Tyler Folkedahl

Honors 391
Emily Hill
9/24/14
Chapter 9 Response
As per usual, there were a few things that got me a little bit hot and sassy in this chapter.
Primary amongst these things is a quote from our beloved friend Brian Little. On page 222, Brian
is quoted as saying One way of looking at this is to say that I was heavily engaged in extrovertlike behaviors, but, of course, had I been a real extrovert I would have done quicker, less
nuanced letters of recommendation, would not have invested the time in preparation of lectures,
and the social events would not have drained me. Lets establish off the bat, the last of these
assertions is negligible. The first two definitely rubbed me the wrong way, though.
The first time I read this, I was quick to jump to conclusions, but I caught myself. I took a
minute, finished up the chapter, lit a candle, and spent some time watching one of my favorite
comedians on YouTube. However, now coming back to the quote, I still find these statements to
be incredibly unfair. I tried to think critically and consider any unobserved deeper meanings that
might be lingering in these statements; maybe he meant that if he were extroverted, his heart
would lie in different pursuits; maybe he meant something else entirely. It seems at this point Im
just grasping at straws though, and the takeaway from what he said is that extroverts do shittier
work. I do not understand how he can so easily come to a vast and sweeping generalization of
extroverts to say that they have such a great failing at putting the entirety of their effort behind
what theyre doing. Thinking on it a bit more, I could see how it would be possible that he might
be referring to the fact that extroverts generally give less attention to detail, but it still seems to

be stretching a bit for me, and I cant fully put myself behind that statement. I really look
forward to hearing what the class has to say about this particular quote.
Another thing about this chapter that I found almost shocking is the description of her
friend Alex she gives on pages 210 and 211. I could hardly believe that she included this in the
book, let alone calling him a friend and citing this as a positive example. When I read this, Alex
literally came off as a sociopath. I studied social dynamics, I guarantee more than anyone
youve ever met So by now Im built for war. Because then people dont screw you (211). I
can totally understand and sympathize with the idea of toughening yourself up to avoid stigma
and abuse from your peers. But it seems to me that Alex is taking this to a whole different level.
He picked up this habit, according to Cain, in the seventh grade. This kid was spending all of his
time in social interactions studying peoples behavior and the way that they presented
themselves, fundamentally so that he could manipulate them. Not only that, he condones the use
of physical violence, saying Oh, and every once in a while, you have to punch people (211). I
get it, kids are mean and you want to find a way to stick up for yourself. But get real, Cain! I
understand that she wasnt whole heartedly supporting this kid outright, but the way it is
presented does gleam with a bit of positivity, and it just struck an incredibly sour chord with me.
Its still nearly hard for me to believe.
Now that Ive spent a good amount of time, as I usually do, ranting about the things that
pissed me off, Im gonna turn over to the things I did like about this chapter. Or more like thing,
I suppose. That thing was the idea of a blend of fixed personality and free personality traits.
Specifically, the idea that she brings up on page 209 that According to Free Trait Theory, we
are born and culturally endowed with certain personality traits but we can do and act out of
character in the service of core personal projects.

I see a lot of myself in this philosophy. The deeper we get into this book, the more I
realize that I lie somewhere comfortably in the middle of this spectrum. This emerged again
when I took the quiz of how much of a self-monitor I am, returning 7 of 8 yesses for being a high
self-monitor and 3 of 5 yesses for low self-monitoring. Its hard to compare, given the small size
of questions and the relatively high margin for error, but I feel like its an even enough split.
Some of the answers were also influenced by my training as an actor.
Many people regard me to be primarily extroverted. As you know from Marge, when Im
on an STLF trip, Im constantly in overdrive, ready to bounce from service project to bonding
activity. Similarly, when Im working on theatre projects, I find myself consistently energized
and ready to do work. However, almost every day when I get home from school I feel the need to
just lay down and relax for a bit to unwind from being out and about all day. I do very poorly in
social situations where things are outside of my control, and oftentimes find myself falling short
in conversation with people Im not too familiar with where it doesnt feel comfortable to dive
into a deeper conversation. All of these things point to me being more introverted, with a
stronger sense of self-monitoring. The only issue I have with this theory is that I never feel like I
have to try and be extroverted when Im energized and ready to go. Maybe it has to do with the
fact that I am more ambiverted, or maybe Ive become so used to it that I dont even notice it
anymore. Either way, that would have to be something to be explored at a later date, because Im
already pushing three pages, so Im gonna wrap it up here.