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A Sample: Statement of Purpose

Published On: 11 Sep 2012


Please describe your aptitude and motivation for graduate study in your
area of specialization, including your preparation for this feld of study,
your academic plans or research interests in your chosen area of study,
and your future career goals. Please be specifc about why U !er"eley
would be a good intellectual ft for you.
The writer of the statement below was admitted into UC Berkeley's History
Department. ith her permission! her essay is reprinted by the admission
"ommittee with a "ommentary abo#t why it works as a winnin$ essay.
"Luscious fare is the jewel of inordinate desires,"
1
cautions
2
the author of The
Gentlewoman's Comanion !1"#$%, one of man& earl& modern conduct boo's (
sur)e&ed this ast &ear for an honors thesis entitled "'Chaste, *ilent, and +un,r&':
The Problem of -emale .etite in /arl& 0odern /n,land, 111231#224"
$
.s
indicated b& the title, this roject e5lores a ro)ocati)e but as of &et scarcel&
studied facet of earl& modern ,ender constructions: female food desire4
6
( use the
word "desire" here rather deliberatel&, as earl& modern de7nitions of aetite
e5tended well be&ond the h&siolo,ical dri)e to eat to encomass all those h&sical
!and shameful% lon,in,s associated with the bod&4 .nd, in a culture where women
were b& de7nition immoderate and sensual, female food aetite, ( ar,ue,
constituted an unrul&
1
desire that demanded both social and moral disciline4 (n
brief, m& research concerns the atriarchal control of women's bodies in si5teenth
and se)enteenth3centur& /n,land )is3 3)is a cultural idea about food desire and
satiation as su,,esti)e and immodest4
"
(n lieu of a formal introduction of m& research interests and asirations ( o8er a
summar& of m& senior thesis, which earned me the 222$ Chancellor's .ward for
/5cellence in 9nder,raduate :esearch at the 9ni)ersit& of California, ;a)is4
#
This
7rst )enture into serious historical scholarshi has a<rmed m& assion for earl&
modern culture and histor&= and it has ,i)en me the con7dence to assert and
contest m& oinions re,ardin, the status of women in earl& modern /uroe and the
current state of earl& modern historio,rah&4
>
Continuin, alon, these a)enues of
research in ,raduate school, ( would li'e to use m& thesis as the basis for a future
dissertation4 Thou,h ( remain war& about committin, m&self rematurel& to a
seci7c toic of research, ( am also ea,er to elaborate, modif&, and comlicate
?
m&
ori,inal assertions about the nature of the "roblem" of female aetite in earl&
modern /n,land4 (ndeed, man& of the conclusions reached in the thesis, such as m&
claim that the cultural erotici@ation of feminine aetite in earl& modern /n,land
betra&ed a dee3seated masculine mistrust of female se5ualit& and se5ual ower,
ser)e as startin, oints
12
for future research and stud&4
On a more basic le)el, writin, a thesis ,a)e me the chance to become better
acAuainted with the essentials of historical research4 *usectin, that normati)e
discourses in earl& modern /n,land articiated a,,ressi)el& in the monitorin, of
women's aetites, ( na)i,ated the sea of earl& /n,lish rinted sources in ursuit of
the sli,htest mention of food and diet4 Those sources ( encountered durin, m&
research, which ran,ed from the oular conduct boo', The /ducation of a Christian
Boman b& Cuan Luis Di)es, to the anon&mous se5 manual, .ristotle's
0asteriece, challen,ed m& basic understandin, of histor& and the ori,inal remise
of m& thesis in wa&s not anticiated4 -rom deciherin, esoteric t&e3fonts to
de)eloin, an awareness of the imortance of time and funds, ( e5erienced the
mundane realities of research that ine)itabl& stunt the historian's asirations4 /)en
more imortant was m& ,radual accetance of the fact that earl& modern sources,
no matter how we read them, do not alwa&s accommodate modern biases and
e5ectations4
11
Thou,h ( cannot redict the course this roject mi,ht ta'e in ,raduate school, (
e5ect that it will address the followin, themes and issues4 -irst is the o)erarchin,
issue of distin,uishin, the henomena ( obser)e from other forms of food restriction
and obsession, namel& the modern ritual of dietin, and its most e5treme
manifestation, an eatin, disorder4 Thou,h not willin, to e)ade those comlicated
!and contro)ersial% arallels between modern and earl& modern usa,es of food and
food s&mbolism to control the li)es of women, ( also wish to o8er as an historian a
nuanced ortra&al of how earl& modern concetuali@ations of female aetite were
infused with contemorar&, historicall& contin,ent notions of se5ualit& and ,ender4
-urthermore, the Auestion of female a,enc& in a roject de)oted almost e5clusi)el&
to male rescritions for diet and beha)ior demands further discussion4 .dmittedl&,
on more than one occasion, m& own e5tensi)e use and anal&sis of conduct boo's
and )arious obstetric manuals, wor's comosed rimaril& b& educated men, caused
me to ause and wonder whether it was best to relate a histor& about women's
actions or the atriarchal aaratus under which those actions were oressed4
Bhile ( refuse to see women as siml& assi)e recetacles of masculine command, (
neither wish nor asire to focus solel& on their achie)ements= for, in m& mind, the
histor& of women and the histor& of atriarch& are ine5tricabl& related4
12
0& ,oal,
then, will not be to detail just another e5amle of how women in histor& were
dominated b& men, but, rather, to interro,ate the means, in this case food, or,
better &et, the cultural meanin, of aetite, b& which women's desires were
suressed or denied4
1$
(ndeed ( am roud of m& thesis and, ,i)en e5tra time, could sa& much more4 Eut (
should also stress that that at the heart of m& seci7c research concentration lies a
more ,eneral interest in earl& modern /uroean histor&, cultural and women's
histor& to be more e5act4
16
To date, m& 'nowled,e of the earl& modern eriod has
been informed and m& ima,ination sustained b& an arra& of courses on earl&
modern histor& and literature !( was a joint histor& and /n,lish major%, includin, a
,raduate seminar on :enaissance urban culture tau,ht jointl& b& Professors
0ar,aret -er,uson and ;eborah +ar'ness4 0& ersonal enchant for cultural
histor& stems lar,el&, ( belie)e, from m& trainin, in literature and literar& criticism,
where sensiti)it& to the imortance of lan,ua,e and metahor is a necessar& s'ill4
.lso of crucial imortance to a rofessional career in histor& are m& ,rowin, s'ills in
Latin and -rench, and m& Fuenc& in *anish4
11
This &ear ( 7nd m&self in that di<cult and frustratin, transitional eriod between
under,raduate and ,raduate studies4 Thou,h ( would ha)e referred to directl&
continue ,raduate school after ,raduation, ( oted to ta'e a &ear o84 . &ear awa&
from school, ( reasoned, would a8ord me the time needed to recuerate from an
e5hausti)e under,raduate education, ,ain some ersecti)e, and wor' on ful7llin,
the lan,ua,e reAuirement for a doctorate in /uroean histor&4 (n fact, ( am currentl&
enrolled in a -rench course at a nearb& uni)ersit& and lan to ta'e a subseAuent
course durin, the ucomin, srin, semester4 This academic hiatus, moreo)er, has
imosed some much3needed distance between m&self and m& thesis, which ( can
now reread from a more critical, less (n)ested stance4 .nd, 7nall&, a brea' from
school has ,i)en me su<cient time to search and research for ,raduate ro,rams
that best suit m& needs4
1"
9C Eer'ele&'s histor& ro,ram looms lar,e in m& mind, lar,el& because of its
outstandin, facult& and interdiscilinar& aroach to histor&4 (n m& own Auest for a
suitable ,raduate ro,ram, ( was thrilled to learn that Professors Thomas LaAueur
and Carla +esse both tau,ht at Eer'ele&4 Professor LaAueur's boo', 0a'in, *e5:
Eod& and Gender from the Gree's to -reud, stands out amon, the man& boo's (
read durin, m& under,raduate education= and ( credit his boo' with introducin, me
to the nascent but fascinatin, 7eld of the histor& of se5ualit& and the bod&4
To,ether, Professor LaAueur's cuttin, ed,e research and Professor +esse's
'nowled,e of earl& modern women's histor& would ma'e m& e5erience at Eer'ele&
a challen,in, and enjo&able one4
1#
(n addition, Eer'ele& ro)ides an ideal climate for me to de)elo m& cross
3discilinar& interests4 (n articular, ( am interested in ursuin, a desi,nated
emhasis in women, ,ender, and se5ualit&, a uniAue otion that distin,uishes
Eer'ele&'s histor& ro,ram from that of other institutions4 The cross3discilinar&
nature of Eer'ele&'s ,raduate ro,ram would foster, ( hoe, fruitful discussions with
other deartments, notabl& the deartment of /n,lish and Bomen's *tudies, thus
broadenin, and enrichin, m& research as well as m& ,eneral understandin, earl&
modern culture and histor&4
1

#eviewers$ %otes
1. The writer be$ins with a %i%id &#ote that $rabs the reader's attention ri$ht
away.
2. 'Ca#tions' is an e("ellent %erb "hoi"e. Caref#l word "hoi"e makes for li%ely
writin$.
). *ote how neatly in one well+pa"ked senten"e! the writer $ets ri$ht to the point
of her "#rrent resear"h.
,. '-ro%o"ati%e' is an apt and "olorf#l word "hoi"e. This senten"e e(plains the
nat#re of her st#dy and sit#ates her s#b.e"t in histori"al and themati" "onte(t.
/. 'Unr#ly' is another aptly "hosen ad.e"ti%e. 0d.e"ti%es "an "reate 'dead pla"es'
in writin$ if they add nothin$ si$ni1"ant to the no#n that it is des"ribin$.
2. The s#mmary senten"e not only re"aps the $ist of the 1rst para$raph! b#t also
pro%ides f#rther n#an"e of the s#b.e"t at hand.
3. This 1rst senten"e makes "lear that resear"h 1rst and foremost will be "entral
to her ar$#ment in the essay. 4entionin$ the 'Chan"ellor's 0ward' in the "onte(t of
her resear"h is a "le%er way of boastin$ witho#t seemin$ to.
5. 6t is a %ery $ood idea to e(pli"itly state the "hosen s#b1eld within history7 early
modern 8#rope. 9o# "an't ass#me that yo#r readers will make the inferen"e from
the resear"h topi" alone. To 'assert and "ontest' opinions is! of "o#rse! the
marksmanship of historians: makin$ referen"e to 'the "#rrent state of early modern
historio$raphy' "on%eys familiarity with the s#b.e"t on the one hand! and
"on1den"e and intelle"t#al poise on the other. *oti"e how m#"h more powerf#l is
s#"h a statement as "ompared to one poorly written! s#"h as '6 am passionate and
"ommitted to my interest in early modern 8#rope.'
;. 0$ain! to say that as a historian! she will 'elaborate! modify! and "ompli"ate' the
s#b.e"t matter is to show that she really #nderstands the work of historians. 0 less
e(perien"ed "andidate mi$ht ha%e written that she wants to #n"o%er the 'tr#th' in
history.
10. <Startin$ points' ++referrin$ to her resear"h interests++is a %ery meas#red way of
sayin$ that she knows what t#$s at her heart! has done eno#$h resear"h to ha%e
some h#n"hes! b#t is open to s#rprise endin$s. 0 bea#tif#l rendition of a historian's
sentiment. 9o# may t#rn o= yo#r readers if yo# "ome o= so#ndin$ o%erly "on1dent.
4aintainin$ a meas#red tone is %ery important.
11. This para$raph details f#rther spe"i1" lessons and skills earned thro#$h this
resear"h pro.e"t. *ote the #se of "olorf#l %erbs s#"h as 'na%i$ated' and 'st#nt.'
12. *ote the n#an"ed and "aref#lly meas#red way of speakin$ abo#t her s#b.e"t.
Clearly the writer is well+read in theory and shows stron$ ability in "riti"ally
e%al#atin$ her s#b.e"t. 4oreo%er! she tries to be the 'ob.e"ti%e' s"holar in that she
does not "hampion any "a#se. That is! she does not "hampion the "a#se of women
e%en as she "on%eys deep empathy.
1). The referen"e to a parallel e(ample of female appetite in "ontemporary "#lt#re
as holdin$ interest for the writer is aptly pla"ed here. ere she to ha%e mentioned it
any earlier! it wo#ld ha%e "lo#ded the primarily histori"al nat#re and fo"#s of her
%ent#re.
1,. 6t is wise at this point to >oom o#t a bit and show that the writer's interest lies
more broadly in early modern 8#rope and the history of women. ?oomin$ in and o#t
from the narrow to the $eneral shows that yo# are "apable of be"omin$ a spe"ialist
witho#t bein$ o%erly narrow.
1/. Showin$ interdis"iplinarity and yo#r abilities in lan$#a$e are key to yo#r
a"ademi" bio$raphy. 6n this "ase! the reader learns that she is a historian with
trainin$ in literary and "riti"al theory.
12. This is a model para$raph for showin$ what yo# did in yo#r 'time o=' from
s"hool. *ote how nothin$ e(traneo#s to her st#dy is mentioned in this para$raph.
The para$raph shows that the time o= was spent wisely in preparin$ herself for
$rad#ate s"hool.
13. She demonstrates a thoro#$h+$oin$ knowled$e of UC Berkeley. She mentions
not one b#t two key s"holars with whom she "o#ld p#rs#e her st#dies. She mentions
how their area of spe"ialty do%etails with her own resear"h interests. *ote how she
does not make empty! @atterin$ remarks abo#t the professors or the s"hool.
15. She "ontin#es to list bo#nties beyond the department stren$thenin$ the
ar$#ment that Berkeley is well+s#ited for her. The reader will be impressed with the
resear"h and the serio#sness with whi"h she has e(amined UC Berkeley as an
option for $rad#ate s"hool. 0 well+written essay #n%eils m#"h information abo#t the
writer! not only in her intelle"t#al "apa"ity! b#t also abo#t her "hara"ter and "ore
%al#es. Thro#$h her writin$! she makes a distin"ti%e impression.
.rticle Courtes&39C Eer'ele&

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