Chapter 7

Emotional Messages
1. Which factors influence emotions? Briefly discuss each factor and give example.
Emotions are influenced by body mind and culture. Bodily reactions are aspect of
emotional experience. They span a wide range and are observed quite easily when you
judge peoples emotions, e.g. the sweating palms that accompany nervousness, the
gestures such as playing with your hair or touching your face that goes with discomfort.
The mental part of emotional experience involves the evaluations and interpretations you
make on the basis of what you experience. The evaluations of what happens have greater
influence on your feeling than what actually happened. or example, your best friend
ignores you in college cafeteria. !our emotions will depend on what you think this behaviour
means. !ou may feel pity if you figure out that she is sad because she had bad mark for her
assignment, but you may feel anger if you believe that she is simply rude on purpose, or
you may feel sadness if you believe that she is no longer interested being your friend.
The culture you live in gives you framework for both expressing feelings and interpreting the
emotions of others. or example, the culture influences of students feelings. "sian students
make no comments or ask no questions during the lecture time. #ecturers may feel that the
students were bored and uninterested, however, they show respect by being quiet.
!. Briefly explain ho" emotions can be communicated.
Emotions are communicated in both verbal and nonverbal way. !our words, the emphasis
you give them, and the gestures and facial expressions that accompany them all help to
communicate your feelings. !ou decode the emotional messages of other on basis of both
verbal and non$verbal cues. Emotional messages are most effectively communicated when
verbal and nonverbal messages reinforce and complement each other.
#. Why fear and lac$ing of interpersonal s$ills are obstacles to effective emotional
communication.
ear of hurting yourself or others may stop you to express your feelings.
!ou may avoid revealing your emotions for fear of causing a conflict. %ecause of fears, you
may deny to others and even to yourself that you have certain feelings.
"nother obstacle to effective emotional communication is lack of interpersonal skills. &any
people dont know how to express their feelings, especially negative feelings. 'ue to its
difficulty, many people suppress or fail to communicate negative feelings for fear of
offending the other person or making matter worse. ailing to express negative feelings will
not help the relationships over a long time.
%oth communicating your emotions and responding appropriately to the emotional
expressions of others are very important. "dequate interpersonal skills will help your
emotions to be expressed effectively( effective emotional expression can lead to a closer
and more meaningful relationship.
%. What s$ills you need to posses "hen you decide to express your emotions?
)nderstand what you are feeling and what make you feel this way*
ormulate a communication goal( what exactly do you want to accomplish when
expressing emotions
+dentify your communication choices and evaluate them
'escribe your feelings as accurately as possible*
+dentify the reasons you are feeling as you are( be as specific as possible.
"nchor your feelings and their expression in the present time.
,wn your own feelings using +$messages.
-andle your anger as appropriate.
&. 'dentify s$ills for listening and responding to the emotions of others.
#ook for cues to understand the persons feelings.
#isten for what is said and not said.
#ook at the nonverbal cues, especially those that dont match the verbals.
#ook for cues as to what the person wants you to do. 'ont assume that they want you to
solve their problem when all the person wants is for someone to listen.
)se active listening techniques.
.araphrase the speaker.
Express your understanding of the speakers feelings.
"sk appropriate questions.
/ee the situation from other perspective. "sk yourself what the other person may feel.
ocus on other person. "void interpreting the situation from your own experience.
0emember the irreversibility of communication. ,nce you say something, you wont be able
to take it back from the mind of the other person.
Conversational Messages
(. Briefly identify &steps of conversation process.
1. ,pening $ conversations usually started with some kind of greeting or cheering
messages. These messages establish a connection between two people.
2. eedforward $ previews the major part of the conversations focus. ,ften we
combine the feedforward with the opening to*
open the channels of communication
preview content of the message
ensure that the message will be understood and will not reflect negatively on
you 3disclaim4
place the receivers in a specific role and request responses from them
5. %usiness $ the reason for conversation, to fulfil one or several of the general
purposes of interpersonal communication e.g.
to learn
to relate
to influence
to play
to help
6. eedback $ summari7es or reflex back on the conversation. eedback can be*
positive or negative
focus on person or on content of the message
sent immediately after the message is received
spontaneous or carefully constructive designed to serve specific purposes
supportive or critical
8. 9losing $ ending the conversation or schedule future conversations.
7. When the grapevine is used in organisational conversation?
The grapevine addresses topics that you want to discuss in a more interpersonal setting,
such as issues that are not yet made public. The grapevine is used in organisational
conversation when issues are considered important to the worker. There is ambiguity or
uncertainty about what an organisation is going to do, for example. " situation is perceived
as threatening or insecure( an anxiety maybe running high.
). What should be considered "hen ma$ing choice "hether or not to disclose
conversational messages? What factors influence self*disclosure?
,ne of the most important forms of interpersonal communication that you can engage in is
self$disclose. /elf$disclose is taking about yourself to others( revealing information which is
usually hidden about yourself. +t may involve information about your values, your beliefs,
and desires( your behaviours( or yourself : qualities or characteristics. ;hen making
choices about whether or not to self$disclose, you should consider both rewards and
dangers of self$disclose, and the irreversible nature of communication.
0ewards of self$disclose*
self$disclose helps you gain greater self$knowledge( deeper understanding about
yourself, strengthen your self$concept
self$disclose helps you achieve a closer relationship and increase relationship
satisfaction because it helps you understand what another person likes or dislike
self$disclose has a positive effect on physiological health, e.g. people will feel less hurt
when sharing grief with others than bearing alone
'angers of self$disclose*
you may experience rejection from others when you reveal about yourself
total self$disclosure may threaten relationship by causing a decrease in mutual
attraction, trust e.g. crimes, lies, hidden weaknesses and fears from the past
self$disclosure may create problems on the job
+nfluences on self$disclose<
.ersonality* people who are highly sociable, apprehensive about talking, self disclose
more than people who are less sociable
9ulture* people in different cultures will view self$disclosure differently e.g. people in the
)nited /tates disclose more than do those in =reat %ritain
=ender* women disclose more than men do
#isteners* you disclose on the basis of support you receive, you disclose to people you
like and people you trust and love
Topic* you are more likely to self$disclose about some topics than others, e.g. you are
more likely to talk about your job or hobbies rather than your financial situation
+. ,o" are excuses used for repairing conversation problem? -istinguish bet"een
good excuses and bad excuses?
Excuses are explanations or actions that are designed to lessen the negative impact of a
speakers messages. .eople excuse maintaining self$esteem, to project a positive image to
their selves and to others. Excuses may enable you to maintain effective interpersonal
relationships even after some negative behaviour.
!ou can*
deny that you have done what you are being accused of, or accuse some another
person. +f you can demonstrate that you had no control over what happened and
therefore cannot be held responsible, the excuse is likely persuasive
admit to do it but claim that the offensive was not really so bad
claim that you werent in control of yourself at the time or didnt intend to do what you did
=ood excuses are when people*
use excuses in moderation
avoid blaming others
dont attribute their failures to others
take some responsibility for their failures
%ad excuses are when people*
rely on excuses too often
blaming others
attribute their failures to others
refuse to accept any responsibility
1.. ,o" an apology can be used as repairing conversational problems? /ive some
suggestions for effective apologies.
"pology is an expression of regret for something you did. The apology includes some
admission of wrongdoing by direct admission or implication. "pologies help repair
relationship and repair reputation of doing the wrong things.
To make an apology effectively people should*
admit the wrong thing they did
accept responsibility, dont try to blame others
be apologetic
state in specific
express understanding of how other person feels
offer solution to correct problem
give assurance that this will not happen again
To make an apology effectively people should not*
apologise when it isnt necessary
justify their behaviour by assuming that everyone does the same thing
accuse others of contributing to the problem
minimi7e the consequences
include an excuse with an apology
apology through email