ISSN: 2277-5536 (Print); 2277-5641 (Online)

THE ROLE OF FATHER IN VARIOUS STAGES OF MENTAL GROWTH

PROCESS OF THE SONS CHILD AND COMPARISON OF THESE
PATTERNS WITH THE PATERNAL FUNCTION ROLE IN THIS
PROCESS
Page | 85

Kourosh Sasani*1, Ali Nikyar2

MA of Clinical Psychology, Qazvin Branch, Islamic Azad University, Qazvin, Iran
2
Assistant Professor, Department of Psychology, Qazvin Branch, Islamic Azad University,
Qazvin, Iran
*Corresponding Author
1

ABSTRACT
In most articles and available books in the field of growth and analytical psyche psychology, to role of the
mother as the first available objectivity in the child's life has paid and deals and numerous matters have
been written about it. But less in these matters on the role of the father at that sensitive time of the child's
life has emphasized and its various dimensions has been investigated this article looking analytical and
psychoanalytical to investigating the role of the father in various stages of mental- social growth process
the sons child pay. In addition, the presence of a third party in pre-oedipal stage and in paternal function
format with presence of the father in this period and as well as growth later stages were compared.
Methodology in this study is descriptive and analytical and type of content analysis. The study results
showed that the presence undeniable effects with father quality, since the time of birth, in forming
traditional or modern gender identity in boys is and shows the paternal function and the role of the father
in the child's life and his mental growth process in stages of the pre-oedipal from each other are distinct,
and father at this stage and as well as stages of the oedipal and post-oedipal sons life, roles and specific
characteristics in order to facilitating the identification process has. Therefore authentication and achieve
to degree acceptable of manhood and consistency of masculine identity requires the presence of father in
the education and training process sons child is. And this presence has an important role in forming the
sons child masculine identity.

KEYWORDS: father, son, growth stages, paternal function

INTRODUCTION
Boy in an environment where men trimmed and little presence have, they grow up [1]. Men face pale little
boys to grow up [1]. The home environment is the first person to see her mother, and in other environments
such as kindergartens, schools and playgrounds as well as more women are responsible for children [2] and
so the boys cannot direct way to learn how to be a man. Their knowledge is more indirect way, it also means
that women are [3].
If the roots starting this current since the beginning of the birth of a sons child has considered, we observe
that from pre-oedipal stage, the mother tends with her son, as an "other" has a relationship supportive [4].
This issue leads to loosening and shortening the period time of period pre-oedipal between mother and son
will. This vitiate acceleration of feeling coalesce of mother and son, causing that she in order to the
femininity deny and as well as separation and individuation will accelerate [5].
But in where that father has relative presence, cannot show himself as a perfect man to his son, as a human
with powers and weaknesses, with joys and sorrows, and of course with his own fears and disabilities [6].
One reason for this issue is that fathers usually appears with exhaustion and intellectual involvement related

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to their jobs at home. Or in the form of a strong and strict human intention to training. At best case, as a
good manager for family planning [7]. However, but for his sons a half-man, remain, an illustration, not
existing and real man. On the other hand their own problems to cope with their inner feelings, prevents that
a strong emotional relationship with their sons establish.
Boys at younger ages, from depending pre-oedipal put aside, a stronger sense than the atomized "self" has,
Page | 86 from the others and away from the world and readiness more separation have. Feature more harsh
suppression of post-oedipal feelings in boys, forcing them in away from the inner feelings are more serious
[8].
Masculine character in comparison with female character, has choices that are less based on the preferences
emotional foundations, and more relies on the principles of regularities, general categories and abstract
principles is. Finally, the formation of gender identity in boys that their senses is focus on male to femaleusually is more brittle, because this identity versus "other" is defined female and motherhood that they as
paradoxically (unconsciously or consciously) feeling depth depending to it have. To meet with fearful
female (and also ideal) that threatens the inside and outside, boys and men will resort to extensive defensive
measures to identify the boundaries between male and female defense and will defense from it. [5].
In most articles and available books in the field of growth and analytical psyche psychology, to role of the
mother as the first available object in the child's life has paid and deals and numerous matters have been
written about it. Objectivity but less in these matters on the role of the father at that sensitive time of the
child's life has emphasized and its different dimensions have been investigated [9].
Freud is one of the first people who proposed much debate about the presence of father in process of child's
mental growth that their most influential is oedipus complex debate [8].
On the other hand, so far has less paid to concept of "paternal function" in of child growth process in preoedipal stage [10]. For this reason this function, that's why this works, is full of small and large angles that
still has remained hidden and obscure.
If winnicott [2] emphasized on the importance of the mother-child relationship, vared [11] suggested that
it is better in contemporary psychoanalysis to primary relations look at as a triangle that if its two primary
vertices are mother and child, its third vertex is father or paternal function.
By using vard proposal, understand to the importance of paternal function to investigation of therapeutic
relation. However, deyvidz[12] acknowledged that therapists have more tendency attention to the role of
the mother and maternal objectivity in primary relations so that to the role of father or paternal objectivity
pays .
Jones [10] extensive experimental studies to clarify the role of the father in the child's psychological growth
done. Especially on children who, in its early years growth for any reason from having father have been
denied. This study in the field of moral and social growth and relations with peer, self-concept, self-esteem
and in about boys on their male identity done. Jones also examined the role of father absence and its impact
in teenagers life: wrongdoing and misdemeanor, alcohol and drug use, and other psychiatry problems.
Seligman [13] done their research on a variety of men and women who their fathers in terms of emotional
and feeling are non-existent and poor people, and the main talk in mother's house say. He suggested that
such people have a "half and incomplete life" because supportive father in their lives is not that talk about
separation from their mothers and doing any work. This children have been placed in a wolf and ewe space,
non distinct and callous (not quite remained within the uterus and not quite came out but also on the edge
of is or is not have lived). In fact their birth, life and half and incomplete growth were experienced. All
these the result of was not a vital element in this peoples life were that could separated them from the mother
or the first conservers.

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Burgner [8] in continuation of seligman works and as a result of research on several of his patients that
before age 5 were deprived from father realized that these people because they have not been able to be
separated from their mother and a erratic reciprocating relationship with mother have in adulthood than the
become partner and or become father or mother have a feeling of desperation.
Done researches in this field, all indicated that right understanding of the role and position and duties of
Page | 87 father in different growing periods of child or children and as well as looking principle to paternal function
could be valuable help both the therapists and both the fathers have offer so that every one have behavior
and more correct look to their work and activity[14].
Human infants at beginning birth only in relation to the first conservers the initial (mother or its replace)
is place. With receive timely the needs response, love and security experience and the mental original core
namely i or ego formed in him [10].
According to freud, in the oedipal stage, child in the deep emotional relation with the opposite gender parent
plays. Starting replication process the child entered modeling process will be of parent of the agreeing
gender. Namely child boy who has unconscious imitation with the mother will enter into a relationship
with his father, and began to imitation with him. Imitation with the father namely imitation with the man.
Namely become male. A process which in psychoanalytic the masculinization process male said. Namely
gain masculine identity even in term of gender and even in personality general.
To get masculine characters like desire to independence, willingness to accept responsibility, both in
emotional relations and in social responsibilities , power assertiveness and its strong expression, having
authority, social positive ambitions, overcoming assess reality logic on blind emotions, and characteristics
such as the masculine psyche properties are considered. To achieve this male character, the most important
issue is the relationship between father and son (15).
Therefore, given the important role of father in child growth process, the paper is sought to answer the two
basic and important questions:
(1) the role of paternal function and the role of father in child growth process (and in here son) what is the
difference between with each other?
(2) if the stages of son growth based on pre-oedipal and oedipal and post-oedipal divided, father in each
of these courses what roles is responsible?

METHODOLOGY
Among the more used methods of research in the men studies field, qualitative methods are. For doing this
study, especially with regard to topics analysis from descriptive _analytical method from type of content
analysis was used.
Content analysis is techniques related to the documents method in the humanities. The documents method
said to all methods that in them the purpose of study , analyze and investigation of documents and texts will
be fulfilled.
As the name of content analysis is clear, this technique to content analysis pays and attempt by using
analysis the data in about text extract that having own special features is.
Data gathering tool
Used tools and resources in this method, are the books and articles in this field written.
Strategy articles searches

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Page | 88

1. The use of keyword father, the father's role in the child growth process, son, paternal function,
being male, manhood , masculinity identity and similar titles for searching persian articles in
databases iranian.
2. The use of key words father and the father's role and parenting and boyhood and masculinity and
masculine identity and their combinations for searching language english articles.
3. There is no time limit for articles searches was not considered.
Articles that were close in issue this paper were separated. In all cases, articles reference lists were also
review until related research to this issue, that was not keywords searching, harm pen. The authors, each of
separately, to check the quality of articles in terms of findings analysis had not significant shortcomings
and after experts group arbitration had published and on the suitability of their quality there was opinion
unity, chosen for this overview. It should be mentioned that in done searches in persian language, acceptable
and significant article that in concepts related to this article topic to be closed or considered in such
discussions was not found. So the authors of the article decided that work foundation playced in based on
articles and english-language books. In most cases, the full paper was available, and in other cases abstract
was investigated.
Select articles criteria
1- published persian and english-language articles in scientific- research journals in inside and outside
of country.
2. Articles that of mental growth issues and problems in boys and men investigated and or reported.
In each stages of this research, done studies as a qualitative examined , so with the analysis of considered
issues and concepts can achieve to strategies to quality optimization of father-son relations.
For this purpose, after collecting desired papers, this papers taken place under the analysis process. The
order of the meta-analysis, is study and research in which information and other research results take place
together and will combine, until lead to the emergence of a better view in about one issue. It should be
mentioned that in this paper, in order the "paternal function", a series of activities, interactions and coherent
dimensions is that necessarily does not assign to specific action or activity, and is composed of various
aspects and applications.
Research findings
Paternal function
Previous studies in this field show that in view of the father position and the paternal structure in family
space, must distinguish between act and actor [16].
Activity and the role of the third leg of the mother and child relationship (namely person exception of this
two people) plays , more than person himself has important.
Paternal function four main role in child growth process in the early years of his life plays [17]. Then each
of these roles will be examine.
Separation (mother-child link separator): one of the main roles of paternal function,
separating the child from the mother or the first conservers in the early years of growth is[18].
[2] in this regard, winnicott, says: " nothing is not like a child ... A child can not be alone, but alone is
a part of relation."

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Page | 89

To better and more understand the nature of mother-child relationship, winnicott suggests:
important ideas about human psychological growth, because infant in beginning birth, does not
have coherent and structured ego, to his growth the mother requires that plays for his the role of
(auxiliary) ego.
(3) but gradually and with the child's growth, formatting ego in him start and continue. But for the child
to achieve to an independent ego , an urgent need to separation of the relationship with the mother has.
In fact, he should be able to gradually from the primary link that made with mother, come out. People
importance and having an independent ego and or a distinct individuality (self) is what seligman [13]
also strong emphasis has on it.
With regard to mentioned items and clinical experiences, it seems existence of a separator objectivity in the
child's growth stages in order to prevent from mental disorders is undeniable [19].
On the other hand, rarely in analytical psychology texts with such a claim we are face which must and
necessarily this person(third party/ separator) must be male [14].
Therefore, this traditional idea, that the structure and family classic architecture must be play this role, it
is questionable [19].
Myalu [16] according to drive lacan's theory and winnicott ideas said that no relationship "mother-child"
alone can not to separation ends and surely needs to third object (either as real or extra-mental) that doing
this work.
The main efficacy paternal function is finding and discover of correct affective-emotional until gradually
the boundaries of child formed and he could between "i" and "other" distinguished and this subject on this
subject that genus and gender this separator is what , has preferred [10].
Now the main question that arises is this whether this process "relationship with a man," or "with a third
party" which plays such a role? In fact, we want to know that third party gender in the triangle what role
has? Or just his presence will cause such functional?
Can answer this question as, it is important that third party for child the person engaging and exciting is
that child can simulation with him [20]. For example, grandfather, aunt, partner or mother beloved, the
older sister or brother, father.
Target and funagi [9] introduced a two-parent family structure that during which each of the parents the
different roles execute.
Rotman [21] the matter sees of another valve: he said instead of focusing on of the child simulation with
third party, should the mother's capacity in establishing relation with this third party pay.
In this sense, partner or mothers husband the role of "to drag himself (pull) for the mother and push
for the child in reciprocal relationship the mother-child has.
Intimacy between couples requires that the child recognizes his relationship with his mother is unique and
this relation leads pressure to him that can to be somewhat isolated.
Recent studies show that children more than what until now was thought for employing and engaging with
the around world have ability.
In this regard, mahler, payen and bergman [18] said that child in some respects can alone himself the
process of own- differentiation control so that in general, in all aspects requires a foreign element is.
Gergely [22] also regarding the concept of coexistence noted that child with biological growth, this
possibility finds that doing separation process himself. Miler [23] said that the process of separation and
individuation "simply," is not visible and tangible but more a feeling of separation is.

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From this discussions can be concluded that in contemporary psychoanalysis, the purpose the main task of
the paternal function, cognitive and physical separation between mother and child is not, but adjusting and
balancing, unique empowerment and attachment between mother and child is.
According to samuels [24], the paternal function the role of significant dependence diluent and primary
between mother and child has. In other words, can say that the main task of the paternal function in this
Page | 90 stage, facilitating the separation between mother and child through the conversion of primary adhesions
these two to healthy dependence is; and subject gender this work, has not important.
However, rotman [21] pointed that the relationship between the mother and the third party in order to the
separation process operating has another important that he called it "triangular space" that in the child's
mind create and capacity for representation in him are creates.
(2)facilitating the mental structure and increasing the thinking capacity:
Funagy and target [25] suggested that ego growth is highly dependent on existence a third party that
can reflect on the child relational experiences. Ideally, the child's imaginations and conceptions, his
cloning, reflects internal can all a mental structure create in him.
In fact the other important task of the paternal function, increasing thinking capacity and internalize self
models and others is. Bruk asted- brain [26] believed that repair and modification the various components
of the childs psyche and helping their integration also including paternal function activities is.
In term of melanie klein, the concept of " genitals as liaison " can provide an internal structure that allowing
the recognition and diagnosis of one person various components and his internal objectivities gives. He said
that " genitals as liaison " that child pursusion that relationship or a combination between the father and
the mother in mind create, and the a canalize experience forming of manhood or femininity in his facilitates.
Reznik [27] said that components of father body physiological (especially bumps and his genital) an
important role in finding structure thinking and forming symbolically his mind are.
Bayonne [28] also noted the difference between the breast and the pintle in the child's life and said breast
for child is relationship and another symbol but his pintle is relational symbol between parents with each
other.
Therefore, both of them along with child will create a triangular structure that thinking field in him will
shape. The presence of a third element (genital) look the child from primary relation with mother will
return towards him [26].
The task of the motherly function, carriers of content and the task of the paternal function, structuring and
organizing content is [10].
Samuels [24] believed that these two structures should not necessarily be implemented by two opposite
gender, but can also by two persons of the same gender would be applied, that it depends on life form and
the relationship of the couple has.
Target and fonagi [9] showed that if the mother's partner, the presence of surrounding, environmental and
away in mother and childs life is, the transfer of this growth structural (in terms of mind thinking and
organizing) hardly and difficulty will happen.
(3) facilitation of child's feelings and emotions management: paternal function is facilitator the
creation of capacity and capability of this emotional management. Herzog [29] said that growth of this
capacity to their tolerance in versus the deprivation and management the strong effects of father role
has.
(5) as the mother feelings is soft and subtle, the father feelings is powerful and intense, therefore,
the presence of father with such a feelings can be balance the childs emotional structure and
enhancing ability to deal with the stress in him.

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Father through teaching methods for organizing, modeling and control and using this strong
feelings can teaching to child this management so he in the face of the world become flexible.
Simulation mother with the child (borders merger, etc.), child's permanent fear of fragility, as the fragility,
immaturity and dependency and his natural tendency to his primary maternal preoccupation (because
Page | 91 separation for mother is painful) directly to a child a safe environment, without any contact with the outside
world provides.
The term (the good-enough father of whatever sex) for the first time samuels in 1996 year, entered the
psychoanalytic literature.
For doing the child's paternal function as an lybidinal objectivity needs and for motherly function function
as an katksys object [10].
If true father in the child's life is not present should be present an reparative object until one triangular cycle
form and child can pays to share and different feelings experience.
(4) providing psychological security: paternal objectivity can protect from child in front of his
surrounding world and also negative feelings in relation his mother occurs to him.
(5) labvicy and diatekin [30] greenspan [31] and david's [12] said that this subject the relationship
between mother and child from childs hostility and hatred protect.
Minskay [19] suggest that the father support the mother (he safe her) because the mother support the child
and give him security.
Winnicott in 1987 showed that when one of the parents than child has hatred feel other parent can love and
will be replaced him [2].
The role of the father in pre-oedipal stage
After freud that somehow was the first person who talked about the importance of the status and role of
father in child growth stages, low-valed [32] in 1951 was among the first person that special role of father
in child growth process and the early years of his life, explained.
He acknowledged that in the period of the child's life, the father roles such as organizing the childs
psychological growth process, separator and helping the process of child's self- emancipation from primary
bond with mother, and the child's ego consolidation responsible.
He believed that child grow health need to representation of the outside world and or realistic the outside
world for him is. He also noted that one of the most important duties of father in a child's life, the protection
of the child return to primary narcissistic position is.
Ablin [14] said that the primary role of father in this process the facilitator of separation and individuation
process is. He and his allies believed that the father not only main patrons of child to explore and search is,
but also the role of strengthening in a feeling of childs agency and empowerment has.
Mahler and gusliner [33] said that in addition to these roles father the role of inhibitory have until the child
to primary relation of bordering and symbiosis (and a borderless) with the mother does not return. Indeed,
according to them, the father both of persuasion and deterrence role with together has.
It seems that in a patriarchal society the role of persuasion to explore and research in outside world (for
child) have more masculine, as well as the role of deterrence and prevent a return to coexistence.
Therefore, the role of father in this process can be summarized as follows:

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organizing the process of child growth

distinguish and separate
integration of childs ego
represents the outside world and surrounding world for the child
the most important item in order to provide the necessary conditions for self-release the child from the
Page | 92 mother
presence in order to prevent the return of the child to the stage of primary narcissism
facilitating the entry and passing from stage of mental growth separation and individuation
The role of father in the oedipal stage
Diamond [15] acknowledged that a son for a acceptable simulation needs father is that can be his son small
projections around sensual wish than the mother has, tolerate, can with sons abhorrence consequences in
own against well be facing (metabolize and transformation), and allow him a deal nondefense, without
hostile, freely with mother has.
He believes that if these conditions prove, the son the health of his gender simulation with flexible manhood
will do, which this issue more opportunity to him to participate and relationships with the quality will.
He also believes that fatherly image requires an masculine objectivity in the oedipal stage is. Something
that winnicott and deyvidz also confirmed it [2, 12]. In fact the manhood structure dependent and related
to behaviors, opinions and attitudes of the child's life males is[34].
Briefly the role of the father at this stage can be categorized as follows:
father can be tolerate the small projections his son around sensual wish than the mother has.
father can with son hatred behaviors toward him treated well.
father allow him a nondefense encounter, without inimically and freely with the mother has.
The role of the father in post-oedipus stage to adulthood
After crossing the son of oedipal stage and moving to teenager stage and then adulthood stage, the role of
father to his son would change, because the son to simulation and during the identification process to
paternal pattern needs and to achieve this, it is necessary a healthy relationship between father and son take
the form [35]
This relation in kind of its normal should have certain characteristics, that are including:
Father in a romantic relationship with the son enter. Namely the relationship is not cooling and vital
energy from father to son will give. The boy accepted the message, the message, "you are good." and in
that context he can be close to his father without fear and intimacy and trust will form. If relationship does
not intimacy , then simulation process would not form [36].
Father is not very distant and idealized. In childhood ,parent is always idealized for child namely
the symbol of power, the power that is the security. The boy wants to be like his father. But rate of
this idealized and its change direction is important.
In a normal growth and in a intimate and real relationships in child older path the rate of the this idealized
is being gradually until the time teenager that teenager feels not only can like the father but can be better
and high than father. And in young period, young with father real face encounters. With weaknesses and
powers [6].
Namely the fact of father existence for young tangible and accessible will. But if father is away from son
and very idealized namely that the intentional and without intentional (as a result his own unconscious

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conflicts), the son his distance from the father sees far and he is seen very high and powerful and in this
situation, to get to him and thus to his manhood image the distance sees high as far as that power going this
distance does not seen for himself, and ultimately does not move. Namely the ideal is such away that can
not be access to it. In this situation, the simulation process namely the unconscious modeling with fathers
manhood will completely impaired [37].
Page | 93

Father does not strict. The law in the house is the fathers law. Father is manifestation of law and order
and son must abide. If he does not learn to follow the fathers law in the future also to societys law does
not respect and therefore does not civilized namely systematic . But this phenomenon has not marked
border.
In a normal process from followed percent of hundred begins but does not end to following percent of
hundred namely in the growth process, child and teenager should gradually learning saying "no". " can be
changed fathers law and the new law replaced it." this known sentence should be in the teenager mind
create.
Father in relation with son teaches to be regulated to him. But if he learn the law, the only is own
law, then son does not passed the process became male and the child does not remain. Father
ordering must transfer to son and son ordering when the son law replaced the father law is in some
cases is formed [26].
Namely, son receive this message of father that you can in some cases is different law from my law have
and also our sincere relationship will continue [15].
If son fear of father punishment, what respect laws, what does not, in terms of mental growth remains
child and ethics forming in him in its type most primitive namely " observe the law of punishment fear
" will remain.
Father the desired image from self for son create: because creation this desired image can be arouse the
son to do simulation and appropriate identification process and significant pattern for son provide [38].
Moreover, the presence of the father in sons life, causing creation a sense of pride and encouragement in
him is .
The father acceptable and suitable relationship with mother has: because in addition to father
the main sons pattern for simulation and identification is, how his relationship with his wife (the
mother of the child) also has a large effect on over sons view to the subject of the relationship with
the opposite sex [6]
Father, son and his abilities discover: by doing this work the father provides good atmosphere for growth
and development his son and he would enable with appropriate modeling from the father, and being seen
on behalf of the father and receiving his support on the right track will grow and his own independent
identity will find.
However, if father aware or unaware entering the jealous or destructive relation and does not see his abilities
and independence then son could not find his own individual and dependence identity and grow in a healthy
way [31].

DISCUSSION & CONCLUSION

With regard to the first question of this article and discussed results in the previous sections in the paternal
function field and its difference with the father's role, can be seen that paternal function has four main role
and more than the subject is important do and its content for grow and childs identification is important.
These roles include:

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(1)
separating
the
child
from
the
first
conservers
(2) facilitator the mental structure forming and the capacity of thinking in child
(3) facilitator the management structure of child excitement (especially in the face of aggression)
(4) provider the psychological security for the child
Page | 94
However, the role of father, features and other capabilities in a child's life create and look and investigation
of this role regardless of the paternal function is also possible.
In fact, it can be said that in the framework of the paternal function, what is important only is the presence
of a third person in mother and the childs life not gender and person ratio with the mother and child.
The purpose of third person is that binary relation between mother and child to one triple relationship
convert than the triangular space created the optimum conditions for growing child provide. Certainly one
of choices for playing the role of "third party" is the child's father.
But given the above mentioned issues we find that unlike the psychoanalysts earlier idea about father
function, there is no commitment this "third party" certainly is the "father" of the child and the "father" can
in his child's life the separate paternal roles, that distinct from the paternal function is, and only can be in
some cases these roles with benefits and efficacy of the paternal function have overlaps, plays [39].
In about the second question of this paper, as we seen father in sections and different periods of sons
growth have different roles and duties. If the father can play these roles and obtaining the necessary features,
son, will become male with masculine characteristics and successful in his emotional and social life in the
future.
And if this characteristics does not exist , in terms of mental growth the son will still remain child and child
will step into adult society and involving the consequences that will be that exactly if child in seven or eight
years in the adult world leave, will suffered to them.
Namely son mentally is castrated. Mental castration is means lack of or severe lack of masculine characters
in a person is that in terms of physiology is man [39].
Therefore authentication and achieve to degree acceptable of manhood and consistency of masculine
identity requires the presence of father in the education and training process sons child is. And this presence
has an important role in forming the sons child masculine identity.
To deal properly with this problem chodorow (1999) suggested [5] that men in father position from
beginning the birth of the child are involving in raising and educating children. If this presence is
insufficient can undermine and disrupt the boy's psychosocial-social growth process [39].

REFERENCES
1. Sasani, c. (1393). Investigation the forming process psychological of married men expectations
from his masculine identification and its compare with their husbands expectations of this
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