Bulang, Jan Erwin F.

2011-97523

PHLO 184

On Feminist Separation and Power

Is it really indispensable to achieve separatist goals to achieve harmony and balance in
the society? We know for a fact that the status quo is in patriarchy but do we really have to
overthrow the system and change it with another. If so, then what the radical feminists have
always been trying to achieve is ultimately the same idea that they were against for. Feminist
separation is seen as the disconnection of women from various modes of men and from
institutions, activities, roles, relationships, and everything that are male-defined, dominated, and
constructed. It may be in the form of getting the way from your boyfriend or husband for
example in decision-making or process. I believe that this kind of particular action from women
only makes the situation worse, or may even create a more chaotic and imbalance proportion
between males and females. If I were to ask, I am more of reconciliation or setting a standard for
men and women to set aside their biological and societal differences and live as if there is no
role-barrier. To quote from Eli Siegel, the founder of Aesthetic Realism, the making one of
opposites is what we should aim for.1 I know that this phrase is somehow far from the truth
because in its logical extent, how could you make an opposition similar? However, what Siegel
tries to suggest, is for the reconciliation of both opposing entity [for this matter separation of
men from women], for example - it is clear that the reality is in motion and rest at once, change
and sameness at once. If that is the premise, we should also look ourselves as a change and
motion at once, change and sameness at once since we are all part of the reality. Therefore, I
dont think there is a greater significance if women try to separate themselves in terms of
hegemonic dominance against men.
My family I suppose is under the patriarchal set up, although I am not saying that my
mother has nothing to do with the direction of what the family tries to embark on, she has a say
of course. Nevertheless, she holds the financial and resources matter in our family. I used to ask
my mother before why she didnt pursue her college degree when she was almost in the middle
of graduation, she replied to me and said, Your father asked me to let go of my education and
instead took care of you my children. And I was like, isnt it injustice for her part to throw her
education where she can actually go to school and at the same time baby sit us. Sooner later I
found out that before they cant afford to hire a baby sitter. I used to ask the same question why
she didnt even bother to force my father to change his decision on discouraging her to find
work, she replied, she has no regrets at all since what she is doing is what she does best that is to
take good care of us, and that is what makes her a real mother. At first, it changes my outlook
towards my father for daunting my mother not to finish her college education, but soon I realize
that my mother doesnt even care at all. I know for some people who advocates feminist view
these are the situations or scenarios that grind their gears the most; but for personal and
individual basis, people should not blame my mother for not pursuing a career not because it was
what my father suggested but it was her personal decision and commitment that she vowed to
undertook. And I think when a choice is personalize; it is already a valid reason not to squabble
with.

1. Siegel, Eli (1981). Self and World: An Explanation of Aesthetic Realism. Published by:
New York: Definition Press.