Consider this statement:

Education makes everyone equal.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above
statement means. Describe a specific situation in which education does not make everyone equal.
Discuss what you think determines whether or not education makes everyone equal.
Sample Essay #1
Education is the knowledge attained from going to school. From the grades of
kindergarten to high school, everyone receives the same basic education. And therefore
education makes everyone equal.
However, having the same education does not necessarily mean that everyone is equal.
Two people applying for the same job with the same education are not looked at as
equal. There is only one position open and therefore one person has to be better
qualified. The person that has more experience in the specific job field has an
advantage over the other. Most likely, this individual will be chosen for the job.
Having the same education does not make people equal. Experiences in life bring
advantages to someone. Education is there for everyone to attain, but it does not make
everyone equal.
SCORE = 1
Explanation of score:
This essay is virtually undeveloped, and makes little effort to justify or explain any of its assertions.
Though there are two or three sentences meant to address each task, this essay is little more than a thin
outline. While the essays second paragraph is the most developed, it only serves to demonstrate the
writers very limited understanding of the prompt topic. With so little of substance here, it is
impossible to give this writer credit for anything more than a score of 1.
Sample Essay #2
The statement education makes everyone equal is an idealistic viewpoint that
education is the great equalizer. It is actually true to a large degree that education
can make people in a community (local or global) more equal. This was most certainly the
case in the U.S. for women who fought for suffrage during the late 1800s. Although,
the right to vote was not granted to them until 1929 there were some tangible gains in
their lives. Also, my African American in the United States have improved their lives
via education, even during the post civil war period.

Conversely, education does not make everyone equal. In many industrialized nations
education will not make a person equal. No matter how educated a person happens to
be. It is estimated by most that a woman can not become President of the United
States or even president of some major companies, even if she is well educated.
What determines whether or not education makes everyone equal is the level of
fairness that society places on itself. In a fair society education would equalize the
masses. People would be judged on their merit and other defining characteristics,
rather than on superficial qualities.
SCORE = 3
Explanation of score:
Though brief, this essay nonetheless manages to demonstrate enough understanding and attention to
the rhetorical assignment to warrant a score of 3. The opening paragraph effectively uses the example
of the suffrage movement to illustrate the importance of access to education in bringing about greater
equality in American society. The mention of educations role in improving the plight of African
Americans since the Civil War, on the other hand, is too brief and under-developed to be equally
effective.
The second paragraph contradicts the first paragraphs claim, asserting that industrialized nations
seem to favor other factors (by implication, gender and race) when electing heads of state or
appointing CEOs of major companies. While such a claim can be made legitimately, the evidence
offered by this writer is too slim to be convincing. A detailed example would have helped.
The essays final paragraph proposes that a societys concept of fairness ultimately determines
whether or not education makes everyone equal. This idea is promising, but again lacks development.
The essay implies more than it actually says; the writer would have done better by fleshing out these
potentially cogent points with more detailed discussion. Language use and mechanics are mostly
competent, but clumsy in places, with sentence fragments and breaks in syntax.
Sample Essay #3
The sentiment conveyed in this statement is that education is fundamental in creating
an environment of equal opportunity for members of a society. Necessarily, the term
equal cannot be read literally to mean that everyone becomes equivalent and
indistinguishable in every way, but is used as our Founding Fathers used it in saying all
men are created equal they envisioned a land where everyone was guaranteed liberty
and equal protections under the law. The pursuit of happiness, however it be defined
for an individual, is another guarantee, and we should all be equally equipped for it.
However, counter examples to this idea are plenty. Although a quality education may be
necessary (by providing fundamental skills and knowledge required to be competitive in

the world), it is not sufficient for the existence of equal opportunity. First, there are
certain shortcomings that we possess as individuals that no amount of education will
allow us to surmount. Very obvious among them are physical disabilities; if my dream of
playing baseball is put out of my reach, since I suffer from quadriplegia, I cannot attain
it by re-enrolling in school. Also there is much variability with respect to less concrete,
but equally intrinsic, aptitudes. Music abilities and other aptitudes are lolled out to us
in various quantities from birth and our early environment, and there exist grossly
predetermined limits on how adept at something we can become. I compare my tone
deafness and abilities, or lack thereof, in playing musical instruments, to the geniuses
of Mozart or Coltrane, and this truth is evident. It is known that they practiced for
huge quantities of time, but their potential for achievement was not set by educationit was merely realized by it.
Finally, there exist exogenous obstacles to achievement. An education is only as good
as ones ability to put it to use. What good is an education if no one will hire you,
despite it, because of your race? And when youve found a job and earned some money,
whats it worth if you cant live in the house you want because the neighborhood is
exclusive. Clearly there are various ways that equal opportunity can be suppressed.
The notion that education is all it takes, then, is incorrect. Although education is an
important component in providing equal opportunity, the statement fails to take into
account the myriad factors involved in the equation. Only when all these other
variables (initial aptitudes, social concerns, etc.) are controlled for does the statement
become reasonable; otherwise its just another aphorism.
SCORE = 6
Explanation of score:
This response examines the prompt question from multiple angles, uncovering its complexity by
clearly parsing the extent to which education can ensure equality within an American context, and
examining some of the natural and social barriers that contribute to inequality. The essays argument
gathers force as the discussion proceeds; and when the writer rejects the prompt statement in the final
paragraph with a careful balancing of the Task 1 and Task 2 perspectives, we are persuaded that the
case has been made. The effect is that of a unified and focused response to the central question raised
by the prompt.
The felicitous use of language allows this writer to communicate with nuance and agility throughout,
as ideas are developed seamlessly and with a focused, clear goal in mind. A confident, efficient style
and effective diction help to make the essay an engaging read. While some writers will provide more
detail and perhaps even sustain a more complex discussion of ideas throughout their essays, this writer
has given enough evidence of mastery of each of the components of the scoring rubric for us to reward

this consistent and persuasive essay with a score of 6.

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