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$2,450,237.

02

VOLUME FOUR

I S S U E 36

"Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud."

Sophocles

0 9 . 0 3 .15

Leave the Corporate


Stuff for the Kids

Gourmage Has the


Ice Cream You Crave
Ice Cream Decadence, Page 7

G t e n Ta g F i a s c o

Freeman on Sports

Ask a Mexican

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

B A R

&

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1st Word

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what's been passing for
taxpayer-funded marketing
of New Braunfels.

Cover Story

All original content is copyright


TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published
every Thursday.

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STAFF / CONTACT
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds
Director of Distribution Chase Cochran
Art Director Kayla Wallace
Editorial: news@txcitizen.com
Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com
Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

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1 WORD
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Gten tag, yall.

WITH

Today were going to talk


about
something
youve
probably never heard of: The
daily video series put out by
the Chamber of Commerce/
Convention and Visitors Bureau
called Gten Tag. Its hosted by
Nathan Manlove over at The AMMO
Group, which is a local advertising agency
the Chamber and Wurstfest use for all manner
of stuff. You might remember AMMOs work
from a few years back - theyre the folks that
gave a us the taxpayer-funded (through the
Chamber/CVB) Water the Rules campaign,
as well as this billboard referring web surfers

on the July videos through August


29. So yeah. Less than ten is
being downright charitable,
especially when you factor
in all the hits we gave them
while researching this column.
Wait. AMMO or Chamber
staff must click on them each at
least one time to make sure theyre
properly loaded onto the site, so were
going to remove 23 clicks from their total.
Lets see, the new math works out to 194
possibly organic clicks, (which includes
the ones we gave them), through August
29, on their July videos. Thats 8.43 views
per. Well just call it less than nine. For

to something called wurtsfest.com:

consistency and all.

MIKE
REYNOLDS

Working people everywhere, rejoice! Labor Day weEkend


is upon us. We get an extra day away from the daily
grind, and what a much deserved reward it is. But what
does a Monday ofF realLy mean? It means we can spend
more time drinking wine over the weEkend, and we get
a day built in for recovery. I'm going to do
everyone a favor and plan your weEkend for you:
The party starts Friday night with live music
and botTomlesS sangrias. Hit the river Saturday
morning to deal with the last of this brutal
heat. Swing by Longshot Saturday afternoOn for
a refreshing glasS of our cactus white and a
gourmet cheEse tray. Stay into the evening to
work your way through our list of delicious
vintage wines. Come back after breakfast on
Sunday morning for botTomlesS mimosas. Do
absolutely nothing on Monday. Whatever you do,
enjoy the day ofF. You've earned it.
- Josh McFarling

133 Landa StreEt

(Across the street from the Landmark)

830.837.5667

Anyway, this video series is clear


evidence that broadcast work is an art, and
shouldnt be left in the hands of dilettantes.
Not to mention that the Chamber is willing to
blow tax dollars on something that:
A) Bites the Blue Whale, and
B) Nobody consumes.
Right now, Manlove and some members
of Chamber staff are having an apoplectic
fit. What do you mean nobody consumes
them? The ones we put out on Fridays get
hundreds of views! Well, hmm, kinda.
Well get to that in a bit. The total daily view
count from the Chamber site in July was
217, spread out over 23 episodes, for an
average view count per episode of 9.43.
Or as we like to say, less than ten. And
that counts all the views that have come in
TXCITIZEN.COM

The Upshot
Fewer than nine people per day view these
videos at the Chamber/CVB website. Thats
probably for the best, because New Braunfels
doesnt come out looking real good in them.
In fact, the word lame might be the most
generous descriptor our fair city earns from
the series. You can see for yourself right now
on our Facebook page at facebook.com/
txcitizen and have a look at one we posted
from last Thursday. If its been pulled by
Facebook by the time you get there, you can
always see the latest one on the Chamber of
Commerce/CVB website at innewbraunfels.
com, or you can go directly to the YouTube
channel that they originate from at youtube.
com/user/nbjumpin/videos. Thats assuming
the whole ball of wax doesnt get sent to the
dustbin after this column hits your eyeballs.
Continued on page 4.

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account, one managed by Chamber ProductionCreative Team employee Donna Meurin, (with
Continued from page 3.
its whopping 17 subscribers), where they sit
Seriously, go enjoy it right now. The link
for a few days, all but dormant, and then start
is pinned to the top of our Facebook page
generating hits days after theyve expired.
and will look something like image below.
On Friday at 5:29pm, the weekend
Prepare to cringe.
video was at two hits on the Meurin page.
At 10:44am Monday, the Meurin account
clocked in at 14 hits. At 3:50pm Tuesday, the
Meurin version was at 213. If this particular
Friday video is anything like every last one
of the others, hundreds of views will come in
See, Gten Tag is a daily webcast
on it in the days and weeks to come, after the
that focuses on whats happening in New
content is completely irrelevant. Here are the
Braunfels on the day that its released. Its
numbers from previous weeks, as of press time:
perishable. It expires late on the day it goes
up on the Chamber site, and is completely
irrelevant immediately thereafter. Nobody
watches a prior days Gten Tag for
the same reason nobody DVRs todays
newscast for tomorrows enjoyment. Or
drinks last months milk.
Nuts. We just realized that were driving
their views up. Well, whats done is done.
August 21 596 Views
You already know they averaged less than
nine hits per video before we gave them
sweet TXC exposure. In fact, in the first six
hours after we posted their August 27 video
on our page, they went from six views to
161. As of this writing its at 541. Thats more
than 532 over the average. Youre welcome,
Chamber/CVB/AMMO!

Fridays Get Freaky

Every Friday, Manlove produces a weekend


edition, where he tells you about stuff to do
over the, you know, weekend. For instance,
the August 28 edition mentioned two Friday
night events, two Saturday events, and a
single Sunday event. There is no question that
information on this video became out-of-date
on Sunday evening.
What makes the Friday videos special,
is that theyre uploaded to another YouTube

August 14 805 Views

August 10 (Monday. They skipped


Friday, 8/7.) 679 Views

July 31 848 Views


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We have no idea who is watching these

Yes, the gamesmanship bothers us,

expired videos. They dont show up on the

but what really sticks in our collective craw

Chambers Facebook page, which should

is that fact that its being done without the

be Destination #1. They dont get sent out

slightest bit of sophistication. Its nice to have


in Chamber emails (according to Chamber a window into Chamber operations, though.
members we asked). They do get hundreds
Im certain its nothing to worry about.
of clicks after their freshness date. We find
it difficult to believe that anyone who has
seen one would ever become a loyal, repeat
clicker. Yet those anywhere-from-500-to-800
past-due clicks are consistently coming
from somewhere, and being used to justify
the program to Chamber management/
membership. Hmm. Hmmmmm.

Chamber/CVB website at innewbraunfels.


a

YouTube

account

Postscript for Chamber


Staff Edification

SAT, SEPT 5

hits that the Chamber/CVB site generates.


According to NBjumpins counter, as of
press time, the August 28 edition of Gten
Tag has generated 28 total views from the
NBjumpin account (Well take the blame for
at least half of those, as the 8/28 video autolaunches after the 8/27 video we linked to
on Facebook is viewed). However, at the
Meurin account, it took on another 109 by
on Monday, and another 90 on top of that as
of Tuesday at 3:56pm. Which leaves us with
these questions:
1) Why does a fresh, spankin new
Gten Tag get less than nine views, while an
out-of-date version, like the one from July 31,
gets close to 900?
2) Why are they still generating hundreds
of clicks WEEKS after theyre clearly out-ofdate? Why? WHY?
Heres why. Less than nine people
watch each new one, but somebody, either
a Chamber employee or volunteer or Google
Plus robot or paid contractor in the Philippines
sits at their desk and clicks on the old, expired
ones over and over and over and over. Click
click click click click. Drives up those views.
Then reports back to Chamber management
that Gten Tag is in high demand.

9PM - 1AM

to the August 27 video:

NO COVER!

Awful. Waste of money. No other

called words for it

NBjumpin, and thats where you can track the

TXCITIZEN.COM

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Citizen readers, on Facebook, in response

When a video is current, its posted to the


from

Mike Reynolds

The following critiques were left by TX

Lets Review
com

\m/

PLUS GUESTS SHAKER HYMNS

What an absolute awful representation


of, not only where I work, but the other
establishments and this awesome town as
well. Why would anyone want to make plans

193 W. SAN ANTONIO ST


WWW.THEPHOENIXSALOON.COM

to spend their time/money here after viewing


that? Horrible waste of money.

FOR SALE

Wait, wha.....
Was he trying to help the live music
venues, or embarrass them? Im kind of
embarrassed myself.
Who the #### is that tool?
Some of the other Guten Tag videos
have zero views. What sense is this? Its a
waste of money and YouTube bandwidth.
Pretty

much

the

only

thing

our

benevolent masters in this town know how to


do is waste tax payer dollars. Guten tag!
Complete waste, all harm and no
good. At all!

D
L
O

2004 Chevy Tahoe LS. 183,000 miles. New


rear tires. Brand new alternator, plugs,
wires & battery (all installed in May).
Meticulously maintained mechanically.
Good interior. Runs & drives great.
Running boards. Roof rack. Very cold A/C.
Would be great as a first vehicle or work
crew truck. $3750 OBO.

2001 Chevy Camaro convertible. V6,


automatic. 114,000 miles. Factory candy
paint (green to blue to purple). All new tires.
All new brakes & rotors. New A/C. Dual Flo
Master exhaust. Fast. Great sub system in
custom box. Top works flawlessly. 23 MPG.
Great little car for a teen. Send 'em back to
school in style! $3500 OBO.

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What follows is an article about exceptional


ice cream. However, in the true spirit of full
disclosure, I have to come clean: I like ice cream.
You could say that I have a bias toward ice
cream. While I know this bias breaks the rules
of journalistic ethics, I cant help the way I feel.
Like other ice cream lovers, my affliction
began when I was a child and has stayed with
me, and I have no intention of stopping now.
The blistering and seemingly-endless
Texas heat means that ice cream can be
consumed pretty much year around. We have
all experienced those Thanksgivings where
the thermometers were pushing the 90s. To
combat those conditions we simply put some
ice cream on our pumpkin or pecan pies to
not only cool us off, but to combat the dark
funk that comes with an autumn holiday that
is too hot to play football.
Recently, though, I had the best ice
cream I have thus far tasted in New Braunfels
at Gourmage. The stuff was so good that I
wanted to run outside onto San Antonio
Street to scream and weep. But I was told not
to do such things anymore because there are
always cops and questions.
Owner Stephanie Richardson and Chef
Linsey Murker have taken the frozen dairy
treat to new heights, not just with their unique
combinations but also with the traditional
vanilla and chocolate.
Im not a foodie Im not urbane
enough and I dont look good in a turtleneck.
But you dont have to be a foodie to enjoy
good food, anymore than you have to be
a musician to recognize that Mozart was
brilliant. Their ice cream tastes great and
thats all anyone needs to know.
Richardson said the idea to make ice
cream came three years ago when they had
leftover ingredients from their hot chocolate.
Like every good idea, it started by
accident, she said. We make hot chocolate
in the winter. We had this really good
chocolate left over and Linsey decided to
make some chocolate ice cream bars. We
started with that, and Lindsey said that she
had a little ice cream maker at home, so she
brought it in. We made a few batches and
then, through divine intervention, a customer
knew someone who was selling a commercial
ice cream maker. Linseys been the ice-creammaking genius ever since.
TXCITIZEN.COM

Stephanie added that the demand


for their ice cream became so strong that
it seemed the two spent most of their time
scooping ice cream.
There is no secret to the fact that great
ingredients help make great food. Their vanilla
bean ice cream is testament to that because
the flavor is fresh and the consistency is rich.
Its made from Madagascar vanilla
beans, real vanilla extract, heavy cream,
whole milk and real cane sugar, Linsey said.
With the Madagascar vanilla bean, theres
a heavier flavor.

part of a toasted marshmallow of course.


The tastes of the toasted marshmallow and
the vanilla held together perfectly and I could
easily imagine eating a quart of the stuff.
My favorite, though, was the triple
chocolate.
I have to shoot straight here: European
chocolate is superior to American chocolate.
Im sorry, but its true. Gourmage uses three
European chocolates for its triple chocolate
and the flavor is full, rich and dark, but not
even slightly bitter.
The triple chocolate was the first ice
cream we made, Linsey said. The chocolate
is a Belgian chocolate. We use a combination

taste similar to Nutella, but with a taste that is


more nutty and less chocolaty.
If youre more adventurous, then you
can try the Chevre, which is made from
goat cheese. The taste is like a phenomenal
cheesecake. Im serious.
People are very surprised when
they taste it, Stephanie said. They dont
know what to expect when you tell them
its goat cheese but when they taste it,
their eyes get very wide with surprise. Its
fun to watch.
This, however, is only a small listing of
the flavors Gourmage makes and they are
always creating new combinations.
We joke that well make ice cream out of
anything thats not nailed down, Stephanie
said. Weve even made avocado ice cream
with candied jalapenos, which is probably
the most unusual flavor weve done.
Linsey disagreed.
The most unusual was the tobaccoinfused ice cream with the bourbon caramel
sauce, she said. It was really good, but it
was polarizing either people really loved it
or they really hated it.
One of their most popular sellers is their
ice cream sandwich, made with vanilla bean
ice cream in the middle of two salted caramel
chocolate chip cookies. They add a sprinkle
of vanilla sea salt around the edges so you

Ice Cream Decadence


By Nick Rogers

The vanilla bean is, naturally, a base for

of different chocolates, a dark chocolate, a milk

get that perfect mixture of sweet and salty.


The cookies blend right into the ice cream,
becoming one flavor.
The ice cream sells for $3 a cup or $9 for
a quart. The ice cream sandwiches are $3.
Gourmage is located at 270 W. San
Antonio St., between Henne Hardware and

the Brauntex Theater. They are open from


other ice creams, such as adding a caramel chocolate and Dutch processed coco powder.
10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Thursday and on
Probably not so surprising, but no
swirl. The beauty to this was the vanilla flavor
Saturday. On Friday, they are open from 10was the first thing I tasted before the caramel matter how many other flavors we make,
7. Gourmage serves lunch from 11 a.m.-2
vanilla and chocolate are still the biggest
seeped in, but never overpowering.
p.m., but offers cheese plates and wine and
We make the caramel sauce and it has sellers, Stephanie said.
You can also get the triple chocolate with a ice cream all day.
really good Mediterranean sea salt in it,

You
can
call
Gourmage
at
peanut butter sauce that is Linseys own, secret
Linsey said. And we use a little vanilla salt,
creation. The combination was just right and 830.214.6471, go online to gourmage.com
which we make here.
or email them at gourmage@gmail.com.
neither of the flavors overpowered the other.
One flavor I particularly enjoyed was the
If you ever want food decadence, just
The crew also has a particularly good
toasted marshmallow, which had the subtle
undertone of burnt marshmallow, the best hazelnut, which uses a little cacao so it has a come on over, Linsey said.
7

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MOS T WAN T ED Freeman


COMAL COUNTYS
ALLISON,
MELISSA JEAN

JENKINS,
KIMBERLY
CAROLE

Female 504 170 lbs


Female 503 150 lbs
DOB: 10/21/1967
DOB: 04/12/1968
CHARGE:
CHARGE: Failure to
appear for possession
Aggravated assault
of controlled
w/deadly weapon
substance pg1 under
CT I
1 gram

Another week in the books so another week


to review! Ive finally got some meaningful
football to discuss as well, so that means I get
paid double. Lets get to it.

ANTONINO,
MEDELLIN,FRANK
JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
JOSEPH
JR

LOPEZ,
JOSE GERARDO

ESTRADA,
PAUL ROBERT

REED, CLIFTON
FRAZIER

Tough opening nights for both New Braunfels


and Canyon, who each lost at home last Friday.
The Unicorns looked good coming out of the
gate against Alamo Heights, with a 14-6 lead
with under five minutes to go in the first half, but
a pair of late touchdowns by the Mules before
half-time gave Heights the lead and momentum
which seemed to trickle into the second half.
A pair of pick-sixes didnt help matters in the
Unicorns 55-14 loss. New Braunfels has
a great chance to bounce back this week
though, in the annual Guadalupe River Bowl
against Seguin. The Matadors lost their opener
last week 49-8 to Cedar Park Vista Ridge. After
Fridays game against Seguin, New Braunfels
schedule gets increasingly difficult so I expect
the Unicorns to take care of business.
Canyon lost its opener to Round Rock
Cedar Ridge 29-13 last Friday but there was
plenty to be encouraged about. The Cougars
may have some playmakers on their hands, after
seeing Jonathan Rush go for 76 yards rushing
on just eight carries, and receiver Kristian Drake
catching four passes for 62 yards. Canyons
non-district schedule isnt quite as tough as New
Braunfels, so the Cougars may be able to get
something going before the start of 25-6A play.
Speaking of which, Smithson Valley, Judson,
Steele and Clemens all won their openers last
week. The Rangers beat Midland Lee 21-14
and host one of San Antonios top programs,
Brennan, this Friday. If youre going to go to a
game this week, go to that one.

Male 507 200 lbs


Male 506 140 lbs
Male
601 185 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
DOB: 08/28/1984
CHARGE:
Possession
DOB:
01/01/1957
of a controlled
CHARGE: Motion to
CHARGE:
Driving
substance pg
1 under
revoke probation for
1 gramintoxicated
and theft of3rd
while
driving while
property
or
more under $1500
with 2 or more
intoxicated 3rd or more
previous convictions

Male 510 230 lbs


DOB: 03/24/1978
CHARGE: Theft
property over $1500
2/more previous
convictions

Male 509 145 lbs


DOB: 02/04/1961
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg1
under 1 grtam

ROE,
GRUNDMAN,
ANDREW
DURAN
JOSHUA EDWARD
Male 509 160 lbs
DOB: 03/07/1995
CHARGE: Accident
involving injury- Fail
to render aid

HERRERA,
OMERO

Male 601 295 lbs


DOB: 04/08/1979
CHARGE: Assault
faimly/ household
member impede
breath/ circulation

$300
REWARD

Male 602 190 lbs


DOB: 02/22/1987
CHARGE: Assault
family/ household
member w/previous
conviction CT II

ZAMORA,
JESSE ANTHONY

Male 509 185 lbs


DOB: 01/03/1971
CHARGE: 2 counts
bail jumping and failure
to appear

ED
T
S
E
R
AR

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL


COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, August 31, 2015 at 8:57 a.m. and may not be current by the time it is
read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

TXCITIZEN.COM

on Sports WITH BRANT FREEMAN

Week in Review: High School Football

Meanwhile, starting pitcher Dallas Keuchel


continues making his case for AL Cy Young.
His strikeout-to-walk ratio since the end of June
is 71 to 11. His ERA in the month of August
was 1.94. If he faced the Dodgers (who were
no hit AGAIN on Sunday) in every start he
would go 33-1. Seriously, the Dodgers would
be better off swinging a paper towel roll than
a bat right now.
The Rangers, man they were as relevant
in the baseball standings six weeks ago as the
Jacksonville Jaguars are to every NFL season
(read: NOT VERY). After a 4-2 week, including
a sweep of the Orioles, Texas is still within
striking distance of Houston, and if that doesnt
work out, the Rangers are very much in position
for one of the two AL Wild Card spots. And
how about the week for Delino Deshields and
Adrian Beltre? 19 combined hits, three triples,
two homers and just three strikeouts. This team
is no longer the Jaguars of MLB (but maybe just
as good at football as the Jags).

Week in Review: NFL

Week in Review: Major League Baseball

Just as I was typing this, I got an ESPN alert


telling me that a panel of their 70+ experts
ranked J.J. Watt as the best player in the
NFL. I didnt need ESPN to tell me this, the
dude faces my team twice a year, mocking
its quarterbacks - IM AWARE. The rankings
were part of ESPNs yearly analysis of the
leagues Top 100 players. Seattle had the
most, with nine, and Dallas tied Green Bay for
second most, with six. The Cowboys highest
ranked player was Dez Bryant (tied for sixth
overall with Calvin Johnson). Of the 32 teams,
only one failed to have a player make that
list. Freaking Tennessee. Dammit. The living
dumpster fire of Washington had three players.
2-14 Tampa Bay had two players. Even the
@#&ing Jaguars had one. I hate this week.

Huzzah! The Astros got through last weeks


road trip without face planting themselves in
the batters box. A 3-3 record in the six games,
(2-1 vs the Yankees, 1-2 vs the Twins), and
now the Astros are home this week before
embarking on another ten game road trip.

Brant Freeman is a seasoned local sportscaster,


serving as the radio voice of Texas State University,
hosting television coverage of Texas State Athletics and
delivering the goods as a reporter for major pro and
collegiate sporting events in the greater San Antonio
area for over a decade.
11

ASK A MEXICAN!

SPECIAL VACATION EDITION

thursday & saturday


Karaoke w/ Johnny V!

friday

Dance to the Tunes By DJ Johnny V!

sunday

Specials on Margaritas & Bloody Marys

monday

Hospitality Employees Discount

tuesday

Cactus Jack says, Specials on Texas Spirits!


Made in Texas, by Texans, for Texans!

wednesday

Free Pool & Darts!

HOME OF THE 2 BUCK HAPPY HOUR!


MON-FRI 4-7 PM
ENCOURAGING RESPONSIBLE DRINKING SINCE 1979
1051 N. IH-35 In The Ramada INN 830.625.8017

By Gustavo Arellano ridiculed them and sometimes beat


Est. 1986

NB's Largest Air-Conditioned Dance Floor!

Whats Going On...

Sundays - Happy Hour All Day


Mondays - Free Darts All Day
Tuesdays - Live Music 7pm
Wednesdays - Ladies Night 7pm
Free Pool & Jukebox
Thursdays - Karaoke 8:30pm
Fridays - Live Music 8pm
Saturdays - Live Music 9pm
Check out our Live Music Calendar
on our website to see whos playing!
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
Watering Hole Saloon & Dancehall on FB

Dear Readers: The Mexican is currently them up because they were diligently
in the rancho, scheming about how to get trying to learn, and pressures at home
close enough to Donald Trump so I can from parents that were also dealing
smear a bean burrito in his faceHA! But with a number of issues. Le tengo
I did want to share two cosas. A couple odio a mitoteros/mentirosos como

Dickheadtodo el dia, tuercen mis


one Dickhead in Denver, who asked eight palabras Salmos 56.5
Burque Babe
pendejo questions, everything from why
of weeks back, I published a letter by

Mexicans are so fat to why Mexicans arent


good in math. Your humble paisa easily

For those who dont habla: the maestra

knocked him down, but so did many of

said at the end, I hate nosy idiots/liars like

ustedes in letters sent to mechingao!

DickheadAll day long, they twist my

One I wish I could quote directly, but

lets just say an executive from a major Chingao! See, America? Mexicans come to
American company told me they hire more this country all perfect and preciousand
engineers from Mexico than the United

its this country that destroys them by making

States, and showed me the numbers to prove

them become Americans.

itchingao! The following letter is one Im


allowed to share in its entirety:

I cant address some of the B.S.


addressed by this individual so
aptly named, but heres something:
I taught as an intern and then as a
substitute teacher in Albuquerque,
almost exclusively at Dolores
Gonzalez Elementary by the BioPark
for two years. The kids from Mexico
were better in Math, Science, and
Language skills (Spanish, of course)
than local kids, and in one of the
classes where I acted as a teaching
assistant while an unpaid intern,
there were five of them that were
placed in advanced classes the
following year. Where the kids got
screwed up was a three-fold thing: 1)
Dealing with cooperative learning
crap. They were used to traditional,
old-school methods with the teacher
in front of the class and the kids
listening, taking notes, etc. When
you broke them up into groups, thats
when problems began. 2) Learning
a new language. 3) Pressures from
IDIOT local Hispanic/Latino kids that
12

words Psalms 56:5. Biblical retribution?

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by Robert Flores, a lifelong butcher who
decided to tell his tale after surviving fourthstage colon cancer. #FuckCancer is not just
the latest entry in the lengthy bookshelf of
cancer literature; it also belongs in Chicano
Studies classrooms. Because in the Butcher,
you find everything we want our community
to turn into: a fighter. A survivor. Someone
whos proud of where hes from. Brown
and down. And a pioneer: Robert is brave
enough to tell his story, to become a writer
despite being in his mid-50s and never
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alone a full-length book. May this book
inspire people who want to be writers but
are afraid to do so . . . to do so. Follow him
on Twitter @foxflores and buy his book at
roberttheboldstore.etsy.com!

Ask the Mexican at


themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
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13

L E G A L NO T I C ES

Half-Off One Entree

NOTICE TO CREDITORS. Notice is hereby given that


original Letters Testamentary for the Estate of Consuelo
C. Cantu, Deceased, were issued on July 25,2015, in
Cause No. 2015PCB0222, pending in the County Court
of Comal County, Texas, to: Dollie Lagunas.
All persons having claims against this Estate
which is currently being administered are required to
present them to the undersigned within the time and
in the manner prescribed by law.
DATED the 27th day of August, 2015.

with purchase of another entree and two drinks.

One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 09/30/15

Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday


Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm

Frank B. Suhr, Attorney at Law


473 S. Seguin Ave, Ste. 100, New Braunfels, Texas 78130
State Bar No.: 19466300
Tel: (830) 625-4345 I Fax: (830) 606-4511
Attorney for Martha Gunckel

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LEGAL NOTICE

15% Off
your entire purchase!

Book your tour at nbghosttours.com!

15% OFF WITH PROMO CODE:


TXCITIZEN

173 S. Seguin St 830.214.0728

Valid online only.

(830)221-5221

Application has been made with


the Texas Alcohol Beverage
Commission for a Beer Retail
Dealers On-Premise License by
Rumaldo L. Aguirre
dba Kings & Queens Ballroom,
To be located at 442 Stolte Rd.
New Braunfels, Comal, TX 78130.
Owner of said company is
Rumaldo L. Aguirre

HELP
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Do you want to be a Bud Man?
Currently hiring route personnel.
Class A CDL preferred
Must be able to lift 25 lbs. or more

Apply in person at:

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14

TX CITIZEN
AD SALES 830.358.2493

Last Word
With Kelly Colby

On Weather
South Dakota was the end of our family
road trip, so stories of my summer vacation
are rapidly coming to an end, but Ive been
reminded, You cant start telling about
coming home. Youve forgotten some of the
best parts! What about the tornado? What
about the hailstorm?
Oh, I did that last week. I said. Mike just
hasnt published it yet. Youll see. Itll be great.
So, where was I? Oh yes, the tornado.
On our first night in Adrian, MN. We
were all very tired from the road and setting up.
Having Wifi was a pleasant change of pace
and after we all cleaned up and got into our
jammies, I decided to get online. It had been a
while, but when I looked at the notifications on
my Facebook page, I was flabbergasted.
Wow, 80 notifications. Apparently I
need to get a life. I said.
Oh we have Wifi? I hadnt even
considered it. My mother said.
Steve was the only holdout at this point.
Steves a neo-Luddite, at least where the
internet is concerned. My mother and I are
true addicts, and both of us can spend hours
online doing little or nothing.
As I waded through the pent up cat
videos, Steve began to feel left out. He
got out his phone and opened his weather
application. It was still set for New England,
but he decided to reset it for Adrian since we
were going to be there for nearly a month.
Almost immediately Steve said, Look at
this! We have a storm coming this way.
He held out his phone, and the
multicolored blob on the middle of the screen
meant little to me. It wasnt moving, but as I
squinted, I could see that Adrian was a small
dot directly above the festive looking storm.
I had just enough time to ask when it was
scheduled to hit us before the wind came up.
Now, I have lived in the rolling hills of
Vermont for 10 years now, and my mother
and Steve for even longer. Perhaps we can
TXCITIZEN.COM

be forgiven for forgetting our flatlander


roots, but each of us gasped when the wind
hit the trailer and rocked it more than any of
us felt comfortable with.
The rain was next. It came down in a
deluge. The machine gun staccato of individual
rain drops on the aluminum siding lasted only a
second or two before it sounded more like we
were traveling through a car wash than anything
else. One last weather alert came over Steves
phone before all our connections were lost.
Bleep!
Steve checked his phone. Uh oh. We
have a tornado alert.
My mother asked, What should we do?
None of us were panicking yet, but it was
looking like it might be time to start pretty soon.
Steve said, Im not really sure theres
much we can do. He looked deep in thought
and he added, If a tornado is sighted or
forecast to hit the area, we should hear a
siren, I think. Usually you go to a shelter. I think
the bathroom would be the best place here.
There was a knock on the door, and I
got up to answer, more than a little surprised.
When I opened the door, I saw a very
wet, heavy-set woman. I opened the screen,
but she didnt make any move to come in.
She said, Hi. Im your neighbor next
door, but Im also a meteorologist. This is just
the type of storm that might lead to a tornado. I
wanted to make sure you knew that if you heard
a siren, you should head for the bathrooms.
I asked her if we should head out there
now, feeling more than a little bad that I
was asking her questions while she stood
outside in the wrath of God. She didnt
seem to mind, though.
I doubt everyone would fit comfortably
in there, and it would probably be
unnecessary unless there is a tornado. She
said. On the other hand, you might want
to keep an eye on my camper. If you see
me headed for the bathroom in a hurry, you
might want to try to keep up.

I assured her I would, and she ran off


into the wind and rain. Apparently weather
people swear some sort of oath like doctors
do because you can be sure I wouldnt have
been running around outside.
The storm went on this way for about a
half hour before the wind picked up some
more. Things had been dicey before, but
now the trailer was being hit by the wind
regularly. It would tip up on two wheels
and drop back down over and over again.
During this the awning whipped as the wind
passed over it. When the material tightened
up, it snapped like a bullwhip, and more than
once we expected it to come off completely.
I looked over to our neighbors
periodically, but I never saw Weather Woman
make a mad dash. Within another hour it
was all over. Things had slowly tapered off
until it was almost like nothing had happed.
Steve and I waited until the next day to check
damage. It was dark and still pretty wet outside.
We did find that the awning was done for. The
wind had rattled it so badly that the arms used
to extend it had bent and a piece of pot metal
used to hold one of the arms to the body of the
trailer had broken in two. Leaves and branches
were everywhere, and the campground had
lost several trees that I wouldnt have expected
to snap short of a nuclear blast.
There was little doubt that we should
have taken the awning down, but Steve and I
consoled ourselves that by the time we aware
of a need, things were really too bad to be
outside grabbing at what is essentially a kite.
As terrifying as this was to someone not
familiar to weather in the plains, there was
no tornado. We did read later that one had
touched down some 20 miles down the road,
but all we had gotten was a little summer
thunderstorm. And of course, that was not the
worst of it. There was more to come.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.


blogspot.com.

Cheese Chocolate Wine

Thank you for voting ours the

Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich


in this year's readers poll.
Now bring your friends in to try it!
Chef Stephanie

Winner!

Downtown New Braunfels,


just steps from the Brauntex Theater

HAPPY COW
B A R

&

G R I L L

Thursday
Cow-E-Oke

Friday

Armadillo Road

Saturday

Justin Reimer Band

Tuesday
Open Mic

Kitchen Hours

11-2 & 5:30-10pm Mon-Thurs


11-10pm Fri-Sun
9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
happycowhuntertx.com

15

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smart decision to spend our
advertising money on a
team that actually cared
about us and had our back,
our friendships with the
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