Rickey Alexander

Rickey Dale Alexander

English 111
Stacy Jones
8 December 2014

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Table of Contents

Self-Assessment

Revised Essay (Far Away Friends)

Original Essay with instructors notes (Far Away Friends)

Writing Critique

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Self-Assessment
This year in my English composition class, I learned the many different ways to creatively
compose essays and articles in the most proper way. Through discussion board postings,
assigned texts, adequate classroom discussions and the knowledgeable teachings of my instructor,
Stacy Jones, I was able to expand my mind to instill proper composition techniques to daily life.
Recently in class, we was asked to bring one of our assigned texts to class in order to workshop
them. I chose the text I had written as my very first essay at the beginning of the semester, one of
which I received the lowest grade. Reading the essay in class, I was able to see evidence of what
I have learned since the beginning of the semester compared to now, the ending of the semester.
One of our very first assigned readings was entitled 'How To Say Nothing In 500 Words.' This
text was an essay that instructed the reader on the many ways to create an effective writing. The
author gave examples of fake writings, and gave his own personal examples of how to write the
perfect essay. He described the padding of essays with words that aren't suiting for the essay. I
believe this essay was one that is a key to look back on throughout any sort of writing. I often
used it as a helpful tool to research how to write my assigned essays this semester.

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Literary Narratives was one of the key pieces of texts we looked to in detail. Our instructor
taught us that these pieces of writings are basically storylines based from a memory, that
memory being as some sort of literary object. These essays require vivid detail and key people
and elements to fulfill a perfectly weighted paper. We was required to write our own literary
narrative in essay format. I chose to write about the correspondence from a dear friend and I
during his time serving our country in Afghanistan. My essay was composed of our
correspondence back and forth through letters.
Following the Literary Narrative pieces we went over, we moved on to learn about Textual
Analysis. A textual analysis is, basically, a well-researched way to make a point about a subject.
A Textual Analysis is composed of a summary of the text within the thesis and the thesis must be
the main focus of the essay. It is required to obtain many details, facts and evidence in order to
make a point throughout the essay.
One of the most interesting texts we was assigned was the memoirs. A memoir is an article
about a certain life experience that includes very vivid, sensory details. Unlike the other writings
we learned about, a memoir is basically the most personal form of writing, based on ones own
life experiences. I was also a fan of writing informed reports. An informal report is an essay
composed of something that the audience might not be well aware of, or even something
controversial. It is meant to stay neutral, not to follow one side or the other, it is simply intended
to inform the audience, rather than sway the audiences opinion.
I had the most trouble with the composition of an argumentative essay. Unlike an informal
report, an argumentative text is intended to attempt to sway the reader to agree with the point you
are trying to drive through with your paper. It is required to have very effective background

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information on the subject as well as strong evidence with a trustworthy stance on the matter.
Basically, you have to be fully committed to the one side of the argument you are trying to
present, you cant be on the fence. This is problematic for me, myself, because, with every issue,
I try to see both sides of whatever controversial issue is presented. Sources and citation is also a
requirement for this type of essay.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this semester of class. I was able to learn about incredible writers
such as David Sedaris and Eudora Welty, the two I chose as my favorites that was presented in
class. I found our blackboard posts to be very effective because once our thoughts was presented,
our classmates also offered their critique of what we had posted. Peer review on the essays was
also very beneficial, as it was a way to correct our rough drafts with the advice they had
suggested. I loved learning the many different ways of writing, as well as the grammatical
structures that fulfill and support the essay we was writing.

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Rickey Dale Alexander

Stacy Jones
English 111
22 September 2014
Revised
Far Away Friends
Afghanistan seems so far away. Its even further away whenever a loved one is there. War is
such a hard word to understand. Its even harder when war is your loved one's reality. A simple
letter from home seems so basic, but it is so critical when you are uprooted from your life,
planted on foreign ground with a job to do that requires missing your family and friends.
I can remember the crying faces and the looks of pain as we said goodbye. A simple promise
that everything was going to be fine, and a promise in return that I would help to fill in when
needed. We all gather for photographs that serve as a reminder when times would get rough.
Sincere hugs are spread out throughout the arena by young soldiers urging strength to the ones
they was leaving behind. My best friend was leaving the land of freedom to fight for our

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country's freedom. The chartered buses rolled away into a bright blue sky, heading for unfamiliar
territory. The roar of leading motorcycles parading the buses throughout the town filled our ears
with the painted colors of red, white and blue flying everywhere. A stream of tears rolled down
my best friends mothers face as she stretched her arms toward the buses, waved goodbye,
uttering the words, 'Goodbye baby.' With waves of goodbye, hurt etched on our faces, beaming
pride in our hearts and the inspiring colors of the American flags waving in the crisp air, we
prayed that a year would pass over as quickly as possible. And with that, they was gone.
A sunny day in the middle of June, with the heat escalating, white clouds hiding behind the tree
lines, I began the walk to the mailbox like so many times before. The heat on the asphalt urges it
to be a quick trip. Opening the squeaky lid, I rumbled through papers offering the best deals, bills
that demand attention, and a brown envelope that included my latest online purchase. My heart
beat with excitement. I had been expecting this package for weeks. I finally had it in my hands. I
rushed through the door of my home and a forgotten letter drops to the counter. My heart beat
loudly as I looked at the return address. SPC Lewis, William J. was etched on the right corner.
Directly opposite was a number of postage stamps of the red, white and blue flag we respect so
much that simply says freedom forever. I couldnt help but to appreciate that irony.
Immediately after my discovery, I forgot about my anticipated package. It was of least
importance now. I carefully opened the letter as if I was opening a letter from the White House. I
had written William quite a bit after his departure. With a heavy heart, I was beginning to get an
anxious rush in my brain to hear back from him.

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Forgive me, my time to write home has been limited here. Thank you so much for all of your
support. Be thankful! Always be thankful, God has his hand on you.
Suddenly, the image of my young friend, sitting in some uncomfortable barracks in the middle
of a land of sand and heat came into my mind. I could clearly picture him after a long and tiring
day, turning in to relax before the next job was ordered, writing home to his family. I could feel
the somberness in his heart as he communicated to his loved ones in the one way that was most
acceptable. I could see the specks of camouflage and Army green filling his new home. I could
see the danger in his job as he fought for the freedoms we love today.
If you ever feel as if you havent a friend to turn to, dont forget, thousands of miles away, a
soldier in a very bad place has a reason to smile, despite horrid conditions, because of you. So
smile. Be happy.
Our friendship was created after a new relationship with his beloved older sister, Bethany. Soon
enough, William came into my life and quickly became one of the most trusted and respected
friendships among the rest in my life. Whether it was hunting deer in his back yard after a
rainstorm that left the ground a muddy and tasteless color, or a simple visit after a long day of
work, William and his family had soon became another family unit that I could call my own. He
had soon become my brother.
Keep your head up and never give up. I appreciate you, Rickey, dont ever think otherwise.
Until next time.

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1

The letter soon ended just as quickly as it started. I cried as I read the words my friend had
written so carefully. I immediately wanted to brag to the world at how incredible an
influence he was upon my life. I wanted others to appreciate him just as much as I did.
Before saying goodbye to the letter, I read it for another time. In the right-hand corner, below
where the date was marked, I saw the Latin words De Opresso Liber. Curious as to what this
meant, I conducted an online search. I soon learned that it meant 'To free the oppressed. This
saying is a motto used by the United States Army, I soon learned. Learning this new term, I
began to become even more prideful in what William was doing.
After my investigation of the inscription, I tucked the letter back into its home, a simple white
envelope that had traveled across the world to end up in my possession. I placed the envelope
into my Bible that I use on a regular basis as a bookmark for a passage in the book Psalm that
stated that God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1-3). Placing
the Bible right next to my nightstand, I began to compose my next letter to my far away friend.
The days, weeks and months passed; critical Holidays came and went without his presence.
Daily visits to the home he shared with his sister, mother and niece continued. Summer changed
to fall, and fall faded into winter. Finally, after a bone chilling snow that left the town painted
white, I received news that William was coming home a few months early; he would be leaving
Afghanistan within the next weeks.
Excitement tore through my veins. Anticipation to meet up with my friend was a daily thought
in my mind. From the time I woke until the time I fell asleep everyday, I knew this would be

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another passing day that was getting closer to the day William would be home.Tattered and
weathered yellow ribbons that had been placed around town and hugging the trees of our home
was soon exchanged with a new shade of yellow ribbon.
The day had arrived. William was finally home after serving the United States for almost a year
abroad. I quickly rushed out the door to work upon receiving news that he was home. Red lights
throughout the town weren't as anxious as I was and it seemed as if time was creeping by.
Driving over an angry river, I noticed on my left the banner of a restaurant embracing his
welcome home. Seeing this made it a reality, my best friend was finally home.
I pulled onto a private drive in Savannah with vehicles scattered to my left and to the right. I
shut the roaring engine off and begin my adventure to a home I had been a guest to so many
times before. I began to wonder the differences that would be created in Williams life, I began
to worry that maybe our friendship would be over. The media put stress and emphasis on post
war attitudes. This feeling soon subsided as I approached the doorway and before I could place
my fist to the door to create a knock, the door swung open with the silhouette of a broad,
muscular and tired young man in the doorway. He grabs my hand and shakes it in the most
reassuring way and pulls his sister and me into a hug. I utter the words welcome home. The
night is filled with catching up on events that had played part in the time he was absent,
particularly all of the new adventures his beloved niece has learned and events she had
experienced, sharing laughs as she hustled up the stairways where she knew her grandfather was
bound to be awaiting her with some sort of goodie that would drive the adults crazy, and, of
course, partaking in the meal his grandmother had slaved over for hours. He talked about the
climate of Afghanistan and his daily life abroad, the food and their culture. William's job has

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taken him all over the world and he tries to save currency from each country he visited. He then
pulled out several crisp bills, explaining their money system overseas. Overall, the night was
filled with just being in the moment and appreciating him, paying thanks that he was home,
safely, as so many soldiers aren't as lucky. William then explained the importance of being at
home even when he was away from home, possible by letters from those in his circle of life. The
letters we published to him on a weekly basis was the strength he needed to carry through the job
he had been chosen to do. The letters reassured him of his place in so many peoples lives, just as
his letters had done the exact same thing.

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Rickey Dale Alexander

Stacy Jones
English 111
22 September 2014
Original with Instructors remarks
Far Away Friends
Afghanistan seems so far away. Its even further away whenever a loved one is there. War is
such a hard word to understand. Its even harder when war is your loved ones reality. A simple
letter from home seems so basic, but it is so critical when you are uprooted from your life,
planted on foreign ground with a job to do that requires missing your family and friends.
I can remember the crying faces and the looks of pain as we said goodbye. A simple promise
that everything was going to be fine, and a promise in return that I would help to fill in when
needed. My best friend was leaving the land of freedom to fight for our country in a land where
we are hated for the American blood we bleed. The chartered busses rolled away into a bright
blue sky, heading for an unfamiliar territory. With waves of goodbye, hurt etched on our faces,
beaming pride in our hearts and the inspiring colors of the American flags waving in the crisp
air, we prayed that a year would pass over as quickly as possible.
A sunny day in the middle of June, with the heat beginning to become born again, white clouds
playing peek-a-boo behind the tree lines, I began the walk to the mailbox like so many times

Rickey Alexander 13
1

before. The heat on the asphalt demands it to be a quick trip. Opening the mouthy and squeaky
lid, I rumbled through papers offering the best deals, bills that demand your attention and a
brown envelope including my latest online purchase. Excitement tore through my veins. I had
been expecting this package for weeks. I finally had it in my hands. I rush through the door of
my home and a forgotten letter drops to the counter. My heart beat loudly as I looked at the
return address. SPC Lewis, William J. was etched on the right corner. Directly opposite was a
number of postage stamps of the red, white and blue flag we respect so much that simply says
freedom forever. I couldnt help but to appreciate that irony.
Immediately after my discovery, I forgot about my anticipated package. It was of least
importance now. I carefully opened the letter as if I was opening a letter from the White House. I
had written William quite a bit after his departure. With a heavy heart, I was beginning to get an
anxious rush in my brain to hear back from him.
Forgive me, my time to write home has been limited here. Thank you so much for all of your
support. Be thankful! Always be thankful, God has his hand on you.
Suddenly, the image of my young friend, sitting in some uncomfortable barracks in the middle
of a land of sand and heat came into my mind. I could almost very vividly picture him after
a long and tiring day, turning in to relax before the next job was ordered, writing home to his
family. I could feel the somberness in his heart as he communicated to his loved ones in the one
way that was most acceptable. I could see the specks of camouflage and Army green filling his
new home. I could see the danger in his job as he fought for the freedoms we love today.
If you ever feel as if you havent a friend to turn to, dont forget, thousands of miles away, a
soldier in a very bad place has a reason to smile, despite horrid conditions, because of you. So
smile. Be happy.
Our friendship was created after a new relationship with his beloved older sister, Bethany. Soon

Rickey Alexander 14
1

enough, William came into my life and quickly became one of the most trusted and respected
friendships among the rest in my life. Whether it was hunting deer in his back yard after a
rainstorm that left the ground a muddy and tasteless color, or a simple visit after a long day of
work, William and his family had soon became another family unit that I could call my own.
Friends are the family we create for ourselves, and he had soon become my brother.
Keep your head up and never give up. I appreciate you, Rickey, dont ever think otherwise.
Until next time.
The letter soon ended just as quickly as it started. Water filled my eyes as I read the words my
friend had written so careful. I immediately wanted to brag to the world at how incredible an
influence he was upon my life. I wanted others to appreciate him just as much as I did.
Before saying goodbye to the letter, I read it for another time. In the right-hand corner, below
where the date was marked, I saw the Latin words De Opresso Liber. Curious as to what
the meaning of these words meant, I opened a Google search to learn that it meant to free the
oppressed. This saying is a motto used by the United States Army, I soon learned.
After my investigation of the inscription, I tucked the letter back into its home, a simple white
envelope that had traveled across the world to end up in my possession. I placed the envelope
into my Bible that I use on a regular basis as a bookmark for a passage in the book Psalm that
stated that God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1-3). Placing
the Bible right next to my nightstand, I began to compose my next letter to my far away friend.
The days, weeks and months passed, critical Holidays came and went without his presence.
Daily visits to the home he shared with his sister, mother and niece continued. Summer changed
to fall, and fall faded into winter. Finally, after a bone chilling snow that left the town painted
white, I received news that William was coming home a few months early, he would be leaving
Afghanistan within the next weeks.

Rickey Alexander 15
1

Excitement tore through my veins. Anticipation to meet up with my friend was a daily thought
in my mind. Upon waking up throughout the day until a sleepy stupor finally visited me, I knew
this day would pass which meant his arrival home was one day closer. Tattered and weathered
yellow ribbons that had been placed around town and hugging the trees of our home was soon
exchanged with a new shade of yellow ribbon.
The day had arrived. William was finally home after serving the United States for almost
a year abroad. I quickly rushed out the door to work upon getting the message. Red lights
throughout the town wasnt as anxious as I was and it seemed as if time was creeping by.
Driving over an angry river, I notice on my left the banner of a restaurant embracing his
welcome home. Seeing this made it a reality, my best friend was finally home.
I pull onto a private drive in Savannah with vehicles scattered to my left and to the right. I shut
the roaring engine off and begin my adventure to a home I had been a guest to so many times
before. I began to wonder the differences that would be created in Williams life, I began to
worry that maybe our friendship would be over. The media puts stress and emphasis on post war
attitudes. This feeling soon subsided as I approached the doorway and before I could place my
fist to the door to create a knock, the door swung open with the silhouette of a broad, muscular
and tired young man in the doorway. He grabs my hand and shakes it in the most reassuring way
and pulls his sister and me into a hug. I utter the words welcome home. The night is filled with
catching up on events that had played part in the time he was absent, sharing laughs as his
rambunctious niece hustled up the stairways where she knew her grandfather was bound to be
awaiting her with some sort of goodie that would drive the adults crazy. William then explained
the importance of being at home even when he was away from home, possible by letters from
those in his circle of life. The letters we published to him on a weekly basis was the strength he

Rickey Alexander 16
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needed to carry through the job he had been chosen to do. The letters reassured him of his place
in so many peoples lives, just as his letters had done the exact same thing.

You have some very nice moments in this piece, Rickey. Overall, the phrasing is well done.
However, be careful not to overdo it at times; remember that strong verbs are always better than
adjectives. Be consistent with your verb tenses, and look back over subject-verb agreement
(singular versus plural in the paper). In terms of content, the piece seems to stop too abruptly.
Further, since the paper is a literacy narrativeregarding your literacy specificallyit needs to
pertain more to you writing, not someone else.

Grade: 80/B
B = Good Work: All requirements are met and some are exceeded. The writing is above average
and possesses the qualities of good writing. Although good, this essay lacks some of the
originality and vigor of the A essay. The B essay includes relevant points and supports general
statements with specific details. There is a clear thesis and essay maintains focus throughout.
The introduction is effective, transitions are used and the conclusion is thoughtful. There may
be some variety in structure, detail, and vocabulary. This essay may contain a few errors in
grammar, mechanics, spelling, or usage.

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Writing Critique
I believe my best writing was included in the informative report essay I turned in. I chose the
topic of the Holly Bobo Abduction. Through personal ties to the story, as well as adequate
research from various media outlets who have covered the case, I was able to compose the essay
in an effective way that told the story, beginning with statistics about missing persons cases,
background information on the victim, as well as a thorough description of the events of the
morning of the abduction and the events that have played out since. I think this was my best
writing this semester because it was presented in a matter that leaves the reader to want to know
more information, as well as it leaves the audience to wonder about what will happen next in the
case. It also presents information matter of factly, but leaves the reader to draw their own
conclusions.
My weakest writing would be my argumentative essay. I chose to write on the global debate of
assisted suicide. I included a person experience from a high profile story in the recent months, a
definition of what assisted suicide is and background information on the topic. I also gave many

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pros to the issue but also listed some cons. I feel like this was my weakest essay as I wasn't able
to fully comprehend how to present this debate in my essay as it is a very complex issue. I also
had trouble understanding the citation and works cited process.