Sydnie’s Pages

by
Donna Arriaga

Sydnie’s Pages is inspired by PKD’s Do Androids

Dream of Electric Sheep? A crash refresher on
PKD’s concocted philosophy of Mercerism and
references to his “Sydnie’s Fowl & Animal
Catalogue” will provide all the context you’ll need
for this doc.

And, while Blade Runner is truly phenomenal,

unfortunately, it offers no direct reference to
Mercerism and certainly no mention of Sydnie’s
Catalogue.

…even so, perhaps even the die-hard Blade

Runner fan can still enjoy the Do Androids Dream
inspired doc.
 481 SE 3rd Ave
San Francisco, CA 30481

January 3, 2041

Mr. Francis Poindexter

NW CoApt #382-888
San Francisco, CA 30382

Dear Mr. Poindexter:

We are pleased to acquiesce to your request for information regarding electric sheep,
cows, and chickens. However, due to the discreet nature of our business, we advise that
in the future you exercise greater caution in guarding your copy of the Sydnie’s Fowl &
Animal Catalogue. Wheelright & Carpenter prefer not to have this unfortunate situation
repeated.

Enclosed you will find excerpts from Sydnie’s January Supplement. I am sure you will
find these excerpts sufficiently helpful in determining which skillfully crafted animal
best meets your desires.

If you have any additional questions, please contact us via vidphone.

Sincerely,

Cogswell Wheelright
Cogswell Wheelright
Wheelright & Carpenter

Enclosures: four pages

SHEEP
SHEEP Sydnies’s
Sydnies’s Fowl
Fowl &
& Animal
Animal Catalogue
Catalogue || January
January 2041
2041 79
79

IDENT# 753082
This robust Longhorn Sheep will make a marked impression
upon any curious onlooker. Our finest engineers can tailor
the Longhorn’s beastly mannerisms to fit your family’s
desires: a wild sheep that powerfully displays it’s grace and
ability by thrusting it’s hind legs into a mighty buck (safety
protocols prevent injury to humans and other animals) to a
gentle, docile creature that has tamed it’s wild tendencies
and prefers to proudly gait about it’s quarters.
$ 74,560.00
Available Features:
Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac
Disease Circuits

IDENT# 753095
Don’t be fooled. You too can perpetuate the grand
celebration of Mercerism. Be a proud owner of this long-
haired Black Sheep and remind citizens that wool belongs on
animals. Each fiber is magnificently hand-crafted by our
finest cosmanimaloigists. The Black Sheep’s wool is
guaranteed to be indistinguishable from live-stock fibers.
(Insurance Repair-Option offered for protection against
black market wool-shearers.)
$69, 625.00
Available Features:
Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac
Mastication with Defecation
Disease Circuits

IDENT# 753056
Take comfort in knowing this dependable sheep will
unfailingly be a hopeful reminder of life’s possibilities.
Yes, even the most difficult of things can be accomplished
when one is patiently determined. This three-legged sheep is
a confident reminder to friends, family, and neighbors alike
that all animals—regardless of the slight imperfections
“nature” may bestow upon them—are valued in our society.
(Bird not included)
$ 72,525.00
Available Features:
Fourth Leg
Disease Circuits

** See
See Available
Available Features
Features Price Index for a comprehensive list of prices per feature.
Price Index
105 Sydnies’s Fowl & Animal Catalogue | January
COWS 2041 Fowl & Animal Catalogue | January 2041COWS
Sydnies’s 105

IDENT# 876048
Manufactured realism is encapsulated in this supremely
created cow. This animal is programmed to emulate several
emotions including happiness, sadness, and surprise. Yes,
one must witness the miraculous phenomenon in person!
The cow has thousands of subcutaneous motion emitters
localized in the facial region. Brow ridges crease and relax,
eyelids widen and contract—all orchestrated to create a
uniquely expressive cow. Features guaranteed to look
genuine.
$ 57,788.00
Available Features:
Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac
Disease Circuits

IDENT# 876099
The classic Milk Cow evokes the nostalgic memory of pre-
colonial pastures graced with nature’s rolling hills and lush
grasslands. This Milk Cow demands all the attention and
care that one would extend to an authentic. Curious
neighbors will look on as you relieve the pressure of your
cow’s bulging utter. Yes, this cow needs milking! The
routine maintenance package includes services for milk pick-
up. Our services are a genuine replica of the Mercerism
Ministry of Milk-to-Calves Delivery Service.
$89, 825.00
Available Features:
Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac
Mastication with Regurgitation
Disease Circuits

IDENT# 876035
The Long-Haired Cow is short in stature and perfect for the
household desiring something more than a domestic pet yet
smaller than the grandiose full-grown cow. This Long-
Haired Cow is one-third the size of the average adult cow. It
is a specimen of supreme quality and is capable of
supporting all available features—making it an exemplar of
superlatively crafted realism.

$68,000.00
Available Features:
Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac
Mastication with Regurgitation
Mastication with Regurgitation & Defecation
Disease Circuits

* See Available Features Price Index for a comprehensive list of prices per feature.
CHICKENS
CHICKENS Sydnies’s Fowl
Sydnies’s Fowl &
& Animal
Animal Catalogue
Catalogue |
| January
January 2041
2041 162
162

IDENT# 038042
Arise at the stroke of dawn with the charming sound of the
cock’s crow! We guarantee the Red Rooster will cock-a-
doodle-doo like clockwork. In fact, this rooster’s crow can
be pre-set to coincide with the psychotherapeutic hum of
your personal alarm mood organ.
$22,250.00
Available Features:
Disease Circuits

IDENT# 038055
This Husky Rooster loves pecking at birdseed and corn
kernels! To correctly care for the “dietary needs” of your
rooster, be sure to mix a minimal amount of small stones into
the feed sack. (Specific proportions are included in the Care
and Instruction Manual.) Yes, this rooster mimics an
authentic’s need to ingest stones; hence creating the illusion
that your rooster’s gizzard is utilizing tiny pebbles to crush
and grind its food.
$27,750.00
Available Features:
Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac
Disease Circuits

IDENT# 038077
Any chicken coop is incomplete with out a Layer Hen. This
hen requires regular feedings to storehouse enough energy to
lay a genuine-looking egg. Shell fragility, transparent
whites, and sunshine-yellow yolks are all reproduced by this
miraculous Layer Hen. (Consult the Care and Instruction
Manual for details on the chemical conversion process which
transforms natural feed into faux eggs. Regular maintenance
is necessary for chemical replenishment.) The routine
maintenance package includes provisions for picking up the
eggs. Our service is a genuine replica of the Mercer Chicken
Hatchery. (Chick not included)
$ 39,999.00
Available Features:
Disease Circuits

** See
See Available
Available Features
Features Price Index for a comprehensive list of prices per feature.
Price Index
 Available Features Price Index

Mastication with Removable Stomach Sac—now your electric animal can rise to a new
level of authenticity. Simply feed you animal as directed in the Care and
Instruction Manual. The animal will automatically cease to eat once the stomach
sac has reached capacity. Remove the sac, empty contents, and replace. The
Care and Instruction Manual includes extensive directions complete with
illustrations. *Capacity restrictions on some animals.
1/2 Quart Capacity $ 3,500.00
2 Quart Capacity $ 7,500.00
4 Quart Capacity $ 14,500.00

Mastication with Defecation—this option allows your animal to produce authentic

looking and smelling feces. The animal’s mechanical gastro-intestinal tract
utilizes synthetic chemical digestive agents to process ingested food materials into
replicated, extricated fecal matter. Regular maintenance is needed to replenish
chemical digestive agents. $ 32,999.00

Mastication with Regurgitation—a perfect option for the bovine fanatic. The animal eats
and chews its cud. The regurgitation process is meticulously timed to follow a
cow’s natural digestive cycle. This option is complete with a Removable
Stomach Sac. Choose one of two capacity options.
2 Quart Capacity $ 23,000.00
4 Quart Capacity $ 29,000.00

Mastication with Regurgitation and Defecation—choose this option for the most up-to-
date bovine models available. This feature allows your cow to adhere to the most
natural of bovine life processes: eating, chewing cud, and excreting waste. The
feature allows you to avoid the hassle of emptying a Removable Stomach Sac; the
animal’s mechanical gastro-intestinal tract utilizes synthetic chemical digestive
agents to process ingested food materials into replicated, extricated fecal matter.
Regular maintenance is needed to replenish chemical digestive agents.
$ 49,999.00

Disease Circuits—should your electric animal undergo the rare and unfortunate event of
short circuiting or malfunctioning, this option works as a safeguard to prevent
others from detecting your animal is a non-authentic. When a malfunction occurs,
a subroutine is accessed which activates the Replicated Trauma Effect. This
effect mimics an authentic’s symptoms of pain and physical trauma. Each
Replicated Trauma Effect is specially tailored to conform to the species’ natural
responses. Mimicked responses include agonized vocalizations, emission of faux
blood, foaming of the mouth, and several others. This option is strongly
recommended for all electric animal owners.
$ 69,999.00