Octopussy

IanFleming
1966

Octopussy
"Youknowwhat?"saidMajorDexterSmythetotheoctopus."You'regoingtohaveareal
treattodayifIcanmanageit."Hehadspokenaloud,andhisbreathhadsteamedupthe
glassofhisPirellimask.Heputhisfeetdowntothesandbesidethecoralboulderand
stoodup.Thewaterreachedtohisarmpits.Hetookoffthemaskandspatintoit,rubbed
thespitroundtheglass,rinseditclean,andpulledtherubberbandofthemaskbackover
hishead.Hebentdownagain.
Theeyeinthemottledbrownsackwasstillwatchinghimcarefullyfromtheholeinthe
coral,butnowthetipofasinglesmalltentaclewaveredhesitatinglyaninchortwooutof
theshadowsandquestedvaguelywithitspinksuckersuppermost.DexterSmythesmiled
withsatisfaction.Giventimeperhapsonemoremonthontopofthetwoduringwhich
hehadbeenchummingtheoctopusandhewouldhavetamedthedarling.Buthe
wasn'tgoingtohavethatmonth.Shouldhetakeachancetodayandreachdownandoffer
hishand,insteadoftheexpectedlumpofrawmeatontheendofhisspear,tothe
tentacle?Shakeitbythehand,sotospeak?No,Pussy,hethought.Ican'tquitetrustyou
yet.Almostcertainlyothertentacleswouldwhipoutoftheholeanduphisarm.Heonly
neededtobedraggeddownlessthantwofeetforthecorkvalveonhismaskto
automaticallyclose,andhewouldbesuffocatedinsideitor,ifhetoreitoff,drowned.He
mightgetinaquickluckyjabwithhisspear,butitwouldtakemorethanthattokillPussy.
No.Perhapslaterintheday.ItwouldberatherlikeplayingRussianroulette,andatabout
thesamefivetooneodds.Itmightbeaquick,awhimsical,wayoutofhistroubles!But
notnow.Itwouldleavetheinterestingquestionunsolved.Andhehadpromisedthatnice
ProfessorBengryattheInstitute...DexterSmytheswamleisurelyofftowardthereef,his
eyesquestingforoneshapeonly,thesquat,sinisterwedgeofascorpionfish,or,asBengry
wouldputit,Scorpaenaplumieri.
MajorDexterSmythe,O.B.E.,RoyalMarines(Retd.),wastheremainsofaoncebraveand
resourcefulofficerandofahandsomemanwhohadhadthesexualrunofhisteethallhis
life,particularlyamongtheWrensandWracsandATSwhomannedthecommunications
andsecretariatoftheveryspecialtaskforcetowhichhehadbeenattachedattheendof
hisservicecareer.Nowhewasfiftyfourandslightlybald,andhisbellysaggedinhis
Jantzentrunks.Andhehadhadtwocoronarythromboses,thesecond(the"second
warning"ashisdoctor,JimmyGreaves,whohadbeenoneoftheirhighpokergameat
Prince'sClubwhenDexterSmythehadfirstcometoJamaica,hadhalfjocularlyputit)only
amonthbefore.But,inhiswellchosenclothes,withhisvaricoseveinsoutofsight,and
withhisstomachflattenedbyadiscreetsupportbeltbehindanimmaculatecummerbund,
hewasstillafinefigureofamanatacocktailpartyordinnerontheNorthShore.Andit
wasamysterytohisfriendsandneighborswhy,indefianceofthetwoouncesofwhiskey
andthetencigarettesadaytowhichhisdoctorhadrationedhim,hepersistedinsmoking
likeachimneyandgoingtobeddrunk,ifamiablydrunk,everynight.
ThetruthofthematterwasthatDexterSmythehadarrivedatthefrontierofthedeath
wish.Theoriginsofthisstateofmindweremanyandnotallthatcomplex.Hewas
irretrievablytiedtoJamaica,andtropicalslothhadgraduallyriddledhimsothat,while
outwardlyheappearedapieceoffairlysolidhardwood,insidethevarnishedsurface,the
termitesofsloth,selfindulgence,guiltoveranancientsin,andgeneraldisgustwith
3

himselfhaderodedhisoncehardcoreintodust.SincethedeathofMarytwoyears
before,hehadlovednoone.(Hewasn'tevensurethathehadreallylovedher,buthe
knewthat,everyhouroftheday,hemissedherloveofhimandhergay,untidy,chiding,
andoftenirritatingpresence.)Andthoughheatetheircanapsanddranktheirmartinis,
hehadnothingbutcontemptfortheinternationalriffraffwithwhomheconsortedonthe
NorthShore.Hecouldperhapshavemadefriendswiththemoresolidelementsthe
gentlemanfarmersinland,theplantationownersonthecoast,theprofessionalmen,the
politiciansbutthatwouldmeanregainingsomeseriouspurposeinlifewhichhissloth,
hisspiritualaccidie,prevented,andcuttingdownonthebottle,whichhewasdefinitely
unwillingtodo.SoMajorSmythewasbored,boredtodeath,and,butforonefactorinhis
life,hewouldlongagohaveswallowedthebottleofbarbiturateshehadeasilyacquired
fromalocaldoctor.Thelifelinethatkepthimclingingtotheedgeofthecliffwasa
tenuousone.Heavydrinkersveertowardanexaggerationoftheirbasictemperaments,
theclassicfoursanguine,phlegmatic,choleric,andmelancholic.Thesanguinedrunk
goesgaytothepointofhysteriaandidiocy;thephlegmaticsinksintoamorassofsullen
gloom;thecholericisthefightingdrunkofthecartoonistswhospendsmuchofhislifein
prisonforsmashingpeopleandthings;andthemelancholicsuccumbstoselfpity,
mawkishness,andtears.MajorSmythewasamelancholicwhohadslidintoadrooling
fantasywovenaroundthebirdsandinsectsandfishthatinhabitedthefiveacresof
Wavelets(thenamehehadgivenhissmallvillawassymptomatic),itsbeach,andthecoral
reefbeyond.Thefishwerehisparticularfavorites.Hereferredtothemas"people,"and
sincereeffishsticktotheirterritoriesascloselyasdomostsmallbirds,heknewthemall,
aftertwoyears,intimately,"loved"them,andbelievedthattheylovedhiminreturn.
Theycertainlyknewhim,asthedenizensofzoosknowtheirkeepers,becausehewasa
dailyandaregularprovider,scrapingoffalgaeandstirringupthesandandrocksforthe
bottomfeeders,breakingupseaeggsandseaurchinsforthesmallcarnivores,and
bringingoutscrapsofoffalforthelargerones.Andnow,asheswamslowlyandheavilyup
anddownthereefandthroughthechannelsthatledouttodeepwater,his"people"
swarmedaroundhimfearlesslyandexpectantly,dartingatthetipofthethreepronged
speartheyknewonlyasaprodigalspoon,flirtingrightuptotheglassofthePirelli,and
even,inthecaseofthefearless,pugnaciousdemoiselles,nippingsoftlyathisfeetand
legs.
PartofMajorSmythe'smindtookinallthesebrilliantlycoloredlittle"people"andhe
greetedtheminunspokenwords.("Morning,BeauGregory"tothedarkbluedemoiselle
sprinkledwithbrightbluespotsthejewelfishthatexactlyresemblesthestarlit
fashioningofabottleofGuerlain'sDansLaNuit;"Sorry.Nottoday,sweetheart"toa
flutteringbutterflyfishwithfalseblackeyesonitstail;and"You'retoofatanyway,Blue
Boy,"toanindigoparrotfishthatmusthaveweighedagoodtenpounds.)Buttodayhe
hadajobtodoandhiseyesweresearchingforonlyoneofhis"people"hisonlyenemy
onthereef,theonlyonehekilledonsight,ascorpionfish.
Thescorpionfishinhabitsmostofthesouthernwatersoftheworld,andtherascassethat
isthefoundationofbouillabaissebelongstothefamily.TheWestIndianvarietyrunsupto
onlyabouttwelveincheslongandperhapsapoundofweight.Itisbyfartheugliestfishin
thesea,asifnatureweregivingwarning.Itisamottledbrownishgraywithaheavy
wedgeshapedshaggyhead.Ithasfleshypendulous"eyebrows"thatdroopoverangryred
eyesandacolorationandbrokensilhouettethatareperfectcamouflageonthereef.
4

Thoughasmallfish,itsheavilytoothedmouthissowidethatitcanswallowwholemostof
thesmallerreeffishes,butitssupremeweaponliesinitserectiledorsalfins,thefirstfew
ofwhich,actingoncontactlikehypodermicneedles,arefedbypoisonglandscontaining
enoughdotoxintokillamaniftheymerelygrazehiminavulnerablespotinanartery,
forinstance,orovertheheartorinthegroin.Itconstitutestheonlyrealdangertothe
reefswimmer,farmoredangerousthanthebarracudaortheshark,because,supremein
itsconfidenceinitscamouflageandarmory,itfleesbeforenothingexcepttheveryclose
approachofafootoractualcontact.Thenitflitsonlyafewyards,onwideandbizarrely
stripedpectorals,andsettlesagainwatchfullyeitheronthesand,whereitlookslikea
lumpofovergrowncoral,oramongtherocksandseaweedwhereitvirtuallydisappears.
AndMajorSmythewasdeterminedtofindoneandspearitandgiveittohisoctopusto
seeifitwouldtakeitorspurnittoseeifoneoftheocean'sgreatpredatorswould
recognizethedeadlinessofanother,knowofitspoison.Wouldtheoctopusconsumethe
bellyandleavethespines?Woulditeatthelot?Andifso,woulditsufferfromthepoison?
ThesewerethequestionsBengryattheInstitutewantedanswered,andtoday,sinceit
wasgoingtobethebeginningoftheendofMajorSmythe'slifeatWaveletsandthough
itmightmeantheendofhisdarlingOctopussyMajorSmythehaddecidedtofindout
theanswersandleaveonetinymemorialtohisnowfutilelifeinsomedustycornerofthe
Institute'smarinebiologicalfiles.
For,inonlythelastcoupleofhours,MajorDexterSmythe'salreadydismallifehad
changedverymuchfortheworse.Somuchfortheworsethathewouldbeluckyif,ina
fewweeks'timetimeforanexchangeofcablesviaGovernmentHouseandtheColonial
OfficetotheSecretServiceandthencetoScotlandYardandthePublicProsecutor,andfor
MajorSmythe'stransportationtoLondonwithapoliceescorthegotawaywitha
sentenceofimprisonmentforlife.
AndallthisbecauseofamancalledBond,CommanderJamesBond,whohadturnedupat
tenthirtythatmorninginataxifromKingston.
***
Thedayhadstartednormally.MajorSmythehadawakenedfromhisSeconalsleep,
swallowedacoupleofPanadols(hisheartconditionforbadehimaspirin),showered,
skimpedhisbreakfastundertheumbrellashapedseaalmonds,andspentanhourfeeding
theremainsofhisbreakfasttothebirds.Hethentookhisprescribeddosesof
anticoagulantandbloodpressurepillsandkilledtimewiththeDailyGleaneruntilitwas
timeforhiselevenses,which,forsomemonthsnow,hehadadvancedtotenthirty.He
hadjustpouredhimselfthefirstoftwostiffbrandyandgingerales(TheDrunkard'sDrink)
whenheheardthecarcomingupthedrive.
Luna,hiscoloredhousekeeper,cameoutintothegardenandannounced"Gemmuntosee
you,Major."
"What'shisname?"
"Hundoansay,Major.HimsaytotellyouhimcomefromGovmentHouse."

MajorSmythewaswearingnothingbutapairofoldkhakishortsandsandals.Hesaid,"All
right,Luna.PuthiminthelivingroomandsayIwon'tbeamoment."Andhewentround
thebackwayintohisbedroomandputonawhitebushshirtandtrousersandbrushedhis
hair.GovernmentHouse!Nowwhatthehell?
Assoonashehadwalkedthroughintothelivingroomandseenthetallmaninthedark
bluetropicalsuitstandingatthepicturewindowlookingouttosea,MajorSmythehad
somehowsensedbadnews.And,whenthemanhadturnedslowlytowardhimandlooked
athimwithwatchful,seriousgrayblueeyes,hehadknownthatthiswasofficialdom,and
whenhischeerysmilewasnotreturned,inimicalofficialdom.And.achillhadrundown
MajorSmythe'sspine."They"hadsomehowfoundout."Well,well.I'mSmythe.Igather
you'refromGovernmentHouse.How'sSir.Kenneth?"
Therewassomehownoquestionofshakinghands.Themansaid,"Ihaven'tmethim.I
onlyarrivedacoupleofdaysago.I'vebeenoutroundtheislandmostofthetime.My
name'sBond,JamesBond.I'mfromtheMinistryofDefense."
MajorSmytherememberedthehoaryeuphemismfortheSecretService.Hesaid
bonhomously,"Oh.Theoldfirm?"
Thequestionhadbeenignored."Istheresomewherewecantalk?"
"Rather.Anywhereyoulike.Hereorinthegarden?Whataboutadrink?"MajorSmythe
clinkedtheiceintheglasshestillheldinhishand."Rumandginger'sthelocalpoison.I
preferthegingerbyitself."Theliecameoutwiththeautomaticsmoothnessofthe
alcoholic.
"Nothanks.Andherewouldbefine."Themanleanednegligentlyagainstthewide
mahoganywindowsill.
MajorSmythesatdownandthrewajauntylegoverthelowarmofoneofthe
comfortableplanters'chairshehadhadcopiedfromanoriginalbythelocalcabinetmaker.
Hepulledoutthedrinkcoasterfromtheotherarm,tookadeeppullathisglass,andslid
it,withaconsciouslysteadyhand,downintotheholeinthewood."Well,"hesaid
cheerily,lookingtheothermanstraightintheeyes,"whatcanIdoforyou?Somebody
beenuptosomedirtyworkontheNorthShoreandyouneedasparehand?Begladtoget
intoharnessagain.It'sbeenalongtimesincethosedays,butIcanstillremembersomeof
theoldroutines."
"DoyoumindifIsmoke?"Themanhadalreadygothiscigarettecaseinhishand.Itwasa
flatgunmetalonethatwouldholdaroundtwentyfive.Somehowthissmallsignofa
sharedweaknesscomfortedMajorSmythe.
"Ofcourse,mydearfellow."Hemadeamovetogetup,hislighterready.
"It'sallright,thanks."JamesBondhadalreadylithiscigarette."No,it'snothinglocal.I
wantto...I'vebeensentoutto...askyoutorecallyourworkfortheServiceattheendof
6

thewar."JamesBondpausedandlookeddownatMajorSmythecarefully."Particularly
thetimewhenyouwereworkingwiththeMiscellaneousObjectivesBureau."
MajorSmythelaughedsharply.Hehadknownit.Hehadknownitforabsolutelysure.But
whenitcameoutofthisman'smouth,thelaughhadbeenforcedoutofMajorSmythe
likethescreamofahitman.
"OhLord,yes.GoodoldMOB.Thatwasalarkallright."Helaughedagain.Hefeltthe
anginalpain,broughtonbythepressureofwhatheknewwascoming,buildupacrosshis
chest.Hedippedhishandintohistrouserpocket,tiltedthelittlebottleintothepalmof
hishand,andslippedthewhiteTNTpillunderhistongue.Hewasamusedtoseethe
tensioncoilupintheotherman,thewaytheeyesnarrowedwatchfully.It'sallright,my
dearfellow.Thisisn'tadeathpill.Hesaid,"Youtroubledwithacidosis?No?Itslaysme
whenIgoonabender.Lastnight.PartyatJamaicaInn.Onereallyoughttostopthinking
one'salwaystwentyfive.Anyway,let'sgetbacktoMOBForce.Notmanyofusleft,I
suppose."Hefeltthepainacrosshischestwithdrawintoitslair."Somethingtodowith
theOfficialHistory?"
JamesBondlookeddownatthetipofhiscigarette."Notexactly."
"IexpectyouknowIwrotemostofthechapterontheForcefortheWarBook.It'sfifteen
yearssincethen.DoubtifI'dhavemuchtoaddtoday."
"NothingmoreaboutthatoperationintheTirolplacecalledOberaurach,aboutamile
eastofKitzbhel?"
Oneofthenameshehadbeenlivingwithforfifteenyearsforcedanotherharshlaughout
ofMajorSmythe."Thatwasapieceofcake!You'veneverseensuchashambles.Allthose
Gestapotoughswiththeirdoxies.Allof'emhogdrunk.They'dkepttheirfilesallticketty
boo.Handedthemoverwithoutamurmur.Hopedthat'dearn'emeasytreatmentI
suppose.WegavethestuffafirstgoingoverandshippedallthebodsofftotheMunich
camp.LastIheardofthem.MostofthemhangedforwarcrimesIexpect.Wehandedthe
bumfovertoHQatSalzburg.ThenwewentonuptheMittersillvalleyafteranother
hideout."MajorSmythetookagoodpullathisdrinkandlitacigarette.Helookedup.
"That'sthelongandtheshortofit."
"YouwereNumberTwoatthetime,Ithink.TheCOwasanAmerican,aColonelKingfrom
Patton'sarmy."
"That'sright.Nicefellow.Woreamustache,whichisn'tlikeanAmerican.Knewhisway
amongthelocalwines.Quiteacivilizedchap."
"Inhisreportabouttheoperationhewrotethathehandedyouallthedocumentsfora
preliminaryrunthroughasyouweretheGermanexpertwiththeunit.Thenyougave
themallbacktohimwithyourcomments?"JamesBondpaused."Everysingleoneof
them?"

MajorSmytheignoredtheinnuendo."That'sright.Mostlylistsofnames.
Counterintelligencedope.TheCIpeopleinSalzburgwereverypleasedwiththestuff.Gave
themplentyofnewleads.Iexpecttheoriginalsarelyingaboutsomewhere.They'llhave
beenusedfortheNurembergTrials.Yes,byJove!"MajorSmythewasreminiscent,pally
"thoseweresomeofthejolliestmonthsofmylife,haringaroundthecountrywith
MOBForce.Wine,women,andsong!Andyoucansaythatagain!"
Here,MajorSmythewassayingthewholetruth.Hehadhadadangerousand
uncomfortablewaruntil1945.Whenthecommandoswereformedin1941,hehad
volunteeredandbeensecondedfromtheRoyalMarinestoCombinedOperations
HeadquartersunderMountbatten.TherehisexcellentGerman(hismotherhadcome
fromHeidelberg)hadearnedhimtheunenviablejobofbeingadvancedinterrogatoron
commandooperationsacrosstheChannel.Hehadbeenluckytogetawayfromtwoyears
ofthisworkunscathedandwiththeO.B.E.(Military),whichwassparinglyawardedinthe
lastwar.Andthen,inpreparationforthedefeatofGermany,theMiscellaneous
ObjectivesBureauhadbeenformedjointlybytheSecretServiceandCombined
Operations,andMajorSmythehadbeengiventhetemporaryrankoflieutenantcolonel
andtoldtoformaunitwhosejobwouldbethecleaningupofGestapoandAbwehr
hideoutswhenthecollapseofGermanycameabout.TheOSSgottohearofthescheme
andinsistedongettingintotheacttocopewiththeAmericanwingofthefront,andthe
resultwasthecreationofnotonebutsixunitsthatwentintooperationinGermanyand
Austriaonthedayofsurrender.Theywereunitsoftwentymen,eachwithalightarmored
car,sixjeeps,awirelesstruck,andthreelorries,andtheywerecontrolledbyajointAnglo
AmericanheadquartersinSHAEF,whichalsofedthemwithtargetsfromtheArmy
IntelligenceunitsandfromtheSISandOSS.MajorSmythehadbeenNumberTwoof"A"
Force,whichhadbeenallottedtheTirolanareafullofgoodhidingplaceswitheasy
accesstoItalyandperhapsoutofEuropethatwasknowntohavebeenchosenas
funkholeNumberOnebythepeopleMOBForcewasafter.And,asMajorSmythehadjust
toldBond,theyhadhadthemselvesaball.Allwithoutfiringashotexcept,thatis,two
firedbyMajorSmythe.
JamesBondsaidcasually,"DoesthenameofHannesOberhauserringabell?"
MajorSmythefrowned,tryingtoremember."Can'tsayitdoes."Itwaseightydegreesin
theshade,butheshivered.
"Letmerefreshyourmemory.Onthesamedayasthosedocumentsweregiventoyouto
lookover,youmadeinquiriesattheTiefenbrnnerHotel,whereyouwerebilleted,forthe
bestmountainguideinKitzbhel.YouwerereferredtoOberhauser.Thenextdayyou
askedyourCOforaday'sleave,whichwasgranted.Earlynextmorningyouwentto
Oberhauser'schalet,puthimunderclosearrest,anddrovehimawayinyourjeep.Does
thatringabell?"
Thatphraseabout"refreshingyourmemory."HowoftenhadMajorSmythehimselfused
itwhenhewastryingtotrapaGermanliar?Takeyourtime!You'vebeenreadyfor
somethinglikethisforyears.MajorSmytheshookhisheaddoubtfully."Can'tsayitdoes."

"Amanwithgrayinghairandagammyleg.SpokesomeEnglish,he'dbeenaskiteacher
beforethewar."
MajorSmythelookedcandidlyintothecold,clearblueeyes."Sorry.Can'thelpyou."
JamesBondtookasmallblueleathernotebookoutofhisinsidepocketandturnedthe
leaves.Hestoppedturningthem.Helookedup."Atthattime,assidearms,youwere
carryingaregulationWebleyScottfortyfivewiththeserialnumbereightninesixseven
threesixtytwo."
"ItwascertainlyaWebley.Damnedclumsyweapon.Hopethey'vegotsomethingmore
liketheLugerortheheavyBerettathesedays.ButIcan'tsayIevertookanoteofthe
number."
"Thenumber'srightenough,"saidJamesBond."I'vegotthedateofitsissuetoyoubyHQ
andthedatewhenyouturneditin.Yousignedthebookbothtimes."
MajorSmytheshrugged."Wellthen,itmusthavebeenmygun.But"heputrather
angryimpatienceintohisvoice"what,ifImayask,isallthisinaidof?"
JamesBondlookedathimalmostwithcuriosity.Hesaid,andnowhisvoicewasnot
unkind,"Youknowwhatitisallabout,Smythe."Hepausedandseemedtoreflect."Tell
youwhat.I'llgooutintothegardenfortenminutesorso.Giveyoutimetothinkthings
over.Givemeahail."Headdedseriously"It'llmakethingssomucheasierforyouifyou
comeoutwiththestoryinyourownwords."Bondwalkedtothedoorintothegarden.He
turnedaround."I'mafraidit'sonlyaquestionofdottingthei'sandcrossingthet's.You
seeIhadatalkwiththeFoobrothersinKingstonyesterday."Hesteppedoutontothe
lawn.
SomethinginMajorSmythewasrelieved.Nowatleastthebattleofwits,thetryingto
inventalibis,theevasions,wereover.IfthismanBondhadgottotheFoos,toeitherof
them,theywouldhavespilledthebeans.Thelastthingtheywantedwastogetinbad
withthegovernment,andanywaytherewasonlyaboutsixinchesofthestuffleft.
MajorSmythegotbrisklytohisfeetandwenttotheloadedsideboardandpouredhimself
outanotherbrandyandgingerale,almostfiftyfifty.Hemightaswellliveitupwhilethere
wasstilltime!Thefuturewouldn'tholdmanymoreoftheseforhim.Hewentbacktohis
chairandlithistwentiethcigaretteoftheday.Helookedathiswatch.Itsaideleventhirty.
Ifhecouldberidofthechapinanhour,he'dhaveplentyoftimewithhis"people."Hesat
anddrankandmarshaledhisthoughts.Hecouldmakethestorylongorshort,putinthe
weatherandthewaytheflowersandpineshadsmelledonthemountain,orhecouldcut
itshort.Hewouldcutitshort.
***
UpinthatbigdoublebedroomintheTiefenbrnner,withthewadsofbuffandgraypaper
spreadoutonthesparebed,hehadn'tbeenlookingforanythingspecial,justtaking
sampleshereandthereandconcentratingontheonesmarked,inred,
9

KOMMANDOSACHEHCHSTVERTRAULICH.Thereweren'tmanyofthese,andthey
weremostlyconfidentialreportsonGermantopbrass,interceptsofbrokenalliedciphers,
andinformationaboutthewhereaboutsofsecretdumps.Sincethesewerethemain
targetsof"A"Force,MajorSmythehadscannedthemwithparticularexcitementfood,
explosives,guns,espionagerecords,filesofGestapopersonnel.Atremendoushaul!And
then,atthebottomofthepacket,therehadbeenthesingleenvelopesealedwithredwax
andthenotationONLYTOBEOPENEDINFINALEMERGENCY.Theenvelopecontainedone
singlesheetofpaper.Itwasunsigned,andthefewwordswerewritteninredink.The
headingsaidVALUTA,andbeneathitwaswritten:WILDEKAISER.FRANZISKANERHALT.
100M.STLICHSTEINHGEL.WAFFENKISTE.ZWEIBAR24KT.Underthatwasalistof
measurementsincentimeters.MajorSmytheheldhishandsapartasiftellingastory
aboutafishhehadcaught.Thebarswouldbeaboutaswideashisshouldersandabout
twobyfourinches.AndonesingleEnglishsovereignofonlyeighteencaratswasselling
nowadaysfortwotothreepounds!Thiswasabloodyfortune!Forty,fiftythousand
poundsworth!Maybeevenahundred!Hedidn'tstoptothink,but,quitecoollyand
speedily,incaseanyoneshouldcomein,heputamatchtothepaperandtheenvelope,
groundtheashestopowder,andswilledthemdownthelavatory.Thenhetookouthis
largescaleAustrianordnancemapoftheareaandinamomenthadhisfingeronthe
FranziskanerHalt.Itwasmarkedasanuninhabitedmountaineer'srefugeonasaddlejust
belowthehighestoftheeasterlypeaksoftheKaisermountains,thataweinspiringrange
ofgiantstoneteeththatgaveKitzbhelitsthreateningnorthernhorizon.Andthecairnof
stoneswouldbeabouttherehisfingernailpointedandthewholebloodylotwas
onlytenmilesandperhapsafivehours'climbaway!
ThebeginninghadbeenasthisfellowBondhaddescribed.HehadgonetoOberhauser's
chaletatfourinthemorning,hadarrestedhim,andhadtoldhisweeping,protesting
familythatSmythewastakinghimtoaninterrogationcampinMunich.Iftheguide's
recordwascleanhewouldbebackhomewithinaweek.Ifthefamilykickedupafussit
wouldonlymaketroubleforOberhauser.Smythehadrefusedtogivehisnameandhad
hadtheforethoughttoshroudthenumbersonhisjeep.Intwentyfourhours,"A"Force
wouldbeonitsway,andbythetimemilitarygovernmentgottoKitzbhel,theincident
wouldalreadybeburiedunderthemorassoftheOccupationtangle.
Oberhauserhadbeenaniceenoughchaponcehehadrecoveredfromhisfright,and
whenSmythetalkedknowinglyaboutskiingandclimbing,bothofwhichhehaddone
beforethewar,thepair,asSmytheintended,becamequitepally.Theirroutelayalongthe
bottomoftheKaiserrangetoKufstein,andSmythedroveslowly,makingadmiring
commentsonthepeaksthatwerenowflushedwiththepinkofdawn.Finally,belowthe
peakofgold,ashecalledittohimself,heslowedtoahaltandpulledofftheroadintoa
grassyglade.Heturnedinhisseatandsaidwithanassumptionofcandor,"Oberhauser,
youareamanaftermyownheart.Wesharemanyintereststogether,andfromyourtalk,
andfromthemanIthinkyoutobe,IamsureyoudidnotcooperatewiththeNazis.NowI
willtellyouwhatIwilldo.WewillspendthedayclimbingontheKaiser,andIwillthen
driveyoubacktoKitzbhelandreporttomycommandingofficerthatyouhavebeen
clearedatMunich."Hegrinnedcheerfully."Now.Howaboutthat?"
Themanhadbeenneartotearsofgratitude.Butcouldhehavesomekindofpaperto
showthathewasagoodcitizen?Certainly.MajorSmythe'ssignaturewouldbequite
10

enough.Thepactwasmade,thejeepwasdrivenupatrackandwellhiddenfromthe
road,andtheywereoffatasteadypace,climbingupthroughthepinescentedfoothills.
Smythewaswelldressedfortheclimb.Hehadnothingonexcepthisbushshut,shorts,
andapairoftheexcellentrubbersoledbootsissuedtoAmericanparachutists.Hisonly
burdenwastheWebleyScott,and,tactfully,forOberhauserwasafteralloneofthe
enemy,Oberhauserdidn'tsuggestthatheleaveitbehindsomeconspicuousrock.
Oberhauserwasinhisbestsuitandboots,butthatdidn'tseemtobotherhim,andhe
assuredMajorSmythethatropesandpitonswouldnotbeneededfortheirclimbandthat
therewasahutdirectlyupabovethemwheretheycouldrest.Itwascalledthe
FranziskanerHalt.
"Isitindeed?"saidMajorSmythe.
"Yes,andbelowitthereisasmallglacier.Verypretty,butwewillclimbroundit.Thereare
manycrevasses."
"Isthatso?"saidMajorSmythethoughtfully.HeexaminedthebackofOberhauser'shead,
nowbeadedwithsweat.Afterall,hewasonlyabloodykraut,oratanyrateofthatilk.
Whatwouldonemoreorlessmatter?Itwasallgoingtobeaseasyasfallingoffalog.The
onlythingthatworriedMajorSmythewasgettingthebloodystuffdownthemountain.He
decidedthathewouldsomehowslingthebarsacrosshisback.Afterall,hecouldslideit
mostofthewayinitsammunitionboxorwhatnot.
Itwasalong,drearyhackupthemountain,andwhentheywereabovethetreeline,the
suncameupanditwasveryhot.Andnowitwasallrockandscree,andtheirlongzigzags
sentbouldersandrubblerumblingandcrashingdowntheslopethatgoteversteeperas
theyapproachedthefinalcrag,grayandmenacing,thatlancedawayintotheblueabove
them.Theywerebothnakedtothewaistandsweating,sothatthesweatrandowntheir
legsintotheirboots,butdespiteOberhauser'slimp,theykeptupagoodpace,andwhen
theystoppedforadrinkandaswabdownatahurtlingmountainstream,Oberhauser
congratulatedMajorSmytheonhisfitness.MajorSmythe,hismindfullofdreams,said
curtlyanduntruthfullythatallEnglishsoldierswerefit,andtheywenton.
Therockfacewasn'tdifficult.MajorSmythehadknownthatitwouldn'tbeorthe
climbers'hutcouldn'thavebeenbuiltontheshoulder.Toeholdshadbeencutintheface,
andtherewereoccasionalironpegshammeredintocrevices.Buthecouldn'thavefound
themoredifficulttraversesbyhimself,andhecongratulatedhimselfondecidingtobring
aguide.
Once,Oberhauser'shand,testingforagrip,dislodgedagreatslabofrock,loosenedby
fiveyearsofsnowandfrost,andsentitcrashingdownthemountain.MajorSmythe
suddenlythoughtaboutnoise."Manypeoplearoundhere?"heaskedastheywatchedthe
boulderhurtledownintothetreeline."NotasouluntilyougetnearKufstein,"said
Oberhauser.Hegesturedalongthearidrangeofhighpeaks."Nograzing.Littlewater.
Onlytheclimberscomehere.Andsincethebeginningofthewar..."Heleftthephrase
unfinished.

11

Theyskirtedthebluefangedglacierbelowthefinalclimbtotheshoulder.MajorSmythe's
carefuleyestookinthewidthanddepthofthecrevasses.Yes,theywouldfit!Directly
abovethem,perhapsahundredfeetupundertheleeoftheshoulder,werethe
weatherbeatenboardsofthehut.MajorSmythemeasuredtheangleoftheslope.Yes,it
wasalmostastraightdivedown.Noworlater?Heguessedlater.Thelineofthelast
traversewasn'tveryclear.
Theywereupatthehutinfivehoursflat.MajorSmythesaidhewantedtorelievehimself
andwanderedcasuallyalongtheshouldertotheeast,payingnoheedtothebeautiful
panoramasofAustriaandBavariathatstretchedawayoneithersideofhimperhapsfifty
milesintotheheathaze.Hecountedhispacescarefully.Atexactlyonehundredand
twentytherewasthecairnofstones,alovingmemorialperhapstosomelongdead
climber.MajorSmythe,knowingdifferently,longedtotearitapartthereandthen.Instead
hetookouthisWebleyScott,squinteddownthebarrel,andtwirledthecylinder.Thenhe
walkedback.
Itwascoldupthereattenthousandfeetormore,andOberhauserhadgotintothehut
andwasbusypreparingafire.MajorSmythecontrolledhishorroratthesight.
"Oberhauser,"hesaidcheerfully,"comeoutandshowmesomeofthesights.Wonderful
viewuphere."
"Certainly,Major."OberhauserfollowedMajorSmytheoutofthehut.Outside,hefished
inhishippocketandproducedsomethingwrappedinpaper.Heundidthepapertoreveal
ahardwrinkledsausage.Heofferedittothemajor."ItisonlywhatwecallaSoldat,"he
saidshyly."Smokedmeat.Verytoughbutgood."Hesmiled."Itislikewhattheyeatin
WildWestfilms.Whatisthename?"
"Pemmican,"saidtheMajor.Thenandlaterthishadslightlydisgustedhimwithhimself
hesaid,"Leaveitinthehut.Wewillshareitlater.Comeoverhere.Canwesee
Innsbruck?Showmetheviewonthisside."
Oberhauserbobbedintothehutandoutagain.TheMajorfellinjustbehindhimashe
talked,pointingoutthisorthatdistantchurchspireormountainpeak.
Theycametothepointabovetheglacier.MajorSmythedrewhisrevolver,andatarange
oftwofeet,firedtwobulletsintothebaseofHannesOberhauser'sskull.Nomuffing!
Deadon!
Theimpactofthebulletsknockedtheguidecleanoffhisfeetandovertheedge.Major
Smythecranedover.Thebodyhittwiceonly,andthencrashedontotheglacier.Butnot
ontoitsfissuredorigin.Halfwaydownandonapatchofoldsnow!"Hell!"saidMajor
Smythe.
Thedeepboomofthetwoshots,whichhadbeenbattingtoandfroamongthe
mountains,diedaway.MajorSmythetookonelastlookattheblacksplashonthewhite
snowandhurriedoffalongtheshoulder.Firstthingsfirst!

12

Hestartedonthetopofthecairn,workingasifthedevilwereafterhim,throwingthe
rough,heavystonesindiscriminatelydownthemountaintorightorleftHishandsbegan
tobleed,buthehardlynoticed.Nowtherewereonlytwofeetorsoleft,andnothing!
Bloodynothing!Hebenttothelastpile,scrabblingfeverishly.Andthen!Yes!Theedgeof
ametalbox.Afewmorerocksaway,andtherewasthewholeofit!Agoodoldgray
Wehrmachtammunitionboxwiththetraceofsomeletteringstillonit.MajorSmythe
gaveagroanofjoy.Hesatdownonahardpieceofrock,andhismindwentorbiting
throughBentleys,MonteCarlo,penthouseflats,Cartier's,champagne,caviar,and,
incongruously(butbecausehelovedgolf),anewsetofHenryCottonirons.

Drunkwithhisdreams,MajorSmythesattherelookingatthegrayboxforafullquarterof
anhour.Thenhelookedathiswatchandgotbrisklytohisfeet.Timetogetridofthe
evidence.Theboxhadahandleateachend.MajorSmythehadexpectedittobeheavy.
Hehadmentallycompareditsprobableweightwiththeheaviestthinghehadevercarried
afortypoundsalmonhehadcaughtinScotlandjustbeforethewarbuttheboxwas
certainlydoublethatweight,andhewasonlyjustabletoliftitoutofitslastbedofrocks
ontothethinalpinegrass.Thenheslunghishandkerchiefthroughoneofthehandlesand
draggeditclumsilyalongtheshouldertothehut.Thenhesatdownonthestone
doorstep,and,hiseyesneverleavingthebox,hetoreatOberhauser'ssmokedsausage
withhisstrongteethandthoughtaboutgettinghisfiftythousandpoundsforthatwas
thefigureheputitatdownthemountainandintoanewhidingplace.
Oberhauser'ssausagewasarealmountaineer'smealtough,wellfatted,andstrongly
garlicked.BitsofitstuckuncomfortablybetweenMajorSmythe'steeth.Hedugthemout
withasliverofmatchstickandspatthemontheground.ThenhisIntelligencewisemind
cameintooperation,andhemeticulouslysearchedamongthestonesandgrass,pickedup
thescraps,andswallowedthem.Fromnowonhewasacriminalasmuchacriminalas
ifhehadrobbedabankandshottheguard.Hewasacopturnedrobber.Hemust
rememberthat!Itwouldbedeathifhedidn'tdeathinsteadofCarder's.Allhehadto
dowastotakeinfinitepains.Hewouldtakethosepains,andbyGodtheywouldbe
infinite!Then,foreverafter,hewouldberichandhappy.Aftertakingridiculouslyminute
troubletoeradicateanysignofentryintothehut,hedraggedtheammunitionboxtothe
edgeofthelastrockfaceandaimingitawayfromtheglacier,tippedit,withaprayer,into
space.
Thegraybox,turningslowlyintheair,hitthefirststeepslopebelowtherockface,
boundedanotherhundredfeet,andlandedwithanironclanginsomeloosescreeand
stopped.MajorSmythecouldn'tseeifithadburstopen.Hedidn'tmindonewayorthe
other.Hehadtriedtoopenitwithoutsuccess.Letthemountaindoitforhim!
Withalastlookaround,hewentovertheedge.Hetookgreatcareateachpiton,tested
eachhandholdandfootholdbeforeheputhisweightonit.Comingdown,hewasamuch
morevaluablelifethanhehadbeenclimbingup.Hemadefortheglacierandtrudged
acrossthemeltingsnowtotheblackpatchontheicefield.Therewasnothingtobedone
aboutfootprints.Itwouldtakeonlyafewdaysforthemtobemelteddownbythesun.He
gottothebody.Hehadseenmanycorpsesduringthewar,andthebloodandbroken
limbsmeantnothingtohim.HedraggedtheremainsofOberhausertothenearestdeep
crevasseandtoppleditin.ThenhewentcarefullyaroundtheUpofthecrevasseand
13

kickedthesnowoverhangdownontopofthebody.Then,satisfiedwithhiswork,he
retracedhissteps,placinghisfeetexactlyinhisoldfootprints,andmadehiswayondown
theslopetotheammunitionbox.
Yes,themountainhadburstopenthelidforhim.Almostcasuallyhetoreawaythe
cartridgepaperwrappings.Thetwogreathunksofmetalglitteredupathimunderthe
sun.Therewerethesamemarkingsoneachtheswastikainacirclebelowaneagle,and
thedate1943themintmarksoftheReichsbank.MajorSmythegaveanodofapproval.
Hereplacedthepaperandhammeredthecrookedlidhalfshutwitharock.Thenhetied
thelanyardofhisWebleyaroundoneofthehandlesandmovedondownthemountain,
dragginghisclumsyburdenbehindhim.
Itwasnowoneo'clock,andthesunbeatfiercelydownonhisnakedchest,fryinghimin
hisownsweat.Hisreddenedshouldersbegantoburn.Sodidhisface.Tohellwiththem!
Hestoppedatthestreamfromtheglacier,dippedhishandkerchiefinthewater,andtied
itacrosshisforehead.Thenhedrankdeeplyandwenton,occasionallycursingthe
ammunitionboxasitcaughtupwithhimandbangedathisheels.Butthesediscomforts,
thesunburnandthebruises,werenothingcomparedwithwhathewouldhavetoface
whenhegotdowntothevalleyandthegoingleveledout.Forthetimebeinghehad
gravityonhisside.Therewouldcomeatleastamilewhenhewouldhavetocarrythe
blastedstuff.MajorSmythewincedatthethoughtofthehavoctheeightypoundsorso
wouldwreakonhisburnedback."Ohwell,"hesaidtohimselfalmostlightheadedly,"il
fautsouffrirpourtremillionaire!"
Whenhegottothebottomandthetimehadcome,hesatandrestedonamossybank
underthefirs.Thenhespreadouthisbushshirtandheavedthetwobarsoutofthebox
andontoitscenterandtiedthetailsoftheshirtasfirmlyashecouldtowherethesleeves
sprangfromtheshoulders.Afterdiggingashallowholeinthebankandburyingtheempty
box,heknottedthetwocuffsofthesleevesfirmlytogether,kneltdownandslippedhis
headthroughtheroughsling,gothishandsoneithersideoftheknottoprotecthisneck,
andstaggeredtohisfeet,crouchingfarforwardsoasnottobepulledoveronhisback.
Then,crushedunderhalfhisownweight,hisbackonfireunderthecontactwithhis
burden,andhisbreathraspingthroughhisconstrictedlungs,coolielike,heshuffled
slowlyoffdownthelittlepaththroughthetrees.
Tothisdayhedidn'tknowhowhehadmadeittothejeep.Againandagaintheknotsgave
underthestrainandthebarscrasheddownonthecalvesofhislegs,andeachtimehehad
satwithhisheadinhishandsandthenstartedalloveragain.Butfinally,byconcentrating
oncountinghisstepsandstoppingforarestateveryhundredth,hegottotheblessed
littlejeepandcollapsedbesideit.Andthentherehadbeenthebusinessofburyinghis
hoardinthewood,amongstajumbleofbigrocksthathewouldbesuretofindagain,of
cleaninghimselfupasbesthecould,andofgettingbacktohisbilletbyacircuitousroute
thatavoidedtheOberhauserchalet.Andthenitwasalldone,andhehadgotdrunkby
himselfoffabottleofcheapschnappsandeatenandgonetobedandfallenintoa
stupefiedsleep.Thenextday,MOB"A"ForcehadmovedoffuptheMittersillvalleyona
freshtrail,andsixmonthslaterMajorSmythewasbackinLondonandhiswarwasover.
Butnothisproblems.Goldisdifficultstufftosmuggle,certainlyinthequantityavailable
toMajorSmythe,anditwasnowessentialtogethistwobarsacrosstheChannelandinto
14

anewhidingplace.Soheputoffhisdemobilizationandclungtotheredtabsofhis
temporaryrank,andparticularlytohisMilitaryIntelligencepasses,andsoongothimself
sentbacktoGermanyasaBritishrepresentativeattheCombinedInterrogationCenterin
Munich.Therehedidascratchjobforsixmonths,duringwhich,onaweekend'sleave,he
collectedhisgoldandstoweditawayinabatteredsuitcaseinhisquarters.Thenhe
resignedhispostandflewbacktoEngland,carryingthetwobarsinabulkybriefcase.The
hundredyardsacrossthetarmacateachendoftheflight,andthehandlingofhiscaseas
ifitcontainedonlypapers,requiredtwobenzedrinetabletsandawillofiron,butatlast
hehadhisfortunesafeinthebasementofanaunt'sflatinKensingtonandcouldgeton
withthenextphaseofhisplansatleisure.HeresignedfromtheRoyalMarinesandgot
himselfdemobilizedandmarriedoneofthemanygirlshehadsleptwithatMOBForce
Headquarters,acharmingblondeWrenfromasolidmiddleclassfamilynamedMary
Parnell.Hegotpassagesforthembothinoneoftheearlybananaboatssailingfrom
AvonmouthtoKingston,Jamaica,whichtheybothagreedwouldbeaparadiseof
sunshine,goodfood,cheapdrink,andaglorioushavenfromthegloomandrestrictions
andLabourGovernmentofpostwarEngland.Beforetheysailed,MajorSmytheshowed
MarythegoldbarsfromwhichhehadchiseledawaythemintmarksoftheReichsbank.
"I'vebeenclever,darling,"hesaid."Ijustdon'ttrustthepoundthesedays,soI'vesoldout
allmysecuritiesandswappedthelotforgold.Mustbeaboutfiftythousandpounds'
worththere.Thatshouldgiveustwentyfiveyearsofthegoodlife,justcuttingoffaslice
nowandthenandsellingit."
MaryParnellwasnottoknowthatsuchatransactionwasimpossibleunderthecurrency
laws.Shekneltdownandranherhandslovinglyoverthegleamingbars.Thenshegotup
andthrewherarmsaroundMajorSmythe'sneckandkissedhim."You'reawonderful,
wonderfulman,"shesaid,almostintears."Frightfullycleverandhandsomeandbrave,
andnowIfindoutthatyou'rerichaswell.I'mtheluckiestgirlintheworld."
"Well,anywaywe'rerich,"saidMajorSmythe."Butpromisemeyouwon'tbreathea
word,orwe'llhavealltheburglarsinJamaicaaroundourears.Promise?"
"Crossmyheart."
Prince'sClub,inthefoothillsaboveKingston,wasindeedaparadise.Pleasantenough
members,wonderfulservants,unlimitedfood,cheapdrinkandallinthewonderful
settingofthetropics,whichneitherofthemhadknownbefore.Theywereapopular
couple,andMajorSmythe'swarrecordearnedthemtheentreetoGovernmentHouse
society,afterwhichtheirlifewasoneendlessroundofparties,withtennisforMaryand
golf(withtheHenryCottonirons!)forMajorSmythe.Intheeveningstherewasbridgefor
herandthehighpokergameforhim.Yes,itwasparadiseallright,whileintheirhomeland
peoplemunchedtheirSpam,fiddledintheblackmarket,cursedthegovernment,and
sufferedtheworstwinter'sweatherforthirtyyears.
TheSmythesmetalltheirinitialexpendituresfromtheircombinedcashreserves,swollen
bywartimegratuities,andittookMajorSmytheafullyearofcarefulsniffingaround
beforehedecidedtodobusinesswiththeMessrs.Foo,importandexportmerchants.The
brothersFoo,highlyrespectedandveryrich,weretheacknowledgedgoverningjuntaof
15

theflourishingChinesecommunityinJamaica.Someoftheirtradingwassuspectedtobe
deviousintheChinesetraditionbutallMajorSmythe'scasuallymeticulousinquiries
confirmedthattheywereutterlytrustworthy.TheBrettonWoodsConvention,fixinga
controlledworldpriceforgold,hadbeensigned,andithadalreadybecomecommon
knowledgethatTangierandMacaoweretwofreeportsthat,fordifferentreasons,had
escapedtheBrettonWoodsnet;thereapriceofatleastonehundreddollarsperounceof
gold,ninetyninefine,couldbeobtained,comparedwiththefixedworldpriceofthirty
fivedollarsperounce.And,conveniently,theFooshadjustbeguntotradeagainwitha
resurgentHongKong,alreadytheportofentryforgoldsmugglingintotheneighboring
Macao.Thewholesetupwas,inMajorSmythe'slanguage,"tickettyboo."Hehadamost
pleasantmeetingwiththeFoobrothers.Noquestionswereaskeduntilitcameto
examiningthebars.Atthispointtheabsenceofmintmarksresultedinapoliteinquiryas
totheoriginalprovenanceofthegold.
"Yousee,Major,"saidtheolderandblanderofthebrothersbehindthebigbare
mahoganydesk,"inthebullionmarketthemintmarksofallrespectablenationalbanks
andresponsibledealersareacceptedwithoutquestion.Suchmarksguaranteethe
finenessofthegold.Butofcoursethereareotherbanksanddealerswhosemethodsof
refining"hisbenignsmilewidenedafraction"areperhapsnotquite,shallwesay,so
accurate."
"Youmeantheoldgoldbrickswindle?"askedMajorSmythewithatwingeofanxiety.
"Hunkofleadcoveredwithgoldplating?"
Bothbrothersteeheedreassuringly."No,no,Major.Thatofcourseisoutofthequestion.
But"thesmilesheldconstant"ifyoucannotrecalltheprovenanceofthesefinebars,
perhapsyouwouldhavenoobjectionsifweweretoundertakeanassay.Thereare
methodsofdeterminingtheexactfinenessofsuchbars.MybrotherandIarecompetent
inthesemethods.Ifyouwouldcaretoleavethesewithusandperhapscomebackafter
lunch...?"
Therehadbeennoalternative.MajorSmythehadtotrusttheFoosutterlynow.They
couldcookupanyfigure,andhewouldjusthavetoacceptit.HewentovertotheMyrtle
Bankandhadoneortwostiffdrinksandasandwichthatstuckinhisthroat.Thenhewent
backtothecoolofficeoftheFoos.
Thesettingwasthesamethetwosmilingbrothers,thetwobarsofgold,thebriefcase
butnowtherewasapieceofpaperandagoldParkerpeninfrontoftheolderbrother.
"Wehavesolvedtheproblemofyourfinebars,Major"
"Fine!ThankGod,"thoughtMajorSmythe.
"AndIamsureyouwillbeinterestedtoknowtheirprobablehistory."
"Yesindeed,"saidMajorSmythe,withabraveshowofenthusiasm.

16

"TheyareGermanbars,Major.ProbablyfromthewartimeReichsbank.Thiswehave
deducedfromthefactthattheycontaintenpercentoflead.UndertheHitlerregime,it
wasthefoolishhabitoftheReichsbanktoadulteratetheirgoldinthismanner.Thisfact
rapidlybecameknowntodealers,andthepriceofGermanbars,inSwitzerlandfor
instance,wheremanyofthemfoundtheirway,wasadjusteddownwardaccordingly.So
theonlyresultoftheGermanfoolishnesswasthatthenationalbankofGermanylosta
reputationforhonestdealingithadearnedoverthecenturies."TheOriental'ssmiledidn't
vary."Verybadbusiness,Major.Verystupid."
MajorSmythemarveledattheomniscienceofthesetwomensofarfromthegreat
commercialchannelsoftheworld,buthealsocursedit.Nowwhat?Hesaid,"That'svery
interesting,Mr.Foo.Butitisnotverygoodnewsforme.Arethesebarsnot'Good
delivery,'orwhateveryoucallitinthebullionworld?"
TheolderFoomadeaslightthrowawaygesturewithhisrighthand."Itisofno
importance,Major.Orrather,itisofverysmallimportance.Wewillsellyourgoldatits
truemintvalue,letussay,eightyninefine.Itmayberefinedbytheultimatepurchaser,
oritmaynot.Thatisnotourbusiness.Weshallhavesoldatruebillofgoods."
"Butatalowerprice."
"Thatisso,Major.ButIthinkIhavesomegoodnewsforyou.Haveyouanyestimateasto
theworthofthesetwobars?"
"Ithoughtaroundfiftythousandpounds."
TheolderFoogaveadrychuckle."Ithinkifwesellwiselyandslowlyyoushould
receiveonehundredthousandpounds,Major,subjectthatis,toourcommission,which
willincludeshippingandincidentalcharges."
"Howmuchwouldthatbe?"
"Wewerethinkingaboutafigureoftenpercent,Major.Ifthatissatisfactorytoyou."
MajorSmythehadanideathatbullionbrokersreceivedafractionofonepercent.But
whatthehell?Hehadalreadyasgoodasmadefortythousandpoundssincelunch.Hesaid
"Done"andgotupandreachedhishandacrossthedesk.
Fromthenon,everyquarter,hewouldvisittheofficeoftheFooscarryinganempty
suitcase.OnthebroaddesktherewouldbeonethousandnewJamaicanpoundsinneat
bundlesandthetwogoldbars,whichdiminishedinchbyinch,togetherwithatypedslip
showingtheamountsoldandthepriceobtainedinMacao.Itwasallverysimpleand
friendlyandhighlybusinesslike,andMajorSmythedidn'tthinkthathewasbeing
submittedtoanyformofsqueezeotherthanthedulyrecordedtenpercent.Inanycase,
hedidn'tparticularlycare.Fourthousandnetayearwasgoodenoughforhim,andhis
onlyworrywasthattheincometaxpeoplewouldgetafterhimandaskhimwhathewas
livingon.HementionedthispossibilitytotheFoos.Buttheysaidhewasnottoworry,and
forthenextfourquarters,therewasonlyninehundredpoundsinsteadofathousandon
17

thetableandnocommentwasmadebyeitherside.Squeezehadbeenadministeredin
therightquarter.
Andsothelazy,sunshinydayspassedbyforfifteenhappyyears.TheSmythesbothputon
weight,andMajorSmythehadthefirstofhistwocoronariesandwastoldbyMsdoctorto
cutdownonhisalcoholandcigarettes,totakelifemoreeasily,toavoidfatsandfried
food.MarySmythetriedtobefirmwithhim,butwhenhetooktosecretdrinkingandtoa
lifeofpettyliesandevasions,shetriedtobackpedalonherattemptstocontrolhisself
indulgence.Butshewastoolate.Shehadalreadybecomethesymbolofthecaretakerto
MajorSmythe,andhetooktoavoidingher.Sheberatedhimwithnotlovingheranymore.
Andwhenthecontinualbickeringbecametoomuchforhersimplenature,shebecamea
sleepingpilladdict.Andonenight,afteroneflamingdrunkenrow,shetookanoverdose
"justtoshowhim."Itwastoomuchofanoverdoseanditkilledher.Thesuicidewas
hushedup,buttheclouddidMajorSmythenogoodsocially,andheretreatedtothe
NorthShore,which,althoughonlysomethirtymilesacrosstheislandfromthecapital,is,
eveninthesmallsocietyofJamaica,adifferentworld.Andtherehehadsettledin
Waveletsand,afterhissecondcoronary,wasintheprocessofdrinkinghimselftodeath
whenthismannamedBondarrivedonthescenewithanalternativedeathwarrantinhis
pocket.
***
MajorSmythelookedathiswatch.Itwasafewminutesaftertwelveo'clock.Hegotup
andpouredhimselfanotherstiffbrandyandgingeraleandwentoutontothelawn.James
Bondwassittingundertheseaalmondsgazingouttosea.Hedidn'tlookupwhenMajor
Smythepulledupanotheraluminumgardenchairandputhisdrinkonthegrassbeside
him.
WhenMajorSmythehadfinishedtellinghisstory,Bondsaidunemotionally,"Yes,that's
moreorlessthewayIfiguredit."
"Wantmetowriteitalloutandsignit?"
"Youcanifyoulike.Butnotforme.That'llbeforthecourtmartial.Youroldcorpswillbe
handlingallthat.I'vegotnothingtodowiththelegalaspects.Ishallputinareporttomy
ownServiceofwhatyou'vetoldme,andthey'llpassitontotheRoyalMarines.ThenI
supposeit'llgotothePublicProsecutorviaScotlandYard."
"CouldIaskaquestion?"
"Ofcourse."
"Howdidtheyfindout?"
"Itwasasmallglacier.Oberhauser'sbodycameoutatthebottomofitearlierthisyear.
Whenthespringsnowsmelted.Someclimbersfoundit.Allhispapersandeverything
wereintact.Hisfamilyidentifiedhim.Thenitwasjustaquestionofworkingback.The
bulletsclinchedit."
18

"Buthowdidyougetmixedupinthewholething?"
"MOBForcewasaresponsibilityofmy,er,Service.Thepapersfoundtheirwaytous.I
happenedtoseethefile.Ihadsomesparetimeonmyhands.Iaskedtobegiventhejob
ofchasingupthemanwhodidit."
"Why?"
JamesBondlookedMajorSmythesquarelyintheeyes."ItjusthappenedthatOberhauser
wasafriendofmine.Hetaughtmetoskibeforethewar,whenIwasinmyteens.Hewas
awonderfulman.HewassomethingofafathertomeatatimewhenIhappenedtoneed
one."
"Oh,Isee."MajorSmythelookedaway."I'msorry."
JamesBondgottohisfeet."Well,I'llbegettingbacktoKingston."Heheldupahand."No,
don'tbother.I'llfindmywaytothecar."Helookeddownattheolderman.Hesaid
abruptly,almostharshlyperhaps,MajorSmythethought,tohidehisembarrassment
"It'llbeaboutaweekbeforetheysendsomeoneouttobringyouhome."Thenhewalked
offacrossthelawnandthroughthehouse,andMajorSmytheheardtheironwhirrofthe
selfstarterandtheclatterofthegravelontheunkemptdrive.
***
MajorSmythe,questingforhispreyalongthereef,wonderedwhatexactlythoselast
wordsoftheBondmanhadmeant.InsidethePirellihislipsdrewmirthlesslybackfrom
thestainedteeth.Itwasobvious,really.Itwasjustaversionofthecornyoldactofleaving
theguiltyofficeralonewithhisrevolver.IftheBondmanhadwantedto,hecouldhave
telephonedGovernmentHouseandhadanofficeroftheJamaicaRegimentsentoverto
takeMajorSmytheintocustody.Decentofhim,inaway.Orwasit?Asuicidewouldbe
tidier,savealotofpaperworkandtaxpayers'money.
ShouldheobligetheBondmanandbetidy?JoinMaryinwhateverplacesuicidesgoto?
Orgothroughwithittheindignity,thedrearyformalities,theheadlines,theboredom
anddrabnessofalifesentencethatwouldinevitablyendwithhisthirdcoronary?Or
shouldhedefendhimselfpleadwartime,astrugglewithOberhauser,prisonertryingto
escape,Oberhauserknowingofthegoldcache,thenaturaltemptationofSmythetomake
awaywiththebullion,he,apoorofficerofthecommandosconfrontedwithsudden
wealth?
Shouldhedramaticallythrowhimselfonthemercyofthecourt?SuddenlyMajorSmythe
sawhimselfinthedockasplendid,uprightfigure,inthefinebemedaledblueand
scarletoftheceremonialuniformthatwasthetraditionalrigforcourtmartial.(Hadthe
mothsgotintothejapannedboxinthespareroomatWavelets?Hadthedamp?Luna
wouldhavetolooktoit.)Adayinthesunshine,iftheweatherheld.Agoodbrushing.With
thehelpofhiscorset,hecouldsurelystillgethisfortyinchwaistintothethirtyfourinch
trousersGieveshadmadeforhimtwenty,thirty,yearsago.And,downonthefloorofthe
court,atChathamprobably,thePrisoners'Friend,somestaunchfellow,atleastof
19

colonel'srankindeferencetohisownseniority,wouldbepleadinghiscause.Andthere
wasalwaysthepossibilityofappealtoahighercourt.Why,thewholeaffairmightbecome
acauseclbre...hewouldsellhisstorytothepapers,writeabook...
MajorSmythefelttheexcitementmountinginhim.Careful,oldboy!Careful!Remember
whatthegoodoldsnipcockhadsaid!Heputhisfeettothegroundandhadarestamidst
thedancingwavesofthenortheasttradesthatkepttheNorthShoresodelightfullycool
untilthetorridmonthsAugust,September,Octoberofthehurricaneseason.He
wouldsoonbehavinghistwopinkgins,skimpylunch,andhappilysoddensiesta,after
whichhewouldhavetogiveallthismorecarefulthought.Andthentherewerecocktails
withtheArundelsanddinnerattheShawParkBeachClubwiththeMarchesis.Thensome
highbridgeandhometohisSeconalsleep.Cheeredbytheprospectofthefamiliar
routine,theblackshadowofBondretreatedintothebackground.Nowthen,scorp,where
areyou?Octopussy'swaitingforherlunch!MajorSmytheputhisheaddown,andhis
mindfreshlyfocusedandhiseyesquesting,continuedhisleisurelyswimalongtheshallow
valleybetweenthecoralclumpsthatledouttowardthewhitefringedreef.Almostat
oncehesawthetwospinyantennaeofalobster,orratherofitscousin,theWestIndian
langouste,weavinginquisitivelytowardhim,towardtheturbulencehewascreating,from
adeepfissureunderacoralboulder.Fromthethicknessoftheantennae,itwouldbeabig
one,threeorfourpounds!Normally,MajorSmythewouldhaveputhisfeetdownand
delicatelystirredupthesandinfrontofthelairtobringthelobsterfartherout,forthey
areaninquisitivefamily.Thenhewouldhavespeareditthroughtheheadandtakenit
backforlunch.Buttodaytherewasonlyonepreyinhismind,oneshapetoconcentrate
ontheshaggy,irregularsilhouetteofascorpionfish.And,tenminuteslater,hesawa
clumpofseaweedyrockonthewhitesandthatwasn'tjustaclumpofseaweedyrock.He
puthisfeetsoftlydownandwatchedthepoisonspineserectthemselvesalongthebackof
thething.Itwasagoodsizedone,perhapsthreequartersofapound.Hegothisthree
prongedspearreadyandinchedforward.Nowtheredangryeyesofthefishwerewide
openandwatchinghim.Hewouldhavetomakeasinglequicklungefromasnearlythe
verticalaspossible;otherwise,heknewfromexperience,thebarbedprongs,needlesharp
thoughtheywere,wouldalmostcertainlybounceoffthehornyheadofthebeast.He
swunghisfeetupoffthegroundandpaddledforwardveryslowly,usinghisfreehandasa
fin.Now!Helungedforwardanddownward.Butthescorpionfishhadfeltthetiny
approachingShockwaveofthespear.Therewasaflurryofsand,andithadshotupina
verticaltakeoffandwhirred,inalmostbirdlikeflight,underMajorSmythe'sbelly.
MajorSmythecursedandtwistedaroundinthewater.Yes,ithaddonewhatthe
scorpionfishsooftendoesgoneforrefugetothenearestalgaecoveredrock,and
there,confidentinitssuperbcamouflage,gonetogroundontheseaweed.MajorSmythe
hadonlytoswimafewfeet,lungedownagain,thistimemoreaccurately,andhehadit,
flappingandsquirmingontheendofhisspear.
TheexcitementandthesmallexertionhadcausedMajorSmythetopant,andhefeltthe
oldpainacrosshischestlurking,readytocomeathim.Heputhisfeetdown,andafter
drivinghisspearallthewaythroughthefish,heldit,stillflappingdesperately,outofthe
water.Thenheslowlymadehiswaybackacrossthelagoononfootandwalkedupthe
sandofhisbeachtothewoodenbenchundertheseagrape.Thenhedroppedthespear
withitsjerkingquarryonthesandbesidehimandsatdowntorest.Itwasperhapsfive
minuteslaterthatMajorSmythefeltacuriousnumbnessmoreorlessintheregionofhis
20

solarplexus.Helookedcasuallydown,andhiswholebodystiffenedwithhorrorand
disbelief.Apatchofhisskin,aboutthesizeofacricketball,hadturnedwhiteunderhis
tan,and,inthecenterofthepatch,therewerethreepunctures,onebelowtheother,
toppedbylittlebeadsofblood.
Automatically,MajorSmythewipedawaytheblood.Theholeswereonlythesizeof
pinpricks.MajorSmytherememberedtherisingflightofthescorpionfish,andhesaid
aloud,withaweinhisvoice,butwithoutanimosity,"Yougotme,youbastard!ByGod,
yougotme!"
Hesatverystill,lookingdownathisbodyandrememberingwhatitsaidabout
scorpionfishstingsinthebookhehadborrowedfromtheInstituteandhadnever
returnedDangerousMarineAnimals,anAmericanpublication.Hedelicatelytouched
andthenproddedthewhiteareaaroundthepunctures.Yes,theskinhadgonetotally
numb,andnowapulseofpainbegantothrobbeneathit.Verysoonthiswouldbecomea
shootingpain.Thenthepainwouldbegintolancealloverhisbodyandbecomesointense
thathewouldthrowhimselfonthesand,screamingandthrashingabout,toridhimselfof
it.Hewouldvomitandfoamatthemouth,andthendeliriumandconvulsionswouldtake
overuntilhelostconsciousness.Then,inevitablyinhiscase,therewouldensuecardiac
failureanddeath.Accordingtothebookthewholecyclewouldbecompleteinabouta
quarterofanhourthatwasallhehadleftfifteenminutesofhideousagony!There
werecures,ofcourseprocaine,antibioticsandantihistaminesifhisweakheart
wouldstandthem.Buttheyhadtobenearathand.Evenifhecouldclimbthestepsupto
thehouse,andsupposingDr.Cahusachadthesemoderndrugs,thedoctorcouldn't
possiblygettoWaveletsinunderanhour.
ThefirstjetofpainsearedintoMajorSmythe'sbodyandbenthimoverdouble.Then
cameanotherandanother,radiatingthroughhisstomachandlimbs.Nowtherewasadry,
metallictasteinhismouth,andhislipswereprickling.Hegaveagroanandtoppledoffthe
seatontothebeach.Aflappingonthesandbesidehisheadremindedhimofthe
scorpionfish.Therecamealullinthespasmsofpain.Instead,hiswholebodyfeltas
thoughitwasonfire,but,beneaththeagony,hisbraincleared.Butofcourse!The
experiment!Somehow,somehowhemustgetouttoOctopussyandgiveherherlunch!
"OhPussy,myPussy,thisisthelastmealyou'llget."
MajorSmythemouthedtherefraintohimselfashecrouchedonallfours,foundhismask,
andstruggledtoforceitoverhisface.Thenhegotholdofhisspear,tippedwiththestill
flappingfish,andclutchinghisstomachwithhisfreehand,crawledandslithereddownthe
sandandintothewater.
Itwasfiftyyardsofshallowwatertothelairoftheoctopusinthecoralcranny,andMajor
Smythe,screamingallthewhileintohismask,crawlingmostlyonhisknees,somehow
madeit.Ashecametothelastapproachandthewaterbecamedeeper,hehadtogetto
hisfeet,andthepainmadehimjiggletoandfro,asifhewereapuppetmanipulatedby
strings.Thenhewasthere,andwithasupremeeffortofwill,heheldhimselfsteadyashe
dippedhisheaddowntoletsomewaterintohismaskandclearthemistofhisscreams
fromtheglass.Then,bloodpouringfromhisbittenlowerlip,hebentcarefullydownto
21

lookintoOctopussy'shouse.Yes!Thebrownmasswasstillthere.Itwasstirringexcitedly.
Why?MajorSmythesawthedarkstringsofhisbloodcurlinglazilydownthroughthe
water.Ofcourse!Thedarlingwastastinghisblood.AshaftofpainhitMajorSmytheand
senthimreeling.Heheardhimselfbabblingdeliriouslyintohismask.Pullyourself
together,Dexter,oldboy!You'vegottogivePussyherlunch!Hesteadiedhimself,and
holdingthespearwelldowntheshaft,loweredthefishdowntowardthewrithinghole.
WouldPussytakethebait?ThepoisonousbaitthatwaskillingMajorSmythebuttowhich
anoctopusmightbeimmune?IfonlyBengrycouldbeheretowatch!Threetentacles,
weavingexcitedly,cameoutoftheholeandwaveredaroundthescorpionfish.Nowthere
wasagraymistinfrontofMajorSmythe'seyes.Herecognizeditastheedgeof
unconsciousnessandfeeblyshookhisheadtoclearit.Andthenthetentaclesleaped!But
notatthefish!AtMajorSmythe'shandandarm.MajorSmythe'stornmouthstretchedin
agrimaceofpleasure.NowheandPussyhadshakenhands!Howexciting!Howtruly
wonderful!
Butthentheoctopus,quietly,relentlesslypulleddownward,andterriblerealizationcame
toMajorSmythe.Hesummonedhisdregsofstrengthandplungedhisspeardown.The
onlyeffectwastopushthescorpionfishintothemassoftheoctopusandoffermorearm
totheoctopus.Thetentaclessnakedupwardandpulledmorerelentlessly.Toolate,Major
Smythescrabbledawayhismask.Onebottledscreamburstoutacrosstheemptybay,
thenhisheadwentunderanddown,andtherewasanexplosionofbubblestothe
surface.ThenMajorSmythe'slegscameupandthesmallwaveswashedhisbodytoand
frowhiletheoctopusexploredhisrighthandwithitsbuccalorificeandtookafirst
tentativebiteatafingerwithitsbeaklikejaws.
***
ThebodywasfoundbytwoyoungJamaicansspinningforneedlefishfromacanoe.They
spearedtheoctopuswithMajorSmythe'sspear,killeditinthetraditionalfashionby
turningitinsideoutandbitingitsheadoff,andbroughtthethreecorpseshome.They
turnedMajorSmythe'sbodyovertothepolice,andhadthescorpionfishandtheseacat
forsupper.
ThelocalcorrespondentoftheDailyGleanerreportedthatMajorSmythehadbeenkilled
byanoctopus,butthepapertranslatedthisinto"founddrowned"soasnottofrighten
awaythetourists.
Later,inLondon,JamesBond,privatelyassuming"suicide,"wrotethesameverdictof
"founddrowned,"togetherwiththedate,onthelastpageandclosedthebulkyfile.
ItisonlyfromthenotesofDr.Cahusac,whoperformedtheautopsy,thatithasbeen
possibletoconstructsomekindofapostscripttothebizarreandpatheticendofaonce
valuableofficeroftheSecretService.

22

TheLivingDaylights
JamesBondlayinthefivehundredyardfiringpointofthefamousCenturyRangeat
Bisley.Thewhitepeginthegrassbesidehimsaid44,andthesamenumberwasrepeated
highuponthedistantbuttabovethesinglesixfeetsquaretargetthat,tothehumaneye
andinthelatesummerdusk,lookednolargerthanapostagestamp.ButthroughBond's
glassaninfraredsniperscopefixedabovehisriflethelenscoveredthewholecanvas.
Hecouldevenclearlydistinguishthepaleblueandbeigecolorsinwhichthetargetwas
divided,andthesixinchsemicircularbull'seyelookedasbigasthehalfmoonthatwas
alreadybeginningtoshowlowdowninthedarkeningskyabovethedistantcrestof
ChobhamRidges.JamesBond'slastshothadbeenaninnerleft.Notgoodenough.Hetook
anotherglanceattheyellowandbluewindflags.Theywerestreamingacrossrangefrom
theeastrathermorestifflythanwhenhehadbegunhisshoothalfanhourbefore,andhe
settwoclicksmoretotherightonthewindgaugeandtraversedthecrosswiresonthe
sniperscopebacktothepointofaim.Thenhesettledhimself,puthistriggerfingergently
insidetheguardandontothecurveofthetrigger,shallowedhisbreathing,andvery,very
softlysqueezed.Theviciouscrackoftheshotboomedacrosstheemptyrange.Thetarget
disappearedbelowground,andatoncethedummycameupinitsplace.Yes.Theblack
panelwasinthebottomrighthandcornerthistime,notinthebottomleft.Abull'seye.
"Good,"saidthevoiceofthechiefrangeofficerfrombehindandabovehim."Staywith
it."
Thetargetwasalreadyupagain,andBondputhischeekbacktoitswarmpatchonthe
chunkywoodenstockandhiseyetotherubbereyepieceofthescope.Hewipedhisgun
handdownthesideofhistrousersandtookthepistolgripthatjuttedsharplydownbelow
thetriggerguard.Hesplayedhislegsaninchmore.Nowthereweretobefiverounds
rapid.Itwouldbeinterestingtoseeifthatwouldproduce"fade."Heguessednot.This
extraordinaryweaponthearmorerhadsomehowgothishandsongaveonethefeeling
thatastandingmanatamilewouldbeeasymeat.Itwasmostlya.308caliber
InternationalExperimentalTargetriflebuiltbyWinchestertohelpAmericanmarksmenat
WorldChampionships,andithadtheusualgadgetsofsuperaccuratetargetweaponsa
curledaluminumhandatthebackofthebuttthatextendedunderthearmpitandheld
thestockfirmlyintotheshoulder,andanadjustablepinionbelowtherifle'scenterof
gravitytoallowthestocktobenailedintoitsgroovedwoodenrest.Thearmorerhadhad
theusualsingleshotboltactionreplacedbyafiveshotmagazine,andhehadassured
Bondthatifheallowedaslittleastwosecondsbetweenshotstosteadytheweaponthere
wouldbenofadeevenatfivehundredyards.ForthejobthatBondhadtodo,heguessed
thattwosecondsmightbeadangerouslossoftimeifhemissedwithhisfirstshot.
Anyway,M.hadsaidthattherangewouldbenotmorethanthreehundredyards.Bond
wouldcutitdowntoonesecondalmostcontinuousfire.
"Ready?"
"Yes."
"I'llgiveyouacountdownfromfive.Now!Five,four,three,two,one.Fire!"
23

Thegroundshudderedslightlyandtheairsangasthefivewhirlingscrapsofcupronickel
spatoffintothedusk.Thetargetwentdownandquicklyroseagain,decoratedwithfour
smallwhitediscscloselygroupedonthebull'seye.Therewasnofifthdiscnotevena
blackonetoshowaninneroranouter."Thelastroundwaslow,"saidtherangeofficer
loweringhisnightglasses."Thanksforthecontribution.Wesiftthesandonthosebuttsat
theendofeveryyear.Nevergetlessthanfifteentonsofgoodleadandcopperscrapout
ofthem.Goodmoney."
Bondhadgottohisfeet.CorporalMenziesfromthearmorers'sectionappearedfromthe
pavilionoftheGunClubandkneltdowntodismantletheWinchesteranditsrest.He
lookedupatBond.Hesaidwithahintofcriticism,"Youweretakingitabitfast,sir.Last
roundwasboundtojumpwide."
"Iknow,corporal.IwantedtoseehowfastIcouldtakeit.I'mnotblamingtheweapon.It's
ahellofafinejob.Pleasetellthearmorersofromme.NowI'dbettergetmoving.You're
findingyourownwaybacktoLondon,aren'tyou?"
"Yes.Goodnight,sir."
ThechiefrangeofficerhandedBondarecordofhisshoottwosightingshotsandthen
tenroundsateachhundredyardsuptofivehundred."Damnedgoodfiringwiththis
visibility.YououghttocomebacknextyearandhaveabashattheQueen'sPrize.It'sopen
toallcomersnowadaysBritishCommonwealth,thatis."
"Thanks.Troubleis,I'mnotallthatmuchinEngland.Andthanksforspottingforme."
Bondglancedatthedistantclocktower.Oneitherside,thereddangerflagandthered
signaldrumwerecomingdowntoshowthatfiringhadceased.Thehandsstoodatnine
fifteen."I'dliketobuyyouadrink,butI'vegotanappointmentinLondon.Canweholdit
overuntilthatQueen'sPrizeyouweretalkingabout?"
Therangeofficernoddednoncommittally.Hehadbeenlookingforwardtofindingout
moreaboutthismanwhohadappearedoutoftheblueafteraflurryofsignalsfromthe
MinistryofDefenseandhadthenproceededtoscorewelloverninetypercentatall
distances.Andthataftertherangewasclosedforthenightandvisibilitywaspoortobad.
Andwhyhadhe,whoonlyofficiatedattheannualJulymeeting,beenorderedtobe
present?AndwhyhadhebeentoldtoseethatBondhadasixinchbull'seyeatfive
hundredinsteadoftheregulationfifteeninch?Andwhythisflummerywiththedanger
flagandsignaldrumthatwereonlyusedonceremonialoccasions?Toputpressureonthe
man?Togiveanedgeofurgencytotheshoot?Bond.CommanderJamesBond.TheN.R.A.
wouldsurelyhavearecordofanyonewhocouldshootlikethat.He'dremembertogive
themacall.FunnytimetohaveanappointmentinLondon.Probablyagirl.Therange
officer'sundistinguishedfaceassumedadisgruntledexpression.Sortoffellowwhogotall
thegirlshewanted.
ThetwomenwalkedthroughthehandsomefaadeofClubRowbehindtherangeto
Bond'scar,whichstoodoppositethebulletpittedironreproductionofLandseer'sfamous
RunningDeer.

24

"Nicelookingjob,"commentedtherangeofficer."Neverseenabodylikethatona
Continental.Haveitmadespecially?"
"Yes.TheMarkIV'sareanywayreallyonlytwoseaters.Anddamnedlittleluggagespace.
SoIgotMulliner'stomakeitintoarealtwoseaterwithplentyoftrunkspace.Selfishcar
I'mafraid.Well,goodnight.Andthanksagain."Thetwinexhaustsboomedhealthily,and
thebackwheelsbrieflyspatgravel.Thechiefrangeofficerwatchedtherubylightsvanish
upKing'sAvenuetowardtheLondonRoad.Heturnedonhisheelandwenttofind
CorporalMenziesonasearchforinformationthatwastoprovefruitless.Thecorporal
remainedaswoodenasthebigmahoganyboxhewasintheprocessofloadingintoa
khakiLandRoverwithoutmilitarysymbols.Therangeofficerwasamajor.Hetriedpulling
hisrankwithoutsuccess.TheLandRoverhammeredawayinBond'swake.Themajor
walkedmoodilyofftotheofficesoftheNationalRifleAssociationtotryandfindoutwhat
hewantedinthelibraryunder"Bond,J."
JamesBond'sappointmentwasnotwithagirl.ItwaswithaB.E.A.flighttoHanoverand
Berlin.AshebitoffthemilestoLondonAirport,pushingthebigcarhardsoastohave
plentyoftimeforadrink,threedrinks,beforethetakeoff,onlypartofhismindwason
theroad.Therestwasreexamining,fortheumpteenthtime,thesequencethatwasnow
leadinghimtoanappointmentwithanairplane.Butonlyaninterimappointment.His
finalrendezvousononeofthenextthreenightsinBerlinwaswithaman.Hehadtosee
thismanandhehadtobesuretoshoothimdead.
***
When,ataroundtwothirtythatafternoon,JamesBondhadgoneinthroughthedouble
paddeddoorsandhadsatdownoppositetheturnedawayprofileontheothersideofthe
bigdesk,hehadsensedtrouble.Therewasnogreeting.M.'sheadwassunkintohisstiff
turneddowncollarinaChurchillianposeofgloomyreflection,andtherewasadroopof
bitternessatthecornerofhislips.HeswiveledhischairaroundtofaceBond,gavehiman
appraisingglanceasif,Bondthought,toseethathistiewasstraightandhishairproperly
brushed,andthenbeganspeaking,fast,bitingoffhissentencesasifhewantedtoberid
ofwhathewassaying,andofBond,asquicklyaspossible.
"Number272.He'sagoodman.Youwon'thavecomeacrosshim.Simplereasonthathe's
beenholedupinNovayaZemlyasincethewar.Nowhe'stryingtogetoutloadedwith
stuff.Atomicandrockets.Andtheirplanforawholenewseriesoftests.Fornineteen
sixtyone.ToputtheheatontheWest.
SomethingtodowithBerlin.Don'tquitegetthepicture,buttheFOsaysifit'strueit's
terrific.MakesnonsenseoftheGenevaConferenceandallthisblatheraboutnuclear
disarmamenttheCommunistblocisputtingout.He'sgotasfarasEastBerlin.Buthe'sgot
practicallythewholeoftheKGBonhistailandtheEastGermansecurityforcesof
course.He'sholedupsomewhereinEastBerlin,andhegotonemessageovertous.That
he'dbecomingacrossbetweensixandsevenP.M.ononeofthenextthreenights
tomorrow,nextday,ornextday.Hegavethecrossingpoint.Troubleis"thedownward
curveofM.'slipsbecameevenmorebitter"thecourierheusedwasadouble.Station
WBbowledhimoutyesterday.Quitebychance.HadaluckybreakwithoneoftheKGB
25

codes.Thecourier'llbeflownoutfortrial,ofcourse.Butthatwon'thelp.TheKGBknows
that272willbemakingarunforit.Theyknowwhen.Theyknowwhere.Theyknowjustas
muchaswedoandnomore.Now,thecodewecrackedwasaonedayonlysettingon
theirmachines.Butwegotthewholeofthatday'straffic,andthatwasgoodenough.They
plantoshoothimontherun.AtthisstreetcrossingbetweenEastandWestBerlinhegave
usinhismessage.They'remountingquiteanoperationOperationExtase,theycallit.
Puttheirbestsniperonthejob.Allweknowabouthimisthathiscodenameisthe
RussianforTrigger.StationWBguesseshe'sthesamemanthey'veusedbeforeforsniper
work.Longrangestuffacrossthefrontier.He'sgoingtobeguardingthiscrossingevery
night,andhisjobistoget272.Ofcoursethey'dobviouslyprefertodoasmootherjob
withmachinegunsandwhathaveyou.Butit'squietinBerlinatthemoment,and
apparentlythewordisit'sgottostayso.Anyway"M.shrugged"they'vegot
confidenceinthisTriggeroperator,andthat'sthewayit'sgoingtobe!"
"WheredoIcomein,sir?"ButJamesBondhadguessedtheanswer,guessedwhyM.was
showinghisdislikeofthewholebusiness.Thiswasgoingtobedirtywork,andBond,
becausehebelongedtotheDoubleOSection,hadbeenchosenforit.Perversely,Bond
wantedtoforceM.toputitinblackandwhite.Thiswasgoingtobebadnews,dirtynews,
andhedidn'twanttohearitfromoneofthesectionofficers,orevenfromtheChiefof
Staff.Thiswastobemurder.Allright.LetM.bloodywellsayso.
"Wheredoyoucomein,007?"M.lookedcoldlyacrossthedesk."Youknowwhereyou
comein.You'vegottokillthissniper.Andyou'vegottokillhimbeforehegets272.That's
all.Isthatunderstood?"Theclearblueeyesremainedcoldasice.
ButBondknewthattheyremainedsoonlywithaneffortofwill.M.didn'tlikesendingany
mantoakilling.But,whenithadtobedone,healwaysputonthisfierce,coldactof
command.Bondknewwhy.Itwastotakesomeofthepressure,someoftheguilt,offthe
killer'sshoulders.
SonowBond,whoknewthesethings,decidedtomakeiteasyandquickforM.Hegotto
hisfeet."That'sallright,sir.IsupposetheChiefofStaffhasgotallthegen.I'dbettergo
andputinsomepractice.Itwouldn'tdotomiss."Hewalkedtothedoor.
M.saidquietly,"Sorrytohavetohandthistoyou.Nastyjob.Butit'sgottobedonewell."
"I'lldomybest,sir."JamesBondwalkedoutandclosedthedoorbehindhim.Hedidn't
likethejob,butonthewholehe'dratherhaveithimselfthanhavetheresponsibilityof
orderingsomeoneelsetogoanddoit.
TheChiefofStaffhadbeenonlyashademoresympathetic."Sorryyou'veboughtthisone,
James,"hehadsaid."ButTanqueraywasdefinitethathehadn'tgotanyonegoodenough
onhisstation,andthisisn'tthesortofjobyoucanaskaregularsoldiertodo.Plentyof
topmarksmenintheB.A.O.R.,butalivetargetneedsanotherkindofnerve.Anyway,I've
beenontoBisleyandfixedashootforyoutonightateightfifteenwhentherangeswillbe
closed.Visibilityshouldbeaboutthesameasyou'llbegettinginBerlinaroundanhour
earlier.Thearmorer'sgotthegunarealtargetjobandhe'ssendingitdownwithone
ofhismen.You'llfindyourownway.Thenyou'rebookedonamidnightB.E.A.charter
26

flighttoBerlin.Takeataxitothisaddress."HehandedBondapieceofpaper."Goupto
thefourthfloor,andyou'llfindTanqueray'sNumberTwowaitingforyou.ThenI'mafraid
you'lljusthavetosititoutforthenextthreedays."
"Howaboutthegun?AmIsupposedtotakeitthroughtheGermancustomsinagolfbag
orsomething?"
TheChiefofStaffhadn'tbeenamused."It'llgooverintheFOpouch.You'llhaveitby
tomorrowmidday."Hehadreachedforasignalpad."Well,you'dbettergetcracking.I'll
justletTanquerayknoweverything'sfixed."
JamesBondglanceddownatthedimbluefaceofthedashboardclock.Tenfifteen.With
anyluck,bythistimetomorrowitwouldallbefinished.Afterall,itwasthelifeofthisman
Triggeragainstthelifeof272.Itwasn'texactlymurder.Prettynearit,though.Hegavea
viciousblastonhistriplewindhornsataninoffensivefamilysaloon,tooktheroundabout
inaquiteunnecessarydryskid,wrenchedthewheelharshlytocorrectit,andpointedthe
noseoftheBentleytowardthedistantglowthatwasLondonAirport.
***
TheuglysixstorybuildingatthecorneroftheKochstrasseandtheWilhelmstrassewas
theonlyonestandinginawasteofemptybombedspace.Bondpaidoffhistaxiandgota
briefimpressionoftheneighborhoodwaisthighweedsandhalftidiedrubblewalls
stretchingawaytoabigdesertedcrossroadslitbyacentralclusterofyellowisharclamps
beforehepushedthebellforthefourthfloorandatonceheardtheclickofthedoor
opener.Thedoorcloseditselfbehindhim,andhewalkedovertheuncarpetedcement
floortotheoldfashionedlift.Thesmellofcabbage,cheapcigarsmoke,andstalesweat
remindedhimofotherapartmenthousesinGermanyandCentralEurope.Eventhesigh
andfaintsquealoftheslowliftwerepartofahundredassignmentswhenhehadbeen
firedoffbyM.,likeaprojectile,atsomedistanttargetwhereaproblemwaitedforhis
coming,waitedtobesolvedbyhim.Atleastthistimethereceptioncommitteewasonhis
side.Thistimetherewasnothingtofearatthetopofthestairs.
NumberTwoofSecretServiceStationWBwasalean,tensemaninhisearlyforties.He
woretheuniformofhisprofessionwellcut,wellused,lightweighttweedsinadark
greenherringbone,asoftwhitesilkshirt,andanoldschooltie(inhiscaseWykehamist).
Atthesightofthetie,andwhiletheyexchangedconventionalgreetingsinthesmallmusty
lobbyoftheapartment,Bond'sspirits,alreadylow,sankanotherdegree.Heknewthe
typebackboneofthecivilservice...overcrammedandunderlovedatWinchester...a
goodsecondinP.P.E.atOxford...thewar,staffjobshewouldhavedonemeticulously
perhapsanO.B.E...AlliedControlCommissioninGermanywherehehadbeenrecruited
intotheIBranch...AndthencebecausehewastheidealstaffmanandAonewith
Security,andbecausehethoughthewouldfindlife,drama,romancethethingshehad
neverhadintotheSecretService.Asober,carefulmanhadbeenneededtochaperone
Bondonthisuglybusiness.CaptainPaulSender,lateoftheWelshGuards,hadbeenthe
obviouschoice.Hehadboughtit.Now,likeagoodWykehamist,heconcealedhisdistaste
forthejobbeneathcareful,triteconversationasheshowedBondthelayoutofthe

27

apartmentandthearrangementsthathadbeenmadefortheexecutioner'spreparedness
and,toamodestextent,hiscomfort.
Theflatconsistedofalargedoublebedroom,abathroom,andakitchencontainingtinned
food,milk,butter,eggs,bread,andonebottleofDimpleHaig.Theonlyoddfeatureinthe
bedroomwasthatoneofthedoublebedswasangledupagainstthecurtainscoveringthe
singlebroadwindowandwaspiledhighwiththreemattressesbelowthebedclothes.
CaptainSendersaid,"Caretohavealookatthefieldoffire?ThenIcanexplainwhatthe
othersidehasinmind."
Bondwastired.Hedidn'tparticularlywanttogotosleepwiththepictureofthe
battlefieldonhismind.Buthesaid,"That'dbefine."
CaptainSenderswitchedoffthelights.Chinksfromthestreetlightattheintersection
showedroundthecurtains."Don'twanttodrawthecurtains,"saidCaptainSender.
"Unlikely,buttheymaybeonthelookoutforacoveringpartyfor272.Ifyou'djustlieon
thebedandgetyourheadunderthecurtains,I'llbriefyouaboutwhatyou'llbelookingat.
Looktotheleft."
Itwasasashwindow,andthebottomhalfwasopen.Themattresses,bydesign,gaveonly
alittle,andJamesBondfoundhimselfmoreorlessinthefiringpositionhehadbeeninon
theCenturyRange.Butnowhewasstaringacrossbroken,thicklyweededbombedground
towardthebrightriveroftheZirnmerstrassetheborderwithEastBerlin.Itlooked
aboutahundredandfiftyyardsaway.CaptainSender'svoicefromabovehimandbehind
thecurtainbeganreciting.ItremindedBondofaspiritualistsance.
"That'sbombedgroundinfrontofyou.Plentyofcover.Ahundredandthirtyyardsofitup
tothefrontier.Thenthefrontierthestreetandthenabigstretchofmorebombed
groundontheenemyside.That'swhy272chosethisroute.It'soneofthefewplacesin
thetownwhichisbrokenlandthickweeds,ruinedwalls,cellarsonbothsidesofthe
frontier...272willsneakthroughthatmessontheotherside,andmakeadashacrossthe
Zirnmerstrasseforthemessonourside.Troubleis,he'llhavethirtyyardsofbrightlylit
frontiertosprintacross.That'llbethekillingground.Right?"
Bondsaid,"Yes."Hesaiditsoftly.Thescentoftheenemy,theneedtotakecare,already
hadhimbythenerves.
"Toyourleft,thatbignewtenstoryblockistheHausderMinisterien,thechiefbrain
centerofEastBerlin.Youcanseethelightsarestilloninmostofthewindows.Mostof
thosewillstayonallnight.Thesechapsworkhardshiftsallroundtheclock.You
probablywon'tneedtoworryaboutthelightedones.ThisTriggerchapwillalmost
certainlyfirefromoneofthedarkwindows.You'llseethere'sablockoffourtogetheron
thecornerabovetheintersection.They'vestayeddarklastnightandtonight.
They'vegotthebestfieldoffire.Fromhere,theirrangevariesfromthreehundredto
threehundredandtenyards.I'vegotallthefiguresandsoonwhenyouwantthem.You
needn'tworryaboutmuchelse.Thatstreetstaysemptyduringthenightonlythe
28

motorizedpatrolsabouteveryhalfanhour.Lightarmoredcarwithacoupleof
motorcyclesasescort.Lastnight,whichIsupposeistypical,betweensixandsevenwhen
thisthing'sgoingtobedone,therewereafewpeoplethatcameandwentoutofthatside
door.Civilservanttypes.Beforethatnothingoutoftheordinaryusualflowofpeoplein
andoutofabusygovernmentbuilding,except,ofallthings,awholedamnedwoman's
orchestra.Madeahellofaracketinsomeconcerthallthey'vegotinthere.Partofthe
blockistheMinistryofCulture.OtherwisenothingcertainlynoneoftheKGBpeoplewe
know,oranysignsofpreparationforajoblikethis.Buttherewouldn'tbe.They'recareful
chaps,theopposition.Anyway,haveagoodlook.Don'tforgetit'sdarkerthanitwillbe
tomorrowaroundsix.Butyoucangetthegeneralpicture."
Bondgotthegeneralpicture,anditstayedwithhimlongaftertheothermanwasasleep
andsnoringsoftlywithagentleregularclickingsound.AWykehamistsnore,Bond
reflectedirritably.Yes,hehadgotthepicture.Thepictureofaflickerofmovementamong
theshadowyruinsontheothersideofthegleamingriveroflight,apause,thewild
zigzaggingsprintofamaninthefullglareofthearcs,thecrashofgunfireandthen
eitheracrumpled,sprawlingheapinthemiddleofthewidestreetorthenoiseofhis
onwarddashthroughtheweedsandrubbleoftheWesternSector.Suddendeathora
homerun.Thetruegauntlet!HowmuchtimewouldBondhavetospottheRussiansniper
inoneofthosedarkwindows?Andkillhim?Fiveseconds?Ten?Whendawnedgedthe
curtainswithgunmetal,Bondcapitulatedtohisfrettingmind.Ithadwon.Hewentsoftly
intothebathroomandsurveyedtheranksofmedicinebottlesthatathoughtfulSecret
Servicehadprovidedtokeepitsexecutioneringoodshape.HeselectedtheTuinal,chased
downtwooftherubyandbluedepthchargeswithaglassofwater,andwentbacktobed.
Then,poleaxed,heslept.
Heawokeatmidday.Theflatwasempty.Bonddrewthecurtainstoletinthegray
Prussianday,and,standingwellbackfromthewindow,gazedoutatthedrabnessof
Berlin,andlistenedtothetramnoisesandtothedistantscreechingoftheUBahnasit
tookthebigcurveintotheZooStation.Hegaveaquick,reluctantglanceatwhathehad
examinedthenightbefore,notedthattheweedsamongthebombrubbleweremuchthe
sameastheLondononescampion,dock,andbrackenandthenwentintothe
kitchen.
Therewasanoteproppedagainstaloafofbread:"Myfriend[aSecretServiceeuphemism
thatinthiscontextmeantSender'schief]saysit'sallrightforyoutogoout.Buttobeback
by1700hours.Yourgear[doubletalkforBond'srifle]hasarrivedandthebatmanwilllayit
outthisP.M.P.Sender."
Bondlitthegascooker,andwithasneerathisprofession,burnedthemessage.Thenhe
brewedhimselfavastdishofscrambledeggsandbacon,whichheheapedonbuttered
toastandwasheddownwithblackcoffeeintowhichhehadpouredaliberaltotof
whiskey.Thenhebathedandshaved,dressedinthedrab,anonymous,middleEuropean
clotheshehadbroughtoverforthepurpose,lookedathisdisorderedbed,decidedtohell
withit,andwentdownintheliftandoutofthebuilding.
JamesBondhadalwaysfoundBerlinaglum,inimicalcity,varnishedontheWesternside
withabrittleveneerofgimcrackpolishratherlikethechromiumtrimonAmerican
motorcars.HewalkedtotheKurfrstendammandsatintheCafMarquardtanddrankan
29

espressoandmoodilywatchedtheobedientqueuesofpedestrianswaitingfortheGosign
onthetrafficlightswhiletheshinystreamofcarswentthroughtheirdangerousquadrille
atthebusyintersection.ItwascoldoutsideandthesharpwindfromtheRussiansteppes
whippedatthegirls'skirtsandatthewaterproofsoftheimpatienthurryingmen,each
withtheinevitablebriefcasetuckedunderhisarm.Theinfraredwallheatersinthecafe
glaredredlydownandgaveaspuriousglowtothefacesofthecafesquatters,consuming
theirtraditional"onecupofcoffeeandtenglassesofwater,"readingthefreenewspapers
andperiodicalsintheirwoodenracks,earnestlybendingoverbusinessdocuments.Bond,
closinghismindtotheevening,debatedwithhimselfaboutwaystospendtheafternoon.
Itfinallycamedowntoachoicebetweenavisittothatrespectablelookingbrownstone
houseintheClausewitzstrasseknowntoallconciergesandtaxidriversandatriptothe
WannseeandastrenuouswalkintheGrunewald.Virtuetriumphed.Bondpaidforhis
coffeeandwentoutintothecoldandtookataxitotheZooStation.
Theprettyyoungtreesroundthelonglakehadalreadybeentouchedbythebreathof
autumn,andtherewasoccasionalgoldamongstthegreen.Bondwalkedhardfortwo
hoursalongtheleafypaths,thenchosearestaurantwithaglassedinverandaabovethe
lakeandgreatlyenjoyedahighteaconsistingofadoubleportionofMatjeshering,
smotheredincreamandonionrings,andtwoMollemitKorn.(ThisBerlinequivalentofa
boilermakerandhisassistantwasaschnapps,double,washeddownwithdraught
Lwenbru.)Then,feelingmoreencouraged,hetooktheSBahnbackintothecity.
Outsidetheapartmenthouse,anondescriptyoungmanwastinkeringwiththeengineofa
blackOpelKapitan.Hedidn'ttakehisheadoutfromunderthebonnetwhenBondpassed
closebyhimandwentuptothedoorandpressedthebell.
CaptainSenderwasreassuring.Itwasa"friend"acorporalfromthetransportsection
ofStationWB.HehadfixedupsomebadenginetroubleontheOpel.Eachnight,fromsix
toseven,hewouldbereadytoproduceaseriesofmultiplebackfireswhenasignalona
walkietalkieoperatedbySendertoldhimtodoso.Thiswouldgivesomekindofcoverfor
thenoiseofBond'sshooting.Otherwise,theneighborhoodmightalertthepoliceand
therewouldbealotofuntidyexplainingtobedone.TheirhideoutwasintheAmerican
Sector,andwhiletheirAmerican"friends"hadgivenStationWBclearanceforthis
operation,the"friends"werenaturallyanxiousthatitshouldbeacleanjobandwithout
repercussions.
Bondwassuitablyimpressedbythecargimmick,ashewasbytheveryworkmanlike
preparationsthathadbeenmadeforhiminthelivingroom.Here,behindtheheadofhis
highbed,givingaperfectfiringposition,awoodandmetalstandhadbeenerected
againstthebroadwindowsill,andalongitlaytheWinchester,thetipofitsbarreljust
dentingthecurtains.Thewoodandallthemetalpartsoftherifleandsniperscopehad
beenpaintedadullblack,and,laidoutonthebedlikesinistereveningclothes,wasablack
velvethoodstitchedtoawaistlengthshirtofthesamematerial.Thehoodhadwideslits
fortheeyesandmouth.ItremindedBondofoldprintsoftheSpanishInquisitionorofthe
anonymousoperatorsontheguillotineplatformduringtheFrenchRevolution.Therewas
asimilarhoodonCaptainSender'sbed,andonhissectionofthewindowsilltherelaya
pairofnightglassesandthemicrophoneforthewalkietalkie.

30

CaptainSender,hisfaceworriedandtensewithnerves,saidtherewasnonewsatthe
Station,nochangeinthesituationastheyknewit.DidBondwantanythingtoeat?Ora
cupoftea?Perhapsatranquilizertherewereseveralkindsinthebathroom?
Bondstitchedacheerful,relaxedexpressiononhisfaceandsaidnothanks,andgavea
lightheartedaccountofhisdaywhileanarterynearhissolarplexusbeganthumping
gentlyastensionbuiltupinsidehimlikeawatchspringtightening.Finallyhissmalltalk
peteredoutandhelaydownonhisbedwithaGermanthrillerhehadboughtonhis
wanderings,whileCaptainSendermovedfretfullyabouttheflat,lookingtoooftenathis
watchandchainsmokingKentfiltertipsthrough(hewasacarefulman)aDunhillfiltered
cigaretteholder.
JamesBond'schoiceofreadingmatter,promptedbyaspectacularjacketofahalfnaked
girlstrappedtoabed,turnedouttohavebeenahappyonefortheoccasion.Itwascalled
Verderbt,Verdammt,Verraten.Theprefixversignifiedthatthegirlhadnotonlybeen
ruined,damned,andbetrayed,butthatshehadsufferedthesemisfortunesmost
thoroughly.JamesBondtemporarilylosthimselfinthetribulationsoftheheroine,Grfin
LiselotteMutzenbacher,anditwaswithirritationthatheheardCaptainSendersaythatit
wasfivethirtyandtimetotakeuptheirpositions.
Bondtookoffhiscoatandtie,puttwosticksofchewingguminhismouth,anddonned
thehood.ThelightswereswitchedoffbyCaptainSender,andBondlayalongthebed,got
hiseyetotheeyepieceofthesniperscope,andgentlyliftedthebottomedgeofthe
curtainbackandoverhisshoulders.
Nowduskwasapproaching,butotherwisethescene(ayearlatertobecomefamousas
CheckpointCharlie)waslikeawellrememberedphotographthewastelandinfrontof
him,thebrightriverofthefrontierroad,thefurtherwasteland,and,ontheleft,theugly
squareblockoftheHausderMinisterienwithitslitanddarkwindows.Bondscanneditall
slowly,movingthesniperscope,withtherifle,bymeansoftheprecisionscrewsonthe
woodenbase.Itwasallthesameexceptthatnowtherewasatrickleofpersonnelleaving
andenteringtheHausderMinisterienthroughthedoorontotheWilhelmstrasse.Bond
lookedlongatthefourdarkwindowsdarkagaintonightthatheagreedwithSender
weretheenemy'sfiringpoints.Thecurtainsweredrawnback,andthesashwindowswere
wideopenatthebottom.Bond'sscopecouldnotpenetrateintotherooms,buttherewas
nosignofmovementwithinthefouroblongblackgapingmouths.
Nowtherewasextratrafficinthestreetbelowthewindows.Thewoman'sorchestracame
troopingdownthepavementtowardtheentrance.Twentylaughing,talkinggirlscarrying
theirinstrumentsviolinandwindinstrumentcases,satchelswiththeirscoresand
fourofthemwiththedrums.Agay,happylittlecrocodile.Bondwasreflectingthatsome
peoplestillseemedtofindlifefunintheSovietSector,whenhisglassespickedoutand
stayedonthegirlcarryingthecello.Bond'smasticatingjawsstoppedstill,andthen
reflectivelywentonwiththeirchewingashetwistedthescrewtodepressthesniperscope
andkeepherinitscenter.
Thegirlwastallerthantheothers,andherlong,straight,fairhair,fallingtohershoulders,
shonelikemoltengoldunderthearcsattheintersection.Shewashurryingalongina
31

charming,excitedway,carryingthecellocaseasifitwerenoheavierthanaviolin.
Everythingwasflyingtheskirtofhercoat,herfeet,herhair.Shewasvividwith
movementandlifeand,itseemed,withgaietyandhappinessasshechatteredtothetwo
girlswhoflankedherandlaughedbackatwhatshewassaying.Assheturnedinatthe
entranceamidsthertroupe,thearcsmomentarilycaughtabeautiful,paleprofile.And
thenshewasgone,and,itseemedtoBond,thatwithherdisappearance,astabofgrief
lancedintohisheart.Howodd!Howveryodd!Thishadnothappenedtohimsincehewas
young.Andnowthissinglegirl,seenonlyindistinctlyandfaraway,hadcausedhimto
sufferthissharppangoflonging,thisthrillofanimalmagnetism!Morosely,Bondglanced
downattheluminousdialofhiswatch.Fivefifty.Onlytenminutestogo.Notransport
arrivingattheentrance.NoneofthoseanonymousblackZiksaloonshehadhalfexpected.
Heclosedasmuchofhismindashecouldtothegirlandsharpenedhiswits.Geton,damn
you!Getbacktoyourjob!
FromsomewhereinsidetheHausderMinisterientherecamethefamiliarsoundsofan
orchestratuningupthestringstuningtheirinstrumentstosinglenotesonthepiano,
thesharpblareofindividualwoodwindsthenapause,andthenthecollectivecrashof
melodyasthewholeorchestrathrewitselfcompetently,sofarasBondcouldjudge,into
theopeningbarsofwhateventoJamesBondwasvaguelyfamiliar.
"Moussorgsky'sOverturetoBorisGodunov,"saidCaptainSendersuccinctly."Anyway,six
o'clockcomingup."Andthen,urgently,"Hey!Righthandbottomofthefourwindows!
Watchout!"
Bonddepressedthesniperscope.Yes,therewasmovementinsidetheblackcave.Now,
fromtheinterior,athickblackobject,aweapon,hadslidout.Itmovedfirmly,minutely,
swivelingdownandsidewayssoastocoverthestretchoftheZimmerstrassebetweenthe
twowastelandsofrubble.Thentheunseenoperatorintheroombehindseemedsatisfied,
andtheweaponremainedstill,fixedobviouslytosuchastandasBondhadbeneathhis
rifle.
"Whatisit?Whatsortofgun?"CaptainSender'svoicewasmorebreathlessthanitshould
havebeen.Takeiteasy,dammit!thoughtBond.It'smewho'ssupposedtohavethe
nerves.
Hestrainedhiseyes,takinginthesquatflasheliminatoratthemuzzle,thetelescopic
sight,andthethickdownwardchunkofmagazine.Yes,thatwouldbeit!Absolutelyfor
sureandthebesttheyhad!"Kalashnikov,"hesaidcurtly."Submachinegun.Gas
operated.Thirtyroundsinsevensixtytwomillimeter.FavoritewiththeKGB.They're
goingtodoasaturationjobafterall.Perfectforrange.We'llhavetogethimprettyquick,
or272willendupnotjustdeadbutstrawberryjam.Youkeepaneyeoutforany
movementoverthereintherubble.I'llhavetostaymarriedtothatwindowandthegun.
He'llhavetoshowhimselftofire.Otherchapsareprobablyspottingbehindhim
perhapsfromallfourwindows.Muchthesortofsetupweexpected,butIdidn'tthink
they'duseaweaponthat'sgoingtomakealltheracketthisonewill.Shouldhaveknown
theywould.Arunningmanwillbehardtogetinthislightwithasingleshotjob."

32

Bondfiddledminutelywiththetraversingandelevatingscrewsathisfingertipsandgot
thefinelinesofthescopeexactlyintersected,justbehindwherethebuttoftheenemy
gunmergedintotheblacknessbehind.Getthechestdon'tbotheraboutthehead!
Insidethehood,Bond'sfacebegantosweatandhiseyesocketwasslipperyagainstthe
rubberoftheeyepiece.Thatdidn'tmatter.Itwasonlyhishands,histriggerfinger,that
muststaybonedry.Astheminutestickedby,hefrequentlyblinkedhiseyestorestthem,
shiftedhislimbstokeepthemsupple,listenedtothemusictorelaxhismind.
Theminutesslouchedonleadenfeet.Howoldwouldshebe?Earlytwenties?Saytwenty
three?Withthatpoiseandinsouciance,thehintofauthorityinherlongeasystride,she
wouldcomeofgoodracystockoneoftheoldPrussianfamiliesprobablyorfromsimilar
remnantsinPolandorevenRussia.Whyinhelldidshehavetochoosethecello?There
wassomethingalmostindecentintheideaofthisbulbous,ungainlyinstrumentbetween
hersplayedthighs.OfcourseSuggiahadmanagedtolookelegant,andsodidthatgirl
Amaryllissomebody.Buttheyshouldinventawayforwomentoplaythedamnedthing
sidesaddle.
FromhissideCaptainSendersaid,"Seveno'clock.Nothing'sstirredontheotherside.Bit
ofmovementonourside,nearacellarclosetothefrontier.That'llbeourreception
committeetwogoodmenfromtheStation.Betterstaywithituntiltheyclosedown.
Letmeknowwhentheytakethatgunin."
"Allright."
ItwasseventhirtywhentheKGBsubmachinegunwasgentlydrawnbackintotheblack
interior.Onebyonethebottomsashesofthefourwindowswereclosed.Thecoldhearted
gamewasoverforthenight.272wasstillholedup.Twomorenightstogo!Bondsoftly
drewthecurtainoverhisshouldersandacrossthemuzzleoftheWinchester.Hegotup,
pulledoffhiscowl,andwentintothebathroom,wherehestrippedandhadashower.
Thenhehadtwolargewhiskeysontherocksinquicksuccession,whilehewaited,hisears
pricked,forthenowmuffledsoundoftheorchestratostop.
Ateighto'clockitdid,withtheexpertcommentfromSender"Borodin'sPrinceIgor,
ChoralDanceNumber17,Ithink."whohadbeengettingoffhisreportingarbled
languagetotheHeadofStation.
"Justgoingtohaveanotherlook.I'verathertakentothattallblondewiththecello,"Bond
saidtoSender.
"Didn'tnoticeher,"saidSender,uninterested.Hewentintothekitchen.Tea,guessed
Bond.OrperhapsHorlick's.Bonddonnedhiscowl,wentbacktohisfiringposition,and
depressedthesniperscopetothedoorwayoftheHausderMinisterien.Yes,therethey
went,notsogayandlaughingnow.Tiredperhaps.Andnowhereshecame,lesslively,but
stillwiththatbeautifulcarelessstride.Bondwatchedtheblowngoldenhairandthefawn
raincoatuntilithadvanishedintotheindigoduskuptheWilhelmstrasse.Wheredidshe
live?Insomemiserableflakedroominthesuburbs?Orinoneoftheprivileged
apartmentsinthehideouslavatorytiledStalinallee?Bonddrewhimselfback.Somewhere,
33

withineasyreach,thatgirllived.Wasshemarried?Didshehavealover?Anyway,tohell
withit!Shewasnotforhim.
***
Thenextday,andthenextnightwatch,wereduplicates,withsmallvariations,ofthefirst.
JamesBondhadhistwomorebriefrendezvous,bysniperscope,withthegirl,andtherest
wasakillingoftimeandatighteningofthetensionthat,bythetimethethirdandfinal
daycame,waslikeafoginthesmallroom.JamesBondcrammedthethirddaywithan
almostlunaticprogramofmuseums,artgalleries,thezoo,andafilm,hardlyperceiving
anythinghelookedat,hismind'seyedividedbetweenthegirlandthosefourblack
squaresandtheblacktubeandtheunknownmanbehinditthemanhewasnow
certainlygoingtokilltonight.
Backpunctuallyatfiveintheapartment,BondnarrowlyavertedarowwithCaptain
Senderbecause,thatevening,Bondtookastiffdrinkofthewhiskeybeforehedonnedthe
hideouscowlthatnowstankofhissweat.CaptainSenderhadtriedtopreventhim,and
whenhefailed,hadthreatenedtocallupHeadofStationandreportBondforbreaking
training.
"Look,myfriend,"saidBondwearily,"I'vegottocommitamurdertonight.Notyou.Me.
Sobeagoodchapandstuffit,wouldyou?YoucantellTanquerayanythingyoulikewhen
it'sover.ThinkIlikethisjob?HavingaDoubleOnumberandsoon?I'dbequitehappyfor
youtogetmesackedfromtheDoubleOSection.ThenIcouldsettledownandmakea
snugnestofpapersasanordinarystaffer.Right?"Bonddrankdownhiswhiskey,reached
forhisthrillernowarrivingatanappallingclimaxandthrewhimselfonthebed.
CaptainSender,icilysilent,wentoffintothekitchentobrew,fromthesounds,his
inevitablecuppa.Bondfeltthewhiskeybeginningtomeltthecoilednervesinhisstomach.
Nowthen,Liselotte,howinhellareyougoingtogetoutofthisfix?
ItwasexactlysixfivewhenSender,athispost,begantalkingexcitedly."Bond,there's
somethingmovingwaybackoverthere.Nowhe'sstoppedwait,no,he'sonthemove
again,keepinglow.There'sabitofbrokenwallthere.He'llbeoutofsightofthe
opposition.Butthickweeds,yardsofthem,aheadofhim.Christ!He'scomingthroughthe
weeds.Andthey'removing.HopetoGodtheythinkit'sonlythewind.Nowhe'sthrough
andgonetoground.Anyreaction?"
"No,"saidBondtensely."Keepontellingme.Howfartothefrontier?"
"He'sonlygotaboutfiftyyardstogo,"CaptainSender'svoicewasharshwithexcitement.
"Brokenstuff,butsomeofit'sopen.Thenasolidchunkofwallrightupagainstthe
pavement.He'llhavetogetoverit.Theycan'tfailtospothimthen.Now!Nowhe'smade
tenyards,andanotherten.Gothimclearlythen.Blackenedhisfaceandhands.Getready!
Anymomentnowhe'llmakethelastsprint."
JamesBondfeltthesweatpouringdownhisfaceandneck.Hetookachanceandquickly
wipedhishandsdownhissidesandthengotthembacktotherifle,hisfingerinsidethe
34

guard,justlyingalongthecurvedtrigger."There'ssomethingmovingintheroombehind
thegun.Theymusthavespottedhim.GetthatOpelworking."
Bondheardthecodewordgointothemicrophone,heardtheOpelinthestreetbelow
startup,felthispulsequickenastheengineleapedintolifeandaseriesofearsplitting
crackscamefromtheexhaust.Themovementintheblackcavewasnowdefinite.Ablack
armwithablackglovehadreachedoutandunderthestock.
"Now!"calledoutCaptainSender."Now!He'srunforthewall!He'supit!Justgoingto
jump!"
Andthen,inthesniperscope,BondsawtheheadofTriggerthepurityoftheprofile,the
goldenbellofhairalllaidoutalongthestockoftheKalashnikov!Shewasdead,asitting
duck!Bond'sfingersflasheddowntothescrews,inchedthemround,andasyellowflame
flutteredatthesnoutofthesubmachinegun,squeezedthetrigger.
Thebullet,deadonatthreehundredandtenyards,musthavehitwherethestockended
upthebarrel,mighthavegotherinthelefthandbuttheeffectwastotearthegunoff
itsmountings,smashitagainstthesideofthewindowframe,andthenhurlitoutofthe
window.Itturnedseveraltimesonitswaydownandcrashedintothemiddleofthe
street.
"He'sover!"shoutedCaptainSender."He'sover!He'sdoneit!MyGod,he'sdoneit!"
"Getdown!"saidBondsharply,andthrewhimselfsidewaysoffthebedasthebigeyeofa
searchlightinoneoftheblackwindowsblazedon,swervingupthestreettowardtheir
blockandtheirroom.Thengunfirecrashed,andthebulletshowledintotheirwindow,
rippingthecurtains,smashingthewoodwork,thuddingintothewalls.
Behindtheroarandzingofthebullets,BondheardtheOpelraceoffdownthestreet,and,
behindthatagain,thefragmentarywhisperoftheorchestra.Thecombinationofthetwo
backgroundnoisesclicked.Ofcourse!Theorchestra,thatmusthaveraisedaninfernaldin
throughouttheofficesandcorridorsoftheHausderMinisterien,was,asontheirsidethe
backfiringOpel,designedtoprovidesomecoverforthesharpburstoffirefromTrigger.
Hadshecarriedherweapontoandfroeverydayinthatcellocase?Wasthewhole
orchestracomposedofKGBwomen?Hadtheotherinstrumentcasescontainedonly
equipmentthebigdrumperhapsthesearchlightwhiletherealinstrumentswere
availableintheconcerthall?Tooelaborate?Toofantastic?Probably.
Buttherehadbeennodoubtaboutthegirl.Inthesniperscope,Bondhadevenbeenable
toseeonewide,heavilylashed,aimingeye.Hadhehurther?Almostcertainlyherleft
arm.Therewouldbenochanceofseeingher,seeinghowshewas,ifsheleftwiththe
orchestra.Nowhewouldneverseeheragain.Bond'swindowwouldbeadeathtrap.To
underlinethefact,astraybulletsmashedintothemechanismoftheWinchester,already
overturnedanddamaged,andhotleadsplasheddownonBond'shand,burningtheskin.
OnBond'semphaticoath,thefiringstoppedabruptlyandsilencesangintheroom.

35

CaptainSenderemergedfrombesidehisbed,brushingglassoutofhishair.Bondand
Sendercrunchedacrossthefloorandthroughthesplintereddoorintothekitchen.Here,
becausetheroomfacedawayfromthestreet,itwassafetoswitchonthelight.
"Anydamage?"askedBond.
"No.Youallright?"CaptainSender'spaleeyeswerebrightwiththefeverthatcomesin
battle.Theyalso,Bondnoticed,heldasharpglintofaccusation.
"Yes.JustgetanElastoplastformyhand.Caughtasplashfromoneofthebullets."Bond
wentintothebathroom.Whenhecameout,CaptainSenderwassittingbythewalkie
talkiehehadfetchedfromthesittingroom.Hewasspeakingintoit.Nowhesaidintothe
microphone,"That'sallfornow.Fineabout272.Hurrythearmoredcar,ifyouwould.Be
gladtogetoutofhere,and007willneedtowritehisversionofwhathappened.Okay?
Thenoverandout."
CaptainSenderturnedtoBond.Halfaccusing,halfembarrassedhesaid,"AfraidHeadof
Stationneedsyourreasonsinwritingfornotgettingthatchap.IhadtotellhimI'dseen
youalteryouraimatthelastsecond.GaveTriggertimetogetoffaburst.Damnedlucky
for272he'djustbegunhissprint.Blewchunksoffthewallbehindhim.Whatwasitall
about?"
JamesBondknewhecouldlie,knewhecouldfakeadozenreasonswhy.Insteadhetooka
deeppullatthestrongwhiskeyhehadpouredforhimself,puttheglassdown,andlooked
CaptainSenderstraightintheeye.
"Triggerwasawoman."
"Sowhat?KGBhasgotplentyofwomenagentsandwomengunners.I'mnotinthe
leastsurprised.TheRussianwoman'steamalwaysdoeswellintheWorldChampionships.
Lastmeeting,inMoscow,theycamefirst,second,andthirdagainstseventeencountries.I
canevenremembertwooftheirnamesDonskayaandLomova.Terrificshots.Shemay
evenhavebeenoneofthem.Whatdidshelooklike?Records'llprobablybeabletoturn
herup."
"Shewasablonde.Shewasthegirlwhocarriedthecellointhatorchestra.Probablyhad
herguninthecellocase.Theorchestrawastocoveruptheshooting."
"Oh!"saidCaptainSenderslowly."Isee.Thegirlyouwerekeenon?"
"That'sright."
"Well,I'msorry,butI'llhavetoputthatinmyreporttoo.Youhadclearordersto
exterminateTrigger."Therecamethesoundofacarapproaching.Itpulledupsomewhere
below.Thebellrangtwice.Sendersaid,"Well,let'sgetgoing.They'vesentanarmoredcar
togetusoutofhere."Hepaused.HiseyesflickedoverBond'sshoulder,avoidingBond's
eyes."Sorryaboutthereport.Gottodomyduty,y'know.Youshouldhavekilledthat
sniperwhoeveritwas."
36

Bondgotup.Hesuddenlydidn'twanttoleavethestinkinglittlesmashedupflat,leavethe
placefromwhich,forthreedays,hehadhadthislongrange,onesidedromancewithan
unknowngirlanunknownenemyagentwithmuchthesamejobinheroutfitashehad
inhis.Poorlittlebitch!Shewouldbeinworsetroublenowthanhewas!She'dcertainlybe
courtmartialedformuffingthisjob.ProbablybekickedoutoftheKGB.Heshrugged.At
leastthey'dstopshortofkillingherashehimselfhaddone.JamesBondsaidwearily,
"Okay.Withanyluckit'llcostmemyDoubleOnumber.ButtellHeadofStationnotto
worry.Thatgirlwon'tdoanymoresniping.Probablylostherlefthand.Certainlybrokeher
nerveforthatkindofwork.Scaredthelivingdaylightsoutofher.Inmybook,thatwas
enough.Let'sgo."

37

38

ThePropertyOfALady
Itwas,exceptionally,ahotdayinearlyJune.JamesBondputdownthedarkgraychalk
pencilthatwasthemarkerforthedocketsroutedtotheDoubleOSectionandtookoffhis
coat.Hedidn'tbothertohangitoverthebackofhischair,letalonetakethetroubletoget
upanddrapethecoatoverthehangerMaryGoodnighthadsuspended,atherowncost
(damnwomen!),behindtheOfficeofWorks'greendoorofhisconnectingoffice.He
droppedthecoatonthefloor.Therewasnoreasontokeepthecoatimmaculate,the
creasestidy.Therewasnosignofanyworktobedone.Allovertheworldtherewasquiet.
TheInandOutsignalshad,forweeks,beenroutine.ThedailytopsecretSITREP,eventhe
newspapers,yawnedvacuouslyinthelattercasescratchingsatdomesticscandalsfor
readership,forbadnews,theonlynewsthatmakessuchsheetsreadable,whethertop
secretoronsaleforpennies.Bondhatedtheseperiodsofvacuum.Hiseyes,hismind,
werebarelyinfocusasheturnedthepagesofajawbreakingdissertationbytheScientific
ResearchStationontheRussianuseofcyanidegas,propelledbythecheapestbulb
handledchildren'swaterpistol,forassassination.Thespray,itseemed,directedatthe
face,tookinstantaneouseffect.Itwasrecommendedforvictimsfrom25yearsupwards,
onascendingstairwaysorinclines.Theverdictwouldthenprobablybeheartfailure.
TheharshburroftheredtelephonesprayedintotheroomsosuddenlythatJamesBond,
hismindelsewhere,reachedhishandautomaticallytowardshisleftarmpitinself
defense.Theedgesofhismouthturneddownasherecognizedthereflex.Onthesecond
burrhepickedupthereceiver.
"Sir?"
"Sir."
Hegotupfromhischairandpickeduphiscoat.Heputonthecoatandatthesametime
putonhismind.Hehadbeendozinginhisbunk.Nowhehadtogouponthebridge.He
walkedthroughintotheconnectingofficeandresistedtheimpulsetoruffleuptheinviting
napeofMaryGoodnight'sgoldenneck.Hetoldher"M."andwalkedoutintotheclose
carpetedcorridorandalong,betweenthemutedwhizzandzingoftheCommunications
Section,ofwhichhisSectionwasaneighbor,totheliftanduptotheeighth.
Miss.Moneypenny'sexpressionconveyednothing.Itusuallyconveyedsomethingifshe
knewsomethingprivateexcitement,curiosity,or,ifBondwasintrouble,
encouragementorevenanger.Nowthesmileofwelcomeshoweddisinterest.Bond
registeredthatthiswasgoingtobesomekindofaroutinejob,abore,andheadjustedhis
entrancethroughthatfatefuldooraccordingly.Therewasavisitorastranger.Hesaton
M.'sleft.HeonlybrieflyglancedupasBondcameinandtookhisusualplaceacrossthe
redleathertoppeddesk.
M.said,stiffly,"Dr.Fanshawe,Idon'tthinkyou'vemetCommanderBondofmyResearch
Department."Bondwasusedtotheseeuphemisms.
Hegotupandheldouthishand.Dr.Fanshawerose,brieflytouchedBond'shandandsat
quicklydownasifhehadtouchedpawswithaGilamonster.
39

IfhelookedatBond,inspectedhimandtookhiminasanythingmorethanananatomical
silhouette,BondthoughtthatDr.Fanshawe'seyesmustbefittedwithathousandthofa
secondshutter.Sothiswasobviouslysomekindofanexpertamanwhoseinterestslay
infacts,things,theoriesnotinhumanbeings.BondwishedthatM.hadgivenhimsome
kindofabrief,hadn'tgotthispuckish,ratherchildishlymaligndesiretosurpriseto
springthejackinaboxonhisstaff.ButBond,rememberinghisownboredomoften
minutesago,andputtinghimselfinM.'splace,hadtheintuitiontorealizethatM.himself
mighthavebeensubjecttothesameJuneheat,thesameoppressivevacuuminhisduties,
and,facedbytheunexpectedreliefofanemergency,asmalloneperhaps,haddecidedto
extractthemaximumeffect,themaximumdrama,outofittorelievehisowntedium.
Thestrangerwasmiddleaged,rosy,wellfed,andclothedratherfoppishlyintheneo
Edwardianfashionturnedupcuffstohisdarkblue,fourbuttonedcoat,apearlpinina
heavysilkcravat,spotlesswingcollar,cufflinksformedofwhatappearedtobeantique
coins,pincenezonathickblackribbon.Bondsummedhimupassomethingliterary,a
criticperhaps,abachelorpossiblywithhomosexualtendencies.
M.said,"Dr.Fanshaweisanotedauthorityonantiquejewelry.Heisalso,thoughthisis
confidential,advisertoH.M.CustomsandtotheC.I.D.onsuchthings.HehasLafactbeen
referredtomebyourfriendsatM.I.5.ItisinconnectionwithourMiss.Freudenstein."
Bondraisedhiseyebrows.MariaFreudensteinwasasecretagentworkingfortheSoviet
KGBintheheartoftheSecretService.ShewasintheCommunicationsDepartment,butin
awatertightcompartmentofitthathadbeencreatedespeciallyforher,andherduties
wereconfinedtooperatingthePurpleCipheracipherwhichhadalsobeencreated
especiallyforher.Sixtimesadayshewasresponsibleforencodinganddispatching
lengthySITREPSinthisciphertotheC.I.A.inWashington.Thesemessageswerethe
outputofSection100whichwasresponsibleforrunningdoubleagents.Theywerean
ingeniousmixtureoftruefact,harmlessdisclosuresandanoccasionalnuggetofthe
grossestmisinformation.MariaFreudenstein,whohadbeenknowntobeaSovietagent
whenshewastakenintotheService,hadbeenallowedtostealthekeytothePurple
CipherwiththeintentionthattheRussiansshouldhavecompleteaccesstotheseSITREPS
beabletointerceptanddecipherthemandthus,whenappropriate,befedfalse
information.Itwasahighlysecretoperationwhichneededtobehandledwithextreme
delicacy,butithadnowbeenrunningsmoothlyforthreeyearsand,ifMariaFreudenstein
alsopickedupacertainamountofcanteengossipatHeadquarters,thatwasanecessary
risk,andshewasnotattractiveenoughtoformliaisonswhichcouldbeasecurityrisk.
M.turnedtoDr.Fanshawe."Perhaps,Doctor,youwouldcaretotellCommanderBond
whatitisallabout."
"Certainly,certainly."Dr.FanshawelookedquicklyatBondandthenawayagain.He
addressedhisboots."Yousee,it'slikethis,er,Commander.You'veheardofamancalled
Faberg,nodoubt.FamousRussianjeweler."
"MadefabulousEastereggsfortheCzarandCzarinabeforetherevolution."

40

"Thatwasindeedoneofhisspecialties.Hemademanyotherexquisitepiecesofwhatwe
maybroadlydescribeasobjectsofvertu.Today,inthesalerooms,thebestexamples
fetchtrulyfabulousprices50,000andmore.Andrecentlythereenteredthiscountry
themostamazingspecimenofallthesocalledEmeraldSphere,aworkofsupremeart
hithertoknownonlyfromasketchbythegreatmanhimself.Thistreasurearrivedby
registeredpostfromParisanditwasaddressedtothiswomanofwhomyouknow,Miss.
MariaFreudenstein."
"Nicelittlepresent.MightIaskhowyoulearnedofit,Doctor?"
"Iam,asyourChiefhastoldyou,anadvisertoH.M.CustomsandExciseinmatters
concerningantiquejewelryandsimilarworksofart.Thedeclaredvalueofthepackage
was100,000.Thiswasunusual.Therearemethodsofopeningsuchpackages
clandestinely.ThepackagewasopenedunderaHomeOfficeWarrant,ofcourseand
Iwascalledintoexaminethecontentsandgiveavaluation.Iimmediatelyrecognizedthe
EmeraldSpherefromtheaccountandsketchofitgiveninMr.KennethSnowman's
definitiveworkonFaberg.Isaidthatthedeclaredpricemightwellbeonthelowside.
ButwhatIfoundofparticularinterestwastheaccompanyingdocumentwhichgave,in
RussianandFrench,theprovenanceofthispricelessobject."Dr.Fanshawegestured
towardsaphotostatofwhatappearedtobeabrieffamilytreethatlayonthedeskin
frontofM."ThatisacopyIhadmade.Briefly,itstatesthattheSpherewascommissioned
byMiss.Freudenstein'sgrandfatherdirectlyfromFabergin1917nodoubtasameans
ofturningsomeofhisrublesintosomethingportableandofgreatvalue.Onhisdeathin
1918itpassedtohisbrotherandthence,in1950,toMiss.Freudenstein'smother.She,it
appears,leftRussiaasachildandlivedinWhiteRussianmigrcirclesinParis.Shenever
married,butgavebirthtothisgirl,Maria,illegitimately.Itseemsthatshediedlastyear
andthatsomefriendorexecutor,thepaperisnotsigned,hasnowforwardedtheSphere
toitsrightfulowner,Miss.MariaFreudenstein.Ihadnoreasontoquestionthisgirl,
althoughasyoucanimaginemyinterestwasmostlively,untillastmonthSotheby's
announcedthattheywouldauctionthepiece,describedas'thepropertyofalady'ina
weekfromtoday.OnbehalfoftheBritishMuseumand,er,otherinterestedparties,Ithen
madediscreetinquiriesandmetthelady,who,withperfectcomposure,confirmedthe
ratherunlikelystorycontainedintheprovenance.ItwasthenthatIlearnedthatshe
workedfortheMinistryofDefenseanditcrossedmyrathersuspiciousmindthatitwas,
tosaytheleastofit,oddthatajuniorclerk,engagedpresumablyonsensitiveduties,
shouldsuddenlyreceiveagifttothevalueof100,000ormorefromabroad.Ispoketoa
seniorofficialinM.I.5withwhomIhavesomecontactthroughmyworkforH.M.Customs
andIwasinduecoursereferredtothis,er,department."Dr.Fanshawespreadhishands
andgaveBondabriefglance."Andthat,Commander,isallIhavetotellyou."
M.brokein,"Thankyou,Doctor.JustoneortwofinalquestionsandIwon'tdetainyou
anyfurther.Youhaveexaminedthisemeraldballthingandyoupronounceitgenuine?"
Dr.Fanshaweceasedgazingathisboots.Helookedupandspoketoapointsomewhere
aboveM.'sleftshoulder."Certainly.SodoesMr.SnowmanofWartski's,thegreatest
Fabergexpertsanddealersintheworld.Itisundoubtedlythemissingmasterpieceof
whichhithertoCarlFaberg'ssketchwastheonlyrecord."
"Whatabouttheprovenance?Whatdotheexpertssayaboutthat?"
41

"Itstandsupadequately.ThegreatestFabergpieceswerenearlyalwaysprivately
commissioned.Miss.Freudensteinsaysthathergrandfatherwasavastlyrichmanbefore
therevolutionaporcelainmanufacturer.NinetyninepercentofallFaberg'soutput
hasfounditswayabroad.ThereareonlyafewpiecesleftintheKremlindescribed
simplyas'prerevolutionaryexamplesofRussianjewelry.'TheofficialSovietviewhas
alwaysbeenthattheyaremerelycapitalistbaubles.Officiallytheydespisethemasthey
officiallydespisetheirsuperbcollectionofFrenchImpressionists."
"SotheSovietstillretainsomeexamplesoftheworkofthismanFaberg.Isitpossible
thatthisemeraldaffaircouldhavelainsecretedsomewhereintheKremlinthroughall
theseyears?"
"Certainly.TheKremlintreasureisvast.Nooneknowswhattheykeephidden.Theyhave
onlyrecentlyputondisplaywhattheyhavewantedtoputondisplay."
M.drewonhispipe.Hiseyesthroughthesmokewerebland,scarcelyinterested."Sothat,
intheory,thereisnoreasonwhythisemeraldballshouldnothavebeenunearthedfrom
theKremlin,furnishedwithafakedhistorytoestablishownership,andtransferredabroad
asarewardtosomefriendofRussiaforservicesrendered?"
"Noneatall.Itwouldbeaningeniousmethodofgreatlyrewardingthebeneficiary
withoutthedangerofpayinglargesumsintohis,orher,bankaccount."
"Butthefinalmonetaryrewardwouldofcoursedependontheamountrealizedbythe
saleoftheobjecttheauctionpriceforinstance?"
"Exactly."
"AndwhatdoyouexpectthisobjecttofetchatSotheby's?"
"Impossibletosay.Wartski'swillcertainlybidveryhigh.Butofcoursetheywouldn'tbe
preparedtotellanyonejusthowhigheitherontheirownaccountforstock,soto
speak,oractingonbehalfofacustomer.Muchwoulddependonhowhightheyareforced
upbyanunderbidder.Anyway,notlessthan100,000I'dsay."
"Hm."M.'smouthturneddownatthecorners."Expensivehunkofjewelry."
Dr.FanshawewasaghastatthisbarefacedrevelationofM.'sphilistinism.Heactually
lookedM.straightintheface."Mydearsir,"heexpostulated,"doyouconsiderthestolen
Goya,soldatSotheby'sfor140,000,thatwenttotheNationalGallery,justanexpensive
hunk,asyouputit,ofcanvasandpaint?"M.saidplacatingly,"Forgiveme,Dr.Fanshawe.I
expressedmyselfclumsily.Ihaveneverhadtheleisuretointerestmyselfinworksofart
nor,onanavalofficer'spay,themoneytoacquireany.Iwasjustregisteringmydismayat
therunawaypricesbeingfetchedatauctionthesedays."
"Youareentitledtoyourviews,sir,"saidDr.Fanshawestuffily.

42

BondthoughtitwastimetorescueM.HealsowantedtogetDr.Fanshaweoutofthe
roomsothattheycouldgetdowntotheprofessionalaspectsofthisoddbusiness.Hegot
tohisfeet.HesaidtoM.,"Well,sir,Idon'tthinkthereisanythingelseIneedtoknow.No
doubtthiswillturnouttobeperfectlystraightforward(likehellitwould!)andjusta
matterofoneofyourstaffturningouttobeaveryluckywoman.Butit'sverykindofDr.
Fanshawetohavegonetosomuchtrouble."HeturnedtoDr.Fanshawe."Wouldyoucare
tohaveastaffcartotakeyouwhereveryou'regoing?"
"Nothankyou,thankyouverymuch.Itwillbepleasanttowalkacrossthepark."
Handswereshaken,goodbyessaidandBondshowedthedoctorout.Bondcameback
intotheroom.M.hadtakenabulkyfile,stampedwiththetopsecretredstar,outofa
drawerandwasalreadyimmersedinit.Bondtookhisseatagainandwaited.Theroom
wassilentsavefortherifflingofpaper.ThisalsostoppedasM.extractedafoolscapsheet
ofbluecardboardusedforConfidentialStaffRecordsandcarefullyreadthroughtheforest
ofclosetypeonbothsides.
Finallyheslippeditbackinthefileandlookedup."Yes,"hesaidandtheblueeyeswere
brightwithinterest."Itfitsallright.ThegirlwasborninParisin1935.Motherveryactive
intheResistanceduringthewar.HelpedruntheTulipEscapeRouteandgotawaywithit.
Afterthewar,thegirlwenttotheSorbonneandthengotajobintheEmbassy,inthe
NavalAttach'soffice,asaninterpreter.Youknowtherest.Shewascompromised
someunattractivesexualbusinessbysomeofhermother'soldResistancefriendswho
bythenwereworkingfortheNKVD,andfromthenonshehasbeenworkingunder
Control.Sheapplied,nodoubtoninstruction,forBritishcitizenship.Herclearancefrom
theEmbassyandhermother'sResistancerecordhelpedhertogetthatby1959,andshe
wasthenrecommendedtousbytheFO.Butitwastherethatshemadeherbigmistake.
Sheaskedforayear'sleavebeforecomingtousandwasnextreportedbytheHutchinson
networkintheLeningradespionageschool.Thereshepresumablyreceivedtheusual
trainingandwehadtodecidewhattodoabouther.Section100thoughtupthePurple
Cipheroperationandyouknowtherest.She'sbeenworkingforthreeyearsinside
headquartersfortheKGBandnowshe'sgettingherrewardthisemeraldballthing
worth100,000.Andthat'sinterestingontwocounts.FirstitmeansthattheKGBistotally
hookedonthePurpleCipherortheywouldn'tbemakingthisfantasticpayment.That's
goodnews.Itmeansthatwecanhotupthematerialwe'repassingoverputacross
someGrade3deceptionmaterialandperhapsevenmoveuptoGrade2.Secondly,it
explainssomethingwe'veneverbeenabletounderstandthatthisgirlhasn'thitherto
receivedasinglepaymentforherservices.Wewereworriedbythat.Shehadanaccount
atGlyn,Millsthatonlyregisteredhermonthlypaycheckofaround50.Andshe's
consistentlylivedwithinit.Nowshe'sgettingherpayoffinonelargelumpsumviathis
baublewe'vebeenlearningabout.Allverysatisfactory."
M.reachedfortheashtraymadeoutofatwelveinchshellbaseandrappedouthispipe
withtheairofamanwhohasdoneagoodafternoon'swork.
Bondshiftedinhischair.Hebadlyneededacigarette,buthewouldn'thavedreamedof
lightingone.Hewantedonetohelphimfocushisthoughts.Hefeltthatthereweresome
raggededgestothisproblemoneparticularly.Hesaid,mildly,"Haveweevercaughtup
withherlocalControl,sir?Howdoesshegetherinstructions?"
43

"Doesn'tneedto,"saidM.impatiently,busyinghimselfwithhispipe."Onceshe'dgothold
ofthePurpleCipherallsheneededtodowasholddownherjob.Damnitman,she's
pouringthestuffintotheirlapsixtimesaday.Whatsortofinstructionswouldtheyneed
togiveher?IdoubtiftheKGBmeninLondonevenknowofherexistenceperhapsthe
ResidentDirectordoes,butasyouknowwedon'tevenknowwhoheis.Givemyeyesto
findout."
Bondsuddenlyhadaflashofintuition.Itwasasifacamerahadstartedgrindinginhis
skull,grindingoutalengthofclearfilm.Hesaidquietly,"Itmightbethatthisbusinessat
Sotheby'scouldshowhimtousshowuswhoheis."
"Whatthedevilareyoutalkingabout,007?Explainyourself."
"Wellsir,"Bond'svoicewascalmwithcertainty,"yourememberwhatthisDr.Fanshawe
saidaboutanunderbiddersomeonetomaketheseWartskimerchantsgototheirvery
topprice.IftheRussiansdon'tseemtoknoworcareverymuchaboutFaberg,asDr.
Fanshawesays,theymayhavenoveryclearideawhatthisthing'sreallyworth.TheKGB
wouldn'tbelikelytoknowaboutsuchthingsanyway.Theymayimagineit'sonlyworthits
breakupvaluesaytenortwentythousandpoundsfortheemerald.Thatsortofsum
wouldmakemoresensethanthesmallfortunethegirl'sgoingtogetifDr.Fanshawe's
right.Well,iftheResidentDirectoristheonlymanwhoknowsaboutthisgirl,hewillbe
theonlymanwhoknowsshe'sbeenpaid.Sohe'llbetheunderbidder.He'llbesentto
Sotheby'sandtoldtopushthesalethroughtheroof.I'mcertainofit.Sowe'llbeableto
identifyhimandwe'llhaveenoughonhimtohavehimsenthome.Hejustwon'tknow
what'shithim.NorwilltheKGB.IfIcangotothesaleandbowlhimoutandwe'vegotthe
placecoveredwithcameras,andtheauctionrecords,wecangettheFOtodeclarehim
personanongratainsideaweek.AndResidentDirectorsdon'tgrowontrees.Itmaybe
monthsbeforetheKGBcanappointareplacement."
M.said,thoughtfully,"Perhapsyou'vegotsomethingthere."Heswiveledhischairround
andgazedoutofthebigwindowtowardsthejaggedskylineofLondon.Finallyhesaid,
overhisshoulder,"Allright,007.GoandseetheChiefofStaffandsetthemachineryup.
I'llsquarethingswithFive.It'stheirterritory,butit'sourbird.Therewon'tbeanytrouble.
Butdon'tgoandgetcarriedawayandbidforthisbitofrubbishyourself.Ihaven'tgotthe
moneytospare."
Bondsaid,"Nosir."Hegottohisfeetandwentquicklyoutoftheroom.Hethoughthe
hadbeenverycleverandhewantedtoseeifhehad.Hedidn'twantM.tochangehis
mind.
***
Wartskihasamodest,ultramodernfrontageat138,RegentStreet.Thewindow,witha
restrainedshowofmodernandantiquejewelry,gavenohintthatthesewerethegreatest
Fabergdealersintheworld.Theinteriorgraycarpet,wallspaneledinsycamore,afew
unpretentiousvitrinesheldnoneoftheexcitementofCartier's,BoucheronorVan
Cleef,butthegroupoffamedRoyalWarrantsfromQueenMary,theQueenMother,the

44

Queen,KingPaulofGreeceandtheunlikelyKingFrederickIXofDenmark,suggestedthat
thiswasnoordinaryjeweler.
JamesBondaskedforMr.KennethSnowman.Agoodlooking,verywelldressedmanof
about40rosefromagroupofmensittingwiththeirheadstogetheratthebackofthe
roomandcameforward.Bondsaidquietly,"I'mfromtheC.I.D.Canwehaveatalk?
Perhapsyou'dliketocheckmycredentialsfirst.Myname'sJamesBond.Butyou'llhaveto
godirecttoSir.RonaldVallanceorhisP.A.I'mnotdirectlyonthestrengthatScotland
Yard.Sortofliaisonjob."
Theintelligent,observanteyesdidn'tappeareventolookhimover.Themansmiled.
"Comeondownstairs.JusthavingatalkwithsomeAmericanfriendssortof
correspondentsreally.From'OldRussia'onFifthAvenue."
"Iknowtheplace,"saidBond."Fullofrichlookingiconsandsoon.Notfarfromthe
Pierre."
"That'sright."Mr.Snowmanseemedevenmorereassured.Heledthewaydowna
narrow,thicklycarpetedstairwayintoalargeandglitteringshowroomwhichwas
obviouslytherealtreasurehouseoftheshop.Goldanddiamondsandcutstoneswinked
fromlitcasesroundthewalls.
"Haveaseat.Cigarette?"
Bondtookoneofhisown."It'saboutthisFabergthat'scomingupatSotheby'stomorrow
thisEmeraldSphere."
"Ah,yes."Mr.Snowman'sclearbrowfurrowedanxiously."NotroubleaboutitIhope?"
"Notfromyourpointofview.Butwe'reveryinterestedintheactualsale.Weknowabout
theowner,Miss.Freudenstein.Wethinktheremaybeanattempttoraisethebidding
artificially.We'reinterestedintheunderbidderassuming,thatis,thatyourfirmwillbe
leadingthefield,sotospeak."
"Well,er,yes,"saidMr.Snowmanwithrathercarefulcandor."We'recertainlygoingtogo
afterit.Butit'llsellforahugeprice.Betweenyouandme,webelievetheVandAare
goingtobid,andprobablytheMetropolitan.Butisitsomecrookyou'reafter?Ifsoyou
needn'tworry.Thisisoutoftheirclass."
Bondsaid,"No.We'renotlookingforacrook."Hewonderedhowfartogowiththisman.
Becausepeopleareverycarefulwiththesecretsoftheirownbusinessdoesn'tmeanthat
they'llbecarefulwiththesecretsofyours.Bondpickedupawoodandivoryplaquethat
layonthetable.Itsaid:
Itisnaught,itisnaught,saiththebuyer.
Butwhenheisgonehisway,heboasteth.
ProverbsXX,14
45

Bondwasamused.Hesaidso."Youcanreadthewholehistoryofthebazaar,ofthedealer
andthecustomer,behindthatquotation,"hesaid.HelookedMr.Snowmanstraightinthe
eyes."Ineedthatsortofnose,thatsortofintuitioninthiscase.Willyougivemeahand?"
"Certainly.Ifyou'lltellmehowIcanhelp."Hewavedahand."Ifit'ssecretsyou'reworried
about,pleasedon'tworry.Jewelersareusedtothem.ScotlandYardwillprobablygivemy
firmacleanbillinthatrespect.Heavenknowswe'vehadenoughtodowiththemoverthe
years."
"AndifItoldyouthatI'mfromtheMinistryofDefense?"
"Samething,"saidMr.Snowman."Youcannaturallyrelyabsolutelyonmydiscretion!"
Bondmadeuphismind."Allright.Well,allthiscomesundertheOfficialSecretsAct,of
course.Wesuspectthattheunderbidder,presumablytoyou,willbeaSovietAgent.My
jobistoestablishhisidentity.Can'ttellyouanymore,I'mafraid.Andyoudon'tactually
needtoknowanymore.AllIwantistogowithyoutoSotheby'stomorrownightandfor
youtohelpmespottheman.Nomedals,I'mafraid,butwe'dbeextremelygrateful."
Mr.KennethSnowman'seyesglintedwithenthusiasm."Ofcourse.Delightedtohelpin
anyway.But,"helookeddoubtful,"youknowit'snotnecessarilygoingtobeallthateasy.
PeterWilson,theheadofSotheby's,who'llbetakingthesale,wouldbetheonlyperson
whocouldtellusforsurethatis,ifthebidderwantstostaysecret.Therearedozensof
waysofbiddingwithoutmakinganymovementatall.Butifthebidderfixeshismethod,
hiscodesotospeak,withPeterWilsonbeforethesale,Peterwouldn'tthinkofletting
anyoneinonthecode.Itwouldgivethebidder'sgameawaytorevealhislimit.Andthat's
aclosesecret,asyoucanimagine,intherooms.Andathousandtimesnotifyoucome
withme.Ishallprobablybesettingthepace.IalreadyknowhowfarI'mgoingtogofor
aclientbythewaybutitwouldmakemyjobvastlyeasierifIcouldtellhowfarthe
underbidder'sgoingtogo.Asitis,whatyou'vetoldmehasbeenagreathelp.Ishallwarn
mymantoputhissightsevenhigher.Ifthischapofyourshasgotastrongnerve,hemay
pushmeveryhardindeed.Andtherewillbeothersinthefieldofcourse.Itsoundsasif
thisisgoingtobequiteanight.They'reputtingitontelevisionandaskingallthe
millionairesanddukesandduchessesforthesortofgalaperformanceSotheby'sdorather
well.Wonderfulpublicityofcourse.Byjove,iftheyknewtherewascloakanddaggerstuff
mixedupwiththesale,there'dbeariot!Nowthen,isthereanythingelsetogointo?Just
spotthismanandthat'sall?"
"That'sall.Howmuchdoyouthinkthisthingwillgofor?"
Mr.Snowmantappedhisteethwithagoldpencil."Wellnow,youseethat'swhereIhave
tokeepquiet.IknowhowhighI'mgoingtogo,butthat'smyclient'ssecret."Hepaused
andlookedthoughtful."Let'ssaythatifitgoesforlessthan100,000we'llbesurprised."
"Isee,"saidBond."Nowthen,howdoIgetintothesale?"

46

Mr.Snowmanproducedanelegantalligatorskinnotecaseandextractedtwoengraved
bitsofpasteboard.Hehandedoneover."That'smywife's.I'llgetheronesomewhereelse
intherooms.B.5wellplacedinthecenterfront.I'mB.6."
Bondtooktheticket.Itsaid:
Sotheby&Co.
Saleof
ACasketofMagnificentJewels
and
AUniqueObjectofVertubyCarlFaberg
ThePropertyofaLady
AdmitonetotheMainSaleRoom
Tuesday,20June,at9.30pmprecisely
ENTRANCEINST.GEORGESTREET
"It'snottheoldGeorgianentranceinBondStreet,"commentedMr.Snowman."They
haveanawningandredcarpetoutfromtheirbackdoornowthatBondStreet'soneway.
Now,"hegotupfromhischair,"wouldyoucaretoseesomeFaberg?We'vegotsome
piecesheremyfatherboughtfromtheKremlinaround1927.It'llgiveyousomeideawhat
allthefussisabout,thoughofcoursetheEmeraldSphere'sincomparablyfinerthan
anythingIcanshowyoubyFabergapartfromtheImperialEasterEggs."
Later,dazzledbythediamonds,themulticoloredgold,thesilkensheenoftranslucent
enamels,JamesBondwalkedupandoutoftheAladdin'sCaveunderRegentStreetand
wentofftospendtherestofthedayindrabofficesaroundWhitehallplanningdrearily
minutearrangementsfortheidentificationandphotographingofamaninacrowded
roomwhodidnotyetpossessafaceoranidentitybutwhowascertainlythetopSoviet
spyinLondon.
***
Throughthenextday,Bond'sexcitementmounted.Hefoundanexcusetogointothe
CommunicationsSectionandwanderintothelittleroomwhereMiss.MariaFreudenstein
andtwoassistantswereworkingtheciphermachinesthathandledthePurpleCipher
dispatches.Hepickeduptheenclairfilehehadfreedomofaccesstomostmaterialat
headquartersandranhiseyedownthecarefullyeditedparagraphsthat,inhalfanhour
toso,wouldbespiked,unread,bysomejuniorC.I.A.clerkinWashingtonand,inMoscow,
behanded,withreverence,toatoprankingofficeroftheKGB.Hejokedwiththetwo
juniorgirls,butMariaFreudensteinonlylookedupfromhermachinetogivehimapolite
smileandBond'sskincrawledminutelyatthisproximitytotreacheryandattheblackand
deadlysecretlockedupbeneaththefrillywhiteblouse.Shewasanunattractivegirlwitha
pale,ratherpimplyskin,blackhairandavaguelyunwashedappearance.Suchagirlwould
beunloved,makefewfriends,havechipsonhershouldermoreparticularlyinviewof
herillegitimacyandagrouseagainstsociety.Perhapsheronlypleasureinlifewasthe
triumphantsecretsheharboredLathatflattishbosomtheknowledgethatshewas
clevererthanallthosearoundher,thatshewas,everyday,hittingbackagainsttheworld
theworldthatdespised,orjustignoredher,becauseofherplainnesswithallher
47

might.Onedaythey'dbesorry!Itwasacommonneuroticpatterntherevengeofthe
uglyducklingonsociety.Bondwanderedoffdownthecorridortohisownoffice.
Bytonightthatgirlwouldhavemadeafortune,beenpaidherthirtypiecesofsilvera
thousandfold.Perhapsthemoneywouldchangehercharacter,bringherhappiness.She
wouldbeabletoaffordthebestbeautyspecialists,thebestclothes,aprettyflat.ButM.
hadsaidhewasnowgoingtohotupthePurpleCipherOperation,tryamoredangerous
levelofdeception.Thiswouldbediceywork.Onefalsestep,oneincautiouslie,an
ascertainablefalsehoodinamessage,andtheKGBwouldsmellarat.Oncemore,andthey
wouldknowtheywerebeinghoaxedandprobablyhadbeenignominiouslyhoaxedfor
threeyears.Suchashamefulrevelationwouldbringquickrevenge.Itwouldbeassumed
thatMariaFreudensteinhadbeenactingasadoubleagent,workingfortheBritishaswell
astheRussians.Shewouldinevitablyandquicklybeliquidatedperhapswiththe
cyanidepistolBondhadbeenreadingaboutonlythedaybefore.
JamesBond,lookingoutofthewindowacrossthetreesinRegent'sPark,shrugged.Thank
Goditwasnoneofhisbusiness.Thegirl'sfatewasn'tinhishands.Shewascaughtinthe
grimymachineofespionageandshewouldbeluckyifshelivedtospendatenthofthe
fortuneshewasgoingtogaininafewhoursintheauctionrooms.
***
TherewasalineofcarsandtaxisblockingGeorgeStreetbehindSotheby's.Bondpaidoff
histaxiandjoinedthecrowdfilteringundertheawningandupthesteps.Hewashanded
acatalogbytheuniformedCommissionairewhoinspectedhisticket,andwentupthe
broadstairswiththefashionable,excitedcrowdandalongagalleryandintothemain
auctionroomthatwasalreadythronged.HefoundhisseatnexttoMr.Snowman,who
waswritingfiguresonapadonhisknee,andlookedroundhim.
Theloftyroomwasperhapsaslargeasatenniscourt.Ithadthetookandthesmellofage
andthetwolargechandeliers,tofitinwiththeperiod,blazedwarmlyincontrasttothe
striplightingalongthevaultedceilingwhoseglassroofwaspartlyobscuredbyablind,still
halfdrawnagainstthesunthatwouldhavebeenblazingdownontheafternoon'ssale.
Miscellaneouspicturesandtapestrieshungontheolivegreenwallsandbatteriesof
televisionandothercameras(amongstthemtheM.I.5cameramanwithapresspassfrom
TheSundayTimes)wereclusteredwiththeirhandlersonaplatformbuiltoutfromthe
middleofagianttapestriedhuntingscene.Therewereperhapsahundreddealersand
spectatorssittingattentivelyonsmallgiltchairs.Alleyeswerefocusedontheslim,good
lookingauctioneertalkingquietlyfromtheraisedwoodenpulpit.Hewasdressedinan
immaculatedinnerjacketwitharedcarnationinthebuttonhole.Hespokeunemphatically
andwithoutgestures.
"Fifteenthousandpounds.Andsixteen,"apause.Aglanceatsomeoneinthefrontrow.
"Againstyou,sir."Theflickofacatalogbeingraised."SeventeenthousandpoundsIam
bid.Eighteen.Nineteen.Iambidtwentythousandpounds."Andsothequietvoicewent,
calmly,unhurriedlyonwhiledownamongtheaudiencetheequallyimpassivebidders
signaledtheirresponsestothelitany.

48

"Whatisheselling?"askedBondopeninghiscatalog.
"Lot40,"saidMr.Snowman."Thatdiamondriviretheporter'sholdingontheblack
velvettray.It'llprobablygoforabouttwentyfive.AnItalianisbiddingagainstacoupleof
Frenchmen.Otherwisethey'dhavegotitfortwenty.Ionlywenttofifteen.Likedtohave
gotit.Wonderfulstones.Butthereitis."Sureenough,thepricestuckattwentyfive
thousandandthehammer,heldbyitsheadandnotbyitshandle,camedownwithsoft
authority."Yours,sir,"saidMr.PeterWilsonandasalesclerkhurrieddowntheaisleto
confirmtheidentityofthebidder.
"I'mdisappointed,"saidBond.
Mr.Snowmanlookedupfromhiscatalog."Whyisthat?"
"I'veneverbeentoanauctionbeforeandIalwaysthoughttheauctioneerbangedhis
gavelthreetimesandsaidgoing,going,gone,soastogivethebiddersalastchance."
Mr.Snowmanlaughed."YoumightstillfindthatoperatingintheShiresorinIreland,butit
hasn'tbeenthefashionatLondonsaleroomssinceI'vebeenattendingthem."
"Pity.Itaddstothedrama."
"You'llgetplentyofthatinaminute.Thisisthelastlotbeforethecurtaingoesup."
Oneoftheportershadreverentlyuncoiledaglitteringmassofrubiesanddiamondsonhis
blackvelvettray.Bondlookedatthecatalog.Itsaid"Lot41"whichthelusciousprose
describedas:
APAIROFFINEANDIMPORTANTRUBYANDDIAMONDBRACELETS,thefrontofeachin
theformofanellipticalclustercomposedofonelargerandtwosmallerrubieswithina
borderofcushionedshapeddiamonds,thesidesandbackformedofsimplerclusters
alternatingwithdiamondopenworkscrollmotifsspringingfromsinglestonerubycenters
millegriffesetingold,runningbetweenchainsofrubiesanddiamondslinkedalternately,
theclaspalsointheformofanellipticalcluster.
*Accordingtofamilytradition,thislotwasformerlythepropertyofMrs.Fitzherbert
(17561837)whosemarriagetoThePrinceofWalesafterwardsGeo.IVwasdefinitely
establishedwhenin1905asealedpacketdepositedatCouttsBankin1833andopenedby
Royalpermissiondisclosedthemarriagecertificateandotherconclusiveproofs.These
braceletswereprobablygivenbyMrs.Fitzherberttoherniece,whowasdescribedbythe
DukeofOrleansas"theprettiestgirlinEngland."
Whilethebiddingprogressed,Bondslippedoutofhisseatandwentdowntheaisletothe
backoftheroomwheretheoverflowaudiencespreadoutintotheNewGalleryandthe
EntranceHalltowatchthesaleonclosedcircuittelevision.Hecasuallyinspectedthe
crowd,seekinganyfacehecouldrecognizefromthe200membersoftheSovietembassy
staffwhosephotographs,clandestinelyobtained,hehadbeenstudyingduringthepast
days.Butamidstanaudiencethatdefiedclassificationamixtureofdealers,amateur
49

collectorsandwhatcouldbebroadlyclassifiedasrichpleasureseekerswasnota
feature,letaloneaface,thathecouldrecognizeexceptfromthegossipcolumns.Oneor
twosallowfacesmighthavebeenRussian,butequallytheymighthavebelongedtohalfa
dozenEuropeanraces.Therewasascatteringofdarkglasses,butdarkglassesareno
longeradisguise.Bondwentbacktohisseat.Presumablythemanwouldhavetodivulge
himselfwhenthebiddingbegan.
"FourteenthousandIambid.Andfifteen.Fifteenthousand."Thehammercamedown.
"Yours,sir."Therewasahumofexcitementandaflutteringofcatalogs.Mr.Snowman
wipedhisforeheadwithawhitesilkhandkerchief.HeturnedtoBond."NowI'mafraidyou
aremoreorlessonyourown.I'vegottopayattentiontothebiddingandanywayfor
someunknownreasonit'sconsideredbadformtolookoverone'sshouldertoseewho's
biddingagainstyouifyou'reinthetradethat'stosaysoI'llonlybeabletospothim
ifhe'ssomewhereupfronthere,andI'mafraidthat'sunlikely.Prettywellalldealers,but
youcanstarearoundasmuchasyoulike.Whatyou'vegottodoistowatchPeterWilson's
eyesandthentryandseewhohe'slookingat,orwho'slookingathim.Ifyoucanspotthe
man,whichmaybequitedifficult,noteanymovementhemakes,eventheverysmallest.
Whateverthemandoesscratchinghishead,pullingatthelobeofhisearorwhatever,
willbeacodehe'sarrangedwithPeterWilson.I'mafraidhewon'tdoanythingobvious
likeraisinghiscatalog.Doyougetme?Anddon'tforgetthathemaymakeabsolutelyno
movementatalluntilrightattheendwhenhe'spushedmeasfarashethinksI'llgo,then
he'llwanttosignoff.Markyou,"Mr.Snowmansmiled,"whenwegettothelastlapI'llput
plentyofheatonhimandtryandmakehimshowhishand.That'sassumingofcoursethat
wearetheonlytwobiddersleftin."Helookedenigmatic."AndIthinkyoucantakeitthat
weshallbe."
Fromtheman'scertainty,JamesBondfeltprettysurethatMr.Snowmanhadbeengiven
instructionstogettheEmeraldSphereatanycost.
Asuddenhushfellasatallpedestaldrapedinblackvelvetwasbroughtinwithceremony
andpositionedinfrontoftheauctioneer'srostrum.Thenahandsomeovalcaseofwhat
lookedlikewhitevelvetwasplacedontopofthepedestaland,withreverence,anelderly
porteringrayuniformwithwineredsleeves,collarandbackbelt,unlockeditandlifted
outLot42,placeditontheblackvelvetandremovedthecase.Thecricketballofpolished
emeraldonitsexquisitebaseglowedwithasupernaturalgreenfireandthejewelsonits
surfaceandontheopalescentmeridianwinkedtheirvariouscolors.Therewasagaspof
admirationfromtheaudienceandeventheclerksandexpertsbehindtherostrumand
sittingatthetallcountinghousedeskbesidetheauctioneer,accustomedtotheCrown
jewelsofEuropeparadingbeforetheireyes,leanedforwardtogetabetterlook.
JamesBondturnedtohiscatalog.Thereitwas,inheavytypeandinproseasstickily
lusciousasabutterscotchsundae:
THETERRESTRIALGLOBE
DESIGNEDIN1917BYCARLFABERGFORARUSSIANGENTLEMANANDNOWTHE
PROPERTYOFHISGRANDDAUGHTER
42AVERYIMPORTANTFABERGTERRESTRIALGLOBE.

50

AspherecarvedfromanextraordinarilylargepieceofSiberianemeraldmatrixweighing
approximatelyonethousandthreehundredcaratsandofasuperbcolorandvivid
translucence,representsaterrestrialglobesupporteduponanelaboraterocaillescroll
mountfinelychasedinquatrecouleurgoldandsetwithaprofusionofrosediamondsand
smallemeraldsofintensecolor,toformatableclock.
Aroundthismountsixgoldputtidisportthemselvesamongcloudformswhichare
naturalisticallyrenderedincarvedrockcrystalfinishedmattandveinedwithfinelinesof
tinyrosediamonds.Theglobeitself,thesurfaceofwhichismeticulouslyengravedwitha
mapoftheworldwiththeprincipalcitiesindicatedbybrilliantdiamondsembedded
withingoldcollets,rotatesmechanicallyonanaxiscontrolledbyasmallclockmovement,
byG.Moser,signed,whichisconcealedinthebase,andisgirdledbyafixedgoldbelt
enameledopalescentoysteralongareservedpathinchamplevtechniqueoveramoir
guillochagewithpaintedRomannumeralsinpalesepiaenamelservingasthedialofthe
clock,andasingletriangularpigeonbloodBurmarubyofaboutfivecaratssetintothe
surfaceoftheorb,pointingthehour.Height:7in.Workmaster,HenrikWigstrm.Inthe
originaldoubleopeningwhitevelvet,satinlined,oviformcasewiththegoldkeyfittedin
thebase.
*ThethemeofthismagnificentsphereisonethathadinspiredFabergsomefifteen
yearsearlier,asevidencedintheminiatureterrestrialglobewhichformspartoftheRoyal
CollectionatSandringham.(Seeplate280inTheArtofCarlFaberg,byA.Kenneth
Snowman.)
Afterabriefandsearchingglanceroundtheroom,Mr.Wilsonbangedhishammersoftly.
"Lot42anobjectofvertubyCarlFaberg."Apause."TwentythousandpoundsIam
bid."
Mr.SnowmanwhisperedtoBond,"Thatmeanshe'sprobablygotabidofatleastfifty.
Thisissimplytogetthingsmoving."
Catalogsfluttered."Andthirty,forty,fiftythousandpoundsIambid.Andsixty,seventy,
andeightythousandpounds.Andninety."Apauseandthen:"Onehundredthousand
poundsIambid."Therewasarattleofapplauseroundtheroom.Thecamerashad
swiveledtoayoungishman,oneofthreeonaraisedplatformtotheleftoftheauctioneer
whowerespeakingsoftlyintotelephones.Mr.Snowmancommented,"That'soneof
Sotheby'syoungmen.He'llbeonanopenlinetoAmerica.Ishouldthinkthat'sthe
Metropolitanbidding,butitmightbeanybody.Nowit'stimeformetogettowork."Mr.
Snowmanflickeduphisrolledcatalog.
"Andten,"saidtheauctioneer.Themanspokeintohistelephoneandnodded."And
twenty."AgainaflickfromMr.Snowman.
"Andthirty."
Themanonthetelephoneseemedtobespeakingrathermorewordsthanbeforeintohis
mouthpieceperhapsgivinghisestimateofhowmuchfurtherthepricewaslikelytogo.
HegaveaslightshakeofhisheadinthedirectionoftheauctioneerandPeterWilson
51

lookedawayfromhimandroundtheroom."OnehundredandthirtythousandpoundsI
ambid,"herepeatedquietly.
Mr.Snowmansaid,softly,toBond,"Nowyou'dbetterwatchout.Americaseemstohave
signedoff.It'stimeforyourmantostartpushingme."
JamesBondslidoutofhisplaceandwentandstoodamongstagroupofreportersina
cornertotheleftoftherostrum.PeterWilson'seyesweredirectedtowardsthefarright
handcorneroftheroom.Bondcoulddetectnomovement,buttheauctioneerannounced
"Andfortythousandpounds."HelookeddownatMr.Snowman.AfteralongpauseMr.
Snowmanraisedfivefingers.Bondguessedthatthiswaspartofhisprocessofputtingthe
heaton.Hewasshowingreluctance,hintingthathewasneartheendofhistether.
"Onehundredandfortyfivethousand."Againthepiercingglancetowardsthebackofthe
room.Againnomovement.Butagainsomesignalhadbeenexchanged."Onehundredand
fiftythousandpounds."
Therewasabuzzofcommentandsomedesultoryclapping.ThistimeMr.Snowman's
reactionwasevenslowerandtheauctioneertwicerepeatedthelastbid.Finallyhelooked
directlyatMr.Snowman.
"Againstyou,sir."AtlastMr.Snowmanraisedfivefingers.
"Onehundredandfiftyfivethousandpounds."
JamesBondwasbeginningtosweat.Hehadgotabsolutelynowhereandthebiddingmust
surelybecomingtoanend.Theauctioneerrepeatedthebid.
Andnowtherewasthetiniestmovement.Atthebackoftheroom,achunkylookingman
inadarksuitreachedupandunobtrusivelytookoffhisdarkglasses.Itwasasmooth,
nondescriptfacethesortoffacethatmightbelongtoabankmanager,amemberof
Lloyd's,oradoctor.Thismusthavebeentheprearrangedcodewiththeauctioneer.So
longasthemanworehisdarkglasseshewouldraiseintensofthousands.Whenhetook
themoff,hehadquit.
Bondshotaquickglancetowardsthebankofcameramen.Yes,theM.I.5photographer
wasonhistoes.Hehadalsoseenthemovement.Heliftedhiscameradeliberatelyand
therewasthequickglareofaflash.BondgotbacktohisseatandwhisperedtoSnowman,
"Gothim.Beintouchwithyoutomorrow.Thanksalot."Mr.Snowmanonlynodded.His
eyesremainedgluedontheauctioneer.
Bondslippedoutofhisplaceandwalkedswiftlydowntheaisleastheauctioneersaidfor
thethirdtime,
"OnehundredandfiftyfivethousandpoundsIambid,"andthensoftlybroughtdownhis
hammer.
"Yours,sir."
52

Bondgottothebackoftheroombeforetheaudiencehadrisen,applauding,toitsfeet.
Hisquarrywashemmedinamongstthegiltchairs.Hehadnowputonhisdarkglasses
againandBondputonapairofhisown.Hecontrivedtoslipintothecrowdandget
behindthemanasthechatteringcrowdstreameddownthestairs.Thehairgrewlow
downonthebackoftheman'srathersquatneckandthelobesofhisearswerepinchedin
closetohishead.Hehadaslighthump,perhapsonlyabonedeformation,highuponhis
back.Bondsuddenlyremembered.ThiswasPiotrMalinowski,withtheofficialtitleonthe
Embassystaffof"AgriculturalAttach."So!
Outside,themanbeganwalkingswiftlytowardsConduitStreet.JamesBondgot
unhurriedlyintoataxiwithitsenginerunninganditsflagdown.Hesaidtothedriver,
"That'shim.Takeiteasy."
"Yes,sir,"saidtheM.I.5driver,pullingawayfromthecurb.
ThemanpickedupataxiinBondStreet.Thetailinthemixedeveningtrafficwaseasy.
Bond'ssatisfactionmountedastheRussian'staxiturnedupnorthoftheParkandalong
Bayswater.Itwasjustaquestionwhetherhewouldturndowntheprivateentranceinto
KensingtonPalaceGardens,wherethefirstmansionontheleftisthemassivebuildingof
theSovietEmbassy.Ifhedid,thatwouldclinchmatters.Thetwopatrollingpolicemen,the
usualEmbassyguards,hadbeenspeciallypickedthatnight.Itwastheirjobjusttoconfirm
thattheoccupantoftheleadingtaxiactuallyenteredtheSovietEmbassy.Then,withthe
SecretServiceevidenceandtheevidenceofBondandoftheM.I.5cameraman,there
wouldbeenoughfortheForeignOfficetodeclareComradePiotrMalinowskipersonanon
grataonthegroundsofespionageactivityandsendhimpacking.Inthegrimchessgame
thatissecretservicework,theRussianswouldhavelostaqueen.Itwouldhavebeena
verysatisfactoryvisittotheauctionrooms.Theleadingtaxididturninthroughthebig
irongates.
Bondsmiledwithgrimsatisfaction.Heleanedforward."Thanks,driver.Headquarters
please."
TheEnd

53