The Ren & Stimpy Show

Law and Order

Season 2

Written by
Preetom Bhattacherjea

Twitter: @PreetomB
#aSpecAday
www.reddit.com/r/aSpecAday

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

1.

ACT ONE
INT. TRAILER HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
STIMPY is glued to the TV watching The Muddy Mudskipper Show,
sitting inches away from the television. REN is sitting
behind him on the couch, his elbow on the couchs side,
resting his head on his hand. He is clearly bored. A VOICE is
heard coming from the television.
VOICE
Hey, boys and girls! Youre just hours
away from the final episode of The
Muddy Mudskipper.
Stimpy shrieks and starts biting his nails. MUDDY MUDSKIPPER
can be heard on the television at this point in the
background.
MUDDY MUDSKIPPER
Im sick and tired of this garbage,
you hear me? Im done.
VOICE
Enjoy watching some of our previous
episodes in the meantime, because they
are never going to air again.
Stimpy grabs his top eyelids and pulls them back. He holds
them as he rocks back and forth frantically.
MUDDY MUDSKIPPER
The kids? What about the kids? You can
tell them all to bug off.
VOICE
Stay tuned! I hope youve got your
eyes wide open to catch your final
glimpses of the greatest mudskipper of
them all!
Stimpy grabs his eyelids and pulls them back even further
over his head. The inside of his head can be seen where two
human-looking roaches, wearing hard hats and overalls, are
using pickaxes to shape a piece of black marble into a brain.
ROACH 1 and ROACH 2 look at the viewer.
ROACH 1
Hey, what do you think youre doing?
ROACH 2
Beat it, buddy. Were working here.

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

Law and Order

11/11/2014

2.

Stimpy lets go of his eyelids and they snap back into place.
His eyes fill up with water and he starts crying.
ROACH 1
Im getting soaked, I cant work like
this.
ROACH 2
Im taking a break, lets get out of
here.
The two roaches climb out of Stimpys ear and jump to the
ground. They are holding their pickaxes in one hand and steel
lunch pails in the other. They look over at Stimpy, who is
crying, Roach 1 shakes his head, and they both exit.
REN
Stimpy, whats wrong? You love The
Muddy Mudskipper Show. And theyre
going to show hours of it.
STIMPY
But they said its ending, and its
the last time Ill ever get to see
him.
REN
Thats okay. Im sure there will be
other mudskippers to take his place.
STIMPY
But they wont be the GREATEST
mudskipper.
Stimpy starts wailing.
REN
Ive got an idea. You watch your shows
today, and tomorrow well go out and
find copies of all the episodes. That
way youll get to keep them forever.
Stimpy stops crying and looks at Ren.
STIMPY
But Ren, isnt getting copies of a TV
program just like stealing?

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

3.

REN
No, its just a suggestion. Like when
the news asks if you know where your
children are. You dont really have to
check.
Stimpys facial expression goes from sad immediately to
overjoyed. He squeals in delight.
STIMPY
Thats amazing, I cant wait!
REN
Alright now, watch your mudskipper.
Ive got to catch up on current
events. Like an adult
Ren takes out a newspaper and opens it up. The front page
headline says MUDDY THE MUDSKIPPER LEAVES SHOW, HATES KIDS.
Stimpy goes back to watching the TV from an inch away. The
intro music to The Muddy the Mudskipper Show begins.
INT. TRAILER HOME - BEDROOM - MORNING - D2
Stimpy is sitting next to Rens side of the bed in his
pajamas, staring at him, smiling.
STIMPY
Ren?
Ren doesnt open his eyes.
REN
Stimpy, go back to sleep.
STIMPY
Ren?
Ren uses his pillow to cover his ears.
REN
I said go back to sleep.
STIMPY
Ren?
Ren opens his eyes, they are completely bloodshot. They have
eye-boogers around the eyelashes. He slowly turns his head to
Stimpy, who is still staring at Ren, smiling.

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

Law and Order

11/11/2014

4.

REN
(screaming)
What is it, man?
STIMPY
Well, you said we could go out and get
copies of the show today.
Ren grabs his alarm clock off of the side table and looks at
it.
REN
Stimpy, its 6 oclock. All of the
criminals have been up all night going
to parties. They need their sleep too.
STIMPY
(pleading)
But you said that we can go today.
REN
We will, just wait a few hours. Give
your eyes some rest. Theyre probably
turning to goo from all the television
youve been watching.
A close-up of Stimpy shows that his eyes are slightly
melting.
STIMPY
Alright, Ren.
Stimpy mopes back to his side of the bed and hops in.
INT. TRAILER HOME - MORNING - LATER - D2
A close-up of Rens clock shows the time changing from 8:59AM
to 9 oclock. Ren leans up, yawns, and stretches. He looks
over to his side and sees that Stimpy is in the same position
as before, sitting at his bedside, staring and smiling.
STIMPY
Is it time to go now?
REN
(yawning)
Yeah, yeah. Lets go.

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

Law and Order

11/11/2014

5.

EXT. ALLEY - MORNING - LATER - D2

Ren and Stimpy walk into the alley and see a STOCKY MAN
wearing a trench coat and hat. The man is standing against a
brick wall, looking around at his surroundings continuously.
REN
Hey, that guy looks pretty shady.
Maybe he can help us out.
STIMPY
Okay, lets go.
Ren and Stimpy approach the man and stand beside him, against
the brick wall. They start to look around just like the man
is.
REN
Hey there, buddy.
STOCKY MAN
(in a gruff voice)
Whats up there, guy.
The man continues looking around, not focusing on Ren and
Stimpy.
REN
You see, were looking for something.
STOCKY MAN
What kind of something?
STIMPY
(in a hushed tone)
Were looking for some videos.
The man then looks at them and smiles.
STOCKY MAN
Now youre speaking my language.
The man reaches into his trench coat and pulls out a table,
with displays of different movies and television shows.
STIMPY
(eyes glistening)
Wowwww.

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

Law and Order

11/11/2014

6.

STOCKY MAN
What do you need? How about some
Family Feud? Got the entire Richard
Dawson collection.
REN
Well be back for that another time.
Today were looking for something
else.
STOCKY MAN
I got Unsolved Mysteries, Americas
Most Wanted, MTVs Spring BreakSTIMPY
Were looking for The Muddy the
Mudskipper Show.
STOCKY MAN
Oh, that kids show?
STIMPY
Actually, its approved for all
audiences.
STOCKY MAN
Yeah, I got that. Just last night. The
complete collection. Didnt think Id
be able to get rid of it.
The man hands a stack of videos over to Stimpy. Stimpy looks
them up and down joyfully.
REN
How much do we owe you?
STOCKY MAN
Hows about 400 bucks.
REN
Ill give you 50.
STOCKY MAN
I see this isnt your first
negotiation. You got a deal.
Ren reaches into a skin flap on his body and takes out the
cash. He hands it over to the man.
STOCKY MAN (CONT'D)
Pleasure doing business with you.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

7.

As soon as the transaction is completed, two very large

policemen run down the alley. Only their gigantic chests and
down is visible. They approach with nightsticks in their
hands and POLICEMAN 1 hits Stimpy over the head. Stimpy
appears to deflate and the videos fall all over the alley.
REN
(angrily)
Hey, watch it, thats my friend youre
beating.
POLICEMAN 2 then hits Ren over the head with his nightstick,
causing Rens teeth to crack from the force. The stocky man
quickly grabs his large video setup and shoves it back into
his trench coat.
STOCKY MAN
Im out of here!
POLICEMAN 1
Ren Hoek.
POLICEMAN 2
Stimpson J. Cat.
POLICEMAN 1
Youre both under arrest for being a
party to an illegal transaction of
copyrighted material.
STIMPY
Ren, I thought you said it wasnt
illegal.
REN
When I said illegal, I meant loosely
enforced.
(to the officers)
Come on fellas, Im sure we can work
something out.
Ren pulls his skin flap out slightly to show a wad of cash.
Policeman 1 jabs Ren in the torso with his nightstick, the
shape of the tip can be seen poking out of Rens back.
POLICEMAN 2
Well have to add Attempting to Bribe
a Police Officer to those charges. We
take our jobs very seriously. Lets
get these two down to the station.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script
POLICEMAN 1
Can we run the siren?
POLICEMAN 2
Yes, yes we can.

END OF ACT ONE

8.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

9.

ACT TWO
INT. PRISON - OFFICE - DAY - D2
Ren and Stimpy are getting their mug-shots taken by an old
woman, GLADYS. They are looking forward at the camera. Ren
looks miserable, Stimpy has a large grin on his face.
GLADYS
To your left.
Ren and Stimpy face their left. A picture is taken.
GLADYS (CONT'D)
To your right.
Ren and Stimpy face their right. A picture is taken.
GLADYS (CONT'D)
You two seem like good boys, whatd
you do to end up here?
REN
(sheepishly)
We bought some videotapes.
GLADYS
Some of those videotapes, huh? And I
thought you were gentlemen.
STIMPY
I just wanted to watch The Muddy the
Mudskipper Show!
GLADYS
Oh, those videotapes. Im sure you two
will be fine. A couple good guys, no
priors. Just be respectful to the
judge and youll be out of here in no
time.
CUT TO:
INT. COURTROOM - DAY - D2
A JUDGE slams his gavel.
JUDGE
Life.
Ren and Stimpy jump up in fear.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

10.

REN/STIMPY
Life?!
JUDGE
Yes, life. We cant have people
running around buying illegal copies
of television programs like the
beloved Muddy the Mudskipper Show.
Its because of people like YOU that
he left.
Stimpy falls to his knees and puts his hands together,
pleading.
STIMPY
No, I would never do anything to hurt
Muddy. Lock us away, we dont deserve
to roam free if were the reason Muddy
cant mudskip.
Ren looks over at Stimpy, furious, but says nothing.
JUDGE
Then we all agree. Bailiff, take them
away.
INT. PRISON - NIGHT - D2
The bailiff hands Ren and Stimpy off to the GUARD. He has a
very creepy look to him. He is skinny for the most part, but
has a protruding gut. He doesnt seem to blink, and he
salivates a lot. His voice reflects how much salivation is
going on.
GUARD
Ah, two fresh new ones. Im going to
take extra good care of you.
The guard grabs the two by the head and lifts them up. He
walks over to the common room.
INT. PRISON - COMMON ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The common room is filled with tough looking individuals.
They all have huge muscles, tattoos, one guy has an eyepatch.
Two men are playing cards at a nearby table. FISH is a very
large man whose face resembles Popeyes. GILL is also a very
large man, but slightly older and balding.
GILL
Gin.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

11.

Gill places his cards on the table to show that hes won.
Fish gets very angry and grasps the table by his sides. Veins
are protruding from his neck.
FISH
You cheated.
GILL
Whoa, hey, Fish. I won fair and
square. Didnt nobody cheat.
FISH
Youre a dirty cheater.
GILL
(staring Fish in the eyes,
irritated)
I told you. Didnt. Nobody. Cheat.
Fish quickly reaches across the table and grabs Gills head.
FISH
You are aFish takes Gills head and smashes it against the table.
FISH (CONT'D)
DirtyFish smashes Gills head into the table again.
FISH (CONT'D)
DirtyFish smashes Gills head again, Gill looks really roughed up.
FISH (CONT'D)
CHEATER.
Gill falls to the side and crawls away. The guard drops Ren
and Stimpy, they hit the ground.
GUARD
You two have fun with your new friends
now.
Ren panics and chases the guard as the steel door closes and
locks. Ren tries to open it with all his might.
REN
We dont belong here with these
animals.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

12.

The entire room looks over at Ren.

REN (CONT'D)
Hey, just joking around guys. Were
just like you guys. Looking to pal
around while we do our time.
Fish turns his head and looks at Ren.
FISH
Seat just opened up. Why dont you
come on over and pal around.
REN
Me? No, I couldnt. Ive never played
before, and I just got here, I need to
acquaint myself before I start the
palling around.
STIMPY
Hey, that looks like fun. Ill play.
FISH
Alright, then. Come on over.
Stimpy walks over and plops into the seat across from Fish.
FISH (CONT'D)
Games Gin.
STIMPY
Alright, Ive played that before.
Fish shuffles the deck and deals out the hands.
FISH
You go first.
Stimpy picks up his hand and stares at it. He starts
scratching his chin.
STIMPY
Hmmm...
FISH
(getting impatient)
Will you go already?
Stimpy puts his hand down on the table, cards face up, and
smiles a big smile.

Law and Order

11/11/2014

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

13.

STIMPY
Gin!
Fish looks at the cards, looks at his own cards, then stands
up, grabs the table, and throws it. The table hits somebody
and sends them flying.
FISH
Theres no way you can win in the
first round. Its not possible.
STIMPY
Those were just the cards you gave me.
FISH
So now its MY fault. Youre just like
Gill arent you? Youre a dirty little
cheater.
REN
No, Stimpy wouldnt cheat. He doesnt
even know how to cheat.
Fish grabs Rens head with one hand.
FISH
(to Ren)
Stay out of this.
Fish lets go of Ren, whose head now has Fishs fingers
imprinted in it.
FISH (CONT'D)
You know what I do to cheaters.
Stimpy just keeps smiling with his tongue sticking out,
looking straight ahead.
FISH (CONT'D)
I pound themFish takes his fists and starts alternating between his left
and right, punching Stimpy.
FISH (CONT'D)
IntoFish then puts both of his hands for a final blow. His hands
come crashing down on the top of Stimpys head.
FISH (CONT'D)
The ground.

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

Law and Order

11/11/2014

14.

Fish slowly lifts his arms back up, and as he lifts his arms,
Stimpy, who is flat as a pancake, starts rising and
inflating. Within seconds, he is back to what he looked like
before, staring straight ahead with his tongue sticking out,
smiling. Barry notices this and gets all of the inmates
attention.
BARRY
Hey look, that guy didnt get hurt at
all. And Fish was really pounding on
him.
All the inmates look over and start to applaud. Fish looks at
Stimpy and his mood drastically changes, hes now chipper and
cordial.
FISH
Hey, youre alright, kid. I think
youll fit right in here.
Ren comes over and puts his arm around Stimpy.
REN
Thats Stimpy and I alright, one of
the guys.
Fishs mood goes back to crabby and angry.
FISH
I dont recall saying anything about
you.
Fish starts walking away. He turns around and looks at
Stimpy.
FISH (CONT'D)
Keep your eye on your friend. Who
knows what can happen when no ones
around.
STIMPY
Great advice, thanks Fish. Well have
to play again soon!
INT. PRISON - CELL - NIGHT - D2
Ren and Stimpy are sharing a cell. Stimpy is in the top bunk
sound asleep. Ren is in the bottom bunk, eyes wide open. He
looks terrified. He looks out of the bars of the cell as Fish
walks by. Fish stops for a moment and smiles at Ren, then
continues walking.

THE REN & STIMPY SHOW

Spec Script

Law and Order

11/11/2014

15.

REN
Ive got to get out of here.
Ren pulls his blanket up over his face so only his eyes are
showing. Stimpy can be heard snoring off-screen.

END OF PART ONE