As we saw in the previouslesson,our "unpleasant"emotionscanbe anobstacle

in believingGod'struth. Actually, theyare merelyactingasmessengers,

alerting
us to what we arethinking and believing.It is import~t thatwe recognizewhat
we are feeling and evaluatewhat is taking place in our soul (mind, will, and
emotions).

One"unpleasant"emotionthateveryoneexperiences
is anger.It is oneof the
strongest
ofemotions.TheBiblesays"be angry,andyetdo notsin" (Ephesians
4:26).Godis holy,andJesus
is withoutsin,yettheBiblerecordsbothexpressing
theemotionof anger.
TheNewWorldDictionary
definesangeras"a feelingof displeasure
resulting
from injustice,injury, mistreatment,
opposition,etc.,andusuallyshowingitself
in a desireto fightbackatthesupposed
causeof thisfeeling;intensedispleasure
or exasperation;
anemotional
stateof hostility,indignation,andrevenge."

Anger is a normal part of our total emotional spectrum.

Angercanbe likenedto power,sex,or fire.Thesethingsareneitherinherently

rightnor wrong,but theybecome
rightor wrongonlyastheyareusedproperly
or abused.
Todetermine
if theangerwefeelisappropriate,
we mustidentifythe
basisof our angerandevaluatehowwe express
it.
The Apostle Peter,at the time of Jesus'arrest,is a good exampleof an
inappropriateresponse
ca~ by theemotionof anger.
And behold! one of those who were with Jesus reached and drew
out his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest, and cut off
his ear. Then Jesus said to him, IIPut your sword back into its
place; for all those who take up the sword shall perish by the
sword.1I

Matthew 26:51-54,

NAS

Peter'sangerwas based
on his
love for Christ,but he failedto controlthe
,
,
expression
of his anger.Angerwasnot theproblem,b~_~_~ion
of his
ange!_~as
inapP!oEri_ate.
Onecauseof angeris blockedor unmetexpectations.
Anex~ation is something
wearelookingforwardto or assume
will takeplace.
Throughout
life, we all developexpectations
whichare usuallyproducedby
comparingourselveswith others("Theygetto ..., so why can'tI?")or from
commitments
peoplemakeor imply.Someexpectations
resultfromvalid needs
in our lives suchasthe needto feelloved,accepted,
andsecure.
Whenthese
expectations
are not metin thewaysthatwe desire,the emotionalreactionis
oftenanger.
CCOPYRIGHT 1998. 2nd Edition 2001 SCOPE MINISTRIES INTL INC

7.3

Expet1ations,
Anger,andBiltelne$

First,we needto yield our expectationsand rights to God.

Angerbecomesa problemwhen we deal with it improperly. A way to safeguard
againstrespondingin angeris to yield our expectationsto God. In yielding, we
chooseto let God meetour needsin the waysHe seesbestinstead of the way we
want to seethingsdone.Wechooseto trust and look to Him asthe sourceof our
contentmentinstead of looking to circumstances
and people to give us joy. We
needto acknowledgeour angerto ourselvesand God.
Sometimesanger masks other painful emotions such as fear and hurt. EQ!fugemotiQD. It is less painful to "cover up" the real problems with an
inappropriateexpressionof anger.Likewise,if I am ~fraid of something,I may
expressinappropriateangerratherthan admitto beingfe~.
It is vita) that we
expressour angerto God and allowHim to showus the causeof our ange~
ch~~~-OL.suppress..~er,
-itwillmanifes~If
e~i!!!y-aff~
Ollf e!!'~!1tLI)Da
1ann/ nr ph~i('~I health.

-in our behavi;

Thefollowing diagramis helpful in understandingthe downward progressionof

emotionswhenwe fail to dealproperly with unmetexpectationsand unresolved
anger.

Expectations

Anger

,-,

Bitterness

Cure:
Resentment
Comparisons Yield
Forgiveness
expectations
asactof trust
in
God.
Verbal
Commitments

Vengeance
Ingratitude

Depression

~en ~e don'taddress
our angerproperly-itwill turnilltq Qitt~mess.
TheBible
talks aboutthis as developinga root of bitterness.The Biblicaldefinitionof
bitternessis "resentfulness"
or "harshness"
and is referredto specificallyin
Ephesians
4:31andHebrews12:15.T~~~~~rn~sl.wew~t
chQ9~jQjQrgiY~__Q.fu~_~for
w~_at
h~sh~p~~-J!!l<ltel~~1r:om..QYf
~~~
It is God's
job to dealwiththeactionsof otherpeople,notours.

let allbilterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander
be put away from you, along with all malice.

..;.
EXpecratlOOS.
Anger,and Bmerness

Ephesians
4:31 NAS
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no
root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be
defiled.

Hebrews 12: 15 NAS

Bitternessis the result of a perceivedright that has be~nviolated.

IfL~_~~~~-~jQ

~eness, we will holdtheoffen~~~e

(~ty)!or ~~.
We thenbegin to accumulatefault in our mind towards
him which we will bring up when the situation calls for it. ~w~~t
fo .."
.God.
This
is a orm 0 vengeance.
Bitternesscausesemotional, physi,caland spiritual bondage.

but ill ~tv

we arehurting o~~.

Bitternesscreatesa feeling of distancein

our fellowship with God. Emotionally,it cancauseanxiety,stress,anddepression.

Physically,it can causeanything from headach~ and fatigue to ulcers and

arthritis.U!!feSQlved
@&er~

~ves_Satan
an_oE1?Q~!'y
to wreakhay~ llQur

~.
---do

not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give

the devil an opportunity-

Ephesians 4:26b-27 NAS

Bitternessaffectsnot onlyus butwill con?minateall our relationships.

Bitterness
is like a cancer.Justascancerwill eventuallyspreadthroughoutour
entirebodY,l,1itlgrn~~
will eventually
affectall ourrelationshiEs.
A~i!!er~~
~mescritical,
cynical.hateful.andh~rsh, .
In His love,Goddesiresto freeus from thisrenegade
em~tion.His solutionis
forgiveness.
~arly
~trMctsusto loveourenemies
anddogoodto those:!:,!:h9
~n:e_aLus
'(Luke6:27:28).
It is ournamn:asGod'schildrento forgiveothersas
Godhasforgivenus.
And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other,
just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 NAS

~-n1~OO~

to for&ivethosewho haveblockedour..expfctatioQ~
Qrinj~

~ If we do n~L~e
bittem~, ~ roots..8!QlV-.~re$entmen!,
~eance, anddeprefif!i9n.:
\::Ie~ becom~_1!,11~ble
topgsa~fied,mQw~
locusto~y OQour
!!!!ill~~~~ationsand.the-Dnes
~&ed_lQmeelthm:
~~ds

us ast2h~,!!Godis mee!i!1~
O);!!
n~~~

INC.

7.5

ExpedatiO!Js,Anger,and Binerness

FORGIVENESS
ISNOT:
ignoring/disregarding
the
wrongdone
toleratingtheperson
excusing
theperson
forgettingaboutthe
wrongdone
lettingtimepass
allowingabuse
beingniceto theperson
keepingsilent
saying,"I forgiveyou."
basedonfeelings

Forgiveness
is a characteristic
of our newidentityin Christ.
God'sforgiveness
of usmotivates
andallowsusto forgiveothers.
...bearing

with one another, and forgiving each other, whoev-

er has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you,

so also should you.

Colossians 3: 13, NAS

Forgiveness is more than an outward behavior.

Forgiveness
is not ignoring,disregarding,
tolerating,excusing,
overlookingor
closingour eyesto thewronganother
personhasdoneagainst
us.[t is notsimply
lettingtimepassaftertheoffensehasbeencommitted.It is nottryingto forget
thatthe offensehappenedor pretendingthat it didn't. It is not j~t resigning
ourselves
to theotherperson'sactionsby saying,"Well,that'sjustthewayheis." ~
For 've
.not u ..the
ositionto be abu
r victimized

~
Forgiveness
is a deliberatedecisionto cancelthe debtowed.
~venessis_fure~oing whatwe feelis dueJlSand d~laring th~~r,5Qnno
t

FORGIVENESS
IS:
canceling
a debtowed
givingthepersonto God
yieldingour rightsto God
trustingGodto redeem
thesituation
yieldingour rightto punish
notseekingrevenge
or gettingeven
notjudgingor condemning
notkeepingscore
extending
mercyandgrace
makinga conscious
choice

done.
Theprocessof forgiveness
includes:
1.Acknowledging
theoffenseto God.
2. Expressing
to Godhowit madeyoufeel.
3.Expressing
to Godyour decision
to canc~lthedebt.
.Giving up therightto punishor geteven.
.Giving up therightto judgeor condemn.
.Giving up thedemandthattheymakerightthewrongdone.
4.Accepting
thepersonjustastheyare.
.Yield expectations
to God.
.Trust Godto meetyourneeds.
.Pray God'sbestfor thatindividual.
5. Beingwilling to risk beinghurtagain.
.Take downanywallsofself-protection.
.Trust Godto healandprotectyoushouldyoubehurt again.
Forgiveness
requiresour trustin God'scharacter.
Wemusttrustin God'sfaithfulness
to work everythingoutfor good,evenour
injuryandpain.

7.6

OCOPYRIGHT

And as for you, you meant evil against me, but Gbd meant1t for
Ex~ionI,

good.

..Genesis

50:200,

Anger;
andBitterness

NAS

And we know that God causes all things to work together for
good to those who love God, to those who are called according
to His purpose.

Romans 8:28, NAS

Evenafter we havemadethe choiceto forgive,t,heemotionsof angerand

bitternessmaystiIllinger. Our emotionswill evenhlallyreflectGod'sheartof
mercyand compassion
aswe continueto renewoui mindswith truth and
reaffirmour decision
to forgive.
Whatif our bitternessis towardGod?
Evenwhenwe areangry at God,He doesnot condemnor becomeangry with us.
He is committed to us and always respondswith mercy and love. Therefore,
w en w
ith God we need to chooseto trust in God's lovin and
mercifulcharacter.We must trust that e is wor .the
circumstan in our
lLf~t-:oIo_urgO-Q<i
~o~
8:28)an~ that tie will Emvide for Qur~~d
(philippians 4:19).We nee<:!
to expresshonestlyour angerto_Him and to allow
Him to showus thewrong beliefswe have aboutHim. Thereare manyexamples
of this in Scripture.David, a man after God's own heart, freely expressedhis
angertoward God in Psalm13:1-6NAS.
How long, 0 lord? Wilt Thou forget me forever?
How long wilt Thou hide Thy face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Afterexpressing
His anger,Davidchoseto trustin God'scharacter.
But I have trusted in Thy lovingkindness;
My heart shall rejoice in Thysalvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
BecauseHe has dealt bountifully with me.

Forgiveness
is primarilyfor our benefit.
Forgivingothershasmanybenefitsin ourlife. Gettingrid of unforgiveness
and
bitterness
canfeellikehavinga heavyburdenor weighttakenoffourshoulders.
Goddesiresthatforgiveness
become
a part of ourlifestyle.A fewof thepersonal
benefitsthatareoftenexperienced
throughforgiveness
are:
.Emotionalhealing;
.Healthier relationships;
.Increasedintimacywith God;
.Physical healing;and
.Freedomfromspiritualoppression

e COPYRIGHT 1998, 2nd Edition2001 SCOPE MINISTRIES INT'L INC

7.7

Expet1atiOl1\,
Anger,
and
B~

Conclusion:
Expectations,
anger,and bitternessall needto be recognizedand acknowledged
to God.As we interactwith our HeavenlyFather,He will revealto us the cause
sowe can applyHis solution.Although angeris commonto all asa resultof the
Fall! it is not the norm for the Spirit-filled Christian.Christhas truly setus free
from beingcontrolledby angerand bitterness.Themorewe learnto walk by the
Spirit, the morelove will be the controllingfactor in our lives.

rSUMMARY:
1.Angercanresultfromblockedor unmetexpectations
or goals.God's
solutionfor angeris to yieldour expectations
andrightsto God.
Unresolved
angerleadstobittemess.
2. Bitterness
canresultfroma perceived
right thathasbeen.violated.
God'ssolutionfor bitterness
beginswith understanding
andreceiving
God'scomplete
forgiveness.
3. Byreceiving
God'sforgiveness
ofuswecanmakea deliberate
choiceto
forgiveothers.

A Life Transformedl con It.

7.8

0 COPYRIGHT 1998. 2nd Edition 2001 SCOPE MINISTRIES INT'L INC.

Expectations

Anger

Bitterness
Resentment
Vengeance
Ingratitude

Depression

Throughoutlife, we all developexpectations.Theyare usuallyproducedby comparingourselveswith others("They get

0, so why can't Ir') or from commitmentspeoplemakeor imply. Someexpectationsresultfrom valid needsin our lives,
4Ich asbeingloved, accepted,and feelingsecure.Whenthoseexpectationsare not met in the ways we want themto be
Jlet by othersor by God,the emotionalreactionis often anger.
The Bible says to "be angry,and yet do not sin" (Ephesians4:26).Anger becomesa problem when we deal with it
improperly. A way to safeguardagainstres~~iin~geris

to yield our e~tions)Q~.

and look to Him asthe sourceof m contentment,'0 , and seCuri insteadof 100'

In-'y!eldin,e;,I ~

to

I decideto trust Him

to circumstances
or to other
Ie.

However,what if I don't recognizean expectationI haveand I get angry?Whatif the angerremainsin my heart an4 turns
into bittern~? T~deal with ~ger and~itterness,I canchooset~ forgive ?thersfor what has~ppened.and relea.se
them
from my expectations.God will deal WIththem,so I defer that nght to Him. If I do not deal WIththe bItterness,Its roots
grow down deeperand deeperinto resentment,vengeance,and depression(Hebrews12:15).I becomeunable to be
satisfiedand focus totally on the unmet expectationand the onewho failed to meetit. I becomeunableto seehow God
is meeting my needs.But, what if the angeris at God?Then,I must makea choiceto trust in God'sloving and merciful
character,that He is working all circumstancesin my life for the good (Romans8:28)and that He will provide my every
need (philippians 4:19)in His way.

ASSIGNMENT:
1. list any incidentin your past that causesongoinghurt. List eachpersonwho hascontributedto your hurts.
2. Ask God to makeyou willing to forgive thesepeople,and evenyourself,and to trust Him to work all together
for good.
3. By faith, chooseto forgive the offendersby an act of your will, apartfrom what your emotionsor reasonare
telling you. Verbalizethis choiceto God. TrustGod to changeyour feelingsof angerand hurt in His timing.

e COPYRIGHT

INC.

7.21

Name

Date

Answer the following questions. To turn in page to small group leader, use identical
perforated page in back of book.

4. Have you forgiven thosewho have hurt you? If not, what do you think are the
obstaclesto forgiving them?

C COPYRIGHT 1998. 2nd Edition 2001 SCOPE MINISTRIES1NTL INC.

7.19

..