I have come to realize that the underlying magic of the yoga practice is that it

continually offers us the invitation and opportunity to feel again. So much of

our life is spent in numbing ourselves to what is actually happening. We all do
this in a variety of ways; the more obvious and often admonished ways are using
substances, but in more subtle ways, (and socially acceptable ways), eating, sho
pping, certain levels of socializing or even keeping our distance from people, a
s well as any number of other tactics are ways of escaping so we can avoid feeli
ng. Anything we do repeatedly as a reflex to move away from experiencing sensati
on is a numbing technique.
On my first 7-day silent retreat I noticed how even "talking" was a way I could
use to disperse uncomfortable feelings--just talking! When I would finish medita
tion and something would arise I felt like a gasket ready to explode because I c
ould not turn to the person next to me to just share my experience--but it wasn'
t actually sharing I wanted to do --what I wanted to do was to relieve myself of
the sensation through talking!
Why do we do this? Often find the underlying message that precipitates our wanti
ng to move away from uncomfortable sensation is the belief that we won't be able
to survive it--that the pain itself will decimate us--and we may would fall int
o a space of no "return".
In the Asasa practice we are asked to get into shapes, (many times uncomfortable
ones), and instructed to breath and be vigilant to whatever is present, to what
ever is arising-to ALL of it-and perhaps more importantly, instead of turning aw
ay from the sensation, to actually move TOWARD it and not just toward it--- but
to SOFTEN to it. We may recognize that the sensations we have been running away
from, and which are being triggered by a posture, have their roots deeply embedd
ed in past experiences and wounding; therefore we are not just healing today we
are healing our past by allowing ourselves, today, to experience sensations that
perhaps we could not safely experience before. I know in my own experience it c
an be quite frightening and feel like complete shit, but the reality is that we
can continue to avoid, distract,and numb ourselves, but you can be sure that the
sensation will continue to visit you in your life and fear will settle into the
deep recess of your being. You will do your very best to spend an inordinate am
ount of energy trying to control life to not experience these feelings but you w
ill not be successful.
If we practice being with sensation on our mats over and over again we will begi
n to see that we are in fact,capable of being able to contain and hold these sen
sations without being obliterated; we recognize what Freedom truly is when we co
me to realize that who we are is not defined by a sensation or feeling; that fee
lings cannot touch what is untouchable, that which is never threatened nor could
be harmed in anyway by things that are temporary and changeable such as sensati
ons or feelings-and it is in this realization that we come to know who we are.