ALLOCUTION OF JAMIE ESTRADA

October 8, 2014
As prepared for delivery
Your honor:
While this is not the first time Ive appeared in your courtroom, it is my first opportunity to
address the court. It is my hope that as I begin my allocution that you receive my words with
the full honesty and sincerity I feel.
First and foremost, I accept full responsibility and the consequences for my actions. I have
pled guilty to intercepting electronic communications and being dishonest about it. I stand
here today to publicly state that my indulgent behavior and a lack of self-control to access an
expired web domain account were the root causes for my involvement in this. I invaded the
privacy of the parties to the emails, and I am remorseful. I do deeply apologize to Governor
Martinez and all of the other people whose private emails I intercepted. I ask for their
forgiveness. I also regret and am remorseful about giving false statements to law
enforcement. As someone who once held a presidential appointment with a top-secret
security clearance and who represented our country here and abroad, the fact that I did this
weighs very heavily upon me. In fact, every time I see a document that says, United States
of America vs. Jamie Estrada it pains me deeply especially as the son of a veteran and
retired civil servant and spouse of another civil servant. I am certainly not proud of any of
this behavior, and I certainly will not ever do anything like this ever again.
Your Honor, I hope that you have had an opportunity to read the dozens of letters that my
friends, family and former colleagues have written on behalf to attest to my true character.
You may have noticed a theme that what I did was completely out of character for me.
Though supportive, some of these letters reflected shock and disappointment in me. Reading
the letters myself has caused me to deeply reflect how I went down the wrong path, and what
it is in my character that I need to confront and work on so that I never make a mistake like
this again.
In July of 2011, I reactivated a web domain that had expired and took advantage of the fact
that the login credentials that I possessed had not been changed after I supplied them to the
Governors campaign in June of 2010. Although I did not cause the web domain to expire, I
took full advantage of information that I possessed to revive it.
It wasnt a decision I made in the heat of passion; in fact, I deliberated over it for 9 days after
I realized that the domain was dead. Nevertheless, by that 9
th
day, I bowed to temptation and
took control of the domain. At the time, I knew I was not authorized to access the domain
account, but I did it anyway, convincing myself that the ends justified the means. It was, of
course, just plain wrong for me to use the information I had.
I never stopped to think about the full context of my actions and the potential consequences
should the other private emails become public. And because of that, Im here before you
today, guilty and convicted of intercepting those emails and passing them to the governors
political opponents. I never thought about others who could be impacted by this and for
this, I am again truly sorry.
I know that there are consequences for my actions, which is why I stand before you today for
sentencing. I am aware that Im exposed to incarceration, but Id like to ask you, Judge
Johnson, for mercy and compassion for my family. My actions have already hurt many, and
what I face today at sentencing may have life or death consequences. This is my main
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concern; the pair of felony convictions on my record and the consequences that go along with
that weighs extremely heavy on me as well, but I cant dismiss the fact that my brothers life
is dependent on whether or not I am around to assist. As for my personal near-term future,
the felonies I carry are now a part of me a scar that will remind others and me of what I did.
I will have to work very hard to earn back the trust once given to me by society.
This being said, I beg for your mercy today in order to allow me to continue in my role as the
primary health care agent for my oldest brother, Stephen.
As you are aware through our filings and the letters of support, my brother, Stephen, is dying
from a non-alcoholic, end-stage liver disease and needs a transplant in the next few months,
should one even become available. He was diagnosed in February 2013, just as my own legal
issues were developing. Liver disease is a quiet killer and its likely a disease he has had for
at least 10 years. Due to the intense publicity surrounding my case, Ive learned that those
who comment on social media sites have made some distasteful suppositions about the cause
of his condition, so I feel I should explain that his disease is of an unknown cause. His
reputation shouldnt have to suffer because of mine.
The only family Stephen really has is my father and his siblings. Since his condition
worsened this past year, Ive spearheaded the efforts to help him get the transplant he
deserves. For now, hes living under my fathers roof in Las Cruces because of the
relationship between his doctor in El Paso and the transplant center he is listed at in Houston.
Unfortunately, there is not a liver transplant option in New Mexico, and at this time, this is
the best we can do from a physical location standpoint.
Nonetheless, I have led every single healthcare decision for Stephen, and because his liver
disease impairs his brain function, I am THE singular point of contact between his doctors in
Houston, El Paso, and Phoenix. This includes the coordination of doctor and laboratory
appointments, discussions with the transplant centers, taking the mandatory care giver
classes, and making sure the numerous doctors my brother needs to see not only have the
right laboratory work in their hands, but to also explain what the other doctors have said and
decided to go forward with.
To receive a transplant, the transplant center requires that the patient have a reliable caregiver
to attend to the patients needs in the months before and after the surgery.
I am Stephens most reliable caregiver. My father, at age 81, does what he can, but his
abilities are limited. My father has had four neurosurgeries in just the last year that have left
him in chronic pain and numbness in his hands and wrists. He doesnt sleep well,
experiences occasional dizziness, has trouble opening prescription bottles, doesnt cook his
own food and has his share of senior moments. Unfortunately, he cannot provide 24/7 care
for a transplant patient because he himself requires supervision. I dont believe he could take
my place in managing roughly 20 post-transplant anti-rejection drugs that must be taken on a
strict schedule as well as physically assisting an adult man after major surgery.
Stephens condition will worsen, and when it does, it will worsen quickly. In just the last
month, he has considerably worsened. This means there will be more frequent medical
episodes and hospitalizations. We all know this because my father, brother and I cared for
our mother in 2009 until her death in 2010 from the very same liver disease that afflicts
Stephen. Her advanced age limited our options to save her life, but we have a different
opportunity for Stephen.
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Therefore, Your Honor, I kindly ask that you consider the primary role I play for my family in
working aggressively to save Stephens life. At this time, we do not have a viable Plan B for
Stephen should I not be available to him on a daily basis.
Your honor, my role as my brothers caregiver is the one I am most concerned with but that
does not mean I take lightly the life-long circumstances that the felonies have on my future.
The indictment itself began a cascade of negative consequences for my life.
Although I have worked every day since I was 19, I have not worked since I was indicted. I
am viewed amongst the business sector and political classes in New Mexico as a pariah. My
days of working in the field I had my most experience in are over. Associating with me is
more trouble than its worth for most companies or organizations. Upon my indictment, I
was even forced to resign from the board of local animal rescue organization that does a lot
of good work in an area I am passionate about.
As a convicted felon, the career I worked hard for, and was passionate for, is in ruins. Ill
never hold another position in public service. For any job I apply for, I now have to check
infamous the have you ever been convicted? box and will need to rely on the hope that
someone out there might give me a chance.
As it stands today, I am simply someone that no one wants to associate with, besides my
family and the few friends that I have managed to keep. Im not simply disliked. I am hated,
and thats something that is very difficult to accept. My behavior in this situation and what
people think of it frames my identity, at least for now. All of my career accomplishments
wont ever outweigh my criminal record in eyes of most people or potential employers.
My felony convictions have punished me harshly and I, along with my family, will continue
to experience the consequences of these convictions for the rest of my life.
As I close, I know you would want to know how the events of the last 3 years have changed
me as a person. First, Ive been humbled, brought down to earth in a hard fall from grace.
Once viewed positively in the public eye, I am no longer. Each day, I struggle with the
shame and dishonor that I have brought upon myself. It is through my faith, and the weekly
discussions with my church, that I have learned how to deal with my character flaws.
Rather than toil in bitterness and anger that I once held, Ive learned about forgiveness, both
asking for and receiving.
Had I really practiced Jesus commandment to forgive and love your enemies, it would have
prevented me from going down the self-indulgent road I was on. Im not on that road
anymore and for the rest of my life, Ill be reminded of the earthly consequences of failing to
forgive and of not letting go.
This entire situation has made me look at my moral compass and where it was pointing. It
was pointing in the wrong direction, and I have now reset that in the direction it needs to be
in.
I have changed dramatically with this situation. I pray daily and give thanks for being able to
still make positive marks in society, I give thanks for my family and friends who have
supported me through this, and pray that one day those I hurt will eventually accept my
apologies and forgive me. As a focal point for our future together, my wife and I hold on to
what the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 5:3-4, and it states, Not only so, but we also glory in
our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance
character, and character hope.
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My work in politics has ended forever, and I accept that. I was good at understanding and
conversing about policy, but politics was not what I was put on this earth for. It is my hope to
use my skills in other areas that better serve society. Perhaps its helping to promote better
health care in our state and country, increase organ donations, or other things that are now
close to my heart.
I am a changed man and I work daily to be a better husband, brother, friend and member of
society.
I believe that no matter what happens, God has promised me a prosperous future (Jer 29:11).
I also believe that God has begun a good work in me and that he will be faithful to complete
it. (Phil 1:6).
Thank you again for the opportunity to address you today.
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