Dealing with anger

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Dealing with anger

By JOHN HATCHER
Contributing Writer

John
Hatcher is
pastor of
Outreach
International
Center, 1091
South Jeff Davis Drive,
Fayetteville, Georgia
30215. 770-719-0303

The sixth commandment is simple

enough, You shall not murder
(Exodus 20:13). This commandment
does not reference war or capital
punishment. It refers to a personal act
of brutality. No one has the right to
take the law into his own hands. No
one person has the right to deprive
another of his life. Of course, extenuating circumstances often change
the penalty for committing murder, i.e., self-defense.
Most of us can live out all our days without violating the sixth
commandment. Or, can we? Think of the Ten Commandments as an
outline of life, the way we should live our lives. When Jesus came
preaching, he filled in the outline, making it clear and plain the kind of
lives we should live.
Jesus felt the Sixth Commandment needed some filling in. So, while
preaching the greatest sermon ever preached, The Sermon on the
Mount, Jesus made reference to the old law against murder. He then
clarified it when he pointed out that anger was brought into suspicion
by the commandment against murder. Where does murder begin?
The Message Bible paraphrases Matthew 5:21f: Youre familiar with
the command to the ancients, Do not murder. I am telling you that
anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of
murder.
Anger is serious business. Its the root of murder. Everyone gets angry
many times in ones life. Its a natural emotional response to certain
circumstances and people in life. The Bible counsels each of us, Do
not let the sun go down on your anger. If the Bible counsels us on
what to do with anger, then it is assumed that God made us as
creatures that get angry. Someone who does not get angry at some
point in his life is not real.
While in a pastoral care course in seminary, I picked up on a quickie
handle to anger. First, we must name the anger. I served on staff
with a minister who typically was very calm about most situations.
But, as the staff took a seminar on relationships, I discovered that his
code word for anger was the word concerned. When he said he was
concerned about a matter, he was really saying he was angry about
a matter. Code words aside, we must name it when we are angry.
Many marriages would be strengthened if one spouse could say to the
other, I am angry with you.

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Dealing with anger

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http://www.thecitizen.com/archive/main/archive-050504/r-01_hatcher.htm

The next step in the quickie guide is claiming your anger. Name it.
Now, claim it. Its your anger and nobody elses. You have to get to the
place where you realize that you are the one with the problem. Others
may be completely unaware of your anger. So, after you name it, claim
it. Once you claim your anger, then you can go about doing something
with it.
Next, after naming and claiming it, aim it. Where is your anger
directed? No one can be angry just at the world. Anger is usually
directed at three targets: yourself, someone else, or God. Anger cant
be directed to something inanimate. A chair has never ticked anyone
off. Falling over the chair, however, can create an instant case of anger
at your clumsy self.
As one of Gods representatives, I can tell you that its okay to be
angry with God. Hes a big boy and can handle it. In fact, anger
directed at God can be considered an expression of faith. If you are
angry with God, tell him and tell him why. He may shed some light on
your confusion.
If you are angry at someone else, tell him or her. No one can get it
right unless they know they had it wrong in the first place. If you are
angry with yourself because of some stupid thing you did, get honest
with yourself.
So, you have named it, claimed it, and aimed it. The next step in our
quickie plan is most crucial: you have to decide whether you are going
to flame it or tame it. To flame it, you get out your blow torch and
burn everyone in sight. You kick the cat. You pop off to your boss.
You have a few choice signals as you drive home from work on a
clogged interstate. Of course, flaming your anger only makes matters
worse.
To tame your anger, you make conscious decisions about how to best
handle your problem. It may call for you to explain to someone the
reason you are upset. It may be that you need to apologize sincerely
for an inappropriate behavior. Taming anger prevents the sun from
going down on your anger. You tame it and put it to bed properly.
So you thought you had come clean of any culpability of the Sixth
Commandment? But what about that temper and that attendant anger?
How many hours is left before the sun does down?
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