Angel and humans

Rolf Auer, 8 March 2013

A TV play for AHAmedia
Characters:
Hendrick Beune DTES resident 2
April Smith DTES resident 1
Donald CBC co-announcer
Sid Immigrant-settler Tan CBC announcer
Scene 1
CBC announcer and heres the latest on our sins (and timely it is, too). The federal
government has closed the loopholes that allow for students to apply for grants and bursaries
either during or after working. The feeling is that were these allowed to exist, tuition would be
too free, and such freedom simply cant be tolerated in Canada. Canadians are used to
inflicting punishment as a matter of course, therefore the obvious choice is to charge an arm and
a leg to obtain higher education, which so obviously should cost nothing; however, Canadians
are so bent on inflicting their idiocracy on each other that they prefer to joke about how poor
their media are instead of doing something about it such as phoning or writing their media
outlets and demanding better service. THATS the result of beating your students about the head
with stupid fees (as if there were any other type) for learning: their thinking is blunted and their
imaginations are inhibited, so they act like mindless automatons in their jobs secretly wanting
only revenge for what has been done to them and willing to take it out on any hapless victim
who comes along. (The hacker rebellion against the current neofeudalist technocracy we live in
is similar.) The victims could be any subjects that have been traditionally vilified, such as
people of a different colour (now taboo), people of a different religion (we dare not talk about
that), people of a different sexual orientation (always a good target), but especially that oldtime
favourite, the poor.
What can we say about them? These highflying financial failures have, shall we say, willingly
fallen through the cracks in our thin veneer of civilization, because they are victims of systemic
discrimination by us (on purpose, we dont have to say). After we are done with these victims,
they are now at risk for whatever illnesses, jinxes, curses, and anything else we can come up
with to show our complete and utter disregard for humanity, as good Canadians do. The only
thing which stops our utter devastation of our fellow human beings are the institutions weve put
in place to compensate for our cruelty, such as medicare, social services, and the like. Dont
worry, though, were in the process of ripping these protections out completely. In fact,
eventually, well hold guided tours from our towers in our gated communities into regions of
complete and utter poverty, where we can hold shotgun hunting parties to blow the next victim
of poverty away (something like The Most Dangerous Game), thus relieving the State of yet
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another statistic of financial drain of our compassionless and mindless euphemism that passes
for civilization.
CBC co-announcer: how would you say masturbation fits into this?
CBC announcer: well, I wouldnt say anything normally, except by non-stop innuendo and other
means of communicating my disdain and disregard for other peoples private choices. Its not
within my purview. If you like, however, give me a list of your sins, and well discuss these on
air.
CBC co-announcer: so youd say conformity, or inculcated inability to think for oneself, figures
into the equation?
CBC announcer: I secretly yearn to become a Borg. Theres something fascinating about them.
Theyre zombies with a purpose: theyre guided, not just by a queen, but by a beautiful queen,
whose brains are utterly delectable. Brains to Borg are pate de foie gras to business people: they
dont care how its made, merely that they get it, and can chow down as fast as possible, while
avoiding slopping some onto their clothes.
CBC co-announcer: so this is the Canadian way, then? To become Borg?
CBC announcer: why, do you see some other way for it? Doesnt an economic system which
leaches the compassion and humanity from the human race such as neoliberalism ultimately
lead to all things Borg? Of course, were only seeding the ground here (with dragons teeth, as it
were), but the upshot is that eventually the corruption will be complete, from the inside out.
CBC co-announcer: so would you say that the business slogan of privatize everything is in aid
of this?
CBC announcer: well, why dont you reflect on that, will you? Ultimately, what everything
amounts to is the sad and sorry end result of endless competition, that is, were better than you.
In other words, divide and conquer <sniffs audibly>.
Scene 2
DTES resident 1 Gidday!
DTES resident 2 and to you too!
DTES resident 1 nice weather, for a change. Sunny.
DTES resident 2 the best things in life are free, after all.
DTES resident 1 if the creepazoids in power have their way, these wont be free for long. The
burgeoning water pollution problem is so far-reaching that all of Canadas watersheds and lakes
will be destroyed, and us too.
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DTES resident 2 as if it werent bad enough that theyre trying to wipe us out by relegating us
to a life of poverty, with their accompanying punishment system laughingly known by the
outwardly compassionate-sounding misnomer welfare. Its supposed to be good because its
free. Next, theyll be making it sound <caress the syllables of this> alluring.
DTES resident 1 try to bear with it: its the humans way of saying were better than you.
Yes, its rank discrimination, but as someone I know puts it, how are you going to fight against
stupidity? Einstein supposedly said, Only two things are infinite, the universe and human
stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Does that feel better?
DTES resident 2 (breathes deeply) -- ahhhh, another day in paradise! If only I could be around
when the immortalsthat is, those who deliberately and avariciously amassed enough wealth
on the backs of others to purchase immortality when it became availablestart to suffer from
ennui in the infinite sense, to the point where their regrets are now their worst nightmares. I
dont like to gloat or say I told you so. I just want to leave them with the message that their road
to Heaven was perhaps not the correct one. What about the news? Anything about us, that is, the
poor?
DTES resident 1 -- only how theyre putting the scroogies to us, as usual. And gloating, as
usual. In other words, the usual garbage. Why, were you expecting something different? Yes,
one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same
result, yet expecting a different outcome sometime. Thats what life is with the humans: slavery.
You expected something different about us, the poor? Something enlightened?
DTES resident 2 excuse me while put the finishing touches to my groveling face. For a long
time, its been my ambition to got see my welfare worker to say, okay, you wanted me to use
my head, so Im offering it to you now. According to my sexual partners, Im supposed to be
good at it. So hike up your skirt, pull off your panties, and spread em, Ms, or pull down your
pants and underwear, Mr., because Id like to give you the thrill ride of your life. Isnt that what
this whole system is structured for, ultimately? That you who are in power can lord it over us
underlings? Okay, put your money where your mouth is, because Im willing to do that. No,
wait, I forgot, Im chaste. Too-o-o-o b-a-a-a-d, shoulda got me sooner. Coulda shoulda woulda.
I would, if I could, but I cant, so I shant. Lets see, I cant sex you, whats left... Hmmm...
DTES resident 1 dont go there, boyfriend.
DTES resident 2 oh, YES, now I remember. <aside to person offstage, Rolf? Bored
sounding drawl, Death.> Y-e-e-s-s-s-s!
DTES resident 1 awww, missed it by that much! Gee, dat too bad! It would have been like
being caught in flagrante delicto, hmmmmm so me-e-e-a-a-a-n-n!! delicious!! <slurps saliva
suggestively> Hey, boyfriend, do YOUR version of gratitude for the humans fucking us over on
the edge of oblivion again, wont you?

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DTES resident 2 awww, do I have to do it again? I just did it! Oh, well, if thats their version
of quid pro quo, alrighty then!!
DTES residents 1 & 2 Rolf?
Rolf humans, did you enjoy your pitiful stupid self-limited existence on this planet? If not,
why not? were you afraid to voice your deepest desires, were you afraid to give freely of
yourselves, were you caught looking for the perfect angle with which to poise your chisel, never
NEVER struck, to carve off that perfect chunk of forever to see you for the rest of your
existence? Well I got news for you: youre well and truly FUCKED!! You blew it, you big
stupid-heads! It was right there in front of you all along, and you blew it, you tower of
Babelers! Your endless natterings of inconsequential matters, of not minding your own
business, of parading each others private lives in front of each other and neglecting infinitely,
and believe you me I DO MEAN INFINITELY, more important questions such as why not end
war, end poverty, end homelessness, end ignorance, end anti-environmentalism, end starvation,
to name a few. What was wrong with you, humans, that you refused to face up to the facts of
life? A convenient excuse? You were distracted for whatever other silly stupid reason? I dont
buy it, humans, and I am EXTREMELY disappointed! Well, you go on your merry ways,
humans, and Ill go mine. Thats what you wanted, isnt it, humans? ISNT IT?? <mutters sotto
voce: and STAY dead!>
Rolf to DTES residents 1 & 2 see you later!
DTES resident 1 I know Id like to be by the sea doing whatever comes to mind right now.
How about you?
DTES resident 2 sounds delish! count me in!
End
My publications: www.lulu.com/spotlight/Rolf_Auer

The Woodgold Papers | Vol 1 Set 9 | Angel and humans

rolfauer@yahoo.ca

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