Introduction

The strong and virtuous

woman described here is a
model for women to strive after
and for men to look for. She is
not man-made or self-made;
rather she is most emphatically
God-made--House and wealth
are an inheritance from
fathers, but a prudent wife is
from the LORD, Proverbs
19:14.
Proverbs 31:10-31 presents the
Bible's most complete and beauti-
ful picture of what a
good wife should be.
She is capable,
ambitious, a willing
worker: she is kind,
wise, trustworthy,
cheerful, providing for
her household and
reaching beyond.
She knows her worth.
She uses to good
purpose her intelligence, her
physical strength, her God-fearing
character. She makes life abun-
dant for her husband, their chil-
dren, and for the poor and needy
beyond their family circle. A
remilIkable woman!.- Larry
Christenson, The Christian
Family, p. 34.
Exposition
I. (31:10) THE IDENTITY OF
THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN
The phrase, translated by
some as a virtuous woman, and
by others as an excellent wife,
is literally in Hebrew, a woman
of many parts. She is many
faceted, with many sides to her
personality, having many gifts,
strengths and talents. She is the
truly liberated woman, who in no
way is suppressed, for she leads
a full, meaningful and productive
life and uses all her gifts and
strengths for her home.
Some also have translated the
phrase as a woman of strength,
which this virtuous woman most
certainly is. She is made strung
"by wisdom and grace, and the
fear of God ... So it follows, a
virtuous woman is a
woman ... who has the command
of her own spirit and knows how
to manage other people 's, one
that is pious and industrious, and
a help meet for a man. - A
virtuous woman is a woman of
resolution, who, having espoused
good prinCiples, is firm and
Rev. Joe :'vIore( uft, III
steady to them, and will not be
frightened with winds and clouds
from any part of her duty."-
Matthew Henry, Matthew
Henry's Commentary, Vol. 3, p,
801.
II. (31:10) THE PRICELESS
VALUE AND RARITY OF A
VIRTUOUS WOMAN
Her worth is far above
jewels, not only because of who
she is, but because her kind is
hard to find. She is a rarity in
this world. "A virtuous woman
is not found by every one, she is
found by comparatively few. -
Such a wife is a more precious
possession than all earthly things
which are precious, and ... he
who finds such a one has to
speak of his rare fortune."- Keil
& Delitzsch, Commentaries on
the Old Testament, Proverbs,
Vol. II, p. 327,
Perhaps one reason for the
rarity of the gift is that it is so
seldom sought. Tho often is the
search made for accomplishments,
not for virtues." - Charles Bridges,
AN EXPOSmON OF THE
BOOK OF PROVERBS, p. 620.
III. (31:11.27) THE
CHARACTER OF THE
VIRTUOUS W.oMAN
A. (31:11) THE HEART OF
HER HUSBAND TRUSTS IN
HER, AND HE WILL HAVE
NO LACK OF GAIN
The heart of her husband can
rest in her whom he
loves, knowing that
as he goes out to
work, the home is
safe in the hands of
his virtuous wife.
He does not worry
about the manage-
ment of the home,
because he is
confident he can
trust his wife to do what is right
and wise and necessary.
This virtuous woman COD-
ducts herself in such a way that
her husband can place his full
confidence in her.
He trusts in her chastity, which
she never gave him the least
occasion to suspect or to entertain
any jealousy of. : .He trusts in her
conduct, that she will speak in all .
companies, and act in all affairs,
with prudence and discretiOn, so as
not to occasion him either damage
or reproach. He trusts in her
fidelity to his interests, and that she
will never betray his counsels nor
have any interest separate from
that of his family: When he goes
abroad, to attend the concerns of
the public, he can confide in her to
order all his affairs at home, as
well as if he himself were there.
She is a good wife that is fit to be
trusted, and he is a good husband
10 - THE COUNSEL ofChalcedon - December, 1998 - January, 1999
that will leave it to such a wife that
he envies not those who have most
of the wealth of this world; he
needs it not. he has enough. having
such a wife. Happy the couple
that have such satisfaction as this
in each other." - Ma11hew Henry.
p.802.
With such a priceless wife.
for her husband "the home is the
home of his heart." - Bridges. p.
621
B. (31:12) SHE DOES HIM
GOOD AND NOT EVIL ALL
THE DAYS OF HER LIFE
The wife is oriented toward
her husband. and then to her
children. in all she does. She
loves him and is willing to live
for him. doing him good and not
evil all the days of her life. She
wants to be to him a perpetual
spring of nothing but good.
She shows her love for him.
not only in sweet tokens of
physical affection. but also in
endearing practical ways as
well. She tries to be sensitive to
his moods. knowing that soft
words turn away wrath. She
provides what he needs both in
health /\Od sickness. and she
cares for him diligently and
tenderly when anything troubles
him. She would not deliberately
do anything in the world to hurt
him in any way.
And she is to do her husband
good and not evil all the days
of her life. not only in tlle early
days of marriage. not simply now
and then. not just when she is in
a good mood and feels like it. but
all the days of her life. She
does him good. not only all the
days of HIS life. but all the
days of HER life. If she
outlives him. she still is to do him
good in the care of their children.
their property. his good name.
and all the concerns he left
behind.
C. (31:13) SHE LOOKS
FOR WOOL AND FLAX,
AND WORKS WITH HER
HANDS IN DELIGHT
She does her daily chores
cheerfully and not grudgingJyor
bitterly. as many women do
today. Why is it that many
modern women do not enjoy
being a housewives or home-
makers. seeing these positions as
degrading to women? It is
because they do not enjoy doing
daily chores. Instead they
complain about their oppressed
condition as women in a man's
world. "Yet doing chores is part
of what being alive in God's
world is all about [for women
and for men)."- Jay Adams.
Christian Livillg ill the Home.
p. 78. Each sex and each
person has his or her divinely-
assigned calling. which includes
a variety of responsibilities and
chores.
What really counts is whether
or not you can learn to delight in
your work. whatever your task is.
'The Biblical picture of the
liberated woman describes her as
one who has learned to do her job
in delight"- Jay Adams. p. 79.
She sees her housework as a
"Hallelujahing of Jehovail." as
part of her God-given calling for
life.
And notice the last part of the
verse. Pleasure. love for her
work and delight in it are attrib-
uted to hands. Her hands are
active after the pleasure of her
heart because she knows she is
busy in the service of her Savior
and of her husband and family.
In fulfilling all the responsibilities.
privileges and chores that go
with homemaking. the virtuous
woman is doing what her heart
loves to do. Do you serve your
husband and family like this?
D. (31:14) SHE IS
LIKE MERCHANT SHIPS;
SHE BRINGS HER
FOOD FROM AFAR
She searches far and wide
for the best bargains and the
finest quality for her family. In
this sense she is like a merchant
ship. Because she schedules her
time and budgets her money in
the care of her family. she
makes every effort to purchase
for her family the best she can
afford. She is always on fue
alert for sales. bargains. and
garage sales.
E. (31:15) SHE RISES ALSO
WHILE IT IS STILL NIGHT,
AND GIVES FOOD TO HER
HOUSEHOLD, AND POR-
TIONS TO HER MAIDENS
In order to accomplish all she
does. she cannot waste time; so
she lives by a reasonable sched-
ule. often arising early and
staying up late. All that she does
in providing for her household
takes time, and so she often
must arise before dawn to serve
her fami! y and serv ants break-
fast, so they will be ready to go
about their work cheerfully as
soon as day breaks. She is
willing to arise before dawn
because she places the well-
being of her household above her
own comfort. and because her
care for her family brings her
deep satisfaction and joy.
Some are quick to paint out
that this woman did all she did
because she had maiden.s, i.e .
hired housekeepers, to help her.
Some wives may say. "If I had a
housekeeper to help me. I could
do the other things she does."
Let me respond to this common
December, 1998 - January, 1999. THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon-11
attitude by saying fonr things,
two for husbands and two for
wives. (1). Husbands, save and
budget your money so as to hire
some reliable Christian woman
regularly or full-time, to help
your wife with housekeeping, if
at all possible. (2). Wives, train
your children to love to help you
with housework. (3). Husbands,
help your wife with the house-
work on occasion. Pick up and
clean up after yourself. (4).
Wives, thank God that you do
have a few metaphorical "maid-
ens" to assist you, which your
ancestors never thought about:.
refrigerators, freezers, washers
and dryers, dishwashers, gar-
bage disposals, vacuum cleaners,
trash compactors. But even
with all these appliances, it still
would be a great help, if you
husbands could provide for your
wives some hired help.
In arising before the servants
to feed them, we see self-denial
in action in this virtuous woman.
She "goes before her servants in
diligence, no less than in dignity;
imposing nothing upon them,
which she had not first bound
upon herself, ruling her house-
hold most efficiently by the
government of herself."-
Bridges, p. 623.
One of the best historical
examples of this self-denying,
hard-working virtuous woman
was the mistress of the planta-
tion in the Old South. She was
"the keystone of the domestic
economy which bound all the
rest of the structure [of the
plantation and mansion] and
gave it its strength and beauty.
From early mom till mom again
the most important and delicate
concerns of the plantation were
her charge and care. From
superintending the setting of the
turkeys to fighting a pestilence,
there was nothing which was not
her work. She was mistress,
manager, doctor, nurse, counse-
lor, seamstress, teacher,
housekeeper. .. all at once. She
was at the beck and call of
every one, especially of her
husband, to whom she was
'guide, philosopher and friend. '
"What she was only her
husband knew, and even he
stood before her in dumb, half-
amazed admiration, as he might
before the inscrutable vision of a
superior being. What she really
was, was known only to Ood.
Her life was one long act of
devotion-devotion to 00<1,
devotion to her husband, devo-
tion to her children, devotion to
her servants, to her friends, to
the poor, to all humanity. Noth-
ing happened within the range of
her knowledge that her sympathy
did not reach and her charity and
wisdom did not ameliorate ... she
managed her family, regulated
her servants, fed the poor,
nursed the sick, consoled the
bereaved. Who knew of the
visits she paid to the cabins of
her sick and suffering servants,
often, at the dead of night,
'slipping down' the last thing to
see that her directions were
carried Ollt; with her own hands
administering medicines or food;
even by her cheeriness inspiring
new, hope, by her strength giving
courage, by her presence awak-
ing faith; telling in her soft voice
to dying ears the story of the
suffering Savior; soothing the
troubled spirit, and lighting the
path down into the valley of the
dark shadow. What poor person
was there, however inaccessible
the cabin, that was sick or
destitute and knew not her
charity, who that was bereaved
that had not her sympathy ..
"The training of children was
her work. She watched over
them, inspired them, led them,
governed them; her will impelled
them; her word to them, as to
her servants, was law. -
"There was something in
seeing the master and mistress
obeyed by the plantation and'
looked up to by the neighborhood
which inspired the children with
a reverence akin to 'awe which is
not known at this present titue. -
"Then, [when the children
had grown], for the first time,
they dared to jest with her; then,
for the first time, they todk in
that she was like them once,
young and gay and pleasure-
loving, with lovers puriming her;
with coquetries and maidenly
ways; and that she still took
pleasure in the recollection-this
gentle, classic, serious mother
among hertall sons and radiant ,
daughters .. How she blushed as
they laughed at her and teased
her to tell of her conquests, her
confusion making her look
younger and prettier than they
remembered, her, and opening
their eyes to the truth of what
their father had told them so
often, that not one of them was. ,
as beautiful as she." - Thomas
Nelson Page, The Old South,
pp. 154ff, (1892).
F. (31:16) SIIE CONSIDERS
A FIELD AND BUYS. IT; .
FROM HER EAI,l.NINGS SHE
. PLANTS A VINEYARD
Before we go on with the
character and productivity of the
Bible's picture of the virtuous
woman, so as not to lead you '
dear ladies to despair, let me say,
that this list of her accomplish-
ments in Proverbs 31 is, more
12 THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon December, 1998 January, 1999
than likely, an accumulative list
of her accomplishments over her
entire life as wife and mother.
She probably did not do all of
these things at the same time,
but at different times in her life.
Furthermore, it must be recog-
nized that this is an extraordinary
woman, a model all Christian
women should strive to imitate.
She dabbled in real estate.
She had great abilities and her
husband recognized and appreci-
ated them, without being envious
of them or intimidated by her
superiorities. As a good man-
ager, who knows how to del-
egate assignments to those who
can do a better job in their
execution than he, he agreed that
she may handle such matters as
this on her own. But, once
again, it must be emphasized her
business ability is used for the
benefit of her home. Sister, if
your work outside the home
detracts from your role as wife
and mother, quit the outside work
today. It is not worth the price
you and your family will have to
pay!
She not only buys real estate,
she makes it productive with the
money she had earned previ-
ously. Furthermore, she loved to
work in the dirt, gardening with
her grape vines.
G. (31:17) SHE GIRDS
HERSELF WITH
STRENGTH, AND MAKES
HER ARMS STRONG
Not only does she stay in
good physical condition, in order
to have the stamina to do all she
must do as a wife and mother;
but also "strength is as the girdle
which she wraps around her
body. - Thus girded with
strength, out of this fullness of
strength she makes finn or steels
her arms."-Keil, p. 331.
H. (31:18) SHE SENSES
THAT HER GAIN IS GOOD;
HER LAMP DOES NOT GO
OUT AT NIGHT
The benefit and profit she
receives as a result of her hard
work and wise investing stimu-
lates this unwearied woman to
renewed work and diligence in
her calling. The profit of her
labors and her appreciation for
making a profit, "spur on her
active industry to redoubled
effort, and at times, when she is
not fully occupied by tlle over-
sight of her fields and vineyard,
she has another employment
over which her light goes not out
till far in the night." - Keil, p.
331. She is also a seamstress.
I. (31:19) SHE STRETCHES
OUT HER HANDS TO THE
DISTAFF, AND HER HANDS
GRASP THE SPINDLE
That which motivates this
excellent wife is not selfishness
or narrow-mindedness, nor
limited concern for no one
outside the circle of her family.
Her motivation is love-love for
God, love for her family, and love
for those outside her family who
stand in need of her help, as we
will see in the next verse.
J. (31:20) SHE EXTENDS
HER HAND TO THE POOR;
AND SHE STRETCHES
OUT HER HANDS TO
THE NEEDY
Verses 19 and 20 comprise a
beautiful picture: The virtuous
woman stretching out her hands
to her work makes it possible for
her to stretch out her hands to
tllose who are in need.
With sympathy and readiness to
help, she presents herself to those
who are oppressed by the misfor-
tunes of life as if for an alliance, as
if saying: place your confidence in
me, I shall do whatever I can-
there you have my hand! - She
stretches out to him both of her
hands, that he might grasp them,
both of them, or whichever he
may. She does not throw to him
merely a gift from a distance, but
above all she gives to him to
experience her warm sympathy.
- This one verse (20) is com-
plete in itself as a description of
character; and the author has done
well in choosing such strong
expressions, for, WitllOUttllis
sympathy with misery and poverty,
she, so good and trustworthy and
industrious, might indeed be
pleasing to her husband, but not to
God.- Keil, pp. 333,34.
K. (31:21) SHE IS NOT
AFRAID OF THE SNOW FOR
HER HOUSEHOLD, FOR
ALL HER HOUSEHOLD
ARE CLOTHED
WITH SCARLET
Snow in the rainy season is
not rare in Palestine; and it is
often accompanied with freezing
cold. The virtuous woman
knows cold weather is approach-
ing without any fear for her
family, because she has already
plarmed allead and has made
wann woolen clotlling for them
all.
Why is this woolen clothing
described as scarlet? Being
wool it preserves warmth, and
being scarlet it is attractive and
dignified. II Samuel 1 :24 de-
scribes one as
clothed .. .Iuxuriously in
scarlet. She makes sure her
family are neatly and attractively
dressed, not slovenly, dirty, or
sloppy or careless.
L. (31:22) SHE MAKES
COVERINGS FOR HERSELF;
December, 1998 January, 1999 THE COUNSEL of Cha\cedon 13
HER CLOTHING IS FINE
LINEN AND PURPLE
Both she and her children
have warm and fine clothing
because she has made the
clothing herself. She makes
beautiful pillows and tapestries
for her bedroom, and also
clothes herself in costly attire.
("Purple" was costly garments
imported from Tyre and Sidon.)
As Matthew Henry as well said,
"She has rich clothes and puts
them on well."- p. 803. It is
possible to pay too much atten-
tion to dress (I TImothy 2:9, 1
Peter 3:3) and it is possible to
pay too little attention to dress.
Human beings are unified
physical-spiritual personalities;
therefore, physical appearance
and inner dispositions are inter-
related. We show on the outside
what we are on the inside.
Furthermore, people should dress
according to their place and
position in life, according to their
role and function, and in consid-
eration of the situation before
them. Cleanliness is not next to
godliness; cleanliness, insofar as
it is pOSSible, is a part of godli-
ness. Physical beauty is vain
only when it is idolized and
sought after apart from the fear
of God. A woman who fears the
Lord will try her best to dress
attractively; modestly, femininely
and well.
Even in isolated seclusion some
regard [for manner of dress by the
virtuous woman] wonld be due;
much more, as suited to the
gradation which Providence has
assigned; and as commanding an
husband's respect, who justly
claims, that his wife's exterior, so
far as she is concerned, should
continue to be not less pleasing,
than when at first his heart was
draWn to her.- Bridges, p. 624.
M. (31:23) HER HUSBAND IS
KNOWN IN THE GATES,
WHEN HE SITS AMONG
THE ELDERS OF THE LAND
The husband of the virtuous
woman was involved in local
government. We know that
because the local magistrates
would sit at the gates of the city
for official meetings. He had
arisen to a place of political and
religious prominence as an elder
in the city, BECAUSE HE HAD
SUCH AN EXCELLENT
WIFE. She had faithfully helped
him rise to be one of the influen-
tial men in the city. "She ad-
vances the estimation and the
respect in which her husband is
held."- Keil, p. 336. As Prov-
erbs 12:4 says: An excellent
wife is the crown of her
husband, but she who shames
him is as rottenness in his
bones.
By his wise counsels, and
prudent management of affairs, it
appears that he has a discreet
companion fu his bosom, by
conversation with whom he
improves himself. By his cheerful
countenance and pleasant [disposi-
tion] it appears that he has an
agreeable wife at home; for many
that have not have their tempers
strangely soured by it. Nay, by his
appearing clean and neat in his
dress, everything about him decent
and handSOme, yet not gaudy, one
may know he has a good wife at
home, that takes care of his
clothes. - Matthew Henry, p. 802. '
N. (31:24) SHE MAKES
LINEN GARMENTS AND
SELLS THEM, AND SUP-
PLIES BELTS TO THE
TRADESMEN
She had several small busi-
nesses on the side for the benefit
of her home. When should a
wife and mother become in-
volved in home businesses?
"The key to whether ajob is
fitting or not lies solely in
whether the job helps or hinders
her family." Jay Adams, p. 82.
One of these businesses was the
production of a light smock-
frock, a summer dress, worn on
the bare body, i.e., lingerie (1).
O. (31:25) STRENGTH AND
DIGNITY ARE HER
CLOTHING, AND SHE
SMItES AT THE FUTURE
She is clothed inwardly with
strength, and her countenance is
one of peace and dignity. She
carries herself in public, before
her children and before her
husband, with humility and
dignity. She looks to God to
empower her weakness with His
all-sufficient grace to be able to
cope with and grow from all the
changes and crises of life, which
so easily shatter and ruin people
and families built on foundations
of sand and not o.n Jesus Christ.
Her clothing is spiritual strength,
true dignity, trust in the Lord,
righteousness of life, and wisdom
of thought, With which she looks
confideritly into the future, and is
thus armed against all sorrow
and trouble.
She has the comfort and
satisfaction of her virtue in her
own mind - She enjoys a
fimmess and constancy of mind,
has spirit to bear up under the
many crosses and disappointments
which even the wise and virtuous
must expect to meet with in this
world; and this is her clothing, for
defense as well as decency.-
Matthew Henry, p. 804.
She smiles at the future.
She has a victory-orientation
toward the future, full of conti-
14 THE COUNSEL ofChaIcedon December, 1998 - January, 1999
dent assurance thllt the future
belongs to her, because she
belongs to Christ, full offaith
that God will be faithful to His
Word and that the providence, of
God wiII cause all things to work
together for her good and the
good of her family as they love
God and serve Him, Romans
8:28.
One can criticize this virtuous
woman by modern feminist
standards all she wants, but it
cannot be argued otherwise-
this woman is a happy and
fulfilled woman! This fact rings
out in every verse in her descrip-
tion.
She is a womall in every sense
of that great word. Every gift ,that
she has received from God has
been developed and is being used.
Her personality is not squashed.
She is not dragged around by the
hair by her husband. The Biblical
picture is that of a liberated
woman submittingjoyfuUy to the
headship of her husband and living
cheerfully for him. She is deeply
involved in the exciting project of
discovering alllhat God meant for
a woman to be when He made her
to be her husband's helper. She is
his helpernotjust in physical
work ... but also in thinking through
problems, and making decisions.-
Jay Adams, p. 82.
P. (31:26) SHE OPENS HER
MOUTH IN WISDOM, AND
THE TEACHING OF KIND-
NESS IS ON HER TONGUE
I.The Wisdom in Her Mouth
A careful observer can
perceive by her conversation
how much this virtuous woman is
governed by wisdom, which
comes only by believing and
worshipful study of God's Word
and prayer.' When she speaks,
"it is wisdom pressing itself from
her heart outward by means of
which she breaks the silence of
hermouth."- Keil, p. 338. "Her
wisdom and kindness together
put a commanding power into all
she says; they command respect,
they command compliance.
How forcible are right words!"-
Matthew Henry, p. 804.
2. The Law of Kindness
on Her Tongue
In verse 26, the NASV has
the phrase, the teaching of
kindness, and the KJV has the
law of kindness. Kindness is
both the marmer and message of
her teaching. The word is hesed
in Hebrew denoting love, grace,
loyalty, bonded covenant faithful-
ness, mercy. It is that love that
fulfills the law of God, Romans
13:10. The closest N.T. phrase
to the teaching of kindness is
the word of His grace, Acts
20:32. Her instruction was
focused on the covenant of
grace, indicating that she was
theologically minded. She spoke
graciously about grace.
This virtuous woman not only
had the law of love in her heart,
she had wisdom in her mouth
and the law of kindness on her
tongue. "The same love that
binds her heart governs her
tongne."- Bridges, p. 625
This wom1\ll is intellectually
active. She knows how to apply
her thoughts to people's Jives
with WISDOM. And what an
effective communicator of
wisdom she is. Notice that
Proverbs 31 was written by a
King Lemuel, who recorded
what his mother taught him,
Proverbs 31: 11!! This descrip-
tion of an excellent wife was
written by a woman! I Two
things should be emphasized
regarding the wisdom and grace
to be taught by virtuous women.
First, the wisdom a wife-and-
mother teaches her family
comprehends all of life. King
Lemuel's mother taught him
about the exercise of self-
diSCipline and godly dominion in
all areas of life. Notice the
outline of Proverbs 31.
1. (31: 1-9) The Management of
Self, and of Social & Civil Affairs
a.(31:3-5) Words of Warning
(1).Beware ofirnmorality
(2).Beware of dnmkenness
(3).Enjoy wine wisely
b.(31 :6-9) Words of Counsel
(1). Be compassionate
(2).Be dedicated to justice
2. (31:10-31) The Management
of Family Affairs
Second, the life-embracing
wisdom King Lemuel's mother
taught him was poetically writ-
ten. Lemuel more than likely
was recording, not only his
mother's ideas, but the poem his
mother wrote. This appears to
be the case from the use of the
word oracle or burden in
Proverbs 31: 1 to describe what
Lemuel received from his
mother-The words of King
Lemuel, the oracle which his
mother taught him. This word
is used in the prophetic books of
the Bible when it describes a
divinely-revealed, verbal revela-
tion from God to His people that
is to be presented "as is" to the
people with no alterations. If
this is the case, then Lemuel's
virtuous mother appreciated
good literature and had the gift
to write poetry. Proverbs 31 is
superb Hebrew poetry, not only
because of the imagery and the
brilliant use of parallelisms, but
also because the entire section
of31:10-31 is an acrostic. The
December, 1998 - January, 1999 - THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon -15
poet praises the virtuous woman
through all the twenty-two letters
of the Hebrew alphabet. each
verse beginning with a different
letter of the alphabet sequen-
tially.
Q. (31:27) SHE LOOKS
WELL TO THE WAYS OF
HER HOUSEHOLD, AND
DOES NOT EAT THE
BREAD OF IDLENESS
She is observant of all the
comings and goings in her
household. "In her household.
order is the principle of her rule.
Timely orders are given. and
they must be obeyed." - Bridges.
p.625.
When verse 27 says she
looks well to the ways of her
household. it is not only dili-
gence to the external routine of
duties that concerns her. "While
she exercises sound discipline
and maternal anxiety. her pri-
mary principle is a Christian
conscience for their highest
interests; looking well to their
moral habits. their religious
instruction. and attendance on
the means of grace; giving them
time for secret prayer. and
reading the word of God. bring-
ing them to the daily ordinance
offamily worship; inculcating the
careful observance of the
Sabbath; anxiously watching
over their manners. habits. and
connections."- Bridges. p. 625.
IV. (31:28-31) THE
BLESSEDNESS OF THE
VIRTUOUS WOMAN
A. (31:28-29) HER
CHILDREN RISE UP AND
BLESS HER; HER HUSBAND
ALSO, AND HE PRAISES
HER, SAYING: ''MANY
DAUGHTERS HAVE
DONE NOBLY, BUT YOU
EXCEL THEM ALL"
This is the beginning of the
grand finale of this song of
praise of the virtuous woman.
Her children rise up in reveren-
tial honor and bless her in
thanksgiving to God for her and
in expressions of gratitude to her.
along with the verbal praises of
her husband. They bless and
praise her because "she has on
her part brought the house and
them to such prosperity. such a
position of respect. and to a state
where love [hesed] reigns. and
her husband rises up and sings
her praise." - Keil. p. 340
The husband's song of praise
of his wife is in verse 29-Many
daughters have done nobly,
but you excel them all. He is
praising her for her bravery.
energy. purity. love. grace.
faithfulness and diligence in her
calling. He is saying. in effect.
to his wife: "Many noble women
live in this world. but they are no
comparison to you. You are
excellent and incomparable!"
Her husband is so happy with
her that he takes every opportu-
nity to praise her to others and to
herself.
What greater earthly happiness
could she know. than her children's
reverence and her husband's
blessing? We may picture to
ourselves her condition---crowned
with years; her children grown up;
perhaps themselves surrounded
with families. and endeavoriog to
train them. as themselves had been
trained. Their mother is constantly
before their eyes. Her tender
guidance. her wise counsels. her
loviog disciplioe. her holy example.
are vividly kept in remembrance.
They cease not to call her blessed.
and to bless the Lord for her. as
His invaluable gift. No less
wannly does her husband praise
her. His attachment to her was
grounded. not on the deceitful and
vain channs of beauty. but on the
fear of the Lord. She is therefore
in his eyes to the end. the stay of
his declining years. the soother of
his cares. the counselor of his
perplexities. the comforter of his
sorrows. the sunshine of his
earthly joys.- Bridges. p. 627
B. (31:30) CHARM IS DE-
CEITFUL AND BEAUTY IS
VAIN, BUT A WOMAN WHO
FEARS THE LORD, SHE
SHALL BE PRAISED
1. The Value of Charm. Beauty
and the Fear of the Lord
Charm (favor) is deceitful
because the man who values his
wife only because of her physi-
cal beauty is deceived by it.
Beauty is vain when idolized or
separated from the fear of the
Lord. It is also fading. "The
true value of a wife is measured
only by that which is enduring.
according to the moral back-
ground of its external appear-
ance; accordiog to the piety
which makes itself manifest
when the beauty of bodily form
has faded away. in a beauty
which is attractive." - Keil. p.
341.
That which completes and
crowns her character is that she
fears the Lord. Beauty does not
recommend anyone to God. nor
is it a certain indication of the
possession of wisdom and
goodness. Physical beauty has
deceived many men who have
determined their choice of a wife
by it alone. "There may be an
impure deformed soul lodged in a
comely and beautiful body."-
Matthew Henry. p. 804.
But the fear of God reigning in
the heart is the beauty of the soul;
it recommends those that have it to
the favor of God. and is. io His
16 - THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon - December, 1998 January, 1999
sight. of great price; it will last
forever. and bid defiance to death
itself. which consumes the beauty
of the body. but consunuuates the
beauty of the soul. - Matthew
Henry. p. 804.
2. The Certainty of Praise for
the Virtuous Woman
Virtue will have its praise.
This virtuous woman will be
highly and incontestably praised.
"She leaves it to her own works
to praise her. and does not court
the applause of men. Those are
none of the truly virtuous women
that love to hear 111emselves
commended."- Matthew Henry.
p. 804. The virtuous woman
does not seek 111e praise of men
or women. She is content to be
known and loved within her own
circle of family, church and
neighbors. "never pressing
herself iuto notice. "- Bridges. p.
627.
C. (31:31) GIVE HER THE
PRODUCT OF HER HANDS,
AND LET HER WORKS
PRAISE HER IN THE GATES
The product of her hands
are the good works that she has
done day in and day out that
have benefited so many people.
Now. as 111e Lord promises.
those blessings will come back to
her for her own enjoyment-Say
to the righteous that it will go
well with them, for they will
eat the fruit of their actions.
Isaiah 3:10.
This verse is a divine com-
mand. Thank her and !hank God
for the product of her hands
which has meant such blessings
to us. This life of good works is
her best praise. She shall be
praised for her virtue in high
places where people are as-
sembled. e.g . the gates. "They
honor themselves who seek to
praise the works of such a
woman. which carry in them-
selves their own commenda-
tion."- Keil. p. 342. Jesus makes
this same point in his Sermon on
the Mount. when He said: Let
your light shine before men in
such a way that they may see
your good works, and glorify
your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16.
V. THE WOMAN WHO
FEARS THE LORD
A. WHAT DO WOMEN
LIVE FOR?
I.Favor
a. Among O!her Women
(1). Their purpose in living is
to impress other women of fine
taste. culture. wealth and intelli-
gence that they are their equals.
or even superiors.
(2). These women are slaves
to worry. frustration. jealousy.
envy and bitterness.
b.AmongMen
(1). Some live to be recog-
nized for 111eir liberation and
equality with men.
(2). Some live to be sexually
stimulating to men.
c. However Favor is Deceitful
(1). Among women. If you
live for 111eir favor. they will hate
you or see through you.
(2). Among men. Live for
them and they will use. manipu-
late and take advantage of you.
2. Beauty. i.e . Perpetual.
Unchanging Youthfulness
Beauty is good and God-
given. but it becomes ugliness
when it is lived for idolatrously.
Nothing is more tragic than a
woman who refuses to admit to
herself 11mt she is aging?
Beauty is vain. i.e., it fades.
And the woman who lives for it
will be a slave to fear and self-
centeredness. There are few
things uglier than an older
woman trying to look as she did
when she was a very young
woman. by means of cosmetics
and surgery.
3. God. to Fear and Please Hinl
To live for favor or beauty is
to be man's woman. and 111at is
slavery. To live for God is to be
God's woman. and 111at is true
freedom.
A woman who fears 111e Lord
is the most beautiful woman in
111e world. This fear makes her
unique and attractive to Christian
eyes. Without this godly fear. al1
of her other qualities are per-
verted and misshapen.
B. WHAT DOES THIS FEAR
OF THE LORD IN WOMEN
LOOK LIKE?
I.The Centrality of the Fear of
God in the Christian Life: the Fear
of111e Lord is the Principal Thing
God Requires of His People
The conclusion, when all has
been heard, is: fear God and
keep His commandments,
because this applies to every
person, Ecclesiastes 12: 13
The fear of the LORD is the
beginning of knowledge; fools
despise wisdom and instruc-
tion, Proverbs 1:7.
The fear of the Lord is the
soul of godliness-And Abra-
ham said, "Because I
thought, surely there is no
fear of God in this place; and
they will kill me because of
my wife. Genesis 20: 11. (See
also Job 1:8. Proverbs 9:10.1:7.
Genesis 20:11. Isaiah 11:2.3.
Luke 1:50. II Corin111ians 7:1.
Colossians 3:22. Acts 9:31.) The
December, 1998 - January, 1999 - THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon -17
church walks in the fear of the
Lord because the Spirit of Christ
indwells, fills, directs and em-
powers the church; and because
the Holy Spirit is the creator of
this fear in our hearts for He is
Tbe Spirit of the fear of the
Lord, Isaiah 11 :2. The fear of
the Lord gives the most practical
and mundane of d1.\ties their
impetus-Slaves, in all things
obey those who are your
masters on earth .. with
sincerity of heart, fearing the
Lord, Colossians 3 :22. And the
fear of the Lord realizes the
highest reaches of sanctifica-
tion-Therefore, having these
promises, beloved, let us
cleanse ourselves from all
defilement of flesh and spirit,
perfecting holiness in the fear
of God, II Corinthians 7: 1.
I call it the highest duty, be-
cause itis not only a duty itself,
but, as it were, it is the salt that
seasons every duty. For there is
no dUty performed by us that can
by any means be accepted of God,
if it be not seasoned with godly
fear.- John Bunyan, THE FEAR
OF GOD
2. The Nature of the Fear
of the Lord
It [fear of God) is that affec-
tionate reverence by which the
child of God bends himselfhumbly
and carefully to his Father's law.
His wrath is so bitter, and His love
so sweet, that hence springs an
earnest desire to p h ~ s e Him.-
Bridges
a. The Two Elements of
the Fear of the Lord
(1.)FearoftheHoly and Righteous
Judgmentof Abnighty God
My flesh tremble.s for fear of
Thee, and I am afraid of Thy
judgments, Psalm 119:120.
(See also Deuteronomy 17:13,
21:21, Psalm 119:120,27:1,3:6,
Philippians 2:12,13, Romans
U:20,21, Matthew 10:28.) True
faith trembles before revealed
Divine threatenings-For this
reason we must pay much
closer attention to what we
have heard, lest we drift away
from it. For if the word
spoken through angels
proved unalterable, and every
transgression and disobedi-
ence received a just recom-
pense, how shall we escape if
we neglect so great a salva-
tion, Hebrews 2: If. A God-
fearing person is one who knows
contrition of heart for his sio;
and who always takes into
account the righteous judgment
of God before whom he will
stand.
(2.) Awe, Reverence and
Adoration Before the Glory,
Majesty, Beauty and Resplendent
Transcendence of God .
Great and marvelous are
Thy works, 0 Lord God, the
Almighty; righteous and true
are Thy ways, Thou King of the
nations. Who will not fear,O
Lord, and glorify Thy name?
For Thou alone art holy ,
Revelation 15 :34
(See also Isaiah 6: If, Revela-
tion 15:3.4,1:13f.) God sonie-
times overwhelms us as He did
the seraphim and Isaiah in Isaiah
6. To know God at all is to fear
Him, for to know Him is to know
Him who is majestic in holi-
ness.
The fear of God in us is that
frame of heart and mind which
reflects our apprehension of wbo
and what God is; and who and
what God is will tolerate nothing
less than total commitment to
Him.- John Murray, PRINCIPLES
OF CONDUcr
B. THE ACCOMPANI-
MENTS, FRUIT AND ..
STIMULANTS OF THE
FEAR OF THE LORD
(1). An all-pervasive sense of
the presence of God-Where
can I go from Thy Spirit? Or
where can I flee from Thy
presence? If I ascend to
heaven, Thou art there; if I
make my bed in hell, behold,
Thou art there. In take the
wings of the dawn, if I dwell
in the remotest part of the ,
sea, even there Thy hand will
lead me, and Thy right hand
will lay hold of me, Psalm
139:7-10. .
(2). An all-pervasive sense of
our dependence upon God and of
our responsibility to Him in all
we do and think-Cor us there
is but one God, the Father,
from whom are all things, and
we exist for Him; and one
Lord, Jesus Christ, by. whom
Ilre all things, and we 'exist
through Him, I Corinthians 8:6.
(See also Psalm 139:1-6,13-16,
23,24, Acts 17:26-28, Romans
11 :36, I Corinthians 8:6, Hebrews
2:10, Revelation 4: 1 i.)
(3). A constant consciousness
of our relation to God. The first
thought of the godly person in
every circumstance is God's
relationship to him and to the .
circumstance, and his and its
relationship to God. That is God-
consciousness; and that is what
the fear of God is.
(4). Obedience to God.
Consider Abraham. Next to his
faith in God's promise, instant
obedience to God is the out-
standing feature of Abraham's
life-Was not Abraham our
father justified by works,
when he offered up Isaac his
son on the altar? You see
18 - THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon - December, 1998 - January, 1999
that faith was working with
his works, and as a result of
works, faith was perfected,
James 2:21-22. And it was
because he feared the Lord that
he obeyed the Lord's voice. He
could offer up his child of
promise because he feared God.
Nothing had value or meaning
for Abraham except in terms of
his relationship to God. Paul
said that he counted everything
as "dung" compared to his
relation to God in Christ. This
means that the fear of the Lord
shows itself in withholding
nothing from God, however dear
to us it may be, Genesis 22: 12.
Furthermore, when we fear God
we learn to hate evil-The fear
of the LORD is to hate evil;
pride and arrogance and the
evil way, and the perverted
mouth, I hate, Proverbs 8: 13,
and we depart from it-By the
fear of the LORD one keeps
away from evil, Proverbs 16:6
3. The Blessings of the
Fear of the Lord
(a). Those who fear God wiII
not Iack-O fear the LORD,
you His saints; for to those
who fear Him, there is no
want [IackJ. The young lions
do lack and suffer hunger; but
they who seek the LORD
shall not be in want of any
good thing, Psalm 34:9,10. (See
also Proverbs 15:16, Psalm
112: 1,3, Proverbs 22:4.)
(b). Those who fear God wiII
be content with their work and
family-How blessed is every-
one who fears the LORD,
who walks in His ways. When
you shall eat of the fruit of
your hands, you will be happy
and it will be well with you.
You wife shall be like a fruit-
ful vine, within your house,
your children like olive plants
around your table. Behold,
for thus shall the man be
blessed who fears the LORD,
Psalm 128:1-4.
(c). Those who fear God will
be in utmost safety with no
reason to fear anything or
anybody else-The fear of the
LORD leads to life, so that
one may sleep satisfied,
untouched by evil, Proverbs
19:23.
(d). Those who fear the Lord
will have prolonged lives-The
fear of the LORD prolongs
life, but the years of the
wicked will be shortened,
Proverbs 10:27.
(e). The heart, eye and hand
of God rest upon those who fear
Him.
(I). God's Heart-Just as a
father has compassion on his
children, SQ the LORD has
compassion on those who fear
Him,Psalm 103:13.
(2). God's Eye-Behold, the
eye of the LORD is on those
who fear Him, on those who
hope for His lovingkindness, to
deliver their soul from death,
and to keep them alive in
famine,Psalm 33:18.
(3). God's Hand-How great
is Thy goodness, which Thou
hast stored up for those who
fear Thee, which Thou hast
wrought for those who take
refuge in Thee, Psahn 31:19
C. HOW IS TIDS FEAR OF
THE LORD TO BE OB-
TAINED & EXPERIENCED?
First, study the Bible to know
God and to know His wiII for
you-Come, you children,
listen to me; I will teach you
the fear of the LORD, Psahn
34: 11. The one who despises
the Word will be in debt to it,
but the one who fears the
commandment will be re-
warded, Proverbs 13: 13.
Second, pray earnestly that
God would stir up your heart
with knowledge of Him to fear
Him, that He would tum your
knowledge about God into
personal knowledge of God-
Teach me Thy way, 0 LORD;
I will walk in Thy truth; unite
my heart to fear Thy name. I
will give thanks to Thee, 0
Lord my God, with all my
heart, and will glorify Thy
name forever, Psalm 86:11-12.
For if you cry for discern-
ment, lift your voice for
understanding; if you seek
her as silver, and search for
her as for hidden treasures;
then you will discern the fear
of the LORD, and discover
the knowledge of God, Prov-
erbs 2:3-5.
Third, believe that dread of
God can be turned into affection-
ate fear of God through Jesus
Christ, because judgment fell on
Christ instead of on us-He
Himself bore our sins in His
body on the cross, that we
might die to sin and live to
righteousness; for by His
wounds we were healed. For
you were continually straying
like sheep, but now you have
returned to the Shepherd and
Guardian of your souls, I Peter
2:24-25.
Conclusion
1. Wives, memorize this
passage and make it your daily
companion and the pattern for
your life, which pattern you will
not reach without faith in Christ,
submission to His Word, fear of
God and dependence upon the
Holy Spirit.
December, 1998 - January, 1999 - THE COUNSEL ofChalcedon -19
2. Mothers. have your daugh-
ters memorize Proverbs 31:10-
21.
3. Single men. look for this
kind of woman to be your wife.
Make sure you are worthy of
such a woman by being a God-
fearing man yourself.
How valuable also is this
picture. as a directory for the
marriage choice! Let virtue not
beauty be the primary object. Set
agIDnst the vanity of beauty the
true bappiness connected with a .
woman"wbo fears the Lord. Here
is the solid basis for happiness.
"If." says Bishop Beveridge. "I
chOose her for her beauty. I shall
love ber no longer than while that
continues; and then farewell at
once both duty and delight. But if
1 love ber for her virtues; then.
thougb all other sandy foundations
fail. yet will my happiness remain
entire."" Bridges. p. 628
4. If this full length portrait of
a virtuous woman is a model of
godliness. we must observe that
" total devotion to the Lord does
not in any way slacken our
attentionto temporal. social and
physical responsibilities. Rather.
"it renders a woman [and a
man]. scrupulously exact in all
her household obligations. in
everything within her province;
careful riot by ber negligence to
bring reproach upon her holy
profession [offaith in Christ]."-
Bridges. p. 628.
5. Thus we conclude our
study of "this looking-glass
[mirror] for ladies. which they
are desired to open and dress
themselves by; and. if they do so.
their adorning wilt be found to
praise. and honor and glory at
the appearing of Jesus Christ."-
Matthew Henry. p. 805.
I "Wisdom" in the book of
Proverbs is deep INSIGHT into
the true nature of things that
comes with an increasing under-
standing of the Bible; and the
SKll.L to apply these insights
practically to our everyday lives.
1 Aging does not mean the loss
of beauty to those who love you.
As an older man told me once. the
reason older women look beautiful
to him now. whereas they did not
when he was a youngman. is
b e ~ a u s e as he has aged. his eyes
have grown older as well. What
once was not attractive to him, is
now attractive.
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ZO THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon December, 1998 January, 1999