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    Test Signals
    Test Signals
    Test Signals
    Ebook70 pages1 hour

    Test Signals

    By David Bartell

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    About this ebook

    A deformed researcher is drawn into a DNA piracy scheme. Should he donate his genes to benefit mankind, or battle a corporate monster for ownership of them?

    “Test Signals” was the lead novella in Analog Science Fiction Science Fact, May 2008, the grandaddy of professional SF magazines.

    Trade Reviews:

    “Very good.” - SFRevu

    “My favorite story in the issue... a mystery involving bioengineering and posthuman mutants.... A great story overall.” - SF Gospel

    “The subject matter, the ethics of genetic exploitation, is a serious one and potentially quite interesting.” - IRoSF

    “Bartell is a good writer, and the complexity of the idea is helped by the expert way in which he organizes his subject matter. He also shows a real talent for characters and, toward the end of the story, a better than average grasp of human nature.” - The Fix

    “Interesting... I thought the setup for this story about the ownership of genetic characteristics (even arguable flaws, like the protagonist’s extra arms) very intriguing. ” - Richard R. Horton

    “Engaging and disturbingly thought-provoking” - Analog

    Reader reaction:

    “I really enjoyed it... The story fully engaged me and left me wanting more. So congratulations on a job really well done!”

    "Test Signals" was reprinted as ПРОВЕРОЧНЫЙ СИГНАЛ in the Russian SF magazine ELSI, which means "If". Russian readers had this to say:

    “Very good... I liked the finale very much - it resonated with my soul... I respect people capable of a constructive approach to a problem.” (translated)

    “It is a wonderful mix of computer and genetic affairs.” (translated)

    “Very good and solid story.” (translated)

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDavid Bartell
    Release dateJan 13, 2012
    ISBN9781466184954
    Test Signals
    Author

    David Bartell

    David Bartell is an award-winning science fiction author, futurist, and member of SFWA. He has sold numerous stories to professional magazines and anthologies. In 2011, he appeared in the Discovery Channel "Curiosity" episode, "Alien Invasion: Are We Ready?" with Michelle Rodriguez, Michio Kaku and others. The UK title was "When Aliens Attack". In 2012 he appeared in National Geographic's "Evacuate Earth", and its 2013-2014 spin-off "How to Survive the End of the World", for which he also consulted.His latest story takes place in Larry Niven's Known Space universe, in the anthology MAN-KZIN WARS XIII. If you are a fan of Niven, kzinti, or stasis boxes, check out "Zeno's Roulette".David has a degree in astrophysics, a masters certificate in project management, and is a manager in the high tech industry near Washington, D.C. He is a world traveler, scuba divemaster and father.

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      Book preview

      Test Signals - David Bartell

      Test Signals

      by

      David Bartell

      Copyright 2012 by David Bartell. All rights reserved.

      Test Signals originally appeared in Analog Science Fiction Science Fact, May 2008 as the lead novella. A Russian translation appeared as ПРОВЕРОЧНЫЙ СИГНАЛ in ELSI, October 2008.

      Additional information available at:

      http://www.davidbartell.us/?s=test+signals

      TEST SIGNALS

      by David Bartell

      I clicked the Promote Target icon on my desk, and claimed another minor victory. Just one more to go, I said out loud, and it’s vacation time!

      What is it? came the voice of Kaitlin from over the short cubical wall.

      Some kind of squirrel monkey, I said, noting the genetic ancestry.

      I thought that was already a real animal.

      This hybrid is different. Kinda cute. Wanna see?

      Nah. Too busy.

      Me too. My job was to discover something by accident, and I had a quota to meet.

      A lot of scientific discoveries are made by accident, say, penicillin, or matches. The polite term is serendipity, but when you’re in the business, you understand that it’s half desperation and half luck. Sometimes you learn more from the botched experiments.

      Our training video had an old black and white skit where Don Knotts was dressed up like a nutty professor. He kept stumbling around, knocking over test tubes racks and spilling chemicals all over the place. An interviewer asked what he was doing.

      I’m trying to discover something by accident! he squeaked.

      Class D Serendipity, a superimposed title noted, until the klutz tripped over that too.

      We refined discovering things by accident to an art. Genie, our supercomputer, generated billions of genetic combinations, including the human genome, other organisms, and primordial mixtures of everything. The output was fed to a subsystem, the simulator, that would grow an organism to spec, and try to determine whether it was likely to have congenital problems that were incompatible with life.

      The simulator was licensed to kill. The more they improved it, the more potential life forms it eradicated. The beauty of it was, when a test subject failed, no one cared or even noticed. It was just data. Of course, Genie lacked the ability to make final judgments, which is why they had openings for real people. They loved med-school drop outs – kinda smart, kinda cheap - which is how they found me. Because of my hands, my parents thought I would make a good surgeon, but during my first visit to an ER, I discovered by (car) accident that the sight of blood made me faint. I was a good fit here at Good Fortune Genetic Design.

      I only needed one more target, and I’d get two weeks off, so I went back to work, not caring how dubious the targets in my queue were. I’d promote the first decent one, and get my butt out of there. I’d already discovered four virtual species of potential interest. No cures for diseases like my pollutant-associated mutation syndrome (PAMS), no missing link, or Bigfoot. But my teddy panda had promising marketing potential, my frog-hog’s skin had useful properties for burn victims, and I have no idea what they might do with this squirrel monkey thing.

      My call light came on, and the bell trilled my favorite guitar riff from Love Slave. I jumped a bit, thinking that someone had already returned my promoted target, rejecting it. Then I saw the ID. It was a lady who used to work on our floor.

      Tina Peshj? I said out loud. She never spoke to anyone while she was here, much less me. Why a call now?

      That cow is calling you? That was Kaitlin, in the next cube.

      I laughed at that. The other women said that Tina had an udder on the back of her neck. I think it was really just a clump of huge skin tags, but it did look rather like an udder. That’s not why people called her names though. She was a bitch, and rumor had it that she had slept her way to a comfy position up in Special Projects. Who would actually sleep with that cow was beyond me – and I was pretty desperate myself.

      Yeah, it’s Tina. Want to come check it out? Any excuse to get Kaitlin to pay attention to me.

      I’ll pass, she said. I was tired of hearing that. Aren’t you going to answer her?

      Not for a five dollar nickel.

      I freely admit to being an asshole. I’m very loyal when it comes to friends, though I haven’t many of those.

      Tina’s message asked me to come up to her office to see an unusual target she’d come across. I told Kaitlin that Tina just needed some help because she didn’t understand how Genie worked, and I headed for the elevator. In fact, I was intrigued, partly because it was Tina, and partly because I’d never been to Special Projects before.

      Tina had actually asked me out once, when I first joined the company. I refused. I was queasy that way. It bothered me when she turned her head too quickly, because her blond hair would flip aside, and I’d see the thing on the back of her neck. She wasn’t all that hideous when her hair stayed in place, though. I might have actually gone out with her, but by then, I’d heard of her

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