Jethro B.

Capino

December 12, 2014

Divorce A Step Towards Open-Mindedness

The Philippines is advertising itself using the tagline More Fun in the Philippines.
Planking. More Fun in the Philippines, Working Out. More Fun in the Philippines, and
Divorce. More Fun in the Philippines. Oh wait, there isnt that is one thing unique about the
Philippines. After Maltas passing of a divorce law in 2011, we were the only country, apart from
Vatican, to not have a law on divorce (Conde, Carlos H., n.p., 2011). The only options are legal
separation and annulment.
The absence of a divorce law brings up issues regarding domestic violence. In an
annulment, civil or church, only one thing is considered mental incapacity from day one of the
marriage. Irreconcilable differences and battery isnt even in the picture. The inaptly named
House Bill No. 1799 An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines addresses some of the
aforementioned issues (Philippine Daily Inquirer, n.p., 2012). Its name is inappropriate for the
reason that divorce was available back in the American and Japanese period but was only
disallowed when the New Civil Code was implemented in August 1950. Also, historically,
Muslims and ancestral tribes from across the archipelago practice divorce.
The great thing about HB 1799 is its respect for Filipino values. It wouldnt shame the
family as an institution. Others might argue that the passing of a divorce law will degrade the
Filipino nation because it cant even create a stable foundation that is, family. On the contrary,
this bill will actually repair the damaged societal elements that this will lead to a stronger
community (Philippine Daily Inquirer, n.p., 2012). We cannot erase the fact that there are faulty
marriages, and rest assured that this bill will not allow a no-fault divorce or Britney Spears
marriages.

Fixing an unhealthy marriage is extremely risky, especially if one of them has already
made up her mind that this marriage is no longer working. This is a very common scenario and
in these cases, marriage counseling does more harm than good. Take the case of Marie and
Don. They have been married for fifteen years and unhappily married for five. Marie, initially
talks Don into counseling but he insists on talking it out themselves. She takes individual
therapy for two years and realizes that theyre just living in a fantasy that they can still be
together. She tells Don that she wants a divorce, and now he insists on talking counseling.
Marie agrees, just to give him a glimmer of hope, but she is fixed on the idea of a fast and easy
way out. After three sessions, Don notices her apathy towards the counseling and he felt that
she agreed on therapy just to prove that this marriage is over. Now, hes even angrier than
before. This goes to show that marriage counseling is not applicable to the situation Don and
Marie, and many others, have (Margulies, Sam, n.p., 2009).
Matrimony usually results in a family, and it wouldnt be considered a family without a
child. You take care of the child together in the hope that that child can go farther than the eyes
can see, in terms of success. But can that kid achieve his goal if his parents are divorced? Yes,
he still can! Children of divorce are put under a ton of pressure during the divorce process.
Stress and emotional scarring is inevitable but with the right guidance from the parents and
proper coping mechanism, he will get over this in no time (Kemp, Gina, Smith, Melinda, &
Segal, Jeanne, n.p., 2014). Some say that children of divorce turn into horrible people when
they grow up, e.g. serial killer, drug kingpin, or alcoholic. But these are mere exaggerated
assumptions; according to ScientificAmerican.com, effect on almost all children of divorce is
short-term (Arkowitz, Hal & Lilienfeld, Scott O., n.p., 2013). In fact, a study that compared
children of divorce to children of still married couples shows little-to-no differences in academic
achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social
relationships.

The Philippine-style of divorce takes into account a lot of things, but the integrity of
Filipino customs above all. The prerequisites of this divorce include being separated for five
years, legally separated for two years, irreconcilable differences that lead to the collapse of the
marriage, mental incapacity that compliance to marital duties isnt fulfilled, and other grounds for
separation that lead to the collapse of the marriage. If you think about it, annulment is worse
than divorce because it says that no marriage happened in the first place. Divorce, recognizes
the marriage but dissolves it for the reason/s stated above (Dizon, David, n.p., 2013).
The passing of this law will get us, Filipinos, closer to liberty. Were not passing it just to
join the bandwagon; we need it badly, for those wives, and some cases, the husbands, who
suffer abuse from their significant others. Not being able to divorce is analogous to not being
able to correct a mistake done by a person. Yes, the children will be affected, but only short
term. Also, counseling may help mend the wound of the marriage, but some cases more harm
will be inflicted. Not all the decisions people make are correct, and have faith that this
Philippine-style divorce will not let simple hurdles along the way result in divorce; it will make the
foundation of the nation stronger while keeping its wholeness. What I would like you to see is
the benefit we get from this law. Benefit, not in the sense of pleasure, but its a necessity a
necessary evil. Try to think of those battered spouses and contemplate if theyre in a good
position or if they deserve something/one better.

List of References
Arkowitz, Hal & Lilienfeld, Scott O. Is Divorce Bad for Children?. ScientificAmerican.com. Feb
14. 2014. Web. Dec 11. 2014. < http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-badfor-children/>.
Conde, Carlos H. Philippines Stands All but Alone in Banning Divorce. NYTimes.com. June
17. 2011. Web. Dec 11. 2014. < http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/18/world/asia/18ihtphilippines18.html?_r=2&>.
Dizon, David. Divorce unconstitutional, says anti-RH lawyer. ABS-CBNnews.com. Jan 08.
2014. Web. Dec 11. 2014. <http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/-/divorce-unconstitutionalsays-anti-rh-lawyer>.
Kemp, Gina, Smith, Melinda, & Segal, Jeanne. Children and Divorce. Helpguide.org. Dec.
2014. Web. Dec 11. 2014. < http://www.helpguide.org/articles/family-divorce/childrenand-divorce.htm>.
Margulies, Sam. Marriage Counseling and the Decision to Divorce. Psychologytoday.com. Apr
12. 2009. Web. Dec 11. 2014. < http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/divorcegrownups/200904/marriage-counseling-and-the-decision-divorce>.
Philippine Daily Inquirer. In The Know: Only the Vatican and the Philippines. Inquirer.net. Dec
19. 2012. Web. Dec 11. 2014. < http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/326647/in-the-know-onlythe-vatican-and-the-philippines>.