Emotion

The Maturation of
Emotion
An excerpt from The Healthy Aging Brain
by Louis Cozolino, PhD
The National Institute for

the Clinical Application of
Behavioral Medicine
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The Healthy Aging Brain

Chapter 8 The Maturation of Emotion
Contents:
Learning Not to Fear.3
Taming the Amygdala..6
Accentuate the Positive.7
The Cycle of Optimism.9
Shattered Assumptions.11
From The Healthy Aging Brain by Louis Cozolino Copyright 2008 by Louis Cozolino. Courtesy of W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.
The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine

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8. The Maturation of Emotion
Certainly old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions relax their hold, then you
have escaped from the control not of one master, but of many.
PLATO
It is difficult to think and act in wise ways when we are anxious or afraid. In fact, when we feel
we are under threat, the control of brain processing shifts to primitive subcortical neural networks that
specialize in immediate survival. This doesn't only happen when we are chased by wild animals; the
same neural shift occurs in our day-to-day lives when we are hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or in any
state of emotional dysregulation. Anxiety and fear actually inhibit the types of diverse cortical
processing that contribute to good judgment, self-awareness, and compassion. Because we need
broad cortical participation for problem solving and empathy, negative emotional states can work
against both the attainment and expression of wisdom.
What is optimal at a neural levelcontinued plasticity, growth, and integration of neural
networksis also true for families, business organizations,
and other social institutions. Anxious families demand
obedience and loyalty to the family rules, no matter how
destructive they might be for one and all. The more
The more afraid we. . . become,

the more likely we are to resort
to rigid ideologies, behaviors,
and policies.
afraid we, our family, or our society become, the more likely we are to resort to rigid ideologies,
behaviors, and policies. Driven by primitive and unconscious mechanisms of fear, both neural and
human systems can become ossified.
LEARNING NOT TO FEAR

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up
to speak in public.
GEORGE JESSEL
In thinking about how changes in the aging brain are conducive to wisdom, we focus on

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two brain regions, the amygdala and the orbitomedial prefrontal cortex (OMPFC). As we saw
earlier, it is within the OMPFC-amygdala networks that our ability to regulate emotion based on
experiences of safety and danger becomes organized. The amygdala is a primitive subcortical
structure that rapidly appraises sensory information for
danger and, if necessary, mobilizes the body into action by
activating the sympathetic nervous system (Davis, 2002).
The OMPFC, on the other hand, can convert our
. . . people with damage to this

region are more vulnerable to
depression, mania, and antisocial behavior.
experiences into learning that is capable of regulating and inhibiting the amygdala. The OMPFC's
role in emotional regulation is highlighted by the fact that people with damage to this region are more
vulnerable to depression, mania, and antisocial behavior (Ballmaier et al., 2004; Lai et al., 2000;
Taylor et al., 2003). Together, the OMPFC-amygdala network evaluates and remembers the reward or
punishment value of highly complex social interactions. This network, central for survival, organizes
early attachment schema and thus, our ability to bond with others throughout life (O'Doherty et al.,
2001).
On its own, the amygdala is capable of processing aspects of our environment of which we are
totally unaware, making us automatically react to and avoid people, places, and things that have
previously had a negative effect on us (Hendler et al., 2003; Morris, Ohman, & Dolan, 1998, 1999).
These capabilities lead it to have a very powerful influence on both our conscious and unconscious experience. So even if we try our best to be mindful of our moment-to-moment emotional experience,
the amygdala can have its way with us before we are even aware that it has become activated (Gur
et al., 2002; Rule, Shimamura, & Knight, 2002; Schaefer, 2002; Simpson, Drevets et al., 2001;
Simpson, Snyder et al., 2001).
The OMPFC and the amygdala have a mutually inhibitory relationship with one another.
Thus, when the OMPFC is damaged or underactive, the amygdala has greater control over our
behaviors, perceptions, and judgments
. . . the amygdala is capable of processing
aspects of our environment of which we are
totally unaware.
(Drevets & Raichle, 1998; Kim et al.,

2003; Nomura et al., 2004; Shin, Wright,
& Cannistraro, 2005; Yamasaki, LaBar, &
McCarthy, 2002). In these situations, our thinking is guided less by conscious consideration and
more by survival-related instincts and impulses. In fact, when we are anxious, we are more likely

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to behave in ways that are less civilizedmore aggressive, authoritarian, and prejudicial. We are
also more likely to engage in compulsive and self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse,
binge eating, or stealing. On the other hand, when we are able to regulate our emotions, we
optimize cortical participation in judgment and decision making. A highly developed and wellregulated OMPFC-amygdala network may well be a prerequisite for psychological maturity and the
attainment of wisdom.
Why is it so easy to forget the name of an acquaintance, but so hard to forget a traumatic
experience? One reason lies in the differences between the hippocampus and amygdala. The
hippocampus, central to explicit memory, remains
flexible to new learning and even changes size with
In scientific terms, our fears
are resistant to extinction.
changing memory demands (Nader, 2003). In contrast,

the amygdala demonstrates stable and persistent dendritic structure in response to stressful situations
(Rainnie et al., 2004; Vyas et al., 2002; Vyas & Chattarji, 2004). So while the hippocampus is
constantly remodeling to keep abreast of current environmental changes, the amygdala catalogues
past threats to apply them to future situations. Unlike our fragile memories for names and dates, the
amygdala has a tenacious memory for what has frightened us. Adding to the tenacity of trauma is
the fact that amygdala activation results in chemical processes that enhance memory for fearful
experiences. In scientific terms, our fears are resistant to extinction.
The only brain structure whose size is positively correlated with longevity in primates is
the centromedial complex of the amygdala (Allman, McLaughlin, & Hakeem, 1993). Might a
Like a wild horse, the amygdala
needs to be tamed to enhance its
positive characteristics.
larger amygdala enhance survival and be chosen

by natural selection? As primates grow larger,
they also live in larger and more complex social
groups, creating the need for intricate social
communication. The amygdala is not only a center of fear processing but is also centrally involved in
processing most social information. Unfortunately for us, a large amygdala may also make us more
vulnerable to anxieties, fears, and phobias (De Bellis et al., 2000).
The establishment of secure attachments and positive affect regulation early in life allows us
to maximize amygdala functioning as opposed to being victimized by the anxiety and fear it can
activate. When a child is neglected or abused, his or her amygdala can become biased toward fear

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activation, which can emotionally cripple the victim in ways that can last a lifetime. Like a wild
horse, the amygdala needs to be tamed to enhance its positive characteristics. With the amygdala,
as with horses, taming occurs in the context of an understanding relationshipthe establishment of
control and regulation through a combination of affection and limit setting. Among other things,
loving parents and grandparents are "amygdala whisperers."
TAMING THE AMYGDALA

Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.
SHIRLEY MACLAINE
For most of our lives, negative emotions weigh more heavily in our evaluation of
ourselves and others than positive emotions. That is, we have a tendency to focus on negative
emotions and give them more weight in decision making (Ito, Larsen, Smith, & Cacioppo, 2002).
While it is generally assumed that aging results in an increase in fearfulness, the physiological and
behavioral data from research with rodents demonstrates a decrease in fear activation with age
(McEchron, Cheng, & Gilmartin, 2004; Torras-Garcia et al., 2005).
Consistent with the animal data, 60-80-year-old human subjects demonstrate decreased
amygdala and increased frontal lobe activation while analyzing facial expressions (Tessitore et al.,
2005). Despite this shift, amygdala activation in response to novel fearful faces, a salient social signal
. . . we have a tendency to focus
on negative emotions and give
them more weight in decision
making.
of danger for all primates, stays the same into old age.
This strongly suggests that the changes are not due to the
functional decline of the amygdala but rather to a
maturation of the OMPFC-amygdala system in the
direction of decreased fear-based processing (Wright et al., 2006). In line with this finding, older
individuals show less cardiovascular reactivity (triggered by amygdala activation) when
watching emotionally charged films (Tsai, Levenson, & Carstensen, 2000). These findings
suggest an age-related shift in the balance and regulation of OMPFC-amygdala activation, which
could be of vital importance for understanding both the aging brain and the emergence of wisdom.
It has been found that as we age, we are influenced less by the way questions are framed when
presented to us (De Martino et al., 2006). In other words, we are less likely to be influenced by

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current contextual variables or attempts by others to persuade us. The advantages of a less reactive
amygdala are not just a relaxation of fear and anxiety but increased cortical involvement along with
slower and deeper consideration. The maturation of the OMPFC-amygdala circuit works against the
impulses and mandates of youth, which are to be fast and certain.
In comparison to adolescents, older adults rely more on problem-focused than emotional
strategies when faced with difficult situations (Blanchard-Fields, 1986; Blanchard-Fields &
Irion, 2001). This reflects both a taming of the amygdala and increased cortical participation.
Advancing wisdom includes the expansion of
consideration and taking time to understand the
complexities of a situation. The general
downgrading of fear later in life may open us
Advancing wisdom includes the

expansion of consideration and
taking time to understand the
complexities of a situation.
to a deeper understanding and compassion for others, and more love for humanity in general.
Neurobiological studies of the experience of love suggest that it is primarily
characterized by the absence of activation in fear circuitry. The taming of the amygdala
may be one of the primary gifts of aging and an important component of becoming a wise elder.
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

Wisdom begins in wonder.
SOCRATES
The OMPFC-amygdala network is so central to our social and emotional
experience that any changes in its functioning should be reflected across the board in
memory functioning, cognition, and personality. If we look at research from the social
sciences, we immediately find that far from being cranky and pessimistic, positive
emotions tend to endure in older individuals, while negative ones are more likely to
decrease (Carstensen, Pasupathi, Mayr, & Nesselroade, 2000). Older people also
report having fewer negative experiences and exhibit more emotional control (Gross
et al., 1997). This shift toward positivity with age has been found to occur between 18
and 60 years of age, at which point it seems to level off (Mroczek & Kolarz, 1998).

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As we age, we also tend to remember more positive and neutral visual
images relative to negative ones (J Charles, Mather, & Carstensen, 2003;
Pasupathi & Carstensen, 2003). Older subjects tend to look away from faces with
negative expressions and toward those with positive ones (Iidaka et al., 2002; Mather
& Carstensen, 2003). This likely relates to a decrease in the amygdala's guidance of the
visual system, which emphasizes vigilance to negative and dangerous aspects of the
environment (Mather et al., 2004). Another study showed that as we age, we
demonstrate increased activation in the left frontal regions while processing
emotional facial expressions. Because the left hemisphere has a positive emotional bias,
this hemispheric processing shift would enhance a positive reaction to the faces of
others (Gunning-Dixon et al., 2003).
Older subjects have also been found to have a greater bias toward remembering
positive words than younger subjects (Leigland et al., 2004). Because memory storage is
modulated by arousal, this increased bias toward positive memory is likely reflective of an
Older subjects have also been found
to have a greater bias toward
remembering positive words than
younger subjects.
OMPFC-amygdala system shift away

from anxiety and fear (Cahill & McGaugh,
1996; LaBar & Cabeza, 2006; Tessitore et
al., 2005). Unfortunately, downregulation
of the amygdala may actually contribute to memory impairment if its maturation decreases
its efficiency in stimulating memory consolidation in the hippocampus (Almaguer,
Estupifian, Frey, & Bergado, 2002; LaBar & Phelps, 1998). The up side may be that as we
grow older, it is easier to forget experiences that are best forgotten.
Overall, it appears that as we age, the amygdala lessens its grip on how we
experience ourselves and the world. With this decrease in amygdala influence, older adults tend
to (1) experience fewer negative emotions, (2) pay less attention to negative stimuli, and (3) be less
likely to remember negative experiences (Mather et al. 2004). Older adults also show this positivity
effect in the recall of autobiographical
memory (Table 8.1). That is, they tend to spin
their histories in ways that make them look
more competent and feel better about
Overall, it appears that as we

age, the amygdala lessens its grip
on how we experience ourselves and
the world.

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themselves (Kennedy, Mather, & Carstensen, 2004; Leigland et al., 2004). In this way, older adults
probably don't differ from the rest of the population. However, when older adults are informed
about the need for accuracy of recollection, this positivity bias diminishes, while younger subjects
hold onto their distortions. The positivity effect on remembering and recounting life history
edits our life story with a positive spin. The optimism this may engender is in itself a resource
for the elder and correlates with enhanced physical and mental health (Taylor, Kemeny, et al.,
2000). This positivity shift may also serve to instill hope in younger people who have traditionally
depended upon the stories of the elders to create a vision of the future. What better gift can we
give to our children and grandchildren than grandparents who enjoy life and show them that
despite hardships, life is very much worth living?
THE CYCLE OF OPTIMISM

Old people don't get crabby, crabby people get old.
STEVE OTTO
Optimism and a positive attitude correlate with physical and mental health, happiness, and
longevity. Optimistic people also tend to be better connected, employ better coping skills, and
take better care of themselves than pessimistic people. Pessimism in early adulthood appears to
be a risk factor for poor physical and mental health later on (Maruta, Colligan, Malinchor, &
Offord, 2002; Peterson, Seligman, & Vaillant,
1988). Whether optimism is a cause of these
positive outcomes or a natural consequence of
Pessimism in early adulthood

appears to be a risk factor for poor
physical and mental health later on.
robust health and living a "good life" is difficult to

sort out (Taylor, Kemeny et al., 2000). At this point in our understanding, it is best to assume that
optimism, social support, physical health, and longevity have positive synergistic effects on
both well-being and longevity.
It has been suggested that optimistic people are significantly less likely to be
rehospitalized after bypass surgery, demonstrate quicker recovery patterns, and tend to have
better survival rates after being diagnosed

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TABLE 8.1 The Positivity Effect

Compared to Young Adults, Older Adults Demonstrate
Less physiological responsiveness to emotion
Less sensation seeking
Increasing sense of emotional saliency
Less emotional lability
Greater understanding of emotional statess
Greater impulse contro1
More emotional coping strategies?
Greater affect regulations

The positivity effect on remembering and recounting life history edits our life story with
Optimistic people may have more
positive expectancies for success, so

they approach difficult situations,
expend energy to solve problems, and,
in turn, experience better outcomes.
a positive spin. The optimism this may

engender is in itself a resource with head and
neck cancer (Allison, Guichard, Fung, &
Gilain, 2003; Fredrickson & Levenson, 1998;
Scheier et al., 1999). One explanation for this
relationship may lie in differences in health behavior. Optimistic people tend to use proactive
coping strategies that aim to eliminate, reduce, or manage stress and negative emotions (Aspinwall
& Brunhart, 1996; Nes & Segerstrom, 2006).
In one study of patients with breast cancer, optimists were more likely to use coping
mechanisms such as acceptance, humor, positive reframing, religion, and social support (Carver et al.,
1993). Optimistic beliefs about one's health predicted greater attention to medical information, better
coping with bad news, and better emotional regulation while pursuing health care (Maroto, Pbert, &
Shepperd, 1996; Scheier et al., 1999). Optimistic people may have more positive expectancies for
success, so they approach difficult situations, expend energy to solve problems, and, in turn,

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experience better outcomes.
If optimism enhances our emotional state and decreases stress, then it should also have a
positive impact on our immunological functioning. In fact, an optimistic outlook has been associated
with higher T-cell and natural killer cell levels in a healthy population, as well as slowed disease
progression and lower mortality in patients with HIV (Ironson et al., 2005; Moskowitz, 2003;
Segerstrom, Taylor, Kemeny, & Fahey, 1998). A salubrious connection between optimism and
bodily health may explain why optimistic men in Finland have shown a slower progression of
carotid atherosclerosis and why optimistic
Americans are less likely to develop heart
disease (Ands et al., 1993; Everson et al., 1996;
Todaro et al., 2003). Considerable evidence
In the United States, it was found that

people who interpret events in
pessimistic ways are more likely to
become depressed, physically ill, and
have shorter life spans.
suggests that optimism may be correlated with

longevity while pessimism is associated with a reduced life span (Everson et al., 1996; Giltay et
al., 2004; Kubzansky, Sparrow, Vokonas, & Kawachi, 2001; Stern, Dhanda, & Hazuda, 2001;
Taylor, Kemeny, et al., 2000). In the United States, it was found that people who interpret events in
pessimistic ways are more likely to become depressed, physically ill, and have shorter life spans
(Brummett, Helms, Dahlstrom, & Siegler, 2006; Maruta, Colligan, Malinchoc, & Offord, 2000).
Interestingly, a study of the oldest old in Veneto, Italy, found that centenarians were less inclined to
complain about their physical condition and had a positive attitude toward life despite their
disabilities (Dello Buono, Urciruoli, & DeLeo, 1998). Having a reason for living, a zest for life,
and plans for the future correlate with decreased mortality rates and better health 10 years later
(Pitkala, Laakkhonen, Strandberg, & Tilvis, 2004).
Seligman (2000) suggested that pessimism may increase mortality because pessimists (1)
have more negative life events, (2) believe nothing they do makes a difference, or (3) have
depressed immune systems. Pessimism and hopelessness are also characteristics of depression,
which has been shown to correlate with higher rates of mortality (Ganguli, Dodge, & Mulsant,
2002; Giltay et al., 2006; Penninx et al., 1999, 2001; Saz & Dewey, 2001). In one study of 5,201
people aged 65 years and older, the risk of mortality was up to 43% higher among individuals
with depressive symptoms, while another study found depressive symptoms in women to be a
significant risk factor for illness-related mortality (Schulz et al., 2000; Whooley & Browner, 1998).

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SHATTERED ASSUMPTIONS
The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity but the achievement of
serenity within and above it.
-REINHOLD NEIBUHR
The reality of our frailty and mortality are present throughout our lives. Thanks to optimism,
denial, and our other psychological defenses, we remain oblivious to them most of the time. As we
grow older, however, we start to gain an increasing recognition and acceptance of our vulnerability
and the inevitability of death. The lucky ones among us have the luxury of confronting these
existential realities gradually and in small doses. Unfortunately for many, suffering and loss can come
too hard and too early in life. When people are traumatized, especially very early in life, their
assumptions of safety are shattered, and they are catapulted from the safe haven of denial. In these situations, the amygdala takes executive control of our brain and we are at risk of lapsing into a chronic state
of anxiety.
On the other hand, traumatic experiences are also capable of enhancing self-discovery and
support the attainment of wisdom. Think back for a moment to the list of the 10 wisest people:
1. Gandhi
2. Confucius
3. Jesus
4. Martin Luther King Jr.

5. Socrates
6. Mother Teresa
7. Solomon
8. Buddha
9. The Pope
10.Oprah Winfrey

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Suffering played a role in the lives of many of these people; not just personal suffering, but
shared suffering through their empathic attunement to the pain of others. Most of these wise people
. . .while none of us would
choose to suffer, the experience of
suffering has a central place in our
cultural histor
were transformed by their experiences and motivated

into action. They were, in a sense, able to regain
control over their fear and shift back to cortical
control. So while none of us would choose to suffer,
the experience of suffering has a central place in our cultural history. In fact, the central tenets of
Buddhism are based on the belief that suffering and its alleviation are at the core of human
existence.
The most important aspect of early attachment relationships is the establishment of a sense
of safety, which eventually gives us the strength to cope with life's more difficult realities. Because
primates are such social animals, and our very survival depends on our connection with others, the
more familiar, safe, and loving people there are in a child's life, the less likely he will feel alone,
abandoned, or afraid. The maturation of brain systems that modulate fear and our ability to
reframe life in a more caring and positive manner are a gift that elders can pass on to their
children and grandchildren.
We have evolved from simple biological organisms into social, psychological, and cultural
creatures. In this long and complex process, our
experience of self and our sense of identity have
expanded to include our families, friends, and
cultures, as well as our religious and philosophical
We can now be traumatized, not

only when our physical safety is at
risk, but when the people and ideals
we care about are threatened.
beliefs. We can now be traumatized, not only when our physical safety is at risk, but when the people
and ideals we care about are threatened. These situations can be particularly difficult when there is a
conflict between two important aspects of our identity. These situations are a real test of compassion
and wisdom.
Nathan and Joshua are father and son. Nathan, a hard-working and devout man, dedicated
his life to taking care of his parents until he married in his 40s, and had Joshua, his only child. At 80,
Nathan had "lost some spring from his step," as he told me, but was quick to add that he was still

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14

"as sharp as a tack." Joshua is a caring and sensitive man, and a gifted illustrator. Joshua and his
father have always had a close and caring relationship, one of love and mutual respect. Nathan
was proud of his son's accomplishments and Joshua was proud of his father.
For many years Joshua secretly struggled with his sexual identity as he deflected the usual
questions from his parents about girlfriends, marriage, and a family. The year Joshua turned 37, he sat
his parents down and told them he was gay. At first they sat frozen in stunned silence. After a few
moments, his mother regained her equilibrium and told Joshua that she loved him and it made no
difference to her as long as he was happy. Nathan remained silent and eventually left the table
without a word. Nathan's assumptions had been truly shattered and he withdrew from his family
and sank into an uncharacteristic depression. After a few weeks, he sought my help to try to make
sense of what had happened.
"How could my son choose to be gay?" Nathan asked me during our first session. "He had a good
home, never wanted for anything, went to the best schools. We gave him love, everything he asked
for . . . how could this happen?" I could see and feel the depths of Nathan's confusion, anger, and
disappointment. "I've lost my son. How can I continue to have a relationship with him and expect
one day to face God? It isn't possible. I can't believe I have to forsake my own son! " Nathan was
indeed caught between a rock and a hard place. On one side stood a son whom he deeply loved and
cherished, on the other stood his beliefs, prejudices, and fears that had been shaped for most of a
century. There were so many conflicts
running through his mind that I wasn't sure
where to begin, so I just encouraged him to
I can't sacrifice my son for my faith,

yet I can't imagine living without my
faith. I feel like I'm being torn in two."
keep talking.
Over a number of sessions, Nathan told me about his early life, his marriage, and raising
Joshua. Story after story poured forth and I could see that he had done an excellent job of
integrating the various aspects of his life into a coherent narrative. "I'm no Abraham," Nathan told
me. "I can't sacrifice my son for my faith, yet I can't imagine living without my faith. I feel like I'm
being torn in two." I was beginning to suspect that Nathan's all-or-nothing, black-and-white
I was beginning to suspect that
Nathan's all-or-nothing, black-and-white
thinking was about to collapse.
thinking was about to collapse. At many

points, he would become silent as he

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reconsidered an idea or connected two previously disparate experiences. Here was an opening for
me to move from a solely supportive position and become a collaborator in solving his dilemma.
Thinking about it now, this would have been a good time for us to have read Huckleberry Finn.
What we did was gather information about homosexuality and how different religions
have dealt with the issue. We read articles together about how gender and sexual preference are
shaped by hormones and may be affected by stress during pregnancy. Nathan's thinking gradually
shifted from assuming that homosexuality was a conscious choice to an appreciation of the power of
our underlying biology. This shift in perspective went a long way in helping Nathan to see that his
son was not doing this to hurt him or his family. Together we read personal accounts of homosexual
men, especially the stories describing the men's anguish at coming out and being rejected by their
parents. I shocked Nathan one day by reminding him that the extermination of homosexuals, along
with the Jews, was part of Hitler's final solution. As he showed me pictures of Joshua as a young
boy, he began to put the pieces together. He recalled Joshua's avoidance of sports, his lack of
interest in girls, and how his room was always the best decorated one in the house. He told me that
when Joshua was 9, he had stopped his subscription to Sports Illustrated in preference for Architectural Digest.
"It's not easy to teach an old dog new tricks, is it, Lou?" Nathan asked after many months
of exploration and debate. "The truth is that I have no option but to love and accept my son. It's
the right thing to do; it's the only thing I can do. If this is who he is, then I have to learn to
If it means that I have to change synagogues,
rethink some of my beliefs, and deal with being
embarrassed in front of my friends, so be it. He
is my son, and nothing is more important."
understand and accept him. If it

means that I have to change
synagogues, rethink some of my
beliefs,
and
deal
with
being
embarrassed in front of my friends, so be it. He is my son, and nothing is more important." By now,
both of us had tears in our eyes. Nathan had somehow found the strength, courage, and flexibility
to deal with issues that required serious neural rewiring. Despite being an old dog, he had
certainly learned a new trick.
Nathan decided to invite Joshua to our next session because, as he said, "I might need
some backup." The session was wonderful. Nathan began by apologizing for his recent distance
and Joshua quickly accepted his father's apology. He seemed to appreciate and respect what his

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16

father had been going through and
had faith that he would eventually
understand. Joshua talked about his
He told me that of all the lessons he learned,

the most important was that life was confusing,
beautiful, and fragile.
struggle over the years with the

dawning awareness of being gay and his fears about what it would mean to his family. Nathan
looked over to me from time to time as Joshua described experiences similar to those we had read
about. By the end of the session, Nathan asked Joshua to take it slow and give him a little time before
he introduced him to his boyfriend. We all laughed.
In subsequent weeks, father and son spent time together and found a rabbi to speak to
about their relationship. I was very impressed with Nathan and let him know it. During one of our
final sessions, he recalled some of his experiences while serving in World War II. He told me that
of all the lessons he learned, the most important was that life was confusing, beautiful, and
fragile. "Nothing is more important than the people we love. If what I am doing is wrong," Nathan
said, "I hope God can understand and forgive me."
Nathan embodies many of the principles described in the research and suggested by my
students. He had learned to regulate his own emotions, face problems directly, come to appreciate
his own biases, and step back in order to examine a very emotional situationall the while
keeping in mind what was truly important. In my eyes, Nathan was the embodiment of the deepest
aspects of the faith he tried so conscientiously to follow.

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17
About the Author:
Dr. Cozolino is a Los Angeles

clinical psychologist, a Professor
of Psychology at Pepperdine
University and an Adjunct
Professor of Psychiatry at
UCLA. He is the author of four
books, The Neuroscience of
Psychotherapy, The Making of
a Therapist, The Neuroscience
of Human Relationships, and
The Healthy Aging Brain all
published by W.W. Norton.
more HERE
Click HERE to
purchase!

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The Maturation of

The National Institute for

The Healthy Aging Brain

The Healthy Aging Brain

The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine

The Healthy Aging Brain

8. The Maturation of Emotion

The more afraid we. . . become,

LEARNING NOT TO FEAR

The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine

The Healthy Aging Brain

. . . people with damage to this

(Drevets & Raichle, 1998; Kim et al.,

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The Healthy Aging Brain

In scientific terms, our fears

are resistant to extinction.

changing memory demands (Nader, 2003). In contrast,

larger amygdala enhance survival and be chosen

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The Healthy Aging Brain

TAMING THE AMYGDALA

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The Healthy Aging Brain

Advancing wisdom includes the

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

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The Healthy Aging Brain

OMPFC-amygdala system shift away

Overall, it appears that as we

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The Healthy Aging Brain

THE CYCLE OF OPTIMISM

Pessimism in early adulthood

robust health and living a "good life" is difficult to

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The Healthy Aging Brain

TABLE 8.1 The Positivity Effect

Less physiological responsiveness to emotion

Less sensation seeking

Increasing sense of emotional saliency

Less emotional lability

Greater understanding of emotional statess

Greater impulse contro1

More emotional coping strategies?

Greater affect regulations

Optimistic people may have more

positive expectancies for success, so

a positive spin. The optimism this may

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The Healthy Aging Brain

In the United States, it was found that

suggests that optimism may be correlated with

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The Healthy Aging Brain

4. Martin Luther King Jr.

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The Healthy Aging Brain

were transformed by their experiences and motivated

We can now be traumatized, not

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The Healthy Aging Brain

I can't sacrifice my son for my faith,

thinking was about to collapse. At many