Communication Research

Why Communication is Important: (pg 5)

1. Secure an Interview
2. To get the job
3. To do your job well
4. To advance in your career

What makes a great communicator great? (pg 9)

A good communicator knows:
-his/her subject matter
-his/her strengths and weaknesses
-the appropriate words to use
-the most effective questions to ask

A good communicator has:

-a clear voice
-solid self esteem
-energy, passion, and enthusiasm
-good body language
-good listening skills

-clear summarizing skills

A good communicator knows how to

-use words that listeners can relate to
-keep an open mind
-adapt his/her approach when necessary
-make the listener feel comfortable and valued
-empathise with the listener
-give a considered response
-make connections and build rapport

5 Stages of Communication Cycle (pg 12-13)

1. The Sender
Originator of the message. The way the message is
communicated can be affected by
- attitude toward the person you are communicating with,
and the situation.
- culture, emotions, job status, education, language skills
Possible problems:
- You don't think before you read or write
- You don't have a clear idea of what you want to say
- You don't understand the issue

2. The message
The idea you wish to communicate. Factors to consider
when you compile your message:
- what must it include?
- how will it be interpreted?
- how will it affect your relationship?
Possible problems:
- You choose language that the reader will not
understand.
- Your tone is inappropriate
- Your point is unclear
- Your message is not well structured.

3. The Medium
The method you choose for your message (face-to-face,
phone call, email, text message, letter)
Possible problems:
- You choose the wrong method
- Transmission is interrupted or distorted
- You send the message at wrong time or to the wrong
place.

4. The recipient

Will be affected by the same factors as the sender

- attitudes, surroundings, culture, emotions.
- Message may be distorted if the sender has not taken
care to craft the message appropriately, resulting in being
misrepresented.
- Culture and time difference may risk misunderstanding.
Possible problems:
-Recipient's vocabulary or frame of reference doesn't
correspond to the one you used in your message
-Recipients focuses on HOW you say something than on
the message itself.
-If the message is too long, the recipient may be too busy
to focus on it, and may miss the point.

5. Feedback
Without feedback, you'll not know if the communication
process has been successful. There could be an
immediate response in oral communication: nod or smile.
Possible problems:
- No feedback is received
- Feedback received too late
- Adequate time is not allowed for feedback
- Feedback is distorted by emotion or circumstances.

Be Likeable (Pg 19)

"You can make more friends in 2 months by being

interested in people, than in 2 years by trying to get
people interested in you" ~Dale Carnegie.

3 Cs to develop likeability (pg 27)

Credibility:
The extent to which others believe what you tell them.
Your success at work often depend on convincing people
of your point of view. You need credibility for this, and the
route to credibility is not only paved with knowledge and
experience, but also with relationships.
To make successful connections you can count on, you
need to gain respect, create trust, and build rapport.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Do I make an effort to keep my knowledge up to date?
- Do I turn up for meetings and share my knowledge?
- Do I get to know the people I work with?
- Do I keep others informed?
- Am I honest?

Consistency:
Goes hand in hand with credibility. People tend to trust
others who act in a consistent manner, and will avoid
joining forces with those who don't follow their intentions
with actions.
An element of consistency is fairness. People who treat

some colleague in a very different way from others - are

difficult to respect. Only consistent people can expect
consistent results from the people they communicate with.

Confidence:
Confident people know that they have something to offer
in communication, and, just as importantly, they are open
to what others have to offer as well.
Differentiate between arrogance and confidence.
Arrogance is often fear wearing a mask. Arrogant people,
in their unwillingness to admit that others also have good
ideas and achieve success, betray their concern for their
own position.
True confidence acknowledges people's talents and skills,
which is why confident people makes wonderful team
players, and arrogant people do not.
How to boost confidence?
Be mindful of the thoughts in your mind. Are they positive
or negative? Negative thoughts will restrict you to think
realistically, and creatively. You will express yourself
negatively, body language will be negative, and other
people will react to you negatively and possibly dismiss
your comments and opinions.
Always remind yourself of the good qualities you have.
Retrain your brain to concentrate on the positive.

Listening
Obstacles to effective listening

1. Point scoring
You relate what you hear to your own experience in a
game of oneupmanship, saying perhaps "Oh! That
happened to me last week, only worse. Listen to this"
2. Pseudo-listening
Pretend to listen, while really listening to another
conversation in another room, or thinking about
something else.
3. Mind-reading
You decide that you know what the other person is really
thinking, perhaps saying to yourself," I bet that's not the
real reason she did. "
4. Preparing your next comment
You are thinking about what you are going to say next,
preparing a response, so you miss what the speaker is
saying.

Bad listener vs Good listener

easily distracted vs fights distractions
daydreams vs makes an effort to focus
fakes attention vs use body language to show attention
tunes out dry subjects vs considers the facts and data and
ask "What's in it for me.
tunes out if delivery is poor vs judge content over delivery
tends to challenge the speaker vs interrupts only to
clarify, gives speaker a chance

asks no question vs finds something in the content to

engage with.

Tips for effective listening. (59)

1. Avoid prejudgement. Don't jump to conclusions
because of the speakers' experience, occupation and
culture.
2. Appreciate the speaker's point of view and accept that
it may not necessarily agree with yours.
3. Establish proper eye contact and give your full attention
to the person speaking. This will help you build rapport
and understanding.
4. Show that you are listening with your posture and the
way you use your head, shoulders and limbs.
5. Don't interrupt. Let the speaker finish a point before
you begin to talk unless you need to clarify a point.
6. Look out for main ideas. Listening out for key words
will help you fix in your mind what is being said.
7. Paraphrase what someone has said, either to clarify the
message or the feeling, to increase understanding and
show empathy .
8. Respond verbally and non-verbally., so that the speaker
knows you are engaged.

9. Reflect on what you have heard before responding.

Speaking to be understood.
There's a huge difference between speaking and making
yourself understood. Haven't you left a conversation
wondering 'What just happened?" or a meeting thinking,
"What was her point?" People are always speaking, but
this doesn't mean they are always getting the point
across.
You don't need to sound good, but you need to make our
message clear.
Speaking: Tips for planning a well-structured and effective
message.
1. Have a clear goal in mind before trying to communicate
your message to others.
2. Reflect on an appropriate structure for your message
before delivering it.
3. Plan effectively so that you reduce time wasted in
misunderstanding.
4. Choose the right moment for a conversation so that
you increase the likelihood that the communication will be
successful.
5. Use empathy, to build rapport and be more persuasive.
6. Listen first, then speak.

7. Be aware of the fact that generalizations (such as the

use of 'always, 'never') can come across as insulting.
8. Avoid weak words and phrases to make sure your
message is motivating.
9. Be sensitive to how different words will be received by
your listeners.
10. Don't undermine relationships and turn people off by
using the wrong words

How you say it? : (77)

Vocal clarity: Even if you have clarified your message to
yourself and have used empathy to develop your
approach, the way you say the words can muddy your
message. Both the way you pronounce the words and the
tone of voice you use will have an effect.
Increase vocal clarity in 4 steps: (79)
1. Slow down
2. Keep your language simple.
3. Check for understanding
4. Make use of written language
Facial Clarity
Our facial expressions play a big role I'm delivering our
meaning, and can also kill our meaning completely. (We
can't produce a happy sound, without putting on a happy
face).
Tips for right tone and Body language?

1. Enunciate as clearly as possible. Pronunciation differs

greatly, not only between counties but also within them,
so clear articulation helps.
2. Don't weaken your message by using the right words
but the wrong tone. Your tone often determines whether
your listeners are open to you., or closed.
3. Make sure your face matches your words. People will
look into your eyes to see how genuine you are.
4. Be sincere in speaking.
5. Before of what you body is saying when you speak.
Posture is often determined by your emotional state.
6. Beware of body language bloopers, which will work
against you in passing on your message.
7. Wait a while before speaking if you're highly emotional
on an issue.
8. Evaluate your vocal clarity occasionally, and make
appropriate adjudgements.
9. Remember the key steps to increasing effectiveness:
slow down, use simple language and check for
understanding.
10. Follow up important conversations by sending an
email that restates the conclusion of drawn.

Assertiveness

Being Assertive means communicating what you really

want in a clear way, respecting your own rights and
feelings as well as the rights and feelings of others.
Assertiveness is an honest and appropriate expression of
one's feelings, opinion and needs.

4 types of Behavior type: (On Assertiveness)

Behaviour Type

Body Language

Traits

Passive

Minimal eye contact.

Quiet, uncertain voice.
Defensive posture.
Figets a lot.

Gives in easily. Beats

around the bush. Does
not express needs. Does
not express rights.
Doesnt achieve
potential.

Excessive eye contact.

Strong, loud voice.
Expansive posture.
Invades others space.

Quick to blame others.

Very critical. Likes to
interrupt. Appears
authoritarian. Uses
sarcasm to win a point.
Requests sound like
orders. Escalates
situations easily.

Avoids confrontation
Doesnt stand up for
his/her rights
Concerned about what
people think of him/her.
Aggressive
Wants to win, even at
expense of others.
No respect for others
rights or needs.

People get annoyed or

intimidated and avoid
contact.
Passive-aggressive

Minimal eye contact.

Impatient sighs. TightA mixture of passive and lipped. Looks wound
aggressive behavior.
up. Expression says I
Keen to get even while
dont believe it. Closed

Indirect responses.
Cutting humour and
slips or tongue.
Catty comments.

avoiding confrontation.

posture.

Doesnt gain trust.

Good eye contact, but

uncomfortable.
Moderate, even tone of
voice.

Listens a lot. Seeks to

understand.

Wants to assert
him/herself but feels a
lack of power to do so.
Assertive
Expresses needs
Defends rights
Respects self as well as
others needs and
rights.

Body language to suit to

words spoken.

Treats everyone with

respect.
Aims for solutions.
Direct without being
abrupt.
States clearly what
he/she wants.
Achieves results.
Gains respect and
affection.

People exhibit a mixture of different types of behaviours,

and these traits wont necessarily match you or the people
you know in all respects. There are also times when it
pays to take a passive stance, and others when it can be
best to take a more aggressive position.
However, there can only be one that is designed to
promote win-win situations as much as humanely as
possible: The Assertive Type.

How to be assertive?
1. Use I statements like I think I prefer. I
statements deliver a clean clear statement of your side of

things.
e.g. When you scold me in front of others, I feel very
embarrassed. Id prefer it if we could talk in your office in
future.

2. Offer suggestions rather than instructing, so that the

other person can make up their own mind.
e.g. Would it be practical to
What do you feel about doing it this way?

3. Ask questions to find the thoughts, opinions and wishes

of others.
e.g. I have some ideas for how to go about this process,
but I want to make sure I hear yours as well.

4. Open a discussion to find solutions, with questions such

as How can we resolve this? or Why dont we give
everyone a chance to offer an idea?

5. Speak confidently without filler words and hesitant

phrases like er you know well

6. Use a steady tone of voice, speaking clearly and not too

fast.

7. Keep a relaxed, upright posture

8. If you dont have an answer, just say so and offer to

find out. Dont bluff

3 Fs formula to deal with uncomfortable situations

Facts: Give an objective, factual description of what
happened, or what is happening.
Feelings: This is where you tell the other person how you
feel about what happened.
Future: Now explain what youd like to happen in the
future, your preferred outcome.
E.g.
When you dont offer your opinion in meetings and then
send me a long email about it the next day (Fact), I feel
frustrated because I really need to hear from your ideas
on the spot rather than a day later (Feelings). What Id
like in future is for you to push yourself to speak up
during the meeting, as I really appreciate your thoughts
on all our projects. (Future)

Tips to enhance your assertiveness

1. Learn to recognize passive, aggressive, passiveaggressive and assertive behavior in yourself and others.
2. Promote win-win situations by using assertive behavior.
3. Communicate what you want to say in a clear way,
respecting your own rights and feelings as well as the
rights and feelings of others - this is assertive behavior.

4. Use other types of behavior when it is appropriate to do

so.
5. Avoid sounding provocative or critical
6. Practice the 3Fs formula to deal with uncomfortable
situations. This will help you structure your message
assertively.
7. Deliver a clean, clear statement of your point of view by
using 'I' language.
8. Investigate your feelings so that your reactions are not
perceived as anger.
9. Be sure to express your most important feelings
appropriately, so that you don't become anxious or
depressed.
10. Encourage others to express their feelings as well, so
that you understand what's going on with your colleagues
and clients.

How To Deal With Conflict? (162)

With so many different people and personalities in our
workplace, its not surprising that a degree of conflict
occurs.
Effective communication skills can go a long way towards
resolving friction. Weak communication skills leave you in
a boat without a paddle.
Signs of conflict:
1. Assumptions

2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
How
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Generation Gaps
Misunderstanding Goals
Secretive Cliques Forming
Lack of Direction
Hidden Agendas
Gossiping
Personality clashes
NOT to deal with conflict (164)
Shouting
Sarcasm
Blaming
Defensiveness
Insults
Threats
Complaining

How to deal with conflicts Successfully (165)

1. Approach the source
To resolve conflict, nothing will be as effective as a faceto-face meeting. Email will definitely not work. It will
make matters worse.
2. Be constructive and retain control.
Control your emotions, and you will be able to influence a
positive outcome. If someone is raising voice and
provoking an argument, stay cool and be in control. The
disagreement will more than like dissipate.
3. Keep people and problems separate
Stay focused on issues instead of on the other person.
Youll be able to use appropriate tone and language. Will
avoid damaging relationships.

4. Be Honest
Put your message across in the most direct and assertive
way possible, while using a respectful tone and
appropriate language.
5. Listen first, talk second.
Your active listening skills will be put to test. By listening
carefully, you are most likely to understand why the
person is adopting his/her position.
6. Explore options and seek solutions
The whole emphasis in any conflict is to figure out a
solution. Be open to the idea that other positions may
exist, and that together you can discover the most helpful
one.
7. Assume the best
We know about the danger of making assumptions.
However in conflict situations, its good to assume the
other person means well, so that the emphasis will be
placed on actions and solutions.

5 Step Process to resolve conflict (173)

(Arrange a meeting with parties involved)
1. Set the scene
- Make sure both parties understand the conflict may be a
mutual problem, and its best to resolve it through
discussions than aggression.
2. Gather Information
Try to identify underlying interests, needs and concerns.
Ask for viewpoints, and listen carefully. Try to understand

the other persons motivation and goals and see how your
actions may be affecting these.
3. Agree on the problem
Agree on problems you are trying to solve. If you cant
reach a common perception of a problem, at least you
need to understand what the other person sees as a
problem.
4. Brainstorm possible solutions
Brainstorm possible solutions, and be open to ideas,
including ones you never considered before.
5. Negotiate and agree on a solution
By this stage, the conflict will hopefully be resolved. Each
other may better understand the position better, and a
mutually satisfactory solution may be clear to all. If theres
still uncovered real differences and deeper signs of
conflict, a third party may be brought in to help resolve
the situation.

Tips to deal with Conflict:

1. Deal with conflict as soon as you feel it. Dont let it
fester. Sit down and talk when the first signs appear.
2. Keep a lookout for warning signs of friction, and learn
to recognize them.
3. Dont use email to resolve friction it will rarely work.
4. Keep people and problems separate. Focus on issues
rather than individuals.

5. Adopt a positive approach to conflict resolution.

6. Be courteous and respectful while using appropriate
language in conflict resolution discussions.
7. Avoid shouting, swearing, sarcasm, insults and other
negative behavior. This will just make matters worse.
8. Script and practice difficult discussions before hand.
9. Use your active listening skills to achieve
understanding and diffuse friction.
10. Remember to assume the best in conflict situations, so
that the emphasis remains on actions and solutions.