O primeiro post (BEM detalhado, principalmente a "Beyond the Pale"):

Of Two Beginnings (Budapest Part III)

that was me, young and free, there and then
"Of Two Beginnings" purveys the innocence of childhood in the opening with
the simplicity of the cymbal crashes and fade-in alternating of two notes
(likely foreshadowing musically the internal conflict of the narrator
between the feelings of insecurity and desire to be revealed in the lyric).
The synth textures and vocals enter, and the mood of this room with these
two young children just discovering one of the most important and beautiful
aspects of the human experience - that of sexuality - is painted in delicate
sonic brushstrokes for the listener. The tension of the longing and shyness
is built by the music and lyric in just a shadow over forty seconds before
breaking when the drums, guitar and bass enter, and the singer's voice
explodes with the passionate proclamation of their mutual desires and the
overwhelming insecurities of being the younger of the two. Finally, we are
transported many years into the future for a hint at what is to come of this
man and the love he could not bring himself to consummate at such a tender
age.
Ending Theme (Budapest Part II)
to be honest, I don't know what I'm looking for
"Ending Theme" kicks off with all instruments invoking the melody of the
chorus (to be visited again in the overture, "Remedy Lane"). The lyrics
begin with the narrator acknowledging this as his first step down Remedy
Lane (an as yet uncertain path to fixing the problems of his life) and
follow him to Budapest where he is finding an escape from the stresses of
his life in Ekilstuna with his wife and the traumatic past events that
continue to haunt them both (reference: "worn with rope ends on my mind,
torn with blood scarred in my eyes" - for more detail, see the songs "Rope
Ends" and "A Trace Of Blood") through the seduction of a young Hungarian
woman and by leaving all that was a part of the trauma or that would remind
him of it. For some insight into the two lines of the chorus, "Ending theme,
ending theme/Ripping at the seams for an opening," the listener should take
into consideration just what an ending theme is. At the end of a movie or
television show, it is what is played. In this instance, it is somewhat
metaphorical, and the ending theme is being played at what could very well
be the end of this man's life with his wife. In the second line, it is
apparent that what might really be needed is not an ending, but a new
beginning...or maybe not...or maybe so. Uncertainty!Uncertainty is the key
element in this song, that swaying back and forth between an attachment to
the time-tested and familiar, but at the same time traumatic and
complicated, and that superficial excitement for the unknown and simple that
recalls the freedom and naivete of lost youth. This is tapped at subtly in
the many whispers of "To be honest, I don't know what I'm looking for,"
before being expounded upon in the climactic, sledgehammer, spoken-word rant
directed at the entire situation. Musically, the song is at times scant and
at times overflowing, making it a very dynamic piece. There are alternately
many intricacies created simply by the subtle and appropriate embellishments
of the lead singer intertwining with the sparse instrumentation and moments
of harshness brought to shrieking life by howling guitars and powerful
vocals. By employing several different styles of singing, the lead and

backing vocalists effortlessly present, in a musical sense, feelings such as

anxiety, longing, and, overall, uncertainty.
Fandango
watch them dance
If the overall feeling put across by "Ending Theme" is uncertainty, then the
primary mood of "Fandango" is the polar opposite. Beginning with a single
clean guitar riff, gradually increasing in tempo to lift the listener out of
the distress of the last song, and joined by an undeniably memorable unison
guitar and piano hook, it is quickly apparent that the song title is not
meant to describe the style of music at all but something else totally.
Adding to the sense of confidence in the intro, the drums and lead vocals
enter synchronously to be followed by the unforgettable motif of the song,
"Watch them dance." A song about the writer's ongoing relationship with his
wife, the verses of "Fandango" build the two main characters (attributes,
strengths, flaws and all) and their relationship with the same basic themes,
abundant use of vocal harmony, and unison between instruments and vocals to
emphasize their parallel lives and the synergy between them. Thus, the hero
and heroine are locked in this great dance that transcends time, place, and
circumstance. The chorus ("Live that you...learn to forgive"), in what can
only be called a genius display of musical and lyrical cohesiveness,
foreshadows with a cascading piano line the next song and, lyrically, one of
the overall themes of the entire work, that of forgiveness. In an equally
brilliant moment, the lead vocalist and another band member trade off in the
syllable-by-syllable call-answer bridge, rendering the insecurities of both
participants and the need to remedy these past events. Soon after, in a just
barely audible whisper..."Always being much more human than they wished to
be," another crucial idea, is introduced; it is that of the struggle between
the biologically built-in desires and flaws, and the desire to overcome them
to gain something more fulfilling and spiritual. The following lyrics and
singing reflect those words still more elegantly and eloquently before
igniting into what can most accurately be described as a cry to Heaven (to
borrow an expression from Anne Rice) of "Watch them dance!" It is hard to
believe that God Himself does not get the shivers and just a touch of envy
right about now! And still, after we catch our breath and our hearts start
beating again, there is yet more to take note of. One of the most intriguing
things about the very end of this song is a slight change in the lyric of
last repetition of the chorus from "you can't know before you live" to "you
can't wait before you live" - so slight, but so crucial. Life is always
there going on, blindsiding you with tragedy when you least expect it, and
when it rains, it pours...
A Trace Of Blood
two young souls in misery, missing you
The first piece on the album completely devoted to addressing a personal
tragedy, "A Trace Of Blood," relates the chilling story of this young
couple's first child arriving stillborn. In the first absence of a segue
between songs, it's a spare moment of silence before the entire band blasts
into a flying intro of bass, drums, power chords, and a sprinting piano line
that has dropped an octave and grown from a subtle accompaniment during the
choruses of "Fandango" into the driving force of the opening to this human
epic of cruel misfortune. At about fifty seconds in, one guitar splits off

to deliver a soaring lead in one octave, then climbing yet another octave up
to refrain, only to descend wrenchingly and land in the dark abyss of bass
and muted guitar that has become the ground. It is the sound of that
inexplicable chill you might feel that you can't quite explain when you walk
into a room where something terrible has happened. There isn't much that one
could write to even come close to doing justice to the overwhelming emotion
contained in this song's lyrical content except to say that it is eerily
accurate and universal and only to be truely understood if you and your
significant other have ever gone through the experience of a miscarriage.
Having had one such scare in my own life (luckily, that's not what it turned
out to be), I can attest that it has the ability to change everything in
your life, and it does. Now, to imagine this horror culminating with your
firstborn oozing into a metal tray, the screams, the visions of the child
you were prepared to love as your own, the image of blood that haunts you
forever, and that is what "A Trace Of Blood" deals with. "I was prepared to
be your father, how can I ever prepare for that again? Still I follow that
trace of blood, always leading back to you. Hollow years of damming that
flood, two young souls in misery missing you. Missing you." It is the tale
of a shared wonderous waking dream of great fortune turned into a hellish
nightmare of loss, that feared thing that nobody wants to happen to them
happening and never letting go.
This Heart Of Mine (I Pledge)
i lie awake, watching your shoulders
A song about the narrator's marriage, written in first person as a
proclamation to his wife, has love ever been evoked so perfectly save
Shakespeare's "Romeo And Juliet?" Plain and simple, this song is beautiful.
Every single word in the lyric serves a purpose, and the verses are sung so
delicately and with such tenderness (if you can imagine what it would be
like to gently touch the face of your life mate and softly press your face
to his/hers...the warmth, trust, the knowing look in the eyes...this is what
is evoked by the singer's voice...it's as if he is carefully holding his
wife's heart with his voice) that every syllable and embellishment leaves
the listener on the verge of tears. The delicacy in the tone of the
accompanying instruments and their interplay is in itself a miracle. One can
imagine that if one were to do the unimaginable and remove the entire vocal
part, this would still be a perfect instrumental piece. Then, when it gets
to the climax ("I believe this heart of mine..." - a melody which reappears
in the next track's guitar solo) he sings with such conviction, and finally
the seamlessness between the sustained "GOD!" and the guitar solo (which
emerges as if it were something that could not be rendered in
words...probably the single most beautiful "in context" solo
singer/guitarist/composer, Daniel Gildenlw has ever done). Then it ends as
it began. It runs the gamut of feelings that being in love
entails...amazement, admiration, passion, respect, pain, happiness, sadness,
pleasure...in short, perfection. Nearly every rock band writes at least one
love song, but few, if any, have ever gotten it so right.
Undertow
let me burn it all
A lone clean electric guitar playing off a single string begins the hypnotic
and chilling "Undertow." As vocals, cymbals, and drums enter the fold, the

effect is that of being submerged and sequestered. The emotional distance

created by the recording and in the singer's voice as he sings the words,
"Let me go" elicits both a strange empathy and haunting sorrow. As the need
deepens and the desire to escape quickens, stronger, more specific verbs are
used (fly, run) and a piano doubles the guitar (in a style also employed to
great effect in "Fandango"), but in the forefront as opposed to heavily
reverbed to create that previous sense of distance. To complement the piano,
through inflection, the singer achieves in his voice a steadily growing
sense of confidence, in turn reflected by the words, building to a stunning
slide-guitar reprise of the previous track's anthemic chorus. It's the same
feeling ("I believe this heart of mine..."), but in a completely different
context. The same passion once focused on love is now focused on getting out
at all costs. Where the "This Heart Of Mine (I Pledge)" chorus climaxed with
the word "God" and was aimed at the miracle of love, the final climactic
note of the reprise coincides with the pronoun "I" and leads into the
pinnacle of "Undertow" - "I'm alive, and I am true to my heart now - I am
I - But why must truth always make me die?" There is a complete and definite
shift in focus, at first triumphant but finally proving deadly, that will
ultimately lead this man down a path of utter self destruction if he can't
cope with his past, his life, and, ultimately, himself. What began simply as
"Let me go" has become "Let me die," and that foreboding echo of "Die,"
first heard in the fade-out of "Of Two Beginnings," returns to haunt us...
Rope Ends
over she cries, through rope ends and silk ties
But life holds her hand, refusing to let go
The second song devoted to a tragedy, "Rope Ends," a song addressing
suicide, takes the listener on a journey through the mind of the young
mother who would end her life by hanging (first with the shower chain, and
then with neckties), into the home as the calamity is being played out, and
the forces of life that hold onto her. The percussive rhythmic feel,
dissonance and sheer heaviness of the intro seize the listener's attention
from the start and lend a disturbingly primal and distressing atmosphere to
the beginning seconds. The first lyrics of the verse and prechorus lead the
listener vividly through the first attempt and the preparations for the
second. The lamentful chorus plays out the second effort, and as the lead
vocalist beggingly cries out the woman's plea for death, a seraphim backing
vocalist counters as the specter of Life that refuses her this indulgence.
On the third and final endeavor related by the second verse and prechorus,
she clutches onto a tie with, the most innocent of things, cartoon
characters. To realistically eerie effect, the second refrain of the chorus
has the angelic voice describing the strength of Winnie the Pooh, who "would
never let her fall" and the persistent forces of life that again seize the
young woman from the very throes of her demise. The jazzy, then bluesy
instrumental that follows functions to add an abstract sense of time
passing - that indescribably dreamlike interval between unconsciousness and
waking. The final chorus lends exquisite detail to her return to
consciousness, undying, bringing to life chilling images of Eeyore smiling
just before sight returns, as Piglet overwatches all. As her senses return,
the listener knows that the beam of the house she had hung from has broken,
and dropped her to the ground. A tooth, hers, lies there, "crimsoned
ivory" - crying because she could not die, and as the minutes pass, and she
is physically alive, we know that this beautiful young life is emotionally
gone. The last voice to wither, that of Life itself, mourns, "she's not

there at all."
Chain Sling
the thought of leaving you, i do not know how
Terse but still elaborate lyrically and musically, the dialogue between
husband and wife in the final moments of crisis takes shape in "Chain
Sling." The infectiously melodic clean electric intro conjures its spell of
medeival dance, and an acoustic guitar enters to double and add to the
atmosphere. A dirty, modulated guitar adds tension, drums and bass enter to
complete the commencement, and, as all instruments fade out but a pulsating
electronic bass note, a brief pause, and the pleading first verse follows
the original guitar in that earliest line of melody. The first verse is the
man asking his wife to stay with him in her overwhelming moment of doubt.
The prechorus is her crying back that, at this point, it is impossible. The
lead singer does both parts perfectly by changing the tone of his voice,
and, during the prechorus, we hear other vocalists howling agonizingly in
the background, creating the atmosphere of the husband's emotional agony in
the wake of these words of rejection. Then, as the wife's final words, "You
must let GO!" are conclusively shouted, a crucial musical theme, to return
at length in "Beyond The Pale," is invoked. The chorus, in metaphor, tells
the story of these two soulmates - a love born from their writing that was
in turn born from solitude - their desire to dance out their lives with one
another, even through tragedy ("the swing of a rope end") - and finally
walking together through these times of doubt and sorrow to some solution.
Then the woman's lament, "Who will be there now, when I lose my one true
love? Have I lost myself? To love someone else..." Her conclusion is that
the bond between the two is so strong, in the end, so essential, that the
two are one, and to lose the other would be to lose the self. In a reprise
of the first verse that rarely fails to bring a tear to my eye now that I
understand the amazing scope of this song, the feeling in those original
lines is finally mutual, and their love is, through all obstacles,
triumphant.
Dryad Of The Woods
instrumental - for Johanna (wife)
Beauty.
Remedy Lane
overture
Abandoning the traditional approach of putting the overture at the beginning
of the work, and forsaking the more traditional form of a bombastic
orchestral arrangement for a primarily modern techno-dance feel utilizing
only keyboards and drums, Daniel Gildenlw, the composer, has artfully
placed his electronic overture at the beginning of the end of the album. The
pulsing synth bass and the first eerie melody morph into a rendition of the
final moments of the "Rope Ends" verse. As that reverts back into the
initial melody, some synthesized string voice hints at the first three notes
of the "Ending Theme" chorus. Then a modified take on the "Rope Ends" chorus
and fade-out before a synth orchestra section comes in with wind and strings
voicing the "Ending Theme" chorus, before being joined again by the pulsing

keys for a final refrain and fading into the next track. It couldn't be more
perfectly placed.
Waking Every God (Budapest Part I)
love is in my blood
The laid-back intro of "Waking Every God" immediately transports us, through
piano, arpeggiated guitar, and slapped fretless bass, to this man's first
taste of freedom and peace in Budapest, shared with another woman, and the
ever so quiet whispers of "ticking...wishing" hint at something
not yet apparent. There is an exquisite sense of relief and relaxation
created here, like that first gasp of air after emerging from deep water, to
be emphasized in the lyric of the first verse. It's that first taste of
freedom where everything you've done seems justified because you just feel
so liberated. The first chorus is a call to excite the gods, as they must
have been in an unknowing slumber to not have intervened sooner. Then the
realizations of the onset of passion ("falling - love is in my blood"),
freedom ("breathing - love is life unbound"), and piety turned wanderlust
(kneeling - let me tread its ground). Finally, the admission, that, in this
girl, the man sees his wife as she once was when they first fell in love
(young and free of sorrow), and that this young
woman sees how important that feeling is to him. The second verse begins
"ticking" towards some as yet undefined conclusion, "wishing" to be more
complete, and, ultimately, Divine, in a stellar series of high notes that
bring this voice quite close. In a critical change of lyrics to the final
part of the last refrain of chorus, "Through her eyes I can see who I used
to be, through my eyes she can see numb anxiety," it becomes apparent that
this man is trying to recapture his entire past and perhaps correct it. Not
only the person his wife was but also the person he was, and that all this
time with another woman in Budapest is doing is sedating a profound anxiety
that needs to be completely remedied. The final lines, "Love take me home life shake me home" are struggling pleas that his love and the turbulence of
his life will conclusively guide him home.
Second Love
i want you to know i can't sleep anymore
Poem:
We are eleven and she is the love of my life/But one week from now she will
turn her back on me/Four years from now she will give me hope, then sleep
with my best friend/Five years from now it is the two of us but by then
there is nothing left of this aching love and this soaring love/But I don't
know that now/Because we are eleven and she is the love of my life
SONG:
If "This Heart Of Mine" epitomized the wonder of being in love, "Second
Love" embodies its antithesis - the despair of heartbreak. A single
finger-picked guitar introduces the song briefly, and the young narrator
(circa 1987/1988 - reference liner notes) begins this ballad about,
appropriately, the turning point in his relationship with his second love.
Only those whose hearts have been broken can possibly grasp in their souls
the sheer scope and truth of the words, "I want you to know, I can't sleep

anymore" and "I'll never believe in love anymore." For those who have not,
imagine an anxiety so great and unrelenting that you could not sleep even at
that point of physical exhaustion that would commonly necessitate it, or
imagine some event so tragic and ruthless that it would cause you to lose
faith in love. Then, and only then, can you come even remotely close to
comprehension. Moving on, I can't help but compare "Second Love" to "This
Heart Of Mine" again - they complement one another so perfectly; if the
latter has the best "in-context" solo the composer has ever penned, the
former has the most exquisite melodic solo by this writer to date. I'd go so
far as to say that the tone, phrasing, fit, and delivery, while still
maintaining a truely original voice, recall some of Brian May's finer
moments (Queen fan or not, that's a huge compliment)! And then those
unforgettable lines, "But now I am gone, I leave no shadow when I'm alone I'll stay forever in my dreams where you are near" to provide the emotional
imagery of a hollow heart void of love, an emotional vacuum that can exist
and love only in the imagination and dreams. A heartwrenching song about the
pains of love and the perfect counterpart to "This Heart Of Mine," "Second
Love" sets up the conclusion to this concept which now completely
necessitates coming to terms with much more than the immediate relationship
crisis.
Beyond The Pale
we will always be so much more human than we wish to be
First to clear up any confusion or unfamiliarity with the expression "beyond
the pale" here is a definition:
From
www.lovatts.com.au/WEB_section/trivia/Triv_wher_58.htm:
If someone's behaviour is described as beyond the pale it is unacceptable.
They have overstepped the mark of good manners or decency.This originates
from pale meaning an area designated to a particular authority, such as a
cathedral pale. In the fourteenth century the English Pale was the area of
Ireland under English rule. Civilisation existed within the pale and
anything outside this area, or beyond the pale, was seen as occupied by
barbarians. The Irish would no doubt have a different story to tell! The
phrase has remained with us. A person behaving inappropriately is considered
beyond the
pale and therefore they, or at least the behaviour, are shunned.
Now moving on to the song and its accompanying poems in the album artwork:
Poem 1:
Last night of the festival/my heart aches/the Danube drinks/I am balancing
tears in laughter/with less ease/and less will/I have loved/I have been
had/I have hungered/I have kissed/Tonight I look at the stars/she is 19/the
same age we were when we met/As if you know you call me/I tell you not to
worry/In a way I am right/There is nothing to worry about/I am lost either
way/Sweet 19, fresh and clean, hungry/for the taste you've never had/And I
have hungered so myself/But I can only think of you/I can only feel a little
sick and unclean/'Be careful - it hurts'/In a way this is the first time for
both of us/For her it is her young body/For me it is my mind/And in the end

I guess we will both feel a little sick/Hungry for more, for something else,
a bit more real/Love - take me home, love - take me home.
Purpose: Sets time, place, mood, and events
Poem 2:
And in the end.../Did I ever fear anything as much as/I feared hurting
anyone?/And still there could be a sea of weeping/For the dear
Inevitability/never fails to bring a foul taste/And so it does once
again/Wounds that never heal/Those of losing yourself/though/I have yet to
hurt anyone/As much as I
have feared them.../For in the end/I always wanted you all to feel loved!
Purpose: Justification
SONG:
Lines 1-2: And sex was always there from when I was only eight years tempting me and leaving me thirsty/Sweat, skin, a PULSE divine to balance
this restless MIND - It seemed so wonderfully physical
Delivery: Sung in a confessional way, one can readily imagine the booth, the
shadow, and the screen between sin and absolution.
Meaning: The first lines are rather self explanatory. Ever since a young
age, the temptation of sex has been present, giving this ever active mind
its much needed rest.
Line 3: Oh the BLOOD, the lust, the bodies that color the world: all drugs
to die for! Won't you share my fire?
Delivery: Confessor overwhelmed and turned seductor.
Meaning: The biological instinct, the obsessive sexual desire, and the great
variety of bodies available in the world, are, in a word, addictive.
Finally, the offer to share in that great
passion.
Line 4: How can LOVE make that world a minefield of forbidden GROUND? A map
of untouchable skin and SILENCED desire? *embellishments*
Delivery: Rhetorically inquisitive, repressed longing
Meaning: Sex outside of the relationship is taboo. Love changes everything,
and what was once touchable without consequence becomes untouchable and
holds the consequence of destroying that love; the desire once so vocal
becomes silenced for the sake of love. The vocal embellishments after the
lyrics bring this feeling to us in an abstract modulated voice that is at
once burning, muted, and
tortured.
Lines 5-9: And love was there in vain, PROFOUND and deep but traced with
pain - too early for a child of TEN/Loving the pure and sane he sought the
goddesses unstained - watching them turn to flesh again/HUNGRY for both the
PURITY and SIN/Life seemed to him merely like a GALLERY of how to

be/And he was always much more HUMAN than he wished to be

Delivery: Third-person past tense confession
Meaning: The fifth line references the events in "Of Two Beginnings," that
relationship, and why it didn't work. The sixth line tells of his growing
penchant for the untouched, pure, and good and his desire to have such
women. Once had, the "goddesses" turn to "flesh" - that which was once pure
has been spoiled by his touch. In the seventh and eighth lines, the two
conflicting desires, the one for purity (good) and the other for sin
(wicked) have caused life to become a museum of sorts with each exhibit
(person, trait, etc.) falling under its own place in the nomenclature. (Ex.
Person A is
PURITY, Person B is SIN, trait A = PURITY, trait B = SIN, and so on). It's a
black and white distinction between the clean and the corrupted. Finally,
the return of the concept of being more human (flawed) than one would like,
first referenced in "Fandango," and the overall theme of the work.
Line 10: But there is a LOGIC to his world, if they could only see
Delivery: Third-person present tense, justifying
Meaning: There is an esoteric reasoning to this man's world and his ideas
[see cover art: //human//sweat-salt-sorrow-love-past-sex-failure-(illusion
1)-...transition-tongue//human//; link: Budapest; fig. 1 and fig. 2;
det.IV-skin;...transition/...transition/...transition//unhuman//-to be
honest i don't know what i'm looking for (upside down and backwards)], and
then, on the same page as the "Beyond The Pale" poems [ill. 14
emotions(human-ish) flesh x 2; type(s)regret-desire] but few, if any, can
notice and completely comprehend it.
*recurring musical theme from "Chain Sling"*
Line 11: Wishing - Sickened - Ill - Ticking
Delivery: Whisper-shout, alternately subdued and violent
Meaning: Wishing - to be God (re: "Waking Every God")-to be less human,
sickened by lust (re: Poem 1), ill with that desire, ticking towards
destruction (Line 4 and accompanying analysis)
*silence*
Lines 12-13: Someone still this hunger (it's in my blood) always growing
stronger (ticking)/Budapest I'm learning, Budapest you're burning me
Delivery: Urgent, distressed, driving toward Inevitability
Meaning: A cry for help or at least relief from the biological instinct to w
ant sex and the idea that it is in the blood and there is no escaping it or
helping it. The longer it is denied, the stronger it gets, ticking toward
Inevitability (re: Poem 2). Line 12 addresses this city of temptation, first
with the narrator stating he is learning from this experience, and finally
that the city and its temptations are burning him alive (metaphorically of
course).

Lines 14-15: This is not who I wanted to be, this is not what I wanted to
see/She's so young so why don't I feel free now that she is here under me?
Delivery: Regretful, eliciting sympathy, and, finally, disgust
Meaning: This man is not finding what he wanted to find; it's not the thing
he wanted to become, and these are not the things he wanted to see. It's
just now becoming apparent that it's too much. He is taking this young
woman's virginity (re: Poem 1) to feel a sense of freedom, but all he can
feel is
disgust.
*"Chain Sling" theme reprise*
Line 16: Naked - Touching - Soft - Clutching
Delivery: Whisper-shout, alternately subdued and violent
Meaning: The sex act.
Lines 17-23: And then after all it led me here to wake up again/Seeking a
love that might make me feel free in myself but then it proves to
be/Something that hurts inside when we touch, so I move on, I lose my
way/Astray I'm trying too much to feel unchained, to burn out this sense of
feeling
cold/And every day I seek my prey: someone to taste and to hold/I feel alive
during the split second when they smile and meet my eyes/But I could cry
because I feel broken inside
Delivery: Explanatory, methodical, recognition of failure
Meaning: It's the explanation that the complications of his life led him
back to Budapest to seek his answers and freedom, but it's not working. He
is trying to hard, and the true feeling of real freedom isn't coming to him.
Everything about this freedom is superficial, and, in the absence of
anything real or profound (re: Poem 1), he feels emotionally crushed.
Lines 24-29: COME and DROWN with me, the UNDERTOW will sweep us away!/And
you will see that I'm ADDICTED to my HONESTY/Trust! 'Cause after all my
sense of TRUTH once brought me here/But I've LOST control and I don't know
if I am true to my soul/I've lost CONTROL and I don't know if I am true to
my soul/Losing control and I don't know if I am TRUE AT ALL
Delivery: Urgent, demanding, insane
Meaning: In the twenty-fourth line, there is an obvious allusion in the
invitation to join in the narrator's path into self destruction at the mercy
of the "Undertow." The twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth lines urge the audience
to trust because to go this far this man must have a nearly masochistic
obsession with honesty (the subject matter of the entire album is proof
enough of this). Lines 27-29 make up the first complete admission that he
has lost control of his life and that he is
no longer sure if he is being true to his heart or if he is even true at
all.
*silence*

*solo* An epic solo for an epic song...

Lines 30-36: And we were always much more human than we wished to be.../And
I remember when you said you've been UNDER him - I was surprised to feel
such pain/And all those years of being faithful to YOU despite the hunger
flowing through my veins/And I have always tried to calm things down SWALLOW down swallow down/"It's just another small thorn in my crown"/But
suddenly one day there was just too much blood in my eyes and I had to take
this WALK down REMEDY LANE of whens and whys...
Delivery: Alternately sad and enraged
Meaning: Again, the refrain of "more human than we wished to be" - this time
it prefaces the narrator's closure to the relationship in "Second Love"
(see: "Second Love" poem and song) in lines 31-32 of this song. Line 33
further references his attempts to contain his feelings rather than speak
out. In the thirty-fourth line, those feelings are stated. I take the words
to be a metaphor (Christian imagery-crown of thorns which was a way of
tormenting Jesus) for "It's just something
else to torment me with and add to my burden." Then, in line 35, the first
phrase seems to hold a double meaning; the blood in the eyes can as easily
be caused from that metaphorical crown of thorns as it can the blood in the
eyes referenced in "A Trace Of Blood." So, it is most likely that the
"crown" is just a culmination of every significant loss and each tragedy is
a "small thorn" which adds to it. At any rate, there was too much tragedy,
disappointment, and loss, and eventually it led him to the necessity of
taking this walk down a path of self-healing through memories, experience
and reasoning.
*Chain Sling theme refrain*
Line 37: Empty - Licking - Clean - Choking
Delivery: Whisper-shout, alternately subdued and violent
Meaning: Empty refers to the current emotional and physiological state as
much as the overall nature of this thrill-seeking. Licking is obviously
sexual in this context. Clean refers to the young woman (re: Poem 1 - "sweet
19 fresh and clean"). Choking is well utilized ironic metaphor. Why would
licking something or someone who is clean cause one to choke? It wouldn't.
It must be caused by something within or, in this case, the absence of
something within.
Lines 38-39: Someone still this hunger (possessing my mind) always growing
stronger (craving)/BUDAPEST I'm learning, Budapest I'm burning me
Delivery: Urgent, distressed, self-aware
Meaning: The overwhelming hunger again. Addressing the city once more, still
learning about himself, but this time there is the realization: he is, in
fact, in the process of "(burning) it all" as referenced in "Undertow,"
burning himself. And so he emerges from the "cleansing fire" into this
enlightenment...
Lines 40-43: THis is not who I wanted to be, this is not what I wanted to

see/She's so young so why don't I feel free now that she's under me?/In the
morning she's going away in a Budapest taxi I've paid/Seeking freedom I
touched the untouched - it's too much - I'm BEYOND THE PALE...
Delivery: Epiphanic - Disgusted in final words
Meaning: At the end of his trip down Remedy Lane, the protagonist discovers
that he has found no true lasting freedom or happiness in Budapest. The sex
with random women does not fulfill him as a person. The young woman with
whom he slept is leaving the hotel room in a taxi for which he has paid, and
he acknowledges that in his quest for freedom from his own life, he has gone
so far as to touch the untouched (the young woman whose virginity has been
taken), and that it is too much - he has gone too far. He is, in his own
mind, beyond the realm of common decency, barbaric, and unacceptable.
Lines 44-48: Prematurity is the story of both you and me and we were always
much more human than we wished to be/Prematurity is truly the story of both
you and me and we were always much more human than we wished to be/We were
always much more human than we wished to be/We were always much more human
than we wished to be/We will always be more human than we wish to be/WE WILL
ALWAYS BE SO MUCH MORE HUMAN THAN WE WISH TO BE...
Delivery: Whispered
Meaning: The first two lines are statements directed at the man's wife. They
had quite simply met and fell in love before either had fully matured. The
last lines repeat the idea of being more human (flawed, imperfect) than one
would wish to be. This theme and references to it run the entire course
of the work, from "Of Two Beginnings" and the insecurities of the boy, to
"Ending Theme"'s uncertainty, to the lines "from your flaws learn to
forgive" in "Fandango," all the way to that
extreme statement in "Waking Every God" - "wishing to be God." I could go on
mentioning instances, but it should be pretty obvious by now just where the
references are, and rather than beat a dead horse, I will go on and mention
the other idea I see interacting very much with this theme: forgiveness. It
seems that out of the recognition of our humanity and flawed natures,
loathesome at times as they might be, we gain the ability to forgive. This
is put across very well throughout the work. Whether it be those great lines
in "Fandango" or the entirety of "Chain Sling" (which is
really the chronological conclusion of the album), the concept of
forgiveness coming from self-awareness of one's own imperfection and need to
be forgiven is a key factor in this theme and what makes the album work so
well. Having reached the end, we finally fully understand that epiphany
in "Of Two Beginnings" - freedom is a state of mind. In the closing seconds,
the echoing chant, "Die" finally fades out of existence.
Final Note on the album as a whole:
For those who haven't really worked out the chronological order of songs, it
would go like this:
First Part of "Of Two Beginnings"
"Second Love"
"Dryad of the Woods"
"Fandango"
"A Trace Of Blood"

"Rope Ends"
"This Heart Of Mine (I Pledge)"
"Waking Every God"
"Undertow"
"Ending Theme"
"Remedy Lane"
"Beyond the Pale"
Last Part of "Of Two Beginnings"
"Chain Sling"