THE MARK

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MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
SUN SHINES ON SIXTH
DANCING BEAR
All of the proposed amend-
ments in the latest referendum have
passed. 47% of the student body
voted on the proposed amend-
ments, which comprised the largest
slate of amendments ever passed by
a student vote.
Earlier this year, a referen-
dum efort failed, and at frst it was
unclear whether this new efort
would be successful. But with the
help of increased student interest
and the use of the SRC website as a
voting platform, quorum was met
by Friday, April 11th, with 257 votes
cast.
Te most talked-about
amendments were those that in-
troduced two new ministerial posi-
tions; the Minister of Human Rights
and the Minister of Health and
Wellness. One other ... CONT. A3
Its the day youve waited im-
patiently all year forthe day when
the sun rises high and the beats
drop low You run up to the front
lawn, kick of your shoes, and lose
yourself in the music.
Quests annual Dancing
Bear Music Festival took place on
April 12 this year. It was a happy
hearted time for all agesfrom bare
bottomed toddlers to dapper old
chapsmusic from the soul, honey
scented sunshine, giggling, paint-
ed facesthe light soaked into the
darkest of places. You lef your shy-
ness behind for a day of musical fun.
For a moment, all ages were playing
like children under the same sun.
Dancing Bear engages folks across
generationsreminding us that
play never gets old.
Around a year away from
when David Helfand will step down
from his role as Quests president,
things are moving steadily along
with the search for his replace-
ment. Isaacson Miller, the executive
search frm, was recently on campus
to consult with students, staf and
faculty alike in small-group meet-
ings. Helfand has unquestionably
been an integral part of Quests suc-
cess and growth as an institution,
and the Quest community needs to
work together to fnd a candidate
that can come anywhere near to fll-
ing his remarkably large shoes.
Eforts have been made by
Quests Search Committee to incor-
porate student input into the search
process, and students seem to appre-
ciate this. One of the main challeng-
es in fnding a new president will
be seeing beyond Helfands mold to
recognize that efective leadership
can come in many diferent styles
that do not resemble his.
Quests Search Committee,
including the Board of Governors
minus David, Eric Gorham as the
representative from the Academic
Council, and alumna Becca Dickin-
son, selected Isaacson Miller as the
search frm back in February. Es-
tablished in 1982, it is an American
search frm that, from its website,
THE MARK
Eleventh Edition
Editor-in-Chief
Jonathan von Ofenheim
News Editor
Alessandro Tersigni
Opinion Editor
Zach Kershman
Arts & Culture Editor
Kendra Perrin
Sports Editor
Kevin Berna
Line & Copy Editor
Lonnie Wake
Production Manager
Maris Winters
Editors-at-Large
Tari Ajadi & Jake Smith
NEWS
EDITORIAL & OPINION
ARTS & CULTURE
SPORTS
GONZO
A
B
C
D
Earlier this month on April
Fools day 2014, Quest awoke to
fnd large amounts of candy spread
around the atrium and academic
building by Arts and Culture Min-
ister Michael Powell and other stu-
dents. Te SRC had been withhold-
ing the candy due to its expiration,
although it was purchased with stu-
dent funds.Te prank has received
both criticism and praise from stu-
dents and ministers alike.
Tis was the same discount-
ed Halloween candy purchased by
SRC President Graham Fischer last
November in an attempt to save
money on candy expenditures. A
few months later, the candy expired
and around a quarter of it was lef
unconsumed, estimates Foundation
Minister Lonnie Wake. Te prank
has been a talking point among
SRC ministers with regards to its
legitimacy, its compromising of
Powells ministerial duties, and its
relevance in the face of the original
recruits transformative leaders for
education, healthcare, philanthro-
py, advocacy, and other endeavors
that advance the public good. It has
found presidents for a host of im-
pressive, even like-minded institu-
tions, including Brown University,
Colorado College, Dartmouth Col-
lege, and Reed College.
At this point in the process,
Isaacson Miller is looking to under-
stand the challenge. In other words,
it is getting to know Quest. Te frm
met separately with two groups of
around ten students, selected for
diversity of representation, on April
3rd and 4th. ... CONT. A2
CANDYGATE SWINGS OPEN
SOMMER HARRIS
Beer-footed in the bear gardena dancing success!
PRESIDENTIAL SEARCH UPDATE
CONSTITUTIONAL
REFERENDUM
PASSES
Executive search frm visits campus to understand what Quest needs in
a leader
short-sighted purchase of the candy.
Really our intentions were
threefold: to get the candy of the
SRCs hands because Graham had
made an unintelligible purchase of
way too much candy that was way
too close to expiration, to provide
the student body with all the candy
they paid for in the frst place, and
to start a tradition of fun pranks on
April Fools day at Quest, explains
Powell.
Fourth year student Mi-
chalina Hunter agrees that giving
the expired candy to students was
the best course of action. What
bothered me was that the [SRC]
took students money and spent it
on candy that was way too much
for everyone to eat because it [has]
expired. Fischer spent upwards of
$700 on candy in November of this
year without ministerial approval.
While maintaining that the
risk associated with eating the ex-
pired candy is insignifcant, Fisch-
er feels that Powells actions were
misaligned with his ministerial re-
sponsibilities. Given the ministers
attendance at the meeting where we
discussed the schools instructions
not to distribute the candy that had
expired, I think that the [prank] dis-
played neglect of his duties, he says.
He also explains that, in a sense,
Powells actions ... CONT. A2
KENDRA PERRIN
JOHN SLOAN
ALESSANDRO TERSIGNI
Minister of Arts and Culture pranks Quest with expired candy,
legitimacy questioned
TARI AJADI & JAKE SMITH
SIGNING OFF
Dear Community, Mark members
and Mom,
Over the past year, the
Mark has grown from strength to
strengthfrom class-project curio
to a full-blown Quest institution.
Witnessing this process has been
incredible. We, as editors-in-chief,
have been responsible for making
sure that the paper comes out each
month and keeps runningwe
have been delivery boys and content
producers. We have also watched
writers attend meetings with no
journalistic experience whatsoever
and grow into accomplished profes-
sionals. We have listened to debates
revolving around things we have
written, sat in on meetings that both
praised and ... CONT. B1
Over forty percent of the stu-
dent body voted in the referen-
dum, passing all amendments
Photo credit: Michael Powell
Photo credit: Sam Hall
G
tion in air pollution, and only about
a 2% increase in the overall cost of
the project.
Woodfbre has yet to dis-
close which energy source they
will use should their proposal for
a Squamish facility pass environ-
mental assessments. If people are
going to lobby them for anything,
it should be this: You want to ask
[Woodfbre] about that over and
over again. Focus on that question
[of natural gas or electricity], said
Moorhouse.
Tere is also an economic
side of the issue, and this is where
the provincial government tries to
justify the LNG industry. Suppos-
edly, a $5 unit of LNG in BC could
sell for $16 in Japan. Tis means the
potential for arbitragebuying low
and selling high. But how stable and
accurate is this Asian price?
According to Lee, there is
no outlasting guarantee on price or
demand from Asian buyers. Japan
and Korea make up half the worlds
LNG market. Afer turning away
from nuclear power following the
2011 Fukushima catastrophe, Japan
looked towards alternative forms of
energy, including imported LNG.
Now, there is public pressure in Ja-
pan to return to nuclear production
and regain energy independence. Ja-
pans potential reversion to its 2010
What does liquefed natural
gas (LNG), the current buzz-word
in BC, mean for the future of Squa-
mish and the sustainability of our
planet? On the evening of Tues-
day, April 8th, an estimated 350
people gathered on the 3rd foor
of Quests atrium with the hopes
of learning more about LNG at
Boom or Bust? BCs LNG Legacy.
Tis event included mini-lectures
by three speakers ofering expertise
from diferent felds, and explored
ranging perspectives on LNG in a
refreshingly candid manner. Te
discussion focused on the environ-
mental and economic implications
of LNG.
Marc Lee, a senior econo-
mist with the Canadian Centre for
Policy Alternatives, explained that
good public policy should carefully
weigh the costs and benefts of deci-
sions. He argued we are not getting
this kind of sobre assessment from
Christie Clarks government. In-
stead, he contended that their pro-
motion of the LNG industry is just
a a bunch of cheerleading, which
he went as far as calling propagan-
da. He, as well as the other speakers,
strove to give a more accurate pic-
ture of the costs of the LNG indus-
LNG imports (before Fukushima)
would mean a 20% drop in demand.
Korea, too, is considering convert-
ing back to nuclear power, meaning
the possibility of another signifcant
drop in demand.
And what about once the
gas is in Asia? It may not be the
miracle solution that people think
it is in terms of replacing coal. Te
idea that the more we sell to China
the better of well all be is in my
opinion utter garbage, said Lee.
As an exporter, BC has little
to no control over how the LNG is
going to be used abroad. It may not
be used as an alternative to coal, and
only add to total carbon emissions.
Abundant LNG may also hinder
innovation in renewable energy.
Whether BCs LNG exports lead to
an overall reduction in global car-
bon emissions ultimately depends
on what Japan, Korea and China
decide to do with their own climate
change policies.
If the forum lef the audi-
ence with any message, it was this:
be informed, be skeptical and speak
up. Tere needs to be honest public
debate about LNG. Te speakers did
not tell the audience what to think,
but encouraged them to remember
something they already know. As
Lee put it, business as usual is not
compatible with a habitable planet.
LNG AGAIN?
try in BC, and a less infated version
of the benefts.
Concerns about LNG are
not just directed at the fnal prod-
uct, but at the process of extracting
it and cooling it to that liquid form.
First, there is fracking, formally
called hydraulic fracturing. Most
people have heard of it by now, but
how bad is it really?
Water use and contamina-
tion are the main concerns with
fracking, and they are legitimate.
Matt Horne, Associate Director
of Pembina Institute, a Canadian
think-tank focused on sustainable
energy, explained that fracking op-
erations in northeast BC use ap-
proximately four million cubic me-
tres of fresh water every year. Tat
is two and a half Alice Lakes inject-
ed into the ground. Te (formerly)
fresh water is contaminated afer
use, and there is no foolproof dis-
posal method. Water leaks happen.
In order to liquefy the nat-
ural gas for shipping, it must be
cooled to -162 degrees Celsius.
Tis is an energy intensive process
that can be powered by natural gas
or electricity. Jeremy Moorhouse,
a senior analyst with Clean Energy
Canada, explained that using elec-
tricity for energy typically means
more jobs at LNG facilities, a third
less carbon pollution, a 90% reduc-
KAYA MORELLI &
KENDRA PERRIN
Citizens seek further LNG information as the proposed Woodfbre facility looms.
CONT. FROM A1 ... Quests Search
Committee also attended these
meetings.Te feedback from these
meetings will inform Isaacson Mill-
ers Challenges and Opportunities
statement, which they will compile
and release as an extendedthink
15 pagejob description.
I thought that the efort by
the Search Committee to consult
students was a good one and a wel-
come step. I know for a fact that that
didnt happen in the past and that
the process was rather secretive,
so Im really glad that they are try-
ing to open it up, said Tari Ajadi, a
third-year student who attended the
consultation session on April 3rd.
Despite much diversity in
opinion amongst the small groups,
there were some recurring themes
in both sessions as to what students
want in their next president.
I think students want a
representative of the university that
echoes their values. I think they
want someone who is going to take
a principled stand, just like David
has, on a variety of topics. Tey
want that person not to be the tradi-
tional model of what a leader is,
said Ajadi.
Kate Hosford, a third-year
student who attended the other stu-
dent consultation, echoed similar
CONT. FROM A1 ... were untrust-
worthy, making this a matter of
principle. I asked him whether or
not he was part of [the prank] and
he said no, so on that front there is
an issue of trust. On the other hand,
the point of the whole endeavor was
not to breach anything.
However, Powell feels that
the spirit of the prank contextual-
izes his actions as part of the fes-
tivities. I said no because we had
made a pact the night before to not
tell anyone for the day because the
whole point was that people would
wonder how this candy got there,
he explains. Asking me whether I
did it, when [Fischer] already knew
it was me because he had seen the
[security] footage, is dishonest be-
cause he was just asking to see what
my response would be. In a sense he
was lying to me as well. And his rea-
soning wasnt in the spirit of the day
or to be fun.
Furthermore, Powell ex-
plains that the prank was not pre-
sented fairly when discussing it with
other ministers at an SRC meeting.
I think most people would say that
the really bad decision was buying
the candy and that the prank on
April Fools day was not the prob-
lem. So then when Graham, Trevor
sentiments. From what the other
students said, it seems like it [should
be] a person who is really dedicated
to the school and embodies a lot
of Quests values.
Ajadi and Hosford both said
that Helfand was a centerpiece in
their discussions. When thinking
of a new president, its really easy to
fall into that idea that it should be
someone like David, said Hosford,
I just cant imagine anyone else do-
ing it.
Ajadi felt this was a good
reason for Helfand to step down.
Tis project, this university, can-
not just be him, it cannot run sole-
ly on his steam. It is a testament to
his leadership that he is able to step
aside at this time.
Tough Isaacson Miller
will continue to work closely with
Quests Search Committee, the pro-
cess will be confdential from here
on in. Tis is so that candidates can
freely apply themselves without the
fear that the institutions where they
are currently employed will fnd out
they are looking elsewhere and label
them as traitorous.
Gorham emphasized that he
is continually seeking student input,
which he will happily pass on to
Isaacson Miller. Tis could be can-
didate recommendations, or simply
characteristics that students desire.
CANDYGATE 2.0
SEARCH CONTINUED
and Lauren really chewed me out at
the meeting, I felt hard done by my
colleagues for something that wasnt
a big deal for most people. Maybe it
was a big deal for [Fischer] because
of his personal connection to the
candy.
Nonetheless, Fischer agrees
that the literal gesture of the prank is
of little consequence. I dont think
anyone is going to be sick from the
candy, I dont think any liability is-
sues will occur, and I dont think
that action will be taken by the SRC
against [Powell].
But be it an insignifcant
prank or a miscarriage of ministe-
rial duties, Hunters point of view
as a student is clear: I paid for that
candy and I want it in my stomach,
even if its expired.
KENDRA PERRIN ALESSANDRO TERSIGNI
NEWS
A2 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
A new indoor climbing gym will be
opening in Squamish in the fall of
2015. More ambitious in scope than
our own Kermode Cave, it will be
over 7000 square feet and include
an espresso bar and work-stations
to provide a community hang-out.
Tis project is the brainchild of
Lauren Watson, a local climber and
entrepreneur. With a passion for
climbing and a love for this town,
Lauren has the energy and positive
attitude that development in Squa-
mish needs. Afer putting in over a
year of hard work on this project,
Lauren sat down with the Mark to
discuss the future of indoor climb-
ing in Squamish, and how Quest
students can be a part of it.

Q: Why do you think Squamish needs
a climbing gym?
A: Te obvious reason is that it rains
for a lot of the year. When I came
here, I had worked at a lot of climb-
ing gyms before and the climbing
industry had been a large part of
my life. Running a climbing gym is
pretty much the only thing I remem-
ber from universityI dont think I
learned anything else. Afer moving
to Squamish, it took me six months
to fnally start asking people why
there wasnt a climbing gym here.
Te common reasonstheres out-
door climbing or the town is too
small to support itwere getting
to me.
Q: How did you address those con-
cerns?
A: I visited many of the climbing
gyms in small towns around the
states, like Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
Tere are six climbing gyms in Boul-
der, Colorado, which has a popula-
tion 100,000 and over 50,000 square
feet of indoor climbing. Tat exam-
ple made me realize that it would be
doable in Squamish. Second of all,
climbing indoors is completely dif-
ferent from climbing outdoorsIm
not competing with outdoor climb-
ing, ever. And Im not relying on
climbers as a customer baseits for
everybody. We have the largest pop-
ulation of children in all of BC, and
those kids have nothing to do afer 6
oclock at night. So its about making
climbing accessible, thats why its
CONT. FROM A1 ... amendment
that sparked public interest pro-
posed to increase quorum from 40%
to 50%, specifcally concerning the
removal of ministers. While many
students, SRC members, and even
Referendum Committee members
were under the impression that this
quorum increase would apply to all
future referendum votes, in reality it
refers only to voting on the removal
of Ministers from their positions.
In the shadow of Januarys
failed referendum, the Referendum
Committee advertised and pub-
licized carefully. Zach Kershman,
Ben Goldstein, Graham Streich, and
Kristina Beer comprised the Consti-
tution Referendum Committee, and
were in charge of getting the word
out by facilitating the voting process
and educating voters about the con-
tents of the slated amendments.
What we did was try to ad-
vertise in the most efective ways we
could under the time constraints.
We sent out a number of all-student
emails, using a diferent approach
than the regularly dry, boring rheto-
ric. We also made some posts on the
all-student Facebook page, and of-
fered sessions to help people use the
SRC website to vote in the computer
going to work.
Q: Youve been working on this proj-
ect for over a year now. What has
been the hardest part?
A: I should probably say that stick-
ing with it has been the hardest
part, but thats not true at allthat
has been the easiest part. In terms
of starting a business, I had no idea
what would be involved, and ev-
erything that Ive learned has been
new. Real estate law: new. Financ-
ing: new. Excel: new... or, revisited.
Everything has been interesting.
Te hardest part has been getting a
building, for a lot of reasons. Squa-
mish is currently holding on to a lot
of land in expectation of growth,
but its not doing anything with it so
there is no growth.

Q: Will you manage the gym once it
opens?
A: Yes. It is the going joke that I am
pretty much making sure I will be in
Squamish foreverI will be in that
gym every day. When I think about
the fact that Im probably not going
to have a vacation for two or three
years, it doesnt matter because Im
here. Every time Ive gone on va-
cation since I moved to Squamish,
I have just wanted to come back.
Working every day doing what I
love is a no brainer.
Q: What are you most excited about
once the gym is fnished?
A: Having a competitive youth pro-
gram and a recreational youth pro-
gram. More generally, Im excited
about hanging out with climbers all
the timesitting at the desk, giving
them espresso afer a day of climb-
ing, hearing about the routes that
they were climbing that day, and
helping them with training. Every-
thing.

Q: Will Quest be involved and, if so,
how?
A: We have spoken to people at
Quest already, and once we have
our ducks in a row then we will def-
nitely incorporate programs with
Quest, or employ Quest students.
We are looking for a lot of help from
Quest studentsas a business own-
er Id love to have Quest challenge a
lot of our ideas and make us better.
REFERENDUM REVISITED
SQUAMISH CLIMBING MOVES IN
lab, said Kershman. Te amend-
ments cover a wide range of issues
addressing things that people felt
should be changed about the cur-
rent constitution or new things that
should be implemented to make the
constitution stronger.
Kershman and the rest of
the Referendum Committee were
successful, rousing almost 50% of
the student body to vote on the pro-
posed amendments.
All this in spite of the grim
outlook of president Graham
Fischer who, when interviewed a
few days before the April 11th, ex-
pressed his doubts that the referen-
dum as a whole would get enough
votes to pass. Te two new Minis-
ters I think are the most important
amendments, but in my view it is
unlikely that this referendum will
reach quorum for any of the amend-
ments.
Ben Goldstein, who was
also on the Referendum Commit-
tee, thinks that students may have
voted yes as a vote of confdence,
without fully knowing what the im-
plications of the amendments were.
When asked if there was anything
he wanted to include in the article,
Goldstein said, Everyone sucks for
not making informed votes.
LONNIE WAKE
JOHN SLOAN
NEWS
A3 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
SUMMER FELLOWS CHOSEN (abridged)
HILLARY YOUNG
Five Quest students pioneer their own
cutting-edge research projects.
Te Summer Fellows pro-
gram ofers Quest students the op-
portunity to creatively explore orig-
inal projects on campus throughout
the summer with the support of
host faculty members. Te program
is administered by Rich Wildman,
Chris Neufeld, Fei Shi, Mai Yasue,
Rob Knop, and Neal Melvin.
Te 2014 Fellow roster in-
cludes Jenna Treissman, Jillian Pool,
Andrew Laird, Tyler Heilman, and
Mabel Vautravers.
Im excited to spend time
with the faculty and get to know a
smaller group of students, said Tre-
issman, who plans to research early
risks and determinants of reproduc-
tive health.
Pool will establish baseline
data for long-term monitoring of
human activity in the recently-de-
veloped Sea to Sky Gondola area. I
want to better understand the hu-
man impact in the area and how it
interacts with my fndings.
Laird will be developing
computer sofware for streamlining
reservoir simulations of Lake Pow-
ell, one of the largest man-made res-
ervoirs in the United States, located
on the border of Arizona and Utah.
Heilman plans to establish a
stand-alone weather station in the
Elfn Lake recreation area by install-
ing a programmed micro-controller
computer to record data. I hope
to compare the data with that from
other weather stations at the Squa-
mish airport, Quest, and the new
Sea to Sky Gondola.
Vautravers will be writing a
short science fction novel of which
gender and sexuality will be themes.
I will consider critical theory and
technology in exploring the way we
understand the social constructs of
gender and sexuality, she explained.
Tough stressful and in-
tensive, the past Summer Fellows
provide strong evidence for the pro-
grams value. Ive learned so much
about the reward of an experience
like this, and the setbacks which
accompany addressing scientifc is-
sues, remarked Justin Lee, whose
research during the summer of 2013
saw the discovery of a tool for de-
tecting the gene expression respon-
sible for macular degeneration-as-
sociated blindness.
Projects initiated during
Summer Fellows programs ofen
become potential Keystones or ex-
pand into larger projects.
Read the full version on the Marks
website.
Q&A with the founder of Squamishs future climbing gym
Lauren Watson doing what she loves.
Tere are no rape kits available in
the Sea-to-Sky Corridor, so if sur-
vivors want to collect evidence for
a criminal investigation, they must
be escorted to Lions Gate Hospital
in North Vancouver in the back of
a police car. Moreover, this must
be done within hours of an assault
taking place, or any evidence found
is compromised. Tis issue may
seem alien to Quest in some ways,
but is a crucial piece to this system,
as hopes of stopping perpetrators
rest on the polices ability to ver-
ify accusations with evidence. A
few tireless individuals on campus
have been battling with Vancouver
Coastal Health about this issue for
some time, but if we as an institu-
tion threw our weight behind it, we
might get somewhere.
We have made headway in
some areas, however. Te Gender &
Sexuality Alliance is spearheading
the efort to get a resource centre on
campus, one packed with informa-
tion, safer sex supplies, and (hope-
fully) trained facilitators ready and
willing to act as another support
to our existing resources. Jessamyn
Smyth, who taught at Quest this
year and has years of experience in
dealing with sexual assault with-
in communities, has been hired to
work with these issues for the next
couple of years. A host of initiatives
addressing how to prevent sexual
assaults prevalence have popped
up on campus, from the Consent
@ Quest poster series to nascent at-
tempts at a SafeWalk program and a
Sex Week. Tese are important and
necessary stepstheyll weave into
As editor-in-chief of the
Mark, as a student at this universi-
ty, and as a friend, I have been di-
rectly dealing with students report-
ing sexual assault this entire school
year. Tese three overlapping roles
ofen lef me paralyzed as the sliv-
ers of information I had been given
and the interviews I had conducted
kept me up at night, leaving me with
panic attacks and with tear-streaked
cheeks. For me, the information was
harrowing. Living with those mem-
ories must be infnitely worse. With
that in mind, I set out to initiate dia-
logue and open up a space for those
students to tell their stories. But af-
ter watching how some of that dia-
logue unfolded, I chose to stop.
I was, and still am, afraid of
getting it wrong, of betraying the
trust of those who have confded in
me, of doing this issue an injustice.
Te ramifcations of failinglegal-
ly, socially and morallyhave been
enough for me to tiptoe around the
issue. Ive tried to showcase diferent
perspectives, report the news when
I could, and do my due diligence.
But I can, and must, try harder.
Our community has done
a terrible thing with our discourse.
We have removed any space for
empathetic engagement with each
other about sexual assault, while
neglecting to have a conversation
based on anything but conjecture
and assumption. We scream at each
other, digitally or otherwise, as if we
are getting through to each other or
even making sense. I am not sepa-
rate from thisI have a loud voice,
a stronger support network by un-
ceasingly confronting sexual assault
at multiple levels. And there is more
work to be doneI believe that we
need an ombudsperson (or a group
that would fulfll a similar function)
to hold all of our institutions (Ad-
ministration, Faculty, the SRC, the
Mark) accountable and to suggest
ways that all of them could con-
duct themselves better. Te fact that
there is work to be done is clear, but
we are on the right track.
However, none of those ini-
tiatives will work unless we as a stu-
dent body shif our mindset from a
place of competition to one of em-
pathy. Many students, particularly
survivors, feel understandably an-
gry. When those students express
their anger, others rebuf them.
Tey are told that they are mili-
tant or spiteful, and are made to
feel subversive or as if they are plot-
ting to destroy this community. But
silencing and dismissing their lived
experiences is an act of violence far
greater than any wrongs they have
been accused of. Te efect that our
words and actions havepartic-
ularly when addressing survivors
of assaultfar outweighs what we
might initially anticipate.
If we want to live up to the
promise of community that we so
proudly brandish, we must bear
witness and do away with the pre-
tense that we dont have a problem,
or that the problem is exaggerated,
or that the issue is limited to a few
bad eggs. It is systemic. And only
by confronting that fact head on can
we begin to make change.
BEAR WITNESS
and I use it liberally. Tis article is
my attempt at penance, and my at-
tempt to model a way forward.
Tus far, as a community, I
believe we have failed to hold our-
selves accountable for the way we
have dealt with sexual assault. We
have set up an institutional and so-
cial structure that leads students to
feel betrayed and misled about the
community they invested in when
they decided to attend this Univer-
sity. Some of this is down to mis-
communicationstudents have
expected responses from the Ad-
ministration that it could not give
because of legal and ethical issues.
But to chalk that up to mis-
communication and walk away is
not good enough. Who or whatever
has led students to believe that the
Administration can act as support
to victims of sexual assault as well as
an arbiter of justice on the same is-
sue with the same students is simply
wrong. Te changes to our Human
Rights Policy address this some-
what, but upon frst glance they
miss a crucial point: the University
is not a body that can take on the
role of judge, jury and execution-
er. Just because we hire an external
investigator does not mean that we
have solved the issue. Te Univer-
sity needs to encourage victims of
assault to go to those who are set
up to do criminal justice workthe
policebefore any considerations
of inquiry here.
But even when discussing
criminal justice, there are obstacles
to survivors of sexual assault get-
ting the help that they might want.
TARI AJADI
EDITORIAL
B1 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
shamed us, and engaged Admin-
istration, Faculty, and the wider
Squamish communityall to do
one thing: to refect the student
body that birthed the Mark.
We still believe in our mis-
sionto provide a journalistic
platform for students to express
themselves, in order to foster a
democratic, open dialogue. Some
of the opinions expressed are con-
troversial, some are beguiling, but
all are authentic to this community.
Tis newspapers survival depends
on the sustained participation of
the rest of the community, whether
through writing an article, sending
in a letter to the editor, taking pho-
tos, debating an article over cofee,
or reading in bed.
By engaging in the issues
germane to the Quest community,
from sexual assault to the Presiden-
tial search, and stewing in the stu-
dent responses, the two of us have
discovered many things about this
community, ourselves, and what it is
to be a journalist. Tis community
struggles at gauging our individual
and communal successes. We con-
fdently buy into narratives about
our superiority, based on a few test
scores, but regularly choose a myth
of an idyllic past Quest rather than
the reality of our concrete and mea-
surable progress towards grace and
self-organization. Te Mark hopes
to act as the even keel when discuss-
ing these sorts of things.
When considering what the
two of us have learned, we quick-
ly arrived at the same conclusion:
a sense of humility (is it ironic to
claim weve learned humility?).
Tat is, how to understand when to
push, when to pull, and maybe most
importantly, when to let go. While
navigating the range of sensitive is-
sues that have arrived at this com-
munitys doorstep this year, weve
been humbled by watching students
engage and address their passions
and concerns.
Tat learned sense of hu-
mility has also served as a catalyst
to our most important journalistic
lesson; to be a journalist is to be a
refection of the community. Striv-
ing to understand the nuances of
the issues and refecting them in
our newspaper is paramount if we
are to create a meaningful dialogue.
Were not implying that being a
quality journalist means having the
ability to acknowledge ones bias,
suppress it, and act as a mouthpiece
for others, but the opposite. Doing
that removes all vibrancy, vitality,
and soul from journalism. We all
inherently perceive and process the
world through subjective prisms.
Acknowledging this means ac-
knowleging our community is more
like a twirling disco ball than a stag-
nant puddle. Tis is the sort of dy-
namic refection we hope the Mark
displays in the future.
We are, of course, tremen-
dously honored to see that there
is interest in continuing the Mark;
we have to view this as evidence of
the success of this paper. Tis past
month we held our frst ever Mast-
head election, and the results are
exciting. Te new Masthead, lead
by Jon von Ofenheim and Caleah
Dean as our successors, is dynam-
ic, hard-working and, most impor-
tantly, approachable. Engage them.
Send endless emails; text them, call
them, or kick down their bedroom
doors. Tats what theyre here for:
to act as the liaisons between the
students and this newspaper. For
their hard work this year and into
the future, we owe an incalculable
debt of gratitude for helping bring
this paper to realization. Without
you, our creative vision would have
been stillborn. Humbly and most
sincerely, thank you.
Sincerely,
Tari Ajadi & Jake Smith
LETTER FROM THE EDITORS (CONT. FROM A1)
Photo credit: Eline Huisken
OP-ED
B2 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
First impressions make all
the diference and you can never
start planning them too early, so Id
like to ask every returning stu-
dent to spend the next 470 words
thinking about September. In four
months, almost 200 new members
of the Quest community will arrive.
With any luck, theyll spend the
next four years here and help each
other to grow and learn. How you
welcome them will determine both
whether they stay and how they
contribute.
Many of us had positive
initial experiences. My frst taste of
life at Quest cemented my decision
to apply. It was December 2009
and I crashed on campus the night
before a preview day. Tere was a
potluck in the South kitchen and a
jam session in the hallway; driving
away from campus I knew that I
could live and thrive in this com-
munity. My experience was dispro-
portionately positive.
Students from other incom-
ing years tell diferent arrival sto-
ries. Some describe feeling resented
by upper year students and being
treated as intruders. Its under-
standable; new students impact the
culture and meeting strangers is
scary, especially when they enter
space that we think of as our own.
Naturally, we voice our concerns
but conversations that blame frst
year classes for shifs in culture
ignore upper years responsibilities
and only create resentment. Em-
bracing and voicing your fear of
the unknown will alienate an entire
generation of Quest students and
undermine your other attempts to
build community.
Like most important things,
consciously engaging with the
incoming class can be difcult. It
requires your time and intention,
both of which are in short supply
afer four months spent working
and apart from friends. I usually
spent September blocks knocking
the rust of of friendships and my
academic skills. Getting to know
frst years splits limited attention in
another direction but as a com-
munity the benefts of welcoming
the incoming class are too many to
ignore.
September is your chance
to demonstrate your ideals. Folks
arrive eager to learn and that makes
September the perfect time to show
them the type of community that
they are entering. Tis community
will never be a homogenous enti-
ty we dont all work, live, party,
and play in the same ways but
we can at least let the folks who
arrive know that they are welcome.
Tat welcome can be as simple as
acknowledging that they exist. It
starts with hello but you can take
your mentorship further by show-
ing them how you get along with,
and in, this space. You can set the
social bar, create opportunities to
mingle, and make this place feel
like home.
Our campus community is
not a single, solid entity; its a per-
formance that we put on together
every day. You have the opportuni-
ty to take on a new role in Septem-
ber and to help the incoming class
to fnd theirs. Greet them, greet
each other, and create a culture of
hellos so that when it comes time
to work and play together, every-
one knows that theyre on the same
team.
Writing this article on the
quilted mattress in the back of a
van on its way to the Pemberton
Hot Springs, its easy to think that
not much has changed over the past
year. As I return to living in Squa-
mish, going to the same Quest par-
ties, even revisiting my Keystone
data, how can I say that my life has
changed importantly and dramat-
ically since graduating? I fnd my-
self embarrassed to be searching
for part-time service jobs, especial-
ly when my fellow alumni all seem
to be moving on to grad school or
dream jobs.
Didnt you graduate? What
are you doing back here?
I thought you got distinc-
tion; why havent you followed up
with that?
Its hard to know which of
these sentiments are coming from
other people versus myselfwe all
know how Quest conditions us to
defne productivity in a very specifc
way. But Im determined to change
my personal defnition of produc-
tive to better refect this phase in
my life.
So, what are you doing
now?
Figuring it out. Floating.
Fun-employed.
It turns out that, for me, be-
ing fun-employed is not that fun. At
least its not living the dream in the
way that I had imagined. I got a sea-
sonal job in the summer afer grad
so that I wouldnt have to work for
a whilethe dream was still fufy
and idealistic at that point. In my
mind, a winter climbing trip with
friends was the perfect way to revel
in my newfound freedom. In reality,
this was not my dream; it was some-
one elses, and I just couldnt think
of anything for myself. I was faint-
ly aware and terrifed by this fact,
but the fights were already booked.
Please be gentle, Las Vegas.
Wait, Las Vegas? More of-
ten than not I found myself won-
dering how I ended up living in
my ex-boyfriends car (minus the
ex-boyfriend) in fucking Las Vegas,
knowing no one, for two months. I
had similar thoughts when I moved
into a van with someone I met in a
tiny-ass town in middle-of-nowhere
California for another month. Yes, it
was as crazy as it sounds. Its not im-
possible to describe my experience,
but I fnd it so hard to choose which
details to share with my friends, let
alone within this article. For now,
Ill do an injustice by saying that I
experienced climbing incredible
rocks, being cold and alone, feeling
strong, feeling weak, meeting beau-
tiful people, and redefning person-
al hygiene standards.
But then I hurt myself while
I was climbing and had to come
home. Just as I was getting into the
groove of my nomadic life, I was
thrown out of it. Now Im back to
what feels like square one: youve
gone on your spirit quest and now
you should probably do something
realschool or work. Yeah, maybe
I should. Or maybe I should heal
up and buy a van to live out of, just
climbing rocks and meeting people.
An equal number of people have
suggested both options, and every-
thing in between. And Im 100%
lost. Tis is when being fun-em-
ployed is actually just stagnation.
Just unemployment.
Ive been told that letting
yourself be lost is braver than just
going to grad school or getting a job
without really deciding what you
want. I like this idea because I would
like to think of myself as brave. And
humble. Regardless, I know its not
an easy place to be, and its really
hard to convince myself and other
people that its acceptable, let alone
ideal. I would say as a word of advice
that getting lost will better you and
point you in the right direction, or
something fakey and inspirational
along those lines. But I cant say that
because I havent made it out yet. I
fucking hope its true.
DEGREES OF FUN-EMPLOYMENT
HEATHER HARDEN
A Quest alumna refects on her experience over the past year
Dear readers and contributors,
It takes a helluva lot to run
a newspaper. It takes a helluva lot
more to do so from scratch, un-
der the block, and for free. Conse-
quently, we are all indebted to the
Marks inaugural masthead and, as
the incoming masthead, we would
like to express our gratitude to ed-
itors-in-chief Tari Ajadi and Jake
Smith, section editors Alessandro
Tersigni, Elise Scribner, and Cale-
ah Dean, production manager Brad
Klees, and social media/distribu-
tion manager Jordan Ross, as well
as all past and present writers for
the Mark. Te work that these in-
dividuals have put in to both create
and maintain Quests frst bona fde
newspaper production is invaluable.
We can now welcome and in-
troduce the incoming masthead for
the 2014/15 school year. Beginning
with this issue, Caleah Dean and I
are flling in as editors-in-chief, our
news editor remains Alessandro
Tersigni, Zach Kershman is taking
over the opinion section, Kend-
ra Perrin is our new arts & culture
editor, Kevin Berna is covering
sports, and Maris Winters is man-
aging production. We look forward
to continuing the Mark through its
second year and upholding the val-
ues and journalistic integrity of its
founders.
Sincerely,
Jonathan von Ofenheim
Editor-in-chief
THANK YOU
TO REMEMBER IN SEPTEMBER
JON FARMER
EDITORIAL
Photo credit: Tucker Sherman
OPINION
B3 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
It feels like being strapped
into a roller coaster; moving steadi-
ly and inevitably up and up to the
peak of the ride, anticipation and
excitement rising within you. You
pause at the top, teetering and sus-
pended for a moment before fying
down in one long exhalation.
What does an orgasm feel
like? Scof if youd like, but as it turns
out fewer folks know how to answer
this question than you might think.
We have asked men and women,
breeders and queers, folks who have
gotten of a lot in their life and folks
who are unsure of whether they
have ever gotten of at all: what does
an orgasm feel like? Te answers
tend to fall into two categories. Te
frst category is full of small details.
Tese answers include things like: I
stop breathing, my ass tenses up re-
ally bad, my mind goes blank, I get
really scared, I feel like Im about
to pee, I shake really hard, I make
a face like I just tasted something
sour.
Te second category is full
of fantastical metaphors. Its like,
one student started, a cool breeze
lifing of the water and onto a
beach. On the beach is a feather
and the breeze picks up the feather
and its just tumbling and tumbling
without falling, that is what my fa-
vorite kind of orgasm feels like.
Another student had an almost di-
ametrically opposed outlook when
they suggested this metaphor: Its
like getting sucked down a bathtub
drain. Its like youre in the bathtub
and youre circling the drain and
youre going faster and faster and
youre looking at this tiny drain and
youre thinking: no way. Tere is no
way that my whole body is going to
ft down that tiny drain. And then
I have a lot of regrets about
my time at Quest. It took major re-
straint to not write this issues col-
umn by stringing together all of the
apologies I want to maketo in-
dividuals, to groups, to the school.
But regrets beget lessons, and shar-
ing lessons is (at least a little) less
self-indulgent than sharing regrets.
So here they are: the two big lessons
I learned from Quest.
Work hard, but on the
right things. Over my time here,
Ive played roles at various lev-
els in virtually every institutional
piece of the school: SRC, Residence
Council, Admissions, the Learning
Commons, Residence Front Desk,
Student Afairs, Dancing Bear, Fa-
cilities, Quest Stewardship Society
(picking up litter), Choir, the Mu-
Maybe a few weeks, at
most, answered one student, Id
say a month or two, said another,
one time, I had to wait a whole
term! Te amount of time some
tutors are taking to return our grad-
ed assignments is really starting to
grind the gears of many Quest stu-
dents. Are they simply master pro-
crastinators like us, or is there more
to this frustrating situation?
Imagine the frst day of a
new block. You sit down in a spot
youve deemed suitable (until peo-
ple decide that its acceptable to
switch seats) and begin to peruse
the syllabus. And there it is, the
mainstay of the Quest curriculum.
Tat fnal project that asks for an
8-10 page essay and a redundant
presentation, all due on one of the
last two days of block.
Fast forward to the afer-
noon of the fnal Wednesday. Te
students work is done, but the tu-
tors has just begun. Afer listening
to and critiquing twenty presenta-
tions, I imagine teachers want to
take advantage of block break just
as much as we do. Speaking with
tutor Rob Knop gave me an idea of
the diferent types of block breaks
teachers have. If I have class next
Monday, its defnitely not a break,
said Knop, I spend it marking old
assignments and making new ones
for next block, and sometimes I
dont even get it all done. He com-
mented on the difculty of hand-
ing in the grades from the previous
block while simultaneously facili-
tating another.
Te problem is that theres
no frm deadline on when we have
to turn in grades. Ive heard by the
frst Friday of block, but Ive also
heard by the second. Knop says it
GETTING OFF
MABEL VAUTRAVERS &
CALEAH DEAN
you get sucked down the drain and
then its over and youre exhausted.
Weve gotten the feeling afer ask-
ing around that it is really difcult
for folks to describe how an orgasm
feels without using some sort of
metaphor.
So what is an orgasm exact-
ly? Our handy Google dictionary
defnes it as a climax of sexual ex-
citement, characterized by feelings
of pleasure centered in the genitals
and (in men) experienced as an ac-
companiment to ejaculation. We
already know that this is a fawed
defnition because ejaculation does
not need to accompany an orgasm
and one can orgasm without ejacu-
lating. Libby Ebert, whose question
is What is the experience of the fe-
male orgasm?, says: I would defne
orgasm as a spectrum of pleasurable
intensities that can vary from expe-
rience to experience and from per-
son to person. And orgasm can oc-
cur from stimulation in erogenous
zones, including satisfying mental
and physical stimulation. It assists
in the overall satisfaction for the in-
dividual, but it is not the zenith of
sexual satisfaction.
Te majority of people in-
terviewed said that their best or-
gasms happened either when they
were alone or with a partner who
they were comfortable enough with
to be able to ask for exactly what
they wanted. Talk to your partners
about what their orgasms feel like.
Ask them how they would describe
their favorite kind of orgasm and
whether or not they have very dif-
ferent kinds of orgasms.
We have had a great year
talking about getting of. Have a fun
and adventurous summer, and dont
forget to keep questioning every-
thing about sex.
Play Safe,
Mabel & Caleah
MISSING THE MARK
KEVIN BERNA
also varies by time of year. Because
of course registration, in April tu-
tors are pressured to get their grades
in very quickly. Knop believes that
the solution to this is having a stan-
dard for what tutors are supposed
to do over block break. Tis will en-
sure that no matter what their next
months schedule looks like, every
tutor will have the same expecta-
tions.
In my experience, a block
can only really play out in one of
two ways. Sometimes, you have a
tutor that is consistent with mark-
ing throughout the block so that
you can estimate what your fnal
grade will be, even before receiving
feedback your fnal project. Or, you
have that tutor who doesnt return
the mark from your frst paper until
afer you have handed in your sec-
ond one, and the vicious cycle con-
tinues even afer youve completed
the block.
My advice: pick your battles.
I dont think that waiting a month
for your mark is that big of a deal.
Despite our small size, were just as
demanding as any larger student
body. Besides, youll probably be
too focused on your next block to
realize that your most recent grade
has yet to be submitted. Tat be-
ing said, I think that studentsaf-
ter this month of graceshould
take it upon themselves to talk to
Tim Schoahs, because according
to Knop, he really gets afer tutors
about submitting their grades.
We all work extremely hard
to hand in our assignments by the
specifed deadline. While I agree
that this isnt a simple case of pro-
crastination, we shouldnt have to
wait an unreasonable length of time
to ofcially close the book on a giv-
en block.
INSTITUTIONALIZING REVOLUTION
CALEB RAIBLE-CLARK
sic Bay, Kermode Krazies, Fogon
(a band comprising virtually every
non-classical musician on campus
at the time), the Mark, the Cafete-
ria, Graduating Class representa-
tive, a dozen or so block-repping
shifs, Summer Fellows (and there-
fore Summer Scholars), fundraising
for the school, Te Fire Pact (who
built the majority of fres), and even
the nameless renegade force re-
sponsible for (to state it politically)
revamping the woods.
Most of my time working
in these roles was poorly, or at least
inefciently, spent. I rarely put my
best (or even sufcient) efort into
the role. Generally, someone else
could and would have done a better
job than I did. I should have given
more space for others to step up; I
should have done fewer things.
To be clear, though, I wish
that I had done fewer things, not
that I had spent less total time do-
ing extra-curriculars. I am utterly
convinced that hard work for oth-
er people is the single most valu-
able undertaking, and I have seen
worthwhile work transform many
Quest students. I want you to be as
busy as I have been, but with a nar-
rower number of things, with better
focus.
My second point. Be grate-
ful; do not, however, be complacent.
Quests most dedicated loyalists can
be identifed by a particular habit:
when an issue is raised, they instinc-
tively hold up what is good; more
to the point, they hold up what the
school (i.e. the administration, the
faculty, the SRC, or the relevant
group) has done well. For instance,
the recent Coast Mountain Acad-
emy (CMA) conversation on the
Quest Students Page. Loyalists were
the frst to comment; the conversa-
tion started with a litany of CMAs
benefts to Quest. But something of-
fering good is not the same as some-
thing ofering (or representing) no
bad. I think that CMA is great; that
doesnt mean that the process man-
aging the agreement with them was
a good process. Quest is awesome
in many ways, but it sucks in others.
By all means, be a loyalist; gratitude
is fundamental. But do not stop at
fnding good in a situation. Figure
out how to leverage the good. If you
are grateful for a thing, do the work
of making it even better, so that oth-
ers can be more grateful.
Being critical is not always
comfortable. But its worth it. As
David is so fond of reminding me,
confict is healthy. I mostly agree:
confict is healthy if you make it so.
The increasing wait times for receiving fnal grades are
frustrating some students, but is it really an issue?
My two main lessons from Quest
OPINION
B4 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Dear Editor,
Given that the schools ad-
ministration has chosen to discon-
tinue exit interviews, and given that
I have plenty to say, I have written
a lengthy document explaining my
problems with faculty, staf, admin-
istration, student leadership, and
the school in general. Te docu-
ment will be published online soon.
As a teaser, here is a list of conclu-
sions (without their supporting rea-
soning) that I have reached, in no
particular order.
Te meal plan system is
clearly fawed; a lack of semes-
ter-to-semester roll-over is useful
only insofar as it provides evidence
that this school is run by hippies
(hippies, like other lef-wing folk,
think economics isnt real).
Quest students are racist.
Te school is too.
Te faculty is heavily
worked; its okay if tutors dont sub-
mit grades until the end of the
Dear Editor,
I have spent a lot of time over
my last four years at Quest refecting
on what leadership means and can
look like in our small community.
Quest leaders have naturally taken
many forms, evolving as the size,
dynamics, and personalities of the
school continue to change. During
my frst year, when the school was
as large as next years incoming
class, community engagement was
defned according to a style of extro-
verted, over-committed, and con-
stantly innovative leadership from
students. With little infrastructure
and few clubs or traditions, there
was a need for students to assert
who they were as community mem-
bers by identifying and flling as
many voids as possible. Tis put a
high demand on the few students
around to spearhead large projects
and commit to multiple roles si-
multaneously. While energy and the
volume of activities were high, so
was the rate of burn out, and there
were ofen not enough students or
time to attend events.
Te SRC emerged as a proj-
ect to fll one such void during the
Universitys second year of opera-
tion. Initially, it was created in re-
sponse to a need for a formal stu-
dent advocacy group and liaison to
communicate between the student
body and administration. Yet, this
advocacy and communication role
has been diluted as the SRCs man-
date has expanded. Now in its sixth
year of operation, the SRC efective-
ly functions as a funding body and
event planning committee. I believe
that this shif in focus arose more as
a byproduct of the Universitys ear-
ly expectations for community en-
gagement than as a natural primary
function for the council itself.
When there were less than
two hundred students on campus,
individuals who were interested in
running for SRC were simply those
who were interested in engaging the
community at large. At a time when
student leadership was equated with
initiating as many events, clubs, and
projects as possible, this practice
created an expectation for Minis-
ters to be the ones who develop and
implement big projects related to
their constituencies. Tis expecta-
tion is refected in the platforms of
candidates during Ministerial elec-
tions, where speeches are laced with
promises of creating however many
more events and projects. As elec-
tions pass and a new year begins,
Ministers delve into the task of de-
livering on their promises while the
ideas of those who lost the election
seem to fall by the wayside.
Te pressure for Ministers,
as student leaders, to be the prima-
ry organizers and implementers for
activities on campus undermines
the SRCs ability to perform its oth-
er functions efectively. Not only do
some of the SRCs most basic oper-
ations fail to happen smoothly, but
also its potential as a representative
group has yet to be realized. Year af-
ter year, it struggles to communicate
with the student body, administra-
tion, and even its own members.
Moreover, a false assumption seems
to exist among the student body
that certain types of community
involvement are restricted for SRC
Ministers and Floor Reps. Conse-
quently, the assumptions and ex-
pectations that persist according to
an outdated notion of community
engagement have lef the relation-
ship between the SRC and Students
Association uncompelling, if not
dysfunctional, at best.
Tis is nobodys fault; it is
one of the many growing pains of
our young institution. It should also
not take away from the incredible
contributions that very committed
students have made to this commu-
nity. I have been extremely proud
and inspired by both SRC Minis-
ters and other members of the Stu-
dents Association who have given
their hard work, ideas, and passion.
However, our population has now
reached over fve hundred, great-
ly impacting the dynamic between
the students and the University. Te
need for communication continues
to increase, while there no longer
seems to be a shortage of individ-
uals with the organizational capac-
ity to put on great events. Perhaps
it is time that we reconsider what
community engagement means at
Quest, including the roles of stu-
dent leaders within the SRC and the
Students Association.
Te SRC has the potential
to help facilitate the growth and
shape of the Quest community by
being both a network and a cata-
lyst. Its primary functions should
be to move information, follow up
on ideas, connect people, and pro-
tect student voices and interests.
Tis requires that it reassert its
representative capacity within the
University, serving as a forum for
dialogue. However, to make such
dialogue useful, leadership as an
SRC member entails supporting the
emergence of student leadership
and engagement across campus. As
networkers and catalysts, SRC Min-
isters have the opportunity to serve
as a focal point for diferent student
interests and issues, making oppor-
tunities for involvement both avail-
able and widespread.
Refocusing the SRC in this
way also requires that members of
the Students Association recognize
their own responsibility and poten-
tial to shape this community. With-
out commitment from the student
body to create an environment they
wish to live in, the work of groups
like the SRC or Residence Council
becomes futile. Te SRC is not an
institution with its own agenda; it
is a group of students who try their
best to be a useful resource for the
ideas and passions of others. It is up
to Quest students to not only voice
those ideas, but also be willing to
take initiative when they recognize
an opportunity here and there to
make our home a better place.
With this, I propose a new
defnition for community engage-
ment at Quest. A student who
efectively engages with our com-
munity demonstrates a style of
leadership that is intentional, col-
laborative, and passionate. Tis may
not always be the glamorous work.
Even so, such leadership is inspiring
because it involves an awareness of
ones place in their community, and
a willingness to take risks and ask
questions, to always try and some-
times fail.
It is not hard to imag-
ine such engagement; it is already
demonstrated by dozens of our
peers whose success is not mea-
sured by the quantity of ways they
are involved, but the quality of their
words and their actions. Tose stu-
dents have been teaching me the
meaning of integrity for four years
now. By emphasizing that quali-
ty in the expectations we place on
ourselves and others, leadership at
Quest may become a community
process as opposed to an individual
event. What happens as a result of
this process? Shit gets done. Better.
And home becomes a place we feel
like we belong.
Lauren Head
semester.
Athletes are not a separate
segment of the population because
of pre-season, as student afairs
inferred earlier this year in Ned-
er Gatmon-Segals October article,
titled Ofsides. Te real causes are
some combination of coach mental-
ity, racism, easily-changeable habits
by both athletes and students, com-
petition for resources in a restrict-
ed budget, and general institutional
silence on the topic due to confict
aversion. We should stop dodging
this conversation.
(Not a lawyer so Im not
sure this is trueDavid please dont
sue me for libelbut from what I
can tell) Quest pretty much ignores
standard labour laws.
David is like Jazz music. To-
ran is like predictable loud rock mu-
sic. Ryan is like 15th century Fran-
co-Flemish compositions. Melanie
is like popular white rap.
Students these days arent
rowdier or more disrespectful than
students in the past; there are just
more of them.
Te administrations discus-
sion on drug and alcohol consump-
tion is too blatantly like propaganda
to be helpful.
Visiting and new tutors
should not teach classes dominated
by frst years.
Students are better than
staf at talking to people with lots of
money, particularly people without
non-proft fundraising experience.
Faculty governance is crip-
pled and apparently hated by all of
those involved. Faculty meetings
should be public except for execu-
tive sessions for sensitive topics.
Te SRC assumes that their
opinions are a good enough rep-
resentation of student opinion.
Teyre wrong.
Te SRC chairperson needs
to be dramatically more aggressive
and proactive.
If you have a problem with
how clean your room (or some part
of campus) is, use some combina-
tion of shock and awe.
Admissions needs to focus
on fnding world-changers rather
than rebels.
Te learning commons
should hire fourth years instead of
trying to cultivate experience.
Science tutors are way too
afraid of teaching math; conse-
quently, fourth year students are
about as bad at quantitative reason-
ing as frst years.
Te Mark needs to start
polling students.
Te SRC needs written poli-
cy and a strategic plan.
Quest administration needs
to make their opinions and priori-
ties public; too ofen it is reactive
rather than proactive.
Brew beer in your room.
Yours,
Caleb C$ Raible-Clark
The views expressed in these letters do not necessarily
refect those of the Mark.
ARTS & CULTURE
C1 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
Every time I travel, I am
reminded of how little I know. Ive
also realized that everything I think
I know about anything could be
wrong. Tis makes me excited and
a little nervous, and Im always lef
wanting to travel and discover more.
Perceptions and compar-
isons are funny things. Tis is my
frst time in Asia, but it is not my
frst time living abroad for an ex-
tended period of time. In grade 10,
I spent a year in Brazil and my per-
ceptions of education and child la-
bour were challenged and changed.
Tis time, it is my perceptions of
race, hierarchies, and democracies
that are being challenged and are
slowly evolving.
Tese are some of my fa-
vourite things about leaving a place
where I am comfortable: a chang-
ing mindset and questioning one-
self. Here, because of the colour of
my skin, I am treated in one of two
ways. I am either part of the upper
class society, or I am an outsider,
only here to instill values that are
un-Bhutanese and ofen unwant-
ed. Its a juggling act, constantly
attempting to fnd my place within
the classroom, my internship, bars,
restaurants, and within society.
I dont know if I should sim-
ply play the role of the observer,
making up for so many others who
have come to Bhutan to fx one part
of the country or another. I know
that asking questions is rude and ar-
rogant, but maybe I will be excused
because I am an outsider. I just want
to learn more.
I had no idea what to expect
when I was getting ready to come
here. I knew that whatever percep-
tions of Bhutan I had would quickly
be proven wrong. Tey have been,
by leaps and bounds.
Bhutan isnt just the roman-
ticised, Himalayan kingdom por-
trayed to Westerners who pay $250
USD a day to visit. Bhutan isnt just
the eco-friendly-organic-happiest-
country-in-the-world. It is a nation,
like so many others, struggling with
alcoholism, domestic violence, drug
abuse, intense modernization, and
a new democratic system of gov-
ernment that the citizens dont fully
understand. It has one leg in the 9th
century, and the other in the 21st.
When 45% of a nations
population is illiterate and many
people speak neither English nor
Dzongkha, the ofcial language,
communication about peoples
rights is difcult. In this tradition-
ally oral and hierarchical society,
it can be nearly impossible to hear
diferent perceptions and opinions,
ofen because elders are respected
and are rarely challenged. Bhutan
is the proprietor of Gross Nation-
al Happiness (GNH). It does not
measure Gross Domestic Product
(GDP), it measures the responsi-
bilities of the government to create
an environment in which citizens
can fnd happiness within them-
selves. It measures things that mat-
ter, regardless if the citizens know
the terms associated with GNH. It
measures the impact of actions, not
unfulflled promises.
Bhutan is facing some pret-
ty big shifs, some that may disrupt
the harmony and unifcation that is
so greatly valued. But as the Dean of
Royal Timphu College said, it is
through difcult challenges that we
get to know ourselves and learn.
To read more about Anna Maries
experiences in Bhutan, check out her
blog: annainbhutan.wordpress.com
THE VIEW FROM HERE: BHUTAN
ANNA MARIE OBERMEIER
Te mans a legend around these
parts; the kids want his autograph
and his peers want to party with
him. Over his four years at Quest,
hes been at the top of his class and
at the top of his conferences na-
tional scoring racehe was 9th
in the country at one point. Hes a
two-time Male Athlete of the Year, a
writer, an entrepreneur and a class-
mate; he is what a student-athlete
should be. I sat down with fourth
year basketball player Jos Colora-
do for what may have been his last
interview before he walks the stage
this Saturday and transitions to life
post-Quest.
Q: What is your Keystone and how
do you see it afecting yourself and
others in the near future?
A: My Keystone is about a small,
entrepreneurial basketball business
that I want to start up in the next
few years. What I propose to do
is diferent from any other devel-
opment program because I would
want to help student-athletes grow
from athletic, academic and career
standpoints. Recently, there have
been an increasing number of pub-
lished reports that say athletes are
irrationally choosing athletics over
academics. Tat being said, I want
to, of course, ... CONT. D1
BEER NATION
JEBEDIAH MCNUTT
Tursday Morning. Neither partic-
ularly dry nor particularly spritz-
ing. We were throwing clothes
into his bag and ravaging through
his foodstufs, while blocking his
groggy objections with the ambiv-
alent force of majority rule. You
see, we needed the whole senate.
For the sake of credibility. Te
President and the Serjeant-at-Arms
had readily joined up as soon as I
mentioned the prospect of smug-
gling sugar and in general. Te
Vice-President wasnt so keenhe
kept muttering something about
plans, but we knew him too well to
pay any mind.
I needed the full force of
his credibility because I was on
assignment to investigate a myth-
ical country, nestled in the under-
ground of Portlands Reed College,
called Beer Nation. Elected lead-
ers enjoy afrming their validity
by afrming the validity of other
elected leaders through something
called treaties. We wanted to
reach quorum, that we might ratify
at a moments notice. Afer several
escape attempts, we had taken him
too far for him to reasonably nav-
igate his own way home. A lacka-
daisical permutation of Stockholm
Syndrome hit him by the border.
By Saturday morning I had
more than a couple mysterious
bruises, and some insights from
a suspected CIA agentyou can
never be too sure.
Continued on D1
GONZO
Although creative perfor-
mance and diverse artistic ventures
are strongly represented in Quest
extracurriculars, Feis theatre
course has thus far been the only
opportunity for students to explore
performance in the classroom.
However, next term will see a sec-
ond opportunity to explore perfor-
mance in the block program.
In December 2014 a course
called Possibilities of Performance,
taught by veteran opera and theatre
director Tim Albery, will examine
the currency of live performance in
an overstimulated modern world.
With easy and inexpensive
access to a range of instantly grat-
ifying media via your smartphone
or computer, should you still fnd
value in live performance? If so,
what about performance is valu-
able? Do visually stimulating new
technologies hinder or enhance the
power of performances? Tese are
the kinds of questions that Alberys
course will explore.
Still in its early stages,
Quest does not yet have a well-
equipped auditorium. However,
Albery plans to make use of this;
performance in the modern set-
ting may require less traditional
theatre spaces, and so teaching
[this course] at Quest, a university
without a proper theatre, makes
perfect sense.
Students enrolled in the
course should expect to work on
multiple projects concurrently,
which will be a catalyst for many
more questions than solutions,
fashes of insight, some late nights,
some spectacular failures, and if
we're lucky one or two moments
that really connect, said Albery.
We will be able to experi-
ment with many diferent ways of
presenting a performance over the
[course], and I hope we come up
with some of our own. Te pos-
sibilities continue to fascinate me
afer years of working in theatre,
and the potential solutions become
more elusive as the technologies
we use in our daily lives become
increasingly sophisticated.
Albery has tailored Possibil-
ities of Performance for a diversity
of collaborative artists including
actors, dancers, choreographers,
directors, photographers, flmmak-
ers, writers, musicians, designers,
and architects. With this sort of
integrated and intimate approach,
this new course has potential to ft
well into Quests academic model.
NEW PERFORMANCE AT QUEST
ALESSANDRO TERSIGNI &
JAKE SMITH
Photo credit: Elise Scribner SPORTS
KEVIN BERNA
Q&8: REFLECTIONS
ON FOUR YEARS
OF THREES
Opera Director Tim Albey
SPORTS
D1 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
CONT. FROM C1 ... develop their
sport-specifc skills, but I also want
to make sure they have other op-
tions. Statistically speaking, almost
no one makes it to the NBA.
Q: In terms of your own athletic de-
velopment, Ill start by asking you
about the thing that most people
know you for: your three-ball. Did an
old coach teach you that? Where did
it come from?
A: I didnt really learn it from any-
body. Maybe my older brothers had
a bit of an infuence, but I really just
taught myself. If youre a basketball
player, you can defnitely tell that
its not a perfect shot. Sometimes I
use my guide hand too much and
theres a lot of sidespin, but with
lots of practice and repetition, it has
worked for me.
Tey gallop like unbroken
steeds along the opponents baseline
during free-throw attempts; fangs,
dripping with remnants of kale
from last nights potluck.
Tey will take the other
teams pride and eat it for breakfast.
Rawlike they eat the hope of those
who dare cheer against their beloved
team. Why? Because raw is sustain-
able, and Mel will recommend a
good recipe. Try to stop their antics,
and they may withdrawbut only
temporarilyto a breakout room
for collaboration on an MLA-refer-
enced argument defending the eth-
ics and social responsibility of their
actions.
At winters sundown on Fri-
day and Saturday nights, they come
from the Squamish mountains.
From the villages. From the rivers
side, and where the creek is swif.
Tey will come, and they will oblit-
erate the concentration of all who
seek the defeat of the Quest Ker-
modes.
Te Kermode Kave is well
known for its ruthless athletic com-
petition, but during the mens na-
tional championship that Quest
recently hosted, teams from all over
Canada were exposed to something
else in our tiny gym. Something
that unleashes terror on all those
who cross its path. I am not talking
about Shook.
What is the beast that I ref-
erence? My fngers tremble as I type
these words. Te bloodthirsty tribe,
the undomesticated cult, who will
hunt you down and destroy your
mental focus until youve not one
lonely ounce of hope lef for victory.
Tey, who will stop at nothing; (s)he
who will not be tamed.
I speak humbly, and with
Sunday Funday had a classy
twist on April 6thhosted in the
MPR with food, speeches, awards,
and, of course, a few inappropriate
jokes.
Student-athletes, family
members, coaching staf and some
faculty members congregated to
honour the athletes who trans-
formed from their regular jersey-
and-cleat attire to dresses, suits and
tiesmaking it difcult for some
parents to recognize their childs
teammates who they only ever see
in game-day attire.
Senior student-athletes
ofen receive the most honours
during their fnal athletic banquet.
Tis year, however, the fourth-years
proved especially deserving of every
accolade they were awarded.
Fan favourite Jos Colora-
do took home three awards on this
special night. His coach Sean Shook
presented him with the teams Most
Valuable Player award; the Male Ac-
ademic Athlete of the Year award,
for student-athlete with the high-
est GPA; and fnally, the prestigious
Male Athlete of the Year award for
multidisciplinary contributions to
the Quest community. Colorados
third-year teammate, Dylan Kular,
received the Coachs award for out-
standing team contribution. Even
afer a severe hand injury prompted
Kular to scrap the year and become
an assistant coach, his unwavering
positive attitude earned the respect
of teammates and staf alike. Den-
zel Laguerta took home the teams
Leadership award.
Joining Colorado on stage
to receive the Female Academic
Athlete of the Year award was fel-
low graduating basketball senior,
Cynthia Lau. Te womens bas-
ketball head coach Dany Charlery
ATHELETE FAREWELL KERMODE KRAZIES GET WILD
great respect, of the Kermode Kra-
zies.
At nationals, teams came
expecting to compete against the
best athletes in Canada, but what
they didnt expect to compete with
was the ferocity of the student-fans:
hailed by Quest for their merciless
dedication and feral cheering ten-
dencies. Fans who had the tourna-
ments online commentators howl-
ing with laughter, who had viewers
across Canada extremely jealous
that fans from their university are
never that awesome.
Several of these Krazies
were even ofered food or mone-
tary compensation to attend other
teams games to unleash their cheer-
ing support. But if you understand
the inherent nature of the Kermode
Krazies, you will understand that
loyalty to Quest runs deep in their
veins, making bribery a futile cause.
Te Krazies are so krazy that
applauding politely and wearing
green isnt krazy enough for them.
Tey attend games wearing tribal
body paint to catch the attention of
the opposing point guard, if only
for a moments time, to grant their
Quest player a chance of stealing the
ball. A Krazy will take it upon his or
herself to sacrifce personal dignity,
by gyrating in a brightly-coloured
transformer costume and famboy-
ant red boa, to throw the other team
of their game.
Tree lessons in particular
have arisen from the exposure of
Quest hosting nationals. First, that
the mens basketball team is a talent-
ed force to be reckoned with; sec-
ond, the Kermode Kave is no place
to be if you sufer from headaches
or anxiety in loud crowds; third,
that Quest fans are, indisputably,
the best fans in Canada. For this,
the athletic department at Quest is
extremely grateful.
Appreciation for the nations best fans
HILLARY YOUNG
KEVIN BERNA &
HILLARY YOUNG
also presented Lau with her teams
Leadership award following their
banner-winning season. Laus third-
year teammate, Katrin Sandbichler,
took home the teams Most Valuable
Player award as well as the Female
Athlete of the Year title. Shayna
Cameron earned Coachs award
honours for her summers spent
training tirelessly on campus.
With a silver medal at pro-
vincials, the womens soccer team
also had its best fnish in program
history. Senior Gellie Raguin-Licas
played a major role in this accom-
plishment and was presented with
the Coachs award by Craig Smith
for exhibiting the most personal
growth on and of the pitch. Bri-
anna Powrie was named the teams
Most Valuable Player, and Tianna
Gilchrist was presented with the
Leadership award.
Although they were the butt
of many a joke on this night, the
mens soccer players deserved their
awards just as much as any of the
other student-athletes. Te charis-
matic Charles Impey received the
Coachs award for his ofen delu-
sional commitment to the game,
and third-year Benjamin Schager
tied Colorado in grade point aver-
age resulting in two Male Academic
Athletes of the Year. Schager also ac-
cepted the Leadership award, while
freshman Zach Roberts-Winter was
the team Most Valuable Player.
Te celebratory night wit-
nessed a record high number of
student-athletes earning Academic
Achievement awards for earning a
grade point average of 3.0 or great-
er. Anticipation is high for next sea-
son, and we wish our graduating
student-athletes all the best in their
post-Quest endeavours.
Q: What do you think your most
meaningful contribution to the Quest
community outside of basketball has
been?
A: I think it would probably be this
past semester when I took my Race
& Ethnicity class and I wrote that
article regarding the racial diversity
of staf members in the Mark news-
paper. Im proud of that because af-
ter it was published, students from a
variety of cultural backgrounds told
me that it was something that they
had been thinking about, but did
not feel strong enoughfor whatev-
er reasonto express it themselves.
So Im happy I was able to give at-
tention to this important subject.

Q: About this years team, what do
you think was so diferent?
A: Talent. We just simply had more
talent than ever before. I honestly
think that we have the same talent
as programs like Langarathe na-
tional championsbut there needs
to be a winning culture and a belief
in our system alongside that talent.
Quest student-athletes need to have
talent and character. Obviously we
had better players this year with
Cartiea French-Toney and Shedrick
Nelson, but, at the same time, a lot
of peoplenot necessarily myself
think they bailed on the school and
team.

Q: Youre talking about this recruit-
ment mentality that all Quest Ath-
letics programs need to have in order
to be successful. Do you think that
youre the one who set this standard
for not only your team, but the other
three as well?
A: In terms of having basketball
Q&8: REFLECTIONS ON FOUR YEARS OF THREES
KEVIN BERNA
talent, I wouldnt say Im the per-
son to build a team around. I mean,
Im pretty much a one-dimensional
playerI score. I dont do much else.
But if youre asking if I am the right
type of player to build with? Yes. I
always respected coach. I respected
the Quest system. I respected being
a student-athlete. I never tried to
milk any privileges from being [a
student-athlete] like so many others
have. I excelled on and of the court
unlike any other student-athlete in
school historymale or female. If
youre trying to set the foundation
for what an athletic program should
stand for in the years to comenot
even just the mens basketball pro-
gramthen I feel like I should be
rewarded for my commitment to the
true meaning of a student-athlete.
My jersey should be retired#8 to
the rafers.
GONZO
G1 || THE MARK
MONDAY APRIL 21st, 2014
From the unmistakable
sweet smell, I knew that the person
in bed with me was an old friend,
certainly not a member of the Sen-
ate. I reckoned they were collected
in some other room.
Or at the far end of the
city. As it turns out they were
bunkered in the Shoemaker man-
sion, a 150-year-old abode, built
on a clamp-, onion-, and home-
brew-stocked workshop carved
into Rip Citys ffh quadrant. On
Tursday night we had mangled a
shit-shooting powwow into a full-
blown explosion in a downstairs
study there. You understand. We
had been overstimulated by Ameri-
can beer prices.
Friday we had had a meet-
ing with an entrepreneurial cofee
entrepreneur near his machine
workshop in a bar with a beer-
choice-to-window ratio in the hun-
dreds. He wove tales of mysterious
women who shared names and
histories but not faces. Eventually
our President had wandered of,
announcing the de facto end of the
meeting.
Our second meeting of the
day had been with my attorney
who, through his Portland connec-
tions, had discovered the general
region of Beer Nation. Upon arriv-
al, it had been clear that this nation
was real; it was no El Dorado. Te
mirages wouldnt come until later.
With a modest bribe, we were in.
We waded through a high-fence-
bordered jungle of heat lamps and
into a thronging room of people.
Tey bore suspicious glances,
and their suspicions were readily
confrmed by our tripping over a
variety of low chairs and tables.
Te frst mirage had
cleared: when we reached the far
end of the crowd of proud haircuts
and piercings, it was clear that
there wasnt a drop of beer to be
found. Just wine, and a little cider.
Te second mirage had too: the
whole region (or at least this out-
post) was managed by a childhood
friend of mine who once threw a
rock at me for ridiculing a peers
Republicanism. Clearly, he and I
share a karass. Tis was closer to
home than I could have expected.
It took less than 15 minutes
of free-fowing wine to realize that
I would not be making it to our
10pm meeting with a food chemist.
Tey would have to meet quorum
without me. Afer a lengthy con-
sultation with the visibly annoyed
President, the meeting had been
cancelled and our night set free to
drif, dropping eventual anchor at
my attorneys place. Within min-
utes of our arrival, he had retreated
to his room and generally opted for
unconsciousness. But others were
still about the house.
Borrowing his guitar
and rummaging up a banjo, we
had misleadingly told the objec-
tive truth that we were a touring
band from Canada, and stoked
up a proper fre in the corner of a
couch-laden room. By the dozenth
or so rendition of Wagon Wheel
from our Serjeant, sung to the clas-
sic tune of whatever-have-you, love
at frst sight had in varying degrees
stricken all of us but the Vice-Pres-
ident. We are romantics. But the
President had been shrewd with his
love. He had fallen for a member of
Reeds Student Senatethe pur-
ported bank-rollers of Beer Nation.
But time had been painting
from an unpredictable easel on the
quilt the fates wove for us that eve-
ning. A lovely old karass-mate from
a crevice of my past had turned out
to be more or less in the neighbor-
hood and mobile. She had come to
join. Eventually, she had worked
consent like a quill.
Being that it was Saturday
morning, I knew where to fnd
drumming. If you havent been to
the Portland Sunday market, evan-
gelists and all, then go. Dodge the
quicksand-booths and fried food.
Focus. Find the oldest merchant
there--selling paintings. Tell him I
sent you. Buy and use his shocking-
ly cheap masterfully individually
hand-painted cards for everything.
Precipitously, the Senate
drafed a memorandum of under-
standing for a rendez-vous down-
town, given the regions Venn-di-
agramming with the various fve
quadrants. Tere I ran into my
father who, in a perfect cyclical-
ly-shifed rhythmic syncopation,
was in town from Seattle to meet
up with his dear friend whose
name I frequently confated when
younger (Dave was much like Paul
to me then).
On our way down to Port-
land, in a natural spring, I was
nestled in the back seat. To my
right was a woman who we had
convinced to join us, and who I still
think of daily (we later deposited
at a home she claimed was hers but
that our Serjeant keenly suspected
was her lovers, given her disorien-
tation in the neighborhood, before
losing her until Squamish). On my
lef, the Serjeant reminded of his
knack for speaking contrasts into
conversation. He asked: What IS a
champagne supernova?
My Socratic respons-
esDo you know what cham-
pagne is?Do you know what a
supernova is? Well there you
go then.were enough to placate
him.
So imagine my surprise
when on the thirty-somethingth
foor of the U.S. Bankcorp Tow-
er, interior construction project
and all, as the sun was setting (my
father had helped me wait out the
afernoon, as Dave/Paul napped,
by taking me to a food-court-on-
wheels where I introduced him
to my favorite Transylvanian dish
and where we watched a protec-
tion racket do their work) the bar
served me their opinion on the
matter over a bass line played on
the inside of a piano by a blind
mans lef hand. Champagne su-
pernovas are a concrete idea in Rip
City.
A shitty, sweet, pink, made-
with-sparkling-wine-not-cham-
pagne, concrete idea.
Tat matter settled, we de-
verticalized and I introduced Paul
and Kevin to the Senate. Together,
we refected. But not for too long.
Te Senate had to trust its hanker-
ing for momentum to get the bi-
cycle of our evening balanced. We
did what is done in this situation.
We launched an investigation into
girls by the names of the ones we
had met the night previously. One
in particular: the Presidents love.
Being that not a word, let alone a
name, had passed between them,
we had some real investigation to
pursue. It is indeed fortunate that
challenges aid rather than suppress
worthwhile inquiry.
By the time we tracked her
down she was in the process of
getting the hell out of dodge. Given
the political climate at Reed, the
entirety of their Senate (she being
a Senator) was headed to a large
cabin, sauna and all, on snow-blan-
keted Mt. Hood. Obviously, infl-
tration was imperative.
We staked our base camp,
mulled wine and all, in a nearby
cabin built for reasons involving
government workers, implements
of destruction, and large cash
transactions. Ten, we plotted.
Having introduced ourselves to
and joined up with the entirety of
Reeds frst sorority, we had all the
makings for a Trojan horse. Afer
repeated attempts at making con-
tact purportedly impeded by elec-
trical reasons and not social ones,
we struck out on foot. No town is
too large for curious perseverance.
Operating on intelligence which
survived at least several months of
sorority-level drinking, we tracked
down the large cabin, sauna and all.
We were greeted by sur-
prised looks and towel-cladness.
By some smile of the gods I had
some ofcial documentation with
me that mentioned my credentials
as an ambassador. It held enough
water to convince them that our
whole Senate was an elected stu-
dent body.
Presenting them with the
proverbial olive branch and the
literal peace wine, we stated our
nominal intentions as concisely
and nimbly as possible. Responsi-
ble and hard-working governments
do research. Tat was our only
interest. Leveraging this, and the
love between the President and the
Senator, we passed their snif-test.
Within half an hour, we had
half a dozen or so of them corralled
in our base camp, speaking to us
as if we were conspirators. In the
end, the President didnt say a word
to her, and I made no headway on
the Beer Nation conversation; their
lips werent particularly sealed. I
asked many questions. Was it a
business, political organization,
cult, do-gooder association, or
legitimate break-of nation? Was it
limited to just wine (beer being a
counter-intelligence name choice),
or did it include beer? Hard alco-
hols? Illicit substances? I remember
no answers. Distraction reigned.
You understand: everyone was so
happily singing along.
When they lef to return to
their large cabin, towels and peace
wine and olive branch and sauna
and all, we, that is to say, I, got into
an argument over something or
other with the sorority. Te argu-
ment embered, then kindled, then
raged. Graceless, hazy, I plowed on.
By the time sleep came, no-one was
on speaking terms.
Sunday morning. Tey lef
frst and earlier. We stayed, stewing
in a preemptive nostalgia. By the
time we got into the car, loaded up
with our sticky recyclables and our
slightly-more-banged-up-than-be-
fore instruments, we were thirsting
for Squamish waters to wash of the
rubber-tramp dust.
No clarity, beyond the
uncomparable transparency of di-
rect experience, had been shed on
Beer Nation. But we still had our
secondary mission. Within some
number of minutes of returning to
Portland we had serious momen-
tum: the misbehaving recycling
machine was tamed; implements of
destruction were generally gathered
up; decisions pertaining to the ac-
cumulation of the Presidential feet
had been more or less sorted out; a
one-way through-the-car-window
confusion game had been inaugu-
rated; eating had been done; the
sugar connection had been visited
and the sugar attained.
Having collected each other
and ourselves, and chocolate chip
cookies and a broken chainsaw, we
had only a post-catharsis drive and
our main task ahead of us. Getting
through customs would require
cunning, precision, focus, and a
secret ingredient. Naturally, it went
of without a hitch.
Journalism is a science. And
the scientists among my consul-
tants have ofen complained to me
of the tragedy of omission: null
results are notoriously under-re-
ported. I refuse to participate in
that practice. I only hope that you
might learn from my failures. Beer
Nation is as mysterious as ever.
BEER NATION (CONT.)
JEBEDIAH MCNUTT