Muslim Wedding

INTRODUCTION
Muslim Marriage (Nikah) is a civil contract between two persons - a man and a woman for conjugal life
and begetting children. It is a contract of a permanent nature, unless dissolved by divorce. It has attached
to it a notion of sanctity as well, since every step in its materialisation and dissolution is guided by
religious dictates.

MARRIAGE THROUGH THE AGES

Islam does not permit inter-religious marriages. Muslims used to give preference to cousins because of
some considerations like - pride of lineage and notions of purity of blood; family solidarity; the prospect of
the Jahez or dowry given to the daughter at the time of marriage remaining in the same family.

Family consideration is the most important factor, which is split into two categories - consideration
pertaining to the bridegroom, and consideration pertaining to the bride. The groom is supposed to be
qualified, hailing from status family, employed and of good nature. Whereas the bride has to be good
looking, well-behaved and possess good health. She must be also trained in household management
responsibilities.

MATCH MAKING
Like many other communities of the world, Muslims too give preference or priority to certain of their kin
while settling marriage. Due to some socio-cultural factors "cousins" occupy a significant place in the
matrimonial alliances and hence they evolved "cross cousin" and "parallel cousin" marriages, which are
still popular. The most probable reason for these sort of matrimonial alliances is that siblings separated by
marriage yearn to remain close to each other and hence they want their children to intermarry and give
the demonstration of "sibling solidarity."

The procedure of selection of the marriage partners is considered to be the most important factor: they
give every possible attention to this basic point. The match-making could be done among cousins but it is
not always possible. In most cases, it is the elderly ladies of the families concerned who take the lead in
the matter. They consider it their foremost duty to suggest marriage proposals for the marriageable girls
and boys. Other members of the family are also on the lookout for suitable young people. The elderly
ladies of the two parties, when they meet at some function or other the opportunity is availed of to discuss
the possibility of an alliance. As it is a family matter and previously contemplated, both parties give
authority to an elderly lady who settles a date for a talk between the families.

Another procedure is through interested friends and relatives, especially when a suitable match is not
available amongst near-relations. The third procedure is by ascertaining a suitable match through
servants, fruit and sweet vendors, barber's wife and the like who move among several families and are
able to render service to various families.

In the present society, though the old role of the parents still prevails, under the influence of Western
education more and more people consider it proper to take the consent of the young people directly or
indirectly with the help of friends and cousins. Matrimonial ads and marriage bureaus are increasingly
being used.

Negotiation starts after initiation through intermediaries and friends, and when concurrence has been
reached in settlement , they become more and more defined and details are discussed and a day fixed for
the final settlement.

It is the bridegroom's party that takes the initiative and makes the proposal for the marriage. But nowdays,
the bride's party takes the initiative and makes the proposal for the marriage.

As in initiation, so in negotiations, elderly ladies, mutual friends and close relatives play prominent role.
Apart from them, a unique personality known as Mushatta was accustomed to play a great role in the
marriage negotiations. A Mushatta is a working woman visiting well-to-do families to help young girls to
complete their toilet, etc. Because of their close associations and unchallenged access to different
families and mixing with them, they used to gain close and deep knowledge of the status of the different
families, the character of the individuals and their behaviour.

COSTUMES
The wedding dress for the girl includes a Sharara, which is a long following skirt and blouse. There is a
dupatta to cover the head. The groom wears a Sherwani or a traditional salwar and kurta. But there are
no hard and fast rules here.

RITUALS
Rituals Before Marriage
Istikhara and Imam-Zamin
Muslims complete the negotiation process with the ceremony of Istikhara. In this, it is customary to take
the consent of God for concluding the negotiation matter. Here, the Mujtahid (Religious Head) obtains the
consent of God with the help of a Tasbih (Rosary) and when the Istikhara is wajib (super affirmative), it is
considered that the marriage between the parties should be finally settled. The mother of the boy or some
other close woman relative (if the mother is dead), accompanied by her female friends and relations ,
pays a visit to the house of the girl with sweets and Imam Zamin to see the girl immediately after
Istikhara.

The guardians of the girl accept the sweets and entertain them with refreshments. In most cases the girl
is adorned and the women of the boy's family see the girl's face for the first time and the mother of the
boy ties the Imam Zamin round the upper portion of he bride's right arm ( a silver or gold coin wrapped in
a silken cloth). This ceremony is called the Imam Zamin ceremony.

Mangni (Betrothal)
Mangni is a popular marriage ceremony, which is fast making its presence felt at all Indian marriages. In
this ceremony, the female members of the boy's family visit the house of the girl, taking with them sweets,
fruits and vegetables. The sweets are distributed among the relatives and friends of the girl's family. In
return sweets, fruits and vegetables are sent to the boy's house and there also sweets are distributed
among the relatives and friends of the boy's family. Exchanging rings between the groom and the bride
does also take place.

Manjha
Manjha is a ceremony that starts a few days before the actual Nikah ceremony. The bride wears yellow
clothes and in some of the families, the bridegroom is also dressed in yellow clothes. During these days
the Nawan (Barber's wife) in the case of the bride, in Nai (Barber) in the case of the groom rubs Butna
(grounded mustard seeds) on the bride's and bridegroom's bodies and each in his or her own house and
they take their bath daily after that. This is continued after upto the day of Nikah. The bride is confined in
a separate room, which is avoided by male members who are older than her. In the case of groom, it is
necessary that during Manjha he should not go out of his house, but few are able to observe this
restriction. Girl friends and relatives entertain the bride with jokes and humour.

Among the Muslims, both at the residence of the bride and of the groom, women of both the sides sing to
the accompaniment of the Dholak (Drum). Grinded Mehendi (Myrtle)is applied to the hands and feet of
the bride of the bride before the actual marriage ceremony takes place, and in some families it is also
pasted on the hands of the groom.

Manjha is sent from the bride's side and it is the first occasion when specially the women of both sides
meet one another in close familiarity. The Manjha is taken out in a procession with music bands. The
main articles sent on such an occasion are the yellow robes of silk satin with golden fringes and
embroidery. Sweets and pindis (sugar preparations) are also sent in trays to be used by the groom to
improve his health and are eaten with milk. The pindis contain varieties of dried kernels of fruit and gum
shaped into round balls. They are also distributed among friends and relatives as a token of intimation of
the coming marriage.

Sanchaq
Sanchaq includes jewelleries and costly clothes which are sent from the groom's house to the bride for
use on the occasion of Nikah and Chowthi (another ceremony after Nikah). In Sanchaq, articles like, Nuth
(nose ring), Tika (forehead ornament), Ring, Suhag Pura (make-up goods for the day of Nikah), garlands,
Nuqals (a preparation of sugar), dried fruits, etc., are also included.

The procession of Sanchaq contains music bands and all sorts of articles in large pans known as
Khawans covered with gorgeous wrappings, the chief being a Matki or a jar with curd in it and fish tied to
the neck of this jar.

Marriage Rituals
Nikah
Invited guests and relations assemble at the bridegroom's place on the Nikah day when the groom wears
the clothes received from the bride's side. Sehra (a flower veil) is tied to the groom's forehead by the
brother-in-law, who in return receives some cash as a present from the elders of the family. The Parjas
i.e. Barber, Sweeper, Washerman, gardener, tailor and domestic servants, etc., are given money and
clothes to mark the auspicious occasion. The baarat then proceeds to the house of the bride.

Before the Nikah, dried dates, sugar and Nuqal are placed before the bridegroom. One of the Mujtahids
represents the groom while the other represents the bride's side. If the settlement of the Maher has not
taken place before, it is done on this occasion. The bride's Mujtahid, goes to the bride in the woman's
apartment and asks her three times whether she accepts the person concerned as her husband, with the
amount of Maher as settled and generally she answers in the affirmative. Then the Mujtahids from the
bride's side comes and takes his seat in the assembly. Then the Mujtahids of the groom's side asks the
groom three times whether he accepts the woman concerned as his wife with the amount of Maher as
settled and he answers in the affirmative. After this is done the Mujtahids of the bride's side recites the
Khutba (religious discourse) and then both the Mujtahids pronounce the Sigha of Nikah, and some
responsible persons from amongst the audience sign on the Nikahnama (marriage deed) as the witness.
Thus the Nikah is completed. Sehra (sort of poetry) is also recited in the praise of the poets in praise of
the groom and his family on this occasion.

Rituals After Marriage

Arsi Mushaf
The Arsi Mushaf is the occasion when the bridegroom first sees the face of the bride in a mirror held
between them. Arsi means a mirror and Mushaf means the Holyu Quran. The holy Quran is placed along
with the mirror for seeking divine blessing for both. A candle is held under the shawl spread over the
heads of both. The groom is also asked to write the Surat-Ikhas (a Holy verse) on the forehead of his wife
with the right hand pointing finger known as Kalmey-ki-unglee.

Salami
When the Arsi Mushaf ceremony is over, the bridegroom salutes (salam) the elders and gets presents
and money from them. The presents and cash are known as Salami.

Rukhsati
Before the Rukhsati, the Jahej (dowry), which generally includes clothes, ornaments, furniture, utensils,
etc and in some cases cash given to the bride by her parents, as well as presents from his friends and
relatives, are displayed.

Kheer Chatai
In this, the bride and groom are seated face to face and some kheer (milk pudding) is put in a plate,
before them. The groom puts a spoon full of Kheer into the bride's mouth. Then comes the turn of the
bride.

Runumai or Face Showing

The face showing ceremony (Runumai) takes place after the ceremony of Kheer Chatai when close
relatives and female friends of the groom's family look at the bride's face and offer presents in cash or
kind.

Bridal Night
A secluded room is decorated with flowers and buntings, etc., for the newly-wedded pair and the bride
and groom are left in the chamber.

Walima Feast
Walima Feast is also of religious significance. The father or the guardian of the groom gives this feast at
his residence generally on the next day of the marriage. Relatives, friends, acquaintances, Beradari
fellows and mohalla people attend this feast.

Chowthi
It is said the first feast after marriage in the house of the bride. At this ceremony also the bride and groom
sit opposite each other and a female companion of the bride, who remains under a veil, put some
vegetables and fruits in the hands of the bride and then holding her wrists, throw them in the lap of the
groom. He also repeats the same. This is known as Chowthi and after the bride and the groom have
played, the young ones of both sides are divided in two and stop the same. Slender sticks wrapped in
flowers are also used to strike each other. After the elders pronounce the command to stop, all sit down
laughing, talking and enjoying jokes. The groom then receives amount in cash amounts as well as some
presents.

Chalas
Chalas denote feasts for the groom and the bride, given in succession by the near relatives, chiefly from
the bride's side. The uncles, aunts, brothers and sisters each invite the pair for lunch/dinner and also give
presents.
CELEBRATIONS
Music & Dance
The Dominies or house-hold dancing girls dance
in the Zenana (women's apartment) demand Gur-
Chawal also before starting their dance. They
naver sing in the assembly of men. They cut jokes
at the cost of the Samdhans (female near relatives
of the bride and the groom) at each other's house.
On the wedding night also they recite satirical and
facetious songs relating to the guests and
relatives of the groom which provide good
amusement to the hearers.

Muslim Wedding
Ceremony
Muslim wedding ceremony is celebrated with
grandeur. Muslim wedding, known as 'Nikaah' in Urdu, can take place at any convenient time, because
there is nothing like muhurat (the auspicious time) for the Muslims. Traditionally, the Muslim wedding is
held at either the bride or the groom's home. However, in the present time, due to convenience and the
availability of enough space to accommodate the long list of guests, Muslim weddings are organized in
banquet halls, auditorium as well as community centers. Wherever the wedding is held, all the rituals of
the three phases of wedding are strictly followed by the Muslims.

Muslim wedding is divided into pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding rituals. Pre-wedding rituals
largely involve the exchange of sweets, fruits and visits to the bride and groom's houses. The pre-
wedding rituals increase the level of excitement among the families of the bride and groom, who keenly
look forward to the wedding day. The wedding is organized in an elegant and charming way, while the
culmination of the entire ceremony, known as post wedding rituals, is special in its own terms. If you are
keen about knowing more about Muslim wedding, then go through our section, where we have provided
detailed information on the rituals of Muslim wedding.

Muslim Pre-Wedding Rituals

Known as 'Nikah' in Urdu, the Muslim marriage is the most important ceremony for the Islam. It is a much
awaited occasion, wherein the union of two souls is celebrated in an elegant and charming way. It is not
just restricted to a single day. The formal procedures are divided into pre-wedding, wedding and post
wedding, each being different from the other.

Muslim Wedding Rituals

Wedding is an important turning point in everyone's life. The ceremonious occasion is organized and
celebrated in myriad ways all around the world. Different communities of the society have their own way
of organizing the most important occasion. The wedding rituals are broadly divided according to the
religions.

Muslim Post-Wedding Rituals

In India, wedding is something that cannot be restricted to a single-day celebration. People in different
communities, following different religions, have their own way of honoring the newly wed couple, post
marriage. The post-wedding rituals followed by Muslims are divided into four phases, wherein the bride is
bid goodbye by her family and is welcomed to her 'new home', by the groom's family.

Muslim Wedding (Nikah)

Muslim Wedding or Nikah is celebrated on a grand scale for a period of five-days. Muslim wedding can
be conducted at any convenient time, as there is no concept of auspicious time. The Nikah ceremony can
take place either at the bride or bridegroom's residence or at a place that is convenient for both parties.
Just as in any other Indian wedding, here too marriage ceremonies can be divided into pre-wedding,
wedding and post-wedding celebrations.

Pre-Wedding Rituals:

Here is a short description of the pre-wedding rituals followed in a typical Muslim Nikah.

• Legan Chir: When the date of marriage is finalized, cash present is sent to the bride's father by
the groom's father. The ceremony is known as Legan Chir.

• Day 1 and Day 2 Ceremonies: On days one and two, first the bride's people and then the
groom's, go to the other party's house, carrying mehendi paste in a plate. The children carry
candles, which are lit before entering the respective houses. Dinner is served and songs teasing
both the boy and girl are sung.

• Manjha Ceremony: On the third day, manjha ceremony takes place. The prospective bride is
seated on a small square table and anointed with haldi (turmeric) provided by the boy's family.
Following this ceremony, a married friend will accompany the bride everywhere and at all times.
This friend will also spread the turmeric over the bride's whole body before she bathes. For this
ceremony the bride is supposed to wear yellow clothes and no jewelry. There is, again, much
celebration and singing.

• Mehndi Ceremony: The Mehndi ceremony is held at the home of the bride on the eve of the
wedding ceremony or a couple of days before it. Following the tradition, the female relatives of
the bride anoint her with turmeric paste to bring out the glow in her complexion. A relative or a
mehndiwali applies mehndi on the hands and feet of the bride. The event has a festive feel to it
with the women singing traditional songs. The bride wears sober clothes on the day. According to
custom the bride must not step out of the house for the next few days until her marriage. The
bride's cousins sometimes apply a dot of mehndi on the palm of the groom.

Wedding Rituals:

Muslims observe a unique set of rituals at the time of their wedding. Please read on to find out how
Muslim Nikah is conducted.
• Welcoming the Baraat: The groom arrives at the wedding venue with a wedding procession or
baraat consisting of relatives and friends. A band of musicians strike up some traditional notes to
announce their arrival. The groom shares a drink of sherbet with the bride's brother. The bride's
sisters play pranks and slap the guests playfully with batons made of flowers.

• Nikaah: It is on day four the actual Muslim Nikaah or wedding ceremony takes place. Nikah can
be conducted at the home of the bride or the groom, or at any other convenient venue. The
nikaah ceremony is presided over by the qazi or law officer. The qazi appoints two men as
witnesses (Gawah) on the groom's behalf, to receive orders for the nikah from the bride's family.
In addition to the presence of two witnesses, the presence of the two 'Walis' (the bride's and the
bridegroom's father) is also necessary. The bride's father is required to care for and protect her
rights and the groom's father to endorse his rights.

In orthodox Muslim communities, the men and women are seated separately in Zenana (for
woman) and Mardaana (for men). The Maulvi reads selected verses from the Quran and the
Nikaah is complete after the Ijab-e-Qubul (proposal and acceptance). The validity of the Nikaah
depends on proposal on one side, usually the groom's (Ijab) and acceptance on the other side,
the bride's (Qubul). The mutual consent of the bride and groom is of great importance for the
marriage to be legal. Besides, the Islam marriage law demands that neither of the parties must
be legally incapacitated from entering into the marriage.

On the day of the Nikaah the elder members of the two families decide the amount of Mehar
(nuptial gift). In Muslim Nikah, Mehar is a compulsory amount of money given by the groom's
family to the bride. The qazi personally asks the bride if she has agreed to marry the groom and
whether she accepts the quantum of mehar. Once the bride gives her consent the qazi reads the
marriage contract to the groom. After the groom gives his consent, the Nikaah-Nama or marriage
contract must be signed by the bride, the bridegroom, their Walis, the witnesses and the Qazi.
The Nikaah-Nama also contains certain terms and conditions, which are in accordance with the
religion and agreeable to both parties. A noteworthy condition is that in case of a disagreement
between the two partners, the girl has a right to divorce her husband.

After the Nikaah-Nama is signed, the Qazi delivers a sermon called Khutba, consisting of verses
from the Quran which were recited by the prophet and which lay particular emphasis on
obligations toward women. The Qazi explains the meaning of these verses to the audience with
an explanation of the mutual rights and duties of the spouses.

• Blessing the Groom: After the wedding ceremonies are over the groom receives blessings from
the older women and offers them his salaam. The guests pray for the marital bliss of the newly
wed couple.
 • Dinner, Prayers and Aarsimashaf: Dinner is a lavish spread. Usually, the women and the men
dine separately. After dinner, the newly-weds sits together for the first time. Their heads are
covered by a dupatta while they read prayers under the direction of the maulvi (priest). The
Quran is placed between the couple and they are allowed to see each only through mirrors.

Post-Wedding Rituals:

Post-Wedding rituals followed in Muslim Nikah are similar to what we see in other Indian weddings.
However, here the customs are followed under different names and some cultural variations can be
observed.

• Ruksat: The bride's family bids her a tearful farewell before she departs for her husband's
house. The bride's father gives her hand to her husband and tells him to take protect and take
good care of her.

• Welcoming the Bride: At the groom's house, the groom's mother holds the Islamic Holy book
Quran above the head of her newly wed daughter-in-law as she enters her new home for the first
time.

• Chauthi: The Chauthi is the fourth day after the wedding. It is customary for the bride to visit the
home of her parents on this day. The bride receives a joyous welcome on this day.

• Valimah: The Valimah is the lavish reception that the groom's family hosts after the Nikaah. It is
a joyous occasion that brings together the two families, their relatives and friends.