The rapid advancement in technology coupled with the increasing awareness on health issues, has now

made it much more probable for individuals to keep the doctor away, while boycotting apples. Due to
the implementation of essential vaccination along with the progress made in biochemistry, the world is
now almost liberated from the plaguing of diseases such as small pox, mumps and polio. However, the
world is now faced with the battle of newer threats such as the Ebola virus disease. Despite the fact that
the disease has no substantial cure at the moment, mankind should be grateful that there are several
precautionary methods revealed to us to prevent the spread. But how should man deal with an illness
that neither has a cure nor a definitive method of prevention available? Yes, there exists such an
infection that although has not been recognized by the WHO yet, has already caught millions of people
all over the globe like wildfire. I speak of none other than the dangerous, One Direction Infection.

With an infection like this, I believe it is necessary to understand its modus operandi to help an initial
self diagnosis. I, being one of the many victims of One Direction Infection shall guide you through the
process of detecting its symptoms and behavioral impacts.

To start off, you first need to understand where the infection originates from. In 2010, the widely
popular reality show X factor UK hosted auditions for its seventh season. There, the judges came across
five boys- Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik. The boys were all
talented singers, though lacked the charisma to make it as solo recording artists. The head judge, Simon
Cowell was the mastermind behind the formulation of uniting the boys as a group. As a result, at
8:22pm, 23
rd
July, 2010, One Direction was born. And ever since their birth, the five boys have steadily
victimized approximately seven million teen girls. The infection is most prevalent in girls among the ages
of 12 and 20 who call themselves Directioners. I was hit in 2011, at the tender age of sixteen.

The infection primarily starts off as a mild version of Erotomania, where the directioner shall feel
infatuated with either one particular boy or all the boys at the same time, the latter being the more
serious case. In this scenario, girls usually exhibit a desire to express their love in the form of
accumulating merchandize. Posters, I heart 1D t-shirts, bags, stationary and bracelets are just some of
the objects one might posses. Note that the purchase of all four of their albums is not a requisite for the
condition. Many directioners may have memorized the lyrics to every single song released yet might
refrain from singing along in public places. If that is not the case, then one should investigate further
signs of the infection, the next one being the purchase of concert tickets or attending meet and greets.
The reason why this is in a different category is mainly due to the heavy pricing of the tickets in relation
to the cost of other artists tickets. If a directioner is willing to go out of her way to see the boys it is a
clear indication that the infection is quite lethal because now the individual has developed the idea that
a rendezvous with her lover is a probability.

Aside from some explicit indicators, certain forms of queer behavior can shed light on the severity of the
infection. This can be most easily tested on girls who detest vegetables. If someone you know has been
chomping down loads of carrots*- she is a Louis girl. A Louis girl may also be fascinated by pigeons that
she will refer to as Kevin**. A Niall girl may enjoy eating various kinds of potatoes- mashed, baked and
roasted in particular. A Zayn girl may incorporate Varsity Jackets and all black combinations in her attire
quite frequently. The list is quite extensive; hence I shall skip to the chase and issue the final most sign
that may surely help the diagnosis-ships. Please do not confuse this with the metallic monsters that float
on the surface of the sea as modes of transportation. Ships here refer to the relationships the boys have,
that one might approve or disapprove of. For example, many girls do not ship Louis and his girlfriend.
Many even deny the fact that he has a girlfriend. Rumor has it that Louis is in love with his band mate
Harry although their management forbids them from confessing this as it will harm the bands
reputation. The approval or disapproval of ships like Larry, Elounor and Zerrie *** is a sure sign
that your daughter or sister is in way too deep to be meddling in the personal matters of celebrities.

If you happen to spot a 1D Update application on your girlfriends phone, that alerts her every twenty
minutes on what the boys are up to, you need to realize that she is cheating on you with five devilishly
handsome men and you need to dump her right now because in the words of Louis Tomlinson there is
no cure for One Direction Infection.