By Theodor Etzel and Hanns Heinz Ewers 1901 (TE)

(Der Affe und die Rinder)

From “Ein Fabelbuch”
Translated by Joe E. Bandel
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign
Author originally published prior to 1923

The Monkey And The Herd Of Cattle

The miraculous trained monkey from the nearby circus ran into the barn precisely around
noon. The cattle lay far and wide in their own shit enjoying themselves with idiotic cud
chewing. They took the last eaten fodder and regurgitated it once more into their mouth
to more thoroughly chew and digest it properly.

The clever monkey thought he would perform for the cattle and gave his best doing some
very queer things. He danced the minuet, stood on his head, ran in circles, and did
summersaults, cartwheels and death defying leaps.

The oxen, the cows and even the young calves stared stupidly at him–as if they could do
such things. There was no loud applause–only the strong movement of their jaws as they
started chewing again. The monkey watched as they all went back to chewing and asked
the nearest ox:

“What does it mean when you dance all the time with your jaws, grind your teeth and
flick your tongues? Good heavens! It is the only sound in this entire muggy cattle pen!”
The ox laughed out of its mouth so the entire barn could hear, “You stupid show-off, you!
Is that all you can do? Did you think you could dazzle and bewilder us with your antics
when you don’t even understand about chewing your cud? You call us cattle dumb–and
yet every calf can do so much more than you can! You see, your skill is only half of it!”

The monkey thought he could show them how clever he was, yet the cattle’s broad
laughter followed him in the distance as he left.