7 Tools To Get ALL You Want in Life: Communication Super Star

7 Tools to Get ALL you want in Life
Communication Super Star

Volume 1
Empowerment Series

2014 Sun Van denbrande | Amsterdam, the Netherlands
be Seen be Known Association

be seen be Known: The most Powerful Tool to get all you want. www.beseen-beknown.com 2

Copyright 2014 Sun Van denbrande ~ be Seen be Known Association.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including
photocopying, copying this book or post it to a website without written permission of the publisher. However, since it is our
purpose to teach as many persons as possible, you may send this ebook to whom you feel they might benefit from this book.

Sun Van denbrande
Amsterdam, the Netherlands
Published by agreement with Abundance Agency
profit@beseen-beknown.com
www.beseen-beknown.com

Limits of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty
The author and publisher shall not be liable for your misuse of this material. This book is strictly for informational and
educational purposes.

Warning Disclaimer
The purpose of this book is to educate and entertain. The author and/or publisher do not guarantee that anyone following
these techniques, suggestions, tips, ideas, or strategies will become successful. The author and/or publisher shall have
neither liability nor responsibility to anyone with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or
indirectly by the information contained in this book.

Foreword: 7 principles to Master your communication skills
Relationships are all about communication. We use communication all the time and in all relations,
whether it business, spousal and children or friendship relations. Good communication will not only
enhance life, but as well does good communication make life easy and graceful. Good communication
will bring self-esteem and respect. Good communication is the most powerful tool to get all you
want in business and in life, every single time again and again.

Communication is your way to greatness!

These 7 communication principles will help you master effective skills in personal and professional
communication, within groups and within your one-to-one relationships. It does not matter in what
industry you are in; you always use your communication skills to be more effective, to be more
powerful, to be more profound, and to be more influential. Or just to show that you care.

In this book, you will find powerful knowledge to improve your skills for speaking in public, giving
presentations and communication in general. It is powerful, yet simple directly applicable.

Communication is a skill that is learned by practice. You have the ability to grow and develop your
communication skills. It takes effort and time to master it, but with the help of a proven skill set, your
ability to influence people will improve drastically, and you will change the outcome of conversations.
Your relationships will improve to amazing levels.

Masters in communication use more than words to get their message across; it is what they say,
when, how, and why.
Communication is not only words.

The key to success is the power of knowledge.

The best investment is the investment in yourself; those who develop real wealth always invest in
themselves. An empowered person can be free of doubt, free of fear and free to take actions to better
his or her live, be of influence of beloved ones, and help to better the lives for friends and family.

Ive learnt effective communication the hard way. I confess: In my early years, most of the relations
Ive lost due to poor communication skills; these include family relations, my romantic relations, and
friendships.

As a child, I grew up with the violent language of my parents:
Keep your mouth shut; children are to be seen but not to be heard!
My job today was hard enough already. I dont want to hear any of your stories.
When adults speak, it is when children shut up.
And they used to talk with their fists, which is very effective I must say. That was my only
communication and language understanding.
During my childhood, I had to fine-tune in the wants and the needs of my parents, to figure out what
it was they needed at that moment, what I needed to do or say, in order to bring harmony at my
home.

I left my home at the age of 14 and learned to manage my life, and to be self-supporting. I had a
dream: owning my own company, owning my own life, owning my own future.
I thought that every person had skills to figure out the wants and needs of the person youre
communicating with - without explaining in exact details, or what kind of results expected, or whereto
the conversation is lead. This assumption resulted in big arguments with almost everybody because
they did not understand my wants and my needs, as I did not communicate them clear and effectively.


My need to learn all the necessary skills and my hunger to become a successful business owner and
therefore offering my nights of sleep and every spare second, paid of quickly. In the first year as owner
of my dream business - designing luxury interiors for the high end market - I made revenue of 2 million
Euros. In the second year, I refurbished a cruise ship, not to mention that my business sky rocked
ongoing until I sold the business at age 30.
One of the most important things I learned was to communicate effectively: it was the most
powerful tool to get all Ive wanted, all Ive needed; to persuade investors, to sell my concept designs,
to hire people and to manage those people delivering turnkey projects within time and budget, to find
business partners and eventually the power behind the communication towards myself. Imagine how
powerful it is when the self-talk is one of confidence, stimulation, inspiration and empowerment.
I like to share my insights and all I have learned with you. I like to inspire as many business owners as
possible to improve their success in life and in business.
I want to raise global energy by grooming highly successful entrepreneurs. I believe they are the
ones who make or break our society. They provide jobs, safety, stability and money for others. While
our social system is based on 24% of the population making the money which others use and spent
(the unemployed, young, old & government bodies) did it became a very urgent matter to have more
powerful entrepreneurs out there. I do know that successful entrepreneurs are not made at school,
but self-made or taught by mentors.

Welcome to this empowerment series. Since your goal is to transform your life trough education, it
is my honor to help you in this personal process to your success. I am so proud and honored you are
reading this book.

I understand that time is money, so I wont take much of your time; therefor Ive tried to keep this
ebook as short as possible.

Why dont you connect with me? I would be very happy to meet you in my network and have real
communication with you. Maybe you honor me with sharing your best communication skill, or
perhaps your story?

www.LinkedIn.com/in/123Sun
www.facebook.com/books.SunV
plus.google.com/+SunVbeSeenbeKnown

If you want personal coaching on the subject Communication, we have a special program designed
covering:
a) What is the vital piece to the success equation in both our personal and professional
lives? Mastering this will increase every level of performance related to your
company, staff and individual performance, as well as all your personal relationships.
b) What is the secret to persuade someone to your point of view? This will ease when
teaching a life lesson to your child or comfort a friend during a difficult time. And this will
jumpstart teams while working together for profitable, win/win business dealings.
c) What is the message you dont communicate? We often dont see this, but here is
how to easily remove the message you dont want to communicate.
d) What plays a significant role in the pursuit and achievement of your dreams?

With love,

Sun Van denbrande
Business mentor, coach and marketing strategist


7 principles to Master your communication skills

p. 6 You are never not communicating: How you communicate even when you are not

p. 6 - 7 90% is non-verbal: How you use space as a communication tool

p 7 - 8 The mind of the receiver: How important it is that the receiver receives the message as you sent it

p 8 Communication model: How noise interferes with the message

p 8 - 9 Purpose driven communication: How to lead the conversation towards the end goal

p 9 - 10 Situational communication: How to adapt your message to everyone who needs to understand you

p 10 Report: How to be a magnet by caring

p 11 About Sun Van denbrande: How to work with her

bonus


1. You are never not communicating

Great Communicators are aware of this first principal: you are always communicating. You
are always communicating something to someone about something.

Communication is more than words that comes out of our mouth. Communication is also not
communicating.

* Communication is also the way you stand, shake hands, look, roll your eyes, how you smile, how you
dress, how you walk.
You know about body language, we all have been in situations where someone says something, but
their body expresses something else. It may occur during or after the conversation. A smile that
disappears to sudden does not feel real. A smiling mouth without smiling eyes does not feel real. The
words that is a very good idea while rolling with the eyes is not perceived as it truly being a good
idea. We know how awkward it feels and how untrue the words suddenly sound when the body
language does not match the spoken words. Positive words suddenly turn negative.

* What you do or do not do is all communication; when you decide not to reply an email, not to pick
up the phone, not to listen, give the silence treatment, not to react on a proposal, not to applaud, not
to engage in a conversation, not to shake someones hand; you communicate something.
Sometimes you do not know what to do, or how to respond and you choose to avoid it, hoping that
will clear out things. What it really shows is a lack of interest, a lack of commitment, a level of not
readiness or preparedness. The person on the receiving end of your non-communication will make up
his or her own story as to why you show this non-communication. In such cases, this will rarely match
what you intended to communicate. It will never be at the same level as your reason for not
communicating.

Everything you want to get is influenced by your communication. People understand what it is
that you want to get, as this is perceived from your clear communication.

Always be aware of what you communicate by words and by your non-communication. From
the minute you wake up, until you go to bed, your communication emits a vibe.

How is your vibe?

2. 90% is non-verbal

It is not what you say; it is all about how you say it.

Great communicators understand that more than 90% is nonverbal, and more importantly; how you
say it, how you use your space, other peoples space. Nonverbal communication is the most important
aspect of the whole.

*Paralinguistic is such as the tone of voice. It includes the pitch, volume, intonation, sighs, gasps, rate
of speech. Paralanguage should always match the nonverbal communication.
A high pitch shows excitement, a low pitch shows a lack of interest in the subject one is talking about.
The rate of speed can be fast and full of passion, or mellow and without any level of excitement or
passion. How can a prospect be excited about the proposal if you are not?

*Proxemics is body spacing and how you use the personal and public space.

In any situation when you are close to someone, it is important that you are mindful of how you use
peoples personal space. Do you step in their space and suffocate them?
When you shake someones hand, do you respect the personal space or are you too far away from him
or her?
Personal space also includes personal hygiene. Make sure you use deodorant, the right amount of
perfume or cologne. Make sure your breath is fresh.

*Body language of the person you are talking too says it all.
Are the arms folded or unfolded? Are the hands in front or behind him or her?
Does he or she avoid eye contact? What gestures are they making? What facial expression does he or
she use?
Masters in communication have an ability to use their eyebrows, forehead, lips, eyes and cheekbones
to communicate what they want to say.
Are you demonstrative? People can tell if you are aggressive, passive, assertive, authoritative or
compassionate. They will type you as a leader, as a businessperson, based on how you act or how you
shake hands.

*Appearance and the way you dress is communicating the first impression you give to people and how
they think about you.
Clothes do make the man or the woman.

All these are powerful communicating tools about you, because you are always communicating
something.

Can you improve your nonverbal communication?

3. The mind of the receiver

Great communicators understand that sending the messages is not about them, but about the
receiver.

*Start the communication understanding who you are talking too. Successful communication starts in
the mind of the receiver. It does not start out at the mouth of the sender. Put yourself in the mind of
the receiver and build the message around the result you aim for. Look at the qualities and
characteristics of the receiver you are communicating too; your spouse, neighbor, audience, target
demographic, child, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, community member, ideal client.

*True communication takes place when the receiver gets the messages the same way, if not greater,
than you send it. True communication starts when the receiver understands what you have said and
gives you feedback based on what you said.

*Feedback shows that the receiver interpreted the message and can happen in many ways, verbally
and nonverbally; scratching the head, nodding, applause, slam the door, hang up the phone, step
away, order something at sales pitch, say yes, say no, answer in so many ways.

*We have to start with the end in mind and engineer it backwards. Who is the reader of the book?
For who is the event?
For who is the pitch, the seminar, the proposal, the conference?

How can you be more sensitive of the thoughts, needs, goals and wants of your receiver?

4. Communication model

True communicators understand how a communication model applies to every single personal,
professional, spiritual, business, family oriented communication.

You can build walls instead of building bridges with the wrong type of communication, or using
the wrong type of language. It is significant that you use the right type of language on the level of
the individual you are communicating too.

*For a communication model, you have a sender, a receiver and a channel or a method. The sender
creates the message through the method or channel, to the receiver, who interpret the messages. Let
us say that both sender as receiver speak the same language, have a similar lexicon, than
communication should be effective. They should understand the message in the same way. The
channel is important to clear communication.

*Noise can keep things from happening and is there for very important.
Noise exists in so many forms:
- Physical noise: sound getting in the way of communication,
- Intellectual noise: different educational backgrounds or intelligence levels,
- Political noise: some people do not want to listen to what another political group or with other
political background is saying,
- Financial noise: economical differences can create a gap in understanding,
- Cultural noise can get in the way of effectively communicating,
- Racial noise: some people do not want to listen to or communicate with people from another race or
some type of race,
- Emotional noise: difficulties to listen to someone who wounded you,
- Relational noise: personal issues getting in the way to communicate effectively,
- Social noise.

Masters in communication understand the communication model and how to communicate through
all these different noises, how to break down these barriers that interferes with
communicating effectively.

So when communicating, can you be aware of possible noise and eliminate when noticed?

5. Clear Purpose driven communication
One of the greatest strategies of a Master Communicator is that they are purpose driven clear
communicators.

A Master in communication tends to be very clear in their communication because they know the
purpose of their message.

Masters in communication know the purpose of their communication. They lead with a sense of the
why behind the communication and the result of what they expect. They understand the purpose of
why they are saying what they are saying, why they are doing what they are doing, why they are
selling, why they are pitching, why they are organizing, why they are leading.

Understand the why you are communicating.
What is the purpose of what you are saying?

What is the purpose of your message?
What is the outcome of the message?
What is the goal?
What is the mission?
What is the assignment?
What is the target?
And go after it.

Begin with the end in mind. Take the big concept, the big implementation and break it down into small
manageable sizes or into clear and understandable words. In order to be clear, organize the
communication so it makes sense to the person you are sending the message out.

Go to a meeting with a list of points. It does not matter if this is professional or personal.
Write down a list of bullet points you need to talk about in an important conversation, before you pick
up the telephone, send out the email or meet in person.

How can you be more purposeful in what you are saying, and how you are saying it? How can we use
the 90% of nonverbal communication to help us to be more effective in the 10% of verbal
communication?

How can you become crystal clear to whom you are communicating in such a way that they
understand it and apply what you were saying?

Clarity is the success factor for reaching goals, achieving dreams and within
communication.

6. Situational communication

True communicators know how to communicate to their different platforms. They know how to
diversify their communication. Masters in communication are not stuck to communicate in one
certain way of communicating style. You cannot use the same method with everybody.

*Understand that you will always communicate to different types of people all the time. True
communicators have the ability to communicate with a diverse audience of people. They know how to
communicate differently with staff, customers, supporters, partners, children, family and friends in
such a way that everybody gets the message they communicate.

*Learn to use a variety of tricks and skills, based on the environment you are in and the person or
audience to whom you are communicating. A certain language will serve children, another academic
students, or clientele. Know how to talk with the mind of the receiver. Use PowerPoint presentation,
your hands, toys, or just plain nothing more as your voice and the color of your tone. Understand the
perfect tool you need to use in front of your audience.

*You can reach a much bigger audience when you talk from a base of principles and laws, simply
because the law applies to everybody; the law of attraction, the law of gravity, sawing and reaping,
dreams and goals, the law of communication.

* How can you be more effective at diversifying your communication styles by understanding and
getting information in advance? Be proactive about understanding the best way to communicate with
the people that you are trying to build a relation with. Learn to choose the channel effectively for you
and the goals you have for yourself and the person you are trying to communicate with or the group
and the audience.

When you meet somebody, ask him or her how to communicate most effectively or how he or she
wants to communicate with you. Some prefer the phone, some prefer fax to email, and some prefer
communication live in person, others by sms, Skype, by Facebook, Twitter or through iChat.

Masters in communication take one individual, one proposal, and one vendor by one at the time
and follow up with the preferred channel of the receiver.

7. Report
True communicators understand that you have to build report with the person you want to have a
relationship.

It is important you build a relationship first.

Every sales professional will tell you that people buy out of relationship, not because of the product.

People do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care. People want to know
how much you vested, how much relationship they can establish before they invest in your product or
want to know your pitch or want to know what you are doing.

It is important that we build relationships on their lifetime value, not based on a transactional
one time: How much can I get from this client now, at one time opportunity?

Masters in communication know how to put themselves in the world of the audience that are
speaking to, they make themselves one with their end user, the end receiver. They envelope
themselves in that persons world. This creates report. People will open up to you in amazing ways
because they know you care.

How do you show that you care in communication? Is it all about you? How can you show that your
product or answer is going to solve their situation?
How do you show this nonverbally? Can you show with your eyes and hands you care?

Learn to speak the other persons language, being your spouse, your son, your team members, your
clients individually.
How is your Vacation language? Is vacationing to you to walk 3 weeks or is it to sleep and read in a
hammock?
How is your profession language?
How is your work language, entrepreneurial language, productivity language, teamwork language?
The team building language?
Fun language?
Do you all speak the same language?
Do you use the same definition?

A Master in communication understands the language that the receiver understands, uses
and responds to the best. A true communicator adapts it language to the same meaning, content and
vocabulary.
When people know that you care, they will come to you to buy your product, to build relationship
with you.

So, we are at the end of the 7 principles to Master your communication. I hope
you enjoyed the Masterclass.
Why dont you, as homework, recap the Communication Principles and answer
the questions, so you will embed it in your neurolinguistic system and be a true
Master of Communication?
I thank you for joining me on the route to become a true Master in life.

I hope you have enjoyed my 7 Principles to Successful Communication.
If you are feeling as inspired and excited (to have all the tools to get anything
you want in life) as I am after reading this, then I invite you to come work with
me in my Business Growth Program.
We have many options, from affordable online courses to live and personal
mentoring. Many levels of coaching and consulting are offered to success-driven
business owners and startups.
Please reach out at profit@beseen-beknown.com.
I would love to see if we have something that is a fit for you
and your business dreams.
Truly yours,
Sun

About Sun Van denbrande
Sun Van denbrande is business mentor, coach, marketing
strategist and the founder of be Seen be Known Association.
She works with success-driven women entrepreneurs and
exceptional men to build a rock solid foundation for their
business - that is authentic and stands on multiple income
streams. She has been entrepreneur since 1992, which has
enabled her to stop working for money in 2007, and start
doing what she loves: travel, exploring life, serving others to
rise and shine their Higher Self. She believes that global
energy will raise by grooming highly successful
entrepreneurs; they are the ones who make or break a
society - providing jobs, safety and stability for others. You
can find out more about her and how she can empower you
at www.beseen-beknown.com


Haha! Thank you for wanting some more

As my gift to you, because you are eager to learn, I include some more tips. Curiosity, growth and
experience go hand in hand. Moreover, I definitely favor curious people.

It is not because these are free, they have no value. In fact, these may be more valuable to you as
the 7 principles to Master your communication skills.
As every individual has other needs, wants and knowledge base, I do care for you to
improve your communication skills, principles and communication laws.

Bonus 1: Listen

The best communicators have the ability to listen carefully.

Remove all distractions.
*Listen without checking your email, Facebook, laptop up. Put your phone on vibrating,
remove whatever may distract, and get one on one with that person.

*If your regular place is not going to work to communicate effectively for that particular
person: go to another place.

*Pay close attention to what person is saying. Remove the desire to rebut, to response and
focus wholehearted on what they are saying. Engage with eye contact and give feedback as
nodding, mmm, I hear you, it makes sense, tell me more. Keep them talking, and you will
be stunned by what you hear.

*Pay close attention to what person is not saying. Look at their gestures.
Focus on body language. Read between the lines. Listen to how it is said. Listen to their
breathing; is it shallow, deep, fast? Look if their eyes are engaged with you or shifting all over
the place.

*Summarize and restate. Show you were engaged, and got their message before you
communicate your message. Make sure you and the person you are communicating with are
at the same page.
Let me see if I got that right
Ok, this is what I hear you saying
What I believe what you are trying to say is

*Do not interrupt. Let the person speak out his or her mind; let them get their point out,
express what they want to say. Learn how to take turns. Sometimes it might be helpful to give
something as a talking device as a microphone, or a stick, a pen, a remote control, to pass
turns of speaking and listening. Sometimes by interrupting the flow, you can turn a positive
state into a negative state.

*Ask meaningful and empowering questions to steer the conversation into a communication
that produces results, into advancement. Learn how to interject at the right time and ask
empowerment questions.

*Be patient. Let them come onto their own conclusions. Discovery happens when a person is
allowed to find its own answers. It is not always your role to solve something. Sometimes you
just have to be there to listen.

*Take notes while they are talking to you. This prevents you of thinking of answers while you
are listening. Just announce that you want to be actively listening and taking notes helps you
to focus on them, on their goals, needs, expectations, so you can come back with accurate
feedback, thoughts and ideas when they finished speaking.

Bonus 2: energy

Masters in communication have life, zest and presence, they have the ability to change the
atmosphere when they enter a room, and they exude positive energy.

*To have energy is to have the inner G; gratitude and appreciation for life, for opportunity,
creativity, and people. A Master in communication knows he or she affects people. Use your
capacity to influence someone. Do not be just somebody who has something to say. Become
someone with a reason to say it and to say it with a passion, power and conviction.

*Eat the right food, exercise, drink more than sufficient water, and sleep well. Hang around
with high energy and passionate people, positive, influential people.

Great communicators know how to infuse their words with energy.

Bonus 3: confidence

The difference in between an ordinary and a Master communicator is their confidence.

They have confidence in their ability, skills, and confidence in their message, product, service.
They have confidence in their business plan, in their people, in their team or technology.

*Practice hanging around the people, practice the skill. Practicing will make you better.
Practicing will gain your confidence.

*Knowledge; the more you learn, the more you grow, the more you evolve, study, read,
develop, go to conferences, seminars, will increase your confidence.
Find out who the Top People are in your field and study with them. Go to their workshops,
conventions and learn the knowledge, information and skills that you can get from the best
people in your field.

*Experience; do not just study, but also apply it. Experience is key; a person with 15 years
experience will have much more confidence than someone with 2 months of experience or 3
days of experience. Put yourself in the right places and time; put yourself in the environments
where you can apply what you have learned, so you gain wisdom that builds your confidence.

*Relationships increase your confidence. When you go to places where you know people, you
are already more confident. If you have a network with skilled people, you are confident that
you can tap into their knowledge, help, or feedback.

*Repetition; doing something repeatedly, increases your ability and confidence. Do not give
up, do not give in, do not quit.

*Trial and error is great as feedback to better in the future. Do not wallow in your mistake
and in your misfortune. Let failure be your friend. Failure is a fertilizer.

*Feedback from people that care about you will increase your confidence. Hang out with your
natural supporters. The more quality feedback you get, will make you better at what you are
doing. Feedback improves.

*Diversify your success. When you are good in one group, try out another group. Put your
talent and success in a variety of environments, test, and diversify the places you have
success in with the services and products or message you want to promote. You will be
amazed to learn from this diversification and its insight and connection you will gain.

*Appearance: dress for success. Only clothe yourself with which gives you confidence. Your
body is your armor; it should be your communication about how you feel about yourself.
Project your confidence.

*Preparedness. Be ready: know your text, your speech, your audience, your presentation,
know your skills, your talent, your elevator pitch, know your introduction so well that
whenever you been given the opportunity to get the message out, to sell the products and
services., you can flow with high energy, power and passion, because you were prepared.

Great confident communicators get people moving towards the direction that create
positive change.

Bonus 4: cutting edge
You can always rely on Masters in communication to be relevant, to be on the cutting edge,
to be sharp and current.

*Great Masters are eagles. They are soaring in life at an incredible level in business,
relationships, in their personal growth, development and achievement. They know what is
going on in their industry. They are well read, well versed - can quote other experts. In
whatever industry you are in; know the Top people and know what they say about it. Readers
are leaders.

*Be around cutting edge people. Read what they read, talk to mentors, coaches and your
advisory team. Ask questions what they read, what they follow, what series changed their
life?

How can you improve by become more well read? Which relationships do you need to
develop? What systems do you need to purchase?

Bonus 5: be human
Masters in communication are approachable. Touchable. They are transparent. They are
real. They are vulnerable.

*Masters do not want, nor need to be put on a pedestal and worshiped because they
understand that in order to create true communication it takes a human to talk to a human,
to exchange experience and knowledge.

*Masters are approachable. They are not arrogant, have not the faade of being better than
you. They are genuine. They will smile at you, shake your hand, lift you up, and pet your back.

*Great Masters are transparent. They show their scars, their mistakes, weaknesses and
failures. They know that in learning it takes failures to become a master. They know it takes
transparency to create success.
Their openness, transparency, and vulnerability are their shield that protects them.

If you liked what I shared, why dont you connect with me? I would be very happy to meet
you in my network and have a real communication with you. In addition, you might be the
first person to know about what subject my next book will be and when published. Or tell me
about your needs and wants, and Ill be happy to serve you.

www.LinkedIn.com/in/123Sun
www.facebook.com/books.SunV

www.beseen-beknown.com

Thank you!

With my kindest regards,

SunV.
Up to our success!

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