FULL CIRCLE

By: Stregoni Benefici

FULL CIRCLE
By: Stregoni Benefici
(Precious Mauna)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer’s the Twilight Saga, except
for those new ones.

A Fan Fiction

_____________________________________________
PG 18- Book 3 OUTTAKE
Book 3: Renaissance (Chapters 40-End)
a/n: This starts of as a Vamp Story (Book 1) but as the story progresses (Book2-3) it‘ll be
more of a Wolf Saga. I want to acknowledge Lori, my proof reader. Dedicated to all my
friends; Sabine, Nicole, Liz, Allie, Yolanda, Lori, AJ Castro, Letisha, Donna, Stephie,
McTigger, Lily, Joan, Valerina, Cynthia, Vanessa, Danielle, Melissa, Melinda (of
Australia), Jessica (the one that promoted my banner on her site), and to all team
Blackwater. Also thanks to Team Cullen for the being there when I was still groping.

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of

-Blaise Pascal

Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much a heart can hold.
-Zelda Fitzgerald
a/n: I wouldn‘t say this a masterpiece, but you guys wanted this. Christmas vacation‘s
upcoming soon, maybe that‘d be a great time to ponder whether a sequel‘s gonna work.
Of course it‘d be not on this forum. On the mean time, a friend will ‗adopt‘ one of the left
out the stories –I think. This better be my last post, I know you guys know why.

An outtake is a part of the story which was taken out of the story for with or without it the
story's purpose is met.

Full Circle

Book III -Epilogue

Each step she took was monumental. Each step she took was like a step closer to forever.
Each step reminded me of the million steps we took before we became ‗us‘. I watched
her every pace and remembered very clear how we dared to break the rules of imprint and
how love won over any rule there is. The wind that blew her hair and her dress are all
becoming a part of that lifetime we are about to build together. What I‘m trying to say is;
earth and time stood still the moment Leah Clearwater approached the river, rode the
canoe to say I love you and I do to me.

Outtake

Part 1

Lying naked together, skin to skin, heat against heat is everything natural to the both of
us and more. We learned that Ephraim has been my spirit guide and Leah‘s has Harry‘s
mother. The matrimony in Elysium was brief, at least for us. We didn‘t know we had
been up there for four straight days. Another way to astral travel is thru one heavenly trip
of a sexual ride; although the fall back there would be the humiliation of having to expose
your bodies to those who will secure it. So THAT wasn‘t even an option.

It was a gift from Billy, this trip we‘re having in Iceland; I mean the tickets and all. I
didn‘t know he was saving up for it. Actually it‘s one of these many hideouts Edward
has, that time he left Forks, this cottage in the middle of nowhere. We decided we didn‘t
want a hotel where we‘d pretend to be extremely normal people. We kind of know
ourselves; me and Leah actually make love in the woods, in either form so, no need for
those five star kind of stuff. Well unless our cubbies imprint on normal human beings, by
that time we‘d get used doing un-spontaneous reservations. Okay I take that back, those
three rascals, they should finish their studies first, and if Lil Lee-lee needed to be
camouflaged somewhere in the middle of the Arctic, just to delay ANY POSSIBLE
IMPRINT BULL, I‘d be happy to do that, NO early marriages for the kids. I know it‘s
me being an over protective dad-ass, I don‘t care and HELL I‘m seriously stickin to my
word. Leah and I; we had went through things kind of differently, and DAMN it‘s
entirely a different story. Just glad our next cubs wouldn‘t have to worry about those
kinds of things. I mean, not that we‘re planning to make a new bunch; though maybe
after a couple of decades…I don‘t intend to populate the whole of Washington with my
kids.

Last night we did it outdoors, under a large leaning rock, while lying on the snow. The
ice beneath our bodies melted. The climate has a reverse affect on us, the colder it gets
the hotter we become. Our sex banter had cracked the silence of the forest. Tracing my
wife‘s skin, penetrating her deep, tasting every inch of her body, hearing her call my
name every time she peaks, grabbing me tight so I‘d do her again…

Maybe next time, when the kids are a little older we should try Hawaii. At least walking
half naked wouldn‘t turn too many heads around. Why on earth did Billy chose freaking
Iceland? Okay so it‘s cold…and? Is it really just for the sake of SUPER NOVA hot sex?
Coz, the climate‘s driving Leah real crazy, like on bed. Gosh. Dad.

I heard Leah turn the shower off. She didn‘t want me joining her inside the bathroom this
morning. And dang the fridge are filled with every food imagine possible –Emmett and
Rose‘s honey moon ‗gift‘. I started with eggs, and then put in the bacon, and tossed some
carrots and peas, the usual. She‘s been cooking ever since we arrived; it‘s my turn this
time. We didn‘t need to make a fireplace, but we made one for the excitement of doing it.

I felt Leah‘s eyes on me.

―Hungry babe?‖ I turned and saw her wearing this jaw dropping mind wrecking pair of
heavenly scrawny lingerie. I heard Alice and the rest of the femme gang shop for Leah‘s
‗new skins.‘ I felt my tongue stiffen and eventually disintegrate the moment she walked
in. She also wore a robe along with the ‗set‘. She tied her robe over her waist. So that
thing she did, showing me THAT THING on her was unintentional.

―Hey, you look traumatized, in a cute way.‖ Lee teased taking a sit beside the table,
which was near the stove –where I was. ―That thing you‘re uh *gulp* wearing, really
looks nice on you…‖ I barely finished my sentence but I did. I went back and hurried up
with my cooking.

―Oh this.‖ She threw a quick peek inside her robe. ―Yeah, ran out of lingerie. This pair
came from Alice and the crew…you like it?‖ Oh more than you‘ll ever know Lee-lee.

I nodded; trying to suppress the exploding vasopressin (some biological horny hormone)
I‘m freaking releasing. I transferred the food from the pan to her plate. I kept on
swallowing a hell lot of damned saliva. I mean, yeah, we just got up, and Leah‘s certainly
famished, you know, food-hungry. Can we have at least five minutes of peaceful zero-sex
wholesome breakfast? We‘ve been really jumping on each other each and every single
morning.

She felt my nerves on revolution and gradually scooped the food from her plate. I sat
down quite edgily in front of her. We haven‘t been really alone for a long time. And this
honeymoon period seems to be the longest time we‘ve been ‗actually‘ alone, like just the
two of us and no one else, only the earth and skies.

―So is it, uh, good? You‘ve been cooking every day, so, just wanted to share chores.‖
Man I would so want to get inside that fuzzy robe.

―It‘s good, just add some more salt and it‘s gonna be restaurant ‗material‘‖ She chomped
and answered finishing her plate. ―By the way, let‘s have sex after we eat, I‘m really in
heat you know.‖ She added biting her lower lip for a fraction of a time. Leah and her god-
given frankness. Her eyes lowered away. She rolled her beautiful irises back at me.

―I love you Jake.‖ She said untying her bath robe, sliding it off her shoulders. She stood
up, for heck I went catatonic, like I said before, she‘s gonna smite me with her beauty one
day. I initiated most of the foreplays, but today, her beauty silenced me. Flowingly her
robe fell to the wooden floor my wife barefooted walked around the table, sauntering
towards my seat. My heart somersaulted. My body was to shot up, my hands was to grab
her by the waist, pin her on the wall, when she said; ―Stop… Let me fire things up this
time.‖

Outtake

Part 2

―Move the table out of the way Jake.‖ She murmured. With one hand, and half a second
the tables are now OUT of the way. ―Just sit there love, okay?‖ Her eyes told me a
thousand things, one of which was she‘ll pleasure me good; and that I make her wet. She
went behind me, her added skin turned me on non-stop, I couldn‘t stop thinking of doing
her non-stop, in all positions imaginable. Entering her from the backdoor, rubbing her
swollen plump cheeks, mashing her mounds, stretching her legs far and wide, taking in
that vanilla peach smell emanating from her love hole, drinking her rivering orgasm,
dipping my fingers in her, feeling her warm contracting soaked walls, having her mouth
to wash all over me, nibbling her hardening erected teats, hearing her scream til I surge
everything out... but this morning, it‘s gonna be a little different.

Leah‘s breathe surrounded my neck. ―Oh god…my hunk of a man…‖ She whispered.
―You want me Jake?‖ She carried on, her voice heavy and penetrating. ―You know I want
you b-bad Lee.‖ It‘s quite a shame to hear my own voice quiver; I must be heaving a real
nasty hard-on. ―Do you want to kiss my pussy baby?‖ She asked crushing her warm lips
on my ears, her question grating thru my skin. ―I‘m going to kiss it, every fucking day.‖ I
breathed.

My face met her pelvic which she has set in front of me. ―Oh god Leah...‖ The aroma
ticked me horny; heat spiraled up my entire system. Her panty was semi see thru so I
could everything behind it. She untied the laces on both sides, and so the abandoned little
piece of satin dropped on the floor. I gently flicked over her warm honey maker; my lips
brushing the sides of her moist hole. I heard Leah whimper in increasing fervor, her nails
running down the length of my back as I suck her fluids in; both my hands clutching her
ass. I grazed my hands on the skin between her thighs, wiping her orgasm outflow with
my tongue.

Her bra was still on…a bra wherein the material it was made of had a translucent effect
on her nipples. She unfastened it. Her teats stood high in indignation. Immediately my
cock shared the same sentiments. I tore my boxers off. Leah sat on my furious member,
her fingers guiding my sword into her taut hole. I loved how wet we are for each other.
Her breasts exactly matched the height of my chest; my hands instantly found her twin
towers wanting to be kneaded nice. I lightly pinched her stuck up peaks. My wife moaned
as I continually rounded her mountains; biting slightly her tips every after pressured
caress. She slid herself up and down my erupting penis, and then suddenly she stopped.

―I almost forgot how sweet you taste Mr. Black…‖ She wanted to give me a blow, but…

―Baby, please…d-don‘t stop, I‘m a-about to come…‖ I managed to say, my own heat
was eating me up, and adding hers, I‘d say I‘m ready to fucking give out.

―Later then?‖ She whispered her breathe in staggers, her climax she froze midway.

―Yes later my darling. Come on, I need you to cum for me...honey…baby…?‖ I sounded
almost like I was begging.

She sat again on me but this time she bent her upper body slightly backwards, both her
hands gripped her buttocks. I grabbed her waist and assisted her bouncing on my dick.
Her up-stretched juggling mounds were a major cum-on. ―Jaco—ob, aw gawd
Jacob…ahhhhh…ah, ah!!! Oh my go…JACOB!!!‖
A COMPILATION OF COMMENTS AND
THANKYOUS
JB12: I can't believe this is really it. I feel happy and sad to the same time. This is such a
huge moment and I feel so conflicted.

I still remember very clearly how I came across this story many many months ago. I kept
reading and reading but I really did not participate with comments, I did initially a
couple of times, but this concept was stange to me and I just kept reading on. Something
happend, and I needed to contact you, from that moment on I felt even more connected to
you and this story. Gosh, I will miss it soooooo much, I went through alot with this story,
it tore at me and it opend my eyes for the first time, showing me what went really wrong
in SM story. I have you to thank you for it. Do you realize that it was you who opend my
eyes????? I remember how much you helped me initially understanding your point of
view and how much you made me understand my true feelings? How we had debates and
how you would always listen to my frustrations. How you made me see your true
intentions where you are going with this story and how passionate you were about it. You
became such a dear friend, I love you and I love this story. I will miss everything about it,
I will miss you so freaking much. This story is my first experience with everything, it
means so much I don't think I can ever really explain it right to you, but I believe you
know what is in my heart. I also met so many dear people here which I am so grateful for
and I ended up becoming such great friends with some of them. I love you and I love them
so much!

Thank you for always encouraging me to provide honest critizism and suggestions, thank
you for always putting up with me, thank you for bringing Jacob Black to me as he meant
to be, thank you for bringing Leah to life as she meant to be, thank you for all your love
and caring you always showed me, thank you for Full Circle!

The ending was exactly how I wished it to be, exactly how it should have been in the SM
version, exactly where my heart is, I loved it very much, it was simply PERFECT!!!!!

For ever in your gratitute, JB12

JacobLeah: Man oh man...like all the others here, I can't believe this story is over. The
last chapter was better than I could have ever imagined. All the Native touches were truly
beautiful and all the interactions between Jake & Leah were so touching and loving. This
story was intense from the start and I'm so happy that these lovers had a happy ending at
least in this story.

Like so many here, I found this story by accident by entering Blackwater. This site is not
the easiest to navigate but I kept going from link to link or page to page trying to piece it
together. At first, I thought for sure that Leah would have an unhappy ending always
being second to Jake's imprint while desperately chasing him. Through the first chapters,
the imprint had a very strong hold on Jake and I didn't think he'd break it. Nessie was
getting older and more beautiful and the call to her was getting hard for Jake to resist.
Also, he seemed to have an unnatural loyalty to the Cullens which they didn't seem to
reciprocate.

Then Daniel came along and it was almost as good as Jake, someone very handsome and
masculine, who at least appreciated and worshipped Leah like she deserved. Finally,
Jacob came alive with jealousy and lust, realizing for the 1st time what he might be
losing. Now it was Leah's turn to be enthralled by the imprint and I didn't think she'd
break it. I thought it would be too late for Blackwater and Jake would have to be happy
that he had his little Lee Lee to bind him to Leah. So you surprised me again when Daniel
died, and Jake was able to help Leah with her suffering and pain and prove to her his love
and devotion to her. Now here they are, Full Circle....

Not really a Cullen lover, so I was glad when they stopped being the focus of the story
and Jake's pack was able to stop catering to them and the Loch Ness Monster. This story
had a lot of action with Clive and Nahuel but the main focus was always the love story
between these two. Jacob was always written as badass, intense, lustful, jealous,
impetuous, loyal but also sweet. Leah was devoted, passionate, beautiful and spiritual.
My favorite parts were the forest scene where the pack is playing tag and Embry catches
the two - Jake trying to fight his attraction and Leah begging him to love her. The other
favorite scene is where Jake finally moves in with Leah, when she realizes that Daniel
really is gone and Jake is her destiny.

Also, the music and banners in this story were always perfectly chosen and placed.

I knew I was devoted to this story when I was on a 2 week cruise in Europe and I tried
desperately to get updates by paying the internet service on board the ship.

Streg, Thanks for being so loyal to this story and to us, your readers. You were always so
constant with your replies, insights, opinions. I loved to hear what you had to say about S.
Meyer, Bella, Nessie, Leah and Jake because your feelings were so in line with my own.
You don't deserve the banning that they have issued. I hope to follow your stories on
other sites and remain a devoted fan and reader. –JacobLeah

I can't believe that this is really over. After everything that we've
read. After all those cliff hangers and catastrophies. And after all
those Leah and Jacob moments.
The first vivid memory that comes into my mind when I think
about them is when they first found each other in the Woods. Oh
and when they Leah and Jake felt 'touchy' when it was raining
and Embry caught them together.

Hehe, and when Jacob decided to visit Lee-Lee when she was
asleep and make 'cake' together by the cliffs.
So beautiful... I will never forget this intoxicating story.
Funny, how I came across it. I was just going through some
stories and at that time I was beginning to be a Blackwater fan. I
read a few, but none of them caught my eye. Until that same
night I found this one, Full Circle. I read the short sumarry and
decided I should give it a try.
I thought I wasn't going to like it because I'm usually picky with
what I read. And the reason it caught my eye was because it said
"FULL CIRCLE: JACOB BLACK GOING AGAINST THE NATURE
OF IMPRINTING"

And I never liked it that Jake imprinted on Nessie. So I started

reading it like at six o'clock at night. I copy and pasted all the
chapters in a Word doc and I would actually stay up all day and
night to try to finish the chapters.
I have to admit that at the beginning when it was all about Bella
and Edward, I was going to stop, but I cheated and skipped
through some chapters and realized that this was going to
become a pretty exciting story.

And guess what? It really was. I finished reading all the chapters
in just about like two days.
And after I got caught up in it, I would be like hoping you post
every day.

The end to this final chapter wasn't like I would've thought.

It sort of reminded me of New Moon the movie's ending. But I'm
glad that Leah and Jacob are together now. So perfect and
reunited forever. I'm glad that Seth and Carlie are together I
guess. That's so cute.

You were the one that inspired me to write a Leah and Jacob
fanfiction. And I'm thankful for me not quitting on your stories
and for you never giving up on us!
Writing is called entertainment for the mind and I hope that
people that are hating on you in this site learn about it.
Streg, we'll miss you on TTS, but that wont stop anyone from
communicating with you. Oh great, now I'm sounding like a
someone at a Wake Ceremony.

I hope that you continue with Kwoli in another site were no one
will judge your stories and have as much cursing and as much
vulgarity as you can on here. And the TD also.

Love you Streg!

-Stephieee♥

Donna: I hate the thought of FC ending. I remember when I first found TTS I ran into FC
I started reading and I was more than hooked. I watched it come to life in front of myself.
Could never put it down Damn this hurts. I'm so afraid to read the last chapter. I don't
want it to end. The talent that comes out in Sterges writing just amazes me to no end. I
feel like a part of me is going with FC because when I read FC I do not just read words
like I said it comes to life for me. I use to lay on my Porch Swing for hours or in my bed
where nobody bothers me and watch the story come to life as I see it all happening before
my very eyes. I've yelled, Screamed, had tears, got totally excited my family thought I
was nuts. That is how you tell the writer is the ULTIMATE WRITER! totally captivates
who you are on the inside and brings it to your outside. Many times posting I'm sure
people probably thought I was nuts but If they see what I see when I read stories that are
out of this world they to will see it come to life and drag your emotions full force right
out of your body.

I love FC so much I am so honored to have printed a piece of sterges sole that was put
into this story for us all.

I have not read the last chapter as yet I'm to afraid, but I wanted to post how I feel about
Sterg and FC before it sweeps me away.

I love you Sterg!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for 1 Hell of a Movie Real!!! –Donna

Cynthia: I just have to say that this IS truly an amazing story. When i first started
reading, i was hooked. You opened my eyes to see a different life for Jacob. You were
the reason i fell in love with Leah. As i have read this story day in and day out, I have
seen it all come to life. I have felt every type of emotion you could possibly think of with
FC to the point to where my family though I was crazy. I really have to say that Streg has
a very amazing talent and can really bring out a person emotions. Having read FC was
the best I have read. Im really sad it has come to an end. Really sad that you got banned
and were not able to post the last chapter your self. That's just really stupid. :{
Streg i know we'll see more of your writing on Freedom Fan Fiction.

XOXOXO
Cynthia

P.S. Thank you for a great story.

Nicole:
My dear Streg,

I can't believe this Full Circle came to an end. It is not so long ago that JB pushed me
into reading it and the concept was so strange to me first. But then, after getting used to
your straight and honest words I grew a deep love for this story. It altered my thinking
about the imprinting concept and are many things I see different now, more reflected and
not through rose-colored glasses.

I was so hooked when the vultures attacked and kidnapped Leah and almost had her
killed. Then Daniel came into the game and I thought, wth, wasn't this supposed to be a
Jacob-Leah story? And then Jacob cuckold Daniel and got Leah pregnant and wheeeew
everything. The Nessie-breakup. Daniel's death. Leah almost died giving up on life and
Jacob always held true to her, saved her, pulled her out of her agony. With a tickling in
my stomach I remember their love-making. Sniff. Wouldn't we all want such a hot lover
and wouldn't we all want to be Leah in his arms. Sigh.

What a shame that you couldn't post your last chapter by yourself. And I just hope that
your ban will be re-done once in a time. After all I want to encourage all of your readers
to watch out for you on Twiland, FreedomFanFictionWriters and Fanfiction.net. You're
an outstanding author and it's a pity that the site where you have the most readers is
rated PG13 only. And it is a sham, to be honest, since I NEVER rated SM's saga as
PG13, more as PG16 or over. Yeah, that is what I think and I stand for it.

Coming to your last chapter. I cried whole time. Like I cried the last times. I so loved how
you brought the Native history back to life and how you described the Astral journey. It
reminds me about one of our first discussions about the collective unconsious and how
we found out we were thinking on a same level there.

I would so love to have an outtake or a next book of FC. I know where to find you, and
you know how to find me.

And my last shout-out before I close this comment: If you care for Streg, try to find her on
the above mentioned sites and bring FC; Kwoli, NWM and Brotherly Love to life there. I
know she would be so happy if you followed her.

Streg, love you lots and always!

Yours dearly,

Nicole

P.S. OMG, I just read it over and it so sounds like a funeral speech. And it is in a odd
kind of way.

From ND:

Woah, woah, woah! I was not expecting that at all! At all, at all, at all! Man way to keep
me on my toes Liz. Amazing, only truly good writers like yourself have been able to
shock me so much! Ugh, i can't even wrap my head around it. Here I was all mad at Dan,
then come to find out its the evil Utlapa and his evil ways. I hope Jacob, Leah, everyone
has their vengence on him, he deserves it. I like how Leah could tell right away
something was wrong but yet still couldn't put her finger on it. But i had a question, how
did Utlapa even get into Jacob's body? did Jake go into the spirit world without knowing
he did or did Dan really over take him and then Utlapa overtook Dan?

I love Jacob's over protectiveness of Leah, it's perfect. It's totally jake and his approach to
the girls he loves and cares about. So where are the other boys? Sam, Quil, Seth them.
Did Leah like "disappear", or did Utlapa make it so only Leah was effected? Well I can't
wait to see how Jake, Leah, and Dan all defeat him because I'm thinking it's going to take
all three of them to defeat such an evil man. from the sound of it, it looks like Leah is
going to be visiting the spirit world for a little bit. I can't wait to see where you take
this!!!

Okay so i re-read and i decided daniel cannot die. i love him too much and so does leah.
so i know that's there's some special spell, potion, voo-doo magic that i don't know about
that can fix this. please fix this! my heart is breaking, well broken and i just don't know
what to do with myself.

i can't see leah and jake together anymore. i mean they could be because she could turn to
him for comfort but what about nessie and when she is fully mature? then jake will be a
bind all over again.

you don't even know how antsy i am right now hoping you post more so i can find out
what happened with daniel. please fix my broken heart, i beg of you. i'm going to leave
you with my favorite line from my FF, because if leah is anything like me this is how she
will react when she finds out about her love.

I realized then that my body must have finally given into the grief my heart felt I
was dying and I welcomed it.—Leah Clearwater

From Jabett:
Omg that was so sweet...I can't believe you got banned Streg...I love this story...when it
turned into a leah-jake story i wasn't sure i was gonna continue with it because i never
thought they would get together but i decided to give it a chance and it grew on me and I
fell in love with it...I can't believe its over :*(

Here's what I’ve got to say.

Warning: Loooooong reply.

"Okay.

Let me tell you how this freaking story started. I was team Edward to start off. And I‘ve
got this friend who encouraged me to put my ideas into writing. The original plot was to
destroy Eddie‘s and Bella‘s relationship through utilizing the hybrid-vulture twins; Clive
and Corinne and to get them back together after a long period of tumultuous infidelity –
all these I wanted to happen while remaining faithful to how SM painted their characters.

But it‘s hard. Bella will never betray Eddie, and likewise Eddie. I still dared to go cross
that steep valley but it just wouldn‘t work. Jacob on the other hand bothered my head
REAL BAD. I was originally mad at Jake‘s character, he‘s soooooo stubborn and damn
persistent, he just wouldn‘t give up, it made me sick that he ended up with Bella‘s child,
it was so brainless and spineless. I love him as the badass smart cool guy. (As much as I
hated him, that‘s just the total opposite now, its like a 360 deg turn, a Full Circle. BTW
got the title from Eddie, he has mentioned a Full Circle in the Saga).

Then there‘s Leah, I always thought in Eclipse Meyer finally gave Jacob a life, a release
from his Bella-obsession (coz Bella wouldn‘t trade off Ed for anything, Ed‘s a friggin
goldmine), someone who can understand his pain, for she suffered the same, who might
give him a better shot at love. The fixation on JacobLeah began at that time. I fell in love
with both unknowingly, and subconsciously. I can‘t seem to stop writing chapters after
chapters about them. After I made Jacob kiss Leah outside her room, along that dark
hallway in Cullen‘s home in NH, there came this deep feeling of contentment, IT FELT
RIGHT.

I challenged the imprint concept not only because SM used it out of context, not only
because it went against the natural forces of animal nature, but because it incapacitated
free will and it incapacitated Jacob and Leah‘s character, they‘re better off without the
mambo jambo of fricken imprint.

The apparition of Jacob having a family with Leah came when I first read the part in
Eclipse when Bella thought of Jacob having a family with another woman, and them
having lil cubbies I think, and that she felt jealous even just thinking of it. While seeing
that picture in my head, I felt peace surround me. Weird huh.
Anyways, I met Lori first, I always catch her OL (she‘s a very late sleeper), and we
started exchanging messages since then. There are those who gave up on the FF halfway.
I love them still. Lori started doing PR for me when a Jessica-yotch flamed me (for the
first time ever). I so love Lori for being there to help me during that phase, she really
made my chapters sound better, and I got back my confidence in writing thru her. I have
some other readers from team Edward namely; (another)Jessica and she‘s great. I love
her. She‘s really busy but she still manages to leave comments. Same with Heather and
Melissa. Not to forget Carlie Cullen.

Sooooooooooo...

How did I turn Team Jacob? It happened when I reread NM again, and when I saw his
long beautiful hair. It was all because of his looks at first, his handsomeness, his
mystifying air of hotness. And then I started feeding Jake with Leah in Chapter 11,
initially to explore, eventually they haunted me in my dreams and in my sleep, unlike Ed
and Bella who remained locked inside the pages of the Saga, Jake and Leah suddenly
became so real to me. It‘s quite magical, I know. It got reinforced even more when I met
ND, Rogue, and JB12, simultaneously. ND and Rogue are like my fairygod soulsister
chics (and very awesome writers as well), I saw Jake and Leah in a better yet strange
light. JB12 dared me all the time, she‘s very frank and I like that, and she made me re-
consider a lot of things. She‘s the one who began the very lively and honest discussion in
FC. And I just know it when she‘s not yet around. How could I forget Gonz. She‘s like
my mirror, she feels, sees and understands each word I write. We helped each other
during that time; it was summer then, here.

I was still on a tight rope, debating whether how to give Jacob and Leah the life they so
deserved. I thought of recreating Nessie, since not much has been said about her. I saw
her more as Eddie‘s girl, and I like Ed as a dad, rather than him as a lover, he sucks as a
lover. And being more like Eddie I think she‘s going to be just amazing.

I always felt Billy‘s generation should have at least one wolfy genetic missing link, and
how hot it would be if Jake had a very young uncle; so that‘s how Daniel got born.
Daniel is like Jacob, only older. He is like the fullness of Jacob‘s character, and just the
perfect man for Leah.

But the perfect life I was trying to create bothered me, life isn‘t perfect, and saying that it
is, is a freaking LIE.

So now I write an FF, and still Jake ends up with a replica of Bella, it felt extremely
unfair. JB12 woke me up, and Rogue as well. Rogue actually shook me up like hell.
Rogue could really lovingly give firing comebacks. She helped me see myself as a
hardcore Blackwater thru her hardcore amazing BW FFs. I was re-awakened. If not for
the ‘JB12 and Rogue earthquakes’ I should have not dared FARTHER.

ND on the other hand showed me all the possibilities and I felt this deep connection with
her right away –the first time I read her first comment, (and the first time I read her FF).
Of course with everybody too, but she just showed me the other side of the story that I
actually didn‘t see. Same goes with JacobLeah, they‘re like twins of some sort. Whenever
I read JacobLeah‘s comments there‘s this invisible thread that ties my thoughts with hers.
It‘s really amazing. Melinda reinforced my TJ spirit. My Jacob style of POV got some of
its influences from one of her FFs. I fell in love with Jake in that FF. There‘s Allie, I
think of Allie as a pretty pixie, I mean her messages are short but she never left any of my
FFs unread, and I mean, she reads all of them. Not only that, she also reads all of my
other friends FF, everyone‘s lucky to have Allie.

Stephie‘s the reader/friend that encouraged me not to stop. I was really going to give FC
a looooong break. Since the death of Dan in my dreams left me catatonic. But she just
kept on showing up and posting stuff. It‘s easy to be friends with Steph, she‘s a very very
warm person. And her insights made me ask myself questions. She‘s got a very mature
head for her age. She isn‘t the shallow type of teenager, and a great FF writer. Kwoli was
born during this catatonia.

I couldn‘t write for two weeks. I keep dreaming of Daniel dying. I don‘t want him dead.
He‘s too good to die, he gave Leah life. But through his death a new millennia would be
born. I mean, his purpose was to strengthen the bond of Blackwater. I love this character
so much, and I felt his death. I cried.

Joy, Donna and Nic were ones of the last batches that read FC from start to end. I
always felt special reading comments even if I ain‘t posting yet. Joy rocks, she‘s really
badass, and she tells me what she feels. I always liked frankness. Donna was an instant
friend, same as with Nic*my abyss friend*, I have to thank Sab for that. Nic is a very
unbiased listener and reader. She can take all sides, and balance them all, that‘s what so
good about Nic, she can read anything, she isn‘t narrow. Plus, her prose is very good. I
like that chap about Jake embracing his alpha-ness in DWR. Thanks for your openness,
Nic. Donna speaks her mind, and I like that. What I like most about Donna is how the
words in FC come to life in her place in NH. I mean damn she‘s so lucky. I just see the
places in my head, and she sees them for real. I felt really close to her when she showed
me pictures of her place in NH, like we already knew each other for a long time. Donna,
Nic, JB12 and Rogue are really tough women. No one can obliterate them.

McTigger, Cynthia, Jessica, and Vanessa are the last ones who finished reading FC.
McTigger really surprised me. I couldn‘t believe she‘d say such nice words to me,
knowing that we just met. I always looked forward reading really uplifting messages
from her. Even Jessica, that piece of fact about Leah really told me how much of a deep
reader she is. Cynthia caught my attention coz her message was meaty. It wasn‘t just, go
on, keep it up. Vanessa always read my updates first, and I am so thankful for the time
she gives in reading my looooong FF. She‘s awesome, she doesn‘t lag. But laggers are
always welcome.

This isn‘t a wake, like what Nic said, my name‘s still visible under Full Circle and Kwoli
FF titles in the FFgroup. Let‘s just hope it stays there, so that many could still read. It‘s
my fault too that TD got me suspended; it‘s really PG 16 and super adulterated. I just
didn‘t expect it. Oh well. It‘s all right, we‘re still all friends.

The epilogue‘s gonna be ready soon. My bro‘s gonna do the posting again."

for LIZ

"OH MY FRIGGIN GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I forgot all about my beautiful to-kayo stalker, LIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You
know what made me forget about you? It's because we share the same name....it'd be
strangely weird to thank 'yourself' right? Actually I also forgot a bunch of other people,
but I know they never go OL nor read my latest posts...so...well, maybe soon.

as for Liz....you make me feel I am not alone. Esp in NMW she never ever leaves
NMW...and I mean NEVER. I almost gave up on that FF...but her presence (esp in the
other sites) made me press forward...
sometimes just being there no matter what makes you feel appreciated, and that's what
Liz's expertise is...Love ya Liz....you may not be included in that LOOOOOONG LIST,
but you have a special section down here. And I am not writing this out of freaking
guilt...it's but natural for me to express my heartfelt response to you. YOU rock!!!
Hugs!!!!"