Author Carolyn Brent on Aging Parents, Caregiving Issues, Family Relationships

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 5 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent whose book Why Wait? The
Baby Boomers Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parents Death launches on Amazon on Tuesday November
15, 2011.
Author Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A. is a former clinical educational manager in the pharmaceutical industry. She is an avid activist and advocate working with the U.S. Congress for the purpose of creating
change to protect seniors and veterans from nancial and medical
abuse. She has appeared on many local and national TV and radio
shows, and is a sought-after keynote speaker.
Yesterday, Carolyn visited Yvonne Perry at http://deathdyingafterlife.blogspot.com/2011/11/virtual-interview-with-author-carolyn-brent.html, where they talked about important family questions around support and being prepared.
Today, Id like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her some questions
on understanding various dierent family relationships and what to do/expect.
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Kathleen H. Wheeler: With 60% or more of families estimated to be dysfunctional in some way due to divorce, blended families, mental illness or some form of addiction, do you feel these dysfunctional families
will be capable of responding eectively to the escalating caregiving challenge of their aging parents?
Carolyn A. Brent: Great Question! Contact an elder law attorney for guidance on ling for guardianship or a
Power of Attorney (POA) if your parent is already having trouble making decisions on his or her own behalf. Typically, these documents are led in family courts. Its best to work with a specialized elder law attorney at this point
so everything can be done in a manner that no one else can challengeor would want to challenge.
Also, I wish I would have known about a sibling contracts are customized to cover the unique situation being experienced by the siblings who are party to the agreement. (I could certainly have used this with my siblings who
did not get involved with Dads care until he was incapacitated). A sibling contract takes the pressure o sibling
caregivers on the back end of caregiving, because things have been discussed and spelled out clearly at the
front end.
Kathleen H. Wheeler: What advice can you oer for family caregivers dealing with a hostile and uncooperative parent unwilling to accept their illness, mental decline and obvious need for assistance?
Carolyn A. Brent: Contact a medical professional for help! If your parent is at risk of harming themselves or others, you should call the paramedics, police, or adult protective services. You must seek professional help, because
this can be a bigger problem than you think. The safety of you and your parents are the most important thing you

can do when you are dealing with a hostile and uncooperative parent. Keep in mind, your parent is not aware of
their illness but you are.
Kathleen H. Wheeler: How would you describe your relationship now with your family, especially your twin
sister, after twelve years caring for your father through serious family disagreements, accusations and legal
challenges?
Carolyn A. Brent:

Best description to your question is this! There isnt a relationship with my twin or the other

family members that attracted me for the Pot of Gold that simply did not exist.
However, I have forgiven my twin and family. While going through the healing process and looking back and
questioning what helped? Why? And for what purpose? I learned about the Kbler-Ross model, commonly known
as The Five Stages of Grief: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance. Once I clearly understood this
model, it helped me to realize that my family members and I were all at dierent stages in the grieving of our dad
and his illness. Because I was deeply involved hands on with my dad, I look back and can now see how we all
could have avoided such a tragic end. Overtime, I have reached the Acceptance stage. And, I mindfully avoid any
triggers that can throw me back to the Denial Anger Bargaining or Depression stage.
I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that youll check out her book Why Wait? The

Baby Boomers Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parents Death at
http://www.babyboomersguide.org/book-launch/pre-launch.html
Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading
your feedback.
AND be sure to follow Carolyn tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Dr.Caron Goode,
who will be interviewing Carolyn on her personal story and on communicating on a couple of touchy subjects. To visit that stop on the tour, go to either http://heartwiseparent.com/interview-with-carolyn-brent/
or http://academyforcoachingparents.com/blog/acpi/interview-with-carolyn-brent/
Tags:

aging parents

caregiving

family relationships

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This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Books, Caregiving, Dementia, Family Relationships, Relationships and tagged aging, aging parents, author, book, caregiving, carolyn a. brent, carolyn brent, family relationships, parents, virtual blog tour, why wait? on November 5, 2011 [http://www.authorkathleenhwheeler.-

com/2011/11/05/carolyn-brent-aging-parents-caregiving-issues-family-relationships/] .

5 thoughts on Author Carolyn Brent on Aging Parents, Caregiving Issues, Family

Relationships

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Jean Ferratier
November 7, 2011 at 1:59 pm

I really liked learning some new information. I think the sibling contract is something sensible to be considered. To often sibling issues of care taking can break a family apart when they most need to work together.

Kathleen H. Wheeler

Post author

November 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Totally agree, Jean, and think the sibling clause is a great idea if siblings can agree to it early on within a
caregiving scenario.

Joyce Joneschiet
November 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Great questions Kathryn! I really enjoyed this interview with Carolyn. Im looking forward to reading her
book and I encourage everyone to start this important conversation with their own parents.
Come visit my blog on day 9 and Id love it if youd leave a comment!
All the best,
Joyce

Kathleen H. Wheeler

Post author

November 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Thanks, Joyce!