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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
Parents, Families, Friends and Allies United with LGBTQ
People
PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207
716-883-0384

info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara

Sunday, June 21st; 2:30-5:00

The sharing meetings are held at Kenilworth United Church of Christ, 45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda 14223,
from 2:30-5:00. Newcomers and anyone interested will be offered the option of meeting privately with a PFLAG
parent. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is
handicapped accessible. New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to those
involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who
have recently learned that a loved one is gay.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. We try to
help one another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be
understanding. We offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain
anonymity while sharing on a level that is comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for their own
benefit as well as that of the group. It is our hope that when each of us reaches a point of understanding and
acceptance, we realize that this is when others need us the most.

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CELEBRITIES WHO LOVINGLY EMBRACE THEIR LGBT CHILDREN

By Erin Wilson

A disagreement between sisters Mary and Liz Cheney over equal rights got heated recently, but
former Vice President Dick Cheney has publicly supported same-sex marriage since 2009. He's
often cited by activists as an example to Republicans when lobbying to get marriage passed at
the state level. After Mary married her longtime partner, Heather Poe, in 2012, her parents
issued a statement saying they were "delighted" the couple could have their "relationship
recognized."

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Actor-singer Jason Gould is the son of Hollywood royalty Barbra Streisand and Elliott Gould.
Though he knew he was gay by age 8, Gould was not publicly out until he was outed by
tabloids in the early '90s. After learning the news, Streisand tried to educate herself about
homosexuality and even considered producing Larry Kramer's acclaimed gay play, A Normal
Heart. Mother and son recorded a duet of Irving Berlin's "How Deep Is the Ocean" for
Streisand's 2014 duets album.

1.1

Former NBA All-Star Isaiah Thomas has been an outspoken ally for the LGBT community,
particularly since his son Zeke came out in 2008. My parents like to say they always knew I
was gay," Zeke told Out. "I came out to them, and they were very accepting. I always knew
they would be accepting.

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Vanderbilts son, TV journalist Anderson Cooper, came out publicly in 2012 and has received
nothing but support from his famous mother. Vanderbilt has even mentioned her desire for her
so to settle down and adopt children so she can be a grandmother again.

Republican U.S. Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio was a well-known voice against marriage equality
until his son, Will, came out in 2011. Two years later, the senator reversed his stance, and he
continues to lobby for LGBT rights. In a 2013 column for The Columbus Dispatch, he wrote, I
have come to believe that if two people are prepared to make a lifetime commitment to love
and care for each other in good times and in bad, the government shouldnt deny them the
opportunity to get married.

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Best-selling Interview With the Vampire author Anne Rice has been vociferous about her
support for the LGBT community, which includes her son, fellow author Christopher Rice.
Recently, Anne Rice took to Facebook to call for the end of religious-based discrimination: I
will no longer tolerate hate speech in the guise of Christian belief with the usual irresponsible
pick and choose bible quotes and talk of 'sin' and hellfire.
nGAY
TEN TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY. LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, OR TRANSGENDER CHILDREN
By Luca Maurer, www.advocatesforyouth.org.

1. Engage with your child. Your gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender (GLBT) child
requires and deserves the same level of care, respect, information, and support as nonGLBT children. Ask questions, listen, empathize, share and just be there for your child.

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2. Go back to school. Get the facts about sexual orientation and

gender identity. Learn new language and the correct terminology to
communicate effectively about sexual orientation and gender
identity. Challenge yourself to learn and to go beyond stereotyped
images of GLBT people.
Here's a quick lesson on two frequently misunderstood terms:
Sexual orientationDescribes to whom a person feels attraction: people of the opposite gender,
the same gender, or both genders.
Gender identityA person's inner sense of gendermale, female, some of each, neither.
Transgender people have a gender identity that is different from the gender to which they were
born or assigned at birth.

Some people ask, "Isn't transgender just like being gay?" No. Transgender describes a
person's internal sense of gender identity. Sexual orientation describes a person's
feelings of attraction toward other people. Transgender people have some issues in
common with gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities, but gender identity is not the
same as sexual orientation.
3. Get to know the community. What resources are available? Find out if there is a
Gay/Straight Alliance at school, a community group for GLBT and questioning teens, a
bookstore with a selection of books and magazines on GLBT issues, or a GLBT
community center nearby.
4. Explore the Internet. There is a growing amount of excellent information on the
Internet that connects people with support and materials on these important topics.
Three excellent Web sites are Youth Resource, Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians
and Gays, and Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network. For a diverse selection of
links to a variety of GLBT sites, including education, family, health and wellness, and
multiple identities, visit Ithaca College's Center for LGBT Education, Outreach and
Services and click on the "links" button.
5. Find out where your local Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG) meets. Many parents say that their connections with other parents of GLBT

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kids made a world of difference in their progress toward understanding their young
people. Finding another person you can trust to share your experience with is invaluable.
Many people have gone through similar things and their support, lessons learned, and
empathy can be very valuable.
6. Don't make it ALL there is just because your child has come out as GLBT does not
mean the young person's whole world revolves around sexual orientation or gender
identity. It will be a big part of who the youth is, especially during the process of figuring
it all out, including what it means to be GLBT. Still, being GLBT isn't the sum of life for
your child, and it is vital to encourage your child in other aspects of life, such as school,
sports, hobbies, friends, and part-time jobs.
7. ASK your child before you "come out" to others on the child's behalf. Friends and
family members might have questions or want to know what's up; but it is most
important to be respectful of what your child wants. Don't betray your child's trust!
8. Praise your GLBT child for coming to you to discuss this issue. Encourage the
youth to continue to keep you "in the know." If your child turns to you to share personal
information, you're must be doing something right! You are askable. You're sending out
consistent verbal and non-verbal cues that say, "Yes, I'll listen. Please talk to me!" Give
yourself some credityour GLBT child chose to come out to you. Congratulations!
9. Find out what kind of support, services, and education are in place at your
child's school. Does the school and/or school district have a non-discrimination policy?
Is a there a GLBT/straight support group? Do you know any "out" people, or their friends
and loved ones, to whom you can turn for information? (Before doing so, again refer to
tip number 7, above. Ask your child if it's okay for you to "come out" about the child.)
10.Educate yourself on local, state and national laws and policies regarding GLBT
people. On the national level, GLBT people are still second-class citizens in regard to
some national policies and their rights are not guaranteed by law. Consider educating
yourself about this and finding out what you can do to work toward extending equal
rights to GLBT people in the United States. A good place to start is the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force.

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GAY RODEO TESTS TOLERANCE IN ARKANSAS, HOTBED OF RIGHTS FIGHT

by Jon Herskovitz and Mary Milliken

On a clear Arkansas spring afternoon after a day of horse riding, Wade Earp sighed and said, "I
wish we didn't have to have a gay rodeo. I wish we could just rodeo."
Earp was a contestant at the International Gay Rodeo event held last month in Arkansas, a
Bible Belt state on the front lines of the fight over gay rights and one of the 13 U.S. states
where same-sex marriage is not recognized.
"Everybody deserves equal treatment. Everybody deserves equal rights," said Earp, 45, a
native of Benton, Arkansas, where he was raised in a fundamentalist Christian denomination,
and a competitor in barrel racing, calf roping and steer riding. The sixteenth Diamond State
Rodeo held in Little Rock drew 75 contestants, far outnumbering spectators, from a dozen
states and Canada, all hoping to qualify for the International Gay Rodeo 2016 finals in Las
Vegas.
"For years, no one would allow us to advertise it," said Sandy Bidwell, president of the
Diamond State event, for fear protesters would create a disturbance.
"My attitude is, let them. It's free advertising."

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This year, they put up a sign directing traffic to the event, and no protesters came. For two
days, gays and lesbians and at least one transgender man competed in barrel racing and bull
riding on the soft soil of a fairgrounds arena at the rodeo that looked like just about every
small-scale rodeo held across the country.
The arena's railings were festooned with the banners of corporate sponsors advertising
products such as Bud Light beer, Jack Daniels whiskey, and Gun Oil personal lubricant.
TUSSLE OVER MARRIAGE

With same-sex marriage now legal in 37 states and Washington D.C., the focus has shifted to
states such as Arkansas and the battle between social conservatives and those seeking
expanded rights for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community.
Change might be right around the corner in Little Rock, the state capital, where in May 2014 a
state judge declared unconstitutional Arkansas's ban on same-sex marriage.
But one year later, the Arkansas Supreme Court has yet to decide the state's appeal,
prompting the chief justice and an associate justice to angrily accuse their colleagues of
manufacturing a delay.
Meanwhile, the U.S. Supreme Court is expected to rule in June whether to strike down bans on
gay marriage nationwide.
The Arkansas legislature this year approved a religious freedom bill that critics said would allow
for residents to deny service to the LGBT community citing their religious beliefs.

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Pressure from Arkansas-based retail giant Walmart Inc and other corporations along with rallies
by gay rights activists helped spur the legislature to tone down the proposed law.
BAN 'ALMOST INSULTING'
In the state capital and some other pockets, support for the LGBT community has been strong.
Only days before the rodeo began, the Little Rock Board of Directors approved an ordinance
barring discrimination against gays in municipal hiring and among vendors doing business with
the city.
In Fayetteville, home to the state's largest university, a human rights policy friendly to gays
was approved by aldermen but reversed in a referendum spearheaded by religious
conservatives.
Back at the rodeo, Earp and partner Jonathan Suder, 25, dressed in typical western garb, insist
they are not asking for "anything special."
"We just want what's right," said Earp, which for both men means marriage, a legal covenant
denied them in Arkansas and Texas.
The contentious Arkansas debate over same-sex unions "has drawn our community in Arkansas
closer than ever," organizer Bidwell said. Bidwell, 68, and Lisa Smith, 59, sidestepped the
Arkansas barrier by traveling from their home in Little Rock to wed in Bidwell's native New
York, where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2011. Yet to Ashley Vickers, an event
volunteer and mental health technician from Little Rock, having to leave the state to marry her
partner, Sara Strickland, "is almost insulting."
"I pay taxes here. I feel bad that I have to even considering going elsewhere to get married,"
said the 29-year-old Vickers.

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PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara Board of Directors_____________________

Phil Salemi, Jr., president

Michele Perry, secretary

Amy Fularz, vice president

Lisbeth Ball, director

Kristian Rickard, vice president

Ann Carrier, director

Brian Carrier, treasurer

Julie Christiano, director

Is it time to renew your membership? Please do so and PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara thanks you!

Lifetime Membership ................................ $500

BenefactorMembership ....................... $250

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Supporting Membership .......................... $50

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Donations of $50.00 or more can be included in the chapter newsletter with your permission.
Make checks payable to PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara and mail to: P.O. Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207
PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara is a non-profit 501(c)3 and donations are tax-deductible.
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara, is a non-profit, all volunteer, community-based organization
not affiliated with any ethnic, religious, economic or political group. Membership is
open to all. PFLAG membership lists are kept confidential.
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