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oer ast Pony THE BLACK BOOK SCOR U TOE AY ren Se Ce ee ee cee rd EO ee estes See Ty a ee eo eee ers Ss ee ee ee D ns eee ae een Dr. Hyatt’s THE BLACK BOOK VOLUME IV etal Ts Macey Become Who You fre—There fire No Guarantees Ec Ce ne aN Da Ben Mack, Jonathan Sellers PO acne er er ‘Mlustrated by S. Jason Black On ‘Some Other Titles From New Falcon Publications Unauing Yourself Wie Berge Mediation Th. Psychopath Bible Teoniquesfor Undoing Yurstf(CD) Set Mare Tira de Tarts The Wey of he Sere Lover Sere of ster Tanto The Sexuality of the Mle Pah By Christopher S Hyatt, PLD. ets & Deri The Poco of Literation Edited by Chistoper®: Hyat, PhD. with contributions by Wm. 5. Burzoughs Timothy Leary, Robeet Anton Wilson eal oot With the Deit-A Chronic of Sex, Blspeny & Liberation Urn Vo: Berrie to Afo-Caiban Mag Dancing wii tee Are By 5 Jason Black and Christophers. Hyatt, PhD. Taboo: Ss, eligion & Magick ‘By Christer 8. Hyal, Ph.D. Lon Milo DuQuete et Cosme Trigger: The Fil Seoet ofthe itumina Prametbeas Rising TSOG: Te Thing That Ae de Contention 7800" The CD Neuropottigue By Tiny Leary, PD. Chass Magick Ao CDs PrsberMasicks Advanced least Chaos Magick By Peter]. Caroll Condensed Choos: An ttroduction to Chaos Magick Prime Chaos: Adventurer in Chace Alagick iy Phil Hine The Complete Golden Davm System of Mage (New, Expanded Eatin) Th Golden Dron Ataio CDs The Wont of Eacchlon Page (CD) By Isa Regaie Atrology & Consciousness By Rio Oley Bevond Dual: The Av of Transcendence By Laurence Galen Zen Without Zen Masters By Cando Benacea Please visit our website at http://www.newfalcon.co) and visit Dr. Hyatt at http:/Avww.drhyatt. THE BLACK BOOK VOLUME IV Breaking Free Secome Who You Are—There Are No Guarantees by Christopher 8. Hyatt, Dr. Jack Wills Ben Mack Jonathan Sellers ‘Mobiusframe and “Algorithm” PhD. Mlustrated by 8. Jason Black A Pontsesriow oF ‘Tue Exrnene INpiviuat Ivstrrure Naw Patcon Pusiicarions Tem, ARIZONA, US.A Copyright © 2004 CF by CrtopherS. Hy Alright eserve. No par ofthis Book, in part o¢ in whole, may he reproduced, transite, oF utilized, in'any foam or by any meats, elecionie or mechatical, including photocopying, recond- ing, ot by any information storage and revieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except or bret quota fons inertial ails, books aed reviews Intemational Standart Book Number: -S6I84-181-1 Fis ition 2004 Ades all inquiries: New FALCON PUMLeNTioNs 1739 East Broadway Road #1277 Tempe, AZSS22 USA, (on, 320 Bast Charest Blvd. #204-286 website: hupstwwnfaleon.com The symbol you see i hat of the “Extreme Individual Insta." ‘The goal of the institute is simple: to assist extrome individuals to ‘become wha they are ‘This work is For that 105 of marginal people who desire to become ‘greater than they ane now, Its no a forum or discussion or argument ‘The methods of the Institute are simple: “work” in the arena of the ‘obvious as well athe sublime, However, we are only conestned with results and not moralism—wht a person docs with his power is his brsines. ‘Werk is done individually via both personal contact and the internet, ps a yearly coming together dane either i the physical or on the interes, “There isasirict entree exam and monthly payments are required for the cperation ofthe Insite. Christopher S, Hyatt, PhD. Head Coach ‘contact: info@newfaleon.com Ihtips/wwwnewfaleon.com btips/www-drhyattanet Extreme Livinc THe Power AppRoAcH— Tue AuTHENTiC ResPONsE Bexavion, Personauty & CHaracten By CHalstopHer S. Hyatt, PH.D. Da. Jack Wits & Ben Mack The dark ages sl eign over all ay an the deh per sistance now hoccming ler Thin Dak Age's pion as 0 el hr, chains, or locks set, eked ty disorentation aod tw from misinformation. We are poweruly mpesoned in thse Dark ee simply hy the terms in which we have Been con = R Buckminster Flr, Cosmegraphy (Our fest job in understanding life isto have a framework of analysis ‘Tis framework, thovgh, should not bea sraighgjacket tha inbibts our spontaneity. It should be a method for understanding ourselves ard ‘hers that ee os From srightjackes The difficulty with most theories about psychology and personality is that they're So Sophisticated and remote that they're almost unusabl That is not accessry. After atleast 100 years of sound psychological knowledge, it we don't have all th answers, we certainly hive enough allow us to make more use of our eapacies. Black Book 4 leverages this {echrology to give you easly accessible techniques to apply to yeu ite staring today “Tir Avene PowEN ATIROAGHT Black Book # emphasis a elaboration of the approach deseribed in the earlier Black Books. My purposes aot to tell you which ofthe many approaches to use, hi raiher to provide you with an arsenal of allematives. The authentic= power approach will help you build confidence. Additionally, master Ing this method wl show yo. how” most people in our modem world, don't behave 10 ticle own advantage, Here I will provide you with insight on how to contro their often ieatonal and les fetes Let's Begin. Extreme Individual Bio-Philosophy (€18) EB is an easy and straightforward way of looking a life an people in neral Most people ive according to hee basi Forms: 1) Safe 2) Feared 3) Catastrophic Most people are incapable of living the fourth way: ahenicextreme/ power “The safe relationship is what you usually do, I is what you are comfort able with “The fered relationship is what you fear will happen if you dont play it safe ‘The eatstophic relationship isthe unacceptable metaphysical label that (or others) would give yon if you did your Feared relationship. For ‘Example, if you and others viewed You as a kind persca” saying “no” ‘person in desperate need would give you the label of a sash ‘You use your safe life to avoid your feared life hocause you expest it wil lead to your catastrophic Iie. Isa fairly clean and simple system, And, inl, tha Is as simple us mt lives are, Ks simplicity, however, i only an illusion hecause there is a fourth way of living. This is called th ‘auhensc, the powerful or the extreme life Sofe, Feared, Catostrophic In the extreme life, you don’t live trying to balance thre types of life styles. You live ofly one: the authentc—the powerul—the extreme Uni you can spot, analyze and use the oer thre less authentic styles Sou will or have sustainable power. on being so arcane and lerstand what we're siying-and that’s be catie we use words like acane and eruite, Bu, H would be strange indeed, i something that we all do—namely vin that noone could understand i If 6s I maintain, th whole living busines is rally prety easy to under Stand, then why haven't others presented i this way before? To be pe Feetly honest, don’t know, Frankly, {don't think T'm so speeal that 19 ‘one else could have worked this out, Nor have I come up with aay shat tering new theoretical formulation that required some spark of erative ‘When Iwas writing this booklet, Thad task myself why noone else Bad done it before [concluded that cither psychotherapists love to be teribly technical about everying, or simply that no one had bothered, Appacenty hors thon’t care about what Leareabout—fostering and promoting the extreme indivi Do the above paragraphs sound asi Lam belting myself The answer is no” —take heart. [wrote them that way t give you a graphic illst tion of avoiding paying it safe, doing what people might tink I shoul Fear, and facing an imagined catastrophe. And, of caurs, Tam not worse forthe experience: Iam biter, Forme, as an autor and former practic ing psychotherapist, the sae Tife would be to have everyone think my hook is profourn!—to think that [have developed some great new theory snl hat thanks to me, the World has now bee set aright. The supposed fear sto have my book erticized a rt, unimaginative tceven Worse, just pai ily The feared catastrophe is that all of my colleagues will sneer at me, avoid ime at professional meetings, make jokes about me when T am not round worse, wien Lam arourid—an abo! me a fol. Well, I hink this Hook fall about...facing your fears. So, TI say ahead of me that this book is simple 8 not profound, and if any of my colleagues want to soe a me, they can he my sve TExexciae To Fosrux Exrnin Ling (Get out your journal In your jour, ask youself Is there a relationship between powerful ind authentic? IF so, what ii? Explore the idea of power in living Explore the idea of authentiity in living, Joural on this fr the next three days €xtreme Individual Psychology (€IP) {o's look ut xtreme Individual Peychology (EP), the psychology of Fsteme Individual Bio-Philesophy (E18), One: The Safe Life ‘The safe life is what we are willing 10 allow ourselves do, or be in any Pmticularsiwation, Iisa behavior or an atid that we regard as ac ceptable. is our customary, silized way of acting, Is our rbot sll scene 1 Your parents are coming ever for Sunday dinner. Despite the fact tht ‘you afe martied and have two kids, your mother stil ties to mam your Tite, You ane very fara wih the pattern, No mater what you do, thet igalways a better way to doit: her way. Your sit-year-old son splay ‘with his toy ears, hut he should he tying to read, Your seven year ol da g television, but she should be helping to set the fable. You weigh an extra 1 pounds, so you should not be eating pote ‘oes fr dinner. Your farce could use new paint job. Your ehldren ‘ave not siting up straight a the table, dey are developing bal posture and, ater, iti time forthe kis toe in bed? er constant criticism and corection annoys the hell out of you. Bt afterall, this is your mathe, so you swallow your annoyance and With het. Anything wo keep the peace, Smile through the evening is your se mode. After all, you rationalize his is who sho i, and no ma. ter what you sa, she is not going to change. There is no sense spoiling the evening and, besides, cis only few evenings a year so why make a Fass aver nothing? Your safe elationship is puting up with hee rae Df your choices and way af doing things. scene 2 You have frend who is alvay’s late for everything. She swears up and down that tis time she will he not be late, and will mest you atthe 8 ess and her disespost restaurant 12:30, She shows up 20 minates lat, thus ining all your planning forthe afternoon, As usual she has an excuse. Iewas a last te phone eal tas rai, i was nding a parking space—some- thing always prevented her fom showing upon Gime. In time you have learned (o simply expect her to be late. You start to Inchide hor Isteness in your planning of events If dinger is at 6:30, you fell her f00 so that she will he the by 6:30. But even then you are never sure. Tere have been tines when she hus been an hour, even a hour and «half, ate, You note the growing resentment on Your part. She js being disrespect, as though your tne and your plans were ire tant. You also notios her self-enteredness—as theush whenever she happens to show up is when events should stat, But what ean you do swith your annoyance’? You stato inctnde her less in your plans. Gradually youe friendship wil just kind of fade away, oF at feast tit is wal you hope. You're sory to Tose contact since she is really fun fo talk to and you enjoy your time together ‘Your ste relationship i 1 not deal with the reason why your friendship has to end, Why have a confrontaon? There is no reason to het hee Feelings, You can aocomplish th breakp without being so hut to he. [Aor ll, she probly can not hep beng late; that i just who she is The Safe relationship 1s the easy way outs bter that you should cary the fesentment than to confront the situation and tll her that you cam 0 longer continue your fendship becase her chromic lateness just 00 Aismptive to your The safe life changes with circumstances, age, and our situations in je. What we'd dost 18, we might regard as foolish or silly shen we're 28 oF 38, What we do when we've been drinking, we usually wouldn't dream ff doing when we are sober. Much of what We do at home we ustally ‘wouklnt do when wee out [Even considering all the changes tat develop with circumstance or age at any one tne we each have certain set ways of acting in all of our ustomary stations this sealed our sie of If, Overtime, we set ted fo ourselves acting in these preset ways: we have ways that we at At parties, and ways that we act a work, and ways we act sith fiends, ‘and <0 on for close family, strangers and relatives, These preset ways of ‘cting, no: mate the reason, comprise your se ie. 9 If everything you normally do isan example of playing i safe, then it follows that most other possibilities other ways of acting tht you don’t usually chose—are potential examples ofthe feared life. To pti sim- ply: Your feared life may be any way of acting that differs fom your Safelite “Sane Lant = Stanian Benavion Playing it safe dowst mean being non-confrontational for some i eas acting tough. 17 "tough guy” bumps inio someone of treet ths pecson's sae action i say, "Walch where you're going.” So, his fated aetion could be to say, “Excuse me," or“ bes your par op," or silence, or any comment caer than "Watch where you're {oing” OF course. not all ofthese other possible responses wold bo qualy feared, If he were absolutely forbidden to say his sae phrase, he wouldn't be spoochless he would choose another stern it ‘woul he the one that was least feared—probably something spares- sive, For this Fellow, playing i safes acting ou, Two: The Feared Life ‘Thowe may be many fers stifling you ito any given ‘To uncover your speific fears, we must first examine characteristics of Feared ations. Once you have Tears to spot the differen. parts of your EDP, them you can te a easy step to Fiving your authentic kent. nd begin o enjoy an unshackled mind. Exareme Living removes your mental Sirnigjackets as it makes the drivers of these liilaions appareat 10 you Consistency: While safe actions change with ine and circumstance, our feared actions tend to e consistent ever time and circumstances, Sable consistencies have long been ertonecusly called your basic personality “The wicks to identify the consistent fear beneath the pattems of ation, ‘Mos often, a quiet child becomes a quiet teenager, who then becomes 2 jet adult. Por example, i a quiet person's feared action is being the nie of atenion, then in most circumstances the sie action i 0 not speak up. 1 your feared action is appears (quiet cenager and become a eater dumb, then one might have been a I, This adult bas 10 found a way to speak up without dhe risk of appearing dumb, but he ‘onl til be a slave to his Feared life Because he limits his interactions te acalegory within which be has mastery. ‘This “smart guy” has bil safe ie within the entity of being smart— he will go to extreme lengths to acquire mastery in order t fend of Possbiliies of appearing damb. You can ofton see im revert to being ‘juiet when there's a conversation autside of his seope of expertise. The Start ey wil often rigidly avoid mew situations ad avoid eonversations thou topics in which he doesn't have mastery. His responses to ques tions my sound very messired and extraoeinarily deliberate, bat set ally he is avoiding his feared situation Svirions OF Fear ‘Often avoiding a feared action masquerles a pots, indifference, ‘oreven as principle Instead of admitting that you'e afraid to door say 2 certain thing, ou will say is nb polite, its someting. you're not “terested in, or i's asain your prineiples. It can be dificlc o sor ‘ut whit is tly @ mutter of eonsidertion, or interest ot principe {om what is simply masquerade fora feared reset. 1 you are ddvelting on a situation, chances are hte is an underlying feared Extreme Living does allow forthe socal necessity of politeness or vor ‘ieration. The difference is tht you are no longer hiding behind polite ness or consideration asa means of supporting Your fear, As you besin to recognize your re feared actions, you ae facing your fears. Facing your Fears inereasas your stength “The techniques that follow will help you face your imagined fears and the imagined catastrophes that you think will follow. You can ca: ovsly play it safe as you have done...or you can confront your fears ‘The point i simple yon are in charge of how you wll act. Three: The Catastrophic Life Just as the safe ation is self defined —it's safe because we think i's Sife_S0, 00, is our eatastrophe. Most fen, caastophe exists, N00 ‘ealty but ony in your mind, your assumptions and your imaginings. (Our feared response is feared hecause it's expected 0 lead to a catasto- ‘Phe—but not al alternative responses would equally lead (0 some self Aefined catastrophe, Some of the altemate responses might be only rnilaly threatening or feat and, of course, others moreso. The closer an allemate response ito the idea it would bring onthe expected, ima ined catastrophe, the more four it wonld be. Keop in mind that most catastrophes are imagined, this catastrophe contains some sort of judgment ct might be someting ike: “I I'm not good enough.” Whatever its Term, this {you personally think is damning anor danger- “The catastrophe can be exactly opposite for diferent people. For on, it abe: “Tam ungratefl"; al for ster“ am too considerate” Sin lary, for one it can he “Tam selfish,” and for another “Lam being taken advantage o:” Whatever form the catastrophe takes, i's something ye personaly rpard a damning and unacceptable Tir Innate Won “Maintaining illusions ic draining. A awsul oF muginod cataxteophes, _yuinhibic yourself and nao. your spontaneity and ality to exper fence new things. unl you keep yourself fom developine Your power ful, authemic sett takes less energy 10 be, because you have move posse 0 dave fom, Recall the example of dinner with your mother: you safe ation is bing 8 good child and a good host. Your feared action is being an ungrateful hill and so thin-skinned that you can't deal with your mother's exit ism, Your catastrophe is thal you are an ungrateful child and you Soul be able o fake her constant tities 3 ust asian of hee concern ‘Your extreme power action woul be to admit yourself th you don't getalong with your mothe and, if she can not sop her constant stems {0 el you how w run your life, then You will break fF conta This scene illustrates point about catastrophes: They cam be the same 1s the feared action. Except for making the analysis esir, that doesnt change anything. The feared action is sll something you ty (0 avoid because it wil lead v the caxstrophe. And the catastrophe sill conains a judgment about yousll a "Now recall the example about the fiend who was always late, Your safe ‘ction is trying to plan om her being lat and just include that in your ‘plans. Your fared acronis acknowledging your desires and then having {hem dismissed or having no effect on her subsequent behavior. Your ‘caasrophe is thst you were never important to your friend to begin with ‘and, this, what you like or dislike makes no diference to her Assumptions de Fantasies: Catastrophes alsa’ involve assumptions an stay involve fanases, Dreams and daydreams are fantasies, bat notte kindof fanasy involved in catastrophes, The catastrophe involves thd kind of fantasy This Kin has no special name i simply elle fantasy. Is like a area, ‘excep that ges By so fas a nearly al instances the person having the fantasy is unaware of it. I's mo more than the flash ofan idea, the i ofan image, oF he ash of a feeling. Because cis fantasy i ustally something we don’t want to recognize or think about, the mind is eained to block it from conssiousness. Your fantasy comes and goes without your even being aware oft This kind of fantasy invelves something that you expect will happen to you that you don't ike or that seedy hor Ties you So, catastrophes always involve assumptions and usally invelve fantasy. ‘One assumptions is tat oxher people concer themselves with our Deka ior The fantsy i what you expost another person will door think i you allow yourself to do what you far For example, let's suppose that your safe action is never saying “No.” Your feared action is saying “No.” And e's assume that your eatasit- pc that yon will be thought of as selF-eentered. Within that earasro phe isthe assumption thatthe other person wil think aboot you and flout what type of person you ae. Further, you assume that when this ‘pemon thinks about your relusil, he or she will dra the sane conclusion that you do: tha you ae a self-centered person. Finally, you assme that they even want you to say "Yes.” They might, in fal, want you to say aes ‘Though your assumption might be that they look at you and think: “What ddo you mean "No" That's very self-centered of You,” sil, that is a9 ‘ssumption, And even i is tr, how serious it really? Yer that's the Sul hat enasiophes ae mado of unlikely assumptions and improbable fantasies which lead you fo get stick in our robotic, safe, and unfilled lite 1B Now lets look a some seen that illustrate the safe Fie, the feared Hie, the catastrophic Ife, and the extreme/authentic!powerful life. As 1 present these scenes will add some moce points about the EIPprinci- ples, and then we'll take a look at in-depth situations to see hovs EIP ‘works in practice Before you read Scene 1, do sou tink you can answer he GREAT | BLACK BOOK QUESTION: Hw ae pol and utile? 'AS you linplement tcies from Black Rook 4. begin with peripheral relationships. When you act differendy, ethers around you will begin to set diferent, Sometimes this wll Rave an immediate enti, other times you will fge resistance, Resistance may fut and iy come in svaves. The discomfor you Teel is what has been Keeping your safe Pattern in place. The more you practice hein athentt, the easier it till be Fr yeu to iterate tis approach aerons mote substantive areas ‘of your if, Tes like learning to ride a bike you are going to fall dover afew tes and it wil hurt But it huss les i you arent going down a really step hill Similarly, once you have mastered the bal ‘ance, both ring a bike and interacting wih anthenticiy wil be elfor less. Extreme Living Scenarios scene ‘You're at breakfast before going to work, and your wife says: “Dusting, ean T meet you for lunch today? I'm going to be out shopping and I ‘would loves have lanch with you” You feel « moments ieation, You ‘nad planned to ge out with your fiends at the office fora nie lng hunch and about foe drinks. Forth fist ime in ong time ow ar aught up with your work, nd yu ad panned to take aa Situation to be alittle naughty. You'd mach father go out with your Friends from the office, but thal would mean relusing your wife. So in stead, you say: “Sire, honey. That wold be nice, 1 just happen to be ugh up with work and we can have «nize log lunch together” Your safe actions what you usually do. You ao, of course, consider: | ate husband! who always thinks first of your wife's desivs an wef, ‘Therefore you give up your. own wants and agree have Tanch with her ‘Your fara action is saying "No" lo your wie when you don't have any vs legitimate excuse (since, for you, your own wants do not constitute a Ieeitimate excuse, Your catastrophe is being an arbitra, lish, incon serie husband who never shows his wife any attention. Your extremelauhentielpowerfl action would be to admit that, while yon do have time, you simply don’t feet like having neh with her {ovay; that another day you'd ike to have lunch with her, but today you ‘want to go on with your fiends from the office. Scene 2 ‘Your children ae playing @ game of "You can show 11:30 pam. and thoy will nt stay in bed ‘The samo scene is reposted night after night. k's now time for your rightly explosion of yelling and threats, the sme scene that will here peed fomarraw night, You go into your act, and half hour Later they're Finally asleep, leaving You too upset and tired for anything else but to goto bed yoursel Your safe action is heinga distraught parent with naughty children. Your feared action is leaving the kids alone, leting them stay up forever if ‘hey lke and, thus, not having anything Co Fight about. Your catastrophe is nt behaving the way you think a parents suppose to behave: you're ‘bia patent hecause you ean'tcomtrel your children the way you think parent ae supposed to ‘Your power action would be to recognize that “controlling your chil: ‘ren fs jst an arbitrary standard that someone ese setup and wich you have Been blindly following, Tht is sor necessary! That there ae oiber sways of eating to your child than though controlling their bedtime, and iFanyone wants to think badly of yo Tor ta, then i's thei concer, not ‘This scene illustrates several ofthe points about the ETP, No doubs, any parent with young children is going to have a dozen reasons why its hecessery for the children to hen bed “on tm": their Rell, test noe for eight hous sleep how they'll ke tired or ovetited the next day, how they need to get up or school, and s0 on. Every one of these reasons, though, is actvaly a jusifieation for your safe response. Any of those feasons may OF may not be true, but the facts, dere isan alternative. ‘You might not approve of it, hut ites exist You don’t use this aera tive, you don't approve of tis altemaive, precisely because it's a feared tition, These age afterall, parents who don't make anise of edie. make me go o bed. I Is So you nan doit, And if you don,t reanons i's hocause being a dist ting your children stay up isa feared not tly for any of your ist of he parent sa safe lfestyle and er ANODNG "Your safe relationships have had years io envench dbennelves, Your first tasks to discover your feared and your catastrophe rltionsbips ‘Then you should try to recognize them asa mirage—a percepuon that is actually helping to hold that safe relationship in place. Idenifying your divees is nots importants changing your behavior, Ifyou ‘Mentiy «habit of safe action you invend to change, then change i. De ning other than what you have historically done. You will find yournell evolving iin mare authentic communications hecanse you ‘illo longer he grasping Your established etuches of habit scene s ‘Your wie i going out night witha gintrend. You hae agreed nthe past tha you sould both ave your “night ou wih ede, But 0 Stspec ia theyte gem out io pick up some gy and have a deat ‘Mfr She has gone ou Hike this before, and come home abou thee In the morning. Vou dont want hr ogo bt yu fel you mt Fie p Your agreement. Therefore you pnt our tei sy nothing, and Wish er bgeod Yoursfe ecto ving op to your sercement nd ot apps 0 be sels and suspicious hestand Your oar atone kn ht woo 2. Yau cazarophe fs that i So asker. aa she goes anyway, then tony have you lot he esp, Bois prot she does Teall) lowe You" "you ae hspeckedhinban mu Your udhenefpawerul action to tell br your fears abot er Boing out to ave an afr, and that ou don att her to Isao se thi seca go The essence of power ‘Emin om the other person asta te your milingness to be open to Your own wants to express em and become who you really ee Scene 4 You and your sister are not getting along very well. You think she is stuck up and phony. Whenever you call her, she sounds rather eld snd 16 lista, and seems to want co end the conversation as soon as possible ‘She never invites you to hor house, and while she has accopted your invi- lotions, she and her husband have if as erly inthe evening a possible. Her husband isa stocKbreker, «business you know litle bout, She's an westnent researcher forthe same fim, and you know even Tess about ‘that, You've tei the past to get them 10 iscuss what they do, or ell you about investments in stock, but they seem to be recta! Yo tak about it and switch the subject quickly. Yow think you should he on friendly terms with your sister ad her husband, but ou can't seem (0 find a way to reac then, You're rlactant tole the (v0 of you simply ‘rift part So you think that, maybe, jointly planning «surprise birthday purty for your mether might be a good Way tb get You relationship with Your sivter sarod again. You worry abost the project, going over and ‘ver in your imagination the many ways your phone call 10 your sister might play out-—what you might say, what she might say. Overcoming {Your nervousness, you Finally make the call, only fo have your party ‘Suggestion tuned down, ‘Your safe action is having “properly close family. Your feared action is not bing on good terms with your sister. Your catastrophe is bei al lone inthe world with no fami after your parents ce ‘Your power action is accepting that you and your sister are different people and that inf, you do not—and probably will not—have a close Felationship. Your sister ean not protest you fom being alone; nly you ‘un do that by establishing relationships with people you enjoy and who enjoy you scenes ‘Yur pret are vstng from out of town. Your mothers very rigons ded has alvaye made an sue ofthe space of Gnd incur lives” You ive moved avay fom organized religion in recent yar, Du have not hd the courage f tel hes. You know that on Saturday igh she il tnaks some comment about geting up for church on Shads¥ moins, {Bk about which church yu auend att he inser: the paishione ie. When te ime comes, she starts her questioning. You eta her and tnake up a sory for her benefit about the church andthe minster. On Sunday oming, you go with her tothe service. Your safe atom is what you commonly do: ie your mother in order no to hurt her fesings. Your feared action is teling your mother the 7 truth knosving tha the truth will hur he felings. Your catattraphe is thar You are a ungraded. ‘Your power action might be to tell your meter that, while you respect hee views, your way of doing things is different. You respest her was hors, and you hope she can also respect your way the principle that in eying to discover your fenred ution, the best place to Iook isthe direct opposite of whatever You do as your safe ‘ction. The opposite of lying to mother about church i 10 tll hee the iru tha you do not go. The opposite of fighting with the kids is not fang wit he Kid and just Teng cen sy ap wn es al askop. INMORTANT DISHNGTION "You can’t be authentic without being powerful bat you can be power ful shout being cent ‘As you joumal about authenticity and power, adress why the above ‘Satemert re, Or, do eu think Iam fll shit? SCENE 6 It's Saturday, and your hushand has just settled into watch his second Football game on TV. You have beet particularly bothered by tho kids {his week, and want him fo take thes gut somewhere so you can have a Title peace and quiet. You've been through this scene with him before. Yous have ashe him fo take the chien out, an he has responded with Initation and a satement lke, “For Christ's sake, cat"t Teven watcha sme in peace?” Then, you'd either stare an argement of rie sillnky This ine, to avoid the argument, you ask tentatively if he could take the Kids somesthore. You get your expected "No,” and then you retire 10 brood ard plot some way’ to get even Your safe action isnot pressing the issue. Your feared action is free fully stating your own wants: I vant you to take the kids somewhere and tive me a litle peace thsi important o ane an Think i's more fant than the football game: please do it. Your catastrophe is being refused even after you have openly stated what You Want, which means Your husband does not care about you or your neds, 18 ‘Your authenticfpoweri ot extreme aetion would be 19 tell bm that you ace tied, that you would Tike break, and tat you want him to take the Kids nt” Hh, in fac, das become irate, then you would deal with his isitaton, You might sy tha, while you ean understand his resent ‘nei, you lca resent being ed othe kid all he time and mast insist on Some sharing of responsi Gonniiention Nov ACHIENTION Life is Gmople if you have the courage to live i I becomes complic ‘ated and confusing when you deny your wal self and wy to live inthe Fieton thatthe world hs erated for us all eis okay not Be okay. Powerfi is part of your way of being in the world: authentic is part of the way you deal with others, In other words, the potential foe power resides i you, while the porenal for autheniey resides in your rela tionships PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ‘What Ihave fad out for you inthis Black Book is abroad and general ‘way to understand yourself and others. And T have specified what the dancueris. Lats review, 1. The standard way of reacting isthe safe ie 2 nis safe because it Keeps you away from the feared ie: 53, Which you expect will lea to a selFdefined catastrophe 4 But playing safe is playing inside n self-created prison, Frocing ‘ourself from that prison i posible i you face your ears and assumed ‘Satastrophes and live the authentclpowerfa ia 1s good idea vo work on only one area of life ata ime. Take any one area of your life and atch yourself, Don't nske changes yet just journal your observations of yourself, Describe the scene and how you te sponded Did yon agree when you ely di not wan 0? id you not expres your Inger anoyance, bareom, cbse you were more concemed with turtng someone ele than dou were with your own rah? Do you find that you ae alvays ready scifice youre and yout own desires in deference to sornone cle? Do you ind yoursetjsiying a behavior tecaune thar’ he polite way odo or thas he way everyone des 19 it?" Do you find that if yeu di not follow the stipe you copie into your journal, You wou feet very uncomfortable? (Can you find a common theme in your responses? Not the same word, but the same gencral way of responding? The more study you do the water Now, Iam not saying that politeness, thoughtfulness and consideration are always wrong. Courtesy and politeness are the grease ofthe wheels ‘of socit). This a problem, however, when you use these ways of He ate more than am excuse stayin your safe position ‘When you have enough entries in your journal For the area of your fie that you are ooking a, den deliberately try some other response, There is an easy clue as to when you are violating your safe position: you will have body reaction of anxiety or uncasyness (see my book, Undone Yoursel) It the change you tried i just as easy Tor YoU asthe Old sale ‘vay, dhen you have simply moved frm one safe way’ to anothce, ‘When you do the feared action, ry to spot what you Fantasy or assump: tion is about what you expect the catasrphe ta be. No mater what i reality follows your doing the feared geton, concentrate on whether that imagined catastrophe is really as horible as you imagined. What isthe Uworst thing that could happen? Suppose what follows your doing the {feared action is exactly what you feared, Does that rely lead to the Fantasized or assume catastrophe? Ana if 30, that catastrophe rally a ‘uiasiphe ori it merely something You have been unwilling to face? 0 Brain Abuse Without a Hammer EXERCISES IN COGNITIVE DESTRUCTION By CHristopHen S. Hyatt, PH.D. Mosiusrrame, M.S. & “ALGORITHM” Remember, pice is worth thousand words, uta pct wil The human brain is survival and pleasore instrument, I an be inven- tiveand efetive, and provides lot of fn. [Al brains, regardless of species are primarily designed foe nesting, ‘igesting and congesting. However, duc 1 the human brain's pecli type of “random” Nail, it so enjoys entertaining itself, leaming aout the world i¢ inhabits and atlempling to improve itself—gaining tore power over unassisted nature. The eader will note that we have tne the word “unassisted” in connection with the word nature. We did this to implant in te eadee’s mind that we donot regard spa a6 wnat falmankind spat ant parcel of the entire scene on this oating planet Most of you will noe thar many people might agree with this, hot we will ase that few people actor liven accord with this position, Mast Thunans at as if they are separate from native and are not affected by is “rales.” Can you imagine a species so stupid thal ic prefers death to living—wel ook in the mirror... i You personally do not bel inthe death-worshipping category, let us assure you that most people ‘would rather be in heaven with their god, than live the adventure of ie ‘om earth, In fact, as we write this, many ofthe “leaders” of the so-called nations rule their environs by talking with god and seading his “mind a Li The men of the mind are on the verge of the greatest breakthroughs in ‘or history, yet he herds and its shepherds are fighting tooth and nal to ‘remain and—worss-—to return to ear times, Brain Abuse “Most brains, however, operate like most other brains in any given cul: ‘tre, and human brain have the peculiar ability to develop complex lan- _uges which both extend its power and inhibi its progres, ‘The brain has an ileestngflaw—words ean and do become the “same as objects, actions and processes. Most xan do not consciously under Stand the ise and effect of language, but are at times acntely awate ofthe power and effect of words, The lack of reflective undersanding can oth be profitable and exippling as the human brain can imprison itself in a maze of useless ideas and belts ‘Words often create strong emotional reactions which serve fo prove 10 the bai that there is otherworldly substance ois words ad belie sy tems. Por example, tell « person 10 deliberately imagine that they are having sex with thee other (One secret of Undoing Yoursefis ‘words and images, Try it—it will be Data from physics, biology and chemistry indicate that our brains are ‘able of perceiving ony tiny slice of whats occurting in our imme= ‘ate environment shall erosional eactions to “The bain i escentaly a highly organized mix of salts and lipids —but then, s0 sa stick of butter, Moreover, slight shift nthe chemical en onien ofthe brain may produce massive alterations in perception. The pines, you cannot trast your brain. The brain isa too, it serves func Fons, is relatively imied in perception, data storage and relabty Wisiewessarytodetersine fac hen your brn is sending signals sat function to bring you to your goals, and when you ae being a common, all too human, idiot, Now, ifthe Brain i unreliable, how do we kno ‘is? Polfated brains ae boring and dangerous, paicularly t fesly minted ‘ones. Now tll the sane person that their mother was screaming “harder land hater, more—more~fuck me mire" as they were being conceived Brain pollution, whether “on sereen or off sereen (¢anscions oF uncon seis) isthe norm, particularly shen coms to “thinking”-—which we prof to sll homing, Thinking is complex, and rogutes work—lots of work. Ke rogues under Standing, word wsage, history, analysis, Iogie, proof et. Thoughring, however is e385, simply requiring the repetition of popular clichés, sons Tron chided, consensus, and the opinions of authorities. Now el thom to imagine tha Their mother did 080 guys at once, one anally and ‘ne only and that during hee younger days she would screw a different uy every day. Polluted brains ar frightened, anxious, depressed and a are very dangerous when connected to misc tisse—! I fost animals, are designed to act, Now think about how word 23 tions, aed muscles interact. Here is another question: how des inhibi action afect emotion and eozntion? Could it be that many ofthe emo- tions we “oo!” ane anil a result of excessive inhibition? Below you will find some commen brain pollutants. Learn to recognize thom in yourself and others—s0 you can protect yourself and wos the 10 your advantage, Mental pollution, present in your own mind, guarantees dis-ease of life Mental polluion in minds around you, however, can be more damaging {o you~particulary, say, if you were a witch in the Middle Ages ‘Thoteore, selec the people closest to you on the Bass of levels of men tal pollution, not on labels lke "mother," “father, “ren,” “neighbor” However, to become something more than coat mon, you mast work diligently to cleanse your mind of polation, and to deal calmly and effectively with the polation in thers, Hint: the best vay (0 deal ith others 16 0 ignore What they are saying and Simply ‘watch what they ave doing, ‘Reading about brain pollution is nota substitute for the panstakng snd laborious task of wiping this sewage from your mind, Likely the poll tion served primitive survival purposes for you in previous years, and your true mister, the sbconscious mind, will not easily relinguish HS ators simply bocanse “you” will (whim i, Remember, a clean brain is a fun, produetive and creative brain—so let us begin the process of brainwashing. Notice here that we have used the word brainwashing in & new, more interesting way that the norm brsiashed monkey. First, we will 100k at some of the common brain pollutants. Polluted thoughting may harm the self, of others perceived as outside the sel Self-directed han is inal programming forthe mature hun. Ot