How To Survive A Break-Up

The Ultimate (Effective & Short!) Survival

Guide
! "vo##e $eima##
1. You broke up and this time it's final..
2. Where are you now in YOUR life
3. ow to !et throu!h the hard"ore sadness
#. Re$settin!.
%. Remember& you used to be so !ood at
that'
(. )ies that ma!a*ines tell
+. ,he time in between relationships

-. .orwards ne/er ba"kwards'

0. )o/e will find you a!ain don't hide

11. 2t's a new day and somebody lo/es you
.oreword3
Who knew 2 would e/er write a book. 2 didn't.
,his book is dedi"ated to all of those& who ha/e
been badly affe"ted by a break$up.
2 want to help you and 2 hope this book will
support you !ettin! ba"k up..
bein! happy a!ain e/entually.
%ir&t of all' " would like to &a! that it(& )reat
that !ou are here a#d it(& )ood to &ee !ou! *)
" wrote thi& ook for all of tho&e who have ee#
rece#tl! or ever heavil! affected ! a reak-up+
,ow i& the time for &ome emotio#al care+ -ou
feel &o low a#d !ou do#(t k#ow how to )et
throu)h thi& time &o " would like to offer &ome
&upport+ " would like to let !ou k#ow !ou are
#ot alo#e with thi& prolem a#d that we all
have ee# there+
" hope that o#ce !ou have fi#i&hed readi#) thi&
e-ook' !ou will feel lifted' i#&pired a#d more
e#er)i.ed aout the future a#d &ee wa!& to )et
it &tarted+ Eve# thou)h " wrote thi& ook mai#l!
with a female reader&hip i# mi#d' " have /u&t a&
much &!mpath! for ever! )u! who i& )oi#)
throu)h the &ame thi#)+ So' if !ou are a )u! - "
welcome !ou too+
Thi& ook will do it& e&t' to take care of !our
fra)ile little heart which ha& &uffered latel!+
0he# a relatio#&hip e#d& it i& #ot /u&t that we
&a! )ood!e to the per&o#' we al&o &a! )ood!e
to the life that we thou)ht we would have+ The
pla#& we made' dream& a#d hope& we had++
ur&ted like a ule+ * 1
0e reach poi#t .ero+ A& !ou ca# &ee " am talking
about that heavy kind of break up. The break up
that seems to you like the apocalypse, the world
ended... so how are we still here?
There is a reason for that.
It might not be clear to you now, but with time
you will realize why this had to end and that
there is not just sadness but also a lot of
opportunity in change. It is important to not lose
hope in mankind all together. It is essential, that
you take good care of yourself in this time until
the point when the sun will shine for you again.
et!s get started"
1. You broke up and this time it's final..
#fter a long time or maybe even just an intense
short time it!s now over. It!s final. # few attempts
of reconciliation have been made but at the end
of the day the damage is done. $ou are tired of
arguing over the same things over and over
again, tired of trying to change someone who
probably never will, you are tired of feeling this
way. %&hausted.
#nd you are sad. 'ery sad. $ou know for sure,
there is no way back and it is in the best interest
of everybody most of all yourself, that this
relationship is now over.
The difficult and sad moments that stressed you
out and made you angry and upset, were
outweighing the nice little moments and
memories you ( have made together. )emories
from way back when there was that certain
e&citement about each other. *hen you started
out, the good+bad ratio was ,,- to .- whereas
when you ended, it was almost like the other
way around. .- good ,,- bad.
There were times when you did not even
recognize yourself.
$our behavior may have been outrages when
feelings took over and got the best of you.
It was not logical it was based on pure
emotions. *e all make mistakes and learn. *e
are only human.
*hat you would have done or better what
wouldn!t you have done to make this relationship
work. To get the good times back again. To be
loved. To not let this person go..
/ut people change, circumstances change.
0ow you are on your own again. $ou barely
remember how that was like and if anything it
couldn!t have been any good, right? *ell, hello" I
wrote this book to help you. I wrote this book to
be there like the reliable, optimistic friend you
maybe never had" 12 # friend who cares and
wants you to survive this emotional low.
# friend who wants you to remember how
amazing you are.
In this e3book, I will list some things that will
help you to get through this crappy time. I can
not lie and I can surely not spare you the tears.
It!s all part of the process. /ut in the end, once
you arrive at chapter .4, you will feel better.
%ventually. $ou don!t have to read this e3book all
in one day but you sure can. Then get it back out
after a month or two and read it again. It!s short
and you will see, you have already made some
progress.
2. Where are you now in YOUR life
5ince your life has just changed it!s time to take
a look at where you are. *here do you live, what
is your job, and what is your desired destination?
#re things 6besides the break3up of course2 the
way you want them to be? Is this what you had
in mind when you were growing up? If not do
something about it. 7ood things do not come to
those who wait.. good things come to those who
get up and get stuff done. They come to those
who take action"
ist here 8 things that bother you1
..99999999999999999999999999999999999999
(.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
:.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
;.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
8.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
0ow list 8 ideas on how to change these things1
6if you don!t have an idea ask a friend that you
like and respect2
..99999999999999999999999999999999999999
(.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
:.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
;.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
8.99999999999999999999999999999999999999
$our list could look like that1
.. I spend to much time by myself at home..

(. I dislike my job so much I don!t even want
t to get up and go there..

:. I have no hope for things to change..

;. )y clothes are so worn out, remind me of
m my old self+past days..

8. )y mood is down constantly, what can I do?
0ow 8 ideas on how to change these things1
.. 7o outside. Take a walk with your dog. <oin
a local group that shares the same hobby
as you. 7o to the library, read books"
)aybe even just in a big book store where
they have a reading area. Time invested in
yourself is never wasted.
(. $our job sucks but you need the money. In
that case you could still hold on to the job
and get the paycheck while already looking
for something new that will suit you better.
If you then end things with your current
job, end it on a nice note so you have all
the options in case you change your mind
later.
:. That!s a tough one and even for the most
optimistic enthusiast there are times that
are draining, times that are sad but this is
true for life and love1 to get something you
never had you must do something you
never did. #ll according to your own moral
compass which is hopefully intact. 12
;. Time to get rid of the old clothes that are
worn out and remind you of your old life.
They don!t serve you any longer. $ou can
keep your . or ( favorites but if you can,
you should let go of the rest. 7ive it to
somebody who might need it. =ed >ross,
5alvation #rmy.. 6?5. If the clothes are in
bad shape they can go to the garbage as
well2
8. $our mood is down, so you need some
impulses to change that. Impulses from the
outside. >all a friend you didn!t talk to in a
long time @acebook is no substitute for
caring for others or keep an actual real life
friendship alive. @acebook is observing
what others do. ?ersonally I got rid of my
@/ a long time ago. It!s also a good way of
finding out who really cares for you. 7ive
somebody a call show some real life
interest" )eet your friend or favorite
relative for a coffee in a reasonable priced
coffee shop" 12 7o to the movies, go to the
zoo basically just get out, see and
e&perience something and someone I0
=%# I@%.
!. "ow to get through the hard#ore
s sadness
0ow here is my view on that, going through that
phase is necessary even if it includes tears and
some days on the couch with a cupcake or two.
The sadness is there, the sadness needs to get
out somehow. #fter a good cry you can feel like
nature does after a long thunderstorm, the air is
fresh and clear. 0ew things are coming.
Aere is a list of the most saddest love songs that
can make you feel understood Bwarning they
are tearjerkers.. 1 + Blisten to them at your own
riskB 6if you don!t want to cry fast forward to the
uplifting playlist at the end of this book2
$at#hing %ad &laylist
#my *inehouse /ack To /lack
5ugababes 5tronger
0o Coubt Con!t 5peak
#my *inehouse ove Is # osing 7ame
Tweet >omplain
#my *inehouse Tears Cry Dn Their Dwn
6if you would like to talk to somebody1
>areline >risis Intervention EFF3(GG3;:8F (U.S.))
0ight time is the toughest, it is good to have
some sort of big fluffy pillow that you can hug
while sleeping. If you have trouble finding sleep
you can listen to an audio book, like somebody
reading you a story or a thriller even. It is also
helpful to drink a cup of warm milk or camomile
tea before going to bed.
=%)%)/%=1 *hatever gets you through this
time safe and sound.
Con!t lose yourself. It doesn!t help anybody
especially not yourself, if you are trying to use
rough methods to get through the pain. 5o too
much alcohol or a pack of cigarettes a day are
not helpful if you wanna get out on the other
side of the sadness tunnel in a good shape.
I would even recommend, that you e&ercise just
to generate some energy. ike a bike ride or
jumping on a trampoline but you can do that
on daytime. It will be a rough patch where your
faith is tested, but you will get through these
days. =emember1 It is always darkest before
dawn.
There are happy days ahead if you just keep
on walking now.
'. Re(setting
Dnce we get out of a relationship we always
learn something. )ostly, if you look back at it a
few years later it is so clear to you why this could
have never worked out. $ou know as they say1
0ever a failure always a lesson.
The good thing is, after this !!e&perience!! you
now know what you )O*'+ want. This same
thing will not happen to you twice because you
won!t let it.
$ou are valuable. There are times when people
that we meet or spend phases of our lives with,
have a different set of values than we have.
5ometimes they might even have no values at all
cause they got rid of them when it seemed to be
the latest trend. *e were not able to see that
cause maybe they tricked us in the beginning,
making it seem as if they knew right from wrong.
?robably, we have been in love so we 6not our
brain but our heart really2 decided to ignore the
warning signals. Dnce we were physically
involved we could not see clear anymore. I have
read, that there is a particle in our blood,
responsible for that, but since I am not a doctor
I won!t try to give you the medical definition for
it here.. 12
#nd who knows? *ho knows what has happened
to our former partners, so they became that way.
*ho knows who they have met before us, who
treated them this way and made them think this
kind of behavior is normal and acceptable? *ho
knows if they never met anybody like you before,
they had to show some respect to. $ou could be
the first person who said TAI5 is not ok. 0DT
*ITA )%.
That!s why it ended. /ecause you know you are
worth more than that.
This should not lay too heavy on your shoulders
forever because often the other person does not
even realize how hurtful their behaviour was so if
you carry this grudge for too long, it will only
make your life harder than it could be.
B5pecial note in case there was a third person
involved1
It is just too easy to say TAI5 ?%=5D0 is responsible
for the break up. It is just a natural instinct to think
that way. $ou may have so much CI5IH% for that
person, that is trying sooo hard to replace you 3 even
though we all know that is impossible.. The truth is1
# relationship that is intact with ( honest, loyal
people is not an open playing field for others to
enter. It is not possible to take someone away from
somebody else unless this person was already
looking for an e&it out of the relationship. If it helps
you, to think that way 6blaming another person2 you
might do so for a while.. but only for a while until
you can see clearly about it.
,o#ation and ,o-e ./O*U% 0"1&+2R3
If I have learned . thing about !!romantic
relationships!! during my time in 0$>, it is
there, they want to teach you1 $DI #=%
=%?#>%#/%. *hich of course you are not. $ou
are uniJue. There is no second person like you
walking on this earth.
)en as well as women have soooo many
different people to choose from in cities like that.
#nd highly attractive people too, cause they are
coming there from all over the world to start
some kind of career or business.
In the beginning one might be very idealistic
about D'% and finding your great, loyal ?rince
>harming there, but in reality there is only a
small chance to find that good hearted person.
)aybe, someone who moved there recently with
values still intact.
If you are serious about finding love I strongly
suggest, you move elsewhere. $es you might be
hot, but so are (G:F;E; other people there too.
If you are looking for the real thing, and
someone who takes the time to recognize
everything you are 3 it!s time to consider a re3
location.
4. Remember5 you used to be so good
at that6
!!=emember how you did it before? et!s do it
again"!! *e all have favorite things to do. Things
that we really enjoy doing, or even things that
we are really good at. 0ow try to remember
what that was. *hat!s that . activity you always
feel lifted up by? #re you good at drawing?
Craw" Co you enjoy swimming? 7o swimming" Is
cooking your hobby? Time to get a new cook
book and try out some recipes"
$ou love %dward and <acob? Dk you can even do
a Twilight marathon.
It is important at this emotional critical time, that
you keep yourself occupied. Heep it going.
Ideally get a little notepad that you put in your
handbag.
Dn there, you can write a to do list for this
upcoming week. )aybe the notepad has a
calendar in it. That would be practical. There is
also one thing I think makes the difference you
have to have goals" #nd not just elusive kind of
goals.. no precise and clearly formulated
goals.
$ou want to organize your aparment and throw
out stuff you no longer need? Dk, do it by this
@riday. Dr, you want to sign up for a gym
membership to get out of the house more often?
@ine, why not go tomorrow? There is this one
book you have heard of, it is supposed to be
good.. why not look it up on ebay and get it for
cheap? $ou haven!t kept the contact to your
family as much as you did before this
relationship started? >all a family member right
now. Co not isolate yourself. >ontact to other
6optimistic2 humans is recommended.
7. ,ies that magazines tell6
Con!t even get me started or you know what1
?lease do" )agazines are writing a whole lot of
/5 to convince you there is something wrong
with you when there really isn!t" $ou need the
latest hair style, the best nails and the most
e&pensive designer bag or A% *I 0%'%= DDH
#T $DI" $ou know what, that!s really AI5
problem. Co you have any idea, how many of
these Aollywood actresses get screwed over and
cheated on, on a daily basis? #nd why do you
think that is when they are so perfect? >ause
the guys they deal with, have no values.
The guys we are talking about here can find
another perfect girl on the ne&t corner. 6that also
e&ists vice versa when a girl is doing that to a
guy2 They do not even care who the person is,
they do not care who you are or what you are all
about. They don!t even take the time. *e are
talking about the emotional fBcked up here.
%motionally unavailable and so full of self3doubt
and vanity that they need to get their ego
stroked from who ever is ADT right now. /eware
of those recognize the red flags early.
et me clear this up, whatever the magazine
says, there is no #ure for dealing with an
a88hole. $ou can be miss Iniverse, it wouldn!t
make a difference. 5adly, this is how a lot of
magazines make their money1 by telling you
what is wrong with you rather than what is
wrong with the person who is treating you
poorly" Co not buy into this. Co not listen to
them. If you want a style update do it because
you might feel better after. 5tay true to yourself.
It could have been anything, I doubt it was the
wrong color of your nail polish.
#lso one more thing1 $ou can never out3slut a
slut, if we are talking about competition here.
?lease remember that, when any magazine
wants to tell you !!Aow To Heep $our 7uy *ith
The Aottest 5e&ual ?osition Df The )onth!!. $ou
can do the whole kamasutra up and down with a
guy who is not sincerely interested in you and he
could still kick you to the curb tomorrow cause
somebody else will do the whole kamasutra :
times a day. 12 Con!t think I have never been
confronted with these kind of problems.
I want to share what I have learned by going
through it, in hopes to save you some time and
additional heartache or headache.
Heep it classy, cause a guy who only returns for
se& will be out of the door once that!s done.
Inless you are prepared for this 6unhappy2
ending, it might not be worth it. /ut that is really
something for you to decide. #nd as another
wise6?2 Juote says1 !!/ad decisions make good
stories.!! /ut they are also able to e&tend the
heartache. Cragging it on for too long when you
could already be in the process of healing and
recovery. The process of closing this chapter for
good.
9. +he +ime :n /etween Relationships
That time is reserved for you" It is a time of
recovery. *hat I have noticed, is that after a
break3up we are going through life looking back.
*e are analyzing, we don!t know what the future
will hold now that we have to face it alone. 5o in
that time, it is important to slowely but surely
get back on your own two feet. $ou and your
happiness doesn!t have to depend on anyone,
anybodys mood or mood swings or good+bad will
towards you any longer. $ou don!t depend on
that.
$ou have to try to reach the point where you can
say1 I am on my own for now, and I am okay
with that.
Cays, weeks or months will go by. Time to re3
define where this road is going for you. 5ure it is
better to go through life with a partner, but it is
also important for you to heal first after you got
hurt so bad. #lso don!t underestimate the power
of a strong family bond. Dne family member you
can always reach, a co3worker or somebody you
study with. )ake sure you have a good
connection to at least . person that can always
be reached and is interested in helping you
getting through this time.
;. <orwards ne-er ba#kwards6

*hat has happened is now in the past. $ou will
probably think it over again once in a while, but
clinging on to a past that is now a closed chapter
will delay the beginning of a brand new chapter.
#s in all problems we encounter, or maybe
mistakes that we make there is information to
be gained from.
%ee5 you didn't go through all of this for
nothing. You ha-e gained knowledge along
the way.
$ou now know what you do not want again. /y
coming to terms with the fact that the past is
now over, it is time to carefully shift your view
from looking back to the past to take a good look
at the present and use all there is available for
you, so you can create the future that you have
in mind. It will not just come to you you have
to go and get it. #ll that is worth attaining is
worth the effort you put into it.
%ven if you think1 !!I can not do anything about
my situation..!! $ou were given ability, dreams
and a brain. !!The grass is greener where you
water it.!! so do it.
=. ,o-e will find you again > don't hide
It is important, that you do not isolate on your
couch by yourself with C'Cs like !!The 0otebook!!
forever" #s far as I remember, nobody ever
found a new potential love interest on their
couch.. Inless you consider online dating. I do
think there is potential in that but you really have
to be careful, with trusting some profile that
could have made up by anyone really.
If you are not ready yet, that!s fine. $ou will
know when the right time comes. The right time
to get back up, put on that nice new outfit and
give the world another chance.
$ou will know when the time of mourning is over,
because it is a new day and a new, e&citing part
of your life is just around the corner 3 waiting to
get started. The best thing to get back out there
is in pursuing your interests.
1?. :t's a new day and somebody lo-es
you.
<ust imagine while you are sitting here reading
this book 3 which is a great thing to do really 12
there is somebody out there looking for you..
5omebody with similar interests who might just
had a bad break3up themselves. They think the
same way about love after it!s over. They think
all people are bad and they don!t ever want to be
so vulnerable again. They don!t ever want to fall
for somebody again, if that person has no
intention to catch them. They are disappointed
and sad too, just like you.
/ut if they don!t lose hope and you don!t give up
on love all you need to do now is find each other.
To give an honest, true love that only you two
can find together, a chance. It is true you will
probably encounter a few unsuitable candidates
along the way to your new love. /ut if you go on
to meet someone new and the guy+girl is
obviously not suitable from the beginning, who
says you can not have a nice conversation and
make a new friend.
The higher the e&pectations, the bigger the
disappointment.
If you go to meet someone new, see it for what
it will be. # meeting with a stranger at first,
maybe a good afternoon. If you go there to be
swept away immediately or to get married to this
?rince >harming ne&t week forget it. $ou can
have a nice conversation, good dinner. If it is too
bad you can even e&cuse yourself early because
you have another place to go, an important
appointment, a birthday you can 0DT miss.
/ut if it turns out well, maybe there is a (
nd
meeting for you ( coming up. @et to know
ea#h other. I personally do not call it a date.
The whole concept of dating is an #merican
thing and very foreign to us %uropeans. Cating
as I have seen it, means hanging out with
someone until somebody better comes along. It
is not a statement like saying1 ''We are a
#ouple > and #hose ea#h other6'' would be.
It!s a 84+84 half hearted thing. %ither somebody
wants you or not. It is not good for your own
feeling of self3worth to be just loosely C#TI07
somebody for a long time. If he+she wants you
and you want them too, you will be a real
couple. $ou will be in a relationship and know
that you have found each other. @ull3hearted.
$ou are @riendsKovers.
If they don!t claim you, he+she is not that into
you. It!s not a big problem if you recognize this
early. *e meet many people in life. It happens
and it!s time to move on from this e&perience
their loss.
)o not settle for someone who is not
absolutely glad to ha-e you.
There is also the idea that friends of your friends
that are now single could be someone of interest
to you. >ause if you have friends in common you
most certainly will share some of the same
interests and often have an instant sympathy for
the people who like the same people you like.
0on#lusionA
5ince this book is based on personal e&perience I
want to sprinkle some personal infos in.
I have been through an earth shattering break3
up myself, which I thought I will never re3cover
from. It took me a long, long time to heal. I felt
so incomplete suddenly, even though I was
always so independent before I was struck by IT.
*hen I first felt this certain way, I went
stumbling towards it like a clueless puppy
thinking1 !!Dh what is that it feels so good..!! 1C
I remember the time when I could have sworn
and signed for the fact that ,OB2 e&ists because
8: ha-e felt it83 only to have had my heart
ripped out and shattered to pieces after I was so
high on that feeling. I crashed to the ground with
no parachute or anything soft to land on. There
was only the ground and a harsh reality I had to
face alone, after I came back to my senses.
#fter I gave my heart in trust to somebody
else to carefully hold it. /roken promises, false
imagination on how things would be. /utterflies
in my stomach1 poisoned.
#fter it was done, I came to the conclusion, that
I didn!t recognize the red flags that have been
there all along, because my feelings had taken
over and my mind couldn!t have won, stopping it
earlier by coming up with anything that would be
critical about AI).
Then I thought, obviously feelings weren!t that
mutual and they didn!t reach the deep levels of
his being, as they had reached mine. 1 + I was
naive. # beginner+a dreamer. That was the only
possible e&planation. @alling for him happened
naturally. *ould I have gotten so involved
emotionally if I would have known how hurtful it
feels when it!s all coming to an end? 0o.
#fter a long time of trying to find to myself
again, I was going to give it another shot L get
back out there. ooking around to see the good
in people, often I just couldn!t find it. /ut I was
also located in a city that is one of the most
highly competitive cities in the world. I was at a
point where I seriously lost almost all faith in
mankind.
I thought I was in this never ending isolation all
by myself and people have forgotten what
authenticity is.
They have forgotten what values are, even their
own upbringing and to differentiate between
right and wrong. *hat true loyalty, friendship
and trust in a relationship means. They have
forgotten what ,OB2 is.. %ventually, I felt like all
guys just wanna trick you, use you then kick you
out. 6not literally2
/ut that was then.
)eanwhile I have found a boyfriend who made
me re3think all of this. *ho gave me that
glimpse of hope in mankind back, and I am ever
so grateful.
#nd now it is up to you, my dear readers. It is up
to you not to give up on love until you find that
someone who is out there looking for you.
That person which has their guard up so high,
cause he too got hurt. It is work to build trust
again, hard work. /ut step by step you can do it
together.
Dnce you will find that person you will know.
?lease don!t give up for these moments are far
too treasurable to miss.
$ou know somewhere on this earth somebody is
walking around looking for that great, kind and
amazing person that you are. 5omebody who
knows what you are worth.
5omebody who would not trade you for all the
money in the world. 5omebody who will look into
your eyes and you just know a break3up had to
happen just so that you two can finally find
each other.
This is no time to lose hope it!s a time to
remind yourself of all the things you are able to
do. $ou are here now with all the opportunities
in the world, right at your fingertips.
Con!t give up on love. @ill the time until it will
find you with the most e&citing and wonderful
e&periences you can. /e good to yourself you
are wonderful" 12
Iplifting playlist1
>aro %merald # 0ight ike This
5ugababes =ound =ound
@eist I @ell It #ll
The Ting Tings That!s 0ot )y 0ame
auryn Aill %verything Is %verything
0atasha /eddingfield 3 Inwritten
"ow +o %ur-i-e 1 /reak(up >
+he U,+:$1+2 .2ffi#ient C %hort63
%ur-i-al @uide
written by :-onne Reimann
www./est/reakIpMuotes.com
N5urvive#/reakIp
Ivonne =eimann is a multi3talented web content writer,
author of the book D"ow +o %ur-i-e 1 /reak(Up (
+he Ultimate .2ffe#ti-e C %hort63 %ur-i-al @uideD
as well as a singer and songwriter. /orn in %ast 7ermany,
she gained her understanding of media and writing
through placements at 0/> Iniversal /erlin, Interscope
=ecords 0$> and studying <ournalism in ondon where
she currently resides. @ind more infos at1
:-onneReimann.#om +witter.#omE:-onneReimann
>opyright O (4.: Ivonne =eimann. #ll rights reserved.
0o part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in
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from the author, e&cept for the inclusion of brief
Juotations in a review. #ll trademarks and service marks
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opinion of the individual author based on their personal
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