Of course she'll do it. It's a good script, a great score, fat part.
I'd forgotten.
Just one thing. When Lilli gets here, start with a love song: "So
in Love."
Lilli Vanessi.
- Would you care to hear the score? - I'm dying to. That's the
reason I'm here.
It's a duet.
Well...
So it is.
There's another good song in the score for Lilli. "I Hate Men."
Another bell-leaner?
On the contrary.
Oh, this is Miss Lane, the young lady I was telling you about.
- Part? - Bianca.
The big one I'm going to do, the "Too Darn Hot" number.
Didn't you tell her the number's out? You told her she could
play Bianca?
Mr. Porter, would you sit here? And, Fred, sweetie, you sit over
there.
He promised faithfully.
No.
Gee, congratulations!
Oh, now, look, Fred... Oh, sure! I'll get the sketches.
- To here. - Gee!
Ladies, ladies.
All right! All right, let's set the final curtain calls.
Madame.
Bill Calhoun!
You louse!
On-stage, everybody!
Oh, great!
Thanks, lady.
Your boyfriend's.
Frederick Graham.
You thought they were great till you met this Hamlet.
Bill?
Bill Calhoun?
Out!
- What are they getting for New York cuts? - How dare you!
$ . a pound?
Bye, darling.
All right. I give up. What is it? Headlight of a locomotive?
In my apartment.
You mean that one room of yours over the Armenian bakery?
Yeah!
You are ravishing tonight. You've made me the happiest of men.
I don't know.
Fifteen minutes.
- Why, that's not even my signature. - That's what they all say.
I'm surprised at you. You just signed this this afternoon after a
game over to the hotel.
You're really crazy. I've been in this theater since this morning.
And now we'd like to express our best wishes for a magnificent
opening...
Not now. How many times I gotta tell you? I'll let you know
when.
All right. Come on, will you? What's the matter with you?
Oh.
Darling.
Here are some flowers.
From him.
You need some food. I better get back your dinner tray.
Thank you.
- Do you know what you've done? - Yes, sir. I've loused you up,
sir.
- Don't use that word. - Yes, sir. No, sir. Quite, sir.
- You mean, you didn't read the card? - Card? Was there a card?
I didn't see one.
Look, I'll tell you what I wrote: "To Lilli, the only woman I've
ever loved...
A shrew!
Oh, if I could only find a man who would thoroughly woo her,
wed her and bed her...
- I burn. - I pine.
I perish.
Ah, me.
Father!
- Poor child! - She weeps!
Bianca! Bianca!
As for me...
This gentleman is happily arrived.
...I would not wed her for a mine of gold. - Peace, Lucentio.
Bianca!
Thou hilding of a devilish spirit, why dost thou wrong her that
did ne'er wrong thee?
- Oh, was ever father thus grieved as I? - A word with you, kind
sir.
Whisper louder.
...that, hearing of her beauty and her wit, her affability and
bashful modesty...
...to make mine eye the witness of that report which I so oft
have heard.
- Thirty! - Father!
Of all the men alive, I never yet beheld that special face...
...which I could fancy more than any other.
Lois?
...and where two raging fires meet, they do consume the thing
that feeds their fury.
I will attend her here and woo her with some spirit when she
comes.
- Lf she bids me pack, I'll give her thanks. - I bid thee pack!
You louse!
We're on-stage now, Lilli! Good morrow, Kate, for that's your
name, I hear.
Come, come.
- You wasp! I' faith, you are too angry. - Lf I be too waspish,
best beware my sting.
- My remedy, then, is to pluck it out. - Aye, if the fool could find
it where it lies.
Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
...and I'll give you the paddling of your life, and on-stage.
All right, Miss Vanessi. You asked for it and you're going to get
it.
Ralph? Ralph?
Ralph!
Am I bleeding heavily?
Discolored?
All right, kids, let's get with it. We got a quick change. Come on.
Suzanne! Suzanne!
Hello, Tex?
Tex, Lilli.
You don't know what that beast has done to me. I can't sit
down.
I'll go to Texas.
Well, I'm quitting right now.
You don't think that you can walk out of a show in the middle
of a performance?
Oh, no.
You shouldn't have done it. You shouldn't have done it.
- Coleslaw. - Hey.
On Lilli's side.
I always knew you were a fine person, but it took really a great
man...
Fred, I...
Hey, is that the little lady who's gonna take a powder? We gotta
dissuade her.
Therefore, we would like you to finish the show till the end of
the week...
No, I'm just transferring the weight from this side over to this
side.
I said come!
Fred, look.
Who are these two angelic sprites who bear my lady's train?
Oh, yeah.
Obey the bride, you that attend her.
...my anything.
Touch her, whoever dares. I'll bring mine action on the proudest
he...
Gentlemen, forward.
- Bye. - Goodbye!
No regard? No duty?
'Tis burnt.
How durst you villains bring it from the dresser and serve it
thus to me...
Gin.
Last night, she slept not, nor tonight she shall not.
As with the meat, some undeserved fault I'll find about the
making of the bed...
...this way the coverlet and another way the sheets. Aye!
He that knows better how to tame a shrew, now let him speak.
Kate?
My bonny Kate.
My winsome Kate!
If you'd care to step over here, you'll see the little girl in action.
My dear Tex...
- Why would she want the FBI? - Why would she want an
ambulance?
Jimmy. Three.
- They sure look like actors. - They're not actors, I tell you.
Dragging this poor boy away from the stockyards just for a
whim!
Meaningless applause...
Me?
Why, you can ride for nigh on to two weeks and see nary a soul.
- You can spend all day in the saddle. - Oh, that's right.
- I'm mad about horses. - And eventually you'll stop falling off.
Yeah.
You take one from the fire and you hand it to the little woman.
Ye... I do?
I think he swooned.
Take your branding irons with you. Go on, get out, all of you.
Just put her down very gently, sir. You'll be all right, madam.
No, I...
To a chair?
Except for the fact he'll be slightly weighted down with cement.
Rest his soul.
You are free to go. You do not have to finish the show.
Hey.
Goodbye, Fred.
On-stage or...
...or off.
- You read those lines very well. - Lf I do, it's because I mean
them.
It was the...
And culture.
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely
players."
Unquote.
So remember this:
Where is Katherine?
Where is she?
Katherine, I...
...and obey.
And meekly put your hand beneath your lord and husband's
foot.
Ready.
Lilli.