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Living in a spiritually divided marriage is a challenge. I came to faith after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses but my wife remains in that “religion.” No matter what our circumstances are in our marriage, we are called upon to be obedient to God’s law, as in all of life.
The question is “Do you really believe that marriage is a ‘calling’?” That is something to think about. Have you ever thought of your marriage as a calling? Too often it seems, we fail to connect our circumstances in our marriages, divided or not, to God’s Providence. And what do we mean by God’s Providence? The Westminster Confession of Faith beautifully defines and describes it Chapter V, Par. 1:
“God, the great Creator of all things, doth uphold, direct, dispose, and governs all creatures, actions, and things, from the greatest even to the least, by his wise and most holy providence, according to his infallible foreknowledge, and the free and immutable counsel of his own will, to the praise of the glory of his wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy.”
Living in a spiritually divided marriage is a challenge. I came to faith after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses but my wife remains in that “religion.” No matter what our circumstances are in our marriage, we are called upon to be obedient to God’s law, as in all of life.
The question is “Do you really believe that marriage is a ‘calling’?” That is something to think about. Have you ever thought of your marriage as a calling? Too often it seems, we fail to connect our circumstances in our marriages, divided or not, to God’s Providence. And what do we mean by God’s Providence? The Westminster Confession of Faith beautifully defines and describes it Chapter V, Par. 1:
“God, the great Creator of all things, doth uphold, direct, dispose, and governs all creatures, actions, and things, from the greatest even to the least, by his wise and most holy providence, according to his infallible foreknowledge, and the free and immutable counsel of his own will, to the praise of the glory of his wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy.”
Living in a spiritually divided marriage is a challenge. I came to faith after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses but my wife remains in that “religion.” No matter what our circumstances are in our marriage, we are called upon to be obedient to God’s law, as in all of life.
The question is “Do you really believe that marriage is a ‘calling’?” That is something to think about. Have you ever thought of your marriage as a calling? Too often it seems, we fail to connect our circumstances in our marriages, divided or not, to God’s Providence. And what do we mean by God’s Providence? The Westminster Confession of Faith beautifully defines and describes it Chapter V, Par. 1:
“God, the great Creator of all things, doth uphold, direct, dispose, and governs all creatures, actions, and things, from the greatest even to the least, by his wise and most holy providence, according to his infallible foreknowledge, and the free and immutable counsel of his own will, to the praise of the glory of his wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy.”
IN MARRIAGE A Personal Testimony Ernie Zenone, Sr., a member of Stratford Orthodox Presbyterian Church Living in a spiritually divided marriage is a challenge. I came to faith after leaving Jehovahs Witnesses but my wife remains in that religion. No matter what our circumstances are in our marriage, we are called upon to be obedient to Gods law, as in all of life. The question is Do you really believe that marriage is a calling? That is something to think about. Have you ever thought of your marriage as a calling? Too often it seems, we fail to connect our circumstances in our marriages, divided or not, to Gods Providence. And what do we mean by Gods Providence? The Westminster Confession of Faith beautifully defnes and describes it Chapter V, Par. 1: God, the great Creator of all things, doth uphold, direct, dispose, and governs all creatures, actions, and things, from the greatest even to the least, by his wise and most holy providence, according to his infallible foreknowledge, and the free and immutable counsel of his own will, to the praise of the glory of his wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy. Question 11 of the Shorter Catechism asks, What are Gods works of providence? A. Gods works of providence are, his most holy, wise, and powerful preserving and governing all his creatures, and all their actions.
It is sad that we sometimes forget this foundational truth of Gods Word. In our Reformed faith, we are taught to believe this while many other Christians do not see Gods sovereign providence governing much of anything. Life for most people is viewed as subject to chance, luck, even by many Christians. But even we who are Reformed, must still ask ourselves, when it comes to marriage: Do I look at my marriage as providential, that is, ordained by God? If so, we would conclude, then, that God governs the circumstances of our marriage. Willem Teelinek in his book, The Path of True Godliness, writes: a godly person must be content to be whatever God wants him to be, whether rich or poor, sick, healthy, honored, insulted, rejected, or privileged. He must be willing to be tall or short of stature, strong or weak in faith, free or full of temptation- all according to what God considers best.(pp. 40, 41) Will we react to these things as some did when they heard Jesus teach about eating his fesh and drinking his blood? This is an hard saying; who can hear it? (John 6:60) Jesus answered them: Does this offend you? (John 6:61). Isnt it true that we often learn more about ourselves when we react negatively to some things in the Bible? I would say this is especially true with personal matters, and in particular, with our calling of marriage. Where I work, I hear, as you probably do, of so many that have left their girlfriends or spouses over an endless list of reasons. But, it seems to me that it usually boils down to one overriding reason: Personal happiness. the COUNSEL of CHALCEDON 29 We live in a time when those who are supposed to minister faithfully the Word of God have exchanged the gospel for another gospel: the gospel of personal happiness. Self becomes the most important gauge in life. I have even heard a Christian say to me when he told me he was leaving his wife: God doesnt want me to be unhappy! Personal happiness is the gospel of many, and to their unending sorrow. Thats why even Christians will also seek out a church which appeals to them for reasons that promote their personal happiness. There are endless books by professing Christians dealing with this topic. It sells a lot of books! Who wants to hear the words: Except ye repent, ye shall likewise perish Luke 13:3. We need to be ever repenting. We need to be ever reforming. We never have fnally made it even when we are in a faithful church. We can never take this for granted. Without Gods grace we become worse Pharisees than we are by sinful human nature. (Remember the Corinthian church in Pauls letters?) My own experience in over 43 years of marriage to a dear wife who is not a believer has taught me these things. Not at frst; not for many years. Only by Gods mercy and grace have I learned to accept my own calling in a divided marriage. Yet, I have seen powerful reactions among other Christians who are encouraged by my circumstances. I could go to church and wallow in my sorrow over how things are with my marriage, but I dearly love my wife. I have been forgiven all of my many sins. How can I look at her, or anyone, and say: Well, I am not too happy about all this, and so I have a good reason not to love you. Or worse, I have a good reason for leaving: I want to be happy! We must search our own hearts, dear friend. I can only judge myself and try to convey to you what I have seen and learned. It is clear that one of the most scandalous sins among Christians is the readiness to leave and divorce their spouses for every cause Matthew 19:3. There is no commandment: Thou shalt not be unhappy! Our lives as Christians are often full of sorrow and tears, as we journey to Mt. Zion. How many Hill Diffculties have there already been, and will yet be for us to climb? Perhaps our Hill Diffculty is our marriage. It may be our job or even our church. That is not to say that there are not duties and responsibilities we have toward our work or church which may make them better. How many people leave a church because they are not happy in the one in which they are a member of? We become as wanderers in the desert looking for that elusive mirage of cool water. We need no mirages. We have living water in Christ. Is Christ our joy? If the Christian teaching of fnding joy in the Lord Jesus Christ is real and indeed no mirage, then is it not true that He should be our joy in all circumstances? Perhaps we need to look at our persecuted brethren in the world right now who suffer horrifc circumstances for Christ. Have you read the Voice of the Martyrs which reports on what is happening to many of our brothers and sisters in Christ in many parts of the world right now? In summary, we who are married to unbelieving spouses live in a calling in which we must love them and be our Lords witness to them by our lives, not just by our words. It may be with me, or you, that our unsaved loved ones may not be saved until after we go to be with the Lord. Or, it may be that it is not the Lords sovereign will that they be saved at all. Salvation is His alone to give to whomsoever He will. (Read Romans 9) This is my purpose in this article, to write about my own calling, and yours, from the standpoint of Gods Providence in all things, and in all circumstances. While this is certainly true, we also must take care to comfort and encourage others who are in these circumstances. We do not want to be cold hearted and just ignore the trials involved, such as temptations to sexual sins. We need to pray for one another. Pastors and elders can especially say a word of encouragement and also pray, if it is His will, that God would save our unsaved spouses. But, we need to hear this! We need to know that others are praying for us to continue in faithfulness to God and to the one we married and vowed to keep! Some of Gods people have rebelled against Ernie Zenone, Sr. the COUNSEL of CHALCEDON 30 God in marrying an unbeliever in the frst place. There are always repercussions when we disobey. But, we can and must ask Gods forgiveness, repent, and begin to accept that providential calling. Others, like myself, were married when both my wife and I were unsaved. In either circumstance, we need to be obedient to the Lord who is our sovereign Savior and King. We will only add sorrow to our lives if we seek to get out of an unwanted and unhappy marriage. Thomas Watson said, There are two things, which I have always looked upon as diffcult. The one is, to make the wicked sad; and the other is, to make the godly joyful.Dejection in the godly arises from a double spring; either their inward comforts are darkened, or their outward comforts are disturbed. -A Puritan Golden Treasury (Banner of Truth Trust) Regardless of whether we were saved or unsaved at the time we married, we are now called to be obedient no matter the diffculty. Our lives can be a wonderful witness to other believers who have their own struggles, even in a marriage where both are believers. We do not live on an island. What we say and do has great affects on others, for good or bad. May God give us grace to bring glory to Him by our faithfulness even in a divided marriage. May our goal be, not our personal happiness, but fnding joy in our Lord Jesus, regardless of our circumstances, for the joy of the Lord is your strength Nehemiah 8:10. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin James 4:17. And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works - Hebrews 10:24. Q1: What is the chief end of man?A: Mans chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever. (1 Corinthians 10:31, Psalm 73:25) From The Shorter Catechism with Scripture Proofs. Ernie Zenone Many people have come to believe and even well-intentioned Christians have pushed the idea that Prayer Works! But the only God who is there, who hears prayer, and is able to answer prayer, is the God of the Bible, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, prayer, even as a sincere religious or scientifc exercise is not going to work. To go one step further, we must not say as Christians that Prayer works. Prayer doesnt work; God works! And God works in answer to prayers when they are offered in the name of His Son for His glory and according to His will. Im sure you are familiar with these well used verses. Jn 14:13-14, Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorifed in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. Jn 15:7, If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 1 Jn 5:14, And this is the confdence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. John 14:13-14 was spoken in the context of Jesus farewell address to His apostles. He was assuring them that after His departure, the work which he had begun would continue through them (Acts 1:1ff). They would do greater works than He had done because He was going to the Father and was going to authoritatively ask the Father to give them another Helper, the Holy Spirit, John 14:16-17, whose task is to glorify and complete the work of Christ in redeeming His people. So this Prayer Promise was no open ended, blank check, if you just believe, and ask in Jesus name, you will get what you ask for. We ask in Jesus name because it is His work and mission that we are to pursue and desire and accomplish, not our own. And His purpose and practice was to do the will of His Father and to glorify Him, John 17:2, 4. So, of course Prayer Doesnt Work. But God works in answer to prayer, prayed in the name of His Son, to do and provide whatever will accomplish His will, His purposes, and His glory. From the Editor - Continued The Providence of God In Marriage