Contents

Preface:
Challenges to ICPCC pastoral and spiritual policy: From the private
consultation of the counselling room to the open and public space of
market place encounters
Danil Louw
ICPCChistory and mission
Ulrike Elsdrfer

1
5

Part I: Indigeneity: a challenge for Pastoral Care and Counselling

Indigenous world views and therapeutic pathways
Mason Durie

Refocussing and God Spaces: Holistic Counselling that allows for

encounters with God
Diane Divett

18

Advance directives and end of life care planning: A qualitative study

among older adult church members in a New Zealand city
Noel Tiano

35

Part II: An outstanding catastrophy: a challenge for Spiritual

Care
Narrative-Hermeneutical Care
For the Survivors of the Great East Japan Earthquake and Tsunami, 2011
Takaaki David Ito

53

ii

C ONTENTS

Part III: Gender aspects, body and well-being: questioning

Pastoral Care and Counselling for individual and social solutions
The perspective of cura corporis within the international social medias
quest for bodyism and healthism: towards a pastoral hermeneutics of
the interplay between male physicality (integrative physical well-being)
and compassionate intimacy (pastoral healing)
Danil Louw
The peril of patriarchal power: distorting dignity and intimacy in (male)
sexuality
J. S. van der Watt
The Heart of Matter; Body as Blessing
Anne Simmonds

67

90
112

Part IV: Cultural and religious diversity: a chance for Spiritual

Care
The emergence of cultural difference and pastoral care: conicts and
opportunities of encounter and healing
Ronaldo Sathler-Rosa
The Wiesbaden Experiment on Muslim care
as a contribution to a healing encounter of Muslims and Christians in
Germany/Europe
Ulrike Elsdrfer

125

139

Part V: Conditions of humanity, social contexts and rituals: the

basics of Pastoral Care and Counselling and Spiritual Care
Hope as a Precondition for Well-being:
a case study of people in personal debt
Raili Gothni
Religious shame theology and assistance
Paavo Kettunen
Pastoral care and counselling as congregational care: a paradigm for caring
leadership
Lars-Gran Sundberg

153
167

186

C ONTENTS

iii

The signicance of the loss of a child for the formation of parents

spirituality: spiritual, mental, and social coping processes
Harri Koskela

204

Pastoral-Spiritual Care, Counselling, & Advocacy with and for those Less
Able
John C. Carr

210

The welcoming guest. Practices of mutual hospitality in Chaplaincy

Martin Walton
Only the hair is grey . . .
Pastoral care and adult education for and with elderly people in a German
Begegnungssttte (house of encounters)
Heike Komma

220

235

Pastoral Rituals and Life-Cycle Themes in Family and Individual Worship

Alan Niven

239

Authors

255

Challenges to ICPCC pastoral and spiritual policy: From

the private consultation of the counselling room to the
open and public space of market place encounters
Danil Louw

Pastoral care entails more than merely formal and very expensive appointments
with professional counsellors. Pastoral care often takes place where people meet
one another within informal encounters with the question: How are you today?
In a human encounter care becomes a public event within the cultural setting of
daily life: pastoral care as life care (cura animarum as cura vitae). When pastoral
care is exposed to the daily problems of life within poor communities, the public
setting of less developed countries, contexts of violence and fraud, and the HIV
& AIDS pandemic, the Mother Theresa model for pastoral care and counselling
is becoming more appropriate: be there where they are (the being functions of
daily encounters).
One of the goals of the ICPCC in terms of the constitution is to link theory
formation in Pastoral Care & Counselling to real life issues as framed by context
and culture; a kind of grass roots-approach. This goal implies a paradigm shift
in care and counselling from an individualistic approach to a more systemic and
contextual approach.
There should be a paradigm shift from an individualistic approach towards a
more communal perspective that includes a priority for relationality and community; a more interpersonal than intra-psychic developmental perspective . . . and
a goal of mutuality and reciprocity with communities (A remark in one of the
general discussions at the Rotorua conference in New Zealand, August 2011).
Due to current processes of globalization, there is a tendency to emphasize
the importance of local contexts and particularity within the realm of communities. This process is known as glocalization. Without any doubt pastoral care and
counselling should reckon with this development. Territory, land and environment
surface time and again as vital topics in local discourses.

DANIL L OUW

During the Rotorua meeting of the ICPCC the notion of indigeneity surfaced. Indigeneity implies a close and long-standing relationship with territories,
land and the natural world. For example: in Maori traditions indigeneity plays
a fundamental role in a Maori understanding of healing and well-being: ecoconnectedness; the bonding to the land (grounded identity); and protocols for
encountering (dened relationships).
Healing is embedded in a continuum where interdependence, balance, and
connectedness prevail. Healing is about the negotiating of relationships within a
general meeting place.
In Marae-encounters the mode of thinking is more centrifugal (outwards direction) than centripetal (inwards direction). Understanding therefore comes from
larger contexts, e.g. wider relationships, and not merely from analysis of component parts. Similarities convey essence and meaning and not so much differences.
What then is the implication for pastoral care and spiritual healing?
Pastoral therapy should become holistic and focused on interconnectedness
within the realm of relationships. Enduring relationships need to go beyond momentary psychological and emotional experiences to embrace a sense of connection with time, space, and the spiritual domains that connect human lives with natural and cosmic environments. Healing is embedded in culture and should therefore probe into these paradigms, rituals and norms/values that dominate cultural
thinking in a very specic local context.
In India many of the so called Western Theologies are rendered as inappropriate for a cultural approach to well-being and healing: they are too kerygmatic,
pietistic, cultural bounded, adult- and male oriented, clerical, non-revolutionary,
other worldly, handmade of Western expansion, church-centered, individualistic
and even disrespectful of nature.
Within the gender discourse, the peril of patriarchal power dominates the debate. In this regard the social media projects masculinities that fuels images of
strength, domination and powerful control.
Male sexuality is strongly driven in the direction of genital centrality, but that,
although the reigning creed on mens bodies (still) seem to be: big, hard and up,
men need to evaluate this dominating discourse critically and learn to embody
alternative ways of being men, i.e. valuing vulnerability as necessary equivalent
to power.
On the other hand, males become more and more confused regarding their
gender role in a democratic society with the emphasis on equality.
The deconstruction of male power in the gender debate is contributing to the
so called crisis of males. Stripped from their traditional role functions and bombarded by the mass medias promotion of the concept of hegemonic masculinity
(the athletic male body as a mark of power and moral superiority), males are be-

P REFACE

coming more and more confused, or in poor communities, even more violent. It
has become a dominant, global idol that men should be strong and behave according to the Rambo-Schwarzenegger-image for physical well-being. In the meantime they feel vulnerable, exposed and robbed. In the market driven economy
men are forced to still produce, but in the meantime are exposed to the vacuum
of: play in the present because the future produces nothingness (nausea).
When one takes the issues of land, territory, grassroots culture, human identity
and human dignity, clarity on gender and the meaning of being male and female
seriously, what then is the challenge to pastoral care and spiritual healing?
The challenge in a pastoral approach to well-being is a wholistic approach
with the emphasis on an integrative perspective wherein the human body is a vital
part and ingredient of spirituality (embodied spirituality) and care is involved in
the whole of human life: the networking of relationships should be healed.
Therapy is a spiritual practicenot just a xing of human problemsrather
facilitation of a movement towards what is characterized as shalom in the
Judaeo-Christian tradition; a shalom that is both internal and environmental.
The emphasis in pastoral care and counselling is more and more on what is
called spiritual therapy. The quest for meaning and signicance with the question: How does God t into the picture of human suffering and the quest for
human dignity and justice?, is back on the table of pastoral care.
Spirituality refers inter alia to the dimensions of existential questions; the nding of meaning and purpose in life; the value of social relationships; the interplay
between emotions, values and identity; the relationship with God; the concept of
God; the quality of the spiritual life of an individual; and the content of belief.
Wholistic care implies inter alia the healing of public paradigms that determine the value and dignity of people within daily encounters.
In spiritual care the pastor should become a proper guest in the life and story
of the other person; pastoral care implies a mutuality of hospitality.
The role of the pastoral counsellor is to give hope during times when people
become desperate and see no hope for their future. In their stories even secularized
people still use spiritual or religious language, as for example: mercy, grace,
and new beginning.
With the following shifts in mind: from an exclusive to an inclusive approach;
from global to local, form individual to community, from person to system and
relational network, pastoral care enters the public domain of the market place;
care becomes life and public care.
Pastoral care is a public dominium; it is interrelated to life as a web of political, environmental, economic, and nancial issues. Within this web the notion
of power is fundamental. Pastoral care is not aligned with the state, but uses its

DANIL L OUW

spiritual orientation to confront unfair use of power. To care for the public is to
advocate for the fullness of life.
This is my sincere hope and wish that this publication will start to stir the
waters of critical reection within theory formation for an appropriate and relevant
approach to pastoral care and counselling: cura vitae!
Danil Louw
Stellenbosch
09/02/2012

ICPCChistory and mission

Ulrike Elsdrfer

The International Council on Pastoral Care and Counselling (ICPCC) met in August 2011 in Rotorua/ New Zealand for its 9th International Congress.
The organization of theologians and psychologists working in the context of
different religions came into being in 1979 with its rst and important meeting
in Edinburgh/Scotland. The theme of this 1st Congress was: The Risks of Freedom. Dealing with liberation, healing and reconciliation as important theological
items, as crucial aims of psychotherapy, and as fundamental aspects of genderdiscourse, the Congresses gather a community of pastoral psychologists and theologians from all over the world and from different religions.
Participants from more than 50 nations meet every fourth year to build a theory of pastoral care and counselling and to exchange concepts of the practice of
the religions caring and counselling activities. The researchers and practitioners met before in the USA, Canada, Australia, in Eastern and Western Europe,
in Africa and India. Subjects were: the relevance of memory and storytelling
in a fractured world, or the use of symbols to give experiences a structure . . .
Challenges deriving from the history of colonisation and economic marginalization were added to dealing with the consequences of war and persecution, as it
was resulting from World War II. For a long period the theory and practice of
pastoral care and counselling as it emerged in the USA, and especially within
Protestant traditions, was of a predominant importance. Later on aspects from different cultural backgrounds and from most different religious traditions changed
the perception and the self-awareness of the worldwide movement.
New approaches to the eld of care and counselling arise from dealing with
indigenous perspectives. In this volume those aspects predominantly result from
New Zealand/Aotearoa Maori tradition: The cultures outstanding relation with
the environment and its dependance on community life is connected with a widespread spirituality.
Gender discourse is dependant on the sensitive awareness of contexts, it relies on the possibility to choose different life-styles. Approaches to holistic coun-

ICPCC HISTORY AND MISSION

selling are focussing on the interwoven awareness of body, psyche and intellect.
Spirituality is the underlying fundament for all concepts.
Contributions from the modern Europe and its newly emerging encounter of
Islam and Christianity as well as insights from other multi-ethnic contexts refer to
integration as a matter of social health-care.
Coping with the consequences of catastrophies like the earthquakes in Japan
2011spiritual rituals, personal encounter and counselling can help to care for
peoples bodies and souls.
Pastoral care and counselling remains rooted in its fundamental concerns:
Dealing with the basic psychological, spiritual and mental challenges people have
to face during every life time.
ICPCCs mission is:
To promote the reective praxis of pastoral care and counselling throughout the
world.
To inform, educate and inspire practitioners of pastoral care and counselling in
various contexts in the world.
To enable practitioners of pastoral care and counselling to be resources for one
another and to learn from each others cultures, traditions and practices.
To support and advocate for the unique and essential dimension of spirituality in
the teaching and practice of pastoral care and counselling.
To develop relevant theories in the eld of pastoral care and counselling and to
this end to engage in interdisciplinary discourse.
To organize and assist in organizing conferences, consultations and meetings in
various areas of the world.
To support the development of counselling centres and organizations for pastoral
care and counselling in various parts of the world.
To increase interaction with other care and counselling organizations.
Ulrike Elsdrfer

Part I:
Indigeneity: a challenge for Pastoral
Care and Counselling

Indigenous world views and therapeutic pathways

Mason Durie

This paper was based on an address to the International Council on Pastoral Care
and Counseling, at the 9th World Congress, Rotorua, New Zealand, 2011.

Introduction
The wellbeing of indigenous peoples largely depends on the ways in which indigenous world views can be endorsed in modern environments. Like other indigenous
peoples, M
aori in Aotearoa New Zealand have incorporated traditional knowledge
into theology, health, education, and counselling services. The focus has been on
understanding the interface between customary and universal practices in order
to live as M
aori and as citizens of the world.
There are signicant differences in the circumstances of indigenous peoples in
various parts of the world, manifest by varying degrees of dispossession, different
health and education experiences and diverse political relationships. However, although colonisation and globalisation have often undermined indigenous culture
and economies, global forces and electronic communication have also provided
greater opportunities for indigenous communities to enter a world-wide scene and
to engage with each other. In that process the commonalities between indigenous
peoples have become more apparent and can be discussed according to a range of
perspectives. In dening indigenous peoples in 1949, the United Nations General
Assembly noted certain characteristics:
Among the peoples of the earth, indigenous people constitute a vulnerable
group which has long been neglected. Their social structures and lifestyles have
suffered the repercussions of modern development. They have been subject to
growing pressure to bring their languages, religions, knowledge, arts and oral traditions, and the other manifestations of their ways of life, into conformity with
those of the majority social groups around them.
However, in 1949 the United Nation had misread indigenous aspirations. Although conforming to wider society was not irrelevant, the primary aim of indigenous peoples was to regain indigenous values and language and to exercise a

10

M ASON D URIE

degree of autonomy. Most indigenous peoples believe that the fundamental starting point is a strong sense of unity with the environment. Arising from the close
and enduring relationship with dened territories, land, and the natural world, and
exemplied by the pattern of M
aori adaptation to Aotearoa (New Zealand), it is
possible to identify ve secondary characteristics of indigeneity (table 1).
Table 1: Characteristics of Indigeneity
Features

Key Element

Primary Characteristic:
An enduring relationship between populations, their territories, and the natural
environment.

An ecological context for human endeavours

Secondary Characteristics (derived from

the relationship with the environment):
the relationship endures over centuries
the relationship is celebrated in custom and group interaction
the relationship gives rise to a system
of knowledge, distinctive methodologies, and an environmental ethic
the relationship facilitates balanced
economic growth
the relationship contributes to the evolution and use of a unique language.

Time
Identity
Knowledge

Sustainability
Language

A contemporary challenge for indigenous peoples is to retain a strong sense of

identitylanguage, values, customs, customary resources and indigenous systems
of knowledgein the face of global colonisation. This challenge has become increasingly relevant to counselling and psychotherapy and recognises that even in
metropolitan environments, cultural world views continue to shape the parameters
of human experience . . .
Since the modern study of psychology owes much to investigations by scientic researchers in western countries, many of the ndings about behaviour,
relationship building, cognition and affect are particularly germane to western
cultures. However, they cannot necessarily be applied to all cultures. Assumptions about universality have long since given way to recognition of the impacts
of ethnicity on patterns of behaviour and there is an increasing realisation that the
ways in which people think, feel, and relate to each other are often a reection of
the culture within which they have been raised.
In contemporary times, most M
aori participate in the prevailing New Zealand

I NDIGENOUS WORLD VIEWS AND THERAPEUTIC PATHWAYS

11

culture but also have links to M

aori culture and its unique characteristics. Even
if there has been a degree of cultural alienation, it is likely that wider family and
wh
anau networks will have some ongoing engagement with M
aori culture and
M
aori social networks. There is therefore some merit in asking whether M
aori
people have ways of thinking, feeling and behaving that derive from customary
M
aori world views. Moreover, if that is the case, are there any implications for
relationship counselors?
In order to identify the attributes relevant to counseling that might be associated with M
aori world views, this paper analyses the encounters commonly entered into on a marae in modern times. Marae are places where cultural protocols
are observed, usually according to particular tribal traditions. Marae encounters
point toward M
aori world views as well as providing a basis for understanding
distinctive ways of knowing, behaving, and relating. The fact that most M
aori are
not regularly involved in marae activities may reduce the extent to which observations can be generalised and applied to all M
aori. At the same time it is also
likely that within the wider wh
anau, other members of the family may be more
regularly involved so that the marae cultural ethos is not entirely removed from
the conscious and unconscious minds of less involved relatives.

Marae Encounters
Marae encounters can be conceptualised from several perspectives including functional, structural and symbolic viewpoints. However, in this paper encounters are
described as domains, broad conceptual zones within which distinctive psychological and behavioural activities occur. The contention is that marae encounters
are primarily about negotiating relationships within a context of kawa, a way of
behaving that has both historic and contemporary signicance.
Table 2: Marae Encounters
Elements of Marae Encounters
Te marae tea
Ng manu krero
Koha
Tangata Whenua
Tapu, noa
Whaikrero
Mana, manaakitanga
Tauparapara, karakia

12

M ASON D URIE

Thonohono
Source: Durie, 1999, Journal Polynesian Society

Table 2 summarises a set of nine encounters and associated domains. While similar activities may be found in other settings, signicance and understanding takes
on a new form when considered within the marae context. Of the several domains,
the domains of space, time, boundaries, the land, tapu, metaphors, and the circle
are particularly relevant to counseling.

Te Marae Atea:
The Domain of Space
Essentially a marae is structured around an open space. At one extremity can be
found the host group, at the other, the visitors. The physical space is necessary in
order to explore relationships and establish boundaries, usually through speeches
made by representatives from each group. According to the convention adopted at
a particular marae, a series of speakers will use the space to variously challenge,
inquire, connect and inform. If all goes well and there is mutual acceptance of
the terms laid down on the marae, the space will be crossed so that both parties
can assume close physical proximity. In effect the space has been necessary to
clarify the terms under which the parties will come together, and to identify both
the differences and similarities between the groups.
In modern times there is usually a convivial relationship between the parties
even before the domain of space is encountered, but the rituals that occur nonetheless offer the opportunity to reiterate the distinctions and, if appropriate, to highlight the commonalities. The important point is that the use of space is a necessary
accompaniment of encounters, providing not only physical territory but also the
psychological space necessary to rehearse identity and to conrm the relationship
between self and others.

Ng
a Manu K
orero: The Domain of Time
On a marae, the measurement of time depends less on being punctual and more
on allocating time for necessary activities. Speakers on a marae epitomise the distinction. Regardless of any prearranged timeframe or schedule, they are inclined
to use time to convey essential messages and they place considerable importance
on speaking until they are satised that the right messages have been conveyed.
While some might argue that there is a tendency to disregard time, the more obvious point is that time has been allowed to complete the necessary protocols to
the required standard. Time is ordered according to the sequence of events and
speakers set the pace.

I NDIGENOUS WORLD VIEWS AND THERAPEUTIC PATHWAYS

13

Sometimes the term M

aori time is used, disparagingly, to refer to people
who are late. In that interpretation being on time is seen as more important that
attending to rst things rst. In fact, however, M
aori time is more about prioritising time rather than being late and is more concerned with the allocation of time
to enable genuine engagement than with a preordained schedule.

Koha: The Domain of the Circle

Although the marae is more often rectangular than circular, the activities and symbolism reects a circular pattern of exchanges. A good example can be found with
the system of koha. While the practice of leaving a gift (in modern times usually
money) on the marae tends to be associated with helping to cover expenses, it is
more importantly about relationships than nancial costs incurred. There are two
aspects to the koha practice. The rst is the desire of a visiting group to present
a gift that will encourage the development of a relationship with the hosts. The
second aspect is the acceptance of the gift and by implication the conrmation
of a relationship. Were the gift not accepted, or if it were returned, it would be a
clear sign that an ongoing relationship was not envisaged or desired. The notion
of a circle is embodied in the koha and it would be consistent with the symbolism
for the kohaor its equivalenceto be returned when the two parties met again. In
short, the nature of a gift, in M
aori eyes, is less about the generosity of the donor
than the obligations placed on the receiver.
Apart from the koha practice, other marae encounters also reect the circle
as a way of interacting. The order of speakers for example often proceeds in a
circular fashion, encompassing the whole marae and within the communal houses
located on the marae (whare-nui) there is often a circuitous route taken by speakers, especially when fare-welling a deceased person.
Reciprocity is an integral part of M
aori custom and philosophy and continues
to guide thinking and interaction in contemporary times. A circular pattern rather
than a lineal conguration is evident and the goal is to create wider ripples so that
inclusiveness can be at least considered.

Tangata Whenua: The Domains of Mind and Earth

Critical to marae encounters is the notion of tangata whenua. Literally people (of
the) land, the term recognises a group who have peculiar rights and obligations on
a particular marae. Sometimes tangata whenua is used as if it were synonymous
with M
aori people, but more accurately it refers to a group of M
aori within a
particular locality or region who by reason of a continued presence over time,
have acquired special status. While political and territorial rights form part of that

14

M ASON D URIE

status, of greater signicance is the bond they have with their land and the wider
natural environment.
The bond between people and earth features strongly in marae encounters and
forms an important part of identity for individuals and groups. In this regard, a
personal psychology is closely attuned to the land and the wider physical environment and at a collective level a tribe is often referred to by a geographic feature
within its terrain. Where there is landlessness, there may well be consequences
that go beyond economic considerations to include psychological and emotional
impacts.

Tapu, Noa: The Domains of Safety

Although the custom of tapu and noa is no longer widely applied, it remains a
powerful force in marae encounters. Essentially, any person, object, or event that
might possibly impose a risk, is regarded as tapu until the risk ceases to operate.
Once any possibility of risk has been eliminated the situation becomes noa, safe.
Largely as a result of missionary interpretations, tapu has been equated with sacredness and its usefulness as a code for conduct has tended to be replaced by a
fear of divine retribution. While there is a spiritual component to tapu the more
practical implications should not be overlooked. There was a strong connection
between the use of tapu and the prevention of accidents or calamities, implying
that a dangerous activity or location would be declared tapu in order to prevent
misfortune.
Marae visitors who are aware of the signicance of tapu usually demonstrate
a cautious attitude and are at pains to avoid any action or comment that could be
misconstrued as an intended slight on their hosts. Built into their world views is
the notion that risks are high until otherwise proven. Efforts to move too closely
or to be overly friendly before the terms of a relationship have been negotiated
are not encouraged. Indeed much of the marae protocol is aimed at determining
whether there is risk and how risk might best be handled.

Whaik
orero: Metaphorical Domains
Central to a marae encounter is the rehearsal of whaik
orero (formal speeches)
by chosen orators. Speakers act on behalf of either hosts or visitors and have the
unenviable task of ensuring that the group they represent is not disadvantaged. As
often as not, experienced orators deliver their addresses with a masterly mix of
directness and metaphor. Metaphor allows for comparisons to be made, a wider
context to be established and allusions to be suggested avoiding a micro-focus and
positioning the subject within a broader perspective.

I NDIGENOUS WORLD VIEWS AND THERAPEUTIC PATHWAYS

15

In addition, it is now usual for whaik

orero to be followed by waiata, a song
or chant that adds meaning to the address and further identies the speaker or the
speakers group. Like aspects of whaik
orero, the waiata is rich in metaphor and
contains numerous references to historical, geographic or literary associations.
While at rst glance there may be little direct link to the matter under discussion,
the metaphorical dimension shifts the focus onto another plane. In so doing there
is an accompanying psychological shift so that meaning is transformed beyond
the purely functional to acquire a broader philosophical connection.

A M
aori Counseling Framework
Five recurring themes that have relevance to counseling can be identied in marae
encounters. First, understanding comes from appreciating the relationship between the individual, the group and the wider environment. The direction of M
aori
thought and feeling attempts to nd meaning in bigger pictures and higher order
relationships.
Second, although integration and association across wide ranging spheres is
important, boundaries also play a large part in psychological organisation. There
are clear distinctions for example between between risk and safety, hosts and visitors, right and left, rst and last, clean and unclean, food and water. Personal
boundaries are also observed so that despite physical closeness (as during an embrace), individual uniqueness is retained.
Third, marae encounters reect an underlying orderliness. Order is apparent
not only in physical arrangements but also in the sequence of proceedings, the
progression of thoughts, and the way in which time is allocated. Often orderliness
is equated with rigidity and a lack of innovative thinking. Although that can be
the case, it is also clear from marae observation that it need not be. Patterns of
thinking and behaviour provide a matrix within which there is room for elaboration and creativity; while at the same time orderliness reduces opportunity for
misinterpretation.
A fourth theme concerns patterns of thought. M
aori generally shun directness,
preferring a type of communication that alludes but does not necessarily focus on
a detailed point. This seemingly peripheral approach can be confounding and is
sometimes described as puzzling, especially if the central point cannot be deciphered. However, the clues to meaning are found less in an examination of component parts (of speech, behaviour) and more in imagery, higher order comparisons and long memories. Psychological energy moves outwards, it is centrifugal
rather than centripetal.
Identity is a fth theme. M
aori identity, at least within a marae setting, is
linked not only to ancestral descent but also to the land, and to wider environ-

16

M ASON D URIE

ments well beyond human inuence. Individuation is not the sole task for establishing a secure identity; identity is also a function of conscious and unconscious
connections with the environment, with the group, and with those departed.

Implications
The intention in this paper has been to raise the question about indigenous approaches to relationships and the processes involved when relationships are negotiated. Counselors do not often consider the signicance of time, space, boundaries and circularity to the counseling process. But in so far as marae encounters provide a glimpse into M
aori ways of thinking, feeling and behaving, and
the ways in which relationships are negotiated and strengthened, there are some
insights that might usefully be applied to counseling. Importantly, clients need
space before they can have condence in a counselor. Cramped ofce conditions
or physical closeness before the terms of the relationship have been established,
may lead to aborted engagement. Underlying the comfort of distance is the knowledge that retreat is possible if the encounter is unpleasant or unsafe.
An even greater challenge is to allocate time according to client needs rather
than institutional timetables. Set time frames (e.g. the forty minute hour) assume
that clients are ready and able to relate according to the clock even if the process
of engagement has been inadequate. Marae sequences revolve around generosity
with time and a readiness to abandon the agenda if more time is needed to make a
point or endorse a sentiment.
Observing boundaries should be fundamental to the process of counseling for
the protection of both parties. The boundary between counselor and client is necessary for a good outcome and creates a measure of safety especially for clients
who might otherwise mistake friendliness for encroachment. Professional boundaries, intergenerational boundaries, gender boundaries, and boundaries between
the living and the dead enter into counseling processes and deserve respect. Efforts
to overcome difdence by being overly ready to embrace or diminish boundaries
may well lead to withdrawal and a retreat into silence.
Further, although the language of counseling tends to be one of carefully chosen words and precise connotations, with attention to subtleties of meaning, there
is another style of thinking that places less emphasis on precision and more on
the pictures that words can create. Metaphorical language inhabits another space
where meaning is derived from relationships between ideas, and the circumstances
within which those ideas are elaborated. Indirectness may be seen as more expressive and more telling than the employment of directness and the labeling of
emotions without consideration for the context of emotion. It may also account
for some of the reasons why M
aori are less inclined to pursue subjects where un-

I NDIGENOUS WORLD VIEWS AND THERAPEUTIC PATHWAYS

17

derstanding is based on an analysis of smaller and smaller parts without a parallel

opportunity for creating wider domains to contextualise the detail.
Finally, a lesson to be learned from marae encounters is that people who are
entering into a relationship, or renegotiating a relationship, do not always distinguish themselvesor each otherfrom the groups they represent, or with whom
they have close afnities. As often as not, regardless who the faces of the day
might be, wider group associations enter into the relationship so that people react as much to those who are not present (except in memories, past encounters)
as to those who are visible. The opportunities, risks, and responsibilities extend
outwards adding a dimension that can often seem to cloud a relationship. Nor in
many situations can it simply be assumed that there is a prime or fundamental relationship which is necessarily the most important. Unless those wider obligations
are recognised and incorporated into discussion, the full nature of the relationship
might never be understood.

Refocussing and God Spaces: Holistic Counselling that

allows for encounters with God
Diane Divett

Abstract
Refocussing is a pastoral care counselling theory, Refocussing Theory (RT), and
practice, namely, Refocussing Therapy (RFT). This has resulted from years of
work as a pastoral-theorist-in-action. Inuenced by a Maori (Tuhoe) whakapapa (family history), Refocussing provides a holistic seven foci meta-system,
which although multidisciplinary, is specically designed to attend to the integration of psychology and theology to provide a sound theory and practice. It honours
and empowers people to include those knowings (rituals if you like), and experiences of God that people bring to therapy and beyond. The aim of the therapy is to
bring individuals, couples, families (wh
anau) and organisations into wholeness.
Principally, and unique is the way people are facilitated to use their God
Spaces to encounter God. Facilitation of God Spaces provides a reliable, predictable and repeatable practice that is based on peoples own experiences, language, symbols, metaphors, geographical and /or other physical spaces. The theory proposes that using God Spaces allows people a way to locate (nd), access
(experience), and describe (develop), their God encounters. In addition, research
shows that the outcomes can result in healings, and/or gaining resources, and /or
gaining resolution for those problems, issues or unmet needs that people bring
to the pastoral carer for help.
Keywords: Pastoral-theorist-in action, counselling, New Zealand Maori, wholeness, God Spaces, knowings, God encounters.
Dr Diane Divett is a New Zealand M
aori, who has been a pastoral-theorist-in action for almost 30 years. During this time Diane has occupied multiple roles as: a teacher, pastor, lecturer, conference speaker, researcher, counsellor, and church planter. Together with her husband
Hamish, they have pioneered three churches for three different Church denominations. Her passion throughout this journey has been pastoral care, with a particular emphasis on helping people
connect to and experience God.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

19

Where did Refcoussing Therapy come from?

Cultural inuencers
Refocussing Therapy emerged as the result of an intersection of a number of
important cultural inuencers. First, is that of my own intergenerational story
(whakapapa), as a M
aori of Ng
a T
uhoe (a tribal group) from New Zealand (Aoeteoroa). The foremost inuencer in this regard, was my Maori (T
uhoe) grandmother,
Rosina Whakararoa Towai (Cairns).
My grandmother, (Rose) inuenced by her mother, Towai Taiapo, and other
T
uhoe wh
anau (extended family members), seamlessly passed this knowledge on,
handed down from our Tipuna (ancestors). That knowledge was early on deposited
in our people Ng
a Tuhoe. An early ethnographer, Elson Best, dubbed this tribe
The Children of the Mist;1 because of their close association with an area of
land, mountains and rivers that are referred to as Te Urewera in the central North
Island of New Zealand. There, Nga T
uhoe, The children of the Mist developed
their own ways of knowing, being and doing. So, not surprisingly, these people, in
particular, my own whanau and whakapapa, have inuenced who I am, and subsequently how Refocussing Therapy with its particular unique emphasis describing
and employing God Spaces to encounter God and to connect to ones own sense
of spirituality and the prophetic, has come into being. In particular, has been an
intentional pursuit of a way to integrate the inclusion of karakia (prayer),2 spiritual
experiences, and the necessity to attend to the whole person.3
Beginning this article about Refocussing by telling my whakapapa is not
only appropriate and expected as M
aori, but is also an acceptable research pro4
cess and methodology. Obviously, to provide my entire whakapapa (family treegenogram), would not be possible, given the purpose, and required brevity of this
article. Therefore, only those relevant details of my whakapapa have been noted.
In particular, are those relevant for how as a pastoral theoristin-action, this directed the development of Refocussing.
1

Elsdon Best, Tuhoe: The Children of the Mist (New Plymouth, New Zealand: Published by The
Board of M
aori Ethnological Research for the author and on behalf of the Polynesian Society,1925).
Diane Divett. Refocussing Pastoral Care Connect Group / Self Awareness Facilitators Manual
(Refocussing International: Auckland New Zealand, 2005) 3841
Mason Durie, Whaiora: M
aori Health Development, 2nd ed. (Australia and New Zealand, Oxford, 1998). Mauri Ora: The Dynamics of M
aori Health (Australia and New Zealand, Oxford,
2001)
Huia Jahnke, and Julia Taiapa, M
aori research, in Social Science research in New Zealand.
Many paths to understanding, ed. Carl Davidson and Martin. Tolich (Auckland: Longman,1999), 41.

20

D IANE D IVETT

Also, it is noted, that whakapapa has been employed here as a methodology,

to facilitate the story of Refocussing and God Spaces. This allows for me to use
my own voice, and, also, to reect current Maori research practices.5 In addition,
as the author and developer of Refocussing and God Spaces, I nd myself in the
unusual position, of being the person who is most knowledgeable about the development of the theory and its practice, therefore, afrming the importance to
tell the story from my perspective. Others are beginning to write about Refocussing, and because their research is relevant it is referenced here and that which
is relevant is also mentioned lateralbeit, briey.6 That research and other collective voices, especially the increasing numbers of case studies that are accruing,
are noted also, because they add another perspective besides mine.7 My perspective, while inuenced from being Nga T
uhoe, is also one that has developed over
almost 30 years while engaging as a pastoral-theorist-in-action.8

A pastoral-theorist-in-action.
As a pastoral-theorist-in-action: juggling multiple roles while co-pastoring an
Auckland inner city church with 1500 attendees; as well as serving as on several
other boards that represented Christian organisations; I was fortunate enough to
be allocated time to engage in researching the needs of the people representing
those communities.9 Specically, for those who identied themselves as Charismatic Christians, they expressed there was a lack of available therapeutic help
5

Fiona Cram. MAI Review Special Issue. Community Research Engagement. Ng

a Pae o te
M
aramatanga New Zealands Maori Centre of Research Excellence. (guest ed). The University of Auckland, New Zealand, 2010.
Jane Kay. An Evaluation of Clients Experiences of Refocussing Therapy. M.Ed (counselling)
dissertation, The University of Auckland, New Zealand, 2002.
Jenny Sharkey and David Clarke. Refocussing: A God -Based Therapy Method (Berlin: Lambert Academic Publishing [LAP[, 2011).
Sarah Calvert, David Clarke and Jenny Sharkey. God SpacesTM : Clients Perceptions of Spiritual Experiences in Refocussing Therapy (Berlin: Lambert Academic Publishing [LAP], 2011).
Victoria Dean. Case study using Refocussing. Case- work Folio, The University of Auckland,
New Zealand, 2004. Jane Kay. Group facilitation: Refocussing Self awareness. Case Work
Folio, The University of Auckland, New Zealand, 2001. Christine Jenkins. Case study using
Refocussing. Case- work Folio(2),The University of Auckland, New Zealand, 2006.
Dianne Spain. Cross Cultural Case Study. Case- work folio, The University of Auckland,
New Zealand, 2002.
Paul Ballard and John Pritchard. Practical Theology in Action: Christian Thinking in the Service
of Church and Society (London: SPCK, 1996).
Diane Divett. Refocussing and God Spaces a Holistic Counselling Theory and Practice: A Integration of Theology and Psychology to Facilitate Encounters with God in and Beyond Therapy
(Berlin, Lambert Academic Publishing [LAP] 2011), 61104.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

21

and knowledge about their needs, especially the inclusion of their experiences
of God in the counselling process.10
It was agreed in the literature and conrmed by the participants themselves,
that prayer, revelation, experiences and encounters with God were a valued and
expected part of their Christian praxis.11 However, what also became apparent was
that an easily taught way, method, or a process to facilitate God encounters especially in a way that integrated psychological process and theory, with theological
soundness, was lacking.
Therefore, what became increasingly apparent from research, and, working
with people in the pastoral care context, was that people were undeniably having
experiences and encounters with God. Indeed, research showed that these experiences did facilitate healings and other positive outcomes.12 However, for me as
a researcher, this begged the questioncould peoples experiences of Divine encounters be studied, in order to learn if there was a way to facilitate God encounters with any degree of reliability, predictability and repeatability? Moreover, if
this was possiblethen how could this method (if it existed) be included in a
counselling process?

Research methods and Clean language.

The abovementioned line of enquiry led me on a quest. An important part of that
involved learning about a process called clean language.13 Clean language, although a complex process developed by New Zealander David Grove proved to
be a superb research tool. This was especially when I adapted and applied it to my
pastoral counselling research. The process empowered me as a researcher to really listen to, and hear, what participants were actually saying. Then, once coupled
with educational theory, psychological theories and processes, theological understanding, and, in particular, knowledge gleaned from Charismatic Christian eld
research, and acknowledgement of different (including M
aori) ways of knowing,
this all allowed for a complex process of analysis to be engaged with. That analysis, when all put together, eventually resulted in the development and dening of
what I called the Refocussing seven foci system (see Fig 1).
10

11

12
13

Diane Divett. Helping Clients in the Renewal: A Critical Analysis of Mental Health Effects
of the Renewal and How Best to Help Clients from a Counsellor/Pastors Perspective. M.Ed
(counselling) dissertation, The University of Auckland, New Zealand, 1995.
Gordon Fee. Gods Empowering Presence: the Holy Spirit in the Letters of Paul (Massachusetts:
Hendrikson, 1994).
Margaret Poloma. The Toronto Report (U.K: Terra Nova Publications, 1996).
David Grove. Perceptual Mapping, Clean Language and Intergenerational Work. Paper presented by David Grove at a seminar, Auckland, New Zealand, n.d. January, 1995. The Philosophy and Principles of Clean Language, 1998,

22

D IANE D IVETT

Suitably named, this seven foci system, was designed to provide a way to focus on, and attend to peoples unmet needs in all dimensions: the transpersonal,
the interpersonal, the intrapersonal, as well as the geographical, environmental,
and economic. In addition, the seven foci system, allowed for a way for unmet
needs to be identied (focussed on), as well as providing a way for those unmet
needs to be attended to via the God Focus. In this way, the God Focus, by way
of using God Spaces, allowed people to engage with and encounter God so that
a Refocus on what God wanted to show (for the visual), tell (for the auditory) or
give (for the more tactile or kinaesthetic) people could take place.
The importance to develop a theory and practice that attended to the whole
person was entirely expected and congruent with what it means to be M
aori. For
example, Mason Durie had already developed a model that emphasised wholeness. That model, Te Whare Tapa Wh
a represents the four walls of the meeting
house in which: taha tinana (physical well being); taha wairua (the spiritual dimension); taha wh
anau (family) and taha hinengaro (mental health or the mind)
are all important for well being.
Notwithstanding the importance of a wholeness perspective, for me as the
developer of Refocussing, I was also mindful that I wanted to attend to peoples
own unique knowings. For that reason, as part of my quest I was in search of
a way to attend to these knowings; especially in a way that was respectful and
honouring of peoples own language, symbols, and ways of being, having and
doing. Clearly for any such process to be worth its salt would require a clean,
non-interpretive way to get at peoples real meanings.
Consequently, to best achieve this, it was my conclusion that when adapted
clean language, proved effective. Accordingly, it has become integral to the Refocussing process. By being clean provides a way to focus exactly on what people are saying without imposing ones assumptions on people or reinterpreting
their language, symbols, or metaphors. In this way, clean language, as part of
Refocussing and God Spaces, has proven to serve not only as an excellent research process, but it also has provided an effective operating system which
allows the pastoral theorist-in-action and / or counsellor to conduct a clean and
non interpretive process, when necessary.
Fully described, the entire process includes a seven foci system that provides
a coherent theoretical way to achieve attention to the wholein this way providing
a wholistic14 perspective (see Fig 1). And, central to the entire system is the employment of God Spaces. God Spaces is the unique component that sets it apart
from other models in that it provides a predicable, reliable and repeatable way to
14

wholistic has purposefully been spelt this way, because it is the authors opinion that it conveys
the sense of what wholeness means in a more complete way the term holistic.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

23

assist people to focus on their own rituals and ways of knowing and experiencing God. Whats more, people are empowered to achieve this, by then using their
own knowings their own language, metaphors and symbols; which can include,
drawing, art, movement, song, poetry and so on. These are then more fully developed using the Refocussing process to help people better describe, and more fully
experience those knowings (see the illustrative case examples that follow).

The process of knowing

As a researcher, part of my interest was in processthat is how people know what
they know; and, where did that knowing come from? While there are many theories about knowing just a brief mention of a few important contributors to the
eld are highlighted here. First, is the seminal work of Bernard Lonergan, who,
in recent times, has spearheaded a lot of others to write about the knowing and
questioning processes. In his books, Insight: a study of human understanding,
and Method in Theology, he engages in an analysis of human knowing. He
explores method and the process of questioning and how we arrive at knowing.

Second, the nature of knowledge and knowing is also coming to the fore
amongst M
aori researchers. There are numerous M
aori terms that relate to

24

D IANE D IVETT

knowing and knowledge. The more well known perhaps, being m

atauranga (a
continuum of knowledge passed on), m
ohiotanga (an internalized knowing),
and m
aramatanga (illumination). These terms are becoming common parlance
amongst Maori researchers particularly as doing research the Kaupapa M
aori
way is taught.
Third is research that examines various religious experiences, especially those
that have relevance for what has been documented as part of Charismatic experience. Notable in this regard is the seminal work by William James. As well, the
works by Jonathan Edwards, and others such as sociologist Margaret Poloma who
are discussed in my own research, also provide insight into spiritual experiences
In part, it was my fascination with the exploration of knowing, delving into the
literature on knowing, and the development and experimentation with orientating
questions that empowered me to access peoples knowings. And, when all the
parts were put together, this eventually led me to the discovery of God Spaces.

What are God Spaces

To do justice to what God Spaces are: describing how they were actually discovered; and then developed; and further rened; to become the central and pivotal
aspect of Refocussing Therapy, is not possible to achieve within the connes of
this paper. Therefore, the following brief account will have to sufce.
God Spaces was the name given, by me as the researcher, to a social scientic discovery made in 1995. The result of working with people and facilitating
them to attend to their own knowings facilitated by a certain line of orientating questions about their spiritual knowings; in particular the question, where is
God for you? led to a gestalta paradigm shift. That gestalt revealed that what
was already there (God)though not necessarily acknowledged or even fully in
peoples conscious awareness, could be accessed and experienced. To gain access to these knowings, was achieved by way of a series of logical questions
orientated to peoples own symbols, drawings, metaphors, visions, hearings
and so on. These specically designed orientating questions allowed people to focus on their own knowings, and ways of knowing (albeit via the visual, auditory,
kinaesthetic, or olfactory [taste and smell] senses). The results of these ndings
empowered people with a predicable, reliable and repeatable way to consciously
shift their focus to what was previously subconscious (unknown) to the conscious
(now known). The outcome was that a three-part process that empowered people
to encounter God resulted. Specically, that three-part process included a theory
and practice, (God Spaces) that allowed people as individual, as groups, and or
as organisations, to (i) locate (nd), (ii) access (experience) and (iii) describe (develop) peoples own knowings of God.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

25

The God Spaces questioning process

By being engaged with the people as individuals, couples, families, and churches
testing and researching how to help facilitate people connecting to their own experiences of God has revealed particular patterns to best achieve this. Those patterns
have shown that the best results are achieved by following a certain line of questioning and repetition that honours and respects peoples various responses; all the
while helping them get at and develop their own meaning.
The line of questioning closely follows the logic, the thinking, the feeling, the
seeing, the hearing, and /or any other sensory perceptions people provide.
In brief, there are different ways of knowing. Already noted is that for M
aori,
and in my case T
uhoe, they are accustomed to and familiar with various ways of
knowing that reect a depth of knowing beyond the cognitive and emotional. In
addition, my research, on Charismatic Christian spiritual experiences, provides a
journey into the literature that draws on the insights of others: such as William
James, Jonathan Edwards, Margaret Poloma, Patrick Dixon and more. What is
clear from these writers is that religious experiences can include a variety of ways
of knowing. In summary, these can include the visual for those who describe seeing God or other spiritual beings, including angels and demons. These seeings
occur by way of visions, dreams, or a spiritual sense of seeing. People also report hearing God. This occurs rarely as an audible voice; rather people mostly
describe this sense of hearing as coming to them via thoughts, words, or a spiritual
way of hearing. Others report sensing God in a more physiological or kinaesthetic
way. This manifests as heat, cold, shaking, falling down, and so on. Still others
have reported smelling a sense of Gods presence, like a sweet aroma; while very
rarely (only 5 cases of the thousands I have now had occasion to interview) have
reported a sense of taste when they encounter God. Interesting is that all ve cases
reported the taste was like honey.
Obviously it is not possible within the connes of this paper to provide case
examples that illustrate all of these aspects. Nor is it possible to describe in detail
how the actual therapeutic process of Refocussing, using the seven foci system is
achieved. This is told in detail in the key text for Refocussing including a transcript
showing what happened when working with an adult client who was emotionally
traumatised, and displaying dissociative symptoms because of sexual abuse as
a child. As well, in that same book a ow chart of the questions and probable
responses is provided. This is to show the reader the logic behind the God Spaces
questioning process and to show that it does indeed provide a predictable, reliable
and repeatable way to connect to and encounter God.
Rather than detail all that information a summary chart (see Fig 2) showing an
example of the questions, taken from one of my teaching slides, is provided. This

26

D IANE D IVETT

is followed by three illustrative case examples, which show how some of these
questions are applied.

Fig 2 God Spaces Questions

Illustrative case examples:

Provided next are selected examples from three different cases in which brief
interventions were used with people in order to Refocus people to where God
was for them, by way of using God Spaces interventions. The rst case, Rebekka,
was achieved in a routine pastoral visit, simply by way of a conversation. The
second case, Kiri, was achieved by employing drawing and symbols in a God
focus intervention I had designed to use with groups or individuals, but in her case
it was at a counselling workshop. The third case is the summary of how a family
and congregation were helped through a process of grief and loss as they were
coming to terms with Russs terminal illness after he was diagnosed with cancer.
The summary is accompanied by a link to a video clip that shows how God Spaces
were used in a church service where Russ and his wife Jill were members.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

27

The case of Rebekka:

This brief illustrative example provides a portion of transcript from the case of
Rebekka. It is included with the orientating questions to show how the practice
of God Spaces was facilitated in order to facilitate Divine encounters. This God
Space encounter was facilitated when concluding a brief pastoral visit, whereby I
had been in a conversation about Rebekkas concerns and fears about her future.
Rebekka reported she had recently lost her job. And, it was with that background
in mind, that we, that is, Rebekka, her husband and I, were standing outside in the
surroundings of their impressive garden, where she was talking to me about those
concerns. Then, just as I was getting ready to leave Rebekka expressed she had
intermittent overwhelming fear about her future and the possibility of slipping into
depression. It was at that point she began to cry. Because God Spaces interventions
have been an effective way to help people pray, and / or gain a sense of hope and
perspective, and to help people gain a greater sense of closeness to God, I decided
to facilitate a God Spaces intervention with her, right then and there.
A God Spaces talking intervention
Dialogue
Diane: So Rebekka, I am not sure
I have the time to help with the
depression right now, but perhaps
it would be helpful if I could pray
with you. This type of praying will
be specically helping you nd
Gods resources as we go to God,
asking for help. And, the way to do
this is to ask you a simple question
where is God for you right now?

Comments

where is God for you right now is a key God space

question designed to Locate (nd) God.

Rebekka: Im not sure I know.

Some people answer immediately to this question indicating that they that they know where God is. I chose
this case because I shows what can happen when someone is not sure.

D: Perhaps I can help you with

what it is you do know when you
are no sure. Would that be okay?

To ask peoples permission is important. This demonstrates care and respect as well as providing opportunity to explain the process as required.

R: Yes. Mmmso how does that

happen?

28

D IANE D IVETT

D: I will just ask you some further

questions if thats okay. (Rebekka
nods)
So rst, lets begin with the same
questionwhere is God for you
right now?
But this time, take some time to
see, sense, feel or be aware of
whether God might be inside or
outside of you? (Pause and wait).

The rationale for this questioning line is:

1. It helps focus on the now.
2. To provide all options see, sense, hear, and so on,
and helps people to tune into their own way of
knowing.
3. Inside or outside is based on research that indicates
people can nd God in many spaces inside (heart,
head, gut) or outside (physical proximity, or in geographical spacesbeach, bush, sky, etc).

R: Her eyes open and standing

still for a few moments she then
responds:

While most people close their eyes some do notand it

can help to ask people what they would prefer to do?

R: Mmm I think he is behind me.

Peoples responses have been shown to vary including:

Inside (heart, head, gut), beside, above, in front, behind, underneath, all around.

Diane: So when you think he is

behind youwhat is that you are
seeing, sensing, hearing or aware
of?

It is important to repeat only what the person says. So

if they say they think he is theredo not change the
information to something they have not said.

R: Oh I can see him. He is really

close, he is standing right behind
me.

When people are questioned about the sense of seeing

many describe it as not a solid physical vision as such
but when asked if they could draw what they think
they are seeingthey report they couldand many do
just that.

D: So as he is really close and he is

standing right behind you.
Mmm. so, as he is there like that
what is that, that you are seeing or
sensing or hearing or aware of?

Notice the repetition. The counsellor repeats only what

the person says. Then to use an orientating helps the
person develop and describe what it is that they are
knowing. Again the importance of facilitating the
various options of knowing is fundamental to helping
that awareness.

R: I can see him standing right

behind me. He is real close and he
has his hands on my shoulders.

Again Rebekka indicates she is engaging with the visual faculty.

D: So as he is standing right behind

you and he is real close and he has
his hands on your shoulders, what
is there about his hands being on
your shoulders?

Note again how I repeat only the information the person provide. This is an example of clean language.
Then the question that follows is orientated to what it
is Rebekka knows and is an attempt to help her develop
and describe further what it is that she is aware of.

R: Oh that is so reassuring. I sense

this amazing warmth coming from
his hands. It is just pouring right
into me.

She indicates with her hands where the warmth is. She
shows it is coming from her shoulders down into her
chest.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

D: As that is so reassuring and
you can sense an amazing warmth
coming from his hands and pouring
right into you
What else happening?

The sequence and cleanness of what the person says

is maintained.
By asking what is happening begins to facilitate access to the experienceit provides focusimmediacy (a
gestalt approach).

R: I can feel this warmth, and it

is so, so, comforting. How can
that happen? I feel this amazing
sensation of warmth and love and
reassurance just pouring all through
me.

By facilitating access to the experience allows the

person time to sit with what is actually happening.

D: So what could a reassuring,

amazing sensation of warmth and
love and reassurance that is pouring
all through you from his hands on
your shoulders be wanting to give
you or do for you?

The next orientating question is one that will help determine if the experience is something that has any
further meaning or signicance beyond the actual experience itself. Therefore n orientating question to
develop the information is asked.

29

R: Reassurance. It is like he is
telling me it will all be okay.
D: is There anything else he wants
to tell you?

This is an orientating question that is designed to facilitate the person to develop and describe anything else
that might be happeningit is like a permission-giving
question.

R: Yes it is like he is telling me

I dont need to be afraid of the
future. And that warmth is like wow
its getting hotter. I can feel myself
inside almost glowing. It is sooo
reassuring and comforting. Its like
I knowno matter what he is with
me.

All the while Rebekka has her eyes closed with a big
smile on her face. Her hands have been moving to show
where the experience is located in her body.
After a few moments, when she has said no mater what
he is with me, she opens her eyes.

D: Every time you feel that sense

of fear about the future and that
sense of depression comingtry
using this experiencelike a karakia
(prayer). Simply shut your eyes
remind yourself of the picture of
where God is for youbehind you
with his hands on your shoulders
and go there. This is to remind
yourself that God is here and he is
reassuring you that everything will
be okay. I call this using your God
Space or spaces to pray.

I take this as a signal (based on experience) that it

is time to have a quick teaching moment. Here I am
informing her how to use God Spaces

30

D IANE D IVETT

Recommendations
While this is merely an example of a single case study it also exemplies how
God Spaces can and have been used with almost any problem in a face-to-face
counselling session. In particular, when a person, is feeling a bit stuckalbeit
with fear, anxiety, depression, sadness and so on. So, rather than accepting that
a person cannot be shifted from stuck, it is suggested that this is a safe and
effective way to facilitate movement to a different space. That safe spacea God
Space, is where people can be facilitated to encounter God and thereby invoke a
sense of hope, peace, security, and relief from stress, fear and hopelessness.
Research conducted by Sharkey (2005) conrms that such relief and reduction
in hopelessness, insecurity and stress, was indeed . . . the stated experience of
many of the RFT participants. Earlier research, conducted by Kay (2002) also
showed that when people had used the Refocussing approach with God Spaces,
that almost 100% of the 134 interviewed reported positive outcomes.

The case of Kiri

Kiri was attending a workshop learning how to use God Spaces to help people refocus. I explained how karakia (prayer) and, in particular the Lords prayer, taught
to me by my T
uhoe grandmother, was a useful way to facilitate people being able
to Refocus on God and encounter God. I explained that in the Lords prayer it was
important to begin with His/Her names as a beginning place in accordance with a
common karakia The Lords prayer.
Our Father who is in Heaven
hallowed be your name.
I then explained that there are about 300+ names of God mentioned in the Bible,
that is especially if we took into consideration all the metaphors and similes used
for God. I recounted some of the metaphorical names to provide her with some
examples:
Next, I told Kiri that a great way to locate, access and describe God could be
done in conjunction with a simple action exercise that I had made up. Therefore,
rather than detail that explanation, the sequence of how that was achieved will be
noted next in numbered steps:
God Spaces interventionusing metaphor, drawing and movement:
Step 1: Think of a name and /or metaphor that symbolises God for you. It could
be, God is like . . . Fire, snow, rain, oil, a river, a fountain, provision, defender,
the king of kings, the door, the way, the truth, life, the comforter, the healer,
and so on.

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

31

Step 2: Choose one or two of these names and then take the crayons and paper and
represent what God is like, on that paper. Use as many colours as you would
like, and, you can also jot down words if that is helpful.
Step 3: Now that you have nished your picture: I want you to take your picture
and nd a space in the room where you feel it would be most suitable and
comfortable for you to begin to interact with that picture. Place the picture
somewhere on the ground, or hold it against your physical bodyon your head,
your chest or wherever you feel it is most suitable or comfortable for you.
Step 4: Now that you are in positionif you have it: (1) on the ground I want you
to stand on it (take your shoes off if you feel that is comfortable for you). (ii)
Or as you holding it to yourself: I want you to go thereit is as if you are
letting yourself go to where God is for you as God is like . . . (whatever that
is that you have represented).
Step 5: Just take your time and begin to see (if you are visual) or hear (if you
are more auditory) or sense in or near your physical body (if you are more
kinaesthetic) or even smell what it is that God when God is there wants to
show you, or tell you, or give you as you allow yourself to connect to God
when God is like . . . ).
Step 6: Just take your time to engage with God like . . . and when you are ready
ask: Is there anything else that you want to show, tell or give me as you are
there like . . . .
Step 7: When you have asked God these questionsthen, give yourself permission
to take some time to see, hear, sense, what you think God is showing, telling
or doing as you are beginning to go with that awareness of God.
Step 8: You can go over these last 3 steps several timesthis will help you to begin
to develop what it is you are knowing.
Step 9: Then when you feel ready, begin to jot down those pictures, words or other
knowings that came to you.
Step 10: If you are comfortable share what you have experienced with someone
in your group.
A Summary of Kiris experience
Kiri being M
aori, felt the exercise worked surprisingly well for her. The reasons
she gave were because:
1. When choosing a name, or metaphor for God she felt free to choose a name
that related to her own culture and way of knowing.
2. She felt free because she understood for the rst time, that there are many
names, metaphors for who God is, and therefore she did not feel like she was
minimising the importance for sound theology.

32

D IANE D IVETT

3. Accordingly, she chose to draw a picture of God being like a mountain and
river with a waterfall. As well God was represented like a huge sun in the sky.
4. Then when she held that picture to her chest and then gave herself permission
to use the picture as a symbolic way of going there she reported that the
experience was extraordinary because:
a) She felt that the river was like God washing over her and it reminded her
of her own river and mountain where her iwi (tribe) are from.
b) She commented that the experience was incredibly meaningful with many
layers of signicance.
c) Among those experiences, when I helped facilitate what that knowing and
signicance was; was that the number of mountains represented her own
current family members, children and mother and grandmother.
d) It also brought to her mind that these symbols when looked at through her
M
aori lens were similarly representative of M
aori names for God; such as:
Tangaroa, God of the sea, rivers, lakes and all that live within them.
e) Similarly, the sun, in her picture, reminded her that for M
aori Tamanui-ter
a, the sun, represented God also, being like the God of the heavens.
f) She commented that what amazed her was: (i) that she had a real felt sense
of Gods presence as she went to that place (her symbolic God Spaces); and
(ii) that this could be achieved by simply using a picture that represented
who and what God was like for her.
Recommendations
This exercise is one I developed as part of a teaching curriculum that is designed
to facilitate people as individuals, couples, families, organisations, or in small
or large groups to help them connect to God. By helping people choose their own
metaphors or names for God, whether that be one or several of the numerous Judeo
Christian names, or their own metaphor for God, then people are more likely to
connect to God. This exercise can and has also been used in many other pastoral
care counselling situations.
For example, in a similar way this exercise has been used with children who
are afraid of the dark. These children have can be encouraged to paint a picture of
God (or their guardian angel) on: a cuddly, pillow-case, or something else they
may like to take to bed. In this way, as children are taught how to use their picture
as a symbol of Gods being there for them, it has been reported that this helps
children to remain peaceful and calm.
The above intervention has also proved to be a helpful when engaged in Internet video counselling or telephone crisis counselling. If a client has been stuck
with feelings of anxiety or being overwhelmed, including suicidal ideation then

R EFOCUSSING AND G OD S PACES

33

this exercise has proved successful on many occasions. Though sometimes it has
required adaptation, especially when no paper and crayons are close at hand.
In addition, for people, whose concept of God may differ from ones ownfor
various cultural, religious, or other reasons, this simple exercise has also proved
to be very effective. And, especially when coupled with other God Spaces questions research shows that those using God Spaces as part of their counselling when
compared to those using other pastoral care counselling, it was shown the participants image of God improved signicantly. In a study conducted by Sharkey, she
concludes:
In this study, those participants who received RFT [Refocussing Therapy]
made better therapeutic gains than those who received pastoral care alone. The
gains made following RFT were signicant at a p. 001 level across all clinical domains except for alcohol and drug abuse (p = .019) and violence (p = .409). These
gains were in comparison to the predominantly non-signicant gains made by PC
participants. Correlated with these gains were changes to religious coping, positively with the Benevolent God appraisal and Collaboration with God coping style
and negatively with the Spiritual Discontent, and Punishing God Reappraisal coping styles. Participants generally attributed the benets of RFT to the experience
of God in therapy, and to the specic RFT techniques, including the God Spaces.

The case of Russ

God Spaces to help with grief and loss
Russ (51) was diagnosed with cancer and given 1 year to live. Along with his wife
Jill, his church community, and ourselves as pastors, we prayed for Russs healing.
At the same time though, as his pastoral care counsellor, I helped facilitate his own
connection and experience with God so that his own sense of knowing and faith
could be invoked.
This involved many visitations to help him use his God spaces to hear what
God was saying to him. On many occasions, when Russ was asked God Spaces
questions, for example: where is God for you right now? And, what is God
showing, telling or giving you? His responses were very consistent over the
months prior to his death. These included seeing pictures or visions of places
and events in which he saw himself on a white horse charging into a future. He
saw other people in his visions also, and those people were similarly riding white
horses and dressed for battles to come. He wanted to make it clear to me that his
visions were not the result of the drugs he was taking.
Without interpreting his visions, my assumptions, based on what Russ was
telling me, was that the visions could have been interpreted in one of two ways.
The rstwas that he was possibly seeing himself in a healed state, thus indicating

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D IANE D IVETT

he was going to receive an extraordinary healing. The secondwas that he was

possibly seeing himself alongside others in an entirely different realmperhaps a
heavenly realm. However, because Russ did not get any better over the months, it
became clear that his vision was not about an extraordinary healingat least not
this side of heaven. Appropriately then, as his pastoral counsellor, we engaged in
a counselling process that helped Russ, his wife Jill, his children and close church
community prepare for his death. Part of that preparation was achieved by helping
Russ and others to use their own God Spaces to garner Gods resources to walk
through the valley of the shadow of death.
On one particular occasion, Russ was talking about his experience facing cancer in a church service. His wife Jill had asked me to take the church community
through the God Spaces experience because she believed it would be helpful for
them. Rather than provide that transcript in written format, it is included instead
as a brief video link-see www.refocussing.com/godspaces
Accordingly as people experienced cascades of grief, loss, sorrow, anxiety,
and fear (to name a few of the many emotions); accompanied by ever-changing
thought patterns; and even new behaviours; they learned that by using their God
Spaces they would encounter Gods: love, comfort, peace, and hope, which, all
became welcome resources for the journeybefore, immediately after and beyond
Russs death.

Concluding Remarks
Refocussing and God Spaces in particular, as the central aspect of Refocussing, is
a pastoral care counselling approach that is designed to assist people to connect
with, and, encounter God. Therefore, whether as individuals, couples families,
groups or organisations, people are provided with God Spaces as a simple theory
and practice that empowers them to become aware of and then use their own
ways of knowing, their own rituals, language, metaphors, and symbols, to go
where God is for them. Moreover, researchers mentioned in this paper, including
Sharkey, conrm, that because of The effectiveness and uniqueness of [this] Godbased therapy method as people are empowered to engage their own faith with
understanding and congruence, that in so doing, healings, resources and resolution
for peoples unmet needs are highly likely to result.

Advance directives and end of life care planning:

A qualitative study among older adult church members in
a New Zealand city
Noel Tiano

Introduction
Woody Allens famous quote: Im not afraid of dying . . . I just dont want to
be there when it happens seems to sum up most of the views of the twenty four
older adults I interviewed for my research project in Social Work. When I asked
the initial question: would you share a story regarding an end of life care of your
loved one that has made an impact on you? the rst ten participants responded
with a visible physical reaction ranging from surprise to shock such as . . . Oh
no or oh . . . we dont talk about those personal things. One even remarked
that he almost fell off his chair! Having worked with end of life care since my
rst C.P.E. in 1989 and having been a hospice chaplain, it was quite surprising to
learn at the outset that most of the participants had not even heard of the term, advance directives. Cartwright notes that studies addressing advance directives have
mostly been done in the United States (US), followed by Australia (AU), United
Kingdom (UK), Canada, and a very small number from New Zealand (Cartwright,
2007, 114). Nevertheless, in a recent survey, New Zealand ranks third overall behind the UK and Australia in the Quality of Death Index which compares end of
life care services among OECD nations (Economist Intelligence Unit, 2010). In
fact, Glasgow and others (2007) conducted a study of those who died at Dunedin
Public Hospital in 2003 and documented the following cases:
82% had conversations on end of life care
74% had do-not-resuscitate orders (DNRs)
67% of the patients were pain free
So is the issue about death and dying still a taboo in this small progressive country
in spite of its very high marks on the quality of death? Or is the contradiction more
This workshop was based on my masters thesis in Social Work at the University of Otago, New
Zealand. The participants names have been changed to protect their privacy.

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N OEL T IANO

about culture and different ways of communicating regarding their expectations

on end of life care, death and bereavement?
The New Zealand Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers Rights
denes advance directive (AD) as a written or oral directive (a) by which a consumer makes a choice about a possible future health care procedure; and (b) that
is intended to be effective only when he or she is not competent (HDC, n.d.). In
accordance with the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990 s11, consumers have
the right to refuse services and to withdraw consent to services (HDC, n.d.)
such as life sustaining treatments. Advance directives take effect only at the point
when patients are mentally incapacitated and cannot take part in ones health care
decision making. The directives are considered valid if they meet the following
requirements: competency of the patient when the directive was made, no external coercion, sufcient information, and that the patient intended the ADs to be
applicable to the present circumstances (HDC, 1997). Consumers can designate
another person to make decisions on their behalf when they become mentally incompetent through the Enduring Power of Attorney in relation to Personal Care
and Welfare (PPPR Act). This necessitates a legal process and includes the standard fees.
Advance directives can be nullied if patients change their mind or they can
update their preferences periodically. However, the New Zealand Medical Association (NZMA) emphasizes that patients cannot demand assisted dying or euthanasia. Also, if one is under the Mental Health Act, then he or she cannot refuse a
compulsory treatment. Still, an AD can be a benecial tool to promote conversations with providers particularly with regard to reactions to medications, electroconvulsive therapies and the like.
In other countries, they also use terms such as Living Wills or Declaration
to Providers, and Durable Power of Attorney to designate a health care proxy.
Advance care planning refers to the engagement process, conversations about ones
wishes and actual completion of documents.

Review of Literature
The concept of advance directives is underpinned on the ethical principle of autonomy (Jonsen and others, 2006; Werth, 2005; Cohen, 2005). This assumes the
human capacity for self-determination and puts forward a principle that the autonomy of persons ought to be respected (Miller, 2004, p. 246). Furthermore, autonomy posits that a reasonable and competent patient has a right to decide whether
to accept, discontinue or refuse life sustaining treatments which should be without
external coercion (Wareham, McAllin, Dieseld, 2005; Tiano and Beyer, 2005).

A DVANCE DIRECTIVES AND END OF LIFE CARE PLANNING

37

While sense of spirituality has been found to be an inuential factor in AD

completion in one study (Duke, Thompson and Hastie, 2007), nevertheless, tensions exist among diverse religious practices. In the 1960s, two prominent theologians, Paul Ramsey and Joseph Fletcher presented two opposing viewpoints
regarding end of life decision-making. Ramsey argued that the latter needs to include the shared beliefs and values of the patients community whereas Fletcher
insisted that such decisions should be left up to the individual based on his or her
freedom of choice (Cohen, 2005). Most religious groups (e.g. Roman Catholics,
Episcopalians, Lutherans, United Church of Christ, Muslims, Jewish, etc.) leaned
on Ramseys emphasis on connectedness with family, faith tradition and social
context but the U.S. courts tended to favour Fletchers individual autonomy and
right to privacy (Cohen, 2005; Tiano and Beyer, 2005). There is also the tension
between religious advance directives and health care which Grodin (1993) describes as being on a continuum. Some religious communities work outside the
secular health system such as Christian Scientists who depend on prayer alone
without medical intervention and Jehovahs Witnesses who refuse blood transfusions. There are groups that are very protective of their particular practices such as
determination of death. Others identify more with the right to die or the right
to life camps which unfortunately can be quite polarizing.
Dening terms help in clarifying its meaning and usage. For example, the
National Conference of Catholic Bishops (1995) in the U.S. declared that:
a person may forego extraordinary or disproportionate means of preserving life. Disproportionate means are those that in the patients judgment do not offer a reasonable hope
of benet or entail an excessive burden, or impose excessive expense on the family or the
community.

Protestants generally allow withholding or withdrawing of life sustaining treatment for the terminally ill as long as the proper consents are obtained. Many
Orthodox Jews view that an intervention (e.g. respirator) should not be stopped
once it is introduced even in cases of brain death (Tiano and Beyer, 2005). Conservative and Reform Jews, however, may allow discontinuance of life support
including treatments such as articial nutrition and hydration if these are of no
benet to the patient (Dorff, 1998). Still, despite these religious guidelines, ethical dilemmas abound such as whether the removal of the ventilator is active or
passive euthanasia, or whether there is an ethical distinction between withholding and withdrawing feeding tubes. Clinical ethicists including Jonsen, Siegler
and Winslade (2006) now consider the distinctions between ordinary and extraordinary, passive or active, commission or omission as moot and confusing. They
prefer to use the principle of proportionality which states that a medical treatment is ethically mandatory to the extent that it is likely to confer greater benets

38

N OEL T IANO

than burdens upon the patient (p. 141). Hence, ethical decision-making at the end
of life needs to focus on the individual case while weighing in autonomy (patient
preferences), benecence (medical indications), non-malecence (do no harm),
justice (proper use of health care resources) as well as the wider cultural context.
Among the leading factors in AD completion, age is considered the most inuential (Straw and Cummins, 2003; Dinger, 2005; AARP, 2008). In a national
study by Teno and others (2007), 70.8% out of 1,587 participants (mean age of 79
years old) had an advance directive. The 2008 Behavior Risk Factor Surveillance
System (BRFSS) in Nevada, US reveals that 55 years and older had AD completion rates of a little more than 1 out of 2 people or 55.58% (Yang and others,
2008). Other contributing factors include educational interventions (Gina, Dubois
and Wagneur, 2008), conversations between healthcare professionals and patients
(Gordon and Shade, 1999), established primary care physician and personal experience with mechanical ventilation (Morrison and Meier, 2004).

Advantages of advance directives

As mentioned above, completing an advance directive has numerous advantages.
Following the principle of autonomy, it empowers consumers to take more control of their health care decision-making by planning ahead. Informed consent is
stipulated in the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990. ADs also promote conversations regarding the patients preferences and clarication of treatment options.
Instead of merely a health care form to complete, ADs can be a tool to clarify
values, beliefs, and expectations concerning palliative care, organ donation and
hospice care. Some people also add personal letters and videos to augment their
directives. Moreover, beyond end of life care, Tilden and others (2001) found that
AD completion reduced family stress during their time of grief and bereavement
compared with those who did not have prior conversations about their wishes.

Disadvantages of advance directives

Even so, Dr. P. Malpas (2011) of the University of Auckland who favours the use
of ADs expresses concern about health care rationing affecting older adults and
the validity of oral directives which can be reduced to he said/she said especially
during family conicts. Additionally, she insists that the mental capacity of the individual at the time when the AD was completed must be ascertained. Some think
that the concept of advance directives is fundamentally awed (Perkins, 2007)
because medical care changes so rapidly and instructions made previously may
no longer be relevant at the present situation. Besides, the documents may not be
able to cover the specic directions during a future health care crisis (OReilly,
2009). Others fear that advance directives may be a way to cut costs by limiting

A DVANCE DIRECTIVES AND END OF LIFE CARE PLANNING

39

care. Then there are the cultural objections particularly those with communitarian values. Countries such as Japan, China, Italy, and Israel are not just driven
by autonomy but by benecence (Tiano and Beyer, 2005). Physicians in Spain
and Portugal usually make decisions regarding terminal care (Nyman and Sprung,
1997). Carrese and Rhodes (1995) even think that direct discussions may be harmful for the Navajo tribes in the U.S. because of their prevailing belief that negative
information and prognosis can be damaging.
Nevertheless, generally, both proponents and critics agree that in todays technological advances, engaging consumers through culturally appropriate conversations regarding their healthcare wishes can be valuable and benecial (OReilly,
2009; Grodin, 1993). To be sure, policies and legislations need to be reviewed to
ensure mutual recognition of documents across states, adequate safeguards and
guidelines for storage and implementation.

Research Aim
I decided to conduct a study with the aim of exploring older adults perspectives
and reasons for completing advance directives. My research questions were: how
do older adults nd meaning in the end of life care of their loved ones? How does
having a religious background affect older adults views on end of life care? What
were their reasons for completing advance directives? Conversely, what were their
reasons for not completing such directives?
The focus of my research was to have a conversation with older adults, 65
years and above who were members or attendees of NZ churches from Presbyterian, Anglican, Roman Catholic and Christian Church New Zealand. Upon
approval from the University of Otago for my research protocol, I contacted local clergy and chaplains who then referred me to possible interested participants.
Through a process of self-selection, during the months of June to October 2011,
I met with a total of 24 participants through focus groups, couple, and follow-up
individual interviews. The questions were semi-structured, exible and interactive. I audio-taped the sessions and later transcribed them myself which provided
numerous rich opportunities to review and analyze the personal encounters, audio
and written texts.

Methods
Qualitative method
The use of qualitative approaches have been argued and vigorously defended for
a few decades now (Lincoln and Guba, 1985; Denzin and Lincoln, 2008; Lincoln,

40

N OEL T IANO

2010; Barusch, Gringeri and George, 2011). Researchers describe themselves as

postmodernists, poststructuralists and interpretivists. To establish rigor in qualitative research, Lincoln and Guba (1985) proposed several criteria such as credibility, dependability, conrmability, and transferability. I used quite a few strategies (Creswell, 1998) to help ensure credibility, including prolonged engagement
(rapport with participants over a period of time), member checking (transcripts
were shared with interested participants and feedback was obtained), peer review (interactive workshop presented at ICPCC), and triangulation (multiple data
sources, e.g. participant demographics compared with in-depth interviews). To establish conrmability, I used an audit trail (a complete le of raw data, eld notes,
process notes, data reconstruction, etc.) and used thick description (detailed accounts of eld experiences) for transferability. I relied on reexivity to address my
thoughts and feelings during and after the interviews. For content analysis, I used
the conventional approach where themes and categories are directly derived from
the data/transcripts themselves without preconceived codings (Hsieh and Shannon, 2005). Lastly, the narrative approaches (Riessman, 2008; Wells, 2011) have
tremendously helped in further analysing the structure of the conversations.

Limitations of the study.

This research was limited to exploring older adults who were of European/New
Zealand descent and their perspectives on advance directives. References to EPAs
were only included to compare its use with ADs. It did not intend to prove a theory
on self-determination and the sample size is too small to seek generalisable data.
This study was not written from a pastoral care but from a social work perspective.
Lastly, it does not address the cost of health care even though in New Zealand as
in most other nations, the last year of life has been associated with high costs in
health care and service utilization (Chan and others, 2011).

Findings
Participant Prole.
All 24 participants were European-New Zealanders who resided locally. The age
range was from 65 to 89 years old with a mean age of 74.83 years. They were
all physically and mentally active and were receiving retirement/other income
ranging from $11,000 to $51,000+ per year (Tiano, 2012).
Table 1 Gender of participants
Out of 24 participants, 14 (58%) were female and 10 (42%) were male.

A DVANCE DIRECTIVES AND END OF LIFE CARE PLANNING

41

Table 2 AD completion
Four females (17%) and 2 males (8%) completed ADs for a total of 6 (25%). All
6 participants also completed their EPAs.
Table 3 EPA completion
Eight females (38%) and 3 males (8%) completed the EPAs for a total of 11 (46%).
The four oldest participants who were in their 80s all had EPAs.

Responses to research questions

How do older adults nd meaning in the end of life care of their loved ones?
The themes transitioned from an initial unease to profound and touching insights
summarized below.
Discomfort. As briey mentioned in the Introduction, the rst interviewees
expressed much discomfort in talking about the deaths of their loved ones. When
I asked why, a rather perky 85-year old summed it best during a focus group that
she felt it was too personal and that it was really none of her business (or mine). It
seemed from her tone that I was being intrusive. In response, I shared briey about
my father who died in 2009 due to long term chronic illness. He and my mother
had previously written their advance directives; his wishes were respected and he
had a good death at home and in the company of our family (nowadays some
writers prefer the term, good enough death to broaden the concept). Hospice delivered excellent care before, during and after he passed on. After the 10th participant, I changed my opening question to would you share a story about your loved
one in a nursing home? This topic was received with more response and at times
more animation. Among the positive stories were the sense of autonomy, privacy
and space their loved ones enjoyed. One female resident appreciated the fact that
she had a room all to herself and that the staff afforded her with some freedom
including having a glass of sherry at the end of the day. The male residents liked
the fact that their meals were prepared and that they did not have to clean up after
them. Several participants cited the importance of proximity and access to visit
their relatives as well as peace of mind that the facility was secure. Most mentioned about caring staff, or the lack thereof. The negative stories included the
sense of isolation, feeling of institutionalisation, and bad smell. An architect in
the focus group complained that the some of the buildings were cramped and did
not use creative space. A 68-year old woman exclaimed there are too many old
people in the rest homes! They echoed the need for more trained and better paid
workers to improve long term care services. One was very dismayed that the facility did not have staff to understand her mother who was deaf. Stories about their
loved ones in rest or nursing homes easily transitioned into end of life care.

42

N OEL T IANO

Death is a part of life. Lisa who is in her late 60s recalled that her grandmother and mother would tell them lightheared stories about their departed family
members and often would stress how important it is to embrace death as part of
life. She in turn has found it easy to discuss topics about mortality with her children. Interestingly, while her granddaughter was being born, her mother was also
dying at the same hospitalhence, the circle of life. Craig who is 74 years old
shared about their practice of having a ritual for their pets that died. They also had
funerals for their farm animals including chicks and mice.
Timing of death. Betty (67 years old) believed that some people choose
when they die as she talked about the cases of those who expired in the wee hours
of the morning when no one else was in the room. Perhaps, during those quiet and
peaceful moments they were not be bothered by those who would plead with them
to stay on longer. Greg (77 years old) a physician who practised for ten years in
Vanuatu, one of the Pacic islands narrated a touching story regarding self-willed
death. He described as it was commonly heard that when old persons felt ready
to die, they would gather the family, share stories and say their goodbyes. And
having nished their business on earth, would go to their rooms and in a few
days would die. Greg added that there were no heroics and no nursing homes.
How does having a religious background affect older adults views on end of life
care?
Interestingly, the themes were quite sparse at rst when I began grouping their
responses to this question. They became more apparent when I considered the
recurring threads of their beliefs in a non-linear fashion throughout the interview
process.
Beliefs
Sense of contentment
Afterlife
Death preferred than being a vegetable
Need for religious rituals
Prayers and medication go together
Preference to die at home
Sense of fear
Many perceived God to be in control, in-charge with matters pertaining to life
and death, and the ultimate decision-maker. God is the giver of life and youll
go when God says its time for you to go said Shona (89 years old) the oldest
participant. This idea is usually mentioned in contradistinction with suicide and
euthanasia which will be discussed later.

A DVANCE DIRECTIVES AND END OF LIFE CARE PLANNING

43

Rosie (68 years old) believes that people of faith have a sense of contentment which will make it easier for them to let go instead of desperately trying to
cling to life. Earl (74 years old) was not worried about dying because he believes he is going to heaven. He did express concern about his wife though who
is 73 years oldif he dies rst, who will look after her? A majority preferred
a quick death rather than be in an indenite vegetative state due to fear of the
loss of cognitive abilities. This, plus uncontrolled bodily functions led to dependence on others for daily living which meant loss of dignity and being a burden
to the family. To balance the dread of a long and protracted dying, the church
offered meaningful rituals and connectedness with the faith community. The Roman Catholics in the focus group enumerated the advantages of a nursing home
run by the Catholic sisters: the priests provided the sacraments, there were regularly masses and the hymns brought much comfort and familiarity. Best of friends,
Elizabeth (82 years old) and Shona (89 years old) from Christian Churches
New Zealand who are both widows talked much about how the church provided
the much needed spiritual and social support during their bereavement. They also
spoke about joining choirs and singing in nursing homes. For a time, they volunteered with Meals on Wheels and remembered how the folks appreciated not
only the warm food but the visits as well. Shona also had a lot to say about
the role of faith and action. Having worked as a registered nurse, she insisted that
prayers and medications go together. Otherwise, without the latter, ones health
will continue to deteriorate. Several preferred to die at home, instead of a nursing
or rest home. They cited familiarity and good memories of the place as the two
primary reasons. Lastly, Cristina (73 years old) brought up her own sense of
fear uncertainties about dying: will there be much pain? will it happen fast?
and the other unknowns.
Treatment preferences. With regard to treatment preferences, most mentioned
that if they were in a terminal and vegetative condition, they would not want
cardio-pulmonary resuscitation (CPR) but would only request comfort measures
like pain relief. Natural death was the preferred way to go although this was debatable in todays high technology society. Interestingly, quite a few in the Roman
Catholic group, insisted on continued articial nutrition and hydration because
no one should die of thirst or hunger. This was not an issue for other Protestant
participants. Assisted suicide, or euthanasia was unacceptable by almost everyone because of the notion that life is a gift from God. The Roman Catholic group
regarded the former as tantamount to abortion and murder. However, at least one
participant (unknown denomination) said that she would consider shortening her
life if she was in extreme pain, had no dignity (e.g. loss of control of bodily functions) and if she contracted Alzheimers disease. Another was sympathetic with

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her view although she was doubtful that there was a full-proof effective means of
carrying out the procedure(s).

What were their reasons for completing advance directives?

Reasons for AD completion
Death of a spouse
Concern for family/survivors
Autonomysense of control and empowerment
Organised and independent personality
Lyn (75 years old), one of the six who completed an AD said that she only began thinking about her health care directives after the sudden death of Don her
spouse. While Elizabeth (82 years old) and Shona (89 years old) mentioned
above have not yet completed their ADs, they did draw up EPAs after their husbands died. Both enjoy the support from local families. Another widow, Grace
(73 years old) neither had an AD or an EPA but she proudly declared that after her
husband succumbed to leukaemia, she bought a funeral plan and noted that it is
totally paid for. She hopes her daughters will have a big party when she is gone!
Craig (74 years old) who conducted funerals for their pets and animals,
had a practical reason for lling out an AD. He said the reality is that we purchase
travel insurance when we travel, so why not plan ahead for the sake of the children? He expressed concern for his family and did not want them to be worrying
about last minute decisions regarding expenses for medical care and funeral. Thus,
it takes the pressure off of them because the adult children are simply carrying out
their wishes.
A strong theme was that of autonomy. Making some choices prior to a future
health care crisis provided a sense of control and empowerment. Closely related
to this reason was having an organised and independent personality. Lyn was
a teacher for some 30 years and she was diligent in organising her lesson plans
and planning ahead in general. Greg and Barbara worked in the medical eld
and were comfortable in making health care decisions. One of their sons is their
power of attorney for legal matters and their daughter will be their health care
proxy in case they become mentally incapacitated. Betty managed their family
business after her husband died and had to learn how to navigate through the
legal paperwork and complexities of the business organisation. She became more
attentive in looking after her own needs and proactive about her future plans.
Lisa and Craig have long been active in community work; she still serves as
a Justice of the Peace and is a strong advocate in migrants and womens causes.

A DVANCE DIRECTIVES AND END OF LIFE CARE PLANNING

45

What were their reasons for not completing such directives?

The 18 who had not yet completed their ADs cited their reasons (in italics):
Fear of the unknown: you dont know what you dont know
Avoidance: Im going to live forever (song); Im comfortable in my present
circumstances . . . I love my house and veggie garden; Ill think about it when
Im really sick
Family expectations: My family is going to take care of me when the time comes
and theyll make the right decision
Faith in the providers: the doctors will know what is best
Difculty in ascertaining all future options: by then the circumstances and medical technologies might change
Lack of information about ADs: I did not know (or had not heard) about advance directives

Feedback from ICPCC presentation

As mentioned in the Methods section above, one of the strategies to help establish
rigour and credibility in qualitative research is to do a peer review or peer debrieng where the investigator solicits comments and feedback from colleagues
who are not associated with the study. This process expands the discussion about
ADs in other workplace settings and practice disciplines. I presented an interactive workshop regarding this project at the International Congress of Pastoral
Care and Counselling held in Rotorua, New Zealand on 25 August 2011. Eleven
participants attended the workshop which included: 3 M
aori, 3 European/New
Zealanders, 4 Australians, and 1 German. The following were some of their feedback.
Only 1 attendee from Australia signied that he had completed his advance
directives. Three from AU and 2 from NZ indicated some familiarity with ADs
but the rest were unfamiliar with the term. The M
aori chaplains said they did not
need ADs because they have well-dened roles. In the event of a death, everyone
knew what to do: someone was in-charge of the cooking, welcoming, childcare,
cleaning, leading songs, prayers/karakia, funeral services, etc. If someone died in
the hospital, they oftentimes will need a family/wh
anau room to accommodate
sometimes as much as 50 family and relatives. One M
aori chaplain did express
concern about his children especially the oldest son who will be burdened with
his care if he contracted a terminal illness. Hence, he sees the value of having a
family conversation about end of life care.
Hans from Germany said he is more familiar with the term informed consent such as for organ donation. Accordingly, if a patient was in a coma with a

46

N OEL T IANO

terminal condition, the hospital would contact the next of kin to help with health
care decision-making. But if there is no known family, the ethics committee will
be consulted before withholding or withdrawing a procedure.
Shirley from New Zealand did not know about the term either. Being the
youngest in the family, her role has been to defer to the eldest sister. As of late,
she has become uncomfortable about this family expectation and now sees the
need for advance care planning to ensure that her voice is heard for their future
health care needs.
Patty expressed concern about the different AD forms in AU which has
been confusing for her mother who had moved to another state. Max, also from
AU works in an aged care facility and commented that the residents usually have
dementia and are expected to be spending their last days in the facility. As such
they do not need ADs because aggressive treatments such as CPR or surgeries are
not normally provided.
Interestingly, Justin who is a retiree from Queensland, AU mentioned that
he had covered all the bases including an AD, EPA, personal instructions (to
the undertaker), a funeral plan and a draft of his memorial service. The main
motivating factor for him in planning ahead was his health scare some twelve
years ago when his heart stopped and was resuscitated. He found that having had
conversations with his three adult sons regarding his wishes have provided a sense
of relief and freedom.

Summary
Completing an AD is oftentimes a dynamic and ongoing process and never linear.
The document may be voided, changed or updated. This chart below shows how
storytelling can inuence autonomy and decision-making.
The participants stories enabled them to (re)connect with their loved ones on
a fairly deep emotional level. This often raised a whole range of feelings from
sadness, grief, guilt, anger towards negative experiences in rest or nursing homes,
to relief, family connectedness, and satisfaction with support from faith communities. Through family conversations, reections of their experiences and consultations with health care providers, older adults can plan for their future health
care needs. The adult children may be particularly concerned about health care
decisions but do not want to upset their parents. Oftentimes, the former may seek
legal advice which can help nudge parents and grandparents to consider powers of
attorney in case they become incapacitated. This sense of autonomy may then be
expressed through completion of ADs, EPAs, wills, or preferences such as organ
and tissue donation, memorials, and others.

A DVANCE DIRECTIVES AND END OF LIFE CARE PLANNING

47

Recommendations
Here are some practical recommendations to improve conversations on advance
directives:
Older adults in New Zealand may respond better to end of life care planning
using a softer approach such as stories of their loved ones in nursing or rest
homes. ADs should not be reduced to merely another medical or legal form
which consumers are required to complete.
Faith communities can use language that are more consumer-friendly such as
a spiritual inventory which focuses on their members values and perspectives
on what they consider to be quality of care if they developed an advanced illness. Perhaps a cover letter from a religious leader or respected health care
provider can be attached to the AD forms which will introduce the topic in
a way congregants can understand and appreciate. A vital resource is Chaplain Hank Dunns short booklet entitled Hard Choices for Loving People
with practical information regarding CPR, articial feeding, comfort measures
for the elderly patient. A free downloadable version (pdf) can be accessed at
www.hardchoices.com.
Observe a health care planning emphasis once a year which includes ADs and
EPAs. For instance, in May 2011, the Waikato Palliative Care in NZ hosted a
one day seminar for M
aori elders and providers. The rst sessions were devoted to stories shared by elders and their questions concerning end of life care.
The later sessions were led by clinicians focusing on the medical aspects of
palliative care and pain management. The 70 attendees greatly beneted from
the educational and cultural experience and they are planning to replicate this
model in the rural areas.
Work with district health boards, hospices, centres for aging, and other organisations such as Respecting Choices in promoting advance care planning.
Policies and legislation on ADs need to be reviewed periodically. Does an
oral directive carry the same weight as a written directive? The EPAs in New
Zealand is cost-prohibitive for many consumerscan legal aid services be made
available for older adults who need nancial assistance? How do we ensure that
ADs are honoured and recognised in other provinces/countries? Some states in
the U.S. allow for ADs be registered and accessed electronicallyis this the
trend for storing medical records?

48

N OEL T IANO

A Personal Advance Directive

By Rev. Priscilla Denham
If someday I can no longer watch waves stumbling across sand,
hear laughter, recognize my child, profess my love,
or taste the common magic of chocolate on my tongue,
Then I do not want my lungs lled with pre-packaged air,
my stomach given nutrition that does not nurture,
my arms pierced with needles and drugs.
Let me go. Let my soul swim seal-sleek
through the seas of resilient, shimmering memory
rippling through the pleasure, tears and times of my beloveds.
I choose that my body be blessedbrokenshared.
EyesOrgansAshes. If I cannot, then you must. Do this for me.
Do this in remembrance of the One,
the one who taught life eternal is not equivalent to life preserved.
Let me die gracefully, embodying my faith
that a life released as wholly as it was lived,
like milkweed seeds in their wandering fall
or sperm in their exuberant dance
will embrace the deeper joy.
Do not cling to me.
Let my heart be immersed in another life.
I want to love this world again.

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Morrison, S.R., Meier, D.E. (2004). High rates of advance care planning in New York
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4956.

Part II:
An outstanding catastrophy:
a challenge for Spiritual Care

Narrative-Hermeneutical Care
For the Survivors of the Great East Japan Earthquake and Tsunami,
2011
Takaaki David Ito

This is not an academic paper, which I offer after many years of research. It is
simply a reection from the period during the few months after the largest natural
disaster in modern Japanese history. The purpose of this paper is not to share
what was learned and achieved successfully from the experiences of spiritual care
efforts with the survivors of the earthquake and tsunami[1]. In this paper I will,
however, discuss how we were not prepared for this particular area of ministry,
while at the same time I will address the ongoing processes that spiritual care
providers have developed to create effective healing visions and outreach methods
for caring out of this particular situation of disaster.
There is a multitude of available research material to serve as a reference for
spiritual care providers who must meet the needs of the victims of disasters, with
quite a few resources published as part of the spiritual care giving response to
9/11 survivors in the United States as well as to the survivors of the 2004 Sumatra
Earthquake and Tsunami[2]. Furthermore, some psychological studies in Japan
occurred as part of the national reection on the 1995 Kobe earthquake. However,
no one in Japan, a mostly secular state, would have imagined that spiritual care
become the central focus of disaster care in this situation. Up until now, historically, spiritual care providers were not been able to perform that expected care
effectively, mainly because they lacked presence and connectedness with the people.

I
I will begin by highlighting some of the major historical and socio-cultural analyses of spirituality in Japan as well as that of disaster response and recovery as part
of the background information.

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TAKAAKI DAVID I TO

During the rst half of the 20th century, State Shinto, a militantly reinterpreted
traditional animistic religion guided largely Japanese political ideology and educational policies. My grandparents generation was raised under this system and
was educated by this worldview in society, at school and at home. For example,
this view taught that the Emperor was the Father of the nation and that it was an
honor for anyone to die for him. The Imperial Rescript on Education (1890)[3],
or the Kyoiku Chokugo, was the legal foundation for this ideology, which ruled
the people of Japan seemingly effectively until 1945 at the end of World War II.
More than two generations of Japanese were educated under this ideology.
After World War II ended, Japan formed a new constitution under the strong
inuence of an idealistic American democratic vision. As part of the cultural reaction to the pseudo-religious political ideology of the previous period, Japan imposed upon itself a very strict code of divisions between religion and the state.
This code became not only a legal principle, but also a cultural norm. Thus, for
the last 66 years, it has been more or less taboo in Japan for its citizens to discuss any religious issues publicly. Issues of belief and spirituality have, therefore,
been allocated to the private sphere. Three generations have passed in this social
situation, which has been a large-scale social experiment in how a human community can develop without a solid connection either to religious or to spiritual
discussion. Religious organizations therefore played limited roles as centers for
community in Japan. Most Japanese people regard Buddhist temples and Shinto
shrines only as places to perform traditional religious rituals and customs. They
did not typically rely on those potential spiritual nuclei as places for foundational
support and care, until the time of the earthquake and the tsunami.
Japanese people, for the most part, were previously reluctant to speak and to
study spirituality because this is considered a private matter more in the realm
of aesthetics, if not fashion, rather than as a credible intellectual topic. The distorted sense of individual as well as communal spirituality became manifest in
two phenomena: on the one hand, the percentage of the population that claimed
to be Buddhist and traditional Shintoist was surveyed at more than 150% of the
actual population in Japan[4], meaning that many counted more than one tradition
for their faith/religious practices without being concerned about the implication on
the outcome. On the other hand, Christians consist of less than 2% of the Japanese
population, possibly the lowest percentage of participation in the so-called free
world. Moreover, the 1995 terrorist activities of the Aum cult group added a more
negative connotation to religion in the mind of most Japanese people.
Even at the time of the Hanshin-Awaji (Kobe) Earthquake in 1995, another
disaster, which occurred in the living history of contemporary Japan, the main
discussion centered on the importance of psychological care, such as for trauma,
PTSD, or grief. Not surprisingly due to the previously mentioned religious and

NARRATIVE -H ERMENEUTICAL C ARE

55

social circumstances, there was little social demand for religious and/or spiritual
care at that time.
The 2011 Great East Japan Earthquake and subsequent Tsunami were, however, different in light of the following aspects. As I noted from the experience of
the earthquake and tsunami in Sumatra in 2004, the impact of such a giant tsunami
is cruel. The people who survive experience
Loss of their loved ones
Loss of their homes and physical buildings
Loss of home
Loss of the things they cherished, tokens of memories
Loss of their community
Loss of their jobs
The multiplicity of these losses hits the core of the identities and the being of the
survivors; it seemed that for each survivor, their very being itself was at stake.
With the earthquake, tsunami and subsequent nuclear disaster, for the rst time
in modern Japanese history, survivors faced the situation where nothing less than
holistic spiritual care needed to be prioritized. Care providers sensed a huge cry
for spiritual care among the Japanese since these surmounting disasters struck.
Although these cries were covert, from the beginning the faith community responded immediately and without hesitation, even without any ready resources
and experiences: Japanese religions groups and organizations were reported to
have initiated more than 500 activities. This was, indeed, the rst time in Japanese
history when spiritual care was requested to such a large degree and when religions and other faith-based organizations responded without regard to their institutional, doctrinal, and creedal differences. Nevertheless, prior spiritual caring
abilities by religious and spiritual communities in Japan were considered to be
minimal. Six generations of neglecting a healthy relationship with spirituality required a process of complete regeneration.
The people of Japan reacted to these disasters across a natural spectrum of
emotional responses, initiating whatever actions they could offer as part of the
immediate response to the devastation. This period during the aftermath was the
most appropriate time for the people to begin to examine the quality and the effectiveness of the spiritual care that was being offered and received. This essay
serves as part of this process of self-reection concerning the importance of spiritual care-giving engagement with core care practices.
Those who lived in the tsunami-hit area developed another set of unique spiritual care issues. Previously, many Japanese viewed the area of Tohoku, which
literally means the north-east, unconsciously as a backward part of the country.
The culture of Tohoku is rooted deeply in ancient Jomon culture[5], named after
the characteristics of the pottery excavated from the Neolithic era. The Jomon cul-

56

TAKAAKI DAVID I TO

ture was once believed to be primitive and inferior, for example as the barbarian
enemy, which was conquered by the advanced agrarian culture constituting
the Japanese Imperial lineage. Historically speaking, Japanese political powers
perceived this region as an insubordinate geographical location, which was beyond the peripheral range of the priorities of their reign. In fact, the ofcial full
title given to the supreme military rulers, the Shogun, which was passed down
from the time of the 12th through the 19th centuries, were Seii Tai Shogun, the
Commanders-in-chief of the Japanese conquerors to the north, i.e. Tohoku. Recent studies have, however, discovered more deeply the richness of the Jomon
culture. The people of the Tohoku region have endeavored to regain their identities and cultural pride during the last 20 years. The earthquake and the tsunami hit
this region hard in terms of wounding the hearts of those who had just begun to
experience the richness of this process of authentic cultural regeneration. It was,
therefore, noteworthy for spiritual care providers who entered that area to expect
different faceted outgrowths of spiritual regeneration in the midst of a deeper process of cultural regeneration.
It is also important to note the vital contributions of the sher culture in the
Tohoku coastal region. Their lifestyle, community, values and world-view are very
different from those of the typical Japanese agrarian culture. Any political representation of their voices in the modern central Japanese government has been minimal. Undoubtedly, this group of people developed its belief systems and rituals
according to daily life, as did our Maori brothers and sisters in New Zealand. However, efforts towards modernization over the past 150 years and the post war emphasis on secularization and privatization of religious and traditional values have
made their spiritual framework shakier. The earthquake and following tsunami
have deeply impacted this region, which has experienced a series of multiple neglected layers in terms of its geography, culture, social make-up and political and
religions practice.
Therefore, any spiritual care providers working in the eld in this region,
needed to maximize their sensitivity to the needs of the people and to provide
a more empowering presence, in order to identify the peoples own spiritual resources, which they themselves might otherwise have lost.

II
For me, I value the Narrative-Hermeneutical framework for spiritual care
providers, which proposes that whenever human beings attempt to make sense
of their experiences, they must be able to face their own living histories[6]. The
central elements they tap into to reveal these stories, are stored in the conscious
and unconscious memories of each individual, which have been acquired through

NARRATIVE -H ERMENEUTICAL C ARE

57

their personal life experiences in society and in relationships. These narratives

are, in this sense, constructed both socially and personally. This style of narrative is less monologue, and more authentic as a form of communication. Patients,
clients, guests and other people spiritual care providers visit professionally do
not just share whatever ideas form in their mind. Any narrative develops at the
moment a human being encounters anyone who listens. These moments become
kairos moments for any narrator as opportunities to make fuller sense of the deeper
meaning and theme of his/her life within the context of a supportive community.
Consequently, each persons story is different according to the listeners, namely
the spiritual care providers, prioritizing their empathy to truly listen at the deeper
level of what is being said and expressed through their presence, their values,
and their levels of understanding. The best narrator recounts his/her story as a
dialogue with him/herself as well as with the listener. In this sense, the listener,
or the spiritual care provider, serves as the co-narrator or co-creator of the narrative. Spiritual care providers are, thus, the best professionally trained partners
with whom to share this realm of dynamic narrative dialogue.
I entitle this approach Narrative-Hermeneutical due to a simple truth found
in Hans-Georg Gadamers theoretical framework[7]: in order to make oneself understood, a person has to speak so the listener can understand the story. Furthermore, an attentive listener must attempt to understand not only from what is said
but also from where and on what grounds the narrator is speaking. In order to best
understand each other, both the listener and the narrator must pass through their
matter-of-fact framework towards building a more uniquely common stage of
meaning for that particular dialogue, or at least they must both attempt to do so.
This is my understanding of Gadamers prioritizing the fusion of horizons.
Both active and attentive listening have therapeutic qualities because they facilitate a deeper reection on the part of the narrator, because she or he must relativize his/her experiences. On the part of the listener, rigorous reective practice is
a necessary prerequisite to provide authentic spiritual care. As professionals, spiritual care providers must be constantly aware of the processes that transform their
own perspectives and through which emerge common understanding and meaning
for those with whom they dialogue. It is, thus, their responsibility to proceed from
the basis of their own framework of understanding and to follow the lead of the
narrator, namely to initiate self-transformation, as a means to attempt to understand the truth the narrators are explaining from their view of the horizon. This
reective practice must happen immediately as soon as a connective relationship
is formed, so that spiritual care providers can become personal role models of
self-transformation to their partners in the dialogue.
It is impossible to hear the stories of others without formulating our own prejudices. Only through rigorous preparation can professional spiritual care providers

58

TAKAAKI DAVID I TO

or professional listeners become more aware of intellectual, emotional or spiritual

prejudices. In other words it is vitally important for spiritual care providers to develop a clearer understanding of the framework from which they engage with the
world in general and with caregiving, more specically. They are required to abandon their primary framework in order to build common ground with the narrator.
The core of any training for spiritual care professionals must, therefore, always
include a process of self-reection, which reveals the prejudicial orientation of
the construction of their worldviews.
As a footnote, interfaith ministries, such as take place when Christian spiritual
care providers visit Buddhist patients in the hospital, are vitally important not only
for constructive interfaith relations, but also as a model for how the rest of the
world should live, in that they must leave behind their own preconceptions for the
sake of developing deeper meaning and understanding in the midst of any of the
bonds they might form with others.

III
I will now reveal some examples of frameworks/prejudices that might be helpful
for spiritual care providers to address in the midst of caring for survivors of the
Japanese earthquake and tsunami, through reemphasizing their roles beyond serving as role models who make sense of the experiences of other people. Inevitably,
their goal becomes one of adapting as their platforms and perspectives progress
beyond their own self-identication so they can connect with the narrators worldview. They become in that sense, dialogue genres instituted with the expectation
that they must shed light on the inner experiences of people who have faced major difculties. Those who choose the calling to become spiritual care providers
must be prepared to approach unimaginably unique and deep experiences of other
persons, by using these particular genres of care as guidelines. These genres can
serve as probes touching on the realities of the spectra of human experiences.
Spiritual care providers have served as metaphorical doors in their openness to
approach the depths of the experiences of Japanese tsunami survivors, becoming
an example of chaos narrative and an additional narrative form, which lacks an
English equivalent to describe it, which both participants must become mute, as
their primary means of expression. Therefore, the narrators must require active
listening on the part of spiritual care providers.
The latter form of narrative is, in essence, the expression of a deep sense of
wordless despair. It follows along the path of an overarching numbing awareness
in which the narrator realizes in the midst of a traumatic situation that he or she
is no longer the protagonist of their present story, that he or she might have become simply a passersby in someone elses story, and lastly, that there is no story

NARRATIVE -H ERMENEUTICAL C ARE

59

for him or her to recount. The human role as primary narrator for their personal
stories and identities decreases in this traumatic detour from his or her story. The
story may describe the situation of the ruler, of a company, of human nature. The
story might be about Mother Nature, or about God. Imagine that as an extra representing one of thousands of enemy soldiers in the movie Lord of the Rings your
only role in the story is to be squashed by a monstrous elephant from the far corner
of the screen. The director of the movie might even decide to cut that scene. What
would it be like if you felt that way in real life, in which your thoughts, your feelings, your relationships, your family, your dreams, your hopes and your history
all become suddenly irrelevant because you realize you are no longer the meaningful character in the story you live. This realization requires an extraordinary
empathetic ability, especially for spiritual care providers to sense the gravity of
that despair. There is no proper name to describe these people other than foils,
according to the Oxford Dictionary of English denition:
noun
2. A person or thing that contrasts with and so emphasizes and enhances the qualities of
another:
a thin leaf of metal placed under a precious stone to increase its brilliance
origin Middle English: via Old French from Latin folium leaf.

Human foils are, thus, as dispensable and as exchangeable as autumn leaves

falling from a tree. In the midst of the earthquake and the tsunami, men and
women became just like leaves without identities. Many of them just simply
washed away into the ocean, with their narratives and identities washed out with
the tide. Those individuals who remained who witnessed this massive loss of community and personal identity through the instantaneous loss of life were seemingly
confronted by the deep despair represented by the foil.
For another example, it would be possible to imagine oneself in the throng of
those who were not chosen to board Noahs Ark? It would be equally impossible
for a person to place her/himself in the following familiar story in the Hebrew
Scripture about the Passover?
At midnight the Lord struck down all the rstborn in the land of Egypt, from the rstborn
of Pharaoh who sat on this throne to the rstborn of the prisoner who was in the dungeon,
and all the rstborn of the livestock. Pharaoh arose in the night, he and all his ofcials and
all the Egyptians; and there was a loud cry in Egypt, for there was not a house without
someone dead.
(Exodus 12:29)

Try to imagine yourself as an ordinary Egyptian whose son was killed suddenly by
God. You have nothing personally to do with what is happening between Moses

60

TAKAAKI DAVID I TO

and Pharaoh. How would you feel? Likely the rst emotions to ood through your
being might include emptiness, a sense of loss of identity, an acute realization
that all life has no value and no meaning, in other words, a sudden awareness
of your own niteness. This emptiness might lead you to comprehend that the
narrative story line you thought you were living is just a delusion. The reality is
that you have suddenly come to terms with the fact that you are just a passerby in someone-elses story (Natures or Gods story) without your experience or
existence having any signicant worth.
This is a common experience of those who have suffered from senseless accidents, crimes, assaults, abuses, as well as disasters such as earthquakes and
tsunamis. A sense of emptiness emerges from the very core of ones being, developing into feeling I am not part of the accepted reality.
How can spiritual care providers minister to those who have crashed up against
this existential dead-end and who feel that they are just foils, no longer protagonist
contributors to a greater story of the universe? Unlike the Maori or the Indians who
may argue with their gods, in such situations, Japanese people do not typically cry
out to their gods. They know, somewhere deep in their minds that they live in the
midst of natures story and that they are indeed, natures foils. They consider nature to be the master of the world. In essence, Japanese people accept readily that
people are always the foils to the larger powers in the world. The theme of many
Japanese texts of classical literature incorporates the very real sense of insecurity and the reality of the uid nature of all beings and existence. Nevertheless,
knowing this profound reality cannot ever ease the pain of loss, confusion and
numbness on the part of the survivors.
There are some very important theological resources for the care to those who
despair of the foil. Jrgen Moltmann[8] invites theologians and ministers to meditate on the abysmal deep despair of the forsaken person of Jesus. He drops a
clue in his discussion that spiritual care providers should be present with those
who experienced and who have survived the earthquake and the tsunami.
Moreover, Shelly Rambo[9] attempts to present the image of trauma/death/
chaos as the foil, by introducing the visionary theologian Hans Urs von Balthasars image of Holy Saturday, the day in-between Good Friday and Easter. He
proclaims that Jesus experienced suffering as one who was truly forsaken and
that he had no anticipation of his bodily resurrection. In that realm, he would
have felt total fear and a deep despair with no tranquility or calm. He was simply
going to die in a chaotic and an amorphous manner. Rambo, just as Moltmann,
does not read the passion narrative as a heros story, because she challenges that
Jesus experience of death was not that of a hero. Jesus personhood was simply
trivial and he became a foil of history on Holy Saturday. Instead of experiencing
a seamless liturgical shift from Friday to Sunday in a celebration mood, then,

NARRATIVE -H ERMENEUTICAL C ARE

61

humanity must stop to face the God-given image of the reality of death and despair
in the midst of life. Most institutional churches have, thus far, failed theologically
to provide liturgical acts or rituals to enable a deeper meditation to happen. Rambo
invites us to meditate on our own deaths. Following her guidance, only a deep
and focused meditation on Jesus experience of that Saturday can help bridge the
experience of the foil.
The core of narrative-hermeneutical care is witnessing to the narrative experience. Care providers wait, while engaging in a continuous dialogical process that
regenerates meaning, revealing that in understanding the dynamism of the foil
experience, we may become better witnessing listeners.

IV
Arthur W Frank nds another genre, which adds the nal piece to the puzzle
of effective spiritual care giving, in Chaos Narrative[10]. This is one of three
models of illness narrative he presents: restitution narrative, chaos narrative, and
quest narrative.
Chaos narrative is not necessarily an authentic narrative because it lacks structure, order, and logic. Chaos narrative consists typically of the untellable silence alternated with the insistent and then repetitions. Experience behind chaos
forms the raw reality of human existence. It spans beyond coherent comprehension and structured description. Chaos narrative, or, rather, utterance, is the uncontrollable human reaction in front of raw reality, as Jean-Paul Sartre[11] attempted
to describe in his existential philosophical literary genre. Often people, who have
developed their own chaos narrative, recognize that the daily-accepted order of social life is false and that truth is found, rather, in the darkness of chaos. To offer
an analogy from the Hebrew Scripture, they have glimpsed the face of Yahweh.
Apparently, up until this point, I have not revealed any simple solution or easy
path out of the despair of the foil or away from chaos. I believe that the task of
spiritual care providers is, in fact, to provide nothing. We are called to witness
to life in the midst of vulnerability. This is where the spirit moves in the life of
vulnerable human beings.
As a means of not over-generalizing this reality, interestingly, the spiritual
care providers who have not necessarily been welcomed by survivors of this earthquake come, ironically, from Kobe, the area that experienced the previous massive
earthquake. Those spiritual care providers visited Tohoku with unconscious expectations and a sense of moral responsibility, with the notion that they understood
the people because of their previous personal experience of disaster. The reality
is that people who are still in the midst of experiencing despair as the foil, and

62

TAKAAKI DAVID I TO

who are surrounded by chaos, do not like to be told, I understand. Since they
themselves do not understand. How is it possible for others to do the same?
Tohoku is an area, which has experienced deep level of cultural regeneration with multiple initiatives being launched to restore their cultural heritage. The
Great East Japan Earthquake and Tsunami hit the most vulnerable part of Japan.
People need support not just to recover from the actual damage caused by the
disaster, but also to build their cultural identity from now into the future. At the
same time, the disaster invites Japanese religious leaders and potential spiritual
care providers to be regenerated in their new calling as socially engaged spiritual
practitioners.
The process of the restoration of the people of Tohoku and that of the development of spiritual care providers is, in fact, parallel. Both need to listen to narratives
originating with their own deep roots. Any profound self-reection based on dialogue with the forces of darkness will lead inevitably to transformation. Their
course within this process will not be simple nor will it be straight. Timing is important, but hastiness must be avoided. In light of these revelations, I hope for the
restoration of the spirit that is possible only through deep, rich communion between people seeking their legitimate cultural and religious heritage and through
the potentially regenerative and transformative power of narrative.

Bibliography

[1] The Great East Japan Earthquake and Tsunami also caused the largest nuclear
accident at the Fukajima Nuclear Power Plant, which has had a devastating
impact on humans, the environment and the Pacic Ocean. While I have not
had space to address this crisis, it is very much on my mind, therefore I intend
to discuss this issue in a separate paper.
[2] Annette M. La Greca, et al. (eds.), Helping Children Cope With Disasters and
Terrorism. (Washington, DC.: American Psychological Association, 2002).;
Ani Kalayjian and Dominique Eugene (eds.), Mass Trauma and Emotional
Healing Around the World: Ritual and Practices for Resilience and MeaningMaking. 2 vols. (Santa Barbara: Praeger, 2010); Stephen B. Roberts and
Willard W. C. Ashley Sr. (eds.), Disaster Spiritual Care: Practical Clergy
Responses to Community, Regional and National Tragedy (Vermont: Skylight
Path, 2008).
[3] The ofcial translation (English, French, German and Chinese) was published
in 1909, by The Department of Education, Japan.
[4] Japanese government statistical data of 2009 counts 108,427,100 Shintoists,
87,506,504 Buddhists and 2369484 Christians, whereas the total Japanese
population for that year was about 125,820,000.
http://www.e-stat.go.jp/SG1/estat/List.do?lid=000001070844
http://www.stat.go.jp/data/nihon/02.htm
[5] Concerning the uniqueness and developed nature of the Jomon culture, see T.
David Ito, Contradictions in Heritage: Pastoral Care and Counselling for the
21st Century in Christian Studies Vol. 38 (2002, St. Andrews Momoyama
Gakuin University), pp.27-43.
[6] Rita Charon, Narrative Medicine: Honoring the Stories of Illness (Oxford
University Press, 2008).

64

BIBLIOGRAPHY

[7] In addition to many well-known works, I would like to footnote: Hans-Georg

Gadamer, The Enigma of Health: The Art of Healing in a Scientic Age (Stanford University Press, 1996).
[8] Jrgen Moltmann, The Crucied God: The Cross of Christ as the Foundation
and Criticism of Christian Theology (Fortress Press, 1993).
[9] Shelly Rambo, Spirit and Trauma: A Theology of Remaining (Westminster
John Knox, 2009)
[10] Arthur W Frank, The Wounded Storyteller: Body, Illness, and Ethics (University of Chicago Press: Kindle edition 1995).
[11] Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea (New York: New Directions, 2007). Originally
published in French in Paris 1938.

Part III:
Gender aspects, body and well-being:
questioning Pastoral Care and
Counselling for individual and social
solutions

The perspective of cura corporis within the international

social medias quest for bodyism and healthism:
towards a pastoral hermeneutics of the interplay between
male physicality (integrative physical well-being) and
compassionate intimacy (pastoral healing)
Danil Louw

Abstract
The basic presupposition of the article is that the deconstruction of male power
in the gender debate is contributing to the so called crisis of males. Stripped from
their traditional role functions and bombarded by the mass medias promotion
of the concept of hegemonic masculinity (the athletic male body as a mark of
power and moral superiority) males are becoming more and more confused, or
in poor communities, even more violent. It has become a dominant, global idol
that men should be strong and behave according to the Rambo-Schwarzeneggerimage: powerful, strong, rude and fearless as terminators. An integrative approach to physical well-being is proposed within the parameters of the Christian
spiritual framework of compassionate intimacy.
As a by-product of culture, and as a societal construction1 , one can say that
the notion of masculinity goes hand in hand with social role functions2 as well
as personal and public self-esteem3 . Male images are therefore to a large extent

Prof D J Louw, Faculty of Theology, University of Stellenbosch, South Africa, Email: djl@sun.
ac.za
D. Galasinski, Men and the Language of Emotions (New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2004),
p. 81.
Galasinski (Men and the Language of Emotions pp. 1217) refers to stereotypes in this regard.
The saying that men cannot be emotional; men dont cry, is a grossly oversimplication. On
masculinity as a social, hypothetical construct, see J.S. Kahn, Introduction to Masculinities
(Chichester/Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2009), pp. 23.
See for example the role of the English gentleman, M. Cohen, Fashioning Masculinity. National
Identity and the Language in the Eighteenth Century (London/NewYork: Routledge, 1996),
pp. 2641.

68

DANIL L OUW

social constructs feed by cultural frameworks. Because of cultural differences sociologists prefer the plural masculinities4 .
At stake is the question: what should be a pastoral response to hegemonic masculinity5 ? Is it possible to merge current male images to a Christian spiritual view
on being male? Is it possible to reframe masculinities and the current emphasis on
physicality from an eschatological perspective on male identity?
It will be argued that male identity, as reframed by the phronesis of Biblical
wisdom-thinking, can offer a new and different paradigm for the understanding of
gender and masculinity. The challenge for a pastoral theology and anthropology
will be how to link strong terminators to the weakness of a vulnerable disempowered God, what Paul calls: the folly and foolishness of God. How can a shift
from Ceasar and Zeus to cross and resurrection be merged with males quest for
strength and the courage to be?

Images in culture and media6 and the crisis of masculinities

Within the HIV and AIDS discourse the link between gender paradigms7 and the
fuelling of the HIV & AIDS endemic has become a burning issue. To certain
extent the pandemic has become a male issue and revealed anew the current
crisis of masculinities.
In his book The three Letter Plague. A Young Mans Journey through a Great
Epidemic8 J Steinberg responds to the alarming statement: Where there is AIDS
there is blame. The discourse on HIV and AIDS has become without any doubt a
4

It is indeed difcult to pinpoint what is meant by masculinity. Scholars therefore rather refer to
masculinities because of different social patterns of masculinity. I. M. Harris, Messages Men
Hear: Constructing Masculinities (London: Taylor and Francis, 1995), p. 104.
According to T. Carrigan, et al. Toward a new Sociology of Masculinity, in: P. F. Murphy ed.,
Feminism and Masculinities (Oxford: University Press, 2004), 151165 at 153 the differentiation of masculinities is psychological, but also institutional and an aspect of collective practice.
Hegemonic masculinity is to impose a particular denition on other kinds of masculinity (154).
On hegemonic masculinity see also N. Edley, M. Wetherall, Men in Perspective. Practice, Power
and Identity (London/New York: Prentice Hall. 1995), p. 129.
The media even create a new sense of religion, i.e. humans search for meaning. For the role of
the internet in this regard, see G. Meier, Religion meets Internet. Pldoyer fr einen differenzierten Umgang mit einem neuen Forschungsfeld inBerliner Theologische Zeitschrift, 23, Heft
2, (2006), pp. 177284.
P. Bird, Missing Persons and Mistaken Identities. Women and Gender in Ancient Israel (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1997), p. 172, (1997: 172) denes gender as a dimorphic classication
based on observed genital differentiation. When expressed in sexuality, gender is exhibited in
a wide range of physical and psychological forms, and an even wider range of behavioural and
attitudinal variables.
J. Steinberg, Three Letter Plague. A Young Mans Journey through a Great Epidemic Johannesburg (Cape Town: Jonathan Ball, 2008), p. 6.

Cura Corporis WITHIN THE SOCIAL MEDIA S QUEST FOR BODYISM

69

public issue9 . It fuels the following question: Whom does the society blame?
AIDS has given rise to accusation10 . With reference to Lusikisiki, an Eastern
Province District in South Africa, Steinberg reveals the crisis of male identity
and sexuality within the setting of a traditional, rural village.
According to Steinberg11 it is men particularly whose moral credibility and
even identity is most acutely called into question. Sidib12 is therefore convinced
that mens active involvement could unlock the main obstacles in the HIV and
AIDS response.
Without any doubt the HIV & AIDS pandemic has put male identity anew
under the public spotlight. It is clear that male sexuality is under huge pressure.
The confusion of male identity is according to Rutherford13 inter alia due to a cultural context wherein wayward sons and failed fathers are trying to re-invent the
Victorian paterfamilias, a gure who could enforce oedipal and family structures,
ensuring social stability through a period of demographic upheaval.
The case of Lusikisiki reveals what one can call the crisis of masculinities.
It puts the following question on the table: if male identity is in both the global
gender discourse and the HIV & AIDS endemic constantly being questioned, how
should a pastoral theology respond to the dominating paradigms still in operation
within the public discourse on the meaning of being male and human physicality? What then are the dominating images and how are they linked to existing
paradigms lurking in a very subtle way in the mass media?
Horrocks14 refers to the crisis of masculinity when he points out that males feel
powerless in our contemporary society. Under the pressure of the gender debate,
and the demand to come in contact with their feminine side, men are becoming
more and more uncertain of themselves. They often escape in a very articial
mode of being. Even tend to behave more violently in their attempt to destroy their

10
11
12

13
14

Perceptions regarding how men should behave and express their being male (masculinities)
determine behaviour and contribute without any doubt to the HIV & AIDS pandemic. Men
and boys are supposed to be strong, have many sexual partners, get what they want through
forms of aggression and have a lack of sensitivity for feelings. The strict gender norms hinder
dialogue, healthy relationships and positive sexual relations. RFSU, Tell me more! Childrens
Rights and Sexuality in Context of HIV & AIDS in AfricaThe Swedish Association for Sexual
Education (RFSU: Sweden, 2007), p. 15.
Steinberg, Three Letter Plague. A Young Mans Journey through a Great Epidemic, p. 6.
Steinberg, Three Letter Plague. A Young Mans Journey through a Great Epidemic, p. 326.
M. Sideb, The Future of AIDS starts Today, in Outlook. Special Section. State of the AIDS
Response, no 2, July, (2010), pp. 3233.
Rutherford, Mens Silence. Predicaments in Masculinity.
R. Horrocks, Masculinity in Crisis. Myths, Fantasies and Realities (New York: St Martins
Press, 1994), p. 143. See also A. Clare, On Men: Masculinity in Crisis (London: Chatto &
Windus, 2000).

70

DANIL L OUW

vulnerable side and sensitivity. Within poor communities, due to unemployment

and disrupted social structures, they become desperate.
Within the patriarchal society, male identity was xed and prescribed. Suddenly within a postmodern and global society every part of our being human is
subjected to severe scrutiny and processes of radical deconstruction. Males are
therefore becoming more exposed to public criticism. It results in an existential
crisis an uncertain self-esteem. Who am I and what is my purpose and function in
life? These questions reveal a possible spiritual emptiness and confusion.
Could it be that men are trapped in a void empty space of nothingness (nausea) as forecasted by Jean-Paul Sartre15 ? Are men forced by the current gender
debate into indifference, confusion and uncertainty? This negative which is the
nothingness of being and the nihilating power both together, is nothingness16 .
Are men the endangered species in a capitalistic vacuum doomed to respond
with absurdity17 ? According to Camus absurdity is the equivalent of philosophical
suicide. The absurd man is told that nothing is. This at least is the only certainty.
He wants to nd out if it is possible to live without appeal. It is a constant confrontation between man and his own obscurity18 . And in many of the poor townships in South Africa young males live within the desperate situation of hopelessness and philosophical suicide with as only alternative of becoming violent,
rapists and hijackers.
In most of the magnicent bestsellers of the prolic South African author,
Wilbur Smith, the male hero is described as a lm star with at belly, muscled
arms, and well-dened legs. The powerful, rangy body with the dark coarse hair
covering his chest and exploding in ak bursts in his armpits- this, together with
the power of his presence.19
This powerful body-image is promoted by many male magazines. For example, the international magazine, Mens Health, projects instant and quick masculinity as something you achieve through hard exercise, diet, the development of
brain power, going to the gym and capital investment.
On the cover page of the South African publication of Mens Health the following inscriptions illustrates the argument at stake:
Give her the body youve always wanted20 ; Seduce her the way she
wants21 ; Get in bed with the sex experts22 ; Read het lthy mind. Glut15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22

J-P. Sartre, Being and Nothingness (New York: Citadel Press, 1968), p. 54.
Sartre, Being and Nothingness, p. 54.
A. Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus (London: Hamish Hamilton, 19653) , p. 29.
Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus, p. 47.
W. Smith, Hungry as the Sea (London: Pan Books, 1979), 130.
Mens Health (September 1999).
Mens Health (January 2000).
Mens Health (April 2000).

Cura Corporis WITHIN THE SOCIAL MEDIA S QUEST FOR BODYISM

71

tony, sport, chaos; A world without women23 ; Rock star sex. Power, rhythm,
squeals24 ; Sex so good. The neighbours will complain25 ; 30 Red-hot sex confessions; Her secret lust list. 13 instant health checks26 ; Killer ABS, Kinky sex,
Less fat, Bigger muscles, Extra energy, Instant cures, Smarter style27 ; Superhero, The better sex workout, Build the body shell beg for, Boost your brain
power28 ; Six-pact ABS, The best places for a quickie29 ; Instant health xes,
The sex diaries of real women30 ; The sex of your dreams, Easy health xes,
Sleep your way to success. Best foods for instant energy31 ; A body like this guy,
Money, power, respect, Sex all year long32 .
These images promote a kind of instant masculinity which is closely related
to physique, power and sexual dominance. In a very subtle way it promotes a new
kind of public idol which maintains the image of the powerful male hero.
According to Peterson33 the crisis of masculinity should be understood as an
aspect of a broader crisis, i.e. the crisis of modernity and its severe critique of
every mode of categories34 . The new society breads the Rambo-idol; Rambo as
the aggrieved adolescent son who smarts in sullen silence at the injustices done to
him by the older man35 .
Wermke36 points out the role of the media in projecting a very specic image
of maleness37 : the mythical role of the hero and the impact of power and violence
in this regard. The mythical role of the hero is closely related to the motive of
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33

34

35
36

37

Mens Health (August 2000).

Mens Health (March 2001).
Mens Health (October 2001).
Mens Health (April 2004).
Mens Health (February 2006).
Mens Health (March 2006).
Mens Health (April 2009).
Mens Health (March 2009).
Mens Health (June 2009).
Mens Health (January 2010).
A. Petersen, Unmasking the Masculine. Men and Identity in a Sceptical Age (London: Sage
Publications, 1998), 15.
Life is becoming a kind of Dead Poets Society: Something of a romance of the wounded
son. The failure of the father was enacted in the boys self-destruction J. Rutherford, Mens
Silence. Predicaments in Masculinity (London/New York: Routledge, 1992), p. 173.
Rutherford, Mens Silence. Predicaments in Masculinity, p. 178.
M. Mythos, Gewalt und Religion. Ein Beitrag zur mythentheoretischen Analyse des populren
Kinolms in Berliner Theologische Zeitschrift, 23, Heft 2, (2006), 199213.
On male identity, see P. L. Culbertson, Men and Christian Friendship in B Krondorfer ed.,
Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a (Post-) Christian Culture. (New York/London:
New York University Press, 19969) , 149179.
On the relation between male identity and spirituality, P. Culbertson, New Adam: The Future
of Male Spirituality (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992); on the counselling of males, P. L.
Culbertson, Counseling Men (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1994).

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DANIL L OUW

instant power, adventure and journey. The hero is forced to act as a saviour, conqueror and even terminator. Here is the theme of man as machine, robot, attacking
women and becoming dehumanised. Combined by sadistic revenge fantasies men
want to suppress their inability to relate and their fear to become impotent with
compulsion actions38 . The Schwarzenegger movies have transformed men into
machines of rage and agents of destructive violence; the athletic male body as a
mark of power and moral superiority. It has become a dominant, global idol in
Western thought39 .
Other variations include the Adonis Complex, which describes male image
and masculinities in terms of a preoccupation with building muscles, a lean body,
appearance and good looks in terms of clothing and grooming, and often in terms
of the size of the penis.
Another concept is emerging: metrosexuality It refers to the attempt to bring
males in contact with the female component of their being, but freed from the strict
categories and classications of the masculinities of the past. The metrosexual
person lives in the metropolis within the different options of a Mans World.
The David Beckham icon opens up the world for the metrosexual from the gym
to the hairdresser. Metrosexuality within a postmodern paradig, beyond any past
isms and stereotypes, nowadays becomes the notion of Ubersexuality where
men are portrayed in terms of categories such as the quality of their status and the
positive aspects of being male; maleness as excellence and something to be proud
of.
With reference to the role of the media, Gauntlett40 refers to the phenomenon
of scopophilia as an aspect of current masculinities and its connection to male
sexuality.
Scopophilia is the voyeuristic gaze directed at other people as part of the pleasures of cinema. The pleasure in looking leads to the male gaze projecting its
fantasies onto the female gure which is styled accordingly, and vice versa. In
their traditional exhibitionist role women are simultaneously looked at and displayed, with their appearance coded for strong visual and erotic impact so that
they can be said to connote to-be-looked-at41 . In this regard the role of magazines
in stereotyping should be emphasized. According to Gauntlett42 men should be
handsome and self-condent. The ideal is that men should be well built with mus-

38
39

40
41
42

Horrocks, Masculinity in Crisis. Myths, Fantasies and Realities, p. 138146.

S. L. Dworkin, et al., The Morality/Manhood Paradox: Masculinity, Sport, and the Media, in
M S Kimmel et al., eds., Mens Lives (Boston: Pearson, 20046) , pp. 507521 at 508.
D. Gauntlett, Media, Gender and Identity (London: Routledge, 2002), p. 38.
Gauntlett, Media, Gender and Identity, p. 38.
Gauntlett, Media, Gender and Identity, pp. 187191.

Cura Corporis WITHIN THE SOCIAL MEDIA S QUEST FOR BODYISM

73

cles, good in bed, happy in relationships, witty, considerate, skilled in all things,
and have sex with a lot of attractive women43 .
Personal self-esteem, for a male, requires public performance. In this regard
boys grew up44 with the notion of the pre-eminence of men. Males should therefore be the head of everything. Notions such as male supremacy, male chauvinism and the cultural archetype of the super-macho refer to the dominant
positions of males in society. Super-macho, violent body contact sports such as
wrestling, football; rugby and boxing enforced this rigid macho image, because
in the eyes of viewers the crowds will respond to a player coming back onto the
eld after an injury: What a man!45
To be a man is the epitome of an upbringing which taught boys that it is
sissy behaviour to complain of body pains and encouraged them to resist the fact
of illness and injuries as long as possible, because cowboys dont cry. It is then
unmanly to be ill, unmanly to complain, and unmanly to ask for help and show
emotion. It is manly to be powerful and erect (the phallic syndrome). This image
was even culturally enforced in the church, because to worship an all-powerful,
omnipotent and self-contained male God gives male narcissism a supremacy and
quality of religious sanction. Often the phenomenon of homophobia in the church
is an inevitable outcome of such a stance, thus the categorical condemnation of
homosexuality46 as sinful, with the exclusion of any so-called female mannerisms
from being associated with masculinity.
Furthermore male identity is still determined by the traditional images of the
hard worker and the breadwinner (standard bearer); the faithful husband, lover or
playboy; the inuential boss and leader; the rugged individual as the rebel, tough
guy or superman. Each of these patterns of masculinities connotes a specic way
of looking at the world. Indeed some patterns of masculinity support patriarchy
but also encourage men to rebel against the destructive aspects of patriarchy47 .
In the gender discourse on masculinities the notion of maleness, as dominant
power and control is still dominant. We even confuse maleness48 (biological sex)
43
44

45

46

47

48

Gauntlett, Media, Gender and Identity, pp. 159163.

See in this regard T. F. Driver, Growing up Christian and Male in B. Krondorfer ed., Mens
Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a (Post-) Christian Culture (New York/London: New
York University Press 1996), 4365.
H. Goldberg, TheHazards of Being Male: Surviving the Myth of Masculine Privilege (New York:
Nash Publishing, 1976), pp. 112113.
M.L. Stemmelet, Empowerment: The Construction of Gay religious Identities in B. Krondorfer ed., Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a (Post-) Christian Culture (New
York/London: New York University Press, 1996), p. 95. Stemmelet calls the phenomenon of
homosexuality a gemixtepickle including such prejudiced terms as faggots, dykes and fairies.
I. M. Harris, Messages Men Hear: Constructing Masculinities (London: Taylor and Francis,
1995), p. 105.
The search for the deep masculine, a sort of primal vitality and distinctly masculine spiri-

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with masculinity (gender) at our peril.49 Masculine sexuality is often being reduced in lm and media to anatomical and genital sex.

Dominating paradigms within the public discourse on masculinities:

phallus, Zeus and playboy
With reference to the discussion on the different images on being male and the
normative role of the media in terms of the rationalization of these images, the
following three categories emerged: the emphasis on the male physiques and its
connectedness to sexual appeal; the notion of power and the image of being tough
and rough; the current sports morale and the male hero as a kind goal kicker.
With reference to paradigms one can translate these categories into the following
three paradigms: phallus (the image of the erect penis and the male as conqueror);
Zeus (the image of male dominance and power); playboy (the image of scoring
idol and free leisure without any denite boundaries)
The most frequent paradigms still dominating male identity and male sexuality are inter alia:

Fascinated by phallus50
Bordo51 refers to the link between the phallic god Fascinus, worshipped by the
Romans, and the fascinum attached to the worship of the phallus as a magical
being. Phallus52 is the penis that takes ones breath away because of its majesty;
projecting generic male superiority, the phallus is an idea and not merely a body
part.

49

50

51

52

tuality is the endeavour of mythopoetic mens movements. S. Mirsky, The Arguments for the
Elimination of Masculinity, in .B. Krondorfer ed., Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities
in a (Post-) Christian Culture (New York/London: New York University Press, 1996), p. 3435.
Some researchers differentiate between anatomical sex (men), gender identity (maleness) and
gender performance (masculinity). Mens studies explore how anatomical men are gendered
male within society and perform or do not perform masculinity according to societys norms. S.
Mirsky, The Arguments for the Elimination of Masculinity, p. 1.
At stake is the question whether the HIV & AIDS pandemic, with the emphasis on circumcision
and condomising, is not reintroducing the powerful image of the erect male organ now in the
disguise of a rubberised tool?
S. Bordo, The Male Body. A New Look at Men in Public and in Private (New York: Farrar,
Strauss and Giroux, 1999), p. 43.
The phallic is the totalizing/singularizing, that-which-can-dominate, oversee; the male gaze is
that of the possessor W. G. Doty, Baring the esh: Aspects of Contemporary Male Iconography, in B Krondorfer ed., Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a (Post-) Christian
Culture (New York/London: New York University Press, 1996), p. 299.

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Phallus is related to male afrmation and libido. Monick53 sees in the phallic
symbol of the erect penis the archetypal masculinity and the fundamental mark of
maleness; it represents subjective authority and powerful penetration. The penis
is the source of a mans greatest vulnerability as well as his greatest feeling of
power54 .
Within the culture of patriarchy the phallus55 has been used as synecdoche
for the whole representation of masculinity. It could indeed be argued that the
contemporary fascination with the male body has become phallic again. Derived
from the Latin, fascinum, a phallic-shaped amulet, the emphasis is on control and
youth. Phallicism indicates the bigness of the body and reduces masculinity to the
area of the genitals.
The phallic symbol56 is closely connected to procreation, (fertility) and erection. The display of the phallus leads in our culture to the consumerism of male
sexuality57 . The possession and display of a large penis has become a sign of masculinity in good working order. It leads to phallus mastery, as the concentration
on the erect penis projects an image of the male body as a hard body. This image is reinforced by Viagra as the potency pill that works like a magic bullet as it
can produce rampant erections. Masculinity becomes the erect male organ and is
therefore connected to the impulse to control
Bordo58 argues that in our culture the penis has come out of closet. Underwear
advertisements exploit the impact of the phallic mythology of Superman Masculinity as a vital image in our culture: the cultural equation of penis = male; the
proud member and throbbing manhood. Non-erect, the penis suggests vulnerability and fragility. Viagra-erection projects male vitality, virility and potency.
This urge is symbolised by the connectedness between the male organ (pe53
54
55

56

57

58

E. Monick, Phallos. Sacred Image of the Masculine (Toronto: Inner City Books, 1987), p. 9.
Horrocks, Masculinity in Crisis. Myths, Fantasies and Realities, p. 1620.
The phallus, the prized male erection, is taken as the quintessential symbol of manliness and
the idealized phallus is big, hard, and up. J. B. Nelson, Epilogue in B. Krondorfer ed., Mens
Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a
(Post-)Christian Culture (New York/London: New York University Press, 1996), p. 315. Humans have also emphasised those qualities in the divine. God, too, must be big, hard, and up:
sovereign in power, righteous in judgment, and transcendent.
In religion the phallic symbol played an important part in cultic worship. Eilberg Schwartz,
Gods Phallus and other Problems for Men and Monotheism (Boston: Beacon, 1994), p. 41.
Schwartz refers to the Greek gods Poseidon, Apollo and Zeus, who were frequently sculpted in
Greek art with their penises fully displayed. The divine phallus is also evident in ancient Near
Eastern mythology.
M. Kibby, etal., Displaying the Phallus: Masculinity and the Performance of Sexuality on the
Internet, in P. F. Murphy ed., Feminism and Masculinities (Oxford: Oxford University Press,
2004), 214227 at 214.
Bordo, The Male Body. A New Look at Men in Public and in Private, pp 3244.

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nis)59 and its function: penetration. The other is then the object to be penetrated
and to be conquered. The act of penetration is closely related to an approach to
persuade and to overwhelm. In this regard masculinity is linked to a hormonal
state and the levels of testosterone in males. Some researchers link this approach
to a tendency in males to be more aggressive than females.
When prevention strategies in the HIV & AIDS debate argue for condemising as the solution, the previous outline of phallicism should be taken seriously
into consideration. In a research project in Sweden, it was pointed out that rubberware should play a major role in a prevention strategy. To promote safer sex,
the project used home parties (rubberware) based on the Tuperware model60 . The
magazine Outlook61 was distributed at the International Conference on AIDS, Vienna 2010. On pages 8283 a huge advertisement with the heading: Lets PLAY
safe was put only on the males underwear with the following slogan: No condom no sex. The females underwear was without any reference to the use of a
female condom.
One of the cornerstones of the ABC-approach to HIV-prevention is the C.
C stands for condom use62 . The ABC approach wants to promote correct and
consistent use of condoms by those whose behaviour places them at risk for transmitting or becoming infected with HIV63 . The publication admits that promotion
of condoms alone has not been shown to be an effective strategy to lower infection

59

60

61
62

63

It is Haldemans contention that touching of the penis and masturbation can, at least, serve to
put men back in touch with themselves. The renewal of a mans relationship with his body is
related to, and a part of a mans image of his sexuality. Men think of their penis as the denitive
sign of their identity as men. S. Haldeman, Briniging Good News to the body. Masturbation
and Male Identityin B. Krondorfer ed., Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a (Post-)
Christian Culture (New York/London: New York University Press, 1996), 111115 at 115.
R. Tikkanen, Knowledge-Based HIV Prevention Intervention. Targeting Men who have Sex with
Men. A Summary and discussion of Six International Research Reviews (National Board of
Health and Welfare:, 2008), p. 36.
Outlook. Lets PLAY Safe A special Edition of Outlook, Issue no2, July, (2010), 8283.
At rst Pope Benedict XVI took a widely different approach regarding condoms when he commented that, while the Roman Catholic Church was at the forefront of the battle against AIDS
in caring for those affected by the disease through its multiple health ministries, you cant resolve it with the distribution of condoms.. According to recent reports, the Pope is revising his
previous stand on the use of condoms. D. P. Pusateri, D P. 2010. Faith-Based Organizations and
the HIV/AIDS Pandemic,in: Human Rights. Section of Individual Rights and Responsibilities
American Bar association. Spring 2010, Vol.37, No. 3, 1213 at 13.
E. C. Green, A. Herling, The ABC Approach to Preventing the Sexual Transmission of HIV.
Common Questions and Answers (McLean, VA: Christian Connections for the International
Health and Medical Service Corporation International, 2007), p. 9.

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77

rates in generalised epidemics, such as those found in Africa64 . Condom promotion and use can even encourage higher risk sex65 .
Although the demand for condom use is appropriate within a prevention strategy, the promotion of condomising without a strategy to change the symbolic
meaning of the erect penis, could even fuel the pandemic. When the message is
received by males that when I am circumcised and condomised I am t again to
use the rubberised penis as an instant erect tool (the instrumentalization of the
male genitals), condomising can become another cause to the fuelling of the pandemic and the abuse of sexual power, violent sexuality and male dominance.

Macho-patriarchs still spellbound by power (Zeus)

Within the power paradigm the male is seen as the stronger dening component66 ,
hence the quest for physical strength and tness. The male is then the dominant
factor (authority)67 and the female the subordinate factor, which leads to the notion
of submission. The notion of womens subordinate position is strengthened by
biblical interpretations portraying the male as representing headship, mind and
reason, requiring that males dominate women68 .
In an article Veiled rebellion E Rubin69 points out the impact of tribalism
and the traditional understanding of male power and male dominance on women
within the cultural setting of Afghanistan. The question is posed why husbands,
fathers and brothers-in-law brutalise the women in their families. According to
the traditional code, known as Pashtunwali (the way of Pashtun), women are
victims of males dominant position in society. The foundation of Pashtunwali
is a mans honor, judged by three possessionszar (gold), zamin (land), and zan
(women).70 .
64

65

66

67
68

69

70

A. Herling, The ABC Approach to Preventing the Sexual Transmission of HIV. Common Questions and Answers, p. 28
A. Herling, The ABC Approach to Preventing the Sexual Transmission of HIV. Common Questions and Answers, p. 34.
It seems as if all masculinities share two central components: the negatively dening characteristic of being not feminine, or like women; and the positively dening characteristic of having
more power (social, physical, cosmic) than what is feminine, or women. Cf. S. Mirsky, The Arguments for the Elimination of Masculinity in .B Krondorfer ed., Mens Bodies, Mens Gods.
Male Identities in a (Post-) Christian Culture (New York/London: New York University Press,
1996), p. 31.
See P. Bourdieu, Masculine Domination (Oxford: Polity, 2001).
Mowrey, The Accomodating Other: Masculinity and the Construction of Feminine Identity,
p. 119.
E. Rubin, Veiled Rebellion, in National Geographic, December, vol., 218, no. 6, (2010), pp. 28
53 at 36.
Rubin, VeiledRebellion: p. 36.

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With reference to dominant power Smith71 (1996:8) refers to the difference

between integrative power, i.e. the ability to bring about desirable results through
affection, giving, loyalty, care and other forms of bonding, and threat power.
A person who is able to create and maintain strong friendships has a significant form of integrative power. Unfortunately, the media enforce threat power
more than integrative power, i.e. the ability to coerce or control others through
arousing fear of unpleasant consequences. Threat power includes manipulation,
intimidation, even expressions of disapproval. Often anger and aggressiveness are
used to connect power to force.
Threat power is closely linked to performance, competition and hierarchic
control. Driver72 thinks of chauvinism as an attitude men have toward each other,
leading to competition for renown and inuence, so that their associations almost
always result in a pecking order. Where one stands in the pecking order indicates
ones degree of masculinity. In such a condition, masculinity is always a performance, something put on like a theatrical role or a priests vestments. Masculinity
became narcissistic and self-referential. In the church this image is enforced by a
God-image that is predominantly male and all-powerful.
Related to power and impression is the so-called macho male. It refers to
strength, virility, masculinity and sex appeal73 . The macho traits can either be positive (brave, courageous, altruistic, protective, androgynous) or negative (bravado,
selsh, pretentious, boastful, abusive, chauvinistic).
Threat power is also closely related to patriarchy74 and the cultural traditions
of tribalism. Within the gender debate the paradigm of patriarchy75 is related to a
hierarchical understanding of human value and identity.76
Culbertson77 refers to Augsburger, who points out that patriarchalism78 is the
71

72
73

74

75

76

77
78

S. Smith, Fear and Power in the Lives of Men in B. Boyd et al., eds., Redeeming Men. Religion
and Masculinities. (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1996), 719 at p. 8.
Driver, Growing up Christian and Male, p. 55.
A. Mirand, Macho: Contemporary Conceptions in M. S. Kimmel et al., Mens Lives.
(Boston: Pearson, 20046) , p. 29.
Nyokabi Kamau makes the important remark: patriarchy is ever-present. Every aspect of life
is governed by deeply rooted patriarchal power structures and practices that express the strong
entrenchment of male superiority and domination over women. N. Kamau, AIDS, Sexuality, and
Gender. Experiences of Women in Kenyan Universities. (Eldoret: Zapf Chancery, 2009), p. Vii.
It is the contention of many researchers on gender issues and on counselling males that caregivers should be able to understand the dynamics of patriarchy and its contradictory messages
for mens lives and be able to help men sort out what is true and faithful for their lives in community. C. C. Neuger, J. N. Poling, Gender and Theology, in C. C. Neuger and J. N. Poling
eds., The Care of Men. (Nashville: Abingdon 1997), pp. 3245.
For a discussion on the male-headship tradition and the so-called biblical mandate for wives to
submit to husbands and of the inuence of Aristotles Nichomachean Ethics and politics, see: 4.
Culbertson, Counseling Men, p. 22.
See also Kahn, Introduction to Masculinities: 23. Patriarchy refers to male dominated, male

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product of four interlocking premises:

First, that male physical strength is part of intended natural law.
Second, that families and societies are naturally based on aggression, domination,
procreation, and spouse and child protection;
Third, that property, production and the distribution of goods are the natural domain of men, and
Fourth, that male superiority, dominance and privilege are a part of received religious revelation.
These four interlocking justicationsbiological, cultural, economic and
religiousform the cornerstone of patriarchalism. The further problem with these
premises is that they feed oppressive behaviour and social structures and lead to
the domination of one gender over the other.
Patriarchalism emphasises the presence of male power and control in intimate
relationships as well as discrete acts of behaviour. It leads to the abuse of power
and what Poling79 calls male violence. According to Poling, male violence to
women encompasses physical, visual, verbal or sexual acts80 that are experienced
by a woman or girl as a threat, invasion or assault, and that have the effect of hurting her or degrading her and/or taking away her ability to control contact (intimate and otherwise) with another individual. Male violence therefore emphasises
themes of power, control and dominance of men over women, children, nature and
the competition of men for dominance over one another, which leads to racism,
sexism, war and economic oppression. Male violence feeds on gender inequality and is socially constructed as a hierarchy, i.e. most men base their personal
identities on being members of the dominant class.
To conclude one can argue that patriarchalism, threat power and the urge to
perform through male sexuality lead to the danger of brutal violence81 , male narcissism and often promiscuity.
Male promiscuity is a narcissistic focus on the sexual organs as merely instruments of lust, isolated from the human I, a sound value system and the spiritual
realm of aesthetics.
When the sex drive is separated from destiny, meaning and value, i.e. when

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81

identied, male centred societies and gender role power. D. Browning, The problem of man,
in: D Blankenhorn et.al., eds., Does Christianity teach Male Headship? (Grand Rapids: W B
Eerdmans 2004), pp. 212.
J.N. Poling, Male Violence against Women and Children in C. C. Neuger and J. N. Poling
eds., The Care of Men (Nashville: Abingdon, 1997), 138162 at 140.
On sexual violence, see M.M. Fortune, Sexual Violence. The Unmentionable Sin (Cleveland:
Ohio, 1983).
See on abusive me, and violence in men, James N. Poling, Understanding Male Violence. Pastoral Care Issues (St Louis: Chalice Press, 2003).

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sex is an instrument to mechanise the male body into a thing,82 into a penis
and the female body into a vagina (object) (morphology of an organ, and the
genitalisation of sexual feelings), isolated from the human I and the I of the other
(the mechanisation of the human body and its organs.), the exercising of power is
becoming a kind of Zeus cult (thunder and damnation) which should spiritually
be transformed.

The euphoria of performing playboys: worshipping bodyism and

healthism
Performance (= maleness) is connected to the courage to act and to produce (pleasure production and sperm production). This dimension of male behaviour is heavily been exploited within the current emphasis on the male body as an idol of
health and relaxation/recreation (sport, play and gym). The gym and the soccer
stadium became temples for the worshipping of the six-pack muscular body and
the performing scoring hero. In this regard male sexuality became part and parcel
of the new morale of playboy.
The Playboy in the consumer society is more of an aristocratic gure, one
who lives according to an ethic of leisure and sensual indulgence over against
the Puritan hard-working, hard ghting hero who adheres to a production ethic of
duty before pleasure83 .
Kimmel84 refers to market place masculinity, which describes male power
in terms of aggression, competition and anxiety. The market place in our society
becomes the place where manhood85 is tested and proved.
The danger in these male gender symbols is their potential for engendering
violence. The effect of the symbols on male sexual behaviour is that they feed
aggressive behaviour, often expressed in violent actions. For example, in the case
of rape and sexual abuse male dominance plays a decisive role. The alarming

82

83

84

85

When the body is experienced as a thing, it has the right to live only as a machine owned by
the self J. B. Nelson, Embodiment. An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology (Minneapolis: Augsburg Publishing House, 1978), p. 41.
N. Edley, M Wetherall, Men in Perspective. Practice, Power and Identity (London/New York:
Prentice Hall. 1995), p. 136.
M. S. Kimmel, Masculinity as Homophobia: Fear, Shame, and Silence in the Construction of
Gender Identity in P. F. Murphy ed., Feminism and Masculinities (Oxford: Oxford University
Press, 2004), 183184.
Violence is often the single most evident marker of manhood. It is connected to the willingness
to ght. Kimmel, Masculinity as Homophobia: Fear, Shame, and Silence in the Construction of
Gender Identity, p. 189.

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statement has even been made that the male sex requires injustice in order to
exist.86 Masculinity becomes roughness and toughness87 .
One can call the obsession with the body and health, through the processes of
commercialisation and exploitation (marketing), bodyism and healthism. The
bare body and the surface of the body become a social text with religio-mythical
meaning, i.e. it refers to who we are as gendered human beings and how we understand meaning. Through the impact of the media the body as a social text becomes
a symbolic stage upon which the drama of socialisation is enacted, and bodily
adornment becomes the language through which the social self is expressed in its
search for meaning88 . In this regard nudity becomes commercialised: gratuitous
nudity89 . Nudity has become naturalised to such an extent that advertisements of
underwear and half-transparent genitals have become normal; they have become
cultural products.
The body becomes Playboy and Playgirl: it is the object of desire and is created for the gaze. The perfect body is projected as a symbol of pleasure. Because
of the pleasure principle, the body is subjected to the voyeuristic gaze to such an
extent that the body becomes a sex object. The term sex object then implies
certain passivity, a person just there for the viewer to gaze upon and to enjoy
in terms of auto-erotic desires. The Marlboro man must be attractive to women;
males are no merely longer Zeus (to rule) but have become Apollo (to appeal) as
well.
The challenge to a Christian spiritual perspective on being a male within the
realm of the previously described global public images of Phallus, Zeus and Playboy within market place masculinity, is the following: how can a Christian spiritual approach reframe the social constructs of Phallus, Zeus and Playboy in order
86

87

88

89

See in this regard L. Du Toit, Rape Understood as Torture: What is the Responsibility of Men?
in E. Conradie and L Clowes eds., Rape. Rethinking male Responsibility (Stellenbosch: EFSA,
2003), 3667. It is clear that rape refers to irresponsible male behaviour. It includes torture. I
came to the conclusion that rape is rst and foremost an assertion of power through an act of
supreme humiliation (p. 36). Rape is sexual terrorism (p. 49).
It is therefore quite understandable that Du Toit, Rape Understood as Torture: What is the
Responsibility of Men? (p. 64) concludes that men must refuse to be men in as far as the popular
conception of masculinity views this as enforcing ones will against opposition.
W. G. Doty, Baring the esh: Aspects of Contemporary Male Iconography in B Krondorfer ed.,
Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male Identities in a (Post- Christian Culture (New York/London:
New York University Press, 1996), 267308 at 268.
Gratuitous nudity (Doty, Baring the esh: Aspects of Contemporary Male Iconography, 269) is
about the utilisation of the bare body for conveying information about a product across the range
of the public languages of magazines and advertising. It is about nudity on appro without
being requested. For example, in fashion advertising the relationship of the partly clothed male
icon or female icon to the product is often obscure. The partly nude body confronts the viewer
with something numinous.

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to address the current masculinity crisis? Is it possible to shift paradigms for being
male? To shift for example from males with merely performing bodily instruments to males with spiritually embodied sanctuaries? Is it possible to opt for
the spiritualisation of the male genitals in order to introduce the embodying of the
male spirit (compassionate intimacy)?

The spirituality of phron

esis90 and habitus: the sanctication of
masculinities within a theology of embodied intimacy
From the perspective of a Christian spiritual approach the challenge put by the crisis of male identity is the question whether the male body can become ensouled
embodiment? Ensoulment is an attempt to integrate the spiritual dimension of
our being human91 with our being in the esh (sarx) and the physical reality of
human embodiment (s
oma).
92
Dunn suggests that a better word in English for soma (body) is the alternative
term embodiment. In this sense s
oma is a relational concept. It is integrated with
psyche.
According to Dunn93 both terms (psyche/nephesh and pneuma/ruach) express
an original identication of breath as life force which cannot be separated from
embodiment. Together with sarx (which refers to our vulnerability/weakness and
belonging to the world) and s
oma (which denotes a concrete being in the world),
psyche denotes the spiritual totality of our being human within the dynamics of
relationships. The human body is actually a religious phenomenon; a sanctuary to
display the vivid presence of God within relationships.
Can the male body (including the genitals) become a religious text within the
dynamics of a hermeneutics of spiritual embodiment? Is it possible to embrace
eros94 within a Christian spiritual approach to male physicality? Can theology ac90

91
92
93
94

The word for attitude (phron

esis) is related to the Old Testaments understanding of wisdom (J
Goetzman, Mind (phron
esis) in C Brown ed., Dictionary of New Testament Theology. Vol. II.
(Exeter: Paternoster Press, 1976), p. 616).
The Hebrew equivalents are hakom and bn with their respective derivations. What is of signicant importance is the fact that phron
esis is related to Gods position. It denotes a creative
understanding of God wherein wisdom (sophia), together with the notion of Christs incarnation
and the inhabitiation of the Spirit within the human body, plays a fundamental role.
G. Dalbey, Healing the Masculine Soul (Dallas/London: Ward Publising, 1988).
D. G. Dunn, The Theology of Paul the Apostle (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1998), p. 56.
D. G. Dunn, The Theology of Paul the Apostle (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1998), P. 77.
According to J. B. Nelson, (Epilogue in B. Krondorfer ed., Mens Bodies, Mens Gods. Male
Identities in a (Post-)Christian Culture (New York/London: New York University Press, 1996),
pp. 311319 at p. 315), real men prize sex, but nd eros foreign.

Cura Corporis WITHIN THE SOCIAL MEDIA S QUEST FOR BODYISM

83

commodate and even assimilate eros95 the dimension of sexual need, desire, passion and sensualityand therefore translate bodyism into spiritual corporeality96 ?

Towards a theology of sensual and erotic male embodiment and

compassionate intimacy
It is my contention that compassionate intimacy can help the gender discourse to
nd the solution for the healing of the paradigmatic issue of masculinity not
only on the level of ethics (gender equality, human dignity, human rights, ego
integrity and authenticity), but also on the level of aesthetics (the beauty of embodiment and genital, erotic sensuality due to the fact that the body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit: pneumatological inhabitation.
Compassionate intimacy refers in theology to the vulnerability of God as displayed in the suffering of Christ and the presence of God as a sacricial presence
of unconditional love and grace. Compassionate intimacy emanates form the eschatological reality of cross and resurrection. A further implication of such an
eschatological understanding of compassionate intimacy with regard to human
identity and anthropology is that compassionate intimacy should enhance humane
authenticity, as well as the quality of life. It links gender with the ethics of unconditional love.
Compassionate intimacy is further an attempt to emphasise and introduce images of the wounded healer, companionship, trustful partnership, mediator, colleague, and nurturer to male identity in order to merge male sexuality and the
phallic male organ with the promotion of intimacy: compassionate and sacricial
love and grace.
What now are the implications of a pneumatological and Christian spiritual
understanding of compassionate intimacy on the notion of cura corporis and
the interplay between male identity and male sexual embodiment (physical wellbeing)?
95

96

Nelsons plea is for an erotic transformation of mens bodies (Nelson, Mens Bodies, Mens
Gods. Male Identities in a (Post-) Christian Culture, pp. 313314). Mens bodies are not fated
to be controlling, violent, radically individualised, and preoccupied with phallic values, racist,
armoured, mechanistic, or disconnected from close male friendship. Mens bodies can, indeed,
become more fullling and life giving to themselves and to others.
The popular lm industry and cinema function as a kind of production of myth. J. Hermann, Sinnmachine Kino. Sinndeutung und Religion im populren Film (Gtersloh: Chr.
Kaiser/Gtersloher Verlagshaus, 20022) , p. 93). Because of its simulation of reality, Hollywood
functions as a dream factory (Traumfabrik) trying to capture and hijack the fantasies of men and
women (pp. 132133) in their search for a sense of being at home. In this regard the concreteness of the human body and the religion of love are introduced as vehicles and instruments to
convey happiness and meaning. For example, in the lm Pretty Woman love is introduced as a
mean to an end, i.e. to save (to heal) a prostitute from decadence and loneliness.

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Cura corporis, the healing of the male body in terms of a Christian spiritual perspective, means: embodied intimacy. Embodied intimacy transforms eros into sensual spirituality.
Cura corporis, as embodied intimacy and sensual spirituality, implies the following paradigm shifts within a pastoral care approach to an anthropology of maleness:
From the soul-body dualism to an integrative and compassionate intimacy.
Embodiment then represents qualitative intimacy as the realm for creating a
space for human dignity through the eneshment of unconditional love. One
should accept ones body as home; a living space meant for communication
and relationships.
From gender performance to human empowerment.
The body is no longer viewed and handled as a machine, but is holistically
enjoyed as a living organism. Embodiment represents processes of personal
and other empowerment.
From mere auto-erotism to personal sensitivity and sensuality
Erotic and sensual affections and experiences (even solo-sexuality and solosex) are not merely narcissistically self-focused, but used to reinforce personal
identity, as well as to establish a balanced and constructive self-esteem and
body-esteem, which can in the long run enhance the quality of attachment and
commitments. Embodiment is then seen as erotic attachment and humane afrmation.
From narcissistic phallicism to an inclusive inter-corporality.
The body and its genitals are then assessed as valuable and primary
tools/vehicles for the creation of a human encounter and the disclosure of meaning and peaceful and faithful satisfaction.
From the body as the beast (body heat) to the body as the beauty (the aesthetics
of body enjoyment as well as genital morphology: created in the image of God).
Beauty implies more than physicality. It refers to the representation of meaning and the body as the evidence of the presence of the divine on earth. The
proportions of the body and the harmony of body wholeness project beauty.
The art book on the Great Tradition of Sculpture points out that the anatomy of
the body reveals inner beauty97 . For the human body, an image of the divine,
contained a small part of divinity and hence of beauty98 .
Embodiment is then more than merely a good or bad issue, but about the aesthetics of being human through embodiment. The body should be valued and
97

98

According to Greek culture, the body is evidence of divine and inner meaning. Bordo, The Male
Body. A New Look at Men in Public and in Private: p. 221223.
B. Ceyson et al. The Great Tradition of Sculpture in: G Duby, J-L Daval eds., Sculpture. From
the Renaissance to the Present Day (Kln: Taschen, 2006), 698703.

Cura Corporis WITHIN THE SOCIAL MEDIA S QUEST FOR BODYISM

85

admired as part of being the image of God. The body attains religious meaning as the concrete space to embody and to enesh the presence and grace of
God. Grace is beautiful because it heals the beast in oneself and in the other.
Grace represents the eschatological and ontological fact that human beings are
re recreated through salvation into new beings. To be afrmed in your very
being, transcends the societal categories of gender. With reference to Christian
spirituality, the masculine soul is not determined anymore by social images
alone, but by salvation. This corporate identity constructs a new paradigm for
males as humane human beings; males as compassionate stewards of life and
not as destructive terminators of live.
From the assessment of the body as a manufactured subjectivity (media manipulation) to the body as ethical subjectivity; i.e. the awareness of bodily responsibility.
Ethical subjectivity is about the question of embodied intentions and motivations: Why this body and for what purpose?
From nausea to phronesis (human attitude as determined by wisdom thinking;
ensoulment as the sanctication of the body. In pastoral care we need to start
speaking of human wholeness99 . The reason for this is that health in a biblical sense points to life, sjalom and salvation (the verb sozo, to save). In a
comprehensive approach to health100 the use of the term spiritual healing refers
to wholeness and a comprehensive understanding of the concept of the soul,
nephesh, which includes embodied life as experienced within the presence of
God, as well as within a cultural system and network of relationships. As a result of the predominantly synthetic stereometric thinking of the Old Testament,
basar, esh, the bodily function is not conceived as something separate from
the nephesh. Embodiment and soulfulness are complementary categories.
From some-thing to some-body. This paradigm shift is about the personication and ensoulment of the body. The body is a being quality and part of our
99

100

The notion of wholeness is very popular in the literature on healing but it is a very vague and
slippery notion. W. H. Lamb, et al., Wholeness, Dignity and the Ageing Self: a Conversation
between Philosophy and Theology in E. MacKinley et al., Aging, Spirituality. A Multi-National
Perspective (New York: The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2001), pp. 6069) discuss the two meanings of wholeness: comprehensiveness and integration. Wholeness also implies coherence and
intactness, continuity and adequacy. Self-knowledge and loving knowledge also play a role.
While wholeness refers to the healing dimension of interconnectedness, the concept hole in
a holistic approach refers to different parts as related and connected to the entire picture and
network; to the whole unit in all of its dimensions and functions.
For a holistic approach to health, see G. B. Collins, T. Culbertson, Mental Illness and Psychiatric
Treatment. A Guide for Pastoral Counsellors (New York: The Hayworth Press, 2003), pp. 17.
It is important to note that modern psychiatry came to the realisation that the spiritual aspect is
just as important a component of the total person as are the mind and the body.

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total human dignity as determined by the events of cross and resurrection (the
eschatological perspective101 ).
The human soul is an abstraction without the body. The human body becomes
a thing (machine) without the soul. The body is not a thing, nor is it mere esh;
the body is a person and an indication of the humane qualities of our being
functions. The soul without sexuality, sensuality and embodiment is an irrelevant ghost. The ensouled body is the sanctuary for the display of the charisma
of the Spirit and the vivid presence of God (inhabitational theology). It is displayed as human identity (male identity) through intimate and compassionate
love. Due to the fruits of the Spirit, charisma is displayed as the total new attitude and aptitude (habitus).
Strong and powerful men are compassionate men representing the habitus of
Christ. Sexy men are sensitive and empathetic men. Courageous men are hopeful men. Maleness is not in the rst place prescribed by the mass media but by
phronesis: habitus and decision-making as moulded by Biblical wisdom (sapientia); a true discernment guided by the unconditional love and grace of God.
Male identity and therefore masculinity is in Christian spirituality reframed by
sacricial ethics and not primarily by success and achievement. The being functions (the eschatological stance: Who you are in Christ) are more fundamental
for the quality and purposefulness of life than the doing and knowing functions
as prescribed and determined by a market-driven economy and a capitalistic
life endeavour. Patriarchal headship becomes the public of agape servant hood.
Bodily exercises in the gym (physical health) is complemented and supplemented by spiritual exercises: the fellowship (koinonia) in the body of Christ
(spiritual health).
A healthy body is due to the inhabitation of the Spirit an embodied soul and
an ensouled body. As part of the sanctuary of humanness, the male genitals are
symbols of life. They are designed for the establishment of intimate, compassionate love; sacramental representatives of trust and grace, and not merely
mechanistic tools for the demonstration of male dominance and instant sexuality.
A healthy body, cura corporis, implies furthermore that physical well-being
cannot be separated from spiritual well-being and vice versa. Such an integra101

The implication of an eschatological perspective as a paradigm for the interpretation of the

male spirit is that our basic image and identity is determined by the fact that within Christian
spirituality we are a new creation. Our identity is not determined by performance but by being.
For male identity the implication is that the new spirit of Christ (phronesis) determines male
behavior. Praxis refers to intention and motivation in human action. Male identity as a praxis
issues is reframed by an eschatological and pneumatological approach from performance into
compassion. Phallus, Zeus and playboy are now vehicles for care comfort and nurturing.

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87

tive understanding of wholistic health, i.e. health as not merely a vague and
general quest for healing and well-being, or only as an attempt to look good
and healthy, or to go to the gym and boast with a lean body or a six pack,
but health as an perspective of meaningful living, an attitude of responsible
decision-making, a philosophy of discernment and wisdom, a normative framework of values and virtues and a devotion and commitment to the promotion of
human identity and dignity. Within a Christian spiritual understanding of health
and healing, cura corporis indicates an understanding of the human body and
physicality as a concrete relational space for the eneshment of the notion of
compassionate intimacy.
Physical well-being within the perspective of wholistic health and an integrative understanding of human physicality includes the following four
spheres/dimensions or realms of human life:
a) The sphere/dimension/realm of spirituality: meaning and hope within the
realm of a life enhancing and life promoting belief system and framework
of norms, values and virtues.
b) The sphere/dimension/realm of ethos: responsible decision-making within
an aesthetic understanding of the human body as an instrument and vehicle
of the beautication of life.
c) The sphere/dimension/realm of relationality (the dynamics of relationships): the interconnectedness of life within the realm of intimacy and the
attempt to promote human dignity in the public spheres of marriage, family, friendship and social/political relationships.
d) The sphere/dimension/realm of embodiment: the ensoulment of the human
body and the integration of self-image and body-image.
Physical well-being within the perspective of wholistic health and an integrative
understanding of human physicality includes the following four components or
constituents of our daily being human:
a) The components/constituents of life skills: how to make informed and responsible decisions in life; i.e. the discernment of wisdom.
b) The components/constituents of culture: the realm of tradition, habit, custom, worldview including the interplay between human development and
nature conservation.
c) The components/constituents of soul en human identity: self-image and the
quest for maturity and adulthood.
d) The components/constituents of sexuality: the integration of sex, genitals,
nakedness, gender and eros, in order to function as indicators of compassionate and intimate (faithful) sexuality.
Both the spheres/dimensions/realms (one can even call them meaningful frameworks of human life: human realism) and the components/constituents of our

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DANIL L OUW

daily human life (one can even call them descriptive aspects of our being human: constituents of anthropology) should be understood within a comprehensive understanding of the environment of life. It includes several contextual life
issues (Environment of Life: see diagram). They are all ingredients of what can
be called: integral physicality.
The following diagram is designed in order to describe how human physicality
should be understood within a hermeneutical approach. With hermeneutics is
then meant the understanding of physicality and well-being within the framework of a systemic approach to life. It describes how several components of an
integrative model can contribute to healing and wholeness. The model can be
applied in a pastoral hermeneutics in order to help males to a new understanding
of masculinity. It also portrays the dynamics of being male within the interplay
between spirituality and relationality; between embodiment and ethos; between
life skills, culture, soul/identity and sexuality. Such a systemic hermeneutical
model can contribute to the healing of the male body; it reframes images of
males (masculinities) within a Christian spiritual approach and contributes to
and integrative understanding of physical well-being.

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The peril of patriarchal power: distorting dignity and

intimacy in (male) sexuality
J. S. van der Watt

Abstract
The main aim of this article is to describe some ways in which a distorted, commercialised and utilitarian view of sexuality dominates globalising cultural contexts. It is argued that, within a culture of performance-driven masculinity, the
abuse of patriarchal power has the potential to rob men (and women) of real
intimacy in their sexuality, and inevitably their human dignity. Sexuality is (in
most cases) the arena in which masculinity is proved, and therefore it is the
most integral part of male identity. The article indicates that male sexuality is
strongly driven in the direction of genital centrality, but that although the reigning creed on mens bodies (still) seems to be: big, hard and up, men need to
re-evaluate this dominating discourse critically and learn to embody alternative
ways of being men, i.e. valuing vulnerability as necessary equivalent to power.
This re-evaluationin light of sociological and psychological perspectivesneeds
to be taken very seriously by pastoral caregivers in all cultural contexts.

This article cursorically gives an account of some of the perspectives which are eshed out
in my doctoral thesis titled: Images of men and masculinities in cultural contexts: a pastoral
assessment. This study was completed in 2007 under the guidance of Prof. Danil Louw, within
interdisciplinary elds of study, e.g. sociology, anthropology, practical theology (pastoral care)
and psychology. This article was rst delivered as a paper at the 9th World Congress of the
ICPCC (International Council on Pastoral Care and Counselling), August 21st -27th , Rotorua,
New Zealand.
Mission Japan and Stellenbosch University (Faculty of Theology): Mission Japan is a joint mission including the Dutch Reformed family of Churches and their ofcial sister church, the Reformed Church in Japan (RCJ). The researcher, Revd. Dr. Stphan van der Watt is an appointed
(missionary) minister in the RCJ, and a former part-time lecturer and current research fellow
at the Faculty of Theology of the Stellenbosch University, South Africa. For more information,
visit www.missiejapan.co.za and http://academic.sun.ac.za/theology/

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

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Introduction
No single theory or academic approach can hope to capture and account for every facet of even a single mans life, let alone the lives of men of all different
socioeconomic classes, ethnicities or sexual orientations. However, one issue that
an increasing number of social scientists appear to agree upon is the pro-feminist
argument that any adequate theory of men and masculinity has to have the concept of power at its centre (Connell 1987, 2002; Kimmel 1987a; Brittan 1989;
Kaufman 1994). Therefore, this article will deal with the question of power and
its relation to men and masculinities. One of the most dominating factors within
this eld is the use and misuse (or abuse) of power, specically on the terrain of
sexuality. Attention should thus be given to this problemwithin the web of patriarchal powerand in this article it is done out of an implicit pastoral theological
angle of incidence1 .
Henceforth, here below follows an introduction to a pastoral theological (re-)
interpretation of some of the dynamics and themes related to male embodiment
and power. The main intention is to deconstruct some important aspects pertaining
to the question of power within spheres of (embodied) masculinities2 . In order to
perform this proposed deconstruction of power, it is however rstly important to
make some relevant remarks in connection with patriarchal power.

The peril of patriarchal power

A traditional sociological denition of patriarchy asserts that it is: A social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal
1

I am very aware of the fact that, by focusing very exclusively on masculinities, there lurks the
danger (amongst others) to unconsciously shut men out of a gender framework of analysis.
Simply put: a focus on men alone can easily ignore their position within the web of patriarchal
power. Therefore it is essential that studies on masculinities (inter alia) must investigate the
institutions where men and women interact. The family was identied by early feminists as the
core manifestation of patriarchal power, and it is a fallow land for research. Within the family
gender identities are formed, hierarchies reside and (gender) power is exerted. Unfortunately
a in-depth focus on these issues transcends the boundaries of this article, but it is nevertheless
mentioned, to be kept in mind throughout.
My research position is that one cannot talk of masculinity, only masculinities. This is not to
claim that masculinity is so variable that we cannot identify it as a topic, or to revert into a
rigid or unrealistic relativism which would make it an almost impossible object of study. The
plural term masculinities is now widely used in academic circles and indicative of the wide
variations in masculinity, in how it is understood, enacted, experienced and lived. Since gender
does not exist outside history and culture, this means that both masculinity and femininity are
continuously subject to a process of reinterpretation. I assert that manhood is not the manifestation of a single inner essence; it is rather socially constructed and created in various cultural
contexts, and consequently means different things at different times to different people.

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dependence of wives and children and the reckoning of descent and inheritance
in the male line. (Webster in Verwoerd, 1996: 3). These type of denitions have
however (recently) been broadened to include a complex eld of oppression. Patriarchy is now instead comprehended as a worldview or philosophical paradigm
which displays a set of common beliefs and values, as well as a common method.
It can concisely be stated as the masculine dominance of the interpretation of reality, and simultaneously as the normative paradigm of socio-political operation
in the Western world today3 .
According to Chittister (1998: 25), patriarchy rests on four interlocking principles: dualism, hierarchy, domination, and essential inequality. These are the touchstones of the patriarchal worldview and imply, in essence, that reason and feelings
are distinct, that the world runs from the top down and that the top is genetically
coded. Therefore some humans are deemed more human than other humans and
so are put in charge of the rest of them. Subsequently, hierarchy is given dominative power, and justies all of the above-mentioned on the theory of intrinsic
inequality. Chittister continues (1998: 67) to state that patriarchal power sets out
to keep people at a distance, and to exclude and control. The purpose of this
kind of power is not to build the community, even when building the community
is what maintains the power. Its purpose is to build a private kingdom, a power
based beyond assault. Instead of stiing competition, however, patriarchal power
breeds it.
The implication of all this is that most men suppress most women. But it is
not implicated that all men suppress all women to the same degree. It includes a
complex interaction with class, race and economic dominance. Hence, Fiorenza
(1984: xiv) formulates it: Patriarchy as a male pyramid of graded subordinates
and exploitations species womens oppression in terms of the class, race, country
or religion of the men to whom we belong. This denition of patriarchy enables
us to . . . conceptualize not only sexism, but also racism, property-class relation3

Manuel Castells (1997: 134) asserts that: Patriarchalism is a founding structure of all contemporary societies. It is characterised by the institutionally enforced authority of males over
females and their children in the family unit. For this authority to be exercised, patriarchalism
must permeate the entire organization of society, from production and consumption to politics,
law, and culture. Interpersonal relationships, and thus personality, are marked, as well, by domination and violence originating from the culture and institutions of patriarchalism. According
to Raphael (2005: 7007) Patriarchy may be dened as: the rule of the father that extends
beyond the connes of the family to include the governance of men and the dominance of male
values in society as a whole. Patriarchal dominance, whether that of male heads of extended
families or theandrarchy of senior men within a given political dispensation, gives men control
over the familial and political economy; limits womens freedom of sexual expression and alliance; marginalizes or excludes them from political and religious leadership; and limits their
education and sometimes their freedom of movement.

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

93

ships, and all other forms of exploitation or dehumanization as basic structure of

women in oppression. (own italics).
Therefore, what is important to note, is the systemic nature of patriarchy.
Whilst andro-centrism is an indication of a general male-centeredness grounded
on a set of values, patriarchy signies a social, political, historical, religious and
economic structure. This systemic character is not unique to patriarchy, seeing that
dominance has a typical systemic nature (e.g. the caste-system in India, apartheid
in South Africa, colonialism etc.).

The impact of power, abuse on sexuality: The crisis of human dignity

and the distortion of intimacy
There are many ways in which the hierarchical abuse of power often causes a loss
of (humanly) dignied, respectful and healing sexual practices. In the modern
Western culture sexuality has often been perceived as central to masculine power.
The equation of masculinity to sexual power, dominance and violence has in most
instances inevitably led to the development of a powerful and aggressive male
sexuality (Bly, 1991; Brod, 1987). Consequently uneven power relationships have
had a very clear impact on peoples sexual enactment. I contend that the core
of this impact is the loss of human dignity4 , for both perpetrator and victim, in
destructive sexual interactions.
According to Marvin Ellison (1996a): Sexuality conditioned by male gender
supremacy eroticizes power inequalities. Relations of domination and subordination become erotically tintillating. Many heterosexual men are turned on by female powerlessness . . . male supremacy feels good. Gender injustice even seems
pleasurable . . . Male gender supremacy feels right to many people because it
exists within a wider cultural matrix that teaches people to be comfortable with,
and to normalize, human indignities and a variety of social oppressions. (Ellison
1996a: 51)
In order to gain a better understanding of how patriarchal oppression distorts
intimacy, John Stoltenberg (in Ellison 1996a) speaks about the dialectical connection between erotica and ethicsbetween feeling good and doing right. Ethics
4

In this regard Vorster (2005: 909) concludes his article on Human dignity and sexual behaviours:
a theological perspective, by suggesting that responsible sex ethics that can safeguard human
dignity ought to contain (among others) the following elements: The structural purpose of sexuality must be respected. Sex forms the dynamic that bonds male and female who are the same but
also different; The holistic nature of humans must be maintained. Sex can never be reduced to a
mere physical act. It affects both the spiritual and physical aspects of human nature; True sexual
love manifests itself in mutual submission where the happiness of the other person is sought in
the whole breadth of common existence (eros and agap). Recreational sex treat human beings
as mere objects of pleasure.

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J.S. VAN DER WATT

include: the loyalty to values and the commitment to the right behaviour. Erotica includes: the embodiment of sensation and feelings/emotions. During sexual
intercourse humans constitute their moral character, and they physically embody
their values as moral agents.
According to Stoltenberg people within Western patriarchal societies learn the
importance thereof to do things right according to patriarchal values and norms.
There are rewards for conformation (as well as sanctions for the abstinence from
conformation) to the gender-role expectancies of what the right male thing and
the right female thing to do, in public and in the bedroom, is: When many
men have sex, the power and control they feel in the when, the how, and the
to whom they feel sexual are all matters that conrm, or fail to conrm, their
socially constructed, gendered identity as men. Patriarchal sex reinforces mens
deeply felt, somatized sense of being social superiors. The patriarchal sex script
focuses, for example on the males ability to perform sexually (genitally) and
thereby experience himself as a real man. (Ellison 1996a: 52).
Stoltenberg even speculates that many mens experience of sexual tension may
be because of socially induced gender-anxiety about, or their behaviour within, the
ethical framework of what is right or wrong for their presupposed sexual identities.
Patriarchal sexuality aims at conrming that people are man/woman enough.
The ensuing self-knowledge and self-doubt becomes an existential part of peoples
bodies, through which they meet each other and the world. There is, according
to Ellison (1996a: 53) therefore a correlation between that which happens in the
social order in terms of race, gender and other forms of oppression, and that which
happens in peoples bedrooms.
This above-mentioned reticulation between identity and social structure can
be summarised by stating: we construct our sexuality through gender, and we
conrm our gender through sexual behaviour. For example, many men who experience general sexual problems (such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or low sexual desire), will rather dene their problem in terms of gender than
in sexual terms. Most men will rather interpret their problem as an achievementproblem, a failurenot being good enough. Men with low sexual libido will often complain that they just dont feel like a real man: In compliance with the
male supremacist script, a man may be concerned less about sexual pleasure and
more with his validation as a properly gendered male. (Ellison 1996a: 53)
Subsequently, on the terrain of sexual intimacy men are often estranged from
their body-selves, and thus seldom experience integrated vitality and wholeness.
If real intimacy is understood as a space of unconditional acceptance, wherein
a person can disclose without the anxiety of rejection, where is the core problem for men situated? The researcher assumes strongly that the problem originates (amongst others) with a lack of self-acceptance. The emotional mechanics

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

95

of male intimacy seems to be centred on the suppression of tenderness and selfacceptance.

Henceforth, men often do not experience their body-selves as integrated
whole. The reason for this is, amongst others, the different dualistic interpretation schemes through which they try to make sense of their embodied masculinity.
Within todays culture, with the emphasis on achievement and production as highest goals, men are subsequently often sold out to the societys standards. Within
those standards they must prove themselves, and they often come up too short.
Therefore it is difcult to primarily accept themselves as good / man enough.
Consequently a dearth of authentic intimacy-encounters (as dened here above)
begins to exist.
In the light of the above mentioned it becomes increasingly apparent that the
anxiety which an achievement ethic elicits can often lead to decient experiences
of real intimacy, and furthermore, can (in the worst degree) cause aggressiveness
and violence, as is evident out of the under-mentioned quotation: One cost of
male dominance is hyper-rationalism and its counter side, the truncated development of the affective life5 . Many men simply do not feel very well6 . . . Funda5

According to Bantjes (2004: 5758) males, at a very young age, are told that boys dont cry.
Boys growing up in western society learn to stie their tears and other emotional displaysthe
message they receive is: push it down, stuff it inside, dont show that feeling otherwise you will
be seen as weak and as a failure. Furthermore they learn that in order to be a man they should
hide their feelings and silence their fears. A boy in western culture is thus forced into a rigid
mould (Bantjes calls it a straight jacket) of masculine toughness that denies him his emotions
and robs him of the chance to develop a full range of emotional resources. In effect, restriction of
emotional expression leaves boys to manage relationships, conict, adversity, and change with
a limited range of emotional tools, and may even result in maladaptive emotional expression,
which in turn leads to unhealthy development and an impaired inability to form attachments.
Within this regard, Maclnnes (2001) argues that there is an astonishingly broad contemporary
consensus which urges men to abandon what is imagined to be traditional masculinity in order
to get in touch with their feelings and develop their emotional articulacy, for they have nothing
to lose but their inhibitions, loneliness, and alienation from intimacy and the source of their
humanity. (MacInnes 2001: 323).
Another consequence of underdeveloped emotional life of many men is the difculty many men
have addressing grief in the midst of profound loss. Herbert Anderson (1997: 203226) explores the ways in which the construction of masculinity contributes to this difculty. Whereas
traditional images of manhood lead many men to hide their feelings and suppress their grief
over multiple losses, Anderson suggests how pastoral caregivers can help men enhance their
freedom to grieve. One way is to help men develop new ways of thinking about being human
and being men. He suggests that the Biblical stories of King David and Job, the lamentations
of Jeremiah, and the example of Jesus can help critique and reconstruct masculine stereotypes
that have been captured by a capitalist society. Another way is to help men discover a common
language for sharing the pains, so that the loneliness of grief is transformed into sadness that
can be shared through an experience of empathic mutuality, within a so-called community of
sorrow. (Anderson 1997: 204). In this regard, see also Tong (2004), in whose qualitative re-

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J.S. VAN DER WATT

mental to such narrowed rationalism is the male psychology of dominance and

control . . . Competition is injected into situations which do not call for it. As
an adjunct of this syndrome, violence becomes a manifestation of masculinity,
with immense costs to both individual and group. A certain code of masculinity is
purchased at the price of suppressing tenderness and self-acceptance. Socialized
toward a deep fear of homosexuality7 and toward a self-respect based in considerable measure upon sexual potency and conquest, the young man is torn by both
cultural demands and fears about his own sexual strength. The implications for
social violence are unmistakable. (own italics) (Nelson 1978: 67)

The intimacy-void caused by an exacerbated achievement-ethos

I contended that the above-mentioned culture of performance-driven masculinity
is leaving a huge cleavage mens capacity to experience and facilitate authentic,
life-giving intimacy and dignity. It is assumed that this void is greatly caused by
the presence of fear/anxiety that is infused in too many arenas in mens lives. Furthermore, it seems that the competition-ethos is steadily grounded in the pervasive
masculine sexism, which affects all humans.
Marva Dawn (1993) writes the following in her book Sexual Character: beyond technique to intimacy, about the dearth of intimacy in the technologicallydriven and globalising, post-traditional milieu: . . . we must understand that the
desperation in our society for intimacy often leads to genital experimentation by
those who truly long instead for social affection . . . on the other hand, we intimize our technology . . . the very nature of a technological milieu prevents our
social fabric from being conducive to the development of intimacy. (Dawn 1993:
17)

search study, she journeys with a group of white, Afrikaans speaking men whose wives had
died to due a terminal illness. Tong argues that dominant discourses in relation to masculinity
and religion have placed restrictions on men when dealing with loss and grief, resulting in isolation and loneliness. Against a postmodern backdrop, and guided by social constructionist and
poststructuralist discourses, she indicates how her research-as-narrative pastoral therapy makes
it possible to co-author alternative ways of dealing with grief.
This deeep fear of homosexuality is also implanted at a very early stage in young males lives.
Messages such as, stop acting like a girl, boys dont cry or dont be a sissy can lead
boys o feel anxiety about and even fear of being like the opposite sex. Hence, according to
Pollack (1998), boys learn that becoming a man is not simply a process of growing older, but is
achieved by rejecting feminine behaviours and embracing those characteristics that are seen
to be masculine. In this process, mothers (as the embodiment of all that is feminine) are
rejected in search of manhood. Western society seems to dictate that for a boy it is of paramount
importance to distance yourself from your mother and all things that are feminine, otherwise
youll be considered soft or called gay.

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

97

It is often the case that men must prove themselves within the arena of sexuality. The action of sexual intercourse all too often becomes the test terrain
where the question: Am I man enough? must be answered. Masculinity is often
something that must be proven and achieved within the Western culture (Sherlock 1996: 198). This realisation generates an uncomfortable anxiety in many
mens lives, since they can feel jeopardized by a sense of incompetence, namely:
that they are not good enough, but should prove in some way that they are man
enough. Many researchers have indicated that these uncomfortable levels of anxiety ironically cause the unwanted effect of sexual under-performance sexual
dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunctions8 are in most
instances directly linked to the presence of high levels of anxiety.
There is subsequently still a void9 evident wherein men ask at an existential
level: who am I and what does manhood mean today? Within this post-traditional
and globalising Western culture men are often uncertain about what is expected of
them, and what they can expect of themselves. This uneasiness concerns millions
of men who grew up with wholly different interpretation schemes of masculinity.
It is furthermore also part of a much wider spiritual uneasiness which often reigns
within a postmodernist cultureone that is not (any more) so sure of its values
and place in the world. There is a supposed tendency that in certain areas of life,
specically with regards to love, intimacy and relationships, many men has lost
direction and dont know exactly where to nd meaningful guidance.

Male Sexualities in a Globalising, Media-Saturated Culture

In order to discover new ways of meaningfully transforming masculinities as sites
of power, I propose that a cursory examination should be done of how men are
sexual in their cultural contexts today. It can be convincingly indicated that sexuality is seemingly less a product of biological urges and more about the meanings
that people attach to those urges (Van der Watt 2007:32123). Men and women
experience their sexual selves through a gendered prism, but the meanings of sex
to women and men are in many instances very differentacross social groups,
among cultures and over time (see Kimmel and Messner, 2004).
8

Hedon (2003) indicates that anxiety plays a major role in the development of the problems associated with erectile dysfunction (ED). Psychological and behavioural responses to ED can lead
to a vicious cycle of increased uneasiness, distance and conicts. This in turn leads to a lower
frequency of sexual encounters, less time spent together and lack of communication between
partners in a relationship. In this review, methods to decrease sexual anxiety are discussed.
See Van der Watt 2007:341364 for cues on restoring this intimacy void via a theology of
the cross and resurrection of Christ, and specically facilitated by a spirituality of vulnerable
courage.

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Globalisation can basically be understood as the range of shifts in the social,

economic, and cultural spheres which are part of the growing movement of peoples, ideas and trade across the world. Such a denition implies that globalisation
affects sexuality in a number of interconnected ways, probably most signicantly
through the pervasive presence of the mass media in every cultural and societal
sphere. As people pour into the rapidly growing cities across the rst and third
world, they are exposed to new (mass) media images which offer radically different ways of imagining sex and gender arrangements and identities. (Altman
2004:23)
According to Gauntlett (2002) the media has continually reectedand may
have partly ledthe changing status of different sexual activities, attitudes and
sexualities, spreading awareness of different expectations and the existence of diversity. Discourses about sexuality and identity are strong ones, enthusiastically
spread by the media and consumed by audiences. Sexuality is furthermore in many
ways perceived as the key to happiness and knowing your true self. The private
world of sex has certainly been ung (in totally new ways) into the popular public domain recently. Formal studies of the changing face of sexuality, alongside
the representations of sexuality in lms, magazines, news reports, pop videos,
soap operas, and so on, all form part of the institutional reexivity regarding sex
society talking to itself about sexuality. (Gauntlett 2002: 107)
The question can then be asked, if it makes sense to say that sexuality is at
the heart of human (and specically masculine) identity today? Gauntlett (2002:
122123) argues that the answer is certainly yes, and more so than ever before.
The discourses of magazines and self-help books, as well as many screen dramas,
make knowing ones sexual identity of crucial importance to inner happiness.
The media clearly suggests that, in order to be fullled en happy, you should:
Understand your own sexuality; Have sex often; Seek help for sexual problems;
Have a satisfactory sexual partneror get a new one10 . (Gauntlett 2002: 123)
According to James (1996) unfortunately many men (including Christian
men) have little understanding of the difference between sex and love, intimacy
and intercourse. Within a Christian framework he contends (with James Nelson,
10

It seems that these pervasive media messages about sex are increasingly (negatively) inuencing not only men and women, but also young boys and girls. According to Brown (et al. 2006)
sexually charged music, magazines, TV and movies push youngsters into intercourse at an earlier age, perhaps by acting as a kind of virtual peer that tells them everyone else is doing it.
This is the rst study to indicate that the more kids are exposed to sex in media, the earlier they
have sex. At the same time parents tend not to talk about sex with their children in a timely and
comprehensive way, leaving a vacuum in which the media may become a powerful sex educator,
providing frequent and compelling portraits of sex as fun and risk free. Interestingly one of the
strongest predictors of risk for early sexual intercourse for teens was the perception that his or
her peers were having sex, Brown (et al.) states (2006: 1025).

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1988) that sexuality is about more than a physical act leading to ejaculation and
orgasm. Rather, it (Christianity) views sexuality as a part of a persons constitutive psychic makeup which leads to expressions of vulnerability, passion, love
and connection11 ; BUT in contrast: A review of the contemporary sexual landscape reveals a far different picture. Sex for the sake of sex is commonplace, as
are the plethora of diseases and disorders that accompany it. Movies and television shows portray little relationship between love, commitment, vulnerability
and sex. (James 1996: 85)
To the extent that this distorted, commercialised and utilitarian view of
sex12 dominates the cultural landscape, it has the potential to rob men of the power
and beauty of their sexuality, and inevitably their human dignity13 . A particular
mythology of sexuality has developed, and men are seemingly driven to live the
myth. The common masculine mythology for sex revolves around men as sexual
athletes. This myth views sex as a sport, has its own language, involves scorekeeping and conquest, and is oriented toward performance and reward. Two predominant roles of men can be identied within the sexual myth. Men are rstly
expected to fulll the role of the sexual warriorto conquer and possess as many
women as possible as a proof of their potency. Secondly, men must fulll the role

11

12

13

In the deepest experience of our sexuality there is the desire for and the expression of intimate
communityof the self with other body-selves and with God. Louw (2008: 327) contends that
sexuality touches the very fabric of human life because is part and parcel of our being human and
functions as an expression of human intimacy. It is intrinsically connected to the ensoulment
of the body and the embodiment of the soul. Sexuality is actually a spiritual issue, because it
expresses a persons innermost being. The recognition and celebration of the sexual dimension
in our relationship with God is therefore important if we want to overcome the subject-object
split which surfaces so often in religious experience. The inability to overcome this feeling of a
dualistic split between the body-self and God can let the cognitive-experience of godly immanence become vague, according to Nelson (1978: 34). Because of this existential estrangement
God is no longer experienced as: vital indwelling presence, permeating and giving life to the
relationships and the basic stuff of everyday life. When God is only object over against subject,
immanence recedes. And when immanence fades, even Gods transcendence becomes less real.
Vorster (2005: 906) contends that a utilitarian ethics forms the foundational norm of modern
sexuality. Modern sexual attitudes and practices are closely related to a consumerist culture that
is the product of market capitalism and economic globalization, and which practices a distorted
form of utilitarian ethics that measures everything according to its utility. On the sexual terrain
consumerism manifests itself in the performance attitude. As soon as a person loses his or her
sexual attractiveness and capabilities he or she is deemed not worthy of sexual love anymore.
Sexual identity and human dignity are closely related to each other. Grenz (1990:4) rightly
states that sexuality runs deeper than the physical features that allow the reproductive function.
It pertains to the deepest levels of our personality, entails a psychological, spiritual and biological dimension, inuences a human beings every act and determines our total response to life.
Though sex is a private act of intimacy that has direct consequences for our personal dignity, it
also has an undeniable inuence on the dignity of society as a whole.

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of the sexual worker, to make love, perform, to produce the intended result
satisfying the women. (James 1996: 8687)
Sexual behaviour therefore explicitly conrms manhood. It makes most men
feel manly. Robert Brannon (1976) has identied the four traditional rules of
American manhood as No Sissy stuff, Be a Big Wheel, Be a Sturdy Oak, Giveem
Hell. These four rules lead to a sexuality built around accumulating partners
(scoring), emotional distance, and risk taking. Men are supposed to be ever ready
for sex, constantly seeking sex, and constantly seeking to escalate every encounter
so that intercourse will result14 . The emotional distancing of the sturdy oak is considered necessary for adequate male sexual functioning. Risk-taking becomes a
centrepiece of male sexuality. Sex is about adventure, excitement, danger taking
chances. Responsibility seems to be a word that seldom turns up in male sexual
discourse. And this, of course, has serious medical side effects: STDs, HIV etc.
The continuing effect of the current sexual pedagogy of a globalising massmedia culture is devastating to the psychic and moral health of young men. Depending on the cultural voices that a man chooses to listen to, sexuality is either
celebrated or condemned. Therefore, many men experience a dualistic split as
they feel driven to sexual experience, and yet react to prevailing cultural mores
and trends.
The vast amount of money and energy spent demonising or defending sexuality in our culture is indicative of the inordinate social xation upon sexuality.
Rather than being celebrated as a gift of God given to enhance and enrich life,
sex has become a source of great pain for men . . . Whether gay or straight, men
live with confusion and shame relative to their sexuality . . . an underdeveloped
sexuality inhibits mens ability to love themselves, others or God. (James 1996:
8889)
This shocking realityof the pain which sexuality causes in many mens (and womens)
livesmust be taken very seriously by Christian counsellors and the eld of pastoral care.
14

This type of traditional expectationthat men should be ever ready for sexdenies the holistic
nature of human beings and degrades sexuality to a mere biological activity, as is always the
case with pornography. Thus, pornography (porneia)is in essence dehumanising, not only because it reduces sex to biological exercise, but also because of its self-centred nature. According
to Louw (2008: 338339) pornography refers very specically to sexual exploitation and the dehumanization of sex so that human beings are treated as things, or commodities. It is therefore
not nakedness per se or the viewing of genitals, but when this is placed within the framework
of promiscuity. Pornography points in the direction of the portrayal or the description of the
unequal misuse of power, violent sexuality (physical and psychological violence against others
and oneself) promoting promiscuity. In this regard pornography is the description or portrayal
of obscenity with the effect to violate the dignity and rights of the human person through the
exploitation and commercialization of sexuality and sex . . . Pornography reduces sex to the
level of animal copulation and tends to rob sex of intimacy and tenderness. (own italics).

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Sexual biotechnology and the masculine body as technological

product
In the well-known South African (Afrikaans) daily newspaper, Die Burger (11
October 2002), the heading of an article about masculinity by Emile Joubert states:
Manne word net al hoe meer ontman (Men are more and more emasculated). In
the introduction of the article he writes (own translation): The ever-continuing
conspiracy to emasculate men continues incessantly. You can nowadays not even
turn the TV on without being exposed to something which questions your own or
your fellow males virility.
Jouberts introductory remarks therefore implicates that mens masculinity is
directly veried by their sexual performance-ability (or virility). This afrms my
assumption that the Western culture in general (which includes the South African
society) stillto an overwhelming degreeconstrue male identity by means of sexual interpretation schemes (Van der Watt 2007: 191240). Joubert argues further
(own translation): And in-between the smutty TV-advertisement prances wherein
the soccer-hero Pele admits that he had erection problems. Just to rub it in, see.
Because if the Sportsman of the previous centurys tools15 collapse, what are the
chances that Mr. John Citizen will evade the same fate? It all smells like a feministic conspiracy on the airwaves and self-doubt seems to be a daily phenomenon.
With (good) reason.
Jouberts tone and style of writing is distinctively insurgent against the medias apparent conspiracy to emasculate men more and more (manne al meer
te ontman), as if mens masculine identity is dependent on their ability to save
their tools from caving in. Last-mentioned is throughout apparently still the
hegemonic stereotypical masculine assumption.
In the past two to three decades there was an upsurge in research which was
focused on the amalgamation of technology and medical science to create postmodern or cyborgian bodies16 , including the construction of sexual or gendered
bodies through operations, implants, hormones, substances, tools and procreative15

16

The use of this instrumental word is very insightful in terms of the everyday masculine understanding of sexuality. Nelson (1988: 34) asserts: When we who are male think of sexuality, we
usually think of sex, and that means genital experience . . . This genitalization also means that
our sexual organs are highly important to our male self-images. Although books about sexuality tell us size isnt important, most men feel differently about it. Impotence further remains
an enormous threat to mens masculinity and well-being, as it is evident out of the quotations
from Die Burger.
In this regard Anne Balsamo writes (1999): . . . the technological production of identities (become) for sale and rent. Material bodies shop the global marketplace for cultural identities that
come in different forms . . . the most dramatic (form) as the physical transformation of the corporeal body accomplished through surgical methods. Thus the natural body is technologically
transformed into a sign of culture. (Balsamo 1999: 280)

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technologies. This growing eld of research about biotechnology and sex made a
thorough exploration of the ways in which gender; sexuality and procreation were
expanded, restricted, noted, researched and controlled by technology in the twentieth century17 .
Bordo (1997) contends thatin a culture in which organ transplants, lifeextension machinery, microsurgery, and articial organs have entered everyday
medicinehumans seem on the verge of practical realization of the seventeenthcentury imagination of body as machine. But if we have technically and technologically realized that conception, she argues that metaphysically we have deconstructed it: In the early modern era, machine imagery helped to articulate a totally
determined human body whose basic functionings the human being was helpless
to alter. The then-dominant metaphors for this bodyclocks, watches, collections
of springs imagined a system that is set, wound up, whether by nature or by God
the watchmaker, ticking away in predictable, orderly manner, regulated by laws
over which the human being has no control. Understanding the system, we can
help it to perform efciently, and we can intervene when it malfunctions. But we
cannot radically alter its conguration (Bordo 1997: 335). In place of that materiality, we now have what Bordo calls cultural plastic. In place of God the
watchmaker, we now have ourselves, the master sculptors of that plastic. Popular culture does not apply any brakes to these fantasies of rearrangement and
self-transformation. Rather, we are constantly told that we can choose our own
bodies.
Therefore, in this era of late-modernity and capitalism, people (specically
those in technologically advanced countries) now possess a new, transformed relationship with biotechnology; one that now reaches past healing to the transformation of bodies18 : Thus, in a postmodern world, where bodies are a collection
of various parts, and sexuality is fractured and dispersed in and around the body,
the surgeons knife and hormonal treatments become tools for sexual enabling,
reinvention, and goal-attainment. (Loe 2000: 102).

The creed of big, hard and up remains intact

In the light of the above-mentioned it can be argued that the twenty-rst century
therefore introduces a new era of mass-marketed sexual biotechnology. This is
the era in which the magic bullet for sexual energy, condence and masculinity
17
18

See Van der Watt 2007: 459.

See Bordos book (1993), Unbearable Weight, for an excellent work by one of Americas foremost feminist philosopherson the multiple cultural meanings that have been laid upon the
female body. Framing that body as contested terrain, Bordo both cherishes its vulnerability and
celebrates its resilience and resistance.

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arrive in the form of a pill. In the Viagra era large amounts of men joins the
army of those bodies whos tools collapsed, and need xing19 . According to
Meika Loe (2000)20 most doctors and consumers agree that the loss of erectile
functioning is apparently synonymous with the loss of masculinity. This conrms
the main point of Emile Jouberts article in Die Burger (referred to here above),
as well as the main argument of a growing group of other researchers21 on male
sexual bodies, who contend that: sexuality is the area in which masculinity is
proved, and that it is consequently (in most cases) the most integral part of male
identity.
Loe (2000:118) describes the whole scenario in a striking way as follows: At
the turn of the century, partly in reaction to the gains of womens liberation and female sexual empowerment, at a time of self-help movements, great social change,
and personal crisis22 , the desire to x and erect male sexuality and power in a
patriarchal society appears to be strong . . . it is now argued that men are buying into commercially packaged manhood in many forms, including amped-up
virility, and technologically enhanced super-manhood.
Viagra therefore epitomizes the rising acceptability of technologically improved bodies in the new postmodern era. After a history of medical expertises
application of technology on womens bodies, men are now also ear-marked for
improvement. As Loe (2000) contends: As male bodies digress from normal
(erect and penetrating) sexuality, techno-scientic advances promise to x the
problem, and thus the patriarchal machine. Thus, Viagra is both a material and
cultural technology producing and reshaping gender and sexuality under the guise
of techno-scientic progress. (2000: 97)
19

20

21
22

Loe (2000) uses Michael Foucaults understanding of power to explore the ways in which social
theorists, doctors and consumers take part in a continuing dialogue about the construction of
bodies, genders and selves. These consumers and doctors try to make sense of biotechnology
and masculinity as they come into contact with Viagra: Through multiple and varied discourses
of trouble and repair, consumers grapple with bodies, manhood and medical diagnoses and
expose as constructs that which we take for granted. In this context, I argue that Viagra is
imagined and utilized as a tool for xing and producing masculinity, but what form this takes
and how this gets played out is varied and complex . . . Viagra is employed by practitioners as
a tool, similar to jumper cables, to jump-start the male machine (2000: 104)
Loe (2000) uses ethnographic data to examine the use and circulation of techno-scientic developments, together with the ways in which masculinity and heterosexuality are reproduced, as
well as attacked, criticised and transformed by people who prescribe, distribute, market or use
Viagra. She contends that Viagra is currently understood and implemented (within medical and
social circles in America) as an instrument to try to ward off or treat the crisis of masculinity.
One such researcher is R.W. Connell in his seminal book, Masculinities (1995).
Many references can be made to the phenomenon and impact of the current experience of crisis
among men. The limited scope of this article makes an in-depth investigation thereof impossible.
Compare Kimmel (1987a) and Horrocks (1994); as examples in this regard.

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The implication of the construction of the male body as sexually potent, or

as a technologically-improved machine can both be helpful and hurtful, as Loe
indicated doctors and male consumers discovered. The status of cultural assumptions about masculinity in the West however often remains worrying: We live in a
culture that encourages men to think of themselves as their penises, a culture that
still conates male sexuality with something that we call potency . . . Today
phallo-centrism is perpetuated by a ourishing medical construction that focuses
exclusively on penile erections as the essence of mens sexual function and satisfaction . . . (it) perpetuates a detached, unemotional masculinity. (Leo 2000:
119, own italics).
The fact remains: male sexuality is strongly driven in the direction of genital
centrality. According to Horrocks (1994: 157) the two critical areas of the body
for many men are the head and the penis. The head is the instrument of thought,
and therefore the source of intellectual and organizational power; and the penis,
while potentially the most potent, is also the most vulnerable area. It is a place
from where he expresses almost anything: love, hate, fear, tenderness, contempt,
friendship, disgust. Horrocks (1994: 162) contends simply: the penis is the man.
One cannot talk about penises separate from their owners, just as we cannot talk
about sexuality in abstract, or talk about sexual problems separate from the
problems that people have in relationships . . . So men feel about their penis as
they feel about themselves: proud, shy, afraid, disgusted, ignorant, loving, hating,
angry.

The creative tension between power and vulnerability in male embodiment

These above-mentioned assertions imply that the penis is simultaneously the
source of a mans greatest vulnerability, and his greatest feeling of power. Such an
interpretation of the penis epitomizes the way I perceive male identity: it is contradictory and ambivalentsimultaneously powerful and frail. It constantly wrestles
with the feminine, absorbs it and then expels it; it purports to be tough, and then
reveals its fragility; it seeks to hide neediness and intense feelingand privately
clings to others23 .
Ganzevoort (2003) also highlights this tension as the tension between power
(kracht) and vulnerability (kwetsbaarheid)24 . It is especially true for boys and
23

24

Many men suffer great anxiety and depression because they are not manly in the stereotyped
manner, or because they have feelings that seem forbidden to men. They are very lonely because
they do not know how to communicate to someone openly about feelings, and hence always
remain cut-off. They feel deeply abused, although often they dont know how or why, or from
whom this happened.
Capraro (2000) contends that traditional male identity and gender role strain results in the contradictory nature of masculinity: men are both powerful and powerless. In objective social analy-

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

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men (but also nowadays all the more for girls and women as well) that power is
a highly appreciated characteristic: everything must be fast, powerful, robust and
unshakable. Vulnerability, on the contrary, is evaluated in a more negative fashion. But Ganzevoort (2003: 111) contends that these two concepts are intricately
interwoven: The endurance of pain can indeed be experienced as heroic, but still
it is rather then an indication of power than of vulnerability. Nevertheless these
twopower and vulnerability inseparably belong to each other. (my own translation). However, the reigning creed on mens bodies thus (still) seems to be: big,
hard and up25 .
Nelson (1978: 6668) furthermore conrms the notion that there is an exaggerated male concern over the size of their genitals, a factor which is not unrelated
to the bigger is better-pattern of masculine cultural values. Size of bodily structure is generally viewed as proof of masculinity and the ability to control. But
last-mentioned nurtures overly self-aware, mechanistic perspectives about sex,
and it leads to the decrease in capacities of self-sacrice, tenderness, ecstasy and
play . . . and consequently cause a distortion of intimacy and dignity. The (over)genitalisation of masculine sexuality implies the loss of whole-body erotica and
sensitivity.
The cultural fantasy of the huge penis, like the idealized female body, still
remains rmly intact, according to Bordo (1999: 7073). Even before cosmetic
surgeons began their campaigns, advertisements promulgating miracle products
for increasing penis size both exploited and exacerbated already existing male
insecurities by drawing on the equation: penis size = manliness26 . The popular

25

26

sis, men as a group have power over women, but in their subjective experience of the world, men
as individuals do not feel powerful. In fact, they feel powerless (Capraro 2000:310). When men
are not powerful (thus, when they experience gender role strain), they may often compensate
for their lack of power or seek an alternative to obtaining social power through, e.g. exercising
violence or abusing alcohol. In this regard Kaufman (1994) aptly concludes that mens social
power is the source of individual power and privilege, but it is also the source of the individual
experience of pain and alienation (Kaufman 1994:142143). In this regard, gender role strain
theory can be related to the issue of power and performance. See also Lemon (1991: 233) for
reasons why, due to social, economic and political change, men have been confronted with the
increasing irrelevance of the traditional male gender role, and how this has prompted a crisis of
legitimacy insofar as the assumptions of hegemonic masculinity are concerned.
In a chapter titled Up-manship, James Dittes (1985: 71, 142) suggests that a mans question
How was it? after lovemaking, of course, means How did I do? Did I reach, did I ll, did
I lastenough? To be a man is to be expected, and to expect oneself, to be forever up, even
one-up, however capricious a mans private parts in responding to appeals to performance-ondemand: Batter up: Youre up, kid! Get your speed up, Wake up! Chin up! Grow up.
Measure up. (Dittes 1985: 140141).
Very recently a wonderbra for men has even been developed (i.e. underpants that are specially
developed to increase the appearance-size of male genitals). See Van der Watt 2007:471 for
more information. See also http://www.aussiebum.com/

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culture however not only compares penis size with manliness, but specically
only the hard, potent and erect penis is seen as man enough27 to comment upon.
One example is a simple advertisement for erectile dysfunction / impotency
placed in the newspaper, Rapport28 , wherein the catchphrase at the top reads: Regain you masculinity: return to a normal, active sex life out of impotence (translated out of Afrikaans). The (problematic) implicit message is clear: if you lose
your potency, you lose your manhood. What is the solution? Again: Viagra, the
potency pill.
In summary: There are many different cultural messages29 that proclaim contradictory orders to men all the time (via the mass media)30 . Sometimes these
messages are challenging and aggressive, and many times confusing. Most models in advertisements and on magazine covers31 stare coldly at the viewer, defying
the observer to view them in any way other than how they have chosen to present
themselves: as powerful, armored, emotionally inpenetrable. I am a rock, their
bodies (and sometimes their genitals) seem to proclaim.
But, there are many men (including myself) that do not fully agree with these
cultural messages that tell them their power resides in their pants. I have indicated
that male sexuality is strongly driven in the direction of genital centrality, but
that although the reigning creed on mens bodies therefore (still) seems to be:
big, hard and up, men need to re-evaluate this dominating discourse critically

27

28
29

30

31

The erect penis is often endowed with an amplied consciousness that is bold, unafraid, and
always ready. Indeed, To be exposed as soft at the core is one of the worst things a man can
suffer in this culture, according to Bordo (1999: 55). Henceforth, a man always has to be able
to perform powerfully and potently in the arena of sexualityhe has to get his penis erect and
remain erect during sexual intercourse. If not, he is relegated to simply being not man enough.
At least, this is the dominant message of the mass media.
Mens Clinic International, 2003.
See Van der Watt (2007:156) for an evaluation of the effects of the commercial exploitation of
men and women as sex-objects and the concomitant voyeuristic sexualisation of their bodies
(with its packaging as visual erotica); as well as for an illumination of the need to consume
more commodities in order to ll the intimacy-voidthat is left by the erotic materials in the
media. Refer also to Du Preez, 2007).
A closer look at the stereotyped images of men in our popular culture (in Van der Watt
2007:124190) showed that images are found which provide an insight into the expectations
of the culture, and also into the unconscious depths of masculinity. The ambivalence was indicated in the double messages that are projected via mass media to men and boys. That is, both
images that consolidate or reinforce the stereotypes of masculinity, and that subvert it. Both
the messages of macho man and something quite different were found (it not only touched on
embodiment, but with the whole experience of manhood and masculinity). This causes much of
the uncertainty and confusion among many men and their experiences of their manhood today.
See Van der Watt 2007:124190, 438456 for a detailed analysis of these messages or discourses.

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

107

and learn to embody alternative ways of being men, i.e. valuing vulnerability as
necessary equivalent to power.

Signicant pastoral/theological perspective to consider

In this article the important question of the relationship between patriarchal power
and male sexuality was addressed, mainly from sociological and psychological
angles of incidence. Male embodiment was explored in order to give a critical
analysis of how most male bodies have been objects and sites of power. The
point of the presentation was rather to describe than to prescribe. Ultimately, it
is now the task of pastoral caregivers to make meaningful connections (within a
hermeneutical theological framework), between this cursory cultural analysis of
some sociological and psychological aspects of masculinity, and the problem of
power and embodiment within a Christian spirituality.
The core framework within which embodiment and power was viewed in this
article was patriarchyas the masculine dominance of the interpretation of reality,
and simultaneously as the normative paradigm of socio-political operation in the
Western world today. It was asserted that patriarchy does not only cripple men
and masculinities in terms of their functioning in society on a human level. It also
inuences their relationships with God in many fundamental ways. It was argued
that the dominant cultural images of masculinities within a globalising life-order
suggest and promote materialistic values such as performance, mechanisation and
functionality. Mens identity, self-understanding and spirituality are indeed shaped
in many ways by these images, and this (in most cases) distorts experiences of
dignity and real intimacy.
I suggest that some signicant pastoral theological questions that should now
be asked in light of the above mentioned perspectives, are:
How can the image of the crucied and risen Christ serve as a meaningful and
normative-critical counter-image to the macho-images portrayed by most postmodern masculinities (which many men presently experience as confusing)?
How can this counter-image of Christ transcend the abuse of power, the focus
on performance and the commodication of male embodiment, in mens lives?
How can a pastoral anthropological perspective be employed in order to shift
the emphasis on male identity in terms of gender and sexuality, towards a spiritual understanding of male identity in terms of human dignity and human destiny (i.e. the quest for meaning)?
I contend that a pastoral theological re-interpretation of masculinities presents
a critical factor on the cultural notion that manhood is something that must be
validated by means of performance or doing functions (especially on the terrain of sexuality, through virility). The culturally-determined understanding of

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masculinityin terms of brutal power and controlcan in this sense be emasculated. In the light of Christs resurrection, there is new hope for the reinterpretation of masculinity. The postmodern mans resurrection is therefore not
guaranteed by the Viagra magic blue pill, but in actual fact by the resurrection of
Christ who daily unleashes and afrms new dimensions of hope in the globalised
life-matrix.
Thus, some other questions for pastoral caregivers to consider, are:
How can patriarchal God-concepts lead to assumptions which inuence men
and their relationship to their community and to the divine?
How does the patriarchal framework denote experiences of the transcendent as
dichotomised from the immanent; the spiritual as separated from the material;
and creation as separated from creator?
How does religion and Christian theology, i.e. the way in which there is talked
and thought about God, exert an important inuence on the institutionalisation of patriarchal values and power, and e.g. on the subsequent oppression of
women etc.

Conclusion
Masculine power is largely exercised through self-regulationa process of identity work, one consequence of which is to privilege and validate ways of being male/man/masculine in particular cultural settings. The practical implications
hereof for pastoral caregivers is that we must accept that we simultaneously (consciously and unconsciously) participate in the elds of power and knowledge and
therefore we must be extremely aware of this within pastoral-therapeutical relations. When we engage in language, it is never a neutral activityit is also a part
of our knowledge/power elds. Practically, I presume that through creating a new
theological eld of language we can possibly deconstruct and make attempts to
re-interpret masculinities in many meaningful ways. (Van der Watt, 2007).
In light of all of the above-mentioned, I contend that mens power to change
cannot come forth out of the patriarchal system, but out of a totally different resource. The power to change must develop out of deance against injustice and
the main focus should be relationships of respect, human dignity and loving hospitality with others, in order to create an alternative social reality. This power is
therefore rather spiritual power, not patriarchal power.
The ultimate power of masculinity thus ultimately lies in embodying vulnerability and mutual relationality, contesting unilateral and hierarchical relations.
Within this context manhood is not equal to the size of achievement or success,
nor performances or powerful penetration. No, it rather denotes the capacity for
lovingly hospitable relationships and the measure of the souls depth of character,

T HE PERIL OF PATRIARCHAL POWER

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i.e. its capacity to embody and afrm the courage (just) to be . . . with dignity and
real intimacy.

Bibliograpy
Altman, D., 2004. Sexuality and globalization. Agenda, 62, pp. 2228.
Anderson, H., 1997. Men and grief: The hidden sea of tears without outlet. In C.C. Neuger
and J.N. Poling, eds. The care of men. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1997, pp. 203226.
Balsamo, A., 1999. Forms of technological embodiment: reading the body in contemporary culture. In J. Price and M. Shildrick, eds. Feminist theory and the body: a reader.
Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 1999, pp. 278289.
Bantjes, J.R., 2004. The gender straightjacket: a qualitative investigation of a group of
South African adolescent males cognitive schemata for masculinity and gender roles.
M.A. Psychology UNISA.
Bly, R., 1991. Iron John: a book about men. London: Element.
Bordo, S., 1993. Unbearable weight: feminism, Western culture, and the body. Berkeley:
University of California Press.
Bordo, S., 1997. Material Girl: The effacements of postmodern culture. In R.N. Lancaster and M. Di Leonardo, eds. The gender/sexuality reader: culture history, political
economy. London: Routledge, 1997, pp. 335358.
Bordo, S., 1999. The male body: A New Look at Men in Public and in Private. New York:
Faggar, Strauss and Giroux.
Brannon, R., 1976. The male sex role: our cultures blueprint of manhood, and what its
done for us lately. In D. David and R. Brannon, eds. The forty-nine percent majority:
the male sex role. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1976, pp. 145.
Brown, J.D. et al., 2006. Sexy Media Matter: Exposure to Sexual Content in Music,
Movies, Television, and magazines predicts black and white adolescents sexual behavior. Pediatrics, 117(4), pp. 10181027.
Capraro, R.L., 2000. Why college men drink: alcohol, adventure, and the paradox of
masculinity. Journal of American College Health, 48 (6), pp. 307315.
Castells, M., 1997. The power of identity: Volume IIThe information age: economy, society and culture. Massachusetts: Blackwell Publishers Inc.
Chittister, J.D., 1998. Heart of esh: a feminist spirituality for women and men. Grand
Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans.
Connell, R.W., 1987. Gender and Power: Society, the Person and Sexual politics. Stanford: Stanford University Press.
Connell, R.W., 1995.Masculinities. London: Cambridge Press.
Connell, R.W., 2002. Gender. Cambridge: Polity Press.
Dawn. M.J., 1993. Sexual character: beyond technique to intimacy. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans.
Dittes, J. E., 1985. The male predicament: On being a man today. San Francisco: Harper
& Row.
Du Preez, A., 2007. Le Erotiek: beloftes van erotiese vervulling in populre visuele
kultuur. In C. Vos and D.J. Human, eds. Liefde is die Grootste: Oor Erotiek en Seksualiteit. Pretoria: Protea Boekhuis, 2007, pp. 249260.

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Ellison, M.M., 1996a. Erotic Justice: A liberating ethic of sexuality. Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press.
Fiorenza, E.S., 1984. Bread not stone: The challenge of feminist biblical interpretation.
Boston:Beacon Press.
Ganzevoort, R.R., 2003. Wordend lichaamwordend verhaal. Tijdschrift Geestelijk
Leven, [online.] 59 (2), pp. 109120. Available from: http://www.ruardganzevoort.nl/
a03worde.htm [cited 15 February 2005]
Gauntlett, D., 2002. Media, gender and identity: and introduction. London: Routledge
Giddens, A., 1992. The transformation of intimacy: Sexuality, love and eroticism in Modern Societies. Stanford, California: Stanford University Press.
Grenz, S.J., 1990. Sexual ethics. A biblical perspective. London: Word Publishing.
Hedon, F., 2003. Anxiety and erectile dysfunction: a global approach to Erectile Dysfuction enhances results and quality of life. International Journal of Impotence Research,
15 (Suppl 2), S16-S19.
Horrocks, R., 1994. Masculinity in Crisis: Myths, Fantasies and Realities. London: St.
Martins Press.
James, D.C., 1996. What are they saying about masculine spirituality? New York: Paulist
Press.
Joubert, E., 2002. Manne word al meer ontman. Die Burger, October 11.
Kaufman, M., 1994. Men, feminism, and mens contradictory experience of power. In
H. Brod and M. Kaufman, eds. Theorizing masculinities: Research on men and masculinities. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE, 1994, pp. 142163.
Kimmel, M.S., 1987a. Changing Men: New Directions in Research on Men and Masculinity. SAGE Publications: Newbury Park, California.
Kimmel, M.S. and Messner, M.A., eds. 2004. Mens lives (6th edition). Boston: Pearson
Education, Inc.
Lemon, J., 1991. Images of men and the crisis of masculinity: an exploratory study.
MA.Thesis University of South Africa.
Loe, M., 2000. Fixing broken masculinity: viagra as a technology for the production of
gender and sexuality. Sexuality and Culture, 18 (1), pp. 97125.
Louw, D.J., 2008. Curae Vitae. Illness and the healing of life in pastoral care and counselling: a guide for caregivers. Wellington: Lux Verbi BM.
MacInnes, J., 2001. The crisis of masculinity and the politics of identity. In S.M. Whitehead and F.J. Barrett, eds. The masculinities reader. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2001,
pp. 311329.
Mens Clinic International., 2003. Herwin jou manlikheid.Rapport, 7 December.
Nelson, J.B., 1978. Embodiment: an approach to sexuality and Christian Theology. Minnesota: Augsburg Publishing House.
Nelson, J.B., 1988.The intimate connection: male sexuality, masculine spirituality.
Philadelphia: The Westminster Press.
Pollack, W., 1998. Real boys. New York: Henry Holt & Co.
Raphael, M., 2005. Patriarchy and Matriarchy. In L. Jones, ed. Encyclopedia of Religion
(Vol. 10. 2nd edition). Detroit: Macmillan Reference USA, 2005, pp. 70077009, 15
volumes.
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Sherlock, C., 1996. The doctrine of humanity. Leicester: Inter-varsity Press.

Tong, F., 2004. Pastoral narratives of bereavement care with men. M.Th Thesis University
of South Africa.
van der Watt, J.S., 2007. Images of men and masculinities within cultural contexts: a
pastoral assessment. D. Th. Dissertation University of Stellenbosch.
Verwoerd, M., 1996. God-as-Vader en/of God-as-Moeder: n Feministiese, godsdienslosoese ondersoek en beoordeling van sekere modelle vir God in die Christelike
teologie. M.Phil. Thesis University of Stellenbosch.
Vorster, N., 2005. Human dignity and sexual behavioursa theological perspective. Verbum et Ecclesia, 26/3, pp. 891911.

The Heart of Matter; Body as Blessing

Anne Simmonds

The earth is screaming.

Our bodies are in trouble.
Matter wants to be redeemed1

Ruth was born in western Canada around the same time as my parents th1920s.
I met her when she asked to speak with a chaplain at the hospital where I worked.
She was relieved to see that I was a woman and spent the entire rst visit telling
me why she had no use for the church or for God. I could tell immediately that
Ruth was very sharp. She was a retired university professor and dean, had never
married, and was a born teacher. She wanted me to know why she had no use for
the church or God. She was the second daughter in a family of ve girls living
somewhere on the prairies of central Canada. Her father, a businessman, was a
respected member of the church and community.
He also physically abused his daughters. On a particularly bad day when Ruth
was about 8 years old, her older sister was being knocked about by her father and
pushed down the stairs. Ruth was afraid for her sister, so she ran from her house
to that of the police chief, whom the family knew. He was there, took her in, and
listened to the story: You must come she said, Im afraid my father is going
to kill my sister. He told her to sit in the chair and responded: I cannot come.
You and your sister are your fathers chattels. She asked: what is a chattel? He
continued: You see that chair you are sitting on. That chair belongs to me. If I
want to pick it up and throw it against the wall, I can, because it is mine. You and
your sister are your fathers chattels. There is nothing I can do. On her way back
home that day, Ruth vowed to never marry, and to leave the church as soon as
she could. Her father and the police chief were elders in the church. The God, of
course, which she had no use for, was the Sunday- School god of her childhood.
1

Marion Woodman, Coming Home to Myself; Reections for Nurturing a Womans Body and
Soul, Conari Press, 1998, Page 245.

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I too was raised in a church family where my father was a respected elder. He
did not abuse me, but did believe that strapping us when we were bad was his
god-given responsibility. The threat of his army belt was enough to keep me at
least trying with all my might to be a good girl.
I grew up with the notion that the body was a necessary evil and that mine was
not attractive. So for too much of my life, I have not loved or valued my body.
However, the one part that I began to appreciate sooner rather than later was my
feet. I remember my rst pair of high heels. I was 16 and had fought hard with my
father to allow me to wear them. This was not the rst time of ghting over what
kind of shoes I was allowed to wear. Like much of the dress and behaviour dictated
by my parents, such details had the stamp of divine approval or disapproval! While
not specically articulated as such, I believed that God objected to sandals, makeup, and sundresses! However, the battle for high heels was worth it. I liked how
they looked on my feet and how they made me feel grown up! Imagine my horror
on the rst day of wearing them as I tripped going down the short ight of stairs
to the car where my father was waiting to drive the family to church.
Much later, after years of nursing in sensible shoes, my life and subsequent
ministry took me back into the hospital as a chaplainwhere I met Ruth. For more
years than I care to admit, I walked those long corridors in high-heeled shoes, still
liking the way they made my feet and ankles look. Through those many years there
was not much else I truly accepted about my body! The early messages that many
of us received about our bodies from church and our North American culture told
us that they were lesser, a source of, well, to put it bluntly, sin.
It may well be that truly appreciating my feet was the beginning of my wakingup to the need to care for and to love my entire physical body. It may have begun
when I noticed that while those high-heeled shoes made me look good, they left
me and my feet very fatigued at the end of the day. I also really began to notice
and remember womens feet that I saw in hospital beds, feet that bore the scars of
suffering in fashionable shoes. However, it wasnt just looking at feet in hospital
that made me wake up to my body-self and the way I value it. Learning to love and
care for our physical selves takes more than intellectual assent and understanding.
After all, most of us know intellectually what constitutes a healthy life-styleyou
can read about it any time anywherewhat to eat or not; how to work-out or not;
even how to think or not. But we also know this is not enough. We carry the scars
of psychological, cultural, and theological wounds in our bodies. Sometimes we
have no idea they are even there, so good have we become at covering them over
with all kinds of addictions, including acceptable ones such as work, volunteering,
technology, even sex.
Let me tell you about one of my scars. In the early 1980s during my theological education, I attended a workshop at a retreat house in Pennsylvania, in

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the United States. The workshop was on sexuality and spirituality and featured
James Nelson, author of Embodimentone of the rst books I read on the topic
of sexuality and spirituality. One morning, Robert Raines, the director, offered a
meditation on the story of Jesus healing the woman who had lived with a haemorrhage for twelve years.2 Following his mediation, another clergyman stood up and
said: The problem with this text is that it perpetuates the notion that male blood,
Jesus blood, heals and female blood deles. That he said problem with the
text was the rst thing to catch my attention. Then he cited the following Old Testament reading that refers to women being unclean after childbirth; twice as long
after bearing a female child. In Leviticus3 we read: If a woman conceives and
bears a male child, she shall be ceremoniously unclean seven days; as at the time
of her menstruation, she shall be unclean . . . If she bears a female child, she shall
be unclean two weeks. The law taught that blood, particularly menstrual blood,
was unclean. It taught that the bed that a bleeding woman slept on was unclean,
the furniture she touched was unclean and a man who touched anything that she
had touched was unclean. No one would come to her house. She could not even
go to the market without people moving away because her touch was considered
to be deling. She would not even have access to spiritual help at the synagogue
or from any Rabbi because she was unclean.4
When I heard this, something stirred deep within and I began to sob. Even
though I did not recall ever hearing or reading these texts, I realized that I had
internalized this notion. I felt second-class, not only in the worlds eyes, but also
in Gods eyesand I felt it to my very bones. My very blood was tainted!
This catapulted me along the journey towards healing of my whole being,
which absolutely had to include how I felt about living in my female body. I have
discovered that I am not alone in the need for this particular healing. In her book,
I thought it was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture
of Shame, Brene Brown states that body image and weight emerged as shame
issues in approximately ninety percent of the women she interviewed. What these
women and I have internalized is, what medical doctor Christiane Northrup calls
the original sin of being female.5
Barbara Brown Taylor describes her experience this way: I learned in church
to fear the world, or a least to suspect it. I learned that my body was of the world
and that my bodily shame was appropriate. In the same way that the church was

2
3
4
5

Mark 5:2534.
Leviticus 12: 2 & 5.
Sharon Moon, The Healing Oasis, United Church Publishing House, Canada, page 95.
Christiane Northrup, Womens bodies, Womens Wisdom; Creating physical and Emotional
Health and Healing, Bantam Press, 2006, Page 21.

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holier than the world, so was the spirit holier than the esh . . . I never escaped
the subtle teaching that the world of the esh is not to be trusted.6
But this is not just about women. In his book Why Good People Do Bad
Things, James Hollis writes:
As children, we learn to read the world around us to nd what is acceptable, what dangerous. Many learned that matters of sexual character were not permissible in their family
or religion, and so they associated their own natural impulses and desires as something
evil, or at best furtive and contaminated. So, too, our genuine spiritual aspirations, our
honest questions, curiosities, and intimations of the soul, grow suspect. The by-product
of our necessary collusion with the realpolitik of childhood vulnerability is guilt, shame,
inhibition, and most of all, self-alienation. We all, still today, re-enact these collusions,
suffer this shame and retreat from our wholeness.7

Anne Stirling Hastings, author of Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy talks about
what she calls the sexual shame compartment. She writes:
Our culture denes sex as shameful. Sexual jokes are dirty and sex is not spoken of
openly. We cope with the shaming of sex by creating shame compartments for sexual
activities. By moving into a different consciousness, a shame-based one, we become able
to engage in sexual activities and conversation, but once we leave the shame compartment,
we must isolate our sexuality from our selves.

She goes on to say that men are better at compartmentalizing this shame than
women, which makes healing it in men more difcult. She writes from her role as
therapist:
Women havent been allowed to tuck shame away, to create a shame compartment that
allows us to sidestep the deeply embedded shame of sexuality. As a consequence, the
women were able to remove shame more quickly because they had no trouble accessing
it. My task as a therapist was designing conversation to elicit mens shame, to allow them
to feel and discharge it. As long as they werent able to feel shame, they were unable to
do the emotional work that allowed the shame to be removed from sexuality. The task
with women was to hold the shame down to manageable amounts so they didnt become
overwhelmed and immobilized by it.8

I want to go back to the phrase retreat from our wholeness. My belief is that
deep in each of us is a place that is already whole, completely loved, accepted and
enough. Note that I did not say perfect. Striving for perfection is another issue that
plagues many of us. We are also all wounded. Every life has pain and suffering.
6
7

Barbara Brown Taylor, An Altar in the World, Harper One, 2009, page 1112.
James Hollis, Why Good People Do Bad Things, Understanding Our Darker Selves, Gotham
Books, 2007 pg205.
Anne Stirling Hastings, author of Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy,1991. http://www.
namastecafe.com/ego/sex_energy.htm

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In his book Getting the Love you Want, a Guide for Couples, Harville Hendrix writes:
When you hear the words psychological and emotional damage of childhood, you may
immediately think about serious childhood trauma such as sexual or physical abuse or
the suffering that comes from having parents who divorced or died or were alcoholics.
And for many people this is the tragic reality of childhood. However, even if you were
fortunate enough to grow up in a safe, nurturing environment, you still bear invisible scars
from childhood, because from the very moment you were born you were a completely,
dependent creature with a never-ending cycle of needs. Freud correctly labelled us insatiable beings. And no parents, no matter how devoted, are able to respond perfectly to all
of these changing needs.9

A phrase I learned from Pat Cane of Capacitar10 , is transforming wounds to wisdom. My experience is that it is through our wounds, through healing our particular brokenness that we come to recognize our wholeness and with it our inner
wisdom. Such healing is not just for us, but also ultimately for the good of the
greater whole.
This is Shames Intrinsic Value. Writer Debbie Ford in another book titled
Why Good People do Bad Things goes so far as to refer to shame as a spiritual guide to help us understand and know ourselves at the deepest level, heal
our emotional wounds, and deactivate our negative programming. Its a spiritual
treatmentour souls way of guiding us back home to our authentic nature.
Another story: Many years ago when my rst husband and I were struggling
in our marriage, we were attending a workshop for couples. We agreed to do an
exercise in front of the group in which we felt reasonably comfortable. I dont
remember exactly what the leader had us do, but it touched a place of deep pain
in our relationship and I began to cry. The tears became sobs and in front of this
group, I simply could not stop and no one tried to make me. After what felt like
20 minutes, although, I had lost complete track of time and where I was, I moved
from a place of deep inner pain to a place I can only describe as bliss. I felt totally
surrounded and permeated by love. I emerged, excused myself to have a shower
and returned to the group literally feeling like a new personreborn. I was 32 years
old and in spite of having been raised in the church and told all my life that Jesus
loves me, it was truly the rst time I felt that love in every cell, to the depths of
my being.
Matthew Linn says: healing occurs to the degree I welcome all my feelings
and let myself be loved IN THEM.11
Why am I sharing these personal stories? It is not only to introduce this theme
9
10
11

Harville Hendrix, Getting the Love you Want, Harper Perennial, 1988, page 15.
www.capacitar.org
Quoted in David Kuhl, What Dying People Want. Anchor Canada, pg166.

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in an embodied way, but also to offer encouragement especially for others in ministry to do the same. In my work now with theological students and clergy, I do
not see enough attention given to this deep healing work.
1. In her book Leaving Church Barbara Taylor Brown tells how she assumed
that the practice of ministry alone should nourish her. She describes how feeding others became her food. She writes:
My role and my soul were eating each other alive . . . because I did not know how to
give my soul what it wanted, I continued to play my role, becoming more brittle with
every passing day. My quest to serve God in the church had exhausted my spiritual
savings. My dedication to being good had cost me a fortune in being whole. My desire
to do all things well had kept me from doing the one thing within my power to do,
which was to discover what it meant to be fully human.

In a New York Times article published August 2010, something we see from
within our profession was reported under the title: Taking a Break From the
Lords Work. It read: Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade,
their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen.
Many would change jobs if they could. The article also states: Clergy health
studies say that many clerics have boundary issuesdened as being too easily overtaken by the urgency of other peoples needs.
2. A Research study by Wayne Perry published in the Journal of Pastoral Care12
in 2003 continues to be relevant. It is titled: First Look: What brings Clergy
candidates into Ministry and what Happens when they dont get it? The results
showed, contrary to expectations, that clergy in this annual conference are
signicantly more likely than the general population to become physically ill
when placed under stress. One of the major stressors identied in this study
was the likelihood that the clergy persons will not receive the high levels of
afrmation and reinforcement they look for. The study showed that clergy have
a higher need for ongoing support and personal reinforcement than nearly
90% of the general population.
3. Writes Tony Everett in The Clergy Journal, a pastor who is motivated primarily by the need for three Asafrmation, acceptance, and approvalsoon becomes overwhelmed by the three Pspooped, perplexed, and pathetic.13 Now,
of course, some of the stress in ministry is a result of the incredible changes
at least in our North American culture and the role religion plays. One aspect
12

13

Wayne Perry, First Look: What brings Clergy candidates into Ministry and what Happens when
they dont get it? The Journal of Pastoral Care Counseling, 2003, Vol: 57, Issue: 1, Pages: 1525.
Tony Everett, See Saws, Stewardship, and Self-care The Clergy Journal, Sept 2004

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might be summed up in the newspaper headlines in one of our local papers last
January titled War on God.14 That is beyond the scope of this presentation,
however, it is my observation that many professional religious have not learned
to use the tools, those being the spiritual practices of our Christian tradition,
that might sustain them and encourage this discovery of what it means to be
fully human. For me, this work includes attention to my bodily, emotional, sexual self as part of prayer and other spiritual practices. It means bringing all of
my personal story and experiences, no matter how painful, to the one I call
God. Recently in offering spiritual direction, a clergy woman acknowledged
that she feels she cannot bring her most wounded physical self to the Divine.
She fears that the God she preaches to others about would not want her. Years
ago a sister who was coming to me was falling in love with her CPE supervisor. I asker her how she might pray about this. She responded: O, I couldnt
possibly talk to God about it. How many other spiritual caregivers hold shame
and other dark secret about themselves?
In our work we know the importance of story. For over ten years now I have
been leading healing retreats for women in the area of body and sexuality.
Over and over I have witnessed how many women have something they feel
such shame about that they have never shared it with another. It is NOT usually
sexual abuse but experiences associated with the normal life stages that have to
do with the body and sexuality. I have witnessed as Im sure many of you have
what Sue Monk Kidd states:
Story can become a holy container in which an individual confronts and overcomes
pain and fear . . . inner tale transforms by re-orienting us to new truth and insight,
breaking open the hidden holy that dwells in our experience. The word story means
to knowthe divine surprises us with glimpses and truths we did not grasp until we
tried to tell the story.15

Regarding wounds to wisdom, Barbara Brown Taylor writes:

Such wisdom is far more than information. To gain it, you need more than a brain, you
need a body that gets hungry, feels pain, thrills to pleasure, craves rest. This is your
physical pass into the accumulated insight of all who have preceded you on this earth.
To gain wisdom, you need esh and blood, because wisdom involves bodiesand not
just human bodies, but bird bodies, tree bodies, water bodies and celestial bodies.
According to the Talmud, every blade of grass has its own angel bending over it,
14
15

Torontos Eye Weekly, January 611, 2011

Sue Monk Kidd, FirstLight, Guideposts books, 2006, page 189.

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whispering, Grow, Grow.16

Might we also have an angel bending over us whispering Grow, grow! The
Gospel of Thomas (70:1.2) reads: If you bring forth what is within you, what
you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you,
what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
Last fall, I had the opportunity to take a brief course at Emmanuel Theological College at the University of Toronto, titled Women, Gender and Islam.
Through it, I recognized that our Muslim sisters are struggling against patriarchy and hierarchy in their tradition in the same way feminist Christian scholars were from the 1960s onward. As in Christianity, much has been read into
the sacred texts of Islam, and much was adopted from culture, as rules regarding gender and sexuality were developed. And as in Christianity, there is
much diversity in the way texts are not only translated but interpreted. There
were numerous schools of Muslim jurists who attempted to interpret the Koran
and establish laws. It is through these rules that the control and subjugation
of women has been legitimized and institutionalized throughout the history of
the Muslim world. And, it is through these rules that gender inequality is sustained in the contemporary world. In the course of the twentieth century, while
Muslim states put aside Islamic legal theory which dates back to the middle
ages in all other areas of law, they have retained its provisions on marriage and
divorce, selectively reformed, codied and grafted them onto a modern legal
system, thus perpetuating gender inequality in Islamic legal tradition. We need
to support our Muslim brothers and sisters who are also struggling to overcome
centuries of gender inequality and unhealthy understanding and expression of
sexuality.17
Our Jewish sisters and brothers did not grow up with the Churchs notion of
Original Sin, (which did not become doctrine until the 5th century CE and has
no biblical foundation) however they have their issues. Jewish men used to pray
daily giving thanks that they were not born women. The Orthodox still do. A
Jewish writer states: Our guilt and shame originate deep within our culture.
Benedictine sister Joan Chittister tells this personal story that happened when
women religious were in the process of changing form medieval habits to contemporary clothes:
She found herself in an elevator with a charming middle-aged man who made
interesting conversation for 50 oors. When they reached the lobby he asked her
16
17

Barbara Brown Taylor, IBID, page 14.

Towards Gender Equality: Muslim Family Laws and the Shariah by Ziba Mir-Hosseini

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and what do you do, young lady? She responded, Im a Benedictine sister. His face
changed, embarrassed at himself, even angrier at her Do you realize, I could have
made a pass at you? Why arent you in a habit? She reects: I couldnt help by think
of all the women who had been raped and all the men who went free of the charges
because of what the women were wearing.

When we blame another person for our inability to take responsibility for our
sexual behaviour, it suggests a rather immature sexuality. That this notion remains imbedded in our collective cultural understanding, I believe suggests an
immaturity in our sexual development.
Chittister continues: We made the body an enemy. The physical life came
to be regarded as some kind of bastard child of creation. The division of life
into realms of the sacred and the secular has divided us against ourselves. It
has blocked our experience of the divine in the human. It has divinized some
categories of the naturalmade some things holy that are not, like clerical functionaries or instruments of liturgyand made the rest of the natural dangerous,
if not obscene.18
By shutting ourselves off from parts of ourselvesthe parts we deem unacceptable, by maintaining a distinction between sacred and secular, we contribute to
and maintain not only our own wounds but also those of mother earth.
In my own healing journey, I found that while the insights of many years of
analysis were invaluable, the healing that needed to happen at a deep visceral,
cellular spiritual level happened on my silent retreats. It is was there, away
from the ordinary pressures of daily life, that I could respond to the deep inner
places in need of divine light and healing. Only as I gave over to these places
and the feelings experienced in them did I move through what often felt like
hell into resurrection, the transformation of wounds to wisdom.
One of many retreats included an invitation from my spiritual director to pray
with the story of the annunciation. I imagined I was Mary. I internalized
the words: Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your
womb.19 I have come to understand that Mary is US, not just women, but men
also. Mary was called to birth Jesus into the world. If, in the simplest of understanding, God is Love and Jesus is understood as physical manifestation of that
lovethen each and every one of us is called to birth more lovemore Divinity
into the world.
Building on this metaphor of pregnancy, gestation and giving birth, it strikes
me that sexuality and spirituality are intimately connected. The reproductive
18
19

Joan Chittister, Called to Question, Sheed and Ward, 2004, 99100.

Luke 1:4

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area of our bodies, the level of the second chakra in the energy system, is also
the area of creativity. This bringing to life of our deepest, truest self, which
is our gift to the world is not a lofty birthing. It is a get down, get dirty, get
into the darkness sort of thing. A new life forming in the womb takes a long
timejust ask any pregnant woman around her eighth month! The growth takes
place in the dark. We are often terried of going into the dark places within,
engaging our shadow. Isaiah 45:3 afrms the message of new life coming from
dark places: I will give you the treasures of the darkness and riches hidden in
secret places.
Neither for Mary or us is this an easy process. Like Mary who went with
haste to an older woman, we too need the support of others as we move
through our process to bring new life into the world. If we continue with the
story metaphorically, we note that Elizabeth is also pregnant. Even as we age,
there is always the call to bring new life into the world. Becoming our true self,
giving birth to what causes a stirring of joy within is, I believe, how we bring to
life the divine in our world. In my own case, I feel like this birthing of myself
and hence my work into the world has occurred many times.
Before she died, Ruth had what I would call a birthing experience, a signicant healing moment. Did I mention that even at age 75 and somewhat limited
physically, she was ercely independent? Even in hospital when it caused her
pain and difculty she insisted on doing her own personal care, remaining as
independent as possible. One day, the instructor for a group of nursing students
came by and asked Ruth if she would let a young student perform a bed bath
on her. It was the students rst time and she needed to practice. Ruths strong
commitment to education put her in a dilemma, but she agreed. I visited her
on the afternoon she had given herself over to this young woman for a complete bed bath. Her face was radiantI wondered what had happened. Through
tears she told me that in the gentle touch of this young woman she had experienced love that she could only articulate as divine. It was a holy moment, a
holy healing of a deep split between her body and soul.
Famous dancer Martha Graham wrote:
There is vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you
into action. And because there is only one of you in all time this expression is unique.
And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium. The world will not
have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how
it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours (and) clearly
and directly, to keep the channel open.

Your physical body is the channel through which this energy comes into the

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world. In her words, it is a sacred garment. It is your rst and last garment.
It is what you enter life in, and what you depart with, and it should be treated
with honour.
My physical garment was passed on to me by my father and mother. Part of my
healing has been to make peace with them. It was not easy as my father and
his rigorous rigid religious stance became the ash point of my anger directed
towards the patriarchy inherent in my family, church and society. Even as I
worked through this anger there remained a distance between us. Shortly after
his eightieth birthday, he had his rst small stoke which lead to a slow decline
with the dementia that resulted in his death eight years later. Over this time, I
had taken to giving him foot massages as one of the ways of caring for him. I
discovered that massaging his feet calmed him; it also showed me that it is from
him, (and not from my mother as I had always assumed), that I obtained the
foot gene: I have my fathers feet! That was only one of the things I learned
as I spent time with him during his long decline from being a healthy, strong
leader to a vulnerable, child-like, completely dependant invalid.
Since his death, I have been reecting on the paths my life has taken, and how
my fathers footprints are embedded in that journey. The positive aspects of this
have only seeped into my awareness as my heart has healed. While I believe
the deep seed of divine seeking was planted in me by the spirit, the seedling
was truly nourished by my fathers commitment to faith. Even though I have
moved away from my traditional religious roots, they have served me well in
the best sense. Like Virginia Mollenkott who says it well: I refused to walk
away from the Bible, refused to trash it, learned to read it through the lens of
liberation, and found myself transformed by those ancient texts.20
For me, the roots of shame and self-loathing, perpetuated by culture and the
worst of religious indoctrination, have dried up. As described here, I have increasingly accepted scriptural stories as metaphors for my own life, and have
felt their life-giving nourishment as solace and healing to body and soul. Our
bodies truly are temples of Gods Spirit. Our task is to move this knowing from
head to heart!
If you can listen to the wisdom of your body, Love this esh and bone, Dedicate
yourself to its mystery, You may one day nd yourself Smiling from your mirror.21

20

21

Mollenkott, Virginia Ramey, in Transforming the Faiths of our Fathers, ed. Ann Braude, Palgrave Press, Page 59.
Woodman, page44

Part IV:
Cultural and religious diversity:
a chance for Spiritual Care

The emergence of cultural difference and pastoral care:

conicts and opportunities of encounter and healing
Ronaldo Sathler-Rosa

You cannot help people fully unless you also do something about the situation
which makes them what they are (Michael Wilson, in Emmanuel Lartey, 1997).

Abstract
The main goal of this presentation is to discuss the role of pastoral caregivers
facing contemporary cultural wars. In spite of the so-called globalization of societies and the growing inuence of the means of mass communication, traditional
cultures, regional and local cultures strive for keeping alive their connections to
the earth, to preserve their own ways of living, of seeing themselves as well as of
seeing the world. People culturally educated from perspectives that differ from
western predominant cultures, express in different contexts, their right to live
together with dominant cultures while preserving historical and cultural bonds.
Thus, no negation of roots, besides cultural assimilation to some extent, is both
a factor of tensions, of social conicts and opportunities of fair conviviality, in
addition to mutual healing. The unfair resolution of social conicts has the potential to damage peoples self image which is conducive to unhealthy relationships.
This paper attempts to address these issues from a pastoral-theological approach.
Accordingly, this paper is divided in four parts. First, the paper introduces the
situation of Bolivian migrants in So Paulo City, Brazil, South America and the
work of the Pastoral do Migrante (Pastoral Care of Migrant). In addition, this section describes how the Bolivians cope with cultural differences and at the same
time what are their tentative ways to escape from cultural homogeneity. Second,
a short section revisits classical conceptions of culture. Also, it offers a revised
understanding of culture. The third part is a critical approach of some of the main
tenets of the pastoral care movement. Fourth, this section submits approaches
that can be helpful to extend the pastoral care commitment to cultural and political
aspects.

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The Bolivians in So Paulo City and Pastoral Care

The migrants consider their country the land that gives them bread (J. B. Scalabrini).
The major source of this section is the research done by the Brazilian cultural
anthropologist Sydney Antonio da Silva (2003). I am indebted to Silva for the
following description.
There were approximately one hundred thousand Bolivians in So Paulo in
1997. The great majority of them are undocumented people working as clothing
maker. The condition of illegal aliens besides cultural prejudices among themselves added to stigmatization from sectors of the Brazilian population, have been
crucial factors of damaging the Bolivians self-image and cultural conicts.
From 1999 on some changes occurred among these immigrants; specically
the awareness of the problems they face as illegal aliens and of the prejudices in
their own homeland that have been transferred to the foreign country. Some of
the Bolivian associations start working out the importance of overcoming regionalisms besides social, cultural, and ethnic differences towards more integration
among themselves as well as in the new culture.
Another concern of the associations is the change in the generalized negative
image that many Brazilians have of the Bolivians, broadly publicized by some sectors of the Brazilian press. In order to overcome this negative image the Bolivian
government launched the Plan Dignidad (Dignity Plan, 19982002), backed by
the North American government, aiming to win the narcotic trafc. In addition,
the government implemented some measures, such as moving out the consulate to
a noble area of the city and tourism information on TV. Moreover, the cultural
groups of the various scattered communities decided to join hands to associations
and communities to cooperate for the reconstruction of their public image as well
as their own self image.
Another important element was the monthly bulletin, Pachamama, revista de
la comunidad boliviana (Mother earth, magazine of the Bolivian community)
with useful information about cultural, religious events and job opportunities.
It was written in the rst issue: None strange idea, religion or symbol can replace the Pachamama myth. Its validity even today is and it will be our identity,
the Pachamama will be our foundation of our feelings, thinking, reasoning, and
speaking.1
One of the consequences of the new strategies was the establishments of
pedaos bolivianos (Bolivian spots), from 2002 on, in certain squares where they
1

Ninguna idea extraa, religion o gura pudo sustituir al mito Pachamama. Su vigncia es an
hoy y lo ser nuestra identidad, la Pachamama ser el fundamento de nuestro sentir, pensar,
razonar y opinar. Translation by the author of this article.

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share job opportunities and sell national products. Also, the square is an open
market to sell typical foods. Even though the cultural presence of the Bolivian
population increased as a result of the administrative processes together with the
social mobility of some of the migrants, some obstacles towards greater integration remained.
For example: the lack of documentation and slave work forced by the owners of the clothing workshops. The lack of documentation in order to obtain legal
permit to work is due to the high costs of the paper work to be paid to the Brazilian government and the internal logic of the clothing work market, which is
highly deregulated. Despite some improvement, the working relations have been
characterized by exploitation to the extreme of slave work. The migrants needed
an umbrella organization where they could meet other migrants and search for
support to face daily humiliation and means of survival.
One of the most important coping mechanisms to deal with cultural conicts
is the feast.2 Different occasions and various types of feasts are performed either
in private homes or in public spaces. The central motive of the celebrations is
the devotion to the Virgin Mary.3 This devotion goes together to the devotion to
Pachamama. This fusion of deities is an evidence of religious syncretism among
those migrants. Most importantly, the feasts and the Virgin devotion strengthen the
migrant identity, help in the healing process of their wounds, put them in connection with their cultural roots, and renew their energies to face daily routine. Also
the feasts mean the daily negotiation of the legitimization of their presence in the
ecclesial space: The Pastoral do Migrante (Pastoral Care of Migrant; Montes,
2003, p. 13, in Silva, 2003).
The Pastoral do Migrante (Pastoral Care of Migrants) became the psychological, social and spiritual shelter for the migrant. The Pastoral was established in
Brazil in 1985, as a sector of the Pastoral Social of the National Conference of
Bishops of the Roman Catholic Church. The original goals of Pastoral do Migrante were to support the migrant organization searching for a just society, open
to cultural differences. Also, the Pastoral is a space to promote solidarity among
the Bolivians and help them to nd their own ways of dealing with cultural prejudices.
The current work of the Pastoral do Migrante, in addition to be a physical
space for the feasts, includes supporting citizen efforts towards social, political
2

According to M. Mauss (1974, in Silva, 2003, p. 159) the feast makes explicit the elements of
social organization, the tensions between belief systems, economic and political concerns, and
emotions. C. Geertz (1978, in Silva, p. 159) states that the feast allow us to read what a particular
society says about itself.
The popular Catholicism sees the Virgin Mary as the mother who suffered the violent death of
her sole son; she experienced exile, poverty, and rejection of her relatives (Silva, 2003, p. 221).

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changes such as the demand for agrarian reform. Also, the Pastoral supports community projects aiming at a better life conditions of the migrant, such as to advocate for the work legal rights of the migrants working in the sugar cane crops, and
to claim for migration legislation compatible to processes of regional integration,
among others. Pastoral care of individuals and groups is a vital component of the
work of Pastoral do Migrante, also. This work is done in dialogue with NGOs and
churches of different denominations. The next section offers some remarks about
the conceptions of culture.
(Clarifying questions and highlights of key issues: group discussion).

Cultures as symbols of roots, social location and personal

identication
Alfredo Bosi (1992, p. 1119), a Brazilian literature professor, analyses the historical forms that intertwines colonization, cult, and culture. Bosi states that the
words colonization, cult, and culture have the same origin, that is, the Latin verb
colo. This verb means I live, I own the land, I work, and I cultivate the crops.
Also, the Latin word incola, the inhabitant, is a correlated word. Another correlated word is inquilinus (tenant), he who lives in a land owned by another person.
Colo is matrix of colony: occupied land or people who might become subjects to
a foreign power.
Jacob Burckhardt wrote in the middles of the nineteenth century: Culture
exerts constantly a modifying and disintegrating action on the two more stable
social institutions (State and Church) except when they already have subjugated
and circumscribed them according to their own purposes. However, when this
does not happen, culture constitutes the critique of both, like the alarm-clock that
bits the time when form and substance does coincide (in Bosi, 1992, p. 17).
Paul Tillich (1963, p. 56ff) classies cultures according to three types: autonomy, heteronomy, and theonomy:
Autonomy asserts that man [sic!] is the bearer of universal reason is the
source and measure of culture and religionhe is his own law. Heteronomy asserts
that man, being unable to act according to universal reason, must be subjected to a
law, strange and superior to him. Theonomy asserts that the superior law is, at the
same time, the innermost law of man himself, rooted in the divine ground which
is mans own ground: the law of life transcends man, although it is, at the same
time, his own.
The so-called symbolic anthropologists (G. Geertz, R. Shweder, and Robert
Levine) revised the standard denition of culture as conned to the customs,
norms and beliefs of very specic groups to patterns of meaning. Non-traditional
ways of living that have been assigned meaning by a recognizable group of peo-

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129

ple, such as pop culture or gang culture might be identied as culture (Beek,
1993, p. 169).
Sheila Greeve Davaney (2001, p. 4), a North American theologian states that
culture has come to refer to a multi-textured network of relations or total way
of life encompassing the myriad relations, institutions, and practices that dene a
historical period or specic geographical location or formative community or subgroups within larger elds. In contrast to traditional understandings culture now
is viewed as the dynamic and contentious process by which meaning and with it
power, is produced, circulated and negotiated by all who reside within a particular
cultural milieu.
The following section attempts to review critically the pastoral care movement and its interactions with the dominant cultural trends of the corresponding
historical periods.

Pastoral care: historical perspective and the challenge to expand its

commitment to broader dimensions of well being
Despite its rich and inclusive dynamic tradition, pastoral care and counseling,
particularly in protestant churches, has been overwhelmingly focused on the individual. This approach entails reductionism. Exclusively individual-based pastoral
care misses the broader perspective which includes cultures, economic, and political aspects that shape individual ways of being on this side of heaven. Vital
networks, social systems (Miller-McLemor/Gil-Austern, 1999), cultures as well
as the oikoumene (oikos, house; the whole inhabited earth) that mold human life
are left out. The individual diagnosed as healed has to live in a culturally sick
atmosphere, which has not been addressed by pastoral care. This condition brings
to the individual his-her former situation, that is, sickness. The person is not fully
healed if her or his four dimensional of well being are not met. Human beings are
themselves plus their cultural milieu (Ortega y Gasset).4
Some pastoral care givers5 have advocated for the inclusion of the many ways
of doing pastoral care to other realms of cultures such as economic, political, and
life sustenance. These aspects are factors of health, happiness, well being or the reverse. This broader perspective is largely justied from the best Jewish-Christian
traditions. For example, the historian Justo Gonzalez (2003, p, 74) reminds us the
legacy of the Anglican British theologian John Wesley (17031791): Wesleyan
4

This section is a revised version of my article From the living document to the living web:
pastoral care and counseling before new challenges, published in Intercultural Pastoral Care
and Counseling, 16, SIPCC, p. 116121, 2011.
See Augsburger (1986); Pattison (2000); Selby (1988); Wilson (1985); Forrester (1988); Santa
Ana (1987); Alves (1977), among others.

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doctrine of sanctication ( . . . ) move us from any pseudo-private and individualistic holiness to a vocation to be faithful at the broader realms of social, political,
and economic life.
The way of doing pastoral care takes out pastoral care communities and care
givers from their traditional ecclesial context, from their comfort zone, to the
non-private dimension of life. Of course this approach demands a theology
and pastoral action aimed specically at this domain of life. The book The public Church6 , written by Martin Marty (1981), has been considered a hallmark in
more recent discussions of the public mission of the Church. Engagement in pastoral care of worlds (Larry Graham) requires that pastoral caregivers assume their
task as one to be accomplished in the larger society, instead of reducing this task
to the ecclesiastical eld. Jrgen Moltmann and J. B. Metz (1995) pointed out
the widespread tendency towards privatization of faith and its consequence: the
Church moves away from society by adopting an individualistic pietism instead
of engaging in issues which seek policies to be implemented by political decisions.
The traditional pastoral theologies and respective contemporary practices need
new theoretical horizons. The well-used psychological and theological approaches
to pastoral care and counseling have been challenged by the rising of new historical subjects: culturally different from homogeneous western standards, migrants, impoverished individuals, those who suffer discrimination for their sexual
orientation, and many others. Metz (p. 50) highlights three crises and challenges
in which this theological model [named post-idealist, by Metz] seeks to adopt a
position: rst, theology lacks its (apparently) social innocence. Instead of engagement with its own foundations, theology has to interact with societies in a
non-hierarchical manner; second, there is no room anymore, if theology is to be
all-inclusive, to disregard the emergence of the new players in history, such as
native peoples as well as others called wanders or vagabonds by the Polish
sociologist Zygmunt Baumann (1998); third, we live in a culturally polycentric
world; in addition to the theology of option for the poor, theology has to take
into account the option for others in their otherness.
From the perspective of my own social location I have identied three major problems in mainline theories and practices of pastoral care and counseling
psychological reductionism, lack of theological anthropology, and political alienation.7
6
7

Cf. Teologia Publica (Public Theology) at the Brazilian University of Vale dos Sinos.
Revised version of my article Una aproximacion critica de concepciones y practicas actuales
de consejeria pastoral (A critical approach to current conceptions and practices of pastoral
psychology, Sathler-Rosa, 2006). Cf. Lartey, 1997.

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Psychological reductionism
In more recent times, the bonds between pastoral practices and theories with psychology go back to the end of nineteenth century and beginning of the twentieth
century. This connection was strongly inuenced by contemporary psychological
studies regarding the nature of religious experience. This approximation was a
decisive factor for broadening the eld of studies on pastoral counseling and care.
Pastors and teachers felt motivated to rely on psychology in order to have a better
understanding of the human soul. 8
In the following period of time the so-called modern movement of pastoral
care and counseling was heavily based on the psychological sciences. The preponderance of psychology to the detriment of other elds of knowledge does not
allow for the accurate understanding of human problems resulting from cultural
factors. For example, there are situations of suffering and deprivation which are
consequences of social structures that favor social inequalities, conducive to violence and to the desperate search for a fair home, such as the majority of migrants.
Of course, psychology can provide a better understanding of human personhood
and behavior.9 The inclusion of other social sciences such as cultural anthropology, political sciences, sociology, economics, besides others, enlarge the understanding of pastoral caregivers about the situation of those persons who look for
pastoral care. Those sciences have the theoretical tools to cover aspects of human life which are not reached by psychology. Most importantly, those elds of
knowledge can work together in interdisciplinary mode aiming at a better comprehension of the human conditions. Human beings are not only psychological or
biological entities; human beings are social organisms (Calvin and Lindzey). Furthermore, social and human sciences are auxiliary tools to help pastoral caregivers
to avoid a kind of transcendentalist spirituality alienated from concrete, historical
life conditions.
Another aspect of psychological reductionism is that in large segments of pastoral counseling there is a tendency to focus on the past of individuals instead of
his or her current and existential situation (cf. Pattison, 1986). This past oriented
approach has been emphasized in spite of the fact that the modern movement of
8

Major inuential works were Psychology of religion, by E. Starbuck, 1899; Spiritual life, written
by G. Coe, 1900; The varieties of religious experience, W. James, 1902; Pastoral psychiatry,
by J. Bonnell, in 1938; The art of counseling, Rollo May, 1939, has been considered the rst
systematic study of counseling. Soon the well known books by the pioneers of the modern
movement of pastoral care and counseling are published: Anton Boisen, 1936; R. Dicks, 1944;
S. Hiltner, 1949; C. Wise, 1951, among others.
In 1893, Henry Drummond stated that the study of the soul in health and disease ought to be
as much an object of scientic study and training as the health and diseases of the body (apud
Oates 1959, p. 15).

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pastoral care and counseling was heavily inuenced by Carl Rogers and his phenomenological perspective, that is focused on the present of the individual life and
his or her capabilities to grow, without neglecting the past (cf. Clinebell, 1981, p.
117).

Lack of theological anthropology

The practice of pastoral care is rooted in the community of believers. Pastoral
care is sustained and fed by the community of faith together with its continuing
theological reection. Theology provides a vivid and theoretical matrix which
informs the practice of pastoral care and counseling. The relevance of theology
both for the caregiver as well as for the care seeker comes from its own peculiarity.
Clodovis Boff (1998, p. 360) states that the relevance of theology goes beyond
its literal meaning (study of God). Theology has an impact on human existence.
From a Jewish-Christian perspective there is no ulterior objective for human
life other than authentic happiness, identied with Love and Justice in God. Theology is an essential human instrument that helps human beings in the constant
search for nding the radical meaning of existence. In addition, taking the perspective of practical theology, that is, to examine human existence from a theological
standpoint, theology is not only a study of God. Rather, theology studies human
processes towards the search for meaning.
A pastoral-theological anthropology can provide a sound reference for the
work of pastoral care and counseling. What is the anthropos? How is his/her life
conditions shaped? How does he/she see the troubles and challenges of existence?
Without neglecting contributions from psychological theories of human personality, theology can enlighten pastoral practices by offering a theoretical frame for
a better understanding of humans and their life limitations, from the tradition of
Creation. Furthermore, the dialogue between theology and psychology ensures
mutual broadening of both elds of study. Theological anthropology puts the complaints, the case of the individual under a centralizing and structuring perspective:
the ultimate meaning of life is found in living by faith. The human decision to live
by faith gives a realistic comprehension of human conditions, their limitations and
sufferings, and a realistic hope for life.10

Political alienation
The practice of pastoral care with individuals and families comes across with a
barrier: the dominant model of pastoral care and counseling has been settled in
order to solve individual problems at the sphere of primary relationships. That
10

See Danil J. Louw, A pastoral hermeneutics of care and encounter. A theological design for a
basic theory, anthropology method and therapy, Cape Town, Lux Verbi, 1998, p. 140168.

T HE EMERGENCE OF CULTURAL DIFFERENCE AND PASTORAL CARE

133

model meets a signicant aspect to be dealt with by pastoral caregivers. However,

this model has an omission: How to care with individuals whose crises and sufferings are rooted in external conditions such as those established by unfair political
powers, ineffective laws or lacking of them; or even resulting from the exuberant
irrationality of the worldwide nancial circle? Individuals and families become
passive victims without the means to change the order of things.
I want to argue that we need to integrate into our current practices of pastoral care another dimension of life: care for the world of politics and other social
systems which interfere with human well being.
Contemporary socio-cultural movements stressing the right and the duty to
exercise citizenship denote that the unavoidable political condition of women and
men has been widely acknowledged. The political nature of human beings places
us in connection with a web of relationships, responsibilities and mutual rights.
In Brazil, the current voices advocating for an awareness and effective citizenship agency by people is a consequence of two factors: the widespread disbelief
in professional politicians and the awareness that only the full participation of social subjects (individuals and society at large) will open up the path to remove
historical obstacles against a better future.11
I want to introduce a few words about the connections between faith and politics. Faith is also an expression of the perennial human search for comprehending
the conditions of existence. Also faith is a human attempt to nd meaning and
purposes in life. Faith does not express itself only through symbols and traditional
religious practices. Faith is an invitation to examine values and ideals that nurture
human life (Tillich, 1980). Therefore, faith as a human attitude facing life brings
about a fresh perspective about existence and its cultural, social and political dimensions.
The Brazilian Dominican Carlos Josaphat (2006, p. 219222) argues that good
politics is a privileged eld for exerting Christian faith as well as other kinds of
religious commitment. Josaphat outlines six elements that legitimate Christian
action in politics.
First, there exists a correlation between authentic vision of politics and the
authentic comprehension of Christian faith. However, Josaphat warns that the ecclesiastical utilization of politics and manipulation of religion are distorted forms,
even of the corruption of two excellent realities, actualizing the unhappy proverb
corruption optimi pessima. Nothing is worse than corruption of the best. Politics is in itself the best that exists, the highest form to accomplish common well11

Adapted and expanded from Ronaldo Sathler-Rosa. O sagrado da poltica. A dimenso esquecida da pratica crista (The sacred of politics. The forgotten dimension of Christian practice),
So Paulo, Fonte Editorial, 2010.

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ness. Faith is the foundation and source of divine justice in us, anticipatory presence of everlasting life that elevate our personal and social existence as well.
Second, faith is the source of love and discernment, care for the common good,
and the continuing search for ways of actualization. To the extent that politics
express the efcient and constant search for the common good in society, human
existence is a continuing challenge for committed women and men.
Third, the Gospel is the matrix where we can nd appropriate models towards
fullling the common good in different congurations and phases of the historical
development of societies.
Fourth, one of the objectives of politics is to analyze and implement factors
that sustain the well being of all people. These duties demand from politicians. as
well as from citizens, the fundamental virtues of justice, prudence, and solidarity.
Therefore, politics, especially community-based, is a privileged space based on
love that moves people towards the dynamism of this love. This love is the source
of all virtues that orient and develop human beings in all dimensions: individual,
family, and political.
Fifth, the complexity of social life, the diversity of relational and personal
aspirations, call for lucidity and courage to search for the common good, that is,
love in its highest form.
Sixth, Josaphat highlights the main contemporary hindrances to be challenged
by faith: corruption, ethical and religious ideology, alienating and demobilizing
systems, globalization as considered to be the law of history. These obstacles
corrode both the authenticity of faith as well as the human quality of politics.
In addition, vulgarization, sentimentalist devotion, egotistic concerns, and market
orientation corrode religion through electronic means of communication.12
The nal section discusses some challenges and opportunities for pastoral care
in an age of uncertainties.

Pastoral Care catching the spirit of times

The dynamism of cultures poses some new questions for the practice and theory
of pastoral care and counseling. I want submit a short list of elements to be considered by pastoral caregivers, from my own limited social location.13 This agenda
is an attempt to catch the spirit of contemporary contexts and cultures. In addition,
12

13

The so-called indignant movement that has emerging in some of the Eastern and European
countries has been identied as a new way of doing politics: disconnected from traditional political parties, use of social webs, massive participation of youth in the square demonstrations,
claim for opportunities for stable jobs, education. See Os indignados e o banqueiro (The indignant and the banker), in Notcias Dirias (Daily News), June 3, 2011, in www.ihu.unisinos.br
A partial version of the essay Brasilianisch reexionem zu einer christlichen identitt (SathlerRosa, 2009).

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these considerations attempt to be a modest contribution to heal the individual besides his/her cultural context. Also, the following considerations try to take into
account the situation of new historical subjects who become visible in the face
of rootless people around the world. My hope is that they can be helpful as we
look to be faithful to both the foundations of pastoral action and to the instances
of thought and worldview of our contemporary fellows.
It is difcult to do contextualized pastoral care because cultures change under
the massive inuence of the new technology of information and the broadening
of communication between different cultures. Not only is it difcult to delineate
between cultures these days, but it is increasingly difcult to pin any culture down
at a particular point of time . . . culture is in process . . . Pastoral care givers
realized that it requires a giant effort to be in tune with the trends and new insights
of a particular culture (Beek, p. 169).
Pastoral caretakers and specialists need to nd a new language suitable to new
ways of thinking and new meaning patterns emerging in particular contexts and
changeable cultures. The implication is that it becomes problematic to devise a
rigid model for different contexts (Beek, p 169170).
Cultural processes bring about changes to personhood. The inner world is subjected to outer changes. A Bolivian person who has moved to So Paulo, Brazil,
even in the same continent, experiences different cultures living within oneself.
The person coexists together with various, sometimes news meanings in the new
culture. Besides, cultures are in process at the internal level of the individual. The
individual changes in his/her interaction with his/her own mother culture and in
the relationship with many cultures.
A contextual perspective.14 It means that pastoral care givers pay attention to
the particular context of the care seeker. His or her life circumstances and cultures
are integrated into the pastoral care of individuals or communities. Contextualization brings about two poles of discernment, as stressed by Patton (1993, p. 41):
Recognition of specic contexts for care involves hearing and remembering that
(1) tries to discern what is specic and perhaps unique to a particular person or
situation, and (2) remains open to the discovery of what appears to be common to
14

G. Michael Cordner wrote in one of the issues of the International Pastoral Care Network for
Social Responsibility (IPCNSR) Newsletter: While reading an article in a recent issue of Christian Century I was struck by a phrase Im sure I have heard before but perhaps not with so much
meaning as it presently had for me and I think for others as well: contextualized theological
reection. The author was referring to the general area of pastoral care and counseling as the
place where our intellectualized ideas and thoughts are rened and claried as they confront
peoples lives, especially the pain and the anguish that inhabit their living. Through that renement process, ideas take on meaning and validity. Through that renement process ideas
confront and are in turn confronted by life.

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many persons and situations. The particular stories of individuals and groups are
heard attentively by the caregiver.
According to John Patton (1993, p. 39) context may be dened as the whole
background or environment relevant to a particular circumstance or event. Contextuality means that the social situation in all its uniqueness informs the thought
and action of the reection of the Christian community.15
Individuals, families and many groups seem be living in a society without
parents. The expression connotes without roots. There are many signs of destruction of human bonds. The widespread distrust of politicians; the rise of corruption; the despair of migrants; the inability of parents to cope with disturbing
behavior of adolescents; wars and the impact of TV images of violence; lack of
self-condence to cope with common fragilities of human existence. These human conditions and many more, indicate that the traditional work of pastoral care
of individuals and their social milieu is needed.
Existential issues, like equal rights and liberty to express ones own cultures
and personal options are to be considered more important than doctrines. This
does not mean that people do not need principles to guide ones decisions and
life orientation. However, daily life and down-to-earth issues become prominent.
Besides, the inherited doctrines have been expanded from a variety of sources and
from personal life situations. The diversity of religious experiences and beliefs
have to be counted and accepted by the pastoral caregiver.
The growing participation of traditional church-members in small communities signals that the longing for settling down bonds that create ties of solidarity
and personalization. The private feasts and small group celebrations at homes of
the Bolivians in So Paulo have showed that they increase bonds of solidarity and
mutual care. As a matter of fact, small communities or groups have been part of
the history of Christianity. These communities provide for an intimacy and atmosphere of trust which cannot be weaved in large churches.
The recent trend toward dialogue and integration between sciences and religious faith will continue growing and expanding the areas of cooperation.
The contributions of psychological, sociological, anthropological sciences to the
whole eld of pastoral care and counseling are well known. In addition, sciences

15

Patton (1993, p. 40) mentions Douglas John Hall and Peter Hodgson list of major broad contexts
that should be taken into account as theology attempts to be contextual: the end of Christianity
as a political establishment; the recognition of religious pluralism; Auschwitz as a symbol of the
nature of evil; the emergence of abandoned or discriminated people; the ecological issues; the
threat of nuclear accident; the new religious movements, especially its naivet and apocalyptic
versions; the inuence of the afro-descendent churches; the Basic Ecclesial Communities in
South and Central Americas; the feminist movements.

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help the believers to set up a well- reasoned understanding of the differences between what we believe and what we know (see Rahner, 1971).
Pastoral care of the public dominium of the life web, that is, at political, environmental, economic, nancial, as well as other, levels is a continuum of pastoral
care of individuals. Individuals are not healed if society is sick. To care for the
public is to advocate for the fullness of life. Even though pastors as individuals have the capacity to engage in this type of pastoral care, local communities,
ecclesial bodies, ecumenical bodies and institutions could be better channels to
voice pastoral care concerns. Pastoral care committed to strive for fullness of life
develops methods and actions that lead to approval of legislations and public policies which work for the benet of abundant life. This type of pastoral care is not
aligned with the State, but uses its spiritual orientation to confront the unfair use
of power.
To conclude, it is my hope that pastoral caregivers are not only on the way
to build up new practical and theoretical models. Rather, my hope is that we are
following the steps of those people who are wandering through the deserts on their
continuing search for another world, where life becomes abundant for all.

References
ALVES, Rubem. Pastoral wholeness and political creativity: The theology of liberation
and pastoral care. Pastoral Psychology, 26 (2), 124136. 1977
AUGSBURGER, David W. Pastoral counseling across cultures. Philadelphia: Westminster, 1986
BAUMAN, Zygmunt. O mal-estar da ps-modernidade. Rio de Janeiro: Zahar, 1998
BEEK, Aart M. van. Contours of a cross cultural model for pastoral care and counseling.
IN: KRISETYA, M. Ed. Pastoral care and counseling in a pluralistic society. Bali,
Indonesia: ACPCC, 1993
BOFF, Clodovis. Teoria do mtodo teolgico. Petrpolis: Vozes, 1998
BOSI, Alfredo. Dialtica da colonizao. So Paulo: Companhia das Letras, 1992
CLINEBELL, Howard. Contemporary growth therapies. Nashville: Abingdon, 1981
COORDNER. G. Michael. A contextual perspective. Unpublished paper
DAVANEY, Sheila Greeve. Theology and the turn to cultural analysis. IN: BROWN, Delwin; DAVANEY, Sheila Greeve; TANNER, Kathryn. (Eds.). Converging on culture:
theologians in dialogue with cultural analysis and criticism. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2001
FORRESTER, Duncan. Theology and politics. Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1988
GONZALEZ, Justo. L. Wesley para a Amrica Latina hoje. So Bernardo do Campo:
Editeo, 2003
JOSAPHAT, Carlos. Poltica, espao privilegiado para a prtica da f. IN: PINHEIRO,
Jose Ernanne. (Org.). Resgatar a dignidade da politica. So Paulo: Paulinas, 2006
LARTEY, Emmanuel Y. In living colour. An intercultural approach to pastoral care and
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METZ, J. B.;MOLTMANN, J. Faith and the future. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1995
MILLER-McLEMORE, Bonnie J.; GIL-AUSTER. Brita L. (Eds.). Feminist and humanist
pastoral theology. Nashville: Abingdon, 1999
OATES, Wayne E. (Ed.). An introduction to pastoral counseling. Nashville: Broadman
Press, 1959
PATTON, John. Pastoral care in context. An introduction to pastoral care. Louisville:
Westminster/John Knox Press, 1993
PATTISON, Stephen. A critique of pastoral care. London: SCM, 2000
RAHNER, Karl. Teologia e cincia. So Paulo: Paulinas, 1971
SANTA ANA, Julio de. Por las sendas del mundo caminando hacia el Reino. San Jose:
DEI, 1987
SATHLER-ROSA, Ronaldo. Una aproximacin critica de concepciones y practicas actuales de consejeria pastoral. IN: SANTOS, Hugo. (Ed.). Dimensiones del cuidado y
asesoramiento pastoral. Buenos Aires: Kairos, 2006
. Brasilianisch reexionen zu einer christlichen identitt. Interkulturelle Seelsorge und
Beratung, 15, 6467, 2009
, O sagrado da poltica. A dimenso esquecida da prtica crist. So Paulo: Fonte
Editorial, 2010
SELBY, Peter. Liberating God: Private care and public struggle. London: SPCK, 1988
SILVA, Sydney Antonio Da. Virgem/me/terra. Festas e tradies bolivianas na
metrpole. So Paulo: Hicitec/Fapesp, 2003
TILLICH, Paul. Dynamics of faith. New York: Harper and Row, 1957
. The protestant era. Chicago: The University Press, 1963
WILSON, Michael. Personal care and political action. Contact, 87, 1222, 1985

The Wiesbaden Experiment on Muslim care

as a contribution to a healing encounter of Muslims and Christians in
Germany/Europe
Ulrike Elsdrfer

Key words: training in Muslim care, integration, hospital, social case work,
dialogue-programme, encounter of cultures
Within the last decademaybe Sept. 11th 2001 was one of the reasons for
itinitiatives leading to an every-day encounter between Muslims and Christians
in Germany/Europe increased. This was not the rst dialogue Muslims and
Christians had. A very effectful and theologically deeply rooted dialogueprogramme already existed for a lot of years. But this was mainly known at
universities or academies for theological research.
The new programmes of encounter were led by Muslims and Christians
Protestants as well as Catholics. In the following text I refer especially to the
German situation. From the year 2001 on the academic movement slowly went
to publicat least to the public scenery concerning people with religious backgrounds. Muslim congregations were invited by protestant or catholic parishes,
encounters of womens-groups were made possible in order to discuss western
ideas of feminism. These womens groups were essential to face the traditional
and rapidly changing life of Muslim women of the 2nd and 3rd generation in Germany. Christian social workers, teachers and volunteers were offering tuition for
children with a migratory background in order to help them to close the gap of
language. For this is the main reason why the young people had problems in
school. Those complementary instructions were given in the afternoon, mostly
at the Christian congregrations places. Some of the teachers even went to the
Mosques, to have a direct encounter with the Muslim people at their places.
The initiatives mostly resulted from a religious impulse, but as well from
socio-political backgrounds. The idea of installing a unit for Muslim care was developed very late. Muslims found out, that more and more their people grew old
in the new homes, they got ill, and they had to cope with German medicinical

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institutions. Some of themonly very fewdecided to stay in Germany after retirement from work. But they didnt have their family supporting them sufciently in
this country. The members of the family had to work. So some old people became
familiar with German retirement-homes.
Many of the social problems of Islamic families are still solved by the inner
circle of the family. But Muslims realize that there will be a growing demand to
give psychological and even individual religious support for the members of the
Mosque congregations. Of course they are willing to assist other Muslims in their
spiritual and psychological struggles as well, even if they are not so closely related
to the religion.
Some CPE-programmes answered to Muslim demands to train their imams
in methods of care and counselling. CPE-instructors offered such trainings by
themselvesand they had very different experiences. Integrating Muslims with
their original religious traditions and emotional preconditions in this CPE programmes was not so easy. CPE at this time already existed about twenty years in
German churches, having grown in many struggles and big discusssions with established Christian theology and the different churches structures. Muslims were
on a quite different level and with different needs in the present state. So this way
of integrating imams in CPE-programmes sometimes proved to be a too big stress
for both partners.
The initiative followed the impulse of several German communities or District
States: These institutions started programmes to give the imams a better insight
in German society and its intellectual and spiritual impactssoon after they arrived at the airports to do their work in Germany. The programmes aimed at an
improving process of integrationgoing further than just giving work and practical social support to the former guest-workersnow being citizens of Germany.
They aimed at an encounter of cultures and their religious traditions.
As it was a long time practice, the imams mostly were sent for a period of
about four years from their land of originTurkey, Egypt or Bosniaand many of
them were not able to speak German language. So they preached in the Mosques
in their mother-tongues, and they gave advices according to the frame of thinking they had brought along from their homes. But this was not sufcient for a
spiritual and intellectual, even social development of the Muslim congregations
in Germany. Germans assumed that Muslims may establish parallel societies
in Germany having only these instructions and social structureswhich Germans
didnt welcome.
In order to prevent this development, Muslims started with their special programmes to establish care and counselling for their people in hospitals, in prisons
or in retirement homes. And these programmes aimed at a training of volunteers
who were interested in counselling: So that the work of care and counselling will

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not be imposed only on the very few imams, who have a lot of other tasks. German communities were assisting with nancial support for those who initiated the
programmes. They sometimes implemented a board of advisors and counsellors
being willing and able to assist.
In the following text I introduce one of these programmesme being a part of
the assisting groups from different German institutions. The Muslim counsellors
were my and others dialogue-partners. But they developed their trainings in their
own way.

Topic:
In 2007 EUthe European Council in Brusselsprovided funds to establish units
of Muslim care in European hospitals and within other institutions, where Muslim
people (have to) stayin order to give them as a cultural and religious minority a
better chance of integration in European societies.
Wiesbadenthe Capital of the District State Hessenwas the rst German
town to take this money. With an additional contribution to the funds from Brussels the community employed two persons for a project: to establish Muslim care
in the communal hospital and in the local prison.
The lady who is responsible for Muslim care in the hospital has studied Islamic Sciences. The counsellor for the prison has some roots in practice and
thoughts of Islamic mystic traditions. So already from the beginning there are
different accesses to counselling in Islam. Mainstream western traditions of
counselling are adopted and used by both counsellorsaccording to the usefullness
of the different theoretical foundations. Some aspects of western psychology are
not regarded as helpful by Muslim counsellors; for they are seen as antagonists to
islamic cultural surroundings and religious traditions.
The project started in 2008, and the community gave 25% of the funds being
necessary altogether, 75% came from Brussels. Within the course of time the part
prison care more and more was neglectedbecause of reasons of money and lack
of volunteers, who are able to do such a work. It has proven to be quite difcult to
give volunteers an access to the prison, and there is one Muslim counsellor already
doing his full-time job. So there seems to be no real need and even no chance to
send volunteer counsellors to this place. Besides that the prison is linked to the
state and not to the communal administration, so funds come from other sources
than in the hospital.

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History and aims:

This project is only one part of the longer lasting local communitys efforts to
give health care and psychological comfort to a broader section of Muslim citizens. There is an assumption to provide a better chance to let them nd their own
position and identity within the German society. Before the start of this project
there already were established structures to give a better health care to women,
children and elderly people among the Muslim citizens of Wiesbaden. They were
invited to visit health care centers, to get support in dealing with diseases like
diabetes or heart attack (which traditionally are not so widespread in Islamic societies). There were established a womens house and a caf, where Muslim women
can meet. Local doctors voluntarily offered their advices, and there exists a special committee for social and health care projects, which was inaugurated by
the communitys administration, and it is a part of the local governmental structures. Muslim care (MUSE) is only one of the projects being founded by the
Wiesbaden communitys administration.
All sorts of sports activities were offered to the Muslim people as well by
the communal administration as by local sports groups. There is a programme:
mummy learns Germanmany of the elderly women who came to Germany
never learnt to read and speak the German language. They just worked in their
household with their children, met with friends from their countries of origin, and
they only had contacts with other families within their particular social groups.
Those women were not integrated in any working process; so once there was no
need for them to learn German, as their husbands had to. In the consequence
they now are not really able to express themselves adequately when they are in
hospitals or in another social context. Now they are elderly women, and they need
help sometimes. There even was the idea to offer elderly Muslim people places
in local retirement homes, but the Muslim communities in Wiesbaden until now
were not really interested in it.
In 2009 there was the rst Conference on Integration held by the community, in order to present the results of the efforts already done, in order to create
a network of specialists working in affairs of integration in Wiesbaden. Most of
the projects will go on, there is a rst successing period from 20102014, and
MUSE is among these projects.The Muslim community itself regards a committee of Islamic congregations, which was founded in 2007, as fathers and mothers of MUSE. Together with the Wiesbaden Administration the Muslim congregations promote the project, but their hope is that later on they will be able to have
nancial resources of their own to guarantee the work their counsellors do. People
from many different countries and from different Muslim cultural traditions come
together within that committeeeven Schiite and Sunnite groups; they belong to

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13 different Muslim congregations in Wiesbaden. To the advisory board of MUSE

there belong persons from Christian churches as well.
The Muslims in Wiesbaden regard themselves as a religious and cultural minority. They are Germans and they live in Germany. Though in origin of Islamic
culture and tradition and with many different mother-tongues, they are a part of
the German society. They dont want to be xed by others on multiple identities.
Germany still has problems being a country for people with multiple identities.
Sometimes there arises hostility against foreigners which has to be confronted. So
one of the aims of all the projects to improve integration is to minimize the rejection of foreigners. Encounter between the different ethnic groups may prevent
such developments, in order to come to learn about each other. According to this
aim I joined the committee, being interested in dialogue and encounter between
Christians and Muslims.
In the activities to promote medical, psychological and social comfort of Muslim citizens there is even included a good possibility to reect theological positions at all and towards care (and counselling) especially, as they are given within
the Christian and Muslim traditions. Though I think this project will be one of
future times, by now it is just possible to nd out some starting ideas. There
has to be generated a healing encounter between Muslims and Christians in
Germanyand in Europe, tooas members of both religions are challenged to give
their humanistic and spiritual traditions to increase dialogue and an interactive
encounter. And I hope there will be some good effect in these efforts, which will
lead to a life in difference, but in respect. Obviously by now this is not the only
way of contact between ethnic groups in Germany/Europe.

Stages of the project:

In 2008 members of Wiesbaden Administration, the advisory board and the rst
Muslim counsellors started with the project. Unto the end of the year 2008 the
two professionals were able to establish the rst structures to organize their work:
They implemented a MUSE (Muslim Care) supervision group. From now on,
with the beginning of the year 2009, they could prepare for the acquisition of persons who are able and willing to do the training for Muslim volunteer counselling.
From spring 2009 on to the end of the year the rst trainings took place. Finally a
rst group of Muslim volunteer counsellors was ofcially installed by the Wiesbaden Department of Integration, and with the beginning of the year 2010 they
could begin with rst visits as counsellors in the hospital.
March 23rd 2010 was the day, when 10 women and 7 men got a certicate
to conrm their status as Muslim counsellors. Within the year 2010 an ofce for
Muslim carers and counsellors was established within the hospital as well.

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There was installed a second group of volunteer counsellors. They are trained
by now, and after these trainings an evaluation of the project is in the planning.
Some persons didnt complete the training, but only very fewa small percentage.
There exist statistics on the activities during the time of 10 month of the counsellors presence in the hospital:
They have been there for 1.122 hours. They had 670 visits. 95% of these visits resulted in a conversation. Only 37 visits were not successfull because of the
presence of a doctor, of family members or nurses. In all the other cases patients
welcomed and accepted the counsellors. 34% of the patients being visited were
between 2140 years of age, 61% were older than 40 years. 471 visits were conducted in one language. 50% of all the conversations took place in other languages
than German. Within most of the conversations there were used two or more languages. In more than 50% of the conversations German was not the predominant
language.

Contents:
As the coordinator of the project explained, Muslim people prefer the Rogerian client-centered-method in order to train their groups. They invited guestcoaches for their special meetings on psychological trainingthese persons were
Muslim psychologists grown up, being educated and having studied in Germany,
and mostly they were trained in the Rogerian-Method. Their families predominantly derived from Turkish, Maghrebian or Iranian origin. The counsellor is convinced that the Client-Centered-Method is the best one for trainings with future
Muslim volunteer counsellors. For her this method especially aims at social processes and at encounters of a group of people. The social aspect is very crucial, it
is nearly the basic presupposition for all aspects of Muslim culture. Besides that
she thinks that the Client-Centered-Method as well grants a lot of space for an
individual interpretation and an individual encounter with each other, with psychology, with cultural traditions and religion. For her this method is democratic,
it is based on a feeling of counselling siblings: Depth Psychology is one of the
methods she thinks to be really unable to t in Muslim world and thinking
its too individualistic, and it is rooted too much in a western style of thinking.
Many Muslims regard it as destructive for Muslim faith and cultural identity.
For a group of future volunteer-counsellors she thinks it to be very important
that they can nd their own psychological and personal rhythm to proceed. She
is impressed by the idea of a learning-group, being self-related, having its own
way and its individual time for a personal progress, and having no strict aims
to fulll. The groups are very heterogenous, regarding the standards of education, regarding nationality and culture of origin, regarding age and gender, at last

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regarding the languages spoken. So everybody has to train active listening in

order to be able to take part in the groups advancement. There is only one presupposition which has to be made by all members: They all should be willing
and able to read Coran, they should know the Scripture, they should be active
Muslims, having a positive attitude to their different, but individually original
religious traditions. Within the encounter of the group-members the special religious traditions will be presented, they will be discussed, they may change, but
they have to be communicable at all. According to the coordinator it is a crucial
part of Muslim theological tradition that there is a chance of encounter and communication. Islam isnt a religion of impersonal creed and dogmaso she thinks.
There is no right and wrong within the faith. An internalization of the faiths
spirit merely leads to a mentionable success in spirituality and probably in life.
The method of the trainings is dominated by individual structural and personal
possibilities. As this training is in the state of a project, there have to come specialists to inform on different subjects: Somebody for the training of intercultural
compentencies, somebody who teaches knowledge in medicinical and psychiatric
affairs, somebody who can give knowledge in theology and history of religion, in
the tradition and the rituals that have to be practized when visiting and counselling
persons in the hospital. One of these rituals is washing the dead persons, which
in Islam traditionally was a duty of the family. Later on it was delegated to imams;
by now volunteer counsellors may overtake that duty to wash the deads, if they
want to do itin order to substitute the imams, for they are rare.
To be an intercultural interpreter sometimes means to translate for doctors
and patients, when they try to communicate a diagnosis. Transfer of language
is one of the detailed projects and trained skills within the whole programme.
Coaching and supervision has to be done by specialists of Islamic originto help
the individuals and the group to nd their own and special way.

Methods:
The training for the volunteers is dedicated to help them at rst to develop their
own competencies: in order to understand psychological procedures within themselves and other people. This is a rst step, accompanied and followed by giving informations on methods and psychological theories of communication. Then
there is a focus on understanding the various signs and symbols of non-verbal
communicationespecially symbolic interaction in religious or nonreligious interpretation. This demands trainings not only in psychology, but also in philosophy and in religious thought and tradition.
Another big impact is laid on the knowledge of medicinical aspects. It is most
important to understand at least the outlines of psychiatry and medicine, as it is im-

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plicated in every encounter of a doctor, a nurse, and a patient. The most important
ideas on interculturality have to be discussed, in order to understand principles of
ethics either in the Christian tradition, or in western culture. Volunteer counsellors
should be able to transform standards of ethics to special questions of indigenous
Muslim culture. This transformation may be necessary especially when dealing
with a patients living will and other items connected with matters of death and
mourning.
Of course there is an individual coaching and supervision implemented, and
everybody has to do a period of praxis within the hospital (normally this is estimated to last for about four weeks).The whole system of a hospital has to be
introduced to the later-on counsellors. It is aimed at introducing knowledge on the
work of other professional groups. Together they can deal with all events around
the hospital. So the participants are invited to visit a funeral-entrepreneur, in order
to achieve knowlegde on his practical work.
Even more important is the encounter with counsellors from other traditions
and religions, especially with the Christian counsellors, being the colleagues in
the hospital. The volunteers have several meetings with the staff of the hospitalin
order to know the persons and to know something on their work and the problems
and the possible cooperations. Muslim counsellors should be able to rely on doing
their work within the other professional groups.
A very special aspect of Muslim care is the practical one of offering language
competencies. According to the connections with the rest of the staff in the hospital Muslim counsellors sometimes will be very welcome, especially when nurses
or doctors can trust in the translations they get. Besides thatand this again is quite
different from many of the Christian trainings, there are a lot more practical impacts with the Muslim trainings. The group comes together to visit social projects
in the town concerning the Wiesbaden communitys work with migrants and with
people having an uncertain political status. So they can come to know these persons problems. They visit a womens house, a drug abuse recreational center, a
center to prevent or help in sexual misuse.
It was reported that within the time from April 2009January 2010 the trainings included 140 hours. All the counsellors had to practice individual sessions
of supervision while visiting patients. Ongoing trainings for a development of
competencies are still necessary, the whole programme is in a state of constant
development, so further differenciated proposals will come.

Moduls and special parts of the training:

Now there still rest a lot of subjects to be discussed, and many special problems
to be solved: One of the moduls to be treated in further sessions should be: To

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have trainings on specically Islamic topicstrainings where there should assist

an Islamic theologian:
How does the connection between the ancient religious knowledge of mystic
ritual and thought and modern counselling look likewhat are the traditional ways
of care and counselling in Islamic societies? In popular Islamic traditions there
occur spirits, amulettes, stones, and they have special meaningshow is it possible
to deal with these aspects in counselling?
There is requested a theologian to give instructions on basic texts and basic
assumptions of Sunna and Coran, concerning the praxis of care and counselling.
There should be given a theological fundament, there should be a delightful connection between religious beliefs and therapeutic interpretations. Which forms of
psychology are more or less communicable to traditional or more sophisticated
Islamic theology?
For many practical decisions Muslims at least seem to have a guideline in
Coranic law. So for the counsellors it is important to reect the importance and
the possibilies of juridical presuppositions, as they are given in Islamic law. They
have to reect on how much they themselves are convinced of all the laws of
Sharia, and they have to nd an individual position towards its demands.
It is also important to know something or even more about the ideas on death,
on dying and eschatological thoughts within different Islamic traditions. And there
is a practical tradition of dealing with crises and mourning, fear and hope in different Islamic cultures which is important to know. The traditional Islamic attitudes
towards suicide should be discussed as well.
My dialogue-partners are convinced that Islam is a religion based on democratic structures and social presuppositions. So in their groups everything has to
be presented and discussed, there is no nal law to obey, according to a main
tradition in Islamic theology.

Items to reect on:

Though the immediate training is already on a high level, there still remain
some special subjects of cultural traditions: Within many Muslim communities all
over world there exist traditional knowledges of healing-knowledge of indigenous
medicine, exactly called the prophets medicine. This type of medicine implies
the use of all the benets of naturelike herbs and secret knowledge of applying
them to the person being ill. Even in Europe Muslims face the old traditions when
visiting their people in the hospital. Some of them still trust more in their hoca
or healer and in his methods than in doctors and psychologists or counsellors, and they have their own explanation for illness and the adequate ways
of healing. Sometimes these explanations are interwoven with ancient religious

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U LRIKE E LSDRFER

and cultural knowledgeand sometimes they are interwoven with misbeliefs. The
latter is not suitable for a positive health-progress.
So Muslim counsellors have to cope with the basic presuppositions of old
traditions and knowledges. Otherwise they will lose contact with the patients. Altogether there will be a long way to proceed in order to face the modern western
psychology as a healing method for a reasonable group of Muslim people in
Europe and all over the world. There is a gap between the ideas and aims of
therapy, leading to a positive and one-dimensioned functioning in western
societies, and healing as an ancient expression for the wholeness and interconnectedness of person, culture, and transcendence.
Besides that positive aspect of a knowledge about healing in a context of
nature there exist ideas of witchcraft and spirits (ginis) within some Islamic
cultural heritages. Their approaches to religion should be taken into consideration
by Muslims counsellors as well.
Within the Su-tradition Islam already has its widely practised original
way of counselling. Sus obtain an ancient knowledge, they follow their mystic paths to a healing encounter with God, and for that they have special methods
and ritualistic trainings. Sometimes the advices on these paths seem to be contradictory to insights of psychology, especially those of Depth-Psychology. Su
meditation methods are based on reassuring basic knowledge of faith by ceremonial repetition. Su prayer leads to a communication between man and God
that is not mainly a matter of intellectual insight or willing ability. It is situated
partly beyond the borders of reason, in a deeper consent with the transcendent
experience. So some Muslim counsellors still go their own Su paths in a conseqent manner. Muslim counsellors have to distinguish between different accesses
to care and counsellingand this will be a claim for a re-visiting of images of
man in Islamic theology.
A Muslim access to prayer and meditation may look different from that of
the average European Christian. For many Muslims prayer predominantly is a
matter of bodymuch more than for Christians, who mostly give rare signs of
their bodies when praying. Moslem prayer is ritualized as a ceremony for the
communitymainly for the community of men sharing their prayers on Friday
within the Mosque. Individual prayer is not so much in common as it is used in
Christianity, especially within the protestant versions. Meditation may be quite
new for many members of the Moslem communityfor the religion is based on
practical assumptions, it doesnt need so much search for individual identity
and for emotional support, as Christian traditions do. But with the ongoing secularization of western Muslim people there will be a need to interprete religion
for many of them individually, to lead people to an encounter with their lost traditions by arousing religious emotions. These emotions shouldnt lead to any fun-

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damentalistic aim. On the contrary, faith should be widened by feeling own roots,
and facing different traditions in other religions. Muslims are exposed to these
diverse experiences in their daily lives.
Muslim care is a word being invented in Europewhen Muslims were facing the Christian traditions. So Muslims ask themselves whether they now or later
on can nd a suiting expression for their own practice. They are challenged to
develop the praxis of encounter between individuals who deal with religious feelings. Muslims ask: Is there another word for it? By now there exists no other
word in German Muslims tradition. The Christian term is in use. Muslims in
general are not unhappy about this fact: For they live in Europe, especially in
Germanywhy shouldnt they benet from positive European, Christian and German traditions?
But what they keep in mind as a special identity of Islam is the following:
A future theory of Muslim care may be based on the fundamental presupposition of Islam, that men and women are siblings before Godthis is a deeply
democratic theological assumption. Group praxis of care and counselling is regarded to represent an implication of the theological fundaments of Islam-people
are siblings in religionthey belong to one total community, the Umma. A
theological theory on Islamic care and counselling will be based on Gods way of
counselling Muslims: on his righteous wayas Islamic tradition says.
Regarded from the aspect of care and counselling in Islam this may express: Nowadays Muslim men and women are capable to understand themselves
within their Islamic religious traditions and culture. And at the same time they
are challenged to live in German/European cultural contexts. Their challenges
already have begun with disintegrations in many forms. The family structures
have changed within the last generations, traditional ways of conducting life will
diminishthe texts of Coran and tradition have to be interpreted in a new way.
Besides that womens emancipation is a part of the projectthe Muslim leader
is a woman. And altogether there exists an ongoing process of Muslim womens
emancipation in Germany.

Part V:
Conditions of humanity, social contexts
and rituals: the basics of Pastoral Care
and Counselling and Spiritual Care

Hope as a Precondition for Well-being

A case study of people in personal debt
Raili Gothni

Abstract:
The aim of this paper is to examine the experiences of people in personal debt before and after a diaconal project of pardoning debts. How do people describe their
experiences of hopelessness and hope? How is well-being connected to human
dignity, spirituality and the feeling of belonging to a community? What is the role
of the pastoral carer when encountering people who feel that they are outsiders?
Key words: hope, well-being, pastoral care, indebtedness
The economic depression in the 1990s and again ten years later has meant
nancial ruin for many people and families. Currently, increasing lay-offs and
unemployment are everyday news. The media only gives the numbers, but behind
these numbers are real people, people who suffer and people who do not feel that
they have a place in society or a meaning in their life.
How do people describe their experiences of hopelessness and hope? How is
well-being connected to human dignity, spirituality and the feeling of belonging
to a community? What is the role of the pastoral care when encountering people
who feel that they are outsiders?
This article aims to answer these questions. It is divided into three perspectives. The rst describes hopelessness rooted in poverty and the example of Job as
someone who people are able to identify with. The second illustrates possibilities
of hope and well-being from the viewpoint of encountering a pastoral counsellor.
The third shows how the people interviewed had the meaning of well-being and
human dignity and become Gods partner in a congregation which speaks for a
social justice.

The material
The data gathered for this study consist of both open and structured interviews
with 145 people who had lived with overwhelming debt for at least 10 years and

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whose debts had been pardoned. The questionnaire and interview form consisted
of questions about changes in their nancial situation, social relationships and
physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. The term over-indebted is used to
describe the subjective experience of debt: A person is over-indebted when he or
she cannot pay his or her instalments or interest of the debt, with the result that the
debt amount is continually rising.1 All the interviewees considered themselves to
have been over-indebted and pardoned.
The threshold of participating in the interviews was the unwillingness to recall
upsetting experiences from the past. However, many overcome their fear and were
glad to explain the great change that they had achieved.

The experience of despair

When I noticed that the costs of the payments to the collections ofce were seventy-eight
percent of the whole amount of my debt, I caved in. I remained unemployed. I didnt have
any money, neither life nor hope. I simply didnt care.
I was burnt out, ashamed of myself and my life situation. Being without any future I just
cut myself off from the outside world. I had no energy to apply for professional help. I
became extremely apathetic.
It was sheer hell, not a situation in which you could make any plans. To blow out ones
brains would be best. That was the feeling.
I felt that nobody heard me or cared about me. I was deserted by people and by God.

These quotations from the interviewees clearly show how deeply they felt themselves to be outsiders, stigmatized and without any hope. They felt that they had
no place in society and that they had lost their sense of continuity. The life situation of over-indebtedness meant to them human brokenness in all dimensions of
life. The experience of despair is often linked to the feeling of helplessness and
to the belief that it is impossible to control the situation or even affect the current
circumstances in any way.
The over-indebted interviewees pointed out that they slipped deeper and
deeper into trouble. Their anxiety increased and prevented their well-being. Overindebtedness easily leads to exclusion from work, activities and social relations.
They remained at home, withdrawing themselves emotionally both from themselves and others including their nearest family. Exclusion depends to some degree on the attitude of others, but over-indebted people tend to withdraw from
others company. They feel ashamed and depressed. Worries and anxiety produce
obvious changes in their condition and appearance. Many of the respondents told
me that they were afraid of the everyday question: How are you?
1

Gothni 2006, 3537.

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155

Hopelessness hurts and is described as a strangling fear or a prison. Ones view

of life narrows. Hopelessness was sometimes described as a loss, which included
losing the meaning of life. A reasonable standard of living for modern society
was considered threatened, because more than half of the respondents said that
they did not have enough money for food and that they could not pay the rent for
their at.
One-third of the respondents reported that they had lost their desire and that
life had no meaning. Some of them had even considered suicide. A few hoped
that a suitable accident would end their misery. Many of the over-indebted people
felt that nobody cared whether they existed or not. This increased their feelings
of hopelessness, bitterness and injustice. They had lost their future story; it had
been stolen, abused or distorted by debts and the feeling of being an outsider.2
Despair means also to be speechless. Not to be able to describe ones experiences means denying ones existence and right to receive support. In my data
there are many descriptions of speechlessness. Fear, limited time, sorrow, illness
and failure are, of course, all a common part of the existence of man. But many
of the respondents felt that their questions and despair were not taken seriously.
The interviewees felt that all truths are not appropriate to say aloud and so shake
the balance of the community. Martin Heidegger calls language and our ability to
speak a house, in which we live and can come and go, and without which we are
homeless.3 In reference to this idea we can ask whether the Church can provide a
home for diversity. It is not only a matter of what people in church say and what
they do not say, but especially what is not allowed to be said. Some difculties are
honourable and even heroic, while other indispositions are silenced as shameful
and dishonourable.

Unrealistic hope for a quick solution

I would have liked to be invisible when my daughter no longer wanted to go to school
unless she could have new clothes. I hoped for a miracle. Although I didnt have any
money, I played the online lottery.
I was so angry. Im not the one to blame. The banks were so eager to give the loans. Now
the politicians have saved the banks. I was burnt out and dangling from a precipice.

Apart from despair, some respondents had relied on an unrealistic hope for a miracle. Some dreamt that they were invisible and that no one could nd them: no one
would stare at them; no one would pick on their children. Some of them hoped
to win in lottery or imagined that all of it is merely a nightmare. According to
Louw, people, in the midst of a difcult crisis, tend to wish that everything can be
2
3

Lester 1995, 4358.

Heidegger 1968,5.

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changed at once. In the context of the Christian faith, rapid change is a miracle
in which the bad changes to good.4 In their hope for a miracle, some people took
even more excessive loans and used the money in the lottery, and the situation
became even worse.
At this stage hope also contains the idea that there can be quick recovery.
The last straw which one could grasp and hence be saved was to nd somebody
who could take of the whole burden. Pastoral counsellor or diaconal worker needs
to be accurate and avoid giving any unrealistic promises, thus adding additional
disappointment, which may have a crushing effect as the illusion of the unrealistic
hope is broken.

Shout out despair and trust like Job

A person with sorrow or a serious illness or other hardship normally receives sympathy
and support. People understand and will help. Over-indebted people, on the other hand,
are often left alone, deprived of support and encouragement. At the same time, when their
whole life collapses, those indebted remain alone on their own and have their disgrace
and shame to carry.
In this situation I was like Job. Everything was unfair and I just wanted everything to come
to an end. Sometimes one would like to shout out as Job did: Why should the sufferer be
born to see the light? Why is life given to those who nd it so bitter? They long for death,
but it does not come, they seek it more eagerly than hidden treasure . . . There is no peace
of mind, no quiet for me; trouble comes, and I have no rest. Job 3:2021, 26)

Some of the people interviewed said that they identied with Job, who had suffered and shouted out his despair to God. Many saw hope in the possibility of
crying out for help and even in cursing people and God, as Job is said to have
done in the Old Testament. Some of the interviewees can be interpreted to have
taken on the role of Job, in the way the psychologist of religion Hjalmar Sundn
describes it.5 While Job was crying out in his distress, he had time to deal with
the crisis in his own way, and thus eventually reached peace with the matter.6 God
was all the time near Job. There is a time to hate and a time to love. A good and
normal life was not due to Jobs piety, and the suffering was not a punishment for
his sins. Job could leave the bag and the ashes, and start a new life.
To the interviewees it was important and signicant that the pastoral counsellors understood that peoples badness or goodness is not reected in the amount of
their suffering. The boundaries between good and evil do not lie between people,
but inside every human being. This is also true regarding each pastoral counsellor
4
5
6

Louw 2000, 456.

Sunden 1966.
Illmann 2002, 267283.

H OPE AS A P RECONDITION FOR W ELL - BEING

157

and everyone in the congregation. To the clients it was very important to believe
that Gods perspective is much more complex than human beliefs about fairness
and justice. Perhaps the most crucial and most notable aspects of the counselling
to the indebted people were the dialogue and reciprocal interaction. For them it
was essential to have the right to express their despair and righteous anger against
the injustice they had experienced. At the same time a client can put his or her
hope in God and complain to God. The opportunity to come before God is benecial to both emotional and spiritual well-being.
They had learned from their own experience and the life story of Job that life
also has a shadow side. In the life stories of my material, light and shadows went
hand in hand. Hope was not considered a genuine hope if one could not hear the
sound of human suffering. One cannot buy hope by denying despair as did Jobs
friends. One needs to work on and endure the problems.7
A client can be comforted by reading the Bible, especially Job and the Psalms.
Sometimes a pastoral counsellor may help people to nd the relevant Biblical text
to read as homework. This often becomes key to the healing process. The words
found in the text help to verbalize the feelings experienced.

Encountering the pastoral counsellor and nding human dignity

Fortunately, I could talk alone to a pastoral counsellor. First, the pastoral counsellor
merely listened to me. Then she said that well face this together. She believed in me, so I
also dared to hope. Then we began the work. She was sometimes as vulnerable as I was,
and when needed, she was rm and precise with me. She was human. It felt good.
Christian faith gives me additional capability. I didnt want to be bitter and angry anymore. Perhaps forgiveness can have a place in my life after all. You know, after Good
Friday is Easter. After the cross there is resurrection. Hope makes me a new and whole
person.
This interview opened my eyes to see more clearly. I need to have both the past and future
linked to my present to really feel that I am ok. If there is just one thing everybody needs it
is human dignity. Human dignity implies not feeling like a second class citizen but feeling
one hundred percent equal with others, with a place in life and a congregation.

People who live in a state of hopelessness for many years receive hope with gratitude. Moltmann emphasizes that the Christian hope is based on faith, and despair
means not trusting in God.8 This was not the case in my material. According to my
interviews, despair is conceived of as an intermediate phase in life and a natural
reaction to a difcult life situation. They wanted to shout out their hopelessness
even to God. They believed that He exists.
7
8

Lindqvist 2005, 12; 35.

Moltman1988, 19, 2226.

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R AILI G OTHNI

It is important for the pastoral carer, when encountering people in despair,

to realize that to become conscious of ones despairand to be able to verbalize it
often leads to self-knowledge. This is a determining factor in maturation. To nd
well-being and hope in ones life does not mean avoiding problems or nding an
overall and quick solution to the difculties of life. This just does not happen. The
darkness of life is not an indication that a person is rejected by God.
Only after they verbalized their despair were they able to see that hope was
near them in the midst of everything. The main task of a pastoral counsellor is to
listen to the life stories, the human documents of despair and pain, and then help
people to see hope in their situation. The challenge of all counselling is that due to
limited time, the counsellor tries to force his or her own principles onto the client
and fails to listen carefully enough and to guide the clients to nd their own values
and thus strengthen the foundations of their life.
A pastoral counsellor needs to be able to understand another persons frame
of reference and points of view. At the same time, he or she should not impose
his or her own views. The pastoral counsellor ought to overcome his or her own
embarrassments or timidity sufciently enough to be able to address openly what
is going on in the relationship itself. All in all, this means that a counsellor should
have a highly developed self-awareness.9 There will be times when the counsellor
and the client together feel their shared helplessness. This is often decisive in the
healing process. Both have their shadowed side. For a pastoral counsellor, this
means accepting the position of not knowing.
The strategy in pastoral counselling is not to question why or ask who is to
blame. However, sometimes an indebted person feels guilt for being in a particular
predicament and starts the discussion by confessing his or her misjudgements and
wrong-doings. At this point the counsellor should listen to the confession and
be aware of the fact that it is often of great importance for the client to share
the reasons for ending in that particular situation. After having confessed and
encountered the problem face to face, the client can put it aside and begin to plan
and think about his or her future.
Dwelling on memories of the past is not useful but can often be easier for
the client than to take the necessary steps to proceed towards on unknown future.
Change is possible only if there is the courage to do what needs to be done despite
the mental threshold one has to cross. The counsellor should be able to understand
the suffering of the client and the person behind the pain. The fact that the counsellor sees the clients distress is already, in itself, comforting. If suffering and
misery is explained away or left unnoticed, it increases human despair. A successful dialogue with a counsellor has proved to be the ground from which the client
9

Rose 2002,7.

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159

nds a new and more realistic hope for the future. The over-indebted person often
felt that they needed another person in order to experience the presence of God.
In this situation, the pastoral counsellor is a helpmate, not a master.10

Pardoning of the debts

One of the effective interventions after the situation was conceptualized was the
pardoning of the debts. The Diaconal workers can help with economic guidance
and material help when needed. This has been possible by active network with
persons in debt, their social workers, and debt-counselors and creditors. Pastoral
counselors and diaconal workers need to see, that counseling cannot be just listening, but means also to inuence politicians and decision-makers in economic life.
The social and emacipatorial work should have its place in church also in Finland.
Picture 1. The network for pardoning debts
The pardoning of the debts was between 5199 % of the debts of interviewees.
The pardoning of debts proved to be essential for well-being in general, but especially for physical well-being. Some over-indebted persons felt that Gods act of
creation was repeated when the old loans requirements were no longer valid and
the pressure from the lenders was over.
The pastoral counsellor is one person in the bigger team of caregivers. He
or she has a unique role, which should be related to what others can give in a
benecial manner. The supportive interaction and the actual lifting of the debt
burden meant concrete help to the over-indebted. The pardoning of debts was
expressed as receiving freedom and grace. The experience of freedom and grace
indicates how large and deep the change was. In some cases the interview was an
important experience and a new manifestation of freedom.

Realistic hope
The experience of grace was connected to anothers understanding of the weight
of their burden and decision to help. A unied sense of self needed to meditate the
tension between the present and the past, which is xed and cannot be undone.
The pastoral counsellor can help to reinterpret the difcult experiences from the
past. Also, the future can be interpreted in discussions so that the client can see
alternative scenarios for life in the future. Living as an authentic self means that
one is taken seriously by others. Professor Lester points out that being authentic
includes being realistic about the past, expectant about the future, actively present
10

Hummel 2001, 6567. Hummel differentiates between Kohuts notion of empathy and Carl
Rogerss understanding of it as the unconditional positive regard a caregiver has for a help
seeker.

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R AILI G OTHNI

and, as a result, hopeful. These stories of people who had suffered and now see
new possibilities can be seen as stories of resurrection.11
The over-indebted persons saw new viewpoints and new possibilities. After
facing their life situation, verbalising their experiences and having their debts pardoned, the interviewees looked to the future with more condence. They could
make plans for training or work. They looked better their own welfare in a better
way. My data showed that the impact of the future dimension of human temporality is very important to ones identity, behaviour and ability to cope. The paradoxical fact is that although the past is gone and the future has not arrived, both
the past and future are consciously perceived in the present. By linking these three
together, one can build a unied sense of self.
Meetings with a pastoral counsellor gave the interviewees energy and much
needed patience in the difcult situation. Hope was construed both in a worldly
and in a Christian perspective. Trusting in God meant to the over-indebted persons
that they had someone more powerful than themselves on their side. Their God
was the one who was crucied and was suffering with them.
The emotional well-being of the interviewees was connected to the past in
that it included the possibility to get rid of bitterness and shame, and to accept the
past as a part of ones life. The social well-being attached to the present situation
meant be able to live a normal life as a respected human being in the community.
Having a sense of well-being and hope in the future included the possibility to
make future plans and to see Gods support and His plans for their life.
For those who felt that they were victims of the banking crisis during the
global economic depression, the hope in the future also contained the desire for
justice. They said that the perpetrators in the banking sector should be held responsible. People who feel like victims often hold on to bitterness longer than
others.

Hope with Christ

One can distinguish a twofold hope, in other words, a hope in this life and an
eschatological hope in the context of the future life. According to Moltmann, the
challenging point in the theology of hope is to be able to concentrate on hope
now and here and, at the same time, see the importance of hope in the future.12
Christian hope, which also has an eschatological perspective, provides a sense of
proportion in the middle of a crisis. The realm of God was activated in the past and
is here in the present; however its completion is not yet. Hope is always tied to the
11
12

Lester 1995, 42, Moltmann 2004, 9093.

Moltman 1988, 1519, 2632.

H OPE AS A P RECONDITION FOR W ELL - BEING

161

context in which the persons own life story is connected to the larger narrative of
life and Christianity.
On the basis of my data, the Christological dimension was more signicant
than the eschatological perspective. The person seeking help from the Church
wants the Word to become esh. This means that those seeking help need another
person to be there for him or her. People need communication, through speaking
and hearing. At the same time, they are longing for a healing silence.
The theology of hope is based on the relationship between God and human
beings. This means that in ones despair, there is the possibility to share the pain
with God. The theology of Christian hope without the cross is impossibility. The
suffering of God is His strong protest to the suffering people cause to themselves
and each other. God showed sympathy to the people in the incarnation, which
can instil hope in a person who suffers.13 Gods response to evil is to identify with
both the victims, in Jesus experience of rejection, and with the sinner by suffering
as one condemned. Do the church and pastoral counsellor have this fact in their
minds when meeting people?
The Cross is the centre, and its interpretation in the context of the history of
the worlds suffering points out that society and humankind are in the hermeneutic
place of the cross. The theology of the cross gives the individual the opportunity
to accept their identity without stigma and shame. Theology does not ignore or
escape individual suffering, but encourages people in the midst of pain. Mercy
is not a cheap means of survival to be used as a shortcut around misery.14 On
the cross Jesus himself suffered, and through this suffering he understands the
problems of people. This transformative solidarity of God with the world helps us
recognize and afrm human dignity.
The rich symbols of Christianity, when used correctly and for the purposes
of growth, offers hope to the congregation. The respondents pointed out the importance of intercessory prayer. That the church does not judge or condemn not
only enables people to accept themselves but also actively shares with them the
condition of being human. This means that both the pastoral counsellor and client
take seriously that through incarnation, death and resurrection the image of God
is restored.

Shearing in the congregation

In pastoral counselling hope cannot be limited to a private experience. It is also
a common concept. When the whole congregation is a symbol of hope, it gives
new life to individuals. A community is crucial for individuals. Peer support is
13
14

yvind 2006.
Louw 2006, 110111.

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especially important. Through togetherness and telling ones own life story to
others, people can nd their way through difcult phases of their life. In a peer
support group, participants are free to share their own experiences without any
unnecessary questions, explanations or excuses.15 They are able to construct their
sense of identity out of stories, both conscious stories and those that have earlier
been suppressed.
The Bible combines hope with condence, safety, life and the future, but also
with life after death. (Job 11: 18, 8: 2425. 2 Corinthians 4: 8.) Faith, hope and
love are the main theological virtues. Faith and hope include the belief that God
will affect human life. Hope helps people to endure difcult situations with dignity.16
The present and future are one when a person is standing in front of the face
of God and when he or she and the Church with him meet in worship. Prayer
changes the perspective from which a person examines life and looks to the future. The German pastoral psychologist Joachim Scharfenberg nds that praying
and Christian symbols help the individual to nd the latent signicance of life.17
Praying and Christian symbols help place both suffering and hope in a new light.
People seek both existential and ethical explanations for life. The existential explanation is mercy. Mercy is a free and unearned grace, which a person
receives, just because he or she is a human being. For life to have an ethical meaning is important to experience human dignity and interaction and to experience
true empathy and togetherness.
Spiritual well-being grounded in human dignity is in theology based on creation and salvation. The guilt remains guilt and suffering is suffering, but there is
a way to experience these and sometimes even live with pain. Full human dignity
even in misery is visible through Gods incarnation.18 Self-acceptance can be cultivated by opening oneself up transparently in prayer. By integrating grace as a
part of their life the interviewees unrealistic hope turned to more realistic hopes
and plans.19 Hope gave them a new identity and helped them to appreciate themselves. A realistic hope does not fail in difcult times or disappear under feelings
of despair, but helps the person to carry on through the difculties.
The over-indebted people wanted healing from shame, which was possible
only through communication and acceptance. They primary needed the chance to
talk and tell their stories to someone who would not judge, condemn or ask them
why. Receiving aid was clearly connected with condence and availability of the
15
16
17
18
19

Lindqvist 2004, 3132.

Leyva 2003.
Scharfenberg 1985.
Moltmann 1988, 19.
Louw 2006, 104.

H OPE AS A P RECONDITION FOR W ELL - BEING

163

counsellor. The feeling of rejection was linked with no one having time for them
and the lack of condence. Being able to give unhurried and peaceful time to a
person being counselled is a precondition for helping. The interviewees stressed
that the Church should be a more hope- and human dignity-oriented community.

Social justice and social responsibility

I asked, Is there anybody in the church who stands up for us? Cant you see in the
church that pastoral counselling is also defending those who dont have a voice of their
own? Perhaps we need to read the prophets in the Old Testament better.
I remember so well the situation when, leaving the room of the pastoral carer, I felt the
burden was gone, I cried, and she hugged me without any word of blame.So it should be:
no judgments, because everybody is in the same boat, so to speak. And, if the church is
the body of Christ, it surely is very difcult to recognize it. It is so degenerate. Justice and
love should be visible signs that the church is the church. Somewhere in the Bible it says,
Suppose a fellow-Christian, whether man or woman, is in rags with not enough food for
the day, and one of you says, Goodbye, keep warm, and have a good meal, but does
nothing to supply their bodily needs, what good is that? (James 2:1516)

The Church is depended on to be able to build healing relationships. The interviewees wanted everyone to be able to nd someone in the congregation who did
not reject them. In addition to approval, the over-indebted persons expected that
the Church take part in the ethical discussion on the management of the banking
crisis and injustice. Pastoral counselling should also include defending people.
People must be socialized to believe that they are important human beings and an
important part of the congregation.
The interviewees wanted somebody to come to them, take time with them and
also perhaps tell them that they are needed in the church. The hopelessness and
misery of people is a constant challenge to the Church. It needs to ask: who is
at the heart of the community, who can and will be welcomed, and who remains
outside? The Church should also support and stand up for the people who are
stigmatized and who are outsiders.
Giving a voice to those who suffer is one way to do social pastoral counselling.
The Church should listen to the voices which are not heard by the media or society.
This should be a widespread aspect of the work of the Church as a whole, not only
of the work of some special workers and teams.20 The interviewees felt that they
had to share about their own life in the interviews. They hoped that the reports
based on the interviews would be able to benet others in similar situations.
The social work of the Church is important, but it does not discount the role of
spirituality in church and society. The idea of continuing the activities of creation
20

Mkinen 2007, 55.

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R AILI G OTHNI

contains the idea of God being present here and now. It invites people to create
and build meaning into the work for the future. The Gospel can have a liberating
effect in protecting human life and peoples relationships. The general priesthood
is an important perspective in this case. The general priesthood means the call to
work for the benet of ones neighbour.21
Well-being includes experiencing togetherness. The dynamics of hope contains rstly the hope of the over-indebted person; secondly, the hope of pastoral
counsellor; thirdly, the hope of the community; and fourthly, the hope of professional network. The hope of the pastoral carer is usually the beginning and
foundation for the hope of client. The helper is to carry the hope when clients are
too tired or have the opinion that it is no use to hope at all. This means also talking
to God for people who are too tired to do it themselves.22
Christian respect for the uniqueness of each human is often trampled under
demands for economy and success. The hope in the community and the network
is built on mutual condence, cooperation and common talk, where the person
behind the problems is at the centre of everything. The ethical challenges to the
Church and society are a continuous reminder of the fact that social structures
should not lead to any ruthlessness or destruction. Justice is good soil for the
growth of wellbeing. This world is not unrealistic, but the world is not yet complete. To live without any hope is living without well-being and any prospects for
the future.23
In a world in which justice, peace and hope may have an effect, at least every
now and then, people can see opportunities and solutions. To the Church, building congregations of hope and togetherness is a big challenge. This challenge is
noticed by the Church in its new strategy. Authentic sharing of faith, love and
hope give meaning and the possibility of well-being in everyday life. Within a
congregation, solidarity means equality, acceptance and a sense of being valued.
Solidarity is dependent on freedom and mutuality. The ground for well-being is
based on a genuine commitment and not borne out of pity or duty.

Conclusions
Pastoral counselling should be based on the concept of mutuality and the enablement of self-advocacy. Growth and maturity for everybody is often the consequence of ongoing struggles and failures. It is through such acceptance and mutual
sharing of responsibility that the transforming love of God can be made manifest.
21
22
23

Moltmann 1988, 327330.

Lindqvist 2005, 21.
Moltmann1988, 338.

H OPE AS A P RECONDITION FOR W ELL - BEING

165

From the answers given by the interviewees, it seems that people construct
their sense of identity and well-being in relation to a story, in which they are rst
a normal part of society, then a hopeless outsider, and nally a person who has
been given a future, hope and human dignity.
The process from hopeless to hope can be descript as follows:
Picture 2. The process from hopeless to hope.
Often the over-indebted persons rst tried to nd solutions in their despair
through an unrealistic hope for a sudden miracle or burnt out in their anger or
apathy. To be allowed to verbally express ones experiences, to have someone to
listen to ones story of hopelessness and hope and to meet others who have gone
through similar problems were benecial experiences which were important for
healing. The role of the pastoral counsellor was to hope for people in times when
people were too tired to hope.
The well-being of over-indebted people gradually increased when they were
able, like Job, to voice their suffering and anger.24 The incarnation of God and His
suffering meant to the interviewees that they were not alone. Praying on their own
but especially together with the congregation was a way to see the situation in a
new perspective.
A pastoral counsellor is always a representative of the Church. The process
in pastoral councelling implies rst that the pastoral counsellor asks her- or himself: Who is this person whom I am encountering? Caring means to honour the
person and his or her autonomy, dignity and collaboration. In pastoral counselling
one needs to take into account the whole person and remember that the physical,
emotional, social and spiritual dimensions are all equally important.

References
Gothni, Raili (2006). Velat anteeksitutkimus Akordi-rahaston asiakkaista.
[Debts forgiven? Evaluation research of the operations model of akordfunds].
Helsinki: Kirkkohallitus.
Heidegger, Martin (1968). ber den Humanismus. Frankfurt am Main: Klostermann
Hummel, Leonard M. (2001). Heinz Kohut and Empathy: A Perspective from a
theology of the Cross. Word and World, Volume XXI, Number 1, pp. 6474.
Illman Karl-Johan (2002). Att frst Job. In book Att frst humaniora. Ren
Gothni (ed.). Helsingfors: Finska Vetenskaps-societeten (s. 167183)
24

Jones 2007, 4758 has pointed out the similarity use of Psalms.

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Jones, Logan C. (2005). The Psalms of Lament and Transformation of Sorrow.

The Journal of Pastoral Care and Counseling, Vol 61 issue 12- Spring Summer 2007, pp. 4758.
Lester, Andrew D.(1995) Hope in Pastoral Care and Counseling. Westminster:
John Knox Press.
Leyva, V. L. (2003) An exploration of the psychological and theoretical factors
related to hope. Loyla College in Maryland.
Lindqvist, Martti (2004) Toivosta ja eptoivosta. [Hope and hoplessness].
Helsinki: Kirjapaja.
Lindqvist, Martti (2005). Gods mastery and mystery in the creation and history. Hope and Despair in Encounter with Human Suffering in the Context
of HIV and AIDS. IN book Munyika Veikko & Aaltonen Riitta (toim.) Challenging the current understanding around HIV and AIDS, an African Perspective. Churches United Against HIV and AIDS in Eastern and Southern Africa.
Nairobi, Kenia: Daystar University Publication, 725.
Louw, Danil J. (2000). A Pastoral Hermeneutics of Care and Encounter. A theological design for a basic theory, anthropology, method and therapy. Goodwood, South Africa: Lux Verbi.
Louw, Daniel J. (2006). The HIV Pandemic from the Perspective of a Theologia
Resurrectionis: Resurrection Hope as a Pastoral Critique on the Punishment
and Stigma Paradigm. Journal of theology for Southern Africa 126, 100114
Moltmann, Jrgen (1988). Theology of Hope. Translated by James W. Leitch:
SCM Press.
Moltmann, Jrgen (2004) In the endthe beginning. The life of hope. Translated
by Margaret Kohl. Minneapolis: Fortress Press.
Mkinen, Kari (2007). Tuskan ja toivon kantajana [Bearer of Suffering and Hope].
Sielunhoidon aikakauskirja nro 20, rakkaus, 4456.
Rose, Jessica (2002). Sharing Spaces? Prayer and the Counseling relationship.
London: Darton, Longman and Tod Ltd.
Scharfenberg, Joachim (1985). Einfhrung in die Pastoralpsychologie. Gttingen:
Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht
Sundn, Hjalmar (1966). Religion och rollerna. Ett psykologiskt studium an
fromheten. Stockholm: Svenska kyrkans diakonistyrelsens frlag.
yvind, M. Eide (2006). When Defence Turns into a Hindrance. 35th Nothern European exchange of experience. Unpubliched papper in a conference 1.6.2006.

Religious shame theology and assistance

Paavo Kettunen

Background
This presentation is based on my monograph research on Finnish religious shame1
that was published last May (2011). The starting point for the study was another
study that I had previously done in 1998 on Finnish confession2 , where I studied
the experiences of Finns with confession. I asked the following questions:
For what reasons had people confessed?
How were they helped and were they helped?
According to my study, 58% received help in getting forgiveness for their guilt.
In contrast, many (42%) were not helped. At this point I started to wonder why.
One hypothesis was that many of those suffering with shame think that they are
suffering with guilt and are looking for help through forgiveness.
On the basis of this hypothesis, I started to reect on the relationship between
shame, guilt and forgiveness in my new study. Guilt, atonement and forgiveness
have been extensively researched in theology, but shame (theology) has more or
less been totally forgotten. One of the central questions throughout my study has
been whether the theological paradigm focusing on guilt and forgiveness has bypassed shame relating to a persons whole being, identity of self and self-respect.
My research has been written in Finnish. However, everyone should be able
to have a copy of the table of contents in English. (SEE: Appendix) There you can
see what kinds of topics that the study has covered. Unfortunately, I will have to
limit the number of themes in this presentation to only a few.
The research method used for this study was pastoral-psychological and various shame experiences were examined on the basis of empirical data. These experiences were then analyzed according to theological tradition and psychology.
During my research, I tried to answer the following questions
1

Paavo Kettunen, Ktketty ja vaiettu. Suomalainen hengellinen hpe [Hidden and suppressed.
Finnish religious shame] Kirjapaja 2011 (451 s.)
Pastoral Psychology, Vol. 1/51, 2002, 1325.

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What do we mean by negative religious shame and discretionary religious

shame?
What in religious life or based on religious life are Finns ashamed of?
What is the difference between religious shame and guilt?
What factors have affected the birth of religious shame and what factors maintain it?
How does religious shame manifest itself in Finnish religious life and the relationship Finns have with God?
What kind of religiousness does shame drive people to?
What is the image of God and the relationship to God of a person suffering with
religious shame?
How does religious shame manifest itself in different religious communities?
What kinds of theological conclusions should be drawn from religious shame
experiences?

Structure of the presentation

a) First, I would like to talk about the source data for the study. I will begin by
giving an outline of the material itself and then how it was collected.
b) Then, I will go on to talk about the main perspectives on the psychology of
shame (chapter 2 of my study) with examples of shame letters from the book.
c) Next, I will speak on the role of shame in the relationship that people have
with God, and how it serves as a damaging factor (chapter 6). In this way, I
will focus on the relationship with and image of God that people suffering
with shame hold.
d) Finally, I will talk about the conclusions that were drawn from the data from
the shame theology perspective.

Source materials
The source material for my study comprises letters written by Finns in 2001 and
in 2004. Using newspaper advertisements, people were asked to write about their
own experiences with shame. This effort produced 435 essays and of these 435
collected essays, 92 were used.3
Writing about ones own shame was not easy for people. However, many expressed their joy about being able to express things that they have had to suppress
for many decades. The difculty of writing about these experiences, coupled with
3

Kettunen 2011, 34, 47.

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

169

the desire to remain anonymous, communicates the need to hide associated with
a shame identity.4
It is wonderful that this truly suppressed topic is being nally brought forward through
your research. I have pondered these questions for a few years but, because of their sensitive nature, have not spoken about them with anyone elsea silenced topic to be sure!!!
-I am old-fashioned enough that I dont know how to talk about such personal things to
others, neither close friends nor strangers. However, facelessly, I can tell you about things
that I have never said aloud to anyone. (Onerva, 28 years old)
This is the rst time that I am talking about the shame that my history causes me as a
religious person. My life has been so shabby that its difcult to talk about. -Writing
has been difcult, because I dont know if Ive known how to write about this . In
any case, this has been important to me. You have given me an opportunity to try and
understand my shame and decipher it. Hopefully, in this way, I can be of help to you.
(Miisa)

The shame letters contain very taxing life experiences and this is why their study
is also very taxing for the researcher. They easily pull the researcher in to feel
and experience something of the same shame that the writer writes about. As a
result, the researcher often nds himself as a carrier of shame. Reasonably, shame
researchers can be likened to psychotherapists, who claim that the only way to
identify shame is by nding these feelings from within ones self rst.5

Who writes about shame?

The majority of those who wrote and submitted a shame essay (85%) were
women. This is partly explained by the fact that women are more enthusiastic
about participating in this kind of research. Expressing their feelings and writing
about them comes easier to women than men. In contrast, despite the majority
of women, one cannot conclude that women experience shame more than men.
In fact, it could be the reverse. Hiding is expressly related to shame, as well as
not being able to speak about it easily. However, it has come to light both in this
study, as well as in a few American studies, that the shame related to gender and
sexuality is experienced more by girls and women.6
There are two statistics that must be mentioned. The rst one deals with the
age of the shame essay writers; 75% of those who sent in an essay are of active
working age (2564 years old). This leads to the conclusion that the recognition
of shame is a part of adults life situation. The other statistic to mention is the
4
5
6

Kettunen 2011, 4142.

Hyrck 2009, 180; Kettunen 2011, 45.
Kettunen 2011, 4748.

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religious afliation of the writers. Many were specically Pentecostal. Relatively

speaking, the proportion of writers practicing Pentecostalism was signicantly
higher (11%) than those practicing Pentecostalism in the general population of
Finland (1%). This leads to two possible conclusions. Firstly, it seems obvious
that this type of Christianity causes shame. Secondly, people already suffering
with a shame identity gravitate towards these groups. In other words, this type of
strong religiousness draws those suffering with shame towards it.

The elementary perspectives of shame psychology

When studying shame theology, it is important to note that the psychological aspects of shame are also involved in the religious lives of those suffering with
shame, and are present in the religious groups with which these people are involved. This is why shame theology cannot be understood or developed separately
from shame psychology.

The interconnection of shame and guilt

Many writers reected on the relationship and the differences between shame and
guilt in their own essays. Some of the writers attempted to separate them from one
another. Others spoke about shame and guilt almost synonymously. For some,
answering the request for letters awoke a process of clarifying the relationship
between shame and guilt. What is typical is that the feelings identied previously
as guilt are often later recognized as shame.
Are guilt and shame related to one another? Am I ashamed, I am chronically guilty?
Would there be anyhow reason to reect and even possibly write about this? I pondered
this. -My guilt is actually shame! Why does shame seem so hard to bear? I would rather
wallow in my guilt than carry shame.Shameguilt. I have thought that I am forever guilty
for everything. Until shame rolled over me and I realized that my guilt was in large part
shame. The position of the guilty person is easier. Guilt is always the result of some action
and you can defend, or at least explain, it. Shame is a comprehensive state related to the
right to exist. And youre not given a turn to defend yourself. When Im guilty, I can always
explain things through [external] conditions or laziness or inexperience or something.
(Salli 41 years old)

The source material indicates that reecting upon ones own feelings of shame and
guilt can help to separate the two concepts. Writing about shame helped many to
become aware that the feelings once thought of as guilt were actually shame. A
reason why shame is misinterpreted as guilt is partially because the role of guilt is
easier. Guilt is a result of actions and it is easier to defend. It is also more external

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

171

than shame. Shame can also be perceived as guilt because it has been spoken about
more in the church and in society than shame.

Shame as an experience of abysmal inferiority and worthlessness

Different writers gave the concepts of shame and guilt, as well as the differences
between them, different signicance. One group made a clear distinction between
shame and guilt.
I believe that shame is different that guilt. The shame in me is me. I am worthless and I
will never amount to anything. Guilt is that which I do. Or leave undone. (Marianne 56
years old)
I wonder what causes shame in me. Its the endless feeling of inferiority, badness and
insignicance. I really shouldnt even exist. I constantly feel that I am bad, worthless and
unneeded. I cannot believe that someone would REALLY care about me without having
some external reason. (Salli, 41 years old)

When a person is ashamed of the own being, it is difcult to allow ones self
the right to exist. I really shouldnt even exist; Salli feels, as many of the other
writers do, that she was not born as wanted child but as nuisance to her parents.
Shame as a psychologicalas well as a religiousexperience is comprehensive. It shadows the whole being. It is not a question of doing something wrong
that can be xed. Shame violates a persons right to exist. Only when a person
exists, can they do wrong and experience guilt. Sallis description of shame is interesting; Its the endless feeling of inferiority, badness and insignicance and
she feels bad, worthless and unneeded. It is especially badness that is connected
to shame. With badness, the rst question is not whether someone did something
wrong and is therefore bad. Badness is a comprehensive assessment of ones self.
Experiences of ones own worthlessness are integral in shame. Shame violates
self-respect and self-worth. According to the Christian concept of man, God has
given his worth to humans and shame denies that worth. A common characteristic
in the source material is that those suffering with shame also suffer from a lack of
self-respect, as well as a low opinion of self and others.7
Ones own experiences of worthlessness indicate inadequacy that blurs hope
and clouds the future. I am worthless and I will never amount to anything. In
this way, shame not only threatens a persons internal reality, but their existence in
society, their social relationships and their place in life. To experience feelings of
worthlessness is not only to experience them just inside ones head; when a person
truly starts to feel their inadequacy, they start to destroy their own potential. This
is how they start to carry out the fear and threats that eat away at them inside.
7

Kettunen 2011, 87.

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The comprehensiveness of shame and its focus on the self indicates that shame
could be seen as a physical reaction. Examples of this are blushing, turning away,
dropping the shoulders or looking at the ground; a person can manifest shame
with their body as well.8
A person suffering with an identity of shame, with the lowest opinion of themselves, is not as a result of signicance or respect. It is based on worthlessness and
inadequacy. This results in the person experiencing life not as a valuable gift of
promise but as something that they do not deserve; that the person should not exist
or at least should not enjoy their existence. Those that have a shame-based identity
believe in their deepest heart that they are unneeded and that they are impossible
to accept or love.9 An identity of shame is no longer a question of a passing emotion but of a long lasting shame affect that forms a holistic perspective and basis
for life10
The concept of self held by a person experiencing shame is very negative
in its entirety. The characteristics that make up their self-image are badness and
insignicance. The person is not valuable and they can only become valuable by
earning their worth through actions and achievements. This results in a concept of
self which is demanding and focussed on achievement. Even ones existence must
be earned. Consequently, the person in question demands much from themselves.
One of the characteristics of this type of self-image is the demand for perfection11
and this image has a direct effect on the persons religiousness.
From the perspective of both the psychology and the theology of shame, one
fundamental question is what separates shame from guilt. This is not simple and
easy. However, some distinctions can be made.

Differentiating between guilt and shame

8

9
10
11

For example, bowing ones head is related to the physical expression of shame. This indicates a
desire to make ones self as small as possible. (Miller 1995, 3839.)
Albers 1995, 3; Kettunen 2011, 90.
Kettunen 2011, 90.
The shame of failure and the goal of perfection as a part of the shame identitys experiences
are reminiscent of thin-skinned narcissism. The thin-skinned narcissist has experienced their
mother badly. They have internalized this experience as an external evil and have taken it as
their inner object. They relate to this evil object, which in turn makes them more susceptible to
injury when faced with failure. They have difculty allowing themselves to make mistakes and
to have deciencies. Simultaneously, in addition to the evil object, there is a representation of an
idealized object of perfect goodness affecting their internal world. They believe that this object
will accept them only if they are faultless. They are more understanding with other people and do
not demand the same level of perfection as they do of themselves. From their own perspective,
their situation can be unbearable because they become insignicant in their own eyes if they do
not feel that they are perfect. (Hyrck 2006, 1718; Kettunen 2011, 92.)

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

173

Guilt

Shame

Basic feelings

Ive done wrong.

Inner judge judges

Inner voice

You are evil!

Change your ways

Birth history

Actions, deeds

Area of inuence

Outside of ones self

Morals
Conscience

Reaction

Attempt to correct, resolve, get forgiveness

Actions can be corrected,
resolved or forgiven

I am inadequate, insignicant, no one cares

about me.
The inner eye is watching.
You are bad!
You will never amount to
anything.
Level of early childhood
relationship
Inside ones self
Emotions, affects
Own existence
Identity
Self-image
Isolation, withdrawal,
escape
A need to be seen, a
fear of being exposed,
ones existence cannot
be changed, reciprocal
acceptance, becoming
adequate
Grace, reception, acceptance.

Hopehopelessness

Help

Forgiveness

On the whole, one can say that guilt is related to ones actions whereas shame is
more comprehensive. It is a question of a persons self and their deepest emotions.
Someone who is guilty asks What bad have I done, while someone suffering
with shame asks am I good enough? All too often, the answer given by someone
helping a person suffering with shame is forgiveness. However, forgiveness is
interpreted by the person suffering with shame as You are forgiven for existing.
From a shame psychology perspective, the notions of shame in my source
material are very similar those described in the psychoanalytical theory of shame.
According to that theory, shame is established in early childhood, when a baby
does not experience an accepting response from an adult. The child is still so
young, that they are not able to do wrong. When the child is rejected, they expe-

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rience that with their whole being. They, as a needy child, really have no right to
exist.
During my presentation, I will speak about shame only as a negative experience. However, there are healthy, life protecting forms of shame as well. In religious life, this discretionary shame protects an individuals religious life from the
intrusion of others. Discretionary shame is examined in chapters 2.3 and 2.4 of
my study.

Shame in the relationship with God

What then does the relationship with God and image of God look like of one
suffering with religious shame?
When the disturbing and destructive factor of a persons relationship with God
is shame, they feel that they are too small, insignicant and worthless before God.
They may not be able to name any action or event that would prevent their connection to God. The action is not the obstacle. The obstacle is the person themselves.
Religious shame in the relationship with God means that the psychological
experiences of shame manifest themselves in the relationship to God and the religious community as well. Theologically, it is interesting to note that they are
reected also in doctrine and opinion. A persons shame identity has an impact
on
1. how they experience God
2. how they experience themselves in front of God (coram Deo) and
3. what kind of religious community they seek to join.
With shame, there is always a question in relation to existence. From the religious
life perspective, the important question is what kind of a relationship does one
have with God. It could cause, maintain or relieve shame.
As a child in a religious home, God was always real to me. He was great, exacting and
strict. Now I notice that I didnt even trust God. I was so bad and impossible that God
couldnt even care about me. As an adult, I have searched for the much spoken (about)
merciful God but with unsatisfactory results. It is still difcult for me to trust that there
could be someone who truly wants to take care of me. Knowledge and emotions are
conicting (and indeed in conict) with one another. I am ashamed of myself in front of
God and at the same time, I realize that I am ashamed of God. (Salli, 41 yrs old)
My God has been demanding, strict, frightening and driving. He has been an arbitrary and
erratic despot, with whom one has had to be on ones guard. For others, He wants good
things, but not for me. He wants to love others, but not me. I have to achieve for God.
And when I didnt have the strength to continue achieving, I felt that He related to this in
a rejecting, angry, even destructive way. I have felt very much guilt before God about my
emotions and mental picture. My anger towards God has been difcult to accept, as has

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

175

my fear. I have asked myself if this road is the good one and the right one to approach
Him. That question shows how much I have felt guilt and shame about my being and how
I have taken responsibility for those things that are not my responsibilityas if I could
have chosen my own path.I am a loser and a reject because I do not satisfy a certain type
or measure of a person. (Miia)

There are notable similarities in the images of God among the people suffering
with shame (hold), but these also change. Therefore, for those suffering with
shame, we cannot speak about a single image of God but of multiple characteristics relating to the image of God. The characteristics expressing the image of
God in the shame essays can be categorized as follows: 1) authoritarian, 2) frightening, strict and demanding, 3) silent, 4) changing and 5) a confused relationship
with God. What is typical in the last mentioned characteristic is that the person
themselves does not know how their image of God will develop in the future.
From a shame outlook, the image of God and relationship with God are in a
two-way relationship. On the one hand, the relationship with God inuences the
individuals image of God. On the other hand, the individuals experienced image of God creates and alters their relationship with God. In this way, many of
the aforementioned characteristics about the image of God also describe the relationships that people suffering with shame have with God. This, however, does
not happen simply. For example, an authoritarian image of God could result in
a frightening and demanding relationship with God. However, authoritarianism
could also awaken feelings of safety. Another example is when a changing image
of God can raise feelings of fear and insecurity also then when a person desires
change. Holding on to an old image could feel safer because a person does not
know what consequences changes will bring. In contrast, this changing image
could also relieve feelings of anxiousness and fear when the change signies a
release from whatever they have been suffering from. It could also be a psychologically draining process. In this case, we can see how strongly an individuals
psychological and religious dimensions are tied to another. From a persons image
of God, we can see what kind of God and religiousness they NEED inside.
The characteristics of a strict and demanding God image are greatness, demandingness and strictness. God is a frightening, punishing and even an arbitrary
despot. The relationship with God is labelled by distance, fear and trepidation.
A person cannot trust this type of God but instead has to constantly be on their
guard. God is not a provider of safety or security one can turn to when weak; one
has to be capable, always doing and achieving. The basis for the image of God is
not that what kind of God He is but how a person acts. Righteousness has to earn
by doing, not through grace and Gods love.12
12

Kettunen 2011, 339340.

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A demanding God and an insignicant person

There are always two parties in the relationship with God: the concept of God
and the concept of ones self are in a two-way relationship. Those who experience
God as strict and demanding consider themselves as individuals who do not fulll
the Christian criteria and are worthless. They are not enough for a demanding God
and consider themselves bad and impossible, and they cannot trust that they would
be good enough for God. They can see the love of God in the lives of others but
they are not good enough for it themselves.
A large part of traditional Christian theology emphasizes the total difference
between God and people. God does not need anything that people have to offer;
He is perfect in His divinity. This emphasis can create feelings of incapability and
worthlessness in people. In order to avoid shame, people also need to feel that they
can truly do something worthwhile for others. If people are raised in the belief that
they have no right to any other existence than the one that God has given them,
it could result in the weakening of a persons strength and worth. This type of
theological emphasis could result in shame.13
A demanding, strict and authoritarian God presents conditions to people that
they can in no way fulll. This is why the individual feels unworthy. Still, this individual can try to nd a good relationship with God and thus they try, with their
own feelings of worthlessness, to fulll the demands of the strict God. According to the source material, specically Pietistic movements and Pentecostalism
answer the longing for God described above. They present ideals and norms with
which the individual must comply. In this way, the central issue in Christianity
becomes moral. The measure of a Christian life and the relationship with God is
often taken from sexual moral or even sexual abstinence.
I joined a Pentecostal parish through baptism. There, I found friends, sang in the choir
and led the Sunday School. So the majority of my free time was spent with the parish.
I gained a lot of good into my life. During the 19501960s however, there was a lawabiding mentality that reigned in the awakening movements. More specically, through
unwritten rules even, we were told what we were allowed to do, what was desirable and
what forbidden or frowned upon. We followed the rules in our unconditionally childish
way, even blindly.A TERRIBLE guilt was frozen into my mind: because of my actions
(!) (=movies and cigarettes) God forsook me. (Virpi, 57-years old)

A person living with demanding ideals could fall into two types of traps. Firstly,
(1) a person could believe that through religious achievements, reading the Bible,
prayer and religious participation, they can become good enough for God. The
problem with this is that this individuals experience with inadequacy is by an
13

Pattison 2000, 240.

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

177

emotional need. It cannot be removed through religious achievements or through

conscious learning.14 To be helped with their feelings of shame, a person must be
able to experience acceptance, love and good enough specically on an emotional
level. The other trap (2) is that the more the individual tries to be good enough
through their achievements, the worse they feel about themselves. This type of
relationship with God is coloured by fear and not the trust towards Gods goodness
and love. In this relationship, merits are in a more central role than grace.
It is obvious that authoritarian religious movements demands of perfection
and obedience are tailor-made for producing shame. Unless a person fullls the
norms and measures that their religious community has established, the person
feels that they are bad. This could partially explain why religious shame in the
relationship with God often appears in free religious groups and pietistic movements, and mostly in authoritarian religious circles. Nevertheless, it is difcult to
differentiate between when a religious movement has produced the individuals
shame and when an individual with A shame identity has sought out a certain
type of religious group.15
According to my study, it seems that, on the one hand, a Christianity that
emphasizes ideals and norms draws people suffering with shame towards it. It responds to their internal longing to become better and be more perfect. On the other
hand, when this does not happen, it increases and maintains a persons religious
shame identity.
Those suffering with shame can be helped if they are accepted and received as
they are. The paradox of grace is that someone who feels themselves inadequate
may experience that they are good enough, accepted and worthy as such, even
though they are inadequate. It is much more than to be approved and worthy based
on ones actions and achievements. In grace, it comes down to that. Only grace
and not morals or an exemplary lifecan overcome shame.16

Shame theologys conclusions

During my presentation, I have only been able to express a few viewpoints that
have emerged from the experiences of shame that Finns have written about. To
14

15
16

Emotions are considered more important in embracing religion than religious concepts are. For
example, religious conversion is not explained by the fact that religion would offer an individual intellectually satisfying responses to existential questions but by the fact that offers an
experience in emotional satisfaction. (Ketola 2008, 92.)
Kettunen 2011, 9394.
Kettunen 2011, 398401. -to be accepted without regard to whether we are acceptable. Grace
stands for gift; it is the gift of being accepted before we become acceptable. (Smedes 1993,
107108.)

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nish, I will present some theological conclusions that can be drawn from the
empirical data, using the following six points:
Guilts importance in theological tradition and in helping people has been so
central that it has in many cases closed our eyes to the reality of shame. However,
I claim that shame is more of a burning question to people today than guilt. A
persons basic question is not what bad have I done but am I good enough?
It is important to differentiate between guilt and shame both in preaching and
in pastoral care. The distinction is important because the response to guilt and
shame are different.
Another important difference is between religious shame and original sin. Neither is a question of a persons actions but both are experienced in front of God
(coram Deo). Original sin is directed against God (contra Deum) but shame is
directed against ones self.
There is reason to reect on the Bibles basic stories alongside guilt from a
shame perspective as well. This relates at least to the following interpretations:
The Bibles creation story says that a person is created into a mutual relationship
with God. Its effects are two-directional. A person has the ability to hear Gods
voice. However, they also have the right to expect that God will listen to them.
When a person feels that God has not heard their prayer, they experience shame.
Shame is therefore implicitly present from creation.
The story of the Fall (Genesis 3) could be interpreted as shames basic story.
God does not shout What bad have you done to the people but His cry is of
longing Man, where are you? (Gen 3:9) God is inviting people into a mutual
relationship, into a communication that had vanished. In this story, people were
escaping and hiding from God because they were ashamed.
There are elements of shame present in Jesus life. Without an earthly father
at birth, Jesus belonged to a lower class in Jewish society. When Jesus was
born, his parents could not nd a proper home. Shame elements are particularly
emphasized in Jesus passion. Jesus died in a situation of shame: My God, my
God, why have you forsaken me (Matthew 27:46). It is the basic cry of shame.
He was not only unworthy to people but to God as well.
The recognition of shames basic elements, from the creation of mankind to
Jesus passion, could be the element of hope in those suffering with shame,
worthlessness, inadequacy and alienation today. Jesus life was not picture perfect; he was one of us. That is why he is the friend of those suffering with
shame.
he position of atonement and forgiveness in the Christian tradition is so strong
that it leaves the reality of those suffering with shame in the shadows. Both the
person preaching and the pastoral caregiver should remember that people of today
are not only living in a reality of guilt and forgiveness. It has been established that

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

179

there are two elds to discuss, one of guilt and one of shame. I will now attempt
to describe them with the help of the following gures:
In the guilt eld, one acts from a atonement-mentality standpoint. In the theories of atonement, the thinking is judicial and moral in its entirety. An individual
is observed as a person of conscience and choice-making individual.
The description of this type of persons situation ts poorly into the eld of
shame.
The problem of a person suffering with the reality of shame is not primarily related to morals or conscience but is related to the persons self and comprehensive
being. The basis of shame is the injury of a thin-skinned narcissists self. Therefore, helping comes down to a persons emotional life and communicating with
it. If this emotional basis for shame is not understood when helping, the judicial
nature of atonement theories is easily applied. The source material for my study
indicates that this has not only occurred with caregivers in the religious community. Those suffering with a shame identity have internalized this way of thinking
as well.
Only through the realization that one has to act in separate elds when dealing
with guilt and shame, can real and essential help be given. The judicial-moral
way of thinking can work in the eld of guilt but it has to be left aside if we
want to help those suffering with shame. The one suffering with shame has to be
approached empathetically and from their emotional reality as the starting point.
Thus, pastoral care and psychotherapeutic help for shame are essential.
A much larger challenge ahead is the Churchs preaching and teaching work.
It often focuses on specically supporting a persons conscientious life. It has
traditionally perceived its job as operating specically in the eld of guilt. This
problem becomes more concrete for example in the absolution in services. It is
clearly a message belonging to the eld of guilt. Simultaneously, there are many
people hearing the message of forgiveness who are, at that time, suffering from
shame. The question taxing them is am I good enough but absolution is not the
answer to that question.
The response of shame to people is no, you are not good enough! The response of grace and acceptance is you are good enough and acceptable, imperfect
and inadequate as you are!
6) And in conclusion, during my study I have been affected by the stories
of the shame suffering people. However, I have also been affected by salvation
history. Between those stories is a long cycle and this cycle touches upon the
reality of the people suffering with shame.
The roots of shame are already in paradise. They are in the honest recognition
that it is not good for a person to be alone, without a mutually accepting relationship with each other or with the eternal self. Moreover, the correction of shame

180

Figure 1: Field of guilt

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R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

181

Figure 2: Field of shame

also has its roots in paradise. Already there, God calls people to his side with
the question Where are you? It is not a question issuing blame but of longing.
God will miss humankind if he loses his relationship with it. This is why He asks,
Where are you? The response to this comes from the cross. It is Jesus response
to the thief, Already today you are with me in paradise (Luke 23:4243). The
ashamed thief does not apologize. He asks to remember their whole self. Jesus
does not forgive the thief but accepts the whole worthless person. He promises to
be together with the worthless. It is enough when you are in a good place and in
good company.

References
Shame essays written by Finns in 2001 and 2004 (92 essays).

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Bibliography
Albers, Robert H.
1995, Shame: A Faith Perspective. New York: The Haworth Pastoral Press, Inc.
Hyrck, Riitta
2006, Ohut- ja paksunahkainen narsisti. Objektisuhdeteoreettinen nkkulma narsismin erilaisiin ilmenemismuotoihin. [The thin and thick-skinned narcissist. A theoretical object relations perspective on narcissisms various manifestations.]Psykoterapia
1/2006. 132.
2009, Hpealttiin narsistisen potilaan persoonallisuuden rakenne ja haavoittuvuuden huomioiminen hoitosuhteessa brittilisen objektisuhdeteorian nkkulmasta. [The
personality structure of a shame-susceptible narcissistic patient, and the consideration of vulnerability in the care relationship from a British object relations perspective.] Psykoterapia 3/2009. 179197.
Ketola, Kimmo
2008, Uskonnolliset kokemukset ja emootiot.Uskonto ja ihmismieli. Johdatus kognitiiviseen uskontotieteeseen. [Religious experiences and emotions.Religion and the
human mind. An introduction to cognitive religious studies.] Toimittaneet Kimmo Ketola, Ilkka Pyysiinen & Tom Sjblom. Helsinki: Gaudeamus. 92109.
Kettunen Paavo
2001, The Function of Confession: A Study Based on Experiences.Pastoral Psychology. Volume 51, Number 1, September 2002. 1325.
2011, Ktketty ja vaiettu. Suomalainen hengellinen hpe [Hidden and suppressed.
Finnish religious shame] Kirjapaja 2011 (451 p.)
Miller, Susan
1985, The Shame Experience. Hillsdale, NJ: The Analytic Press.
Pattison, Stephen
2000, Shame. Theory, Therapy, Theology. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Smedes, Lewis B.
1993, Shame and Grace. Healing the Shame We Dont Deserve. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

Appendix
Paavo Kettunen
Hidden and suppressed
Finnish Religious Shame
Table of Contents
Foreword
1. Introduction
(a) Background
(b) Previous research
(c) Religious shame as the focus of research
i. What is meant by religious shame?
ii. The purpose of this study

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

iii. Limitations and clarications
(d) Shame letters as descriptions of religious shame
i. Obtaining sources
ii. Special characteristics and problems in source collection
iii. Source selection
iv. Motives for and experiences with writing shame letters
v. Shame letters as complaint psalms
(e) Who write about religious shame?
i. Authors backgrounds
ii. Regional background
iii. Religious framework of reference
iv. Situations in working life
v. Suicidality
vi. Sexual orientation
2. The psychology of shame
(a) Shame as a question of an individuals inner world
i. The birth of shame and its basic characteristics
ii. Ontological shame
iii. Collective shame
iv. Shame and narcissism
v. Shame as an affect and as an emotional reaction
vi. The paranoid-schizoid position and the depressive position
(b) Shame, guilt and fear
i. The interconnection of shame and guilt
ii. Shame as an experience of endless badness and worthlessness
iii. The dialectic between shame and guilt
iv. Shame as a social question
v. Fear and shame
(c) Holiness and discretionary shame protecting life
i. Discretionary shame
ii. Discretionary shame in religious life
(d) Lack of the discretionary shame
i. The ethical dimension of the lack of healthy shame
(e) I am an extra, unwanted accident
i. The rejected beingcomprehensive shame
(f) The atmosphere of the childhood home and childs position
i. The conditional existence of children
ii. The atmosphere of anxiety
iii. Authoritarianism and obedience
iv. A lack of respect and self-esteem as sources of shame
v. Shame born of forced secrecy and suppression
(g) Shame identity and religious life
(h) Loss and shame
3. The basis of shame theology
(a) Questions posed by shame theology

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(b) The story of creation as a founding story of shame

i. An Irenaeusian or Augustinian interpretation?
ii. Man born into relationship
iii. A shame or a guilt narrative?
iv. The shame theology of the creation story
v. Shame theology and assistance
(c) Shame in other parts of the bible
i. Shame in the Old Testament
ii. Shame in the New Testament
4. Shame in religious communities
(a) The nature of shame experienced in religious communities
i. The religious community as a normative force and user of power
ii. Owning truth
iii. Discipline and exclusion (from the community)
(b) Authoritarian religiousness as a breeding ground for shame
i. The need for authoritarianism
ii. The nature of religiousness
iii. The high expectations and ideals of the community
iv. Ineligibility and worthlessness at the heart of the parish
v. Divorce as religious shame
vi. Ineligibility endangers the communitys membership
(c) Religious wanderers from one religious group to another
(d) Denying human needs in religious communities
5. Gender and sexual shame
(a) Im the wrong sex
i. A boy was expected and a girl was born
ii. The shame of trans-sexuality
(b) Forbidden and inadmissible sexuality
i. The shame of sexuality
ii. The shame of being raised to be a woman
(c) The shame of sexual needs and wants
(d) The guilt and shame of sexual actions
(e) The shame of sexuality caused by religiousness
i. The effect of believers sexual abstention on sexual identity
ii. The effects of sexual abstention on religious thought
iii. Sexual reservedness as a cause of fear
(f) The shame of homosexuality
i. Homosexuality, faith and the relationship with God
ii. Homosexuality and church employees
iii. Consequences of homosexuality
(g) The shame of single parents and single people
i. The shame of single parents
ii. The shame of unmarried people
6. Shame as a damaging effect on relationships with God
(a) Ineligibility and inadequacy in the relationship with Godoriginal sin?

R ELIGIOUS SHAME THEOLOGY AND ASSISTANCE

i. The parisha community for the eligible or ineligible?
ii. The longing to be loved
iii. The interconnection of religious and mental insignicance
iv. Shame as coram Deo not as contra Deum
(b) The shame of ones own faith and relationship to God
i. The shame of acknowledging ones faith
ii. The shame of practicing ones faith
iii. The fear of heresy
(c) Ones relationship with God and its change
i. The comprehensive relationship with and image of God
ii. An authoritarian image of God
iii. A frightening God
iv. A strict and demanding God
v. A silent God
vi. A changing image of God
vii. A confused relationship with God; why is it so?
(d) Ethical shame in the relationship with God
(e) The interconnection of religiousness and sexuality
i. Shame of sexuality, sexual feelings and needs
ii. Sacred or evil corporality
iii. A moral or immoral encounter?
7. Conclusions of shame theology
(a) Shame, atonement and the dilemma of forgiveness
i. Shame, guilt and atonement
ii. The problem of atonement theories and shame
iii. The different elds of shame and guilt
iv. The dilemma of shame and guilt
v. Shame and narcissism
(b) Grace and acceptance overcome forgiveness
i. Grace, basic acceptance and containment
ii. Religious shame and the parishs routine
iii. The paradox of shame and grace
iv. Shame-affect and shame-emotion theology
(c) The history of salvation from shame in context
i. Shame in the life of Jesus
ii. The history of the passion as an event of shame
iii. The impact of the passions history on those suffering with shame
iv. From the history of the passion to modern day salvation
Abbreviations
References
Bibliography
Appendices

185

Pastoral care and counselling as congregational care: a

paradigm for caring leadership
Lars-Gran Sundberg

What I intend to do in this paperIntroduction

Preliminary observations
Many acts of caring are carried out by lay and ordained persons in the churches
around the world, including where I live. I am lled with thankfulness. Gods
church is still extending the message of the Gospel of Christ through diaconal
deeds and words. Acknowledging that something inherently good from God is
taking place should not excuse us from our obligation to analyze what is taking
place in order not to go off track. It is our duty to scrutinize concepts, paradigms
and practices to uncover weaknesses and missing parts to be able to more fully
glorify God in and through His Church. Such is, in part, the task of practical
theology.1
This paper of practical theological art begins with an observationa trigger
point for my reections. I notice how people seem to experience the atmosphere
of their visits to local churches differently, whether they are regular attendees or
entering for their rst time. As they talk with friends about it they distinguish
between cold and warm, friendly and welcoming or rather distant and unfriendly.
When I hear such judgements I want to pursue the question a step further: I gather
that these peoples experience of attending church must be more complex than
being due to alert and friendly churchwardens or good cookies at the coffee table
at the end of the service. In my thoughts I make a jumpit seems apparent to me
that the healing dimensions of pastoral care in a church relies on practical matters
more than the quality of the pastoral counsellor or the visitation team.
A few years ago I met two young women in different settings. Both of them
explicitly stated that their respective local church had saved them. One of them
1

Authors arguing this from different positions are Schubert M. Ogden, Doing Theology Today
(Valley Forge: Trinity Press International, 1996), p. 5962; John Swinton and Harriet Mowat,
Practical Theology and Qualitative Research (London: SCM Press, 2006) p. 327.

PASTORAL CARE AND COUNSELLING AS CONGREGATIONAL CARE

187

came from a secular non-Christian background and the other was raised in a transcultural missions context. At the time we met, one was a student and the other was
in the medical profession. As we talked, it become clear that the church they entered as young adults had added to their life more than spiritual salvation, as one
of them expressed it. Though they each carried experiences of disappointments,
brokenness and pain from their past, they both found a safe place where they had
been seen by people, with whom they experienced unconditional lovea place
where they felt accepted with their pain. Prioritizing church over other competing activities was mentioned as a quite important choice. The church community
meant so much for them.
The healing experience of these two women is not a given in all church circumstances. In fact, both of them gave voice to disappointment with a lot of nice
words of love, empty of substance and practice from other church contexts, where
they encountered well organized settings and gatherings with great activities and a
nice surface, but an apparent lack of interest in people as well as the inability to
meet apparent brokenness. This included having been prayed for and/or referred
to the pastor for counselling but thereafter, no comments. As I think further, the
experiences of these women exemplify in one setting signs of good acts of caring in the church as a caring system as opposed to another generating distance
and pain.
In this paper I suggest that the modern paradigm of pastoral care and counselling, linear in its causality, individual in its focus and particularised in strategy
proves in itself inadequate when it comes to what generates and sustains therapeutic capacity for healing in a church community. I would argue that it takes
implementation of strategic multi-level congregational care and counselling, as
understood from a systemic causation of interdependent and interacting entities
contributing to congregational and individual health. Though I do not hold that
all church ministries are pastoral care per se, there is considerable weight to the
argument that all ministerial roles2 should not, from a leaders perspective, be
separated into distinct boxes but, to the contrary, need to be viewed together from
a caring perspective. As seen from an atomistic perspective there are perhaps no
single new things in what I propose. Seen from a strategic congregational system of care, however, there might be a few dimensions that contribute further to
the caring ministry in and of the church.

Compare the traditional distinction between pastoral care and other ministerial roles as found
in William A. Clebsh and Charles R, Jaekle, Pastoral Care in historical Perspective (Northvale:
Jason Aronson, 1964), pp. 34.

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Remarks about methodology

Methods used in the present work are common in the eld of practical theology.
Dened by Swinton and Mowat practical theology is understood as critical, theological reection on the practices of the Church as they interact with the practices
of the world with a view to ensuring faithful participation in the continuing mission of the triune God.3 My deductive process is to be seen as a critical reasoning
about the caring practices in the Church as it is found in modern times as well
as in earlier times, in order to discover missing parts or lacking perspectives in
view of the churchs struggle to be faithful and authentic in its Christian practice,4
particularly in its caring ministry. Social systemic theories, which may be seen as
adjunct tools to the practical theological one, provide critical reection with a bigger and possibly a more complete picture. As the Churchs ministry is understood
in terms of a system of interdependent parts and layers, a theory of congregational
care may be seen as particularly relevant for church leaders attempting to lead a
local church with a view of the bigger picture of a functional ministry of pastoral
care and counselling.

Pastoral care in perspective

Pastoral care for the individual
The paradigm dominating the eld of pastoral care and counselling in modern
times has been and still is one which basically is focused on a pastor and a client,
a one to one relationship.5 The caring relationship is understood and dened from
the two-person encounter, or possibly a family or exceptionally, a small group
meeting for consultation. To a large extent it is a historic habit of directing the care
towards a particular person in need.6 The inux of psychoanalytic, dynamic and
3
4
5

Swinton and Mowat, Practical Theology p. 25.

Ibid., p. 9.
Two fairly typical and widely used denitions of pastoral care, one north American and one
Scandinavian, make this obvious: Pastoral care and counseling involve the utilization by persons in ministry of one-to-one or small group relationships to enable healing empowerment and
growth to take place within individuals and their relationships. Howard Clinebell, Basic Types
of PastoralCare and Counselling (London: SCM Press, 1984), pp. 2526; Pastoral care means
to aid a persons emotional and spiritual growth through a separate personal conversation, based
on the faith of the Christian church and understanding of reality. (my translation), Owe Wikstrm, Den outgrundliga mnniskan: livsfrgor, psykoterapi och sjlavrd (Stockholm: Natur
och kultur, 1999), p. 119.
The understanding that . . . pastoral care is directed to troubled persons and is aimed at supporting and helping them as individual persons is of course an observation with a tainted lens
with which Clebsh and Jaekle read the historical material. On the other hand their overview of
the historic epochs indicate that much effort went in that direction. Clebsh and Jaekle, Pastoral

PASTORAL CARE AND COUNSELLING AS CONGREGATIONAL CARE

189

humanistic psychology in shaping the mainstream caring system of the modern

church cannot be overstated.7 Gerkin points out that this evolvement parallels the
trends in western culture and society towards the individual at the centre.8
Each era is to a large extent the child of its own time, yet colleagues in the eld
have, for some time, been troubled by this as a rather stereotypic psychotherapeutic paradigm, where the counselling process . . . is very individualized and as a
result becomes cut off from the community, the fellowship of believers.9 Most
pastoral work, Stone observes, occurs where people also worship, study, socialize, and work together10 . Other issues, such as gender, power, justice, etc. have
also been nudging for their proper perspective and space in the caring business,11
which challenges the individualist perspective. Particularly relevant for this article is the call for a shift from what can be called an individual focus to a more
communal focus, from the clinical to the congregational and public.12 This is so
because one-sided individual focused pastoral care simply does not do justice to
the whole picture of the church as a caring body, whichjoined and held together
by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does
its work (Eph. 4:16 NIV)
A new or corrected paradigm should not, of course, neglect the care of the individual. The question is, however, what a more tting paradigm should look like.
The trick is to keep the balance between the individual, social and historical dimensions of human life.13 The crux is a question of an overarching paradigm and
where the focus will fall within it. This is particularly vital since it can be questioned whether the clinical paradigm only partially reects the biblical material,
and the caring personalities of the biblical story as well as a historic understand7

8
9

10

11

12

13

Care in historical Perspective, p. 5. See also pp. 1131.

An overview of pastoral care in the 20th century makes this picture obvious. Chapter 2, pp. 53
77 in: Charles V. Gerkin, An Introduction to Pastoral Care (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1998).
Gerkin, An Introduction to Pastoral Care, pp. 4774.
Howard W. Stone, The Congregational Setting of Pastoral Counseling: A Study of Pastoral
Counseling Theorists from 19491999, The Journal of Pastoral Care 2001, Vol 55, No. 2,
p. 187.
Stone, Ibid., p. 181. He argues that pastoral counselling is not as clear-cut as much of the literature depicts. The pastoral encounter is actually more informal, unplanned than the ofce
model, he contends. See also pp. 184, 190, 194.
As described in Nancy J. Ramsay, ed., Pastoral Care and Counseling: Redening the Paradigms
(Nashville: Abingdon, 2004), a supplement volume aimed to update Rodney J. Hunter, gen.
ed., Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1990).
It should be noted that the radical change that Ramsay et al., describes can hardly be seen as
nished but rather as something slowly underway.
Pointed out by Rodney Hunter in his review of the Supplement volume, edited by Nancy
J. Ramsay. Page 81 in Conversations about Pastoral Care and Counseling: Rening the
paradigms by: Doehring, Carrie; Poling, James N.; Hunter, Rodney J.; Snorton, Teresa E.
Source: Journal of Pastoral Theology, 15 no 2 Fall 2005, pp 7288.

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ing of pastoral care.14 Hunters assessment of where we have come so far indicates
that there is not only a question of embracing both communality and individuality.
At stake is also the issue of to what extent the pastoral caring business of helping people is rooted in biblical spirituality: What pastoral theology lacked in the
clinical pastoral paradigm it still lacks, I think, in the public-liberationist pastoral
paradigm, namely a focused attempt to make the religious development of persons and communities its logically primary aim.15 The search for a new caring
model must be rooted in the spiritual heritage of how to become new beings in
Christ, such that we are enabled to live in shalom with God, neighbor, self and
all creation.16 This is basically a question of health and a balanced understanding
of spirituality and sociality. As we continue to look for a new paradigm it seems
particularly important to pay attention to these balancing forces: individuality and
community, as well as spirituality and sociality, being true to the biblical material
and a historical understanding of pastoral care.

Pastoral care for the whole person in its context

Modern, individualized pastoral care has basically operated from a medical understanding of health17 with a focus on resolving problems from the immediacy
of [peoples] lived experience.18 However, historic pastoral care has long been
aware of lifes complexities and would not limit its understanding of health to
the absence of symptoms. The four key words used by Clebsch and Jaekle to
summarize the function of pastoral carehealing, sustaining, guiding and reconciling19 point in the direction of a wider understanding of health, where body and
soul, spiritual and emotional, individual and relational etc. are polarities hard to
separate. Actually they must be kept together in order to do justice to peoples
hardships in relation to God and other humans, aiding them in understanding and
dealing with the challenges of life, as well as managing the questions at their journeys crossroads. A more comprehensive understanding than the medical model
can provide is needed.
14

15
16

17

18
19

Gerkin maintains that clinical and individual guidance is merely grounded in the Wisdom tradition while the priestly and prophetic tradition has largely been related to a more communal
guidance. An Introduction to Pastoral Care, p. 25.
Conversations about Pastoral Care and Counseling, p. 82.
Brita L. Gill-Austern, Rediscovering Hidden Treasures for Pastoral Care, Pastoral Psychology, 1995, Vol. 43, No. 4, p. 235.
The physician focuses on the defect, or dysfunction, within the patient, using a problem-solving
approach . . . The medical model is thus focused on the physical and biologic aspects of specic
diseases and conditions. Mosbys Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. 2009, as cited by The Free
Dictionary by Farlex: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/medical+model.
N.J. Ramsay, Pastoral Care and Counseling, p. 9.
Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective, elaborated in pp. 3266.

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191

John Wilkinsons search in the biblical records for a description of health leads
him to a variety of qualities: well-being, righteousness, soundness, peace, life in
its fullest sense, salvation, to name a few.20 All, however, point towards the overarching concept of shalom. Wilkinson contends that shalom signies totality
and completeness, wholeness and well-being in all spheres of life whether it is
physical, mental and spiritual, or individual, social and national. Shalom he
says, designates at the same time the entirety, the fact of being whole, and he
who is whole.21 Two things are of particular importance here. First, health in this
Hebrew form is holistic by its very nature. It holds together the individual, the social and as a creation of God, spiritual dimensions. Secondly, health as shalom
is at its core relational since it has to do, in an interdependent way, with God,
human beings, the self and creation in general.
An understanding of pastoral care and counselling that harmonize such perspectives must be dened in such a way that the communal and the individual, the
spiritual and the psycho-social are in balance. When a holistic perspective comes
to the fore it challenges pastoral care and counselling not only to have a wide focus but to stay specic enough, not losing its uniqueness in the whole of pastoral
ministry.

Pastoral care through the church as community

Emerging communality in pastoral care and counseling
A more recent body of literature in the area of pastoral care and counselling indicates that a paradigm shift to some extent has occurred, or is about to take place.
The focus tends to lean more towards a communal perspective that includes a
priority for relationality and community; a more interpersonal than intrapsychic
developmental perspective . . . and a goal of mutuality and reciprocity within
communities.22 This change of direction has also meant that attention has been
paid as to how ecclesial communities of care and the importance of cultural and
political contexts, shape peoples lives.23 An observation of this kind brings up
the well-known fact that contexts make a difference in peoples lives, emotionally,
behaviourally and spiritually. In order to more fully understand this web of relationships we are aided by systems theory. Systemically geared thinking teaches
us about the unproductivity of trying to lift an individual out of her context in
20

21

22
23

John Wilkinson, The Bible and Healing: A Medical and Theological Commentary (Edinburgh:
The Handsel Press, 1998), pp. 1025.
Ibid., p. 12. The concept does not change in substance from the Old Testament to the New,
according to Wilkinson, it only changes in emphasis, p. 26.
N.J. Ramsay, Pastoral Care and Counseling, p. 31.
Ibid., p. 11.

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order to treat her and send her back to the same setting, believing in stable results,
unless the individual is made aware, taught and empowered in a renewed way of
living in that context.24 The interconnectedness of parts and the idea that the sum
of parts is greater than the individual parts together, are most basic to understanding systems. The emphasis is on reciprocity, recursion, and shared responsibility.
A and B exist in the context of a relationship in which each inuences the other
and both are equally cause and effect of each others behaviour.25

Emerging communality through congregational health

A strand of literature, close to that of pastoral care, and drawing on some systemic thinking, deals with congregational health from a leaders perspective. Its
focus is on leading the church community as a system and the leaders management of self in leading such an emotional system towards growth.26 Here people
in the local church are viewed like the human self who emerges from reciprocal transactional processes within individuals and between individuals and their
environments27 where symptoms evolve from multiple causation within the social system.28 Leadership and the pastoral response to a particular situation, these
authors contend, need to focus not only the individual but on the system.29 Assistance of this sort will provide the pastoral leadership30 with an ability to see and
manoeuvre wisely in the thick emotional web of relationships, including handling
their own differentiation of self.31 From a pastoral care and counselling perspective, Larry Kent Graham is, with such a system in mind, effectively addressing
issues of power, justice and love for individuals.
24

25

26

27
28
29
30

31

Michael P. Nichols and Richard C Schwartz, Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods, 5th ed.
(Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2001), pp. 7, 8084.
Dorothy Stroh Becvar and Raphael J. Becvar, Family Therapy: A Systemic Integration, 2nd ed.
(Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 1993), p. 9.
Ronald W. Richardson, Creating a Healthier Church: Family Systems Theory, Leadership, and
Congregatioonal Life (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1996), particularly pp. 2440; Larry Kent
Graham, Care of Persons, Care of Worlds: Psychosystems Approach to Pastoral Care and Counseling (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1992), particularly in chapter 3 and 4.
Graham, Care of Persons, p. 78.
Ibid., p. 98.
Ibid, p. 98; Richardson, Creating a Healthier Church p. 3136.
In the words pastoral leadership I include lay leaders as well as paid staff in different positions
of leadership.
Other examples that take a similar perspective are: Charles H. Crossgrove and Dennis Hateld,
Church Conict: The Hidden Systems Behind the Fights (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1994);
Gilbert R. Rendle, Leading Change in the Congregation: Spiritual and Organizational Tools for
Leaders (The Alban Institute, 1998); Stevens Paul. R. and Collins, Phil, The Equipping Pastor
A Systems Approach to Congregational Leadership (Bethesda: The Alban Institute, 1993).

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193

Two sides of pastoral care have been exposed so far: on the one hand the caring
and counselling that mostly focus on the individual, a family or occasionally on a
small group interacting within a context, and on the other hand, on the church as
a communal web. When systemic interrelatedness is understood, eyes are opened
to acknowledge and appreciate dynamic synergetic effects. This is an important
truth when leading a church and both trying to look at the congregation as a whole
and attending to an individual person.

Towards the integration of different pieces

There seems to be still more to discover in this systemic landscape with another
dimension of pastoral care and counselling not fully covered by the previous dimensions. What I have in mind I will call congregational care, as an integrative
task for caregivers, an endeavour including the overarching structures as well as
caring for the individuals yet not missing a proactive pastoral care perspective on
the work of keeping people in spiritual and emotional health.
I will provide a tentative denition of pastoral care and counselling showing
the direction we are about to go:
Pastoral care and counselling is a process endeavour in and through the local community of God, assisting the community as a whole and its individualsin-relationship in a maturing process directed towards the likeness of Christ and
partaking in the shalom of God.
Four things should be noted here:
1. Pastoral care should be understood as a caring process in, for and through the
Christian church community, which is itself a part of the wider social community. Since the existence of the church is a work of God, pastoral care is
by denition a holistic churchly task, rooted in spirituality and theology and
cannot be divorced from the faith and life of this community to be true to its
calling.
2. The caring and counselling process is rst and foremost about people, compared to structures in and of themselves, and touches individuals in and through
the community of believers. Caring is to be understood as reciprocal in that
health emanates from the community in which the individual is planted and
caring for the individual contributes to the health of community.
3. Pastoral care is thought of as a process in which the biblical concept of shalom
exists in a creative tension between the kingdom of God present in part and
eschatologically fully realized.
4. Pastoral care is focused on growth as a holistic understanding of health. It
acknowledges that all human dimensions and needs are included when understanding a person to be created for God and in the image of God (Gen. 1:26;
Col. 3:10).

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Held together, these four dimensions of pastoral care and counselling, which can
enrich people in their dynamic walks in life towards the imago Christi, and challenge us to discover ways of caring that enable people to be with and for God
and with and for others in the same ways scripture reveals God as being with and
for humanity.32 We will now turn to what such a paradigm of pastoral care and
counselling could look like.

Congregational carea paradigm proposal

Pastoral care through the fact of being church
A congregational care paradigm aims at infusing pastoral care in all dimensions of congregational life. Since the aim is to maintain a holistic view of health,
spirituality and sociality can not be contrary to each other. The collective and
the individual should both be held in view as well. In order to implement a full
understanding of congregational care, such care must involve the congregational
leadershipnot just as an item in the budget or as an afrmation of its caring leadership but as active involvement in order to co-envision and co-lead its actualization. Equally important and necessary is the presence of people gifted and trained
in pastoral care and counselling per sepeople whose eyes see with the world view
of pastoral work and hearts burn with the passion of pastoral work. Structural and
executive leadership and the actual carers need to work hand in hand, but from
different perspectives.
When a caring perspective is envisioned for the church it is important that
the whole ministry does not become pastoral care and counselling. The church
is about partaking in Gods missionthat is witnessing about Gods dealings in
the world, through sharing the good news of Christ in words and deeds.33 It is
within that design pastoral care should exist. Congregational care thus is to
be envisioned and actualized at the intersection of the churchs interconnecting
callings34 to be in and for the world,
communicating the Gospel of Jesus Christ faithfully;
facilitating spiritual growth and integrity in following Jesus Christ in and
through the power of the Holy Spirit, and
32

33

34

John Swinton, From Bedlam to Shalom: Towards a Practical Theology of Human Nature, Interpersonal Relationships, and Mental Health Care (New York: Peter Lang), 2000, p. 30.
Andrew Kirk, Vad r mission? En teologiska underskning (What is Mission: Theological Explorations) (rebro: Libris, 2003), p. 41.
Larry Graham notes that Seward Hiltner saw the interconnections between communicating,
organizing and shepherding functions of ministry as he located the function of caring within a
larger view of ministry. He did not, however fully spell out what he meant. Note 25, p. 246.

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facilitating caring and counselling through relevant structures in and through

the community of Gods people.
Within the previously stated tentative denition of pastoral care and counselling,
this rst and foremost means to take seriously the local church as a purposeful35
or ethical36 community of Gods Spirit in the world. If the ne line is drawn
between proclaiming and serving, the work of pastoral care and counselling is not
evangelization per se. Yet there is participation in communication of the gospel
by facilitating health through congregational structures, empowering people with
love and friendship as well as attending to peoples complex and interconnected
spiritual and emotional obstacles. While it is understood that pastoral care and
counselling is not pastoral education or pastoral formation per se it is part of the
facilitation: removal of blockages and support for empowering processes in the
churchs life towards spiritual growth. It is understood that when people are engaged in pastoral care and counselling, they are not just meeting with individuals,
couples, families, groups for consultations but they are part of a larger strategic
and creative work in the churchs mission, which is Gods mission. This pastoral
work is attending to congregational work at large, facilitating characteristics of
shalomic health.

Four dimensions of congregational care

A congregational care paradigm is proposed in four dimensions. This paradigm
addresses church leaders handling of structures, as well as attending to actual
individual hurts. It is hoped that the following proposal will direct us towards
recovering historical dimensions of pastoral care; advance our understanding and
balance of individuality in relationship as the focus within the caring system of
the local church is redirected; and point to a more comprehensive view of care in
the church.
Structural and strategic interventions
Interventions that are structural in nature focus on the very weave, the fabric and
texture of the human web. They relate to people, their values, rituals and patterns
35

36

Acknowledging that the church is a community living in the tension between where people
experience unconditional acceptance and where they are challenged towards repentance and
moving towards maturity in the daily following of Jesus Christ in a community of believers.
Cf. Practical and Pastoral Theology by D.J. Tidball, in Atkinson, David J. and David H. Field
eds., New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology. (Leicester: Inter-Varsity Press,
1995), pp. 4647.
Al Dueck points out that the church is a people called to covenant righteousness with given
guidelines for characterone that differs radically from surrounding cultures. Al Dueck, Ethical Contexts of Healing: Peoplehood and Righteousness, in Pastoral Psychology vol. 35 (4),
Summer 1987, p. 243.

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of interaction with one another. According to Fisher, et al., spiritual health is a

dynamic state of being as people interrelate between the personal, communal,
environmental and transcendental domains.37 Sufce it to say that personal values
are insufcient as context for healing . . . but as Dueck argues, a culture becomes
a healing resource when as a culture it (a) creates a coherent moral universe of
discourse, (b) establishes a practical and just ethic, and (c) trains our communal
sensibilities.38
Two different yet complementary concepts have been proposed to be fundamental threats to or degenerating forces in a culture. Gill-Austern suggests neurotic or existential anxiety as a central force.39 My own preliminary interpretation
and adaptation of Balswick and Balswicks assessment of a hurting family system
to a hurting congregational system suggest that self- centered conditional love
creates relational hurt.40 Since all people carry the mixing of sin and goodness,
the biblical cure lies in an invitation to God and partake in the Kingdom of God
through Jesus Christ in the New Covenant41 which opens humans for a just ethic
as a response to the grace of God (Titus, 2:11).
Moving a local church web in the direction of a just ethic demands leadership
which, understanding the premises of health, leads and organizes42 with vision
and values immersed in love, justice, hope and faith.43 Sensitive leaders are wise
enough to look for input from gifted pastoral carers willing to discuss and discern
pathways, prepare decisions and plan budget accordingly. In the context of a congregational care concept, a structural and strategic intervention assumes conscious
and up front discussions in strategy meetings and a deliberateness in the over all
pastoral planning. It has to be implemented through an intentional creative process to infuse vision and values, that actually guide the congregation in their day
to day living. It is of particular value, and even a duty, for pastoral carers to see
their call to be spokespersons before the church leadership, to share what they see
and experience in terms of the church and its shortcomings as a caring community.
37

38
39
40

41
42

43

John W. Fisher, Leslie J. Francis and Peter Johnson, Assessing Spiritual Health via Four Domains of Spiritual Wellbeing: The SH4DI Pastoral Psychology 2000, Vol. 49, No. 2., p. 135
Dueck, Ethical Contexts of Healing pp. 245246.
Rediscovering Hidden Treasures, p. 235.
My interpretation and extrapolation of their scheme of hurting family system or hurting family
behaviour applied to the church as a family of families. Compare Jack O. Balswick and Judith
K. Balswick, The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home (Grand Rapids:
Baker, 2007), chapter 1.
, Ethical Contexts of Healing, pp. 242245.
R. Paul Stevens point out that a pastor cannot change a church but only change himself or
herself and help the church change herself, in Analogy of Homology? An Investigation of
the Congruency of Systems Theory and Biblical Theology in Pastoral Leadership Journal of
Psychology and Theology, 1994, Vol. 22, No. 3, p. 179.
Fisher, et al., p. 135.

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The importance of this co-leadership is all the greater since creating a Shalomic
culture is a difcult long ranging process. And the pastoral care and counselling
that takes place in the board room as well as among the operational leadership,
while carefully observing questions of clear boundaries, promoting contextual integrity and functional structures,44 are greatly helped by the interaction between
different gifting among leadership.
Intervention through empowering
A second dimension to the congregational paradigm where leadership makes a
difference in the caring process is the focus on empowering people. In the biblical world the control of the law kills but the generosity of Gods grace motivates. Family dynamics show the same pattern of control vs. empowering support.
Newer strategies like solution focused therapy are more interested in supporting
good behaviours that work than focusing on changing bad ones.45 Many times
Christians become neurotically obsessed with freeing themselves of sinful lusts
and patterns instead of concentrating on what is good and right (cf. Phil. 4:8).
The empowering function of congregational carers, including that of passionate overarching church leadership, cannot be overstated. This domain falls near the
structural, but the strategic dimensions includes raising peoples consciousness of
Gods call on their lives, and contributing to their ability to accomplishing that
call. It includes the equipping of intermediary leaders in congregational subsystems, for immediate as well as a long-lasting contribution towards peoples spiritual and emotional growth. It certainly includes empowering lay carers, as well
as different kinds of small group leaders for their work in the church as a functional extended family. At the heart of this ministry is the facilitation of people
networking, making friends and sharing with one another in times of weakness as
well as strength. In a community where people feel loved and accepted and experience empowerment for their living and service for the Lord, so the logic goes,
they will not only feel appreciated but open up their lives and offer their service
for others in the system.
Another part of the empowering dimension of congregational care is preventive contributions. In a way, all the church work could be understood as preventive
in that it is about supporting a healthy maturing life. Gill-Austern points to the
core of what the church is all about; worship of God in prayer, liturgy, preaching, teaching and meditation, etc., as the foundation thread in the healing web of
44
45

Graham, Care of Persons, Care of Worlds, p. 205220

Bill OHanlon, Gr en sak annorlunda: Tio enkla stt att frndra ditt liv [Do one thing different. And other uncommonly sensible solutions to lifes persistent problems] (Stockholm: Natur
och Kultur, 2003), pp. 1517, 56.

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Christian community.46 From a pastoral leaders perspective, this means that corporate spirituality may provide vision and energy, ultimately through the presence
of Christs Spirit, for a healthy Kingdom life. It is a preventive medicine provided when team-leaders are coached to be good facilitators and spiritual leaders.
Courses and nurturing events that enhance spiritual life, provide good relational
skills, offer positive contexts for friendship building, create spiritual retreats, help
maintain functional marriage and family relationships, etc. all provide a person
with life-skills that are benecial, particularly for people with difcult circumstances in life.47 All in all this empowering aids and encourages people in leading
balanced and Christ-honouring lives.48
Intervention through proactive action
The third dimension of congregational care advances one more step from the
structural and indirect towards the more direct situational. We are also moving
in the direction from the more general leadership centered towards the more specic pastoral care and counselling centered.
Attention to the human family and its life cycle processes49 in the context of
the church as a family of families, provides the next point of intervention in this
paradigm for pastoral leadership. Awareness of pertinent junctures in the family
life, where people in relationship are challenged, may be an open window for constructive ministry. People in churches have many natural points of contact where
they may be strengthened by assistance, supported with resources, and relieved
from strain and so they may allow Gods presence to minister in their situation.
Historically, medieval sacramental healingfrom infant baptism to extreme
unction at death, as described by Clebsch and Jaekle50 correspond to this line of
thought. In congregational life, child dedication, baptisms, conrmations, marriage ceremonies and other festive events, as well as funerals and situations of
46
47

48

49

50

Rediscovering Hidden Treasures for Pastoral Care, pp. 239241.

Although a healthy life in Christian theological perspective does not necessarily equals a
pain free life it is empirically demonstrated that religious dimensions like closeness to God,
spiritual support etc. are tied to physical and mental health. See Peter C. Hill and Kenneth
I Pergament, Advances in Conceptualization and Measurement of Religion and Spirituality:
Implications for Physical and Mental Health Research American Psychologist, 2003, Vol. 58,
No. 1, pp. 7172.
See particularly chapter 2 and 3 in: Margaret Zipse Kornfeld. Cultivating Wholeness: A Guide
to Care and Counseling in Faith Communities. New York: Continuum, 1998, p. 1566.
For one common example, widely used see: Betty Carter and Monica McGoldrick, eds., The
Changing Family Life Cycle: A Framework for Family Therapy 2nd edition (Boston: Allyn and
Bacon, 1989). For a new updated version with somewhat different perspectives see Monica
McGoldrick, Betty Carter and Nydia Garcia-Preto, eds., The Expanded Family Life Cycle: Individual, Family and Social Perspectives 4th edition (Pearson Education, 2010).
Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective, pp. 2326.

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tragedy are situations for care.51 Naturally the pastoral presence in a ministry
of availability and introduction52 comes to the fore in the regular life of the faith
community through gatherings in the church, including the Lords Supper, but also
around the table in homes, at work places or in sports arenas.53 This kind of ministry in celebration and grief, during emotionally and spiritually loaded situations
requires the kind of elasticity54 where we minister with timing, understanding
Gods presence and initiative as well as being pastoral leaders who may assist in
bridging the individuals private sphere with the churchs social networking and
public sphere.55 If these life events are encountered with presence, clarity and skill
a multiplying enrichment can grow within the web of relationship relieving pain,
renewing faith and trust, restoring hope and increasing joy.
Interventions through pastoral care of individual persons in relationship
The last of the four dimensions of congregational care centres in on what usually
is discussed in the literature on care and counselling, the caring of the individual
in relationship. Not much will be said about this since a lot has already been written about it and it is mostly common ground for the readers of this article. On the
other hand something needs to be said because it is the authors understanding that
pastoral care and counselling is too rarely incorporated into the church as a community of God. By this I mean that more specialized pastoral care and counselling
are tied to and handled in separate institutions like hospitals and penitentiaries and
such, but also by entrepreneurial type organizations or individuals in private practice, more or less related to the church.56 Care in the church is more of visitation
and the pastors or deacons individual counselling. As Stone notes, the setting
makes a difference.57 Again, this is why church leadership, and their vision of care
and counselling, makes a difference. Leading with an understanding of care and
counselling and their integrative function within the congregational weave makes
51

52

53

54

55
56

57

As an example Kari and Atle Dyregrov underline the importance of support from peoples social
networks in crisis and experiences of sudden deaths. Det sociala ntverkets std vid pltsligt
ddsfallnr livet mste g vidare (Lund: Studentlitteratur, 2008).
John Patton, Pastoral Care in Context: An Introduction to Pastoral Care (Louisvill: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1993), pp. 213234.
R. Paul Stevens describes the kind of spirituality where one can expect to be encountered by God
in all kinds of circumstances and all spheres of life. Down-to-Earth Spirituality: Encountering
God in the Ordinary Boring Stuff of Life (Downers Grove: Inter Varsity Press, 2003).
I here borrow Gill-Austerns term and use it quite freely. Rediscovering Hidden Treasures for
Pastoral Care, p. 241.
Ibid., p, 241 and p. 247.
Here I particularly speak for the Swedish situation. A short and not very detailed review of this
situation is written by Gran Bergstrand in Berit Okkenhaug, Sjlavrden grundbok (rebro:
Libris, 2004), pp. 4044.
The Congregational Setting of Pastoral Counseling , p. 193, using the words of Charles Kemp.

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space for such a ministry in a relevant and proportional manner. Actually, caring
ministry in the local church can not be moulded in only one form. It must take
shape in each and every particular context in order to serve its people properly.
Where the main focus lies may be as different from church to church as the variation in needs of a person over the course of life. Sometimes it is most meaningful
and relevant for people to be part of a seminar focusing on particular needs, eg.
handling anxiety or grief. At other times pastoral care of individuals is called for,
meeting with people in order to assist them in networking with one another in the
community or assisting a group of people taking steps towards reconciliation and
healing. Consulting with families and couples and individuals in relationships for
care and counselling is certainly part of the caring and counselling system of the
church and at times the need arises for referral to specialized recourses. But as a
healing agent, the pastoral carer and counsellor is, in Duecks words, to be known
as a covenant-maker and a reconciler.58

Summary and Conclusions

The imbalance of the modern caring perspective challenges us to seek new
paradigms which better correspond to a more biblically and theologically
grounded praxis of care in particular historical situation of the Christian community. Congregational pastoral care and counselling is understood as maintaining
concern with the structural as well as the individual for holistic health, based in
Gods shalom. The whole of the pastoral ministry of care and counselling in the
local church is revealed as a bigger garden than that of caring for the individual. In this paper it has been suggested that pastoral care and counselling should
aim for congregational care that is taking shape in four dimensions, particularly
from a leadership point of view. In adopting such a perspective it has been shown
that pastoral care and counselling in a congregational paradigm:
helps everyone in a system contribute to each other and not rely only on professional carers.
at its best maintains the balance between the communal and the individual and
allows the issues of emotional and spiritual health suffuse each the other.
attends to structures as well as individual needs, and thoroughly involves the
leadership as carers as well as utilizing gifted and trained persons in attending
to particular hurts in peoples lives.
assumes that structural health promotes individual health and that individual
involvement, active participation and action towards spiritually and emotionally
functional life enriches people in the system.
58

Al Dueck, Ethical Contexts of Healing: Character and Ritual Pastoral Psychology, 1987, Vol.
36 (2), pp. 7778.

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201

A paradigm for pastoral care and counselling as previously outlined shifts the focus from being stuck in a re-ghting type of care towards a more preventive
and holistic type of care. It is assumed that a functional system provides sustenance and structure for individual health. The paradigm is thoroughly spiritual in
its nature as it is aiming for kingdom life and Gods shalom, yet it is at the core
social since people are created to be fully human in growing towards the image
of Christ. It is a communal perspective giving space for individuals in relationship. This is a visionary paradigm for a community where faith is combined with
action, the individual is cared for in the context of community, the sacred is coexistent with the secular, and ones inner experience must be in dynamic relationship
with ones outer reality.59

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The signicance of the loss of a child for the formation of

parents spirituality: spiritual, mental, and social coping
processes
Harri Koskela

Introduction
The death of a child has been recognized as one of the most stressful life events
that individuals can experience. The loss of a child is an incomprehensible,
tremendous and devastating experience.1 Parental grief has been described as the
most intense and overwhelming of all griefs.2 The death of a child has many kinds
of effects on parents spirituality. It challenges parents worldview and conception of life and furthermore, often leads to an existential crisis and to a search for
meaning in life.3 The loss also impinges on family equilibrium and social relationships.4

Aim, data, and methodology

The general aim of my research was to examine the signicance of the loss of a
child for parents spirituality. A more specic purpose was to also explore parents
mental, spiritual, and social recovery processes and their ways of coping with the
loss. An important task was to give bereaved parents a voice. With its qualitative
research design, the study belongs to the elds of practical theology and pastoral psychology. On account of the nature of the phenomenon, the approach was
hermeneutic-phenomenological. The data was obtained in autumn 2003 by asking
bereaved persons to describe their experiences in writing. The ultimate data comprised 64 texts from bereaved parents. In these texts, the participants discussed 75
1

2
3

Aho 2009, 93; Arnold & Gemma 2008, 658; Erjanti & Paunonen-Ilmonen 2004, 102; Brotherson & Soderquist 2002, 55, 88; Laakso 2000, 13, 15.
Davies 2004, 506; Rando 1986, 6.
Dyregrov & Dyregrov 2008, 43; Marrone 1999, 501502; Wheeler 2001, 5152; Klass 1999,
25; Lindqvist 1999, 167; Visnen 1996, 121122; 1999, 61.
Worden 2010, 222223; Siltala 1987, 233; Balk 1999, 486.

T HE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE LOSS OF A CHILD

205

child losses. The analysis was based on the Grounded Theory and the narrative
analysis methods.

Concept of spirituality
First, it is necessary to dene the term spirituality. The term is widely used, although it is a uid and complex concept. Spirituality is used in a context-bound
and subjective way.5 In my doctoral study, I used the concept of spirituality in
a broad meaning. The dimensions of spirituality are as follows: existential questions; nding the purpose and meaning of life; social relationships; the emotions,
values, and identity of a person; relationship with God; the concept of God; the
spiritual life of an individual, and belief. The last four comprise essential elements
of Christian spirituality (gure 1).

Figure 1. Relationship between spirituality and Christianity. Content of spirituality and Christian
spirituality

Results
The parents texts were analysed by means of two analytical methods. In the rst
one, the empirical data was rst divided into 16 subcategories on the basis of an
inductive content-based analysis. Next, two main categories and then, an ultimate
core category were formed out of these subcategories. Finally, a substantive theory
of the signicance of the loss of a child for the formation of parents spirituality
was advanced. From the parents stories, six type narratives were constructed by
5

Sheldrake 2007, 1; Carrette & King 2005, 13; Swinton 2001, 12.

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H ARRI KOSKELA

means of a narrative analysis. The construction of the type narratives was carried out from the perspective of the development of the parents relationship with
God. I have named these types as follows: (1) the story of a deepened relationship
with God, (2) the story of a discovered relationship with God, (3) the story of an
unchanged relationship with God, (4) the story of a temporary crisis in the relationship with God, (5) the story of a contradictory relationship with God, and (6)
the story of a broken relationship with God.
This paper is a detailed discussion of the eight subcategories of the parents
coping processes that I found in my analysis. These categories were the most
relevant from the perspective of the parents mental, spiritual, and social recovery
processes. The parents in my study made use of many of these coping processes.
The rst category was the question why. The parents often asked Why is this
happening to me?, Why is this happening to my family? or Why was it my
child? The why question was like a protest, a cry of pain, or an expression of a
sense of confusion. Several parents put the question to God. During the recovery
process, the question often changed to what for.6
The second category was named the signicance of dreams and supernatural
phenomena. Many parents reported on the occurrence of such phenomena during their coping process. As supernatural phenomena, they mentioned supernatural encounters with their departed child, supernatural thoughts and feelings, and
prophecies. They often felt that the dreams and the phenomena were messages
from God. The dreams and the supernatural phenomena helped them to accept
what had happened. Thus they had a positive effect on their recovery process.
They suggested to the bereaved parents that the death of their child was not a
completely random incident.7
Another signicant issue in the coping process was nding a purpose and
meaning for the loss of the child. That was my third category. Some parents associated the meaning of the loss with their personal and spiritual growth. Those parents who found a purpose or meaning were better able to accept the loss, integrate
the death to their lives, and orient themselves to the future. For several parents,
nding the purpose was connected to their relationship with God. This shows that
the Christian notion of there being a purpose for each persons life could be an
important resource in the recovery. Some parents were unable to nd a meaning
for the loss, and that brought fear and a sense of uncertainty and insecurity to their
lives.8
Spiritual processes as a resource for parents coping formed the fourth category. As such resources contributing to the recovery process, the parents reported
6
7
8

Koskela 2011, 229231.

Koskela 2011, 232238.
Koskela 2011, 238246.

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207

private and communal religious practices. They mentioned praying, attending services and spiritual events; songs and hymns; and reading the Bible and other spiritual literature. The most common means of coping was praying. Some parents
reported that their praying life was activated. Some wrote that their church attendance increased. Some also described how they had begun to read the Bible,
which had previously been distant and unfamiliar to them. They found certain
Bible verses comforting and heart-giving.9
The fth category was named support from family, friends, and professionals.
The most important forms of social support came from the spouse, the children,
and the parents. The parents also received support from a sister, a grandchild,
a friend, the hospital chaplain, a therapist, a deacon, a workmate, and a griefcounselling group. However, they also reported having experienced problems in
receiving social support, especially from clergymen and friends.10
The sixth category was putting ones trust in God in ones grief. From the
perspective of Christian spirituality, faith was an important factor in the parents
recovery. Several parents wrote that they had sought and experienced Gods comforting and care. They described how they had experienced the care, protection,
help, and comfort coming from God and how they had felt the presence of God.11
Some parents, however, felt that God had treated them unjustly. So the seventh
category was named questioning the justice of God. The death of a child, especially if combined with other signicant losses, destroyed the parents belief in the
righteousness of God. Those parents who had lost more than one beloved one felt
that God was unjust. In contrast, some parents believed that God was righteous
despite their loss of the child.12
The birth of a new baby was the eighth and last category. It was interesting to
note that in my data the birth of a new baby was signicant for the parents relationship with God. Some parents thought that the new child was a gift, a comfort,
or a blessing from God and felt grateful to God for it. Though the grief did not
disappear, the birth of a new baby nevertheless helped in the recovery process. It
is important to realise that the new child cannot replace the deceased child or take
on his or her identity.13

9
10
11
12
13

Koskela 2011, 246250.

Koskela 2011, 250261.
Koskela 2011, 261263.
Koskela 2011, 264267.
Koskela 2011, 267269.

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Conclusions
The results show that the signicance of the loss of a child for the formation
of parents spirituality is quite holistic and long-lasting. The loss often affects
the bereaved parents spiritual, psychological, and social domains simultaneously.
These effects accumulate and often also induce changes in the parents identities
and relationships with other people and with God. It is important to bear in mind
that these three dimensions of the individual interact with each other.
My study indicates that issues relating to emotions, spiritual concerns and social relationships had signicance for grieving parents. The parents used many
kind of mental, spiritual, and social recovery processes. For many of them, spiritual elements seem to play an important role in the coping process. When offering
support to parents who have lost their child, one should therefore pay attention
to spiritual themes and dimensions. If professional helpers are unprepared to deal
with spiritual questions, the recovery processes of bereaved parents may be hampered. Professionals therefore need more knowledge of the spiritual issues and
existential questions related to the loss of a child. They also need to be clearer
on how to deal with grieving parents with Christian convictions and beliefs. Appropriate and relevant support enables bereaved parents to cope with the loss of a
child mentally, spiritually, and socially.

References
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2009, Fathers Experience of Social Support After the Death of a Child. American
Journal of Mens Health 3. 93103.
Arnold, Joan & Gemma, Penelope Bushman
2008, The Continuing Process of Parental Grief. Death Studies 32. 658673.
Balk, David E.
1999, Bereavement and Spiritual Change. Death Studies 23. 485493.
Brotherson, Sean E. & Soderquist, Jean
2002, Coping with a Childs Death: Spiritual Issues and Therapeutic Implications.
Journal of Family Psychotherapy. 5386.
Carrette, Jeremy & King, Richard
2005, Selling Spirituality: The Silent Takeover of Religion. London & New York:
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Davies, Ruth
2004, New understanding of parental grief: literature review. Journal of Advanced
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Dyregrov, Kari & Dyregrov, Atle
2008, Effective grief and bereavement support: the role of family, friends, colleagues,
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Erjanti, Helena
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1999, The Spiritual Lives of Bereaved Parents. Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.
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spiritua-liteetin muotoutumisessa. Diss. Tampere: Kirkon tutkimuskeskuksen julkaisuja 114.
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2000, idin suru alle seitsenvuotiaan lapsen kuoleman jlkeen. Acta Universitatis
Tamperensis 724. Diss. Tampere.
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1999, Dying, Mourning, and Spirituality: A Psychological Perspective. Death Studies
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1986, Parental Loss of a Child. Champaign, Illinois: Research Press Company.
Sheldrake, Philip
2007, A Brief History of Spirituality. Malden, MA: Blackwell.
Siltala, Pirkko
1987, Kuolevan omaiset.Suomalainen kuolema. Toim. Kalle Achte, Pirkko Lahti,
Laura Rouhunkoski. Helsinki: Yliopistopaino. 218235.
Swinton, John
2001, Spirituality and mental health care: rediscovering a forgotten dimensions.
London and Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Visnen, Leena
1996, Family grief and recovery process when a baby dies. Diss. Acta Universitas
Ouluensis D Medica 398. Oulu.
1999, Lapsen menetys: perheen suru ja toipuminen. Helsinki: Kirjapaja.
Wheeler, Inese
2001, Parental Bereavement: the Crisis of Meaning. Death Studies 25. 5166.
Worden, J. William
2010, Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: a Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Hove: Routledge.

Pastoral-Spiritual Care, Counselling, & Advocacy with

and for those Less Able
John C. Carr

Abstract:
Grounded in his experience of co-parenting his son who is less able; in his advocacy work on behalf of his son; in his personal and professional relationships with
other persons less able; and in his broad experience as a psychiatric hospital chaplain, pastoral counsellor, parish minister, and pastoral educatorthe author points
to several issues in the care, counselling and advocacy needs of persons less able.
The authors intent is as follows:
1. To sensitize readers to the perspective and needs of those less able
2. To explore some of the intrapsychic, systemic, and spiritual issues facing persons less able and their families
3. To foster integration of the therapeutic and advocacy functions in pastoral/spiritual care and counselling with persons who are less able and their
families

The Authors Perspective

The authors personal spirituality and theological perspective is grounded in at
least the following:
a) A relational Christology (John Pattons relational humanness) which focuses more on the way in which Jesus embodied divinity in his way of being
with Gods peoplethan on divinity itself;
b) An understanding of the human condition as grounded much more in original
blessing (Matthew Fox) by a loving God than in original sin; and thus
c) An anthropology that is hopeful about human potential for participation in
the tasks of justice-making, care of persons, and care of the earth;
d) A sense of the pervasive Presence of God in persons (the imago dei)
whether they have that sense or not, and in the personal and bio-mechanical
systems which operate in the Cosmos;

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211

e) A belief that human community/koinoniagrounded in a commitment to love

and serviceis an essential element in the living out of Christian spirituality;
f) A belief that the human story expresses the Divine story and that human
understanding of the meaning of the Divine story is an unfolding process
(For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I
know only in part; then I will know fully even as I have been fully known.I
Corinthians 13:12 NRSV); and
g) A belief that therapy is a spiritual practicenot just a xing of human
problemsrather facilitation of a movement towards what is characterized as
shalom in the Judeo-Christian traditionshalom that is both internal and
environmental.

The Situation of Persons Less Able

The author has lived and/or travelled extensively in North America (his home
base), Europe, Australia & New Zealand, and SE Asia. In all of those cultures,
persons who are less able are regarded as non-personseither completely or almost
so.
Some nations have nally begun to enshrine the rights of less able persons in
constitutions and in legislation. There are, increasingly in North America and in
other cultural contexts, programs intended to improve and normalize the situation
of persons less able. Sometimes those programs have been designed with input
from those they are intended to serve and their familiesbut often that has not
been the case.
Moreover, the legislation which is in place and the programs which are provided often do not really reect core values of the government in power or of the
civil service which implements government policy. That is, those policies have
been put in place as a matter of political expediencyto create the appearance of
care for persons when the prevailing political philosophy/ideology really does not
include care of persons as a core value. A recent comment by a senior civil servant in the Canadian province in which the author lives illustrates this. He said:
Why should we provide educational support for persons with autism? They will
never contribute anything to the economy.
It is also important not to excuse the behaviour of religious institutions so
far as their treatment of those less able is concerned. Frequently, when making
a decision about what kind of religious institution to build or where to set up
a counselling practice, or what kind of building a pastoral counselling centre or
educational facility should be located in, scant attention is paid to the accessibility
needs of those less able. Very little attention is paid to the fact that there are some

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persons in our society for whom climbing stairs poses a major challenge or makes
access impossible.
Here are two examples.
1. The author was part of a decision-making process about a new building which
had been acquired for a counselling centre. The centre leadership had recently
been sensitized to the issue of access because the author was doing therapy with
a person who was paralyzed from the neck down and was unable to use arms or
legs (notice that the term quadriplegic was avoidedlabeling is another way
that we convert persons into non-persons). In the existing two-storey building,
fortunately, there was one room at ground level (with no internal steps to navigate) that could be used for therapy. Initially, the plan was to use the loading
dock at the back of the building for wheelchair access to the ground oor because there were several steps up to the ground oor level at the front entrance.
After the author pointed out the inequity of this approach, the plan was changed
and the front entrance was re-designed, using a ramp, so that all could enter by
the front door.
2. The small college where the author is Associate Faculty has only recently created an entrance which makes the lower of its three oors accessible to all. The
building was built in the 1950s and was not accessible to persons with mobility
challenges. The front entrance was at the mezzanine between the lowest level
and the second level, where most of the ofces were located. Social events
and some classes are now held on the lower leveland the top level is mostly
classrooms.
During the early 1980s through the early 1990s, when the colleges Academic
Deans wife came to the college (she had MS), the Dean had to carry her up
and down stairs on his back. The small community which supports the college
raised an amazing amount of money in an attempt to make the building totally accessible, but government and foundation matching grants were just not
available for an elevator system. The only option available was to redesign the
lower oor and create non-elevated ground level accessincluding creation of
a dropoff for Disabled Adults Transportation System vehicles. It is a compromise, and not one that anyone is happy with, but it was the best that could
be done given the available nancial resources.
There are many ways that we create barriers which exclude persons less able.
However, perhaps this sufces by way of making the point that, when we are
working therapeutically with persons less able, individually or as members of
families (if they are even able to get to see us), we are working with deeply
ingrained experiences of marginalization, depersonalization, and negation. Pastoral/Spiritual caregivers have a responsibility not to participate in that kind of

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destruction of personhoodand, of course, a responsibility to address it in our caring and healing work.

Personal History
Here is some of the authors relevant personal history.
The authors ten years younger cousin was born in the late 1940s with a chromosomal abnormality which resulted in severe developmental challenges. His parents were working class persons who lived in a large USA city suburb and there
were absolutely no resources available for families such as theirs. Much attention
had been given, and rightly so, to the pervasive institutionalized racism of that
particular city in the middle and later decades of the 20th century. Very little attention had been paid to the institutionalized injustice which resulted in ignoring
the plight of families such as the authors aunt and uncle and cousin.
Fortunately for the authors cousin, and for many persons like him and their
families in Greater Detroit, the authors aunt was not the kind of person who
would lie down and let the tanks of injustice roll over her. The authors aunt was
the second female child born in a large farm family (the authors mother was
older than her by a couple of years). She was used to taking charge. She organized fundraising events. She organized people to set up specialized schools and
sheltered workshops and lobbied for government funding.
The authors family visited back and forth with his aunt and her family frequently. Spending time with her, and hearing her stories of what she was doing in
their community, was the authors training for the birth of his son in 1968. Also,
as a congregational minister at the time of his sons birth, the author had come
to know and love two young girls in the congregation who were developmentally
challenged, and to admire the way their families coped.
A relatively minor physiological incident during the authors sons gestation,
or perhaps during his birth, caused a neurological decit and that resulted in signicant developmental challenges. During a two years residency in New Jersey in
the early 1970s, the authors son benetted greatly from assessment, physiotherapy, and speech therapy resourcesand then, for the next three years, his potential
was maximized by a new preschool intervention program in Evanston, Illinois and
a pioneering school for children with developmental challenges in nearby Niles
Township.
When the author and his family arrived in Edmonton in 1975, they discovered
that people like his aunt had been at work doing the same sorts of things which his
aunt had done. However, the author and his spouse had to be assertive in seeking
out resources for their son. It was and is an ongoing battle, and programs and
resources are constantly being eroded.

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The author and his spouse are both professional persons with more knowledge
than the average couple about the way political systems work and the author has a
family history of assertive advocacy. They are able to advocate strongly for their
sons needs and empower themselves and encourage others. Manyperhaps most
families are not as well-prepared. For many, the result of trying to nd assistance
for a family member with ability challenges is helplessness, hopelessness, and
despair.

Working with Persons Less able and their Families

The author believes that the key issue which needs to be addressed when working
with persons less able and their families is a pervasive experience of negation and
powerlessness which is the result of institutionalized injustice.
However, the sense of loss and grief which also permeates the psyches of
persons less able and their families also needs our attention. When, as a result of
a birth anomaly, an accident, or a physiological or psychiatric disorder, someone
is deprived of the abilityactual and potentialthat most persons have, it is not
too extreme to compare responses to that experience with the loss and consequent
grief which occurs when someone dies.
During an intensive period of training in Gestalt therapy (probably one of
the better ways to work with family grief), the author got in touch with the grief
which had long lain buried in his soul about his sons loss of potentialand his
body writhed with the pain of it for 3040 minutes. There have also been times
when the authors son has experienced the pain of his loss of potential deeply and
has expressed it in his own unique ways. A few years ago the author disposed of
a kitchen table which had deep gouges in itinicted one day by his son with a
round-ended table knife when he came up against his limitations and losses and
felt his deep grief and anger.
Sometimes, work with persons less able and their families may involve facilitating and accompanying them into that deep soul-wrenching pain. It will also
involve addressing the powerlessness and negation referred to above.
However, the author does not believe that we can empower others. As he
wrote those words, he was reminded of the text from the hand of the apostle Paul
in Romans1:1617.
16 For

I am not ashamed of the gospel; it is the power of God for salvation to everyone
who has faith, to the Jew rst and also to the Greek. 17 For in it the righteousness of God
is revealed through faith for faith; as it is written, The one who is righteous will live by
faith. (New Revised Standard Version)

Empowerment has to do with ones belief system.

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215

Supportive pastoral/spiritual care and couple and family pastoral/spiritually informed therapy can assist persons to discover within themselves the spiritual
resources which they need in order to begin to empower themselves. For example: One can learn how to pray, not as a demand placed on the Divine, but as
a conversation in which one knows that God is holding our hand as we struggle
with whatever it is we have to deal with.
Such care and therapy can assist persons to develop the spiritual and religious
practices which facilitate self-empowerment and practical coping with whatever burdens are imposed by the experience of being less able or having to care
for a family member who is less able. For Example: One can achieve catharsis
of the pain of loss and grief and the capacity to function in centered ways.
Care & therapy can help persons uncover ways in which their personal and
multigenerational narrative has prepared them for dealing with injustice and
grief. For example: Genogram work can help to uncover coping strategies
(both helpful and unhelpful) in the familys multigenerational narrative.
Care and therapy can prepare persons with helpful information so that they
know how to deal with the principalities and powers (Romans 8:38, King
James Version) of inept or demonic bureaucracies in their struggle to make the
world a just and equitable world. For example: Individuals/Families can be
referred to specialized agencies and support groups.
We, who purport to care, can walk alongside them in that struggle, sometimes
exercising a prophetic role. For example: We can exercise a ministry of encouragement and sometimes of writing letters to key politicians and civil servants.
In some instances our role as representative religious persons will mean that we
are heard when others might not be.

The Giftedness of Persons Less Able

The author has made reference to his ten-years-younger cousin and to the two
girls in the congregation which he served as a parish minister. The author does not
believe that God caused these three to be part of his life experiencealthough
he is aware that that is the way some persons of faith might construe the situation.
Neither does the author believe that God caused the chromosomal abnormality,
the brain damage, or the Downs syndrome that rendered them less able. And the
author certainly does not believe that God inicts mental illness or accidents on
anyone.
However, the author does believe that the persons whom he has known who
have struggled with fallout from these and other kinds of disabling conditions have
gifted him with understanding which helped to prepare him for the experience of

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caring for his son and for the ministry of care, counselling, and education in which
he has been involved for ve decades.
Also, while they are less able, persons with challenges are also very able.
The two girls were, and the authors son is, especially tuned into feelings at a
level that is far more acute than the author was until he realized that and learned
from them. And they have not hesitated to let the author know what they were and
are seeing.
The author was experiencing considerable frustration with his son who was
trying to get his attention, one day when the author was working to get something
done in order to meet a deadline. Finally, the author could take no more. He stood
up, threw his slipper on the oor, and let out a loud roar. His sons response:
Youre really frustrated with me, Dad.
Here is an example of that sensitivity to feelings from the authors work as a
chaplain in a psychiatric hospital. He was working against a deadline in his ofce
next door to the chapel when a patient who had schizophrenia dropped in for a
visit. After a couple of minutes, she said: You really dont want me here right
now, do you? The author acknowledged the truth of her experiencing of him,
told her that he had limited time to nish what he was working on, and invited her
to come back the next afternoon.
A young man with Downs syndrome is the ofcial greeter in one of the congregations of the authors denomination and he is very skilful at making persons
feel welcomed. Another young man with Downs syndrome wrote a book about
what it was like for him to live as a person with Downs syndrome.
Of course, we should not be surprised about this. Persons less able are persons rstwith gifts and limitations just like us all. Their limitations lead to their
being characterized as less able. However, their gifts are often accentuated in
part because they are less able.

Transformative Action and Research

Here the author offers an example of the persuasive power of properly conducted
action research in effecting transformation of societal norms. Following is the
abstract for an instance of that kind of research conducted in the city of Calgary
in the Canadian Province of Alberta.
The authors describe a participatory research project undertaken by a group of people
with schizophrenia under the guidance of a university researcher. Participatory research
involves members of the research group in meaningful participation in all stages of the
research process. In this study, group members chose the topic (experiences with medical
professionals) and method of data collection (in-depth interviews that they conducted with
each other). They developed and performed a readers theater presentation of the results

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217

and their recommendations for how they would like to be treated by medical professionals.
The results indicate that good communication with medical professionals is essential to
people with schizophrenia; it helps them accept the fact that they are ill and learn to live
with the illness. The research offered a transformative experience to group members and
is contributing to change in the practice of health care for people with severe mental
illnesses.
Schneider et al. (2004)

When discussing their methodology, Schneider et al. wrote the following:

This research project is embedded in a tradition of cooperative inquiry that emphasizes
working with community groups as co-researchers (e.g., Fals-Borda & Rahman, 1991;
Reason, 1994). This approach stands in stark contrast to the traditional scientic approach
to knowledge generation, which places the academic researcher at a distance from the
subjects of the research to produce objective knowledge. The participatory approach
assumes that the experts are the people who live the experiences that are being studied,
and that knowledge is something that is produced through the active engagement and
interaction of all members of the research group. Participatory research thus strives to
transform the social relations of research (Oliver, 1992; Zarb, 1992) by regarding participants as both co-researchers and co-subjects. In particular, participatory research involves
the members of the research group in meaningful participation in all stages of the research process, including developing the research question, gathering the data, analyzing
the data, and disseminating and using the results. Ideally, the research not only produces
knowledge but also is transformative in some way for the participants. Schneider at al.
(2004)

This is very different from the Research Methodology the author learned in the
1970s from people like Donald Campbell (1962/1966) and Lee Sechrest (Webb et
al. 1971). At that time, the emphasis was on trying to emulate, in social psychological research, the objective stance of the so-called hard sciences. Researchers in social psychology were just beginning to come up against the fact
that only so much could be learned from this objective stance. Especially in research on Education, Nursing Care, Human Services, and Pastoral/Spiritual Care
& Counselling we have gradually developed the criteria which guide what we now
call Qualitative Research. Vandecreek, Bender, & Jordan (1994/2009); Swinton &
Mowat (2006); and Wilson (2008) provide a helpful entry to this way of understanding the nature of inquiry into human functioning.

Epilog
Not long ago, at the monthly meeting of the DMin (Doctor of Ministry) Program
Committee of the theological college where the author is Associate Faculty, one
of our members shared something which is relevant here. She is the Director of
Community Awareness and Development for an organization that supports and ad-

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vocates for persons less able and their families. As a component of the reection
with which our meeting began, she talked about gathering together the research
which has been done on the needs of persons with autism and the record of community and governmental action in response to that body of knowledge. She then
described the way in which the document she had prepared was received positively and with appreciation (which appeared to be genuine) by the politicians she
had persuaded (a monumental task) to give her a hearing. She concluded with a
statement sometimes attributed to Goethe, although it is actually derivative. Here
is what she shared.
Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the
ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: At the moment one denitely
commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that
would never have otherwise occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man [sic] could have dreamed would come his [sic] way. Whatever you
can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin
it now.

The original can be found at Goethe, Faust I, Zeilen 214230.

The colleagues point was that we do not get to where we need to go unless we
actually get started and that, in the act of beginning, we can trust that what needs
to occur will occur. Overly optimistic? Perhaps. Unrealistic? Perhaps. In the long
sweep of human history, understood as the Divine history, perhaps not.
Here is the last word from the authors son. The author wrote about this in
an article in The Journal of Religion and Disability (Carr, 2009). The family was
sharing in Communion one Sunday and, as the Bread was passed down the row
of chairs, the authors son (then a young teen) decided that it was time for him to
begin sharing in the Sacrament and took a piece of the bread. When the Wine was
passed, the author helped him take a glass of grape juice. Afterwards, curious as
to what might have motivated him that day, the author asked him if he knew what
Communion was about. His reply: God loves me.

References
Campbell, Donald T. and Julian C. Stanley. (1962/1966) Experimental and QuasiExperimental Designs for Research. Chicago: Rand McNally.
Carr, John C. (2009) God Loves Me . . . Journal of Religion, Disability, and Health, Vol.
13, pp. 192193.
Eiesland, Nancy L. and Don E. Saliers. (eds.) (1998) Human Disability and the Service
of God: Reassessing Religious Practice. Nashville: Abingdon Press.

PASTORAL -S PIRITUAL C ARE , C OUNSELLING , & A DVOCACY

219

Fals-Borda, O., & Rahman, M. A. (Eds.). (1991). Action and knowledge: Breaking
the monopoly with participatory action research. New York: Intermediate Technology/Apex.
Fox, Matthew. (1996 Revised Edition) Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality. Rochester, Vermont: Bear & Company.
Furniss, George M. (1994) The Social Context of Pastoral Care: Dening the Life Situation. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press.
Oliver, M. (1992). Changing the social relations of research production? Disability, Handicap and Society, 7, 101114.
Gillingham, Gail. (1995) Autism: Understanding and Managing the Behavior of Children
and Adults with Autism. Edmonton Alberta: Tacit Publishing Inc.
Patton, John. Pastoral Counselling: A Ministry of the Church. Nashville: Abingdon, 1983.
Reason, P. (1994). Three approaches to participative inquiry. In N. K. Denzin & Y. S.
Lincoln (Eds.), Handbook of qualitative research (pp. 324339). Newbury Park, CA:
Sage.
Rolland, John S. (1994) Families, Illness, & Disability: An Integrative Treatment Model.
NY: Basic Books. Schneider et al. (2004)
Schneider et al. (2004) Communication between people with schizophrenia and their medical professionals: A participatory research project. Qualitative Health Research, Vol.
14:4, 562577.
Seligman, Milton and Rosalyn Benjamin Darling. (1997) Ordinary Families, Special
Children (2nd edition). New York: Guilford Press.
Siegel, Bryna. (1996) The World of the Autistic Child: Understanding and Treating Autistic Spectrum Disorders. New York: Oxford University Press.
Smith, Craig and David Nylund. (1997) Narrative Therapies with Children and Adolescents. New York: Guilford Press.
Swinton, John & Harriet Mowat. (2006) Practical Theology and Qualitative Research.
London: SCM Press.
Vandecreek, Larry, Hilary Bender, Merle Jordan. (1994) Research in Pastoral Care and
Counselling: Quantitative and Qualitative Approaches. Decatur, GA: Journal of Pastoral Care Publications Inc. (reprinted 2009 by Wipf & Stock).
Webb, Eugene J., Donald T. Campbell, Richard D. Schwarz, Lee Sechrest. (1971) Unobtrusive Measures: Nonreactive Research in the Social Sciences. Chicago: Rand McNally
Walsh, Froma. (1998) Strengthening Family Resilience (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford
Press.
Walsh, Froma (editor). (1999) Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy. New York: Guilford
Press.
Wilson, Shawn. (2008) Research Is Ceremony: Indigenous Research Methods. Halifax &
Winnipeg: Fernwood Publishing.
Zarb, G. (1992).On the road to Damascus: First steps toward changing the relations of
disability research production. Disability and Society, 7, 125138.

The welcoming guest. Practices of mutual hospitality in

Chaplaincy
Martin Walton

I am from too far out of town

according to the map
I am too often folding and unfolding,
I must be lost, or holding it upside down,
I shall write mine across it while I must
wait for heaven where my dust on dust
will not be read or seen,
and called neither good nor bad,
just: understood
as if complete.
Leo Vroman1

Exploration of a metaphor
The 2011 ICPCC World Congress2 introduced the participants to the extraordinary
hospitality of the Maori hosts. For many of the participants it was a rst introduction to greetings in the form of touching noses. The international participants
brought other ritual forms with them, like those of placing hand palms together
and gently bowing, and shaking hands. In such a situation the rites tend to become
mixed, uid and diverse. That in turn gives rise to embarrassment and amusement,
uncertainty and celebration. In the rituals of encounter of the congress one could
see guests adjusting to the practices of hosts but also hosts accommodating themselves to the ways of the guests.
1

From the poem Competition, L. Vroman, De gebeurtenis and andere gedichten, Amsterdam
2001, p. 10.
This article is based upon a presentation made at the ICPCC World Congress 2011 on Rituals of
Encounters in Healing: Pastoral Care and Counselling at Rotorua, New Zealand. The congress
was hosted by the Maori Anglican Church.

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The intent of the expos that follows is that of exploring the image and practice
of hospitality for its potential as an elucidating metaphor for chaplaincy care. A
central proposition is that the metaphor can work two ways. As mutual hospitality,
in the form of interchangeable roles of host and guest, the metaphor can serve to
clarify and congure not only the interaction between chaplain and client but also
the intentions of the encounter. For the sake of specicity my focus will be on
(psychiatric) chaplaincy care, but I am assuming that my considerations will be in
some ways applicable to other forms of pastoral care and counseling.
My route of exploration will depart from a brief reection (2. Visiting patients) on my own experiences as a chaplain in psychiatric care in the Netherlands
(19932008) in a period in which a signicant number of patients were moving
out (or being moved out) of hospital grounds to sheltered or independent living
arrangements. I will then summarily consider two basic types of conceptualizations of chaplaincy care (3. Paradigms of chaplaincy) in the Netherlands and beyond, particularly as I have encountered them as a teacher of students preparing
for chaplaincy (2008 2012). Key terms are presence and intervention. The next
step will be to explore the hospitality metaphor (4. Mutual hospitality) by drawing
some insights from general and pastoral literature on the subject. I can then turn to
my primary task, that of employing the hospitality metaphor to elucidate the practice of chaplaincy care (5. Welcoming Guest), while paying special attention to
matters of roles, goals and intentions in the encounters of chaplaincy. In a brief
conclusion (6. Playing the roles) I will underline my intent with the image of the
welcoming guest. At two points I will interrupt my explorations with excursions
in the form of imagined dialogues.

Visiting patients
The vocabulary of chaplaincy, in the American and Dutch contexts in which I
have lived, borrows several terms from the practice of hospitality. By that I refer
not primarily to the emphasis on hospitality that many hospitals have included
in their mission statements, but to the everyday practice of visiting patients and
wards and of receiving patients in ones ofce, asking permission to enter into a
room or sit by a bed and welcoming others into a space of worship or meditation,
shaking hands and sharing coffee.
When I began as a chaplain in psychiatric care in 1993 patients were moving
out of large, isolated mental health institutions into living arrangements, sheltered
or private, in the midst of the city. When patients informed me that they would
soon be leaving the grounds of the hospital where I had my ofce, I would make
them an offer. If they would let me know their new address and when they were
moving, I would come by in the days after their move to visit them. And I would

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stop at a bakery to take some pastries with me. Such a step in life needed to be
celebrated was my thought. I had other intentions as well, for example, to inquire
what someones spiritual needs in the new situation might be, whether I might be
helpful in making contact with a new religious community, whether one might
like a visit from a parish minister or whether specialized care from the chaplain
would still be needed or desired. My primary concern, however, was to afrm the
person in his or her new setting. I would admire the new washing machine and
the sparse decorations and drink the coffee. And as many of the patients lived in
isolation once they moved to private quarters, I hoped to invite them to host others
by offering myself as a guest.
Inviting myself and taking pastries with me was a confusion of roles. I was
doing things the host should do or provide. And yet it was precisely that confusion, or interchange, that seemed to make the visits work. Pastoral practices of
hospitality seem to reect a double intentionality. In the rst place they mirror
cultural customs and politeness. At the same time they serve theological intentions of afrming persons in their humanity and dignity and welcoming whatever
those persons may bring with them to conversation, counseling or worship. To
work towards that double end the chaplain plays a double role, a host offering
hospitality (to which pastoral literature attests) but also the role of a guest asking
permission to enter into the space and life of another, treading lightly to learn the
ways in the space and experience of the other. The counterpoint of the pastor as
host is the role of the client or patient as guest, but equally important is to pay attention to the role of the client as host, one who is willing and daring to welcome
a stranger (pastor) into his sphere of being, into her life story, into the territory
of the house or the customs of the land where one has come to reside as a person
with psychiatric difculties. My proposal is that it is precisely the interchange of
roles and attentiveness to that interchange that can serve to illuminate the work of
chaplaincy.

Paradigms of chaplaincy
There are many other metaphors and paradigms of pastoral and chaplaincy care.
I will not do justice to them here. I will only pay summary attention to two general approaches that I will typify as presence and intervention. It may not be
entirely correct to use these two approaches as a stage for my metaphor of mutual hospitality. The terms are in some ways incomparable. My rationale for the
comparison is the paradigmatic inuence they can have.

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Presence
The notion of presence has been used not just in the obvious sense of attentive
proximity of a pastor but to indicate a paradigmatic approach to pastoral care.
(Baart 2001) Central to that understanding is an afrmation of the personhood
and agency of the other as subject in the pastoral encounter. The pastor allows
himself to be guided by the other (including the needs, situation and tempo of the
other) in the pastoral task. The agenda is not to be determined by the viewpoints
of the pastor but by the perspectives and concerns of the person in question. In the
restraint from intervention and in the offering of self the pastor provides optimal,
empathetic care. Such a notion of presence might be understood as a structural
approach to empathy.
My assessment of such approaches is that presence is a necessary but not a
sufcient condition of chaplaincy care. It is a formal term, whatever explanation
is added. The nature of the desired presence is not claried by the term itself; nor
are the ways in which presence should be expressed. Presence neither sufciently
denes the roles that one plays nor guides the actions one might employ. In criticisms of interventions (Baart 2001) or of techniques (Pembroke 2002) for the sake
of presence, the case seems easily overstated. More importantly, however, using
notions of presence and availability as guiding terms makes it difcult to delineate
limits to the pastoral task and personal commitment of the pastor. Employing such
terms as friendship only strengthens the danger of raising false expectations.

Intervention
Interventionist approaches provide denable and communicable approaches to
spiritual assessment and directives for the handwork (or mouthwork) of chaplaincy and pastoral care. The development of such models has contributed greatly
to the professionalization of chaplaincy, in the accountability to and communication with not only other care professionals, but also with patients and clients.
Moreover the use and explication of specic models stimulates reection on the
pastoral process and the person of the pastor. (Lucas & VandeCreek 2001)
Any process of professionalization, of course, has an objectifying tendency to
it that runs the danger of overruling those on behalf of whom the profession is developed. Models of spiritual assessment shape perceptions of spirituality. Theories
of coping guide understandings of life stories. The availability of pastoral techniques motivates pastoral interventions. That is the strength of all such matters,
but also their prejudice and weakness. They are culturally colored and generally
formulated from the perspective of the pastor or chaplain, rather than from the
client or patient. That, too, is ironically a problem with the formulation of pres-

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ence approaches. The focus is generally on (the quality of) the presence of the
pastor and not the presence or coming to presence of the other.

Time for conversation

Do you have a moment for me?
Sure. Come on in.
Or am I interrupting you?
No, no, it can wait.
So I am interrupting you.
Well, yes, I mean, I was doing something, but I can put it aside.
Im always afraid that Im taking someones time.
Well, what can I say about that? Its sort of like the question what God was doing before
he created the world.
What?
What was God doing before he created the world?
Did he get interrupted, too?
No, what Im getting at is that before God created the world, there was no time.
So God didnt have any time, either.
No, what I mean is that if God is beyond time, then God was always doing everything or
nothing in particular, depending on how you look at it.
What sort of things does God do?
Let me put it this way. Only if you allow yourself to get tied up in time, can someone else
interrupt you or infringe upon your time. Otherwise doing something and doing nothing
are of like time, just like being outside of time.
Sometimes I dont really have anything to do. It does feel like being outside of time.
Really?
You know what the problem with doing nothing is?
No.
You never know when youre done.
I see.
Am I taking too much of your time?
No, but what did you come in to ask me?
Oh yeah, I was wondering when you might have some time for me, if thats not a problem?

Mutual hospitality
In the cultures with which I am familiar there seems to be renewed interest in
hospitality. There are studies on Christian practices of churches and church related activities for the socially marginalized. (Pohl 1999) and on the theological
signicance of hospitality for the self-understanding of the church (Vosloo 2006).
There are studies on hospitality as a key to a hermeneutic of interreligious theology (Moyaert 2011) and on hospitality as a guide for reframing our thinking

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225

about God, divine action and human response (Newlands & Smith 2010). And
there are various references to hospitality in literature on pastoral care (Nouwen
1975; Pembroke 2002). I might also point to the inuential treatise by the French
philosopher Derrida with an understanding of hospitality as a cultural key (Derrida 2000).
Several authors point to the biblical (Jewish) roots of an ethic of hospitality. And it is evident that there are many ethical values and issues involved in
practices of hospitality: appeal, need, appropriation. And just as obviously the
ethical dimension is tied to psychological and social (relational) aspects: identity, strangeness, otherness, apprehension, horizons of meaning, etcetera. For the
present exploration all of these dimensions can serve a purpose, although my primary concern is not with moral purposes but with understanding the dynamics of
chaplaincy care, of the encounter between two people already engaged in the roles
of patient and chaplain.
I note briey three observations based on the literature that will be helpful for
an exploration of that dynamic.
a) Characteristic of the proclamation of Jesus are various parables on feasts and
meals. The hosts and (invited) guests tend to act in non-conformist ways.
Jesus himself hosts followers and multitudes in the sharing of meals. It is
striking also how Jesus is not only invited by others but can also assume
the role of a self-inviting guest. In both cases he is capable of taking over
the situation, hosting the conversation, determining the agenda. He invites
himself to the house of Zacchaeus and welcomes a woman of ill repute at his
feet in the house of another. The non-conformist shifting of roles seems to be
an integral part of the dynamic of the gospel narrative. (Pohl 1999. p. 17ff.)
b) There would seem to be a natural relationship between practices of hospitality and narrative, hermeneutical approaches to pastoral care. The encounter
between host and stranger, especially the meal with host and guests, seems to
be an optimal setting for the sharing of stories, for discovering new perspectives, for opening new elds of meaning. (Pohl 1999, p. 13; Moyaert 2011;
Nouwen 1975, p. 67.)
c) In various treatments of hospitality one encounters references to dialogical
approaches to philosophy, where host and guest/stranger, as I and Thou,
become who they are in the event of their interaction. Reference is made to
the encounter of the other (Buber); of the other as stranger (Levinas); and
of oneself as another (Ricouer). It is as though such philosophical perceptions read as a phenomenology of experiences in hospitality. (Vosloo 2006,
pp. 116ff.; Moyaert 2011.).
Such a phenomonology of hospitality, which will not be worked out here, runs
parallel to experiences in pastoral care and chaplaincy (Nouwen 1975, pp. 48 &

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51; Dittes 1999, p. 60; Pembroke 2002, pp. 13.) and leads to the acknowledgement of reciprocity. The host learns from the guest and can at times feel a greater
indebtedness to the guest than the guest to the host. The pastor or chaplain learns
from the other, can be awed by what he or she witnesses in the other and can
experience an encounter more as gift than work.

Welcoming guest
The hospitality metaphor seems to be a very good one, especially in situations
where the relation between a pastor and another person is initially a formal one,
such as in chaplaincy. Good hospitality can break the ice. A simple act of receiving
another person, of hosting unheard of questions or of entertaining the strange can
be prove to engender a new experience or a turning point. (Dittes 1999) Healers
are hosts who patiently and carefully listen to the story of the suffering strangers.
Patients are guests who rediscover their selves by telling their story to the one
who offers them a place to stay. In the telling of their stories, strangers befriend
not only their host but also their past.(Nouwen 1975, p. 67f.)
Where hospitality is recognized as a quality of pastoral care, it is generally the
pastor to whom is referred as host. The other, whether patient, client or some
person in need, is understood as guest. I propose to push the metaphor a little
further. I am convinced that the metaphor has more critical potential to it than is
generally explicated. One of the ways of pushing the metaphor is to reverse it, to
ask in which ways not the patient but the pastor is a guest. How might the chaplain
afrm or contribute to the hosting capacities of the patient or other person? Such a
reversal or interchange of roles can have a performative effect in chaplaincy care.
In taking the role of guest the chaplain draws out the host role in the patient.
As I stated early on I recognize that chaplains do in fact often work in such
manners, visiting patients and asking them to entertain new ways of thinking,
whether or not they actually refer to what they are doing in such terms as mutual
hospitality. That means that much of my present proposal is actually more or less
descriptive, a way of understanding what many chaplains already in fact do. At the
same time I hope my exploration of the welcoming guest metaphor will serve to
deepen and sharpen perceptions of what a chaplain can do in care and counseling.
In that manner the critical potential of the metaphor and its performative effect
can serve to provide (strategic) guidance to pastoral care.

Welcoming
Hospitality is generally guided by etiquette specic to the culture and occasion,
as well as to the persons involved. Whether greetings are done with a hand shake

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227

or certain distances are respected, attentiveness to the rituals and phases of hospitality are essential to entering into a fruitful pastoral encounter. The rituals of
welcoming are not just a matter of making the other feel at ease or of providing a
cup of coffee (or whatever the cultural customs might be). They are also a reading
of the others words and gestures to know how he or she might wish or not wish to
welcome the pastor. In an initial meeting there is always some role dening process: who welcomes whom in which manner and which welcome is welcome and
which is not. There are, of course, aspects of power, class, gender and culture that
I will come to later, but the point to be made here is that in being able to inuence
and interact with the welcome by the chaplain, a patient can nd her agency afrmed or dependency solidied, his identity respected or position questioned. In
hospitality welcoming is not just the beginning of the work, but is the work itself.

Reciprocity
In chaplaincy the rst act of hospitality is, or perhaps I should say the rst acts of
hospitality are to welcome the other person as a person and to be accepted by the
other person as a person. All sorts of intricate acts of mutual welcoming serve the
establishment of a reciprocal basis by which and on which the roles of host and
guest can be played. On whose terrain does the encounter occur? Who feels the
need to ask whom for permission and why? To what extent is the patient capable
of initiative or of being heard to speech? Does uncertainty cause the chaplain
to fumble? Or does her assumption of some common ground that does not exist
cause her to go too far too fast? Does the status as chaplain get in the way? All of
these at times confusing, at times amusing questions, actually illuminate the paths
and possibilities of reciprocity, or reveal the incapacities of the parties.

Symmetry & asymmetry

Such welcoming acts can continue an entire conversation or over multiple sessions. They help in dealing not only with various expectations (and prejudices)
in chaplaincy contacts, but also with what might be called the simultaneous symmetry of humanity and asymmetry of roles. Both symmetry and asymmetry are
inalienable to chaplaincy care and in some ways related to the presence and intervention modes respectively. There is symmetry in not knowing how to really
answer the big questions of life; there is usually asymmetry in the ability to say
something about those big questions. There is some symmetry in human experience but asymmetry in how that experience bears upon the two persons in their
respective roles of patient and chaplain. Both symmetry and asymmetry have their
value and their dangers. It is the sharing of the basic experience of being human
that makes empathy possible, but the same symmetry can also lead to over-

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identication or projection. It is the difference of roles from which the chaplain

draws his or her professionalism to assist others, but the same asymmetry can
lead to dominance or to knowing better than the other what the others problem
might be.
Chaplains seem to be aware in their pastoral relations of differences in knowledge, power and position. The primary anti-dote seems to be better awareness.
Another response is to emphasize the sphere of the inter-human in which the
quality of the pastoral relationship stands central. (Pembroke 2002, 1, 4) What
must be avoided, however, is the attempt either to leap over ones shadow (awareness) or to jump over the chasm of asymmetry in the assumption of some assumed
common humanity (presence).
I draw these caricatures in order to suggest that the notion of the welcoming
guest can provide a slightly different focus, not on the quality of the pastoral relationship as such, but on the quality of the interactions in a pastoral encounter.
The quality of the interactions can be appraised on the basis of criteria drawn
from mutual hospitality. Is the chaplain as host able to appreciate similarity and
difference, symmetry and asymmetry, their relative value and their possible detrimental effect? Is the chaplain adept in playing both guest and host roles? Such an
approach allows for a reciprocity in the pastoral encounter that assumes a more
or less symmetrical but often indenable humanity while teasing the asymmetry.
That might be done, for example by explaining as a good host what the local
customs in communication are and inviting the guest to respond by telling how
one communicates in his country. Host and guest are alternately at home in their
own country and guest in each others. They can then negotiate what language they
are going to speak and what forms of communication they will employ. In such
negotiations and interchanging roles differences of power can be encountered and
recongured for the sake of human interaction. Human symmetry can be appreciated precisely from the viewpoint of different roles.

Goals
Practices of hospitality generally tend to serve two basic purposes: to meet anothers needs, whether hunger or shelter, and, subsequently, to offer another person the opportunity to share his or her story. That double focus provides initial direction to the pastoral contact. What needs might be present? What stories might
need to be shared? Tied to those matters are two other questions. Who is the person
who is thus revealing herself? What might his hopes be? These basic questions are
closely tied to the common narratives in chaplaincy encounters. People tell their
stories and express their needs and hopes. In chaplaincy as in hospitality the stories and expressive moments are not just means of getting somewhere else, they

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are in themselves performative events. Things happen in the telling and retelling,
in the expressing and sharing, in the listening and rehearing.
As a guest in the story of the other the chaplain treads lightly, asking questions, noting things beautiful, ugly or unusual. As a good host the chaplain listens
attentively, may be at awe at the strange new world that opens, may have some
misgivings and feel the need to set limits. The role of host requires rst of all
respecting the authorship of the other in her own story, but also issuing an invitation to taste new approaches and try out new customs or perspectives. In doing so
the chaplain hosts different worlds simultaneously, that of the person telling his
story and that of alternative stories on life and the world. In the role of host the
chaplain need neither pass judgment nor withhold contrasting viewpoints. There
is thus a certain formality required of the host that makes her more a witness who
is seeking to clarify than a participant. (Dittes 1999, p. 133)
More formally one might call the process a shared hermeneutical experience
in which different meanings and perspectives are exchanged. A further analysis of
narrative approaches would enrich the description but enough has been said to illustrate how the notion of mutual hospitality can help the chaplain to dene focus,
goals en possible interventions in the form of specic questions to be explored
and invitations to be issued. Conversely a conception of hospitality can provide
chaplains with a vocabulary for evaluating their activities, analyzing specic encounters and accounting for missed opportunities.

The stranger
The word hospitality is often used for the entertainment of the like-minded and
like-situated who will hopefully repay the invitation. It has probably become clear
that the use of the term here refers to the welcoming of the stranger. (Of course,
the stranger role is generally applied to the guest, but to the guest the host is just
as much a stranger.) Hospitality is the welcoming of others in their otherness.
(Vosloo 2005, p. 51) A strength of the hospitality metaphor for chaplaincy is precisely the assumption that two strangers are meeting each other who will likely
have difculty understanding each other. Chaplains who are too much bent on letting others know how well they understand whatever predicament another is in
might do well to depart from a point of view of non-understanding common to the
meeting of strangers. Such interested non-understanding or not-yet-understanding
is often more conducive to the encounter than any supposed understanding.
On the other hand one might encounter things in the other, chaplain in patient
or patient in chaplain, that one thinks to be really strange. One can let them be just
that. By positively allowing for strangeness the practice of hospitality can allow
space for things to be found strange without that description being judgmental.
Judgment is generally understood to be something a chaplain should not pass. That

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is difcult because judgment is something that comes to most people naturally,

including chaplains. The point is not that chaplains are never to judge, but that
the etiquette of their role as host requires them to refrain from expressing that
judgment as much as possible. The host transforms the perception of judgment of
the strange into a curiosity into the strange.
Strangers from strange countries will generally nd things from each other
strange. That is part of the game of learning to understand, often of being taught
to understand by the other. The exchange of host and guest roles nds a parallel in
the exchange of teacher and pupil roles. A welcoming of the stranger, in whatever
role, allows not only for a positive reception of what is strange but also a manner
of bringing the experience of estrangement to light and discussing it.

Difference
Closely tied to the perception of what is strange is the recognition of cultural
and particular differences. In the same way that hospitality can offer a way of
talking about what is strange, so also it provides an etiquette for discussing cultural
and particular differences. Host and guest are generally expected to inform each
other about such differences, even to some extent provoke each other. Rules of
hospitality require that one carefully respect such differences of culture, gender,
whatever. They may include differences on topics that are proper to discuss with
a stranger, communication between persons of different sexes or even historical
animosities.
At the same time it is characteristic of hospitality, of the meeting of foreign
worlds, that limits set by differences of culture are also challenged. Who decides
in which way the limits can be challenged is itself a matter of negotiation and of
mutual respect. It may also require some role changing. The conclusion is similar.
As welcoming guest the chaplain can allow not only for a positive reception of
difference but also for an etiquette in which difference can be brought to attention
and discussed.

Limits & boundaries

As a teacher on chaplaincy I nd my students somewhat overwhelmed by notions
of presence, availability and unconditional acceptance. The problem is not their
being overwhelmed, for that is half of the learning experience, but that such notions hardly help them to delineate the frontiers, limits and boundaries of their
professional activities. And I wonder if the terms are not too personally and absolutely formulated. I question whether anything like unconditional acceptance
really exists in professional relations like chaplaincy. There is invitation and acceptance, there is hospitality and forgiveness, there is patience and reconsidera-

T HE WELCOMING GUEST

231

tion, but I think none of it is really unconditional. There are specic limits and
conditions of safety, time investment, availability, ethics, etcetera, and they need
to be taken into view even as they often need to be challenged.
The role of host is both demanding and protective at the same time. Imagining
themselves as hosts students can reect on how hospitable they are, how well
they can fulll the role, where their limits are and where they want them to be.
Seeing themselves as guests students can imagine new roles, explore frontiers of
the profession and learn to see themselves through the eyes of others. Speaking of
chaplains as welcoming guests thus provides a concrete vocabulary to explore the
frontiers and boundaries of the profession.

Intentionality
I emphasize here again how practices of (mutual) hospitality can serve a double
intentionality, on the one hand observing cultural customs and respecting difference and at the same time serving to afrm persons in their humanity and dignity.
Hospitality is not just the beginning of an encounter but the ongoing work of welcoming topics to conversation, appreciating difference and accommodating the
strange. What respect is offered a patient in specic ways of greeting? Which topics can be commonly invited to conversation in what manner? Far from just being
a manner of introductions, ongoing practices of hospitality and (critical) reection on them offer ways of relating cultural manners to pastoral concerns, social
practices to theological themes, ritual actions to personal meaning.

Spirituality
Variously treatments of hospitality link the notion to spirituality. (E.g. Nouwen
1975; Pohl 1999, pp. 170ff.) Central to hospitality is the act of receptivity in the
act of receiving another person as guest or in the act of receiving the hospitality
provided by another. In welcoming strangers angels are received. (Hebrews 13.2)
In hosting the least the divine is welcomed. (Matthew 25.31ff.) Such fundamental acts of receptivity link hospitality in a phenomenological way to spirituality.
The disposition of receptivity is seen to be constitutive of both hospitality and
spirituality.
This coincidence suggests that the chaplain is not just concerned to act hospitable for the sake of paying attention to the topic of spirituality, but that hospitality and spirituality encompass and shape the entire practice of chaplaincy. In
being hospitable the chaplain practices spirituality. In being attentive to spirituality the pastor welcomes new dimensions of life and the divine into the encounter
with another person. The point becomes not so much to bring God into the con-

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versation between patient and chaplain as to understand the encounter to reside in

the context of divine hospitality, in the welcoming and visiting activity of God.

Dance oor dialogue

I just dont feel at home.
You dont feel at home here?
I dont feel at home anywhere.
No where?
I feel like an illegal resident who sleeps a night here, then there, but has no where to call
home. They cant just keep saying that theres no room for people.
No, they shouldnt. Its like the question how many angels can dance on the point of a
needle.
What?
How many angels can dance on the point of the needle?
Why would anyone want to dance on the point of a needle?
What I mean is, if one angel can dance on the point of a needle, why not two? Why not
twenty? Why not two hundred or two million?
Doesnt it make any difference what kind of dance they are doing?
What Im trying to say is this. On the dance oor of life theres room for everyone.
But I cant dance.
Well, its like Henry David Thoreau said . . .
Who?
Henry David Thoreau. If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is
because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however
measured or far away.
Do I need to take dancing lessons?
No, just listen to your own body language?
My body tells me that I cant dance and that nobody wants me out on the dance oor.
But what Im trying to say is that on the dance oor of life . . .
I feel the needle pricking.

Playing the roles

A common question of the two imagined dialogues above is whether one is welcome or not, in a temporal sense (Do you have a moment for me?) or in looking
for a space or place to be (I dont feel at home anywhere!). A similar sentiment
was expressed in the verse of poetry set at the beginning: when off the regular
map there is only a waiting for heaven to understand. In (long term) psychiatric
care where many persons have lost their natural habitat and social roles, such
a question is often acute and explicit. Mechanisms of marginalization can serve
to magnify the question. In other cases where questions of belonging might be
less on the foreground, there may nevertheless be hesitations to bring important

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233

matters to speech and to hold any personal issues up to exposure. What will be
thought of me if I mention such a thing? Or more provoking perhaps, Is there
someone willing to take on my way of looking at things?
Whatever the case, a chaplain has to begin by learning the trade of being an
interested guest, as a stranger in a strange land. What is the experiential world
in which a patient is living? What is the social world? What is the culture and
what are the customs? The chaplain will have to ask the question, Am I welcome
here and under what conditions?Genuine interest will generally be rewarded. Too
much curiosity may make the host uneasy, distrustful.
Likewise a chaplain must know how to assume the role of host, welcoming
and inviting others to conversation, creating a time and a place where hearts can
be opened, minds can be cleared and unexpected meanings can be explored. The
task of the chaplain may not be so much to make friends as to welcome the
stranger, not so much to not nds things strange as to host the strange. The
strength of hospitality can at times be greater in the acceptance of otherness than
in the nding of some common ground.
While seeking to adeptly play and exchange ones own roles, the chaplain is
equally concerned to be attentive to how patients play and can play their roles.
They host the chaplain by providing coffee, opening their life to a stranger, enduring a somewhat awkward visit and/or entertaining a new perspective. They
assume the role of guest in having the courage to ask for someone elses time,
in expressing their hunger, adjusting to different ways of talking about things or
just submitting to the regiment of chaplain appointments. Hospitality is not just
something that hosts do but is an interplay of host and guest. In that interplay the
chaplain seeks to afrm others, respect and stimulate their agency, substantiate
their sense of being a human subject.
That interplay can be contextualized in an understanding, shared or not, of
being common guests in the welcoming activity of God. Or it may take the form
of welcoming God as a surprising stranger into the encounter between patient and
chaplain. In which place on which map will host and guest be able to meet and
share their meal?
Martin Walton is Lecturer in Spiritual Care at the Protestant Theological University in the Netherlands. mwalton@pthu.nl

Literature
Derrida, J., Of Hospitality, Standford: Stanford University Press, 2000.
Baart, A., Een theorie van de presentie, Utrecht; Lemma 2001.
Dittes, J., Pastoral Counseling. The Basics, Louisville: Westminster John Knox 1999.
Lucas, A.M. & VandeCreek, L., The Discipline for Pastoral Care Giving: Foundations
for Outcome Oriented Chaplaincy, New York: Haworth Press 2001.

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Marianne Moyaert, Fragile Identities. Towards a Theology of Interreligious Hospitality,

Amsterdam/New York: Rodopi 2011.
Newlands, G. & Smith, A., Hospitable God. The Transformative Dream, Surrey: Ashgate
Publishing Limite 2010.
Nouwen, H., Reaching Out. The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life, Garden City:
Doubleday 1975.
Pembroke, N., The Art of Listening: Dialogue, Shame and Pastoral Care, London: T&T
Clark/Handsel Press & Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2002.
Pohl, Chr. D., Making Room. Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition, Grand
Rapids: Wm. Eerdmans Publishing 1999.
Vosloo, R. Engelen als gasten? Christelijke gastvrijheid, Zoetermeer: Boekencentrum
2006.

Only the hair is grey . . .

Pastoral care and adult education for and with elderly people in a
German Begegnungssttte (house of encounters)
Heike Komma

Key words: adult education, life in realitionship, encounter of generations, responsibility for future generations.
When I rst read the title of the Congress on Pastoral Care and Counselling
2011 in Rotorua: Rituals of encounters in healing, I had to fetch my English
German dictionary and look up the meaning of the word encounters.
A few minutes later I had learnt two things: I came to know a new word, and
I realized that I am deeply interested in the theme of the congress. As Dr. Helen
Papuni asked me to present a workshop, I had the idea to tell people being interested from my work in the Bavarian Lutheran Church in Southern Germany,
which means exactly: I have to organize encounters. And that means: Primarily
I have to create atmospheres where good encounters are possible, where a healing communication can happen. And I was glad to get the chanceas well as the
people visiting my workshopto compare my experience and my work with the
situation in other parts of the world.
Thenin Rotoruathere was a group of people, who answered my invitation
with interest, and they attended my workshop.
Now Ill introduce my subject: It is
to think about the competencies (capacities) and needs of elderly people
In my hometown my job is dened as doing adult education, and I am prepared by special trainings for working with elderly people. And that includes, that
I have to reect on how young and old people can live together, how they in their
different age and attitudes towards life can have a sense and even an experience
of community.

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H EIKE KOMMA

I gave my workshop the title:

Only the hair is grey . . .
And by that I already had in mind the next sentence:
But the interests of elderly people are colourful.
I also thought about to give the workshop a biblical title as the following:
The hoary head is a crown of glory,
if it be found in the way of righteousness.
Proverbs 16,31
When I presented my title in Rotorua, I invited the participators of my workshop to have a look at me and at each other who of us has a hoary head? The
most of us!
We proceeded with a closer introduction, so that we came to know a little more
about each other than just the colour of the hair. The next step was: To nd out
and discuss about who of us is working mostly with young people and who with
elderly ones. We shared our good encounters we perhaps have had with a person
older than 70 and tried to explain why exactly we did consider that meeting as
good. Then we started to imagine good or happy meetings with a teeny. We also
had a short glance at these questions:
Who of you had a happy or good meeting with a teeny?
Who has been angry about a teeny in the last two weeks?
Who has been angry about an elderly person in the last two weeks?
Who of you thinks, that we have a lot to thank the generations before
us?
Who of you thinks that we who live today have a high responsibility
for the coming generations?
This was a rst warmingup, and it didnt last very long.
The second warmingup was a very lively one. I wanted to give people the
chance to compare the experiences of elderly people: So I invited them to think
on a concrete elderly person and then take the role of that person for a moment,
make a role exchange and introduce oneself as that person. I dened a chair in
front as a stage and after a short pause of thinking and encouraging themselves
the members of the group played old people: Old Australian mothers, old Maori
fathers, old European clientswe could meet them at the stage.

O NLY THE HAIR IS GREY . . .

237

How wonderful actors and actrices we found in the skin of my colleagues

from all over the world as they were in our group!
How much fun we had!
And we could see how old people resemble each other in their way of slow
movements, in their way of serenity, in their relationships with the younger ones
they love and how they resemble each other even unfortunately in their pain. For
us as a group this gave us a sense of what is human and that humanity is more or
less independent from cultural behaviour.
Prepared like this, I invited my workshopguests to a trip to the land of good
encountersof good places for elderly people. I could help their imaginations with
a power-point-presentation showing different events in our house of encounters in
Germany. Here I present the main theses:
Encounter between and with elderly people is considered as good, when
It is self-organized
It is self-determined
It faces the needs of the people
their will of satisfying themselves
and their wish for generativity (to take care for the future generations).
Here I showed some photos, e.g. from volunteers of a self organized caf being a
meeting point for elderly and from an advanced training for projects with people
just around being retired in their sixties. As an example for answering to special
needs of the people I presented our pictures from birthday parties. Frequently we
meet to honour those, who have had their birthday within the last time, and then
they get the possibility to tell and share stories of their life. Another example
was the mental training: here we meet the fear of Alzheimerss disease (amnesic
demencia).
What kind of help and companionship can we offer?

Good and established ways are:

Groups for elderly in the parish
Pastoral Care for bereaved persons
Divine services
Visit those, who have birthday

New ways are:

Diverse groups and activities for those who are born between 1910 and 1950
like:
Cultural events
Courses, where you learn to struggle with the sad side of getting older
Narrative groups to talk and listen, how life was and how it will be

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H EIKE KOMMA

Being present and helping against loneliness

All those practices and ideas from my German hometown and my work with elderly people were discussed within a public from an international perspective. We
came to the conclusion that the way we meet each other is different and dependent from our cultural backgrounds, from our different forms of encounters. But
as different as we are, we shared a consens of what I put here as a summary:
All life is life in relationship.
That applies for the relationship of man to God and for his or her
relationship to other people.
We are given to each other and we need each other:
This is true for any sense of community between the generations.
Living together succeeds when there are trust and acceptance and a
just and fair balance of the interest of generations.

Pastoral Rituals and Life-Cycle Themes in Family and

Individual Worship1
Alan Niven

Three central themes guide the content of this article.

1. The observation and integration of the ritual patterns of our own life.
2. The development of ritual processes in a pastoral-theological context.
3. The practice of ritual.

Observe and integrate the ritual patterns of your life

From beginning to end the rituals of our lives shape each hour, each day, each year. Everyone leads a ritualised life: Rituals are repeated patterns of meaningful acts. If you are
mindful of your actions, you will see the ritual patterns. If you see the patterns you may
understand them. If you understand them, you may enrich them. In this way, the habits of
a lifetime become sacred. Is this so?2

I observe my mid-life journey of faith through the lens of Easter themes. It is a

lens that has developed and guided my pastoral formation as I have responded to
the reality of the practical signs and living symbols of death and resurrection that
I experience in myself and others. Nowadays it is difcult to dene an actual age
bracket and say thats mid-life or thats where senior life begins, but there are
some pivotal moments and inner-life activities that are common to this passage
of the life-cycle. I consider the predictable and ordinary, celebratory or sad occasions that I and my circle of contemporaries have witnessed over the last decade:
the silver wedding anniversaries of friends and the golden anniversaries of parents; the funerals of parents, favourite uncles, aunts, mentors and key gures from
1

An earlier version of this chapter appeared in Elizabeth MacKinlay (ed.) Ageing, Disability and
Spirituality: Addressing the Challenge of Disability in Later Life, London: Jessica Kingsley
Publishers, 2008. It was based on a presentation to the Third National Conference on Ageing
and Spirituality (2007) hosted by the Centre for Ageing and Pastoral Studies, Charles Sturt
University, Canberra, Australia.
Robert Fulghum, From Beginning to End: The Rituals of Our Lives (New York: Random House,
1995), vi.

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childhood and adolescence; the 21st parties of our children and their friends. The
engagements of our children and their friends remind us of our own distant celebrations; the act of helping married or partnered children move into new homes
or watching the little arrivals will trigger strong memories; our parents wave their
nal farewell to the family home; memorial or remembrance services bring many
poignant reminders of mortality. One of the early texts on the so-called sandwich
generation indicates that life consists of tiny points of connection that form stories
that hold meaning only because of how someone hung them together. . . . We do
well to frame themeither literally, or by prayer, tears, stories, litanies of remembrance. Such mementos matter a lot, especially when shared with loved ones.3
Each celebration and ritual sketches my dying to former patterns of living and
points to my rising to new ways of being. The drive home or solitary moments
in the garden are often lled with thoughts that are alternately sad and joyful, yet
also convey the sense of a God who journeys with us. This is an experience that is
both strangely disturbing and comforting in its dual promise of struggle and hope.
An Easter-like theme emerges: Very truly I tell you, unless a seed falls into the
earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit (John
12:24 NRSV). Christian tradition suggests that relinquishing some aspect of my
being provides one way of reframing loss, change and transition as a pathway to
new and richer experiences. When we pay attention to our own small deaths such
moments may help us to identify long-held regret over our mistakes and tugs of
discomfort at our sins of omission. One look in the mirror simultaneously reveals
the brushstrokes of the years and again we confront our mortality. Questions begin
to form. How will we live reectively and engage new insights? How will we deal
with the ripples from the past composed of the myriad triumphs and failures,
neglected celebrations and accumulated grief from forgotten corners of our lives?
The predictable and continual appearance of these seed-moments offers fruitful
times of reection and self-awareness.
One common factor becomes apparent. These moments are usually accompanied by some form of ritual and in addition to the specic rituals of religious
groups, it is important to afrm that rituals form an important aspect of life
within any community.4 The diversity, richness and human dimension of our individual, family and community rituals may deepen our self-understanding and
sensitivity to our own frameworks of existence, or to our faith and spiritual life.
Such themes are shared with all humanity but for those of us who work in the
caring professions, this reection can also train us in the art of being open to
3

Dennis and Ruth Gibson, The Sandwich Generation (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1991)
33.
Elizabeth MacKinlay, Spiritual Growth and Care in the Fourth Age of Life (London: Jessica
Kingsley Publishers, 2006), 137.

PASTORAL R ITUALS AND L IFE -C YCLE T HEMES

241

ritual-making where the purpose of a ritual is to be cathartic, a way of releasing

tension or pain . . . to invoke the presence of divinity or . . . to bridge the gulf
between the human and physical world and the world of spirit and the unseen.5
Psychiatrist and family researcher Jerry Lewis suggests that if one wants to know
what is central to a familys sense of its self, it may be best provided by a knowledge of the family rituals.6 Lewis afrms the insights of anthropology explored
later in this chapter through the lens of pastoral theology.7
The spiritual journey of mid-life, indeed the formation of pastoral carers,
echoes Easter themes as we integrate the struggle, mercy and grace of the journey of the Divine, (for some it is the cycle and mystery of nature) alongside our
humanity. Transition through the stages of the life-cycle should prepare us for the
tasks of later life where death and life confront us more clearly. Deeper growth
emerges as we explore with others the spiritual dimensions of pastoral mutuality where we can join [a] person in seeking revelation and believing that a way
will open up that is not yet clearly seen8 Our insights and discoveries develop
in community, in pastoral engagements, in conversation with peers and mentors
or in robust exploration with supervisors or spiritual directors. Our experience of
grief and reection upon ritual is often the bridge to great self-discovery. Evelyn
and James Whitehead write that sadness, grief and ordinary (rather than clinical)
depression can alert us that something has become intolerable. Such passages of
loss and seasons of regret invite us to re-examine our life; [their] misery motivates us to face a challenge or a loss we have been avoiding; it can ready us for
mature grieving and change.9
Mid-life and the later years prepare us for an appreciation of life and death
in which the integration of losses and the celebration of new understanding
emerge as a major theme. Reection upon accumulated loss, the extending journey through the life-cycle and the challenges of integrating these experiences are
very much a part of preparing to care for others. Teaching in a context of pastoral formation, practical theology and theological eld education leads me to
observe in twenty, thirty and forty year olds similar, though less extensive, patterns of growth and reection to the ones that I experience in my fties. I am
5

8
9

Michael Northcott, New Age Rites: the Recovery of Ritual, The Way, Vol. 33, No. 3 (1993),
191.
Jerry Lewis, The Monkey-Rope: A Psychotherapists Reections on Relationships (New York:
Bernel, 1996), 141.
For an early introduction see Arnold van Gennep, The Rites of Passage (trans. Monika B. Vizedom and Gabrielle L. Caffee; Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1908, 1960). For a later
discussion see Victor Turner, The Ritual Process (London: Routledge and Keegan Paul, 1969).
Robert Wicks and Thomas Rodgerson, Companions in Hope (New York: Paulist, 1998), 60.
Evelyn Whitehead and James Whitehead, Seasons of Strength: New Visions of Adult Christian
Maturing (Winona: St. Marys Press, 1995), 7.

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very conscious of the relevance of Wilfred McSherrys statement that the spirituality of identity, vocation and reection is not a separate entity that can be turned
on or off at the touch of a switch because it is continually present, whether we
are conscious of this or not.10 McSherry argues that by fostering our own spiritual awareness we will be more focused and receptive to those who may have
a spiritual concern and hopefully, self-awareness generated through reection,
critical analysis and appraisal of oneself and experiences can then add maturity
and compassion to our service of others.11 The same integrated outcome can be
true of our ritual awareness: If you are mindful of your actions, you will see the
ritual patterns. If you see the patterns you may understand them. If you understand
them, you may enrich them.12 This chapter seeks to encourage pastoral carers to
become more conscious of the role of ritual in their own lives if they wish to use
or develop ritual in their care for others. Evan Imber-Black and Janine Roberts
evaluate ritual from the perspective of research into family therapy. They ask:13
How will we afrm our rituals or identify where some crisis has interrupted
sustaining rituals?
How will we nd the energy and courage to assert what gives us life and remove
frozen rituals or challenge the obligatory rituals that oppress and diminish our
sense of self?
What rituals are fresh and new and what has disappeared that we mourn or feel
angry about?
If I can engage emotionally and cognitively in a review of the rituals in my own
life (often with a supervisor or spiritual director) then my pastoral practice and
sensitivity will be enhanced accordingly. Imber-Black and Roberts suggest we
start with ourselves. Whether the ritual style in your life now is minimised, interrupted, rigid, obligatory, imbalanced, or exible, or some combination of these
styles across various categories of rituals, you can examine your rituals and determine if they are meeting your relationship needs, or whether you want to try
changing some of the patterns.14
This chapter argues that our use of ritual in a pastoral context and our ability
to explore the needs of others in a sensitive and creative way is strongly linked to
our own capacity for reection. It may not matter a great deal whether we simply use a single Prayer Book and the same denominational resources all the time
10

11
12
13

14

Wilfred McSherry, Making Sense of Spirituality in Nursing and Healthcare Practice (London:
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2006), 89.
McSherry, Making Sense of Spirituality in Nursing and Healthcare Practice, 164.
Fulghum, From Beginning to End, vi.
Evan Imber-Black and Janine Roberts, Rituals for our Time: Celebrating, Healing and Changing our Lives and our Relationships (New York: Harper Collins, 1992), 5778.
Imber-Black and Roberts, Rituals for our Times, 75.

PASTORAL R ITUALS AND L IFE -C YCLE T HEMES

243

or create an eclectic pot-pourri from a variety of traditions or caring disciplines,

religious or otherwise. However it does matter what pastoral skills and sensitivities, professional safeguards and sound ritual theory we use to develop ritual and
worship responses to the multiple pastoral issues presented by those we minister
to and with.

Develop an awareness of ritual process

My early and ongoing formation in pastoral care owes much to writers who explored the theological and socio-political implications of ritual.15 While some
writers engaged the pastoral and theological application,16 others developed creative and inclusive rituals, prayers and responses.17 These writers and others have
been my companions in pastoral/theological conversation in response to the challenge of the suggestion that people:
. . . are seeking to reinstate ritual as a source of spiritual identity, or collective
action and belonging, and of personal and social transformation;
. . . have taken up many of the functions and characteristics of ritual as it operated in primal, pre-modern cultures and re-engaged it with the quest for individual meaning and psychological well-being in the ux and mle of social
and cultural life which represent the experience of modernity;
. . . create rituals which reect the smrgsbord character of the religious ideology and the symbol structure of the New Age, drawing upon many different
spiritual paths and religious systems . . . 18
Ministers, pastoral carers and chaplains commonly use counseling/listening skills
and theological reection in order to adjust the style, content, form and metaphors
15

16

17

18

Consider the eschatological dimensions of worship and ritual in Jrgen Moltmann, The Church
in the Power of the Spirit (London: SCM, 1977), 261275. For a pastoral approach to the
Christian sacraments as the performance of freedom see Tom Driver, The Magic of Ritual: Our
need for Liberating Rites that Transform our Lives and our Communities (San Franciso: Harper
Collins, 1991), 195222.
For a ritual response to communities and individuals experiencing a number of challenges from
divorce to disability see Elaine Ramshaw, Ritual and Pastoral Care (Philadelphia: Fortress,
1987). For another early text on Church-based practice with clear pastoral/ liturgical themes see
William Willimon, Worship as Pastoral Care (Nashville: Abingdon, 1979). A sound integration
of pastoral theology, biblical narrative and ritual is developed in Herbert Anderson and Edward
Foley, Mighty Stories, Dangerous Ritual (Jossey-Bass: San Francisco, 1998).
Janet Morley, All Desires Known (London: Morehouse Publishing, 2006). Hannah Ward and
Jennifer Wilde, Human Rites: Worship Resources for an Age of Change (London: Mowbray,
1995). Margie Abbott, Sparks of the Cosmos: Rituals for Seasonal Use (Adelaide: Mediacom,
2001). Frances S. Goulart, God has no Religion: Blending Traditions for Prayer (Notre Dame,
Indiana: Sarin Books, 2005).
Michael Northcott, New Age Rites: The Recovery of Ritual, 195196.

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of a particular ritual to meet the needs, culture, context and wishes of the person
or family. There has been for many years a greater willingness to move beyond
the traditional, pre-constructed religious rituals of various prayer books while still
valuing them as a core resource characterised by great beauty of form, theological
insight, transcendent wisdom and literary grace. Over twenty years ago, Ramshaw
identied the shifting nexus between formal, communal ritual and an individualised pastoral creativity. The conict many people see between ritual and an
empathic response to individual needs has often been created by poor pastoral
practice.19 This can lead religious practitioners either to actively oppress and disempower others or neglectfully ignore deeper needs and the search for meaning
and spiritual insight. In a seminary, one of the goals of pastoral formation is to
impart to students an understanding of reective practice that involves both listening and praying, empathy and ritual and thus ensure that the false dichotomy
between Ramshaws ritualists and counsellors may dissolve.20
As a new pastor/counsellor in the late 1970s I appreciated William Willimons
cautionary note from C.S. Lewis who wrote that our call was to feed my sheep
not run experiments on my rats.21 With this warning in mind a number of foundational guidelines explicate ritual theory but within pastoral practice the section
that follows considers Moltmanns theology of eschatological hope in the context
of ritual and worship.22 It also afrms Stephen Pattisons assertion that pastoral
care as a discipline should not be relegated to an ancillary, almost optional and
unconsidered, place in ecclesial practice and academic theology.23

Develop a facility with the practice of ritual

I have developed a pastoral checklist that originates in a dialogue between theology and the social sciences and also incorporates the insights of pastoral theology
and ritual theory.
1. Historical continuity (Security).
2. Indicative character (Meaning).
3. Ritual frameworks incorporate social signicance (Belonging).
4. The human purposes of ritual.
5. The reality of pastoral power.
6. Practical guidelines.
19
20
21
22
23

Ramshaw, Ritual and Pastoral Care, 55.

Ramshaw, Ritual and Pastoral Care, 56.
Willimon, Worship as Pastoral Care, 17.
Moltmann, The Church in the Power of the Spirit, 261275.
Stephen Pattison, Is Pastoral Care Dead in a Mission-led Church?, Practical Theology, Vol.
1.1, (2008), 710.

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245

Historical continuity (Security)

Rituals serve as a buffer to the impact of the apparent speed and crisis of change
and provide a sense of security when everything else seems to be disrupted or
unstable. For many residents in an aged care facility there is a predictable comfort in the regular visits of trusted persons, the volunteer who reads letters or a
favourite book every Wednesday, and a quiet prayer or blessing offered at the end
of a weekly service of worship. Observation of anniversaries, seasons, birthdays
and times of remembrance helps to regulate the rhythm of life and anticipate a
moment when the ritual will be enacted once more. As the past is engaged and
brought into the present moment the participant in worship or ritual often experiences a sense of ordering this future dimension that in turn becomes what I would
describe as a midwife to hope. Betty, frail and terminally ill, describes two rituals that sustain herone obviously religious, the other a habit of a lifetime. My
favourite magazine has arrived and Jean will be here soon to do the crossword
with me. She writes the words in for me. Im not enjoying the treatment at the
moment but Jean and my crossword get me through. MacKinlay highlights the
value of ritual in an environment of aged care24 and afrms what Friedman describes as the concept of orienting anchor in phases of distress or transition.25 I
have observed that people are often grateful for the anchor effect of either religious or long-term personal and social ritual as the emotional storms rage in a
crisis. The implication of orienting suggests that effective or accurately-located
ritual will enable a person to take a compass reading with a view to continuing
their journey towards a yet-to-be-experienced horizon. Betty told me about another important ritual: Our little worship service on a Friday is something Id
hate to miss. Even when Im too sick to go I know theyre praying for me. One
day I wont be there at all, you know what I mean. Thats ok, its what is supposed to happentaxes and death. Theyll still be there. Betty has identied two
important rituals that sustain her in the present; one social, the other religious, but
both deeply spiritual because they are linked to Bettys identity, sense of wellbeing and awareness of hope. She has also linked the traditions that have been
a part of her life in the past (historical continuity) with her inner sense of peace
about an unknown future. There is an element of personal commitment to the two
rituals that have sustained her for many years. Her frailty has invited others in to
share these special moments but the essence of future-ordering hope continues to
be expressed in each ritual. Bettys experience seems to indicate that a personal
24
25

MacKinlay, Spiritual Growth and Care in the Fourth Age of Life, 137.
Dayle A. Friedman, An Anchor Amidst Anomie: Ritual and Aging, in Melvin A. Kimble and
Susan H. McFadden (eds), Aging, Spirituality and Religion: A Handbook, Volume 2 (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2003), 135.

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belief system and accompanying values and attitudes can bring hope in . . . the
future or, from a religious perspective such as life everlasting, enabl[e] individuals
to draw strength from their convictions and commitment.26 Repetition is neither
meaningless nor boring. Bettys present is linked to her past and her future seems
orderedthe rhythm of ritual has done its job. Effective carers will observe and
take note and they will respect all meaning-making and liberating rituals, be they
social or religious.

Indicative character (Meaning)

Ritual therefore invites us to remembrance, to hope, or to a new page in life that
may even be prompted by our anticipated death,27 and through this process, continually serves to afrm and reafrm meaning. Relevance in the present emerges
because the ritual becomes the symbol that points beyond itself. However the ritual must be interpreted within the culture and family system to which it belongs
or from which it develops. What we have grown up with is both familiar and
will be the vehicle of meaning for us. To be deprived of this may be particularly
distressing.28 In effective pastoral care the partner-disciplines of psychology and
family studies reinforce the need to engage people in pastoral conversation prior
to exploration of the use of ritual, whether pre-constructed or yet to be created.
Taking some time to tell stories about previous rituals is another way to draw
people into the process of ritual reection, and ultimately broader participation.29
It is neither appropriate nor advisable to assume that a ritual approach is desired
by all people but I need to be informed and guided by peoples stories and open
to all possibilities or the end result may be more about my meaning rather than
the residents or parishioners meaning. Consider the ritual of prayer. Ramshaws
description of the tension that exists for the pastoral carer is helpful. The split
between ritualists and counsellors has gone so deep that, at the other extreme
from the unempathic ritualist, one nds the [carer] who listens and listens and
never prays. This may be appropriate in some situations . . . but as a constant
strategy it can be just as much a means of avoidance as unasked-for ritualizing.30
I suspect that clergy or chaplains in the past may have felt that the task of
ritual-making belonged exclusively to them and perhaps they even believed that
discussion on the topic might be too much for the resident or parishioner. In reality, Betty became my instructor in her world of meaning, symbol and ritual as
26
27
28
29
30

McSherry, Making Sense of Spirituality in Nursing and Health Care Practice, 56.
Moltmann, The Church in the Power of the Spirit, 263.
MacKinlay, Spiritual Growth and Care in the Fourth Age of Life, 136.
Imber-Black and Roberts, Rituals for our Times, 294.
Ramshaw, Ritual and Pastoral Care, 56.

PASTORAL R ITUALS AND L IFE -C YCLE T HEMES

247

together we prepared a small service in which she would hand over her rings
(wedding and engagement) to her two daughters.
The two rings
Betty is 89. Her husband died many years ago and until her fall she lived independently.
She has two daughters nearby and one son interstate. The daughters provide excellent care
through visiting and companionship. Betty wants to sell her house and nd a permanent
home that suits her level of health. Complicating illnesses have developed and Bettys
doctor has indicated that Betty may not get through. One daughter is realistic but the
other keeps insisting that mum will one day go home. For Betty, each day becomes a difcult journey of adjusting to the two perspectives of her daughters. Her honest talks with
her doctor have revealed to her what she suspected. She is failing rapidly and her doctor
is talking in terms of months. One daughter refuses to acknowledge this and the other,
who accepts the situation and talks to her mother about it, is becoming more frustrated as
the days go by. Betty talks to you as her pastoral carer. She wants to pass her rings on to
her daughters hoping that the meaning will be apparent for the one who is struggling. She
asks you to pray as she does this. You have taken this conversation on to the point where
she sees the value of a small service or ritual. Betty has a realistic, practical and rm
faith. She attends the Chapel service when she can and she misses her local Church. The
daughters do not express their faith overtly or attend Church but they own, respect, value
and support their mothers faith. Betty wants you to run the service and says Youll
know what to do. Ive thought about it a lot since we talked and Im so worried about my
daughter. I think it will help her. You know Ill be saying goodbye, dont you, and this is
the only way I can?

This scenario prompts a number of questions.

1. How do I negotiate the power I have been given? How do I best use Bettys
trust?
2. How will I involve the daughters as we work on the service? If the planning
time that precedes a ritual can be as important as the ritual itself31 how do
I work with the obvious love and intimacy that already exists for these three
women?
3. No matter how much trust I have been given, to what extent is the pastoral
carer always a welcome stranger who is invited to walk on the holy ground of
peoples stories?
4. Should I seek to confront the issues directly or will I run with the mothers less
confrontational approach, let the ritual do its work and then see what develops?
5. All rituals need some sort of statement of purpose. What is the purpose of this
ritual and who will articulate this? If ritual is the symbol that points beyond
itself what is the meaning that becomes present in an accentuated way?32
31
32

Imber-Black and Roberts, Rituals for our Times, 83.

Moltmann, The Church in the Power of the Spirit, 264.

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A LAN N IVEN

A ritual framework incorporates social signicance

Friedmans orienting anchor also owes much to a sense of participation that
is enhanced by the reduction of isolation and the building of community. Moltmann afrms that every ritual stands in a framework of social coherences and
also establishes social coherences and thus changes in our role and identity can
be delineated.33 In other words, as people observe our rituals they see who we are
or are becoming, our identity and character is expressed and our belief systems
are portrayed. In ritual all take their parts in a collective dance or dramait involves an inner consent and an outer submission to the forms and rhythms of the
rite . . . Ritual also involves the breaking of the usual boundaries and hierarchies
of social lifewhat Victor Turner calls the liminal moment where identities are
fused and social status is temporarily abrogated.34 Driver draws upon the anthropological work of Van Gennep and Turner and locates the three phases to this
processseparation, liminality, and reincorporationwithin a context of community (communitas) and relationship.35
Separation
Symbolic behaviour signies the detachment of the individual or group from the
wider group. In a wedding a couple separates from their family of origin and their
parents in particular, often with some gesture of recognition that the moment is
symbolic of leaving and cleaving. A young scout, prior to his investiture, will
cross a symbolic river to stand apart from the pack. The worker recently made
redundant is invited to come forward to receive a gift from his peers after clearing
his tools from his locker. Each week, Betty comes out from the daily life of her
aged care community to join a small group of fellow-worshippers for one hour of
sacred time.
Liminality
During this phase the characteristics of the subject are ambiguous because participants are in a process of change or transition. People stand on the threshhold
(Latinlimen) of a new role, identity or, in Bettys daughters case, a new understanding of her relationship with her mother. During the ritual we have left the past
and we do not yet have the attributes, insights or awareness of our future state. The
bride and groom in a wedding service pause in that pre-celebratory space before
they are announced to be husband and wife. The scout has not yet stepped back
to rejoin his awaiting peers and enact among them his new privileges. The worker
33
34
35

Moltmann, The Church in the Power of the Spirit, 264.

Northcott, New Age Rites, 191.
Driver, The Magic of Ritual, 157165.

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249

stands before his peers as he prepares to leave his workplace, acknowledges the
gift as a parting symbol of what they have shared together and speaks a few words
about what he may see as the future. At the pivotal point in our ritual of the two
rings (as they were taken off and handed over) Bettys daughter began to cry. The
whole experience in her mothers hospital room had seemed what she described
as surreal (or liminal) until that moment when the meaning dawned. These insights had been frozen in denial and now conspired with the movements of the
ritual to create an atmosphere where she felt something was about to happen.
The something was the arrival of a truth where her tears of present and anticipatory grief were met by the embrace of her mother and sister as they comforted her.
The daughter now has the task of moving on from this liminal point and choosing
to live in her new state of being.
Reincorporation
After the consummation of the rite of passage or ritual, the person is redened in
a new state with fresh rights and obligations. Identied and introduced as husband
and wife the couple walk forward to be greeted, welcomed and accepted into their
community in a new role. The scout rejoins his peers and exercises his new status.
The newly-retired worker moves on, conscious that he no longer belongs to the
group and leaves as a member of society with a different role. Bettys daughter
begins to live in a world where she is confronted with the reality that her mother
will not be present in the same ways she has known.
What is the signicance of our own story for our reective practice? As we
stand at the liminal, transitional, feeling-lled and intense moment between separation and reincorporation at many points in our lives (often crisis points and rites
of passage) we are at our most individuated because we are unsure to whom we
belong, who we are or how we will cope. Hopefully our reection will lead us to
deal more wisely and sensitively with those in our care whenever we remember in
glimpses of mutuality the vulnerability, fragility and paradox of those moments.

The human purposes of ritual

I often ask this question when supervising: How do the rituals in your life work
for you? The discussion will then be based on a number of themes as we focus on
rituals that address relating, changing, healing, believing and celebrating.36 I then
invite the student to identify and explore key issues where their own experience
can enrich their practice.
36

Imber-Black and Roberts, Rituals for our time, 2656.

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A LAN N IVEN

Relating. Rituals provide an opportunity to shape, express and maintain relationships. We then discuss together the major life-cycle shifts and identify what
rituals worked or didnt work.
Changing. During transitions we use rituals to create and indicate for ourselves and others the changes we are accepting or grappling with. I invite the
student to identify the emotional, spiritual and practical support they received and
ask them to apply the insights to a case study from their own practice.
Healing. Rituals can facilitate the recovery process after loss, times of trauma
or relationship breakdown. I invite the student to write a story of some form of
healing they have experienced and describe the people, places, times and seasons
before identifying any ritual or liturgical aspects. In the case of chaplains or pastoral carers, theological reection will lead us to consider biblical and theological
insights and resources.
Believing. Rituals express and give voice to life-beliefs even as we explore the
meaning of that belief. One of the functions of ritual is to mark the pathways for
morality to follow.37 I invite reection on the meaning for them of rituals such as
prayer, blessings, anointing, listening as faithful companioning, presence, silence,
touch, the sacred, or communion. Fulghum notes: If you are mindful of your
actions, you will see the ritual patterns . . . In this way, the habits of a lifetime
become sacred.38 I ask the student to write-up a ritual they have used and identify
the contours and shapes of belief.
Celebrating. Rituals provide an opportunity to afrm and recognise with joy
and thanksgiving all aspects of our lives. It is satisfying when supervisees begin
to apprehend dimensions of thanksgiving in the simple rituals of sleeping and
waking, restored health, a walk with the dog, a meal on the table, employment
or even a completed assignment! Shopping, mowing the lawn, hospital visiting,
tending plants, reading or writing become the stuff of ritual that enables us to
celebrate who we are. I have observed that this discipline enables carers to develop
rituals that ow naturally and unselfconsciously out of the ordinary. Whether the
pastoral carer uses a Prayer Book or a Poetry Book, a pre-constructed ritual or a
collaborative gem, the people they care for will dwell comfortably in the meaning
and ow of the ritual.

37
38

Driver, The Magic of Ritual, 33.

Fulghum, From Beginning to End, vi.

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251

The reality of pastoral power

There is often a power crisis as we develop skills in communication in ritualmaking. Habermas concept of communicative competence challenges ritual makers to embody the following dynamics:39
1. Offer each person a roughly equal opportunity to speak and contribute. How
often does this happen when someone approaches a minister, a priest, a pastoral
carer or a celebrant?
2. Demonstrate a balanced subject/object role during the dynamics of interaction.
This is seen in the ability to inuence events such as choice of ritual, decisions on time and place and as to whether or not the various parties are free to
participate or not. Consider some of the rituals that you have developed or participated in. Have they incorporated the hallmarks of a collaborative exercise?
3. Demonstrate a symmetry of complementary modes. Eg. speaking and listening, questioning and answering, concealing and revealing. This will indicate
whether or not people even connect with us as human beings. How mutual is
the encounter and who has control?
4. The same rules and norms apply to all participants and no participant has any
privileged position. We can only speak of each person being valued for their
unique contribution to the process. There is nothing wrong with one person
having more experience, education or expertise but are the dynamics expressive
of values we cherish such as equality, shalom, freedom of expression or justicemaking?
What happened for Betty? She began by saying youll know what to do. The
process concluded with Betty choosing the readings and prayers from selections
I brought, organising a private space with the nurse, ordering afternoon tea for us
all and deciding exactly how she would hand over the rings and what she would
say. She asked for comment on some aspects of grief and asked me to open with
a statement of purpose that we drew up together. I closed with a prayer and a
blessing as mother and daughters held hands with each other. I was very conscious
of being a privileged guest.
Consider the dynamics of the following case-study where another face of
power becomes apparentthe hierarchy of care-givers that sometimes inhibits the
community of care-giving.
A case-study in sharing power
I received a phone call from a nurse (Paul) in an aged-care facility. He explained that
James was dying and asked me to come and pray. He had known James for a number
of years and James had asked him to ensure that prayers would be offered at the end
39

Jrgen Habermas, Communication and the Evolution of Society (Boston: Beacon Press, 1979),
5758.

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A LAN N IVEN

of his life. However no minister was available and his remaining family lived interstate.
Upon arrival I saw that James had placed a screen around the bed. A table was laid with a
white cloth, a lit candle, an open bible and owers. Classical music played softly. James
hair was neatly combed. His breathing was erratic and the doctor had just left. Paul was
extremely fond of his elderly patient and when I arrived he explained the context again
and quietly prepared to withdraw. I asked if he would like to stay. He nodded, drew the
curtains and waited. I began to open the books I had brought and invited him to read one
of the passages of Scripture. He paused and then nodded so I also indicated one of the
prayers that focused on Gods continuing care for James beyond death. Is that ok? he
asked. If you would like to, I replied. We shared the ritual. Paul read Scripture, prayed
and assisted me in a simple service as James quietly took his nal breaths.

I believe our companionship created a sense of community that also embraced

James. I wondered about other occasions when through busyness, insecurity, insensitivity or tiredness I may have lost the opportunity to express Turners twin
concepts of liminality and communitas.40 These concepts describe moments when
ritual serves to diffuse hierarchy, equalise power, create unity and level social
structure.
Questions for reection:
How would I describe my role?
Who should be the facilitator of the ritual?
How often do those with pastoral power assume the compliance of
others without really thinking? How does the role of the expert
impoverish the care we offer?
What and cultural issues collude with the way we use power?
I could ask many more questions but Driver sums up my thoughts. Ritual is the
license we give one another and our spirituality to don bright colours and move
in circles and claim this moment as kairos. Only where there is death does ritual
cease. Without it we literally die.41

Practical guidelines
The following guidelines incorporate pastoral insights from the perspective of a
practitioner.42
1. Discuss the key issue with all parties and just imagine for a while what a
ritual response might entail.
40
41
42

Turner, The Ritual Process, 42.

Driver, The Magic of Ritual, 9.
For deeper application: Kenneth Mitchell, Ritual in Pastoral Care, Journal of Pastoral Care,
Vol. 43, (1989), 6877.

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253

2. Think of others who could perform or participate in the ritual. While respecting the role of appropriate experts remember that life experience or special
relationships may be qualications we sometimes overlook.
3. Allow the stories and metaphors of each person to be offered and valued.
Within this context enable those involved to work collaboratively with you
in the design of the ritual. Do not force your religious presuppositions on others but remember it is ok for you to express your spiritual values. It may end
up that you enable a person to be more true to their beliefs by NOT having a
chaplain or pastor.
4. You may give guidance on the form of the ritual or worship event but it is good
to enable and resource others as they develop, draft and design the content.
5. Remember that a ritual may have many different and signicant meanings for
each participant. A similar issue may occur for other parties but meaning is not
necessarily transferable.
6. For those whose practice on a one-on-one basis leads to the use of ritual it is
important to be cautious. Community rituals or those involving a number of
people have fewer inherent risks and more checks and balances.
7. The reality of pastoral boundaries and incidents of abuse have challenged the
ministry of touch but careful practice and rituals such as anointing or blessing
are valuable resources.
8. As already noted, there has been a greater willingness to move beyond the traditional, pre-constructed religious rituals we nd in a Prayer Book. We must
still value them as a core resource characterised by great beauty of form, theological insight, transcendent wisdom and literary grace.

Conclusion
I leave the nal words to Robert Fulghums Propositions on Ritual:
To be human is to be religiousTo be religious is to be mindful
To be mindful is to pay attentionTo pay attention is to sanctify existence
Rituals are one way in which attention is paid
Rituals arise from the ages and stages of life
Rituals transform the ordinary into the holy
Rituals may be public, private or secretRituals may be spontaneous or arranged
Rituals are constantly evolving and reforming
Rituals create sacred timeSacred time is the dwelling place of the eternal
Haste and ambition are the adversaries of sacred time. Is this so?43
43

Fulghum, From Beginning to End, 20.

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Authors

Carr, John:
Rev. Dr., Pastoral Therapist and Counsellor, Lecturer St.Stephens College,
Edmonton, Canada
Durie, Sir Mason:
Psychiatrist, Professor, Massey University, Auckland, New Zealand
Divett, Diane:
Counsellor, Researcher, Pastor, Auckland, New Zealand
Elsdrfer, Ulrike:
Rev. Dr., Lecturer of Intercultural Anthropology, Frankfurt University, Germany
Gothni, Raili:
Professor of Pastoral Care and Counselling, University of Helsinki, Finland
Ito, Takaaki David:
Professor of Spiritual Care, St. Andrews Momoyama Gakuin University,
Japan
Kettunen, Paavo:
Professor of Practical Theology, University of Eastern Finland, Joensuu, Finland
Komma, Heike:
Supervisor Pastoral Psychology, Elder Care, Bayreuth, Germany
Koskela, Harri:
PhD Student in Practical Theology, University of Eastern Finland, Joensuu,
Finland
Louw, Daniel:
Professor of Practical Theology and CPE, University of Stellenbosch, South
Africa
Niven, Alan:
Rev. Dr., Lecturer, Pastoral and Family Studies, Melbourne College of Divinity, Australia

256
Sathler-Rosa, Ronaldo:
Professor of Pastoral Care and Counselling, Methodist University of Sao
Paulo, Brazil
Simmonds, Anne:
Rev. Dr., Professor, Emmanuel Theological College, Toronto, Canada
Sundberg,Lars Gran:
Professor of Practical Theology, Johannelunds Theological University College, Uppsala, Sweden
Tiano, Noel:
ThD, BCC, Team Manager, Otago Mental Health, Dunedin New Zealand
van der Watt, Stephan:
Rev. Dr., Researcher, University of Stellenbosch, South Africa; Missionary
Minister, Tokushima City, Japan
Walton, Martin:
Lecturer in Spiritual Care, Protestanse Theologische Universiteit, Kampen,
The Netherlands