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Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light buld?
A: 50. 1 to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that
better.
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A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and
a smoking crater where his house used to be. The cheif of poice comes over
to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house,
killed your family, and burned it down." The violist replied, "You're
kidding! The conductor came to my house?"
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BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the
restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the
ensemble.
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three
kinds:
ISORHYTHMIC MOTET: When half of the ensemble got a different xerox than the
other half
MUSICA FICTA: When you lose your place and have to bluff till you find it
again. Also known as faking
MINIM: The time you spend with Vire when there is a long line
SUPERTONIC: Schweppes