Adam David - Texticles

Texticles
ilang piling dagli

ni Adam David
S
Other books by Adam David
the El Bimbo Variations
the Long Weekend
~
Upcoming books
Abecediarya: a pornographic novel
the Industry of Cheese
O NOW WE GO.
Nilalaman
Renege Genre - 1 Fourteen Exercises - 13
Service With A Simile - 2 Bourgeois #1 - 17
Sweet Bangungot Sa Lavandera Ko,

Sa Umaga - 3 Kamias Branch - 18
Usoserong Makulet Appropriate Gestures - 20

Sa Hapon - 4
Belen’s Last Summer
Gabi Ng Afternoon Popsicle - 23
Pepsi Seven Up - 5
Catholicism In
Sa Umaga Contemporary
Tell Me A Secret - 6 Philippine Society - 27
Last Song Syndrome Service With A Simile - 30

Ng Hapon - 7
Mula Sa Probinsya,
Usoserong Discreet Habang Nagbabakasyon - 31
Ng Gabi - 8
Bourgeois #2 - 35
Cheating Madam Auring
Nang Umaga - 9 Use “Paradox”
In A Sentence - 36
Half Truth
Hapon - 10 Getting To Know
Your Body - 37
Anonymous Letter
Sa Gabi - 11 Mula Sa Faralamalzi – Filipino
Phonetic Phrasebook
Service With A Simile - 12 44th Edition - 38
Service With A Simile - 46
Ilang Librong Mababasa Sa Libreria
Texticles
Ng Panaginip, Bangungot, At Alaala
Ni Melinda P. Gaba Habang Siya’y
Nahihimbing Sa Malambot Niyang Kama - 47
Natin99 - 52
Bourgeois #3 - 58
Fourteen Plans - 59
a cancer - 63
Bourgeois #4 - 69
Before she rises - 70
Kasama Ko
Sa Isang Aircon Bus
Si Marieton Pacheco - 92
Filipino Words
Found Within
Finnegans Wake - 96
Further Finnegan Find - 98
Notes On These Pages - 99

Renege Genre
SciFi
Something in the crater is moving!!!
Horror
He woke up with dysmenorrhea again.
Action
“Cripes!!!” he thought as bombs fell.
Romance
I will only complicate things further.
Humour
Scientist solves erectile dysfunction: “T’wasn’t
hard!”
Erotica
“… harder …” she moaned through bloody teeth.
1
Service With A Simile Sweet Bangungot
Sa Umaga
Luis Syjuco Tungo sa ’sang saganang agos ng nota, nangongo ang
nguso sa bango ng utong ng ate ang batang atat na atat na
security guard sa isang mall
bumanat sa gunggong na sawa nang bumangon ang ate at
nagbabagang tumugon sa gusto ng bata.
“Ano po ’ka mo? Nawawala ho ang anak niyo? Huwag po
kayong mag-alala, hahanapin ko ho siya na tila ako’y isang
pating na walang tigil sa paglalangoy dala ng tawag ng laman
at takam ng tiyan at topak ng tililing na inaamok ng amoy
ng dugo at kumpas ng biyas at hiyaw ng saklolo ng isang
nalulunod na aprikano sa malawak at malalim na karagatan
sa paligid ng baybay ng Cote d’Azure.”
2 3
Usoserong Makulet Gabi Ng
Sa Hapon Pepsi Seven Up
Marlon T. Magat: ’sang makatang tulala, kulot, mapeklat, Nagiisang nanginginig sa bibig ng bangin, isang paa sa
at hapunghapo na sa katutula ng kunganu-ano lang: gera sa sangasangang baging, ang isa sa pisapisang bunga ng saging,
Ghana, rosas ng Malta, mga talangkang pakalatkalat sa mga pasan ang nagbabagang bangis ng guniguni, sa gabi ng
pampang ng Roma. Pero nasaan na ang mga aklat, ang mga ibigang babasagin … “Vivian!!!”
tulang magpapaaklas sa mga alat ng lupa? ’Ala, tama na,
matulog ka na lang, Marlon T. Magat!
4 5
Sa Umaga Last Song Syndrome
Tell Me A Secret Ng Hapon
Me, relate secrets, scams, tattle-tales, et al? Sure! At summer, A range o’ pop songs on thongs and long phone groans and
as Grace’s urge escalates as clam emasculates, gal tugs at dry gropes on the range; anthems o’ tangled treeroots and
arms, later mauls ’em as gal’s cum surges. All true! See arms? hyperreal pantaloons and hooters to hang hats on; odes to
Tell-tale scars! math and harps and good old Oprah on the telly; on and on
the tones o’ home go drone-drone-drone.
6 7
Usoserong Discreet Cheating Madam Auring
Ng Gabi Nang Umaga
Tingin nang tingin ang isang tibatibang bading na nagbabati
sa tabi ng sintusintong batang sinisintasinta. Ang tanging
ninanais? Ang gatasin ang tabatabang titing naninigasnigas!
8 9
Half Truth Anonymous Letter
Hapon Sa Gabi
Putol na paa at pantalon at … ’ala na! Puta, ano ’to, Maalaala mo sana: malayo man tayo sa isa’t isa, lagi namang
pulutan?!? Fun!!! Hahahahahahaha!!! laman ng isip, sinta, ang masasaya at malulumbay, tulog
man o malay, isa lang ang masasabi—malalamig ang gabi
na ’ala sa iyong tabi.
10 11
Service With A Simile Fourteen Exercises
Lorna Dy What follows is a set of writing exercises for the willing
enthusiast. Most come from close analyses of the formal
masahista sa isang sauna
exercises employed by the more playful writers that can
make one exclaim “the fuck” in a bewildered whisper-shout,
“Ano po ba ang gusto niyo, ser: powder na mala-pinulbong
some come from extended bathroom brainstorms where
pilak at marmol at asukal na pinung-pinong pinaghaluhalo
one’s torso can be pelted red by strong shower water. Most
para makagawa ng isang homogenous compound na walang
of the Fourteen Exercises can be tackled individually while
katulad sa mundo sa tamis at kinis at kinang na tila-diyosang
some warrant social interaction.
ipapahid ko bilang buwan at bituwin at bulalakaw sa langit
ng gabi ng likod mong umaangal sa ngawit at ngalay at
One can mix and match and combine and discard the
nginig na dala ng trabaho at pamilya at buhay, o lotion?”
elements of each and every exercise as one sees fit. Most were
designed with Prose in mind, but they can also be used to
produce works in any medium or genre. All are designed to
push one to explore unfamiliar forms, to hopefully come up
with Something New, if not for Philippine Literature, then
at least for the Individual.
#1: First Line Pick-Up: Choose a set of works from an

anthology/collection and use their first lines as lead-ins for a
completely new story or poem. Use the title of the anthology/
collection as the title of the new work.
#2: Ink Polaroids: Take a photo with a pen: write a descriptive

commentary of static images, concentrating on the
idiosyncrasies and imperfections of informal (read: unstaged)
photographs. Mirror the visual informality through the text’s
form. Allow space and time for digressions.
#3: Time Shuffle: Write about a specific place close to you

(your hometown or place of birth) or not (your office or place
of learning). Write specifically about how it was like yesterday,
how it is like today, and how it will be like tomorrow.
Variants: extend the time period to The Distant Past and The
Near Future, or to A Moment Ago and After A Few, or to The
Near Past and The Distant Future.
12 13
#4: Random Fandom: Write reviews of specific rooms you are all the participants have contributed to the whole text. The
either familiar with (yours) or indifferent to (your sibling’s) ending of the text is determined by the last participant.
as if they were movies or albums or books. A questionnaire
could be used to help facilitate the flow of the narrative. Variant: the participant/s can use fragments plagiarised from
other texts to build the new work, edited to fit the new work’s
Variants: the reviews can also be about car rides, window narrative structure. The goal is to construct a new piece from
views, boyfriends, baths, tall drinks of lukewarm water. already existing bits, to write a story already written by other
people, only in parts.
#5: Paragraph Shuffle: Construct a piece with interchangeable
parts where the Reader can begin anywhere and end #10: Newlywed: Group exercise, with a set of at least two
everywhere. people. Produce pieces for public posting and perusal, in
direct context with the immediate area of display. The medium
#6: Half-Way Holistic: Compose a walkthrough for a place can be posters or stickers, t-shirts or graffiti, book or song.
with definite size and shape and population density, as if it Encourage unofficial reproductions and illicit proliferation.
was a game or a tour guide. Concentrate on personal and
local histories, legends, and rumours. Be thorough. For #11: Reduction - Expansion: construct a short biography by
maximum effect, choose a place that is friendly and accessible choosing thirteen points of the subject’s life as topics for the
to pedestrians. chapters and writing them as five-hundred-word chunks. Fill
in the gaps between the thirteen by adding in twelve more
Variants: it can also be a walkthrough for careers, jobs, or a chapters and writing them as three-hundredword chunks.
Day In The Life. The finished work should approximately be ten thousand
words long.
#7: Space Shuffle: Choose a specific moment in time, by
random or with reason, personal or historical, and write Variants: the biography can be about an event, a piece of
about how that specific moment in time is being spent in clothing, a creative process.
various places.
#12: The Facts Of Life: Declare in no uncertain terms several
#8: Rüt - Raůt: Group exercise, with a set of at least two facts on a given subject, written in verse, to be presented in a
people. Trace separate routes to a specific place or point in public forum (a blog, a drink-up). Record the reactions, and
the map. Walk the routes individually and write about them, revise if necessary. Publish as a zine, or as a deck of flashcards
and publish them together either side by side, or one after to help elicit discussion and/or conversation in future social
the other. gatherings.
#9: Narrative Corpse: Group exercise, with a set of at least six Variants: the given facts can be fabricated, and/or plagiarised
people. Participants construct a new work round-robin-style, from other works.
with one section per participant, each section dependent on
the one preceding it, building up to a linear coherence, until
14 15
Bourgeois #1
#13: Exercises In Style: Pick a specific topic or event and write ______ is ______. He doesn’t look his age, and he ______
multiple versions of it: one in plain prose, one in verse, one it. He used to play ______ for the old-school ______ band
as a blurb for a book, one as a pitch for a movie, one as a ______. You may have heard of them, as ______ is somewhat
personal ad, one as a news piece, et cetera. considered ______ in certain circles. Their ______ point
was when their single “______” turned ______, much to
#14: Last Line Pick-Up: Construct a closed-circuit circular
narrative made up of small sections. The sections should
______’s and his bandmates’ ______. The song wasn’t ______
begin with the endings of the sections preceding them, as far as songs go, but there you are, yet another testament to
literally or thematically. The last line of the last section of the the old adage “________________________.”
work should reference the first line of the first section.
Give him enough ______ of ______, get him to talking,
______ could tell you stories, about when they were still
starting out in ______, a local ______/______ back in the
Early ______, back when ______ still had ______, still had
______ in his ______, way way way before the whole ______
Incident where he “________________________,” as his
more acute critics had put it back then.
He’d say with a ______: “______ was ______ back in those

days ... the ______ were ______, the ______ were ______
... and oh shit, even the ______ were fucking ______!”
But then, what doesn’t seem ______, given ______ years
of ______?
La pastie de la bourgeoisie!!!
16 17
Sa Lavandera Ko,
Kamias Branch
Kapitbahay ko si Marieton Pacheco sa Kamias, at paminsan- Hindi ako makakita sa laki ng mga dala ko. ’Di kita nakita.
minsan ay nakakasalubong ko siya sa mga paligid-gilid ng Sori.”
mahabang kalsadang iyon: sa McDo, sa Jollibee, sa HBO,
sa RendezVous Where Happy People Meet, sa Caster, sa “Hindi, okey lang, nakaharang ako, e,” ang sabi ni Marieton
Tenthaus, sa Burger Machine Ladies Dormitory. Hindi kami Pacheco. Dilaw na Chuck’s ang suot niyang sapatos,
nagpapansinan. Sa mga okasyon na kami’y nagkakasalubong, maong na pantalon at isang lumang highschool PE t-shirt,
walang puwersang nagtutulak sa amin para mag-usap. naninilaw na puti na may kulay asul na kuwelyo’t manggas.
Amoy lumang nylon, pawis at strawberries si Marieton
Isang Sabado, nakasalubong ko ulit si Marieton Pacheco, sa Pacheco. Nakampante ako sa tabi niya. Balak ko siyang iuwi
Kamias branch ng Lavandera Ko. Abala ako sa pagbalanse at ipakilala sa mga kaibigan ko’t magulang.
sa pagkarga ng labada, kaya ’di ko siya napansin. Pumasok
ako sa Lavandera Ko at nabunggo ang kanyang puwet at “Tutulungan kita,” ang sabi ko sa kanya. Nagmistula akong
ang kanyang panting labadang nakabasket ay natapon at Boy Scout, Knight In Shining Armour, ang Prospective
nagkalat sa sahig. Boyfriend ng mga babae na nagsusuot ng mababangong
napkin.
Kinilig ang mga labandera ng Lavandera Ko nang ibinaba
ko ang aking labada para tulungan si Marieton Pacheco sa Nakaluhod kaming dalawa ni Marieton Pacheco sa paligid
kanyang mga panting nagkalat. Mukhang kapapasok lang ng kanyang mga labada, pinupulot at inaayos ang kanyang
niya bago ako, iaabot pa lang sa mga labandera ang basket mga panti nang namulat ako sa realidad ng sitwasyon kung
niya ng labada nang bigla akong pumasok at nabunggo siya saan kaming dalawa ay itinulak—ng tadhana? ng buhay?
sa puwet. Natapon tuloy ang labada niya. ng Diyos?—kung saan kaming dalawa ay dahon lamang sa
masukal na gubat—ng Akit? ng Libog? ng Pag-Ibig?: hawak
Naisip ko ang lahat ng ito dahil mukhang ’di pa nalalabhan ko ang mga panti ni Marieton Pacheco. Hawak ko sila,
ang mga panting dala niya: nakapilipit pa rin sila sa garter sa napaliligiran nila ako, hindi pa sila nalalabhan at naaamoy
gilid, parang kagagamit lang kaninang umaga, katatanggal ko sila.
lang, mukhang kababato pa lang sa basket para dalhin sa
Lavandera Ko sa Kamias. Pumulot ako ng isang panti mula sa basket. Sa loob ng
garter, nabasa ko ang pangalan niya, isinulat gamit ang isang
“Ay!” ang sigaw ni Marieton Pacheco. “Sori,” ang sabi ko. pulang pentel pen, may maliit na puso sa ibabaw ng “i”:
Soring-sori ako sa nangyari. Marieton.
Inilapag ko ang aking labada at lumuhod sa tabi ni

Marieton Pacheco para tulungan siyang damputin at ayusin
ang kanyang mga panting nagkalat. “Sori talaga, aksidente.
18 19
Appropriate Gestures
On a wall at the farther side of the Megamall branch of “Can’t you come with me, George? Michael and Penny will
Penny’s Grilled Hamburgers hangs an old photograph, be asking about you...” she might’ve ruffled about the closet,
mounted and framed to discourage the poking fingers of looking for the umbrella she’ll eventually find, moving shoe
more-than-curious folks. Along the bottom, one can make boxes and coats and hatboxes here and there. Her husband’s
out the word ’Oregon’, followed by the numbers ’1951’, eyes might’ve scanned the closet’s interior, absent-mindedly
both written with the usual flair that can only be seen in old sucking on the pipe. “You know I can’t come to the opening,
photographs. Martha. As much as I would want to be with you and Michael
and Penny ... it’s that damn Dr Wheeler pulling out of the
The photograph shows two rather distinguished-looking meeting at the worst possible moment ... someone has to go
ladies, one of which was carrying an open umbrella. She’s to the convention.” He might’ve walked out of the closet at
wearing a simple dark dress, no frills or anything, something that moment, the right moment, and might’ve started fixing
she might wear for Sunday mass. She’s holding out a pair of his tie in front of the cupboards’ glass doors.
gloves and a wrapped hamburger with one hand, the open
umbrella with the other. She’s probably in her mid-forties, She might’ve walked out of the closet with a frown on her
and probably read an article in the newspaper a week before, face. “It’s just ... it’d be a bit strange if you weren’t there. You
about how sunlight hastens old age in people, especially in gave them money for the deposit, after all ...” her husband
women. might’ve stopped fixing his tie and might’ve turned to face
her, hands held-out, shaking his head. The appropriate
“Have you seen my umbrella, George?” she might’ve gesture. She might’ve put on the gloves and held out her
asked her pipe-smoking doctor husband the morning the hands, too, shaking her head. The appropriate gesture.
photograph was taken. “I can’t seem to remember where I Maybe the taxi waiting outside starts honking impatiently,
put it last.” then. Another appropriate gesture.
“What makes you think I know where it is?” her pipe- He might’ve pulled out his pipe then, or maybe he did it
smoking doctor husband might’ve answered, hands on his earlier, and might’ve put it in his trouser pocket, or maybe
waist, puffing smoke about, feigning anger. His blue tie inside his vest. He might’ve turned back to the cupboard to
might’ve hanged down from his collar like hush puppy ears. pick up where he left off. After a while, he might’ve noticed
He might’ve followed his wife around, repeating his answer his wife’s reflection, still standing there staring at him. “Why
over and over, finally grabbing her behind as she stoops don’t you try looking under the bed?” he might’ve suggested
down to look at the closet under the stairs. Maybe there’s to her. She might’ve started off for the upstairs bedroom,
a taxi outside, waiting to take his wife to Penny’s Grilled her husband still talking. “I remember searching for our
Hamburgers. scrabble set, combing the house from top to bottom, only
to find it—”
20 21
Belen’s Last Summer
Afternoon Popsicle
“Eureka!!” he might’ve heard her calling out from the Belen’s last summer afternoon popsicle from way back then
upstairs bedroom, or maybe it was a “yes!”, or maybe it was was like no other summer afternoon popsicle she’d had
a simple yelp of glee and relief. At any rate, she walks down before. It was the sort of summer afternoon popsicle that
from the bedroom and starts gathering her things, preparing still makes her blush pink from cheeks to knees whenever
to go. “The taxi’s waiting.” he might’ve said, putting on his she feels a cold draft creep up on her and her nipples start
coat, now. “Was it under the bed?” he might’ve asked. getting stiff like pencil erasers fresh from the factory.
one afternoon, while she
“No,” she might’ve answered. “It was hanging by the towel was sunning herself on a recliner, a heavy cool gust of wind
hook inside the bathroom closet, would you believe?” came and wrapped her body like how gusts of wind are. for two
They both might’ve laughed, then, maybe it was only her seconds, she imagined herself diving into the cooler beside her,
laughing, with the husband only giving a minor smile, as if now all of a sudden a sparkling swimming pool with popsicle
to say “What a silly place to find a lost umbrella!” sticks as diving boards. she felt goosebumps ripple to life. her
heart quickened and she felt her face flush, suddenly warm.
They might’ve shared the taxi, or maybe it was only her in she opened her eyes and saw her nipples making tiny bumps on
the taxi and her husband took the car to Baltimore. They her suit. ever the catholic girl, her hand whipped to the towel
said their goodbyes somewhere, either at the driveway or and covered herself from the prying eyes of salamanders, her toes
inside the taxi as he dropped her off to Penny’s Grilled tingling
Hamburgers. It was the sort of summer afternoon popsicle that still
makes her blush whenever she hears the ice cream cart wheel
She might’ve walked over to Penny and the photographer by her house, with its lilting nursery rhyme going up in
with an apologetic look on her face, both for her tardiness octaves.
and for the absence of her husband. As Penny handed
Martha her complimentary grilled hamburger, she might’ve If you were to ask her, Belen’s last summer afternoon popsicle
started off her apology with “You wouldn’t believe what was the earliest sexual incident that her mind permits her to
kept me at the house!” to which penny might’ve answered remember. Her best friend Anna Sanchez had her earliest at
“What?” and she might’ve said “I lost my umbrella, would fourteen, with an afternoon phone call that asked about how
you believe?” The two women might’ve been laughing the often she brushed her velvet an unforgettable conversation
thought away as they posed for the photographer. that made her brush her velvet the first chance she got while
another friend, also called Anna, had her earliest at her sweet
sixteenth, with an afternoon massage with a blind old man
from project four. She found herself strangely turned on
when the blind old man
who learned the art of massage from his days
in the convent
22 23
clumsily squirted cream on her back with a she would recount this story only twice in the next thirteen
flatulent sound of the bottle. She wanted to flip around and years after the incident: once, behind closed doors with the
lie on her back, offer her body to be the Bible in Braille. Annas and Camille; the other time with Vladimeir Gonzales,
She doesn’t admit it to herself, but the way blind old man her college boyfriend for sixteen months. on both times, she
coughed reminded her of her long dead dad. Their other described the sensation as “like no other... (it was) just like
friend Camille Dolatre, forever ’the other’ since grade four, pressing your nipples against an ice cream cart!!”
had her earliest with an afternoon snack in what was going and she felt her
to be a slumber party at Belen’s. She climbed out of the bed buds tingling with life, like a naked Nelson Mandela in
she shared with Anna, and crept to the kitchen, careful not Antarctica, brushed by the cold for the very first time. It
to make any sound on the floorboards. She found the fridge stirred feelings inside Belen, to bend over the cart to find
easily, through its clockwork Buddhist hum and click. She her summer afternoon popsicle, a seemingly normal thing
opened the fridge door, and she found a whole new world a normal person would do, but she did try to press and
full of the smell of afternoon rain on a hot pavement, ozone, slide her chest over the ice cream cart surface as covertly
and portraits of nipple-imprints on cold bathroom mirrors. as possible. She found her popsicle, a melon-flavoured one,
it seems that and paid a grimy five peso bill for it
given a sensitive enough antennae, one can hear all the pre- the ice cream man had two
pubescent/pubescent girls rattling and humming and sighing pesos as cut, but Belen felt like a thief paying five pesos
out steams of sexual frustration every summer afternoon all over and with their transaction
Manila. it is a secret wavelength in the AM band, invisible and over for the nth time
unreachable to boys, shared by girls with a wink and a click of both of them unaware it was going to the last
the tongue against cheek and with the soft warm smell of their the ice cream man rolled
school bathrooms on down the street, clanging away into the rest of the
Belen’s earliest sexual incident was with her younger afternoon, into the rest of the summer.
brother William, aka Mongobill, if the neighbourhood kids
got their way. It was summer and Belen was fourteen and Belen and William sat on the curb, Belen strategically
she pressed her chest against the cold surface of the ice cream covering the front of her damp Hanes from her brother’s
cart as she tried to peek to see what flavours the ice cream eyes
man had. She still hadn’t developed her breasts to their size proclaiming I’ve no bra in Morse
40s yet, so she was still braless like a militant feminist that with her long left arm. Mongobill
summer. The only thing standing between her nipples and sat on the curb with spread legs and an open mouth.
the cold ice cream cart was a red cotton Hanes tee-shirt
her mother bought from Cartimar. Belen pressed her chest Belen pulled the cover off and regarded its inside with brand
against the ice cream cart and she felt her nipples getting new eyes. The melonflavoured popsicles were cold and hard
stiff and slightly orange-coloured. The air around it steamed and
24 25
Catholicism In Contemporary
Philippine Society
smelled slightly of a certain coolness, a certain melon-ness. Sister Magdalen sits waiting on the third-to-the-last pew of
She put the popsicles back inside and snapped them against the empty school chapel, under the shade of Saint Michael’s
the curb. She pulled out the popsicles, perfectly halved. statue.
Unable to enjoy it by himself, she had to feed William his She fingers the circular bump of the object in her pocket,
popsicle, rotating it inside his mouth so it’d melt without clockwise.
the cold hurting him. Six summers ago, she learned to just
keep the popsicle steady for William, to just rotate it slowly She lifts the elbow supports of her correctional glasses and
in place, as he learned to push his head back and forth rubs the pink prints that the rubberized contacts left on
around it. That afternoon, as if an omen, William shut his her nosebridge. I know I should’ve listened to mama, she
eyes as he sucked, and he looked very much like an angel thinks, instead of spending twenty minutes a day rubbing
with mongolian eyes. the strain off my nose. She plants her glasses firmly into the
sides of her ears and lifts the front up to her widow’s peak, a
Now safe to use her left hand, Belen took cue from her triangular patch of hair that peeks from below her grey habit,
brother, shut her eyes and started sucking on her popsicle. lewd like an untucked shirttail in a family picture-taking.
It was like any other summer afternoon popsicle she had She makes a dove-like form with her hands and rubs her
had before, nice and cold and tasted like melon, but Belen face from the tip of her nose to her eyes out to her temples
enjoyed this summer afternoon popsicle, what was to be to her cheeks down to her chin. She grimaces three times,
her last summer afternoon popsicle, like no other summer trying to loosen up. You’re so tense, Irene, she tells herself.
afternoon popsicle in the world. She loved it, and was She uses the name she was baptized with whenever she has
ashamed to be seen with it. She enjoyed it like a woman the chance, more often than not when she’s trying to calm
would. herself down.
She fingers the circular bump of the object in her pocket,

counter-clockwise.
“This should be a cinch for you, you’ve dealt with worse

things in the past,” she tells herself, now out loud. Like
when Father Philip started dozing off in the middle of the
Annunciation and you were sitting right beside him on the
first pew, and then he started snoring and with you praying
with your head down, the rest of the chapel thought it was
you who were snoring, as Father Philip is beyond dozing
off in the middle of the rosary, even when everyone started
26 27
filing to go outside and enjoy some pineapple punch and Planktons of dust dance around the streams of sunbeam.
Father Philip was then drooling into the part where manna She removes her glasses and wipes the lens with a white
rains down on the Israelites. kerchief, for effect.
Or like when Our Lady of Sorrows found out that they “You see, Adrian, it’s—” the sound of the chapel doorknobs
needed a guitar player for their choir group and you turning stops her in midsentence. Her heart skips a beat.
suggested your cousin Bong Trinidad, whom you knew She drops her glasses on the chapel floor and accidentally
had his own guitar and would bring it to choir practice, steps on it. She feels the wiry frames yield and the crystal
who indeed came to church with his guitar, a brutish black crunch. She hears the doors creak open, and then click shut.
electric guitar!!! The Lamb of God bleating in agony!!! Suddenly, Sister Magdalen feels like she’s jumping off of a
cloud.
“Do you know what this is, hm?” she asks someone in
particular, although presently absent. She practices gesturing
with her hands, slowly, smoothly, as if talking to a tenyear-
old kid. She holds out an imaginary object with her right
hand’s thumb and pointer, waving it for emphasis. “Do
you even know how to use this?” she imagines her absent
audience’s hands inside his pockets, or maybe behind his
back, his eyes to the floor. Most probably he’ll be squirming
by now, just thirty seconds into her sermon.
She fingers the circular bump of the object in her pocket,

clockwise. She presses on it experimentally, and the object
squirms inside its packet. Like a snake!!! she observes
excitedly.
“Where’d you get this, anyway?” she asks with a frown.

Again, she holds out the imaginary object, pointing it to
the imaginary position of her absent audience’s nose. She
imagines his gaze flying like a butterfly around the room,
from the floor to the pew to the candles to the cross. The
image makes her smile.
28 29
Service With A Simile Mula Sa Probinsya,
Habang Nagbabakasyon
Isabela Ricaforte Mag-isang nakatayo ang dampa sa malawak na kadiliman
na mahihinuhang isang bukid o kaya nama’y damuhan
saleslady sa isang ukayan
kung araw, kung saan ako’y naghihintay, sinisilip ang mga
bituwin. Tatlong oras na akong naglalakad sa dilim nang
“Ay, ma’am, bagay po sa inyo ’yang blouse na pinili niyo,
nahanap ko ang lugar na’to. Naisipang magpahinga muna
at tingnan niyo, o, katerno pa ng bag niyo, bumubuo ng
nang kaunti, o ’di kaya’y hintayin na lang ang pagsikat ng
isang imahe na maihahalintulad sa isang guhit ng mga
araw. Mula sa highway, may mahihinang busina ng mga
berdeng bulubunduking panakanakang umaalon patungo
biyaherong puyat, papaalis at papauwi.
sa rosas na orisante ng pawisang katawan ng isang babaeng
nahihimbing nang hubo at walang kumot sa isang mainit
Nasaan na kaya ang bus ko? Nangangalahati na kaya ito sa
na kuwarto sa Mexico, ’di naiiba sa Sleep (1914) ng alemang
biyahe? O nasa istasyon pa rin kaya, naghihintay, nagtataka
abstraktong pintor na si Paul Klee.”
kung bakit hindi makaalis?
Nakatayo ako sa harap ng iyong apartment, mainit ang

pisngi. Nahihiya ba ako sa’yo? ’Di ko maigalaw ang aking
mga paa, para umalis, maglakad papalayo. Nasira ang plano
ko, akala ko sasama ka sa akin kapag niyaya kita. “Bilis, ’wag
ka nang mag-impake, puwede tayong bumili ng damit dun,
ng sipilyo” sabay bati ng sampal sa kaliwang pisngi. Sinara
mo ang pinto, hindi man lang narinig ang mga plano ko
para sa atin, ’pag nakarating na tayo dun. Hindi talaga
mapipilit ang may ayaw.
Nakatayo ako sa harap ng iyong apartment, nagbibilang,

hinihintay ang pagbalik ng lakas ng mga binti, ng mga paa,
nang makapaglakad na, makapagbiyahe.
Isang oras na lang, luluwas na ang bus. Malayo pa ang

istasyon, ’di ako sigurado kung makakahabol pa, pero
handang subukan.
30 31
Nandito pa rin ako sa tapat ng iyong apartment, nagbibilang. Ipinanganak pala akong kaliwete gaya ng aking ama, kilala
Hindi talaga mapipilit ang may ayaw. sa kanilang opisina bilang “Left-Hand Willie”. “Bakit?”
malamang na itinanong ng isang bagong empleyado.
~ Hihithit ng yosi ang isa sa kanyang mga naging sekretarya,
sasabihing “Pakaliwa kasi ang liko ng ari niya, kapag matigas”
May kakaibang halimuyak ang mahal na kape, masayang bago ibubuga ang usok sa labas ng bintana ng banyo.
pabungad sa unang umaga na sana tayo’y magkasama,
masayang pabungad na ’di mo kayang tutulan. May kasabay Marami akong namana mula sa kanya: mahinang tuhod at
na almusal: pan de sal at mantikilya, o ’di kaya’y pancakes baga, ang hugis ng ilong at mata raw, sabi ng ilang kamag-
at bacon. anak, ang pagiging pikon, at ang pagiging kaliwete, kasama
ang mga sikretong kasabay nito.
Nakahubad pa tayong dalawa, malamig ang dampi ng
kumot sa mainit na balat, gulu-gulo pa ang buhok mula Sikreto, sikreto, at muli, sikreto.
sa pagkakahiga. Mag-uunat ka ng katawan bago tumayo
mula sa kama. Iaabot ko sa’yo ang kape. Kasama sana ito ~
sa plano.
Mainit mong inihahain ang iyong sarili sa akin, inakala
Pero hindi, ayaw mo, hindi na kita pinilit. ko, kahit na nagkapatung-patong ang mga sikreto natin,
magkasama, at sa isa’t-isa.
~
Sumisikat na ang araw.
Naalala ko pa ang aking kasal sa’yo, kahit sa panaginip lang
nangyari. Pinilit kitang sagutin ang tanong ko: “Gusto ko, Naalala ko ang plano: sisilip tayo sa bintana ng bus nang
sa bundok ako ikasal” sabi mo sa akin. ’Di na kailangan ng sabay, gigisingin kita kung tulog ka pa. Sisilip tayo sa bintana
mga bisita o testigo, kalapati’t singsing lang, masaya ka na. at ituturo ko sa’yo ang ating destinasyon: isang bundok.
“Sa Arayat, sa Apo, kung saan man sa Cordilleras. Basta, sa
bundok. ’Wag mo nang itanong kung bakit.” ~
Gusto mo, sa bundok ka ikasal. Hindi ko na itinanong kung Nag-iisa. Nasa kuwarto, sa loob ng bahay namin, hinihintay
bakit. ang tawag ng busina ng orasan na ibinigay mo sa akin. “If
faith/love could move mountains, what would move you?”
~ ang tanong mo sa sulat na kasama ng regalo.
32 33
Bourgeois #2
Dadaanan kita sa inyo, bago ako umalis. Sasama ka kaya ______ loves her fantasies ______, and one of her favourites
kung yayain kita? is the one where she’s a librarian for ______. It’s a hot day
in the library and ______ comes in with an overdue copy of
Hindi ko alam, wala akong sagot. ______. Like in ______ of her fantasies, ______ is ______
and ______ and they start discussing ______ when ______
~ accidentally ______ the ______ and he ______ to ______
and then he accidentally ______ his ______ and they start
Nagtatalik ang mga ngipin sa tuwing ngunguya ng dila, ______ behind ______.
sa paghalik, tila isang simpleng sagot sa isang simpleng
tanong. ______ also likes to go to ______, and if you ask her why
she’d probably say “Darling, I’d rather be ______ than be
Sa bundok, kapag itinanong, sasagot ka kaya ng “Oo”? ______, you know that, but they have a new ______ and
that’d why I’m going. It’s for the ______, and nothing but.”
Papunta na ako sa inyo, naglalakad sa dilim. Mula sa highway, And you know she’s ______ although you can’t ______ it.
may mahihinang busina ng mga biyaherong puyat, papaalis
at papauwi. ______ has ______ as ______ as ______, but they’re not
______, she just has them for ______. She has an original
copy of ______, paid ______ for it, and it has been her
favourite ______ for the past ______ now, she knows the
______ by heart, but deep inside she knows that just like
with the ______, it’s all for ______.
La pastie de la bourgeoisie!!!
34 35
Use “Paradox” Getting To Know
In A Sentence Your Body
Dox? Paano ba tayo makakatakas mula dito sa time para paa – tuhod – balikat – ulo
paa – tuhod – CPU – ulo
paa – balljoint – CPU – ulo
treadmill – balljoint – CPU – ulo
36 37
Mula Sa Faralamalzi – Filipino
Phonetic Phrasebook
44th Edition
Chapter 25, Section 4: Dating, Courtship, COLONY TITLE AND/OR PLANETARY SYSTEM HERE).
Naniniwala ako sa (INSERT BELIEF SYSTEM HERE) at sa
Marriage, Sexual Relations, and More
ipinaglalaban ng (INSERT POLITICAL AFFILIATION HERE).
Mahilig ako sa (INSERT ANIMAL/FOOD OF PREFERENCE
HERE) at sa (INSERT LEGAL SPORTS ACTIVITY HERE).
4a) at the Bar
Ikaw?”
LET-SEETO, HUOO-TUIIO SETU-WOO ED: GEY SETU-WOO-
WEE POOKIMUGEY GWE-EEENRO GER. WAPOOKI-MU
LUWAG-GO YA Y BIWAPOOKIMU WAG-GO WAG-GO GO 4b) at the Fancy Restaurant
POOKI-MU DEEN, WAG-GO GEY YA WAG-GO KEPYASMO OO-
TUI WAG-GO GEY. ’KUT-ADKO’WAG-GO SETU, HUOO-TUIIO ‘KADEME KUTPOA’.
• “Paumanhin, hindi ako puwede: may iba akong kasama • “‘Wine-Taster’ ang hiningi ko, hindi ‘Kademe Endoscopy
ngayong gabi. Nasa banyo lang siya at binabasa ang kanyang Cocktail Blend’.”
buhok sa braso’t binti, nang maestilo niya ang mga ito nang
mas maayos.” POOKI-MU, YA Y WA WAG-GO IHI-WAHIN POOKI-MU ROR-
TRI, HUOOTUIIO ORPOOKI-MU.
WAG-GOGAL WAG-GO Y-LO TEWA YAGMO POOKI-MU SETU, • “Kadalasan, patay at luto na ang pagkaing ihinahain ng
HUOOTUIIO EPYSETU WAG-GO LEEFE-TIA, Y SETU-D PA AYS,
WA WAG-GO POOKI-MUGEY SETU WA GEYIT PALIK POOKI-
waiter sa amin, hindi vice versa.”
MU.
GEYPOOKI-MU OO-TUI WA YAGMO POOKI-MU LEEFE-TIA,
• “Pakitanggal ang tatlong antena mo mula sa sentido ko, LUWAG-GO POOKI-MUWA WAG-GO POOKI-MU SETUYAGMO
hindi telepatiko ang aking uri, at bukod pa diyan, heto na GEY WA POOKI-MU NU, WAGEYYA WAG-GO ILUWAG-GO
ang kasama ko na kumakandirit pabalik mula sa banyo.” WAG-GO YAGMO WA Y POOKI-MU POOKI-MUY. ISSY YA WAG-
GO WA-POOKI-MU POOKI-MU WA, YA WA GREE.
STWEEER, PROOFTU POOKI-MUGEY SETU, NIMKUKUOUOU. • “Masarap itong sopas na inorder mo para sa akin, kung
• “Sige, kakausapin na kita, basta iluwa mo lang ang kasama wala lang sana siyang sibilisadong mikrokosmong malay na
ko, ngayon din.” umusbong mula sa wala, namayagpag nang ilang minuto
bago tuluyang nilamon ng daloy ng panahon at kasaysayan.
SETU-WOO (INSERT NAME HERE), DOORPFU, (INSERT Pero ’yun ata ang nagbibigay-lasa sa sopas na’to, kaya okey
COLONY TITLE AND/OR PLANETARY SYSTEM HERE)-SIGG. na rin siguro.”
SETU-WOO POOKI-MU (INSERT BELIEF SYSTEM HERE) Y
POOKI-MU IPIWA (INSERT POLITICAL AFFILIATION HERE).
GEY SETU-WOO POOKI-MU (INSERT ANIMAL/FOOD OF HUOO-TUIIO YA SETU-WOO YUWA-W AYS: TAU SETU-WOO.
REFERENCE HERE) Y POOKI-MU (INSERT LEGAL SPORTS • “Hindi ata ako matutunawan diyan: Carbon-based
ACTIVITY HERE). AAAL-OP? Lifeform ako.”
• “Ako si (INSERT NAME HERE), Filipino, taga(INSERT
38 39
4c) during the Official Courtship 4d) at the Wedding Reception
POOKI-MU Y POOKI-MU KEPYASMO, WA HUOO-TUIIO HUOO-TUIIO UPOTSUI WAG-GO KUTIN, KEPYASMO GEY-
SETU GEY WAGGO GEY POOKI-MU POOKI-MU ILUWAG-GO BEEDOP-PIYE SETU UPOTSUI.
WA WAG-GO WAG-GO LEEFE-TIA Y YA GEYIMOO-O WAG-GO
• “Hindi ’yan ang buffet, mga kamag-anak ko ’yan.”
WA WA ILUWAG-GO KEPYASMO.
• “Salamat sa mga bulaklak, kahit na hindi ko sila maenjoy WAG-GO WA ‘to have and to hold’, HUOO-TUIIO ‘to half and be
nang maayos dahil sa limitasyon sa bilang ng kulay na sold’.
kayang tanggapin ng aking tatlong mata para makita ang • “Ang sinabi ay ‘to have and to hold’, hindi ‘to half and be
tunay na kulay ng kanilang mga talulot.” sold’.”
NU SETU-WOO-WEE POOKI-MU. ED WA GEY WAG-GO GEY GEY WA WAG-GO KEPYASMO WA YAGMO POOKI-MU LEEFE-
POOKI-MU, Y WA YAGMO HG-EEN YYAGMO SETU-WOO HU TIA, WAGGO KEPYASMO Y WA POOKI-MU KEPYASMO OO-
LU POOKI-MU SETU WAGGO PISS-SED YYAGMOSPRO . TUI GEY 5000 STROO WA GEY POOKI-MU LEEFE-TIA POOKI-
• “Wala akong isyu sa pagpiPDA. Puwede naman MU-POOKI-MU MORTU Y GEY Y POOKI-MU SETU WA SETU,
YA YA SETU WA WA POOKI-MU WAG-GO Y Y OO-TUI POOKI-
tayong maglakad nang hawak-kamay sa inyo, pero dapat
MU SETU POOKI-MU Y WAG-GO SETU OO-TUI GEYIMOOO Y
nakaEnclosed Mobile Oxygen Atmosphere Suit ako dahil
GEY WAG-GO GEYGEY LU POOKI-MU LEEFE-TIA.
lason para sa uri ko ang Xenon-based atmosphere niyo.”
• “Maganda nga naman ang mga singsing na binigay mo
HUOO-TUIIO YAGMO WA WA HU POOKI-MU GEY WA SETU
sa akin, ngunit ang mga batong nakadikit sa sentro ng mga
SETU POOKIMU POOKI-MU YAGMO WA YA SETU-WOO-WEE ito ay may 5000 cycle radioactive half-life na magbibigay sa
Y LU HUHUIOEER? akin ng sari-saring kanser at magbabawas ng tatlong taon
• “Hindi mo ba naiisip na dahil sa mas mabilis na pag-ikot mula sa buhay ko kada-araw na suot ko sila, kaya itatago
ng planeta ko kaysa sa planeta mo ay na masyado akong ko na muna sila sa isang kahong-tanso at ipapatong ito sa
matanda para sa’yo?” eskaparante ko sa kuwarto natin nang lagi ko itong makita
at maalala ang tindi ng init ng iyong pagmamahal para sa
POOKI-MUl WA IMOO-O, PROOFTU KEPYASMO GEYLUWAG- akin.”
GO SETU, NIMKUKUOUOU.
• “Sige, pakakasalan na kita, basta iluwa mo lang ang mga HUOO-TUIIO UPOTSUI WAG-GO KUTIN, RUYTUR UPOTSUI.
magulang ko, ngayon din.” • “Hindi ’yan ang buffet, ’yung pari ’yan.”
40 41
4e) during the Honeymoon LUWAG-GO WA MEL SETU-WOO TUIN-TO?
• “Tama lang ba na buntis ulit ako kaagad?”
TUK SETU KUTILUWAG-GOWAG-GO WAG-GO Y WA UPOTSUI?
HUOOTUIIO WA SETU-WOO KADEME.
• “Bakit ko kailangang suotin ang aparato na ’yan? Hindi 4g) at Home
naman ako Kademe.”
HUOO-TUIIO UPOTSUI WAG-GO POOKI-MU, KEPYASMO
GUOU-PREEK-SUK: EEIOUOU SETU UPOTSUI. BEEDOP-PIYE: YAYA UPOTSUI.
• “Aray, teka lang: tenga ko ’yan.” • “Hindi ’yan ang almusal, mga anak: yaya niyo ’yan.”
POOTGEE-NUH. KUTILUWAG-GO WY YAYA LU POOKI-MU KEPYASMO

BEEDOP-PIYE WY, Y POOKI-MU WAG-GO Y LU POOKI-MU
• “Oops.”
KEPYASMO. SETU-WEE POOKIMU, KUTYA WA SETU-WEE
GEYWA WA. NU SETU-WOO-WEE BUWAG-GO GEY WA ISSY,
HUOO-TUIIO YA SETU-WOO YUWA-W AYS: TAU SETU-WOO. KUTYA GEYKUT SETU-WOO WAG-GO KEPYASMO, LU GEY
• “Hindi ata ako matutunawan diyan: Carbon-based WAG-GO KEPYASMO SETU. POOKI-MU YAGMO?
Lifeform ako.” • “Kailangan natin ng bagong yaya para sa mga anak natin,
at ng isa pang katulong para sa mga gawaing-bahay. Alam
kong gipit tayo sa pera, kaya naisipan kong maghanap na
4f) during the Pregnancy rin ng trabaho. Wala akong ibang maisip na solusyon kundi
’yun, o ’di kaya magpakabit ako ng anim pang mga braso,
LUWAG-GO WA YAGMO GEYSETU WAG-GO WAG-GO Y SETU para mas mapadali ang mga gawaing-bahay ko. Ano sa
WAG-GO OO-TUI KUT WA WAG-GO LUWAG-GO WAG-GO
palagay mo?”
WAG-GO WA WA?
• “Tama lang ba na lumobo’t mamukol nang agad-agaran PYA Y WA SETU YA WAG-GO GUGUTO-PU: HUOO-TUIIO
ang tiyan ko nang ganito kahit na isang araw pa lang ang SETU WAYA WAG-GO OVIN-TO HU WA SETU-WOO-WEE
lumilipas mula nang una tayong nagsisiping?” WAG-GO POOKI-MU KEPYASMO YAGMO SETU POOKI-
MU KEPYASMO, KUTGEY, Y SETU KEPYASMO WA YAGMO.
LUWAG-GO WA SETU-WOO MUWAG-GOBEEDOP-PIYE? LUWAG-GO IMOO-O BUWAG-GO WAG-GO?
• “Tama lang ba na lingguhan ako kung manganak?” • “Patawad at napalamig ko masyado ang Cesium-40:
hindi ko napatay agad-agad ang pugon dahil nahirapan
LUWAG-GO WA WAKUT KEPYASMO BEEDOP-PIYE WY WAG- akong pindutin ang switch sanhi ng mga tumor ko sa mga
GO POOKIMU-POOKI-MU? daliri, kamay, at braso dala ng pagsuot ko ng mga singsing
• “Tama lang ba na kinakain ng mga anak natin ang isa’t- na bigay mo. Okey lang ba kung ipaghanda kita ng ibang
isa?” pananghalian?”
42 43
SETU LUWAG-GO POOKI-MU HUHUIOEER WA WA LUWAG- KEYNDEE-EERG-O SETU WAG-GO LEEFE-TIA KEPYASMO
GO WA SETUWOO WAG-GO SETU WA KUTYA GEYKUT SETU- WAG-GO Y WA, OO-TUI GEYWA: ILUWAG-GO SETU BUWAG-
WOO WAG-GO KEPYASMO, LU GEY WAG-GO KEPYASMO GO KUTILUWAG-GOWAG-GO POOKI-MU HUHUIOEER WA
SETU. HUOO-TUIIO YAGMO POOKI-MUWA OO-TUI. HUOO-TUIIO YSETU WAG-GO SETU.
• “Gusto ko lang sabihin sa’yo na nagbibiro lang naman ako • “Sinubukan mong burahin mula sa isip ko ang aking mga
nung binanggit ko na ‘magpakabit kaya ako ng anim pang pangarap at panaginip, pero ’di ito gumana: ilang beses ko
mga braso, para mas mapadali ang mga gawaing-bahay ko’. bang kailangang sabihin sa’yo na hindi telepatiko ang uri
Hindi mo sana ito tinotoo.” ko.”
GUOU-PREEK-SUK: EEIOUOU SETU UPOTSUI.

4h) during the Divorce Proceedings • “Aray, teka lang: tenga ko ’yan.”
STWEEER, PROOFTU PAT-EENGU SETU, NIMKUKUOUOU.

• “Sige, kakausapin na kita, basta iluwa mo lang ang abogado Next Chapter: Making Your Way Around The
ko, ngayon din.”
Basic Faralamalzinn Thirteen-Spoked Military
SETU WA HUHUIOEER WAG-GO KEPYASMO BEEDOP-PIYE City-State By The Beach: The Sights To See, The
WY. SETUWEE GEY LU POOKI-MU WAG-GO GEY WAG-GO NU
SETU-WOO POOKIMU GEY LU POOKI-MU POOKI-MUPOOKI-
People To Eat
MUGEY SETU POOKI-MU, HU POOKI-MU KUT POOKI-MU
POOKI-MU SETU, Y WA WAG-GO HG-EEN YYAGMOSPRO
WROR-TRI WA WAKUTKUT LU POOKI-MU, Y POOKI-MU
ILUWAG-GO KUT-POOKI-MU, ED WA WY Y WAG-GO POOKI-
MU, HU GEY WA WAG-GO KEPYASMO POOKI-MU ILUWAG-
GO KEPYASMO POOKI-MU WA, Y KUTKUTY WA ILUWAG-GO
HG-EEN.
• “Iiiwan ko muna sa’yo ang mga anak natin. Alam kong
mahirap para sa kanila ang lumaki nang wala ako sa piling
nila, pero mas mahirap para sa kanila kung isasama ko
sila sa’kin, dahil sa dobleng-lakas ng puwersa ng grabidad
sa planeta ko, pati na rin ang Oxygen-based atmosphere
namin na nakakalason para sa kanila, pero pagdating nila
sa kanilang ika-sampung cycle, puwede na nating paghatian
ang pagpapalaki sa kanila, dahil mas malaki na ang mga air
sacs ng kanilang mga baga sa edad na iyon, at kakayanin na
nilang huminga ng Oxygen.”
44 45
Ilang Librong Mababasa Sa Libreria Ng
Panaginip, Bangungot, At Alaala Ni Melinda
Service With A Simile P. Gaba Habang Siya’y Nahihimbing Sa
Malambot Niyang Kama
Wency Espiritu Ang Birheng Agta

tagatanggap ng mga order ni Giovanni Gasparil
Isang birheng agta ang nabighani ng isang alaherong
sa isang shawarmahan arabo gamit ang diyamante’t pabango. Pinagtankaang
iwan ng arabo ang agta matapos niya itong madunselya,
“Good afternoon sir-ma’am, welcome to CuddleBerry lingid sa kaalaman ng arabo na ang agtang pinagparausan
Shawarma House, may I take your order please, sir-ma’am, ay ang babaylan ng kanilang tribo. Nangyari’y bumulong
like a goosestepping SS national socialist stormtrooper of ang babaylan ng isang sumpa na nagdulot sa alahero ng
the Third Reich’s Polish campaign, keeping watch over matinding pananakit ng tiyan, walang tigil na pagdurugo
the undesirable Juden schwarze swine of Krakow albeit ng kaselanan, at mula sa balbong dibidib nito’y umusbong
mindlessly so, I might add, so I may invoke to the tribunals ang isang pares ng malulusog na suso.
in Nuremberg for crimes against humanity that I was
merely following orders from people higher up in the chain
of command, namely you, sir-ma’am?”
Ay, Robot!
ni David Perez
Ang reklusibong baklang henyo na waging nakapaglikha
ng kauna-unahang taong-robot na may ganap na laya ng
paggalaw, pagramdam, at kunsensiya ang napaibig mismo
sa kanyang nilikhang nilalang, isang napakabawal na
makataong subhetibong reaksiyon sa mata ng kanilang
mekanikong lipunan ng obhetibong pananaliksik at pag-
iisip, kaya ang pagsasama ng dalawa ay nauwi sa lungkot
at trahedya: ilang dekadang pagkakakulong sa reklusibong
baklang henyo, at todong-pagdekomisyon sa kauna-
unahang taong-robot na may ganap na laya ng paggalaw,
pagramdam, at kunsensiya.
Habulan: Patungong Buwan

ni George Aguirre
Ang dalawang pinakamahusay na espiya ng Global
Inteligencia—isang bigong babaero na nagsisising traydor
sa gobyerno, isang henyong femme fatale na tapat na
46 47
nanunungkulan para sa bansa, kapwa clone ng isa’t isa mula maputlang babaeng anak ng huklubang agnasing abogado
sa isang kurot ng buhok mula sa anit ng pinakadalubhasang na, salamat na rin sa walangkamatayang pag-uudyok ng
detektib ng mundo—ang magkatunggaling hinahanap ang matandang bangkay-pari, kanyang niyayang palayag na
susi para sa paggamit ng pinakamasamang imbensiyong magtanan, lingid sa kaalaman na ang maputlang babaeng
pandigmaan ng Imperyong Tsina: ang buwan bilang napupusuan ay hindi pala babae at hindi pala bangkay,
higanteng kanyon mula sa kalawakan. kundi isa palang lalakeng buhay-na-buhay …
Mga Pirata Ng Karagatang 1452 Sic Itur Ad Astra: Bandido Ng Mga Bituwin
Tomo Labing-Apat: Ang Pagbawi Sa Sultanate ni Analyn Añonuevo
ni Dina Alfaro Ang isang pilotong palaaway at isang bandidong bulag ay
Ang kagila-gilalas na pakikipagsapalaran ng palatawa’t nagmamadaling makarating sa isang planetang palengke
palangiting pirata na sa totoong buhay ay ang inetsa- upang maabutan at mapigilan ang pag-benta ng serbisyong-
puwerang batang sultan ng sultanate ng mga badjao sa alila ng kanilang pinakainiingat-ingatang kasamang
mga karagatan ng Celebes at Sulu; sa kanyang patuloy na prinsesang pasaway—ang tanging tagapagmana ng trono
pagtutuligsa sa kilabot na kurakot na kapitan na siya ring ng isang buong planetang kaharian—mula sa mga ganid na
pekeng sultan ng trono ng kanilang sultanate; at sa huling galamay ng isang mayordomong manyakis. Nakatakas ang
misyon ng palatawa’t palangiting pirata na palayain ang lahat tatlo at habang pabalik sa planetang kinalakhan, nakipagtalik
ng mga alipin sa ilalim ng pekeng rehimen ng masamang ang pasaway na prinsesa sa palaaway na piloto at sa bulag
kapitan. na bandido na matapos pagparausan ng piloto at prinsesa
ay pinatay ang dalawa, parehong ginilitan tenga hanggang
tenga. Ngayon ay mag-isa, tinawagan ng bandidong bulag
ang mayordomong manyakis, ipinakita ang mga bangkay na
Ang Patay-Buhay Sa Lunsod Ng Mga Uod wala man lang tapis, upang mabayaran ang bandido nang
ni Carlito Uy
sapat at mabilis.
Sa ilalim ng lupa’y may isang lunsod—itinayo sa butu-buto
ng libu-libong bangkay ng daan-daang digmaan ng Mundong
Ibabaw—na nasa ilalim ng pamumuno ng dalawang nag-
uumpugang pilosopiya ng kamatayan: ang relihiyon ng Ang Panatag Kong Pagtulog
isang matandang bangkaypari, at ang burukrasya ng isang Tungo Sa Dulo Ng Mundo
huklubang agnasing abogado. Sa lunsod na’to ay may isang ni Chandler Lucena
batang agaw-buhay na salamankero—na siya ring sikretong Sa gitna ng pinakamahabang black-out ng taon,
anak at tagapagmana ng simbahan ng kamatayan ng naalimpungatan ang isang retiradong pulis sa mga tili ng
matandang bangkay-pari—na minsa’y nagtankang umibig sa saklolo ng isang desperadong buntis na walang puknat na
48 49
hinahabol ng isang pulutong ng mga mala-aninong nilalang. Random Access Malady
Dinala ng pulis ang buntis sa kanyang opisina at agad- ni Isaiah Lacuesta
agaran itong nagkuwento ito tungkol sa mga nanghahabol Ang bawal na pag-iibigan ng isang tekno-salamankero at
sa kanya, sa kumbentong kanyang pinanggalingan, at sa ng kanyang padrino ay kinondenahan ng kanilang tekno-
kanyang dinadalantao nang siyam na buwan na. Hindi sambahan nang mahanap ng tekno-obispo ng kanilang
naniwala ang pulis at sa tindi ng pag-aalala ay agad niyang parokya ang cache-dump ng kanilang masasayang alaala,
dinala ang buntis sa ospital at doo’y sinamahan hanggang sa na nagdulot sa taos-pusong pagetsa-puwera ng tekno-
manganak at mamatay kasabay ng pagbalik ng kuryente at salamankero at ng kanyang padrino sa kanilang sarili mula
sa biglaang pagkawala ng lahat ng mga sanggol na kasisilang sa kanilang tekno-sambahan, at sa selektibong pagbubura
lang puwera sa sanggol na bitbit na binalot sa balabal ng ng kanilang mga memorya. Ngayon, sa kanilang unang
yumaong ina, sabay dalaw ng lindol sa lumang ospital at gabi sa labas ng tekno-sambahan, basambasa at nalalapnos
sa gitna ng mga ungol ng mga pasyenteng agaw-buhay sa init ng asidong-ulan, walang alaala ng kanilang abilidad
ay may boses na bumulong sa tainga ng pulis, malamig, o nakaraan, napilitan ang dating tekno-salamankero at ang
napangingilabot, patay: “Bitawan mo na kasi ’yang binibitbit kanyang dating padrino na ibenta nang pira-piraso ang
mong kunganoman.” At ang pinanggalingan ng boses? Isang kanilang katawan.
munting bukbuking pusang-gala.
Minsan May Isang Kuwento…

Peloy Pilakbuto: Prinsipe O Pugante? ni Filipino Calvo
ni Gary Lee Nang malaman ng punong-awtor na ang kanyang punong-
Dalawang nag-uumpugang sindikato ng mga kabataang tauhan ay napa-ibig sa punong-mambabasa ng tekstong
mandurukot at manggagantso ang napagdesisyunan nang isinulat, naisipan nitong baguhin ang katauhan ng punong-
tapusin ang daantaong alitan sa pamamagitan ng isang kasalan tauhan upang madiskaril ang pagbabasa ng punong-
sa pagitan ng ermitanyong pinuno ng mga manggagantso at mambabasa, kaya’t nagpalipat-lipat na lang ng pahina ng libro
babaeng kapatid ng prinsipe ng mga mandurukot. Ngunit ang punong-mambabasa, naghahanap ng ibang kuwentong
sa bisperas ng naitakdang kasalan, natagpuang patay ang mababasa, habang ang punong-tauhan ay tuluyan nang
prinsesa sa kanyang kuwarto at sa ibabaw nito ay ang kapatid naiwan sa tekstong kinalalagyan, naghihintay ng ibang
nitong prinsipe na duguan at may hawak na kutsilyo. At mambabasang maiibigan niya, habang ang punongawtor
ngayon, bilang pugante mula sa kanilang kaharian, siya’y naman ay masaya sa pagitan ng mga salita, linya, pahina.
hinahabol ng pinagsamang kapatiran ng dalawang sindikato
habang kanyang iniimbestigahan ang pagkapatay sa kanyang
kapatid: Sino? Bakit? Paano?
50 51
Natin99
Parang isang koryente ang balita sa mga tahanan, walang Ang mga tauhang atin nang kilala dati pa ay nagtungo sa
bangaw o kantanod na ’di nakakaalam: ang Mahal na hapag ng kainan nang nasisiyahan; si pare, si mare, sina ate
Birhen ng Walang Hanggang Awa ay nagpakita sa Maynila. at kuya ay nasa prosisyon ng Mahal na Birhen ng Walang
Ang ilang nakakita ay lumutang mula sa kanilang sapatos, Hanggang Awa sa telebisyon, sinisikaran ang mga blokada ng
ang iba ay nagtanggal ng kanilang nakabibigting kurbata. Sa sundalo’t pulis. Mahaba ang kanilang nilakad, hanggang sa
isang dako ng mundo, abala ang mga frayle sa pag-iisip ng nagkapasa’t kalyo ang kanilang mga paa. Si tenyente naman
paraan upang pagkakitaan ang milagrong ito. Sa bayan ang ay nasa ibabaw ng tangke, naka-uniporme’t nakasaludo,
may-bahay at padre de pamilya at ang kanilang mga bulilit ang dala ay masisiglang sundalo mula sa kampo, armado at
na nakapalibot sa telebisyon ay kampante na sila’y dati nang agresibo. Iyang handa ni tenyente at mahal na presidenteng
tapat, dati nang tama sa kanilang paniniwala, ginagawa ang donya Victorina ay patuloy na sanhi ng tuwa at saya para
kailangan ukol sa Magandang Balita. sa mga tauhang atin nang kilala dati pa, para kay pare, kay
mare, kina ate at kuya na noon di’y bigla na lang—nang ’di
~ nila namamalayan—na natapakan ng tangke. At nadagdagan
na naman ang mga bituwin at pakpak ng tenyente.
Si Joanna, isang retiradong newscaster, ay nagising mula
sa isang bangungot ng dambuhalang dragong asul na may ~
lumang bugtong para sa kanya na sa pagkagising ay ’di na niya
maalala. Uminom siya ng gatas at bumalik sa pagtulog. Si heneral Locsin, ng Camerines Sur, ay tinutubuan ng
magkapares na suso at pakpak tuwing kabilugan ng buwan.
Naalimpungatan isang gabi si William, isang kartero, nang Ito ay sanhi ng matinding hiya para sa heneral.
may marinig na humahagulgol sa kanyang tabi sa kama.
Pagkabukas ng ilaw, nakitang ang pinanggagalingan ng mga Upang mapatunayan sa kanilang baranggay na burado na
iyak ay ang babaeng nakatato sa kanyang kaliwang braso. mula sa kanyang isipan ang matinding takot ng pag-iisa,
naisipan ni Karen, isang waitress sa barko, na pakasalan ang
Isang lumang bahay sa Quezon City na natupok ng apoy kanyang sarili sa harap ng madla. Tinamaan siya ng kidlat
may dalawampung taon nang nakararaan ang misteryosong pagkalabas ng simbahan. Pinagtawanan siya ng taumbayan.
nanumbalik sa dati nitong anyo bago ang nangyaring sunog.
Nakasindi ang lahat ng ilaw ng bahay ngunit hindi mabuksan- Si Delilah, nanay ng lima, ay magdamagang nakapagtipa ng
buksan ang nakakandadong pintuan. karagdagang ebanghelyo ng Bibliya matapos suotin ang lumang
kuwintas na kanyang binili mula sa ukay-ukay.
~
~
52 53
Binayaan ni Maria Clarang matastas ang kanyang tahiin. Sa telebisyon, mapapait na luha ang tumulo mula sa mga
Tinangka niyang tapusin ito pero hindi nangyari. Isang mata ni Maria Clara ngunit pinahid niya agad ang mga ito
kung anong lungkot ang kumalat sa kanyang katawan. mula sa kanyang mga pisngi bago dumating ang bisita at
Ang telebisyon ang rason, na kanyang naulinig noon, asawa. Nagsaing siyang muli, ang huling anim na takal, at
at makasandali pa’y bukal na ng luha ang kanyang mga ininit ang tawilis na nalabi, kaya’t nang dumating na ang
mata, at siya’y napakanta. Ang tinig na ito ay may dalang bisita at asawa ay sila’y kanyang pinagsilbihan ng tig-isa’t
kakaibang kapangyarihan, kaya’t naiwaksi ng aktong pag- kalahati.
awit ang lungkot na nagpapahina sa kanya. Siya’y nakatakas
mula sa panonood ng telebisyon at agad-agarang nagtago sa ~
silid-dalanginang kinalalagyan ng kanyang mga tahiin.
Isang baliw na nahuli sa aktong pananakal ng isang batang
~ babae ang binugbog ng taumbayan. Sa presinto, paulit-ulit
nitong sinabi na “’Di ako nag-iisa.” Natagpuan itong patay
Isang ’di-makilalang babae ang nakitang nakatambay sa mula sa pagkabigti kinabukasan.
tapat ng simbahan ng San Sebastian at nangungutya ng mga
dumaraang pari at madre gamit ang kanyang kaselanan. Si Farrah, isang tindera sa karinderya, ang umuwi isang gabi
Hinabol ang babae ng mga tanod ngunit hindi siya nahuli. matapos ang dalawang linggong pagkawala na higit na mas bata
Ang tanging ebidensiya ng kanyang pagkatao ay ang naiwang ang hitsura kaysa sa kanyang natural na edad na animnapu’t
tumpok ng kanyang buhok, na isa palang peluka. anim. Wala siyang alaala sa nangyaring pagbabago.
Sa isang entrapment operation nahuli ang batikang kidnapper Lumuha ng dugo si pare Adrian, isang bulag, nang tatlong
na si Edilberto Anonuevo, na binansagang “Pied Piper” araw. Nanumbalik ang kanyang paningin sa ika-apat.
ng kapulisan matapos mahanap sa kanyang tahanan ang
walumpu’t anim na pluta na lahat ay gawa mula sa indibidwal ~
na tibia ng mga bata.
Naging paksa ng salitaan sa bayan ang pagdating ni Maria
Si AJ Moreno, isang batikang aktor, ang natagpuang patay Clara sa silid-dalanginan na namumugto pa rin ang mga
sa kanyang apartment matapos ang dalawang linggong ’di- mata. Ikinatutuwa nila ito dahil sa mga palabas sa telebisyon
pagpunta sa taping ng kanyang telenovelang “Bangkang Papel na katulad nito na kanilang masugid na kinagigiliwan at
Sa Dagatdagatang Apoy”. Nangyari’y naglaslas ng pulso ang hinahangaan umaga hanggang gabi. Sa isang dako naman ay
aktor gamit ang ilang bubog mula sa walong salaming ’di- may mga taong dumadaan sa katakatakang mga pagbabago
umano’y binasag ng aktor bago ito nagpakamatay. ng inuugali dahil sa nangyari. Ang lahat ng kanilang mga
kinukumpisal ay kinalimutan na nila. Ang mga frayle ay
~ natigilan habang nagmimisa sa gulo na naging resulta ng
54 55
nangyaring pagbabago. Hindi na sila gaya ng dati, at ito ay at maayos. Tumigil siya sa pag-awit at pumili ng isang bahay
nakapagdulot sa mga frayle ng matinding lungkot. Ngunit at pumasok sa sala at binuhat ang telebisyon at binitawan
ang lalong nakapang-hina ng kanilang mga loob ay ang ito at sumabog ito sa kanyang paanan at nagsimula siyang
bulung-bulungan nga mga tao na paparating na sa bayan kumanta ng ganito:
ang Mahal na Birhen ng Walang Hanggang Awa—ang Ilaw
na Nagliliwanag sa Lahat ng Pagdududa at Katanungan. “Bulaklak, bulaklak
Si pare Salvi ay nasa banyo, umaalingawngaw ang mga Ako’y isang
hagulgol habang pabilis nang pabilis ang pagpatak ng dugo Bulaklak.”
mula sa kanyang mga pulso.
Salamat sa teknolohiya ng Fingerprint Identification, ang

bangkay ng isang batang mongoloid na inanod sa pampang ng
Ilog Pasig sa Makati ang nakilala bilang si G. Willard Arnaiz,
ang tatlong taon nang nawawalang animnapu’t anim na taong
gulang na bilyonaryong nagmamay-ari ng isang kompanya ng
langis.
Sina Jordan at Joseph, kambal, ay natagpuang patay sa kanilang

bahay, ang mga kamay at paa ng dalawa kapwa nawawala.
Hindi matukoy ang dahilan sa pagkakapatay at pagkuha sa
mga bahagi ng katawan ng dalawa.
Isang akyat-bahay ang may nahanap na diyamante sa loob

ng kaha ang nahuli ng mga tanod na umiiyak sa tapat ng
nakursunadahang bahay.
Pagdating rito ng Mahal na Birhen ng Walang Hanggang

Awa ay hinuli niya ang loob ng mga frayle at iginapos
ito sa isang haligi, at halos buong araw kinantahan nang
malumanay at tapat, na ang dumi at gulo ay nauwi sa malinis
56 57
Bourgeois #3 Fourteen Plans
______ grew up reading ______, and she remembers those What follows is a set of writing plans for the wide-eyed
days with a certain ______, when everything felt ______, practitioner. Some go as far back as 1998, some as recent as
more ______ than ______. Growing up on a steady diet of just last month. All were meant to be written as “Brautigans:”
______ had given her ______ in ______, and when you short books that are “gentle, troubled, deeply odd,” whose
first see her, it shows, and she ______ it. “writing goes beyond eccentricity and into vision at times,
and at others it is personal symptomology. It’s not just a
______ writes poetry in the ____________ mould, although string of books ranging from witty and sensual to decadent
she’s ______ than ______, and truth be told, she’s actually and misbegotten, it’s a rippling, flashing river for the critic
______. A sample sequence from “______, for ______”, a and reader trout-fishers and gold-panners of the present and
much-______ poem, published in ____________: “Death, future to explore,” with “themes of Zen Buddhism, like the
like ______/______ the ______/ And so, we ______ ... / duality of the past and the future and the impermanence of
Arise!” the present.” At least, that was the plan.
She also writes ______ stories, ______ of them, to be exact, Choose a particular plan and keep at it, or mix it with one
all having a distinct ______ flavour to them, as if doused or two of the others, or depart from it completely. Use
in ______ and left to ______. She’s ______ at it than with any of the Fourteen Exercises as narrative device, or not.
her poetry, and the ______ reader is left somewhat ______. Acknowledge their origin from this book, this page, or not.
No real surprise there, as again, she’s a fan of ______, and Any plan is rich enough to begat several dozen singular
we all know how ______ that can be. Her writing has al- interpretations, in various genres, so repetition and similarity
ready brought her to places, as she’d been a writing fellow are not concerns.
in ______ writing workshops, most notably ______, where
she was Fellow for ______. Some of these plans are already in various levels of production
on my desk, and may still see eventual publication. But
Funnily enough, despite her seemingly ______ and ______ nonetheless, they are humbly offered to be used and abused
inclinations, she actually has a ______ and a ______ under by any one and all, under the youthful conceit that these
her bed, ______ from ______. She likes to think that it’s ideas are good ideas, and that one will never run out of
______, but of course, we all know better. them.
La pastie de la bourgeoisie!!! If I Die On A Combat Zone, Box Me Up And Ship Me Home:

a soldier lies dying in the Mindanao mud, memories shuffling
in and out of focus juxtaposed with random moments of
now, distinct and sharp. Divide main story into three: 1)
burial, 2) eulogies, and 3) moment of death. Different POV
per section.
58 59
Fictional/future dictionary/lexicon with humorous entries, The narrator remembers a former love in a longform letter of
blatantly political, with line-drawings, and how-to-use-in-a- delight, regret, and apology, a letter that will never be sent.
sentence examples Will center on drinking.
Bio of schizo/MPD psycho, each 500-1,000-word personality April & May (twins? friends? enemies? months? strangers?
segueing into each other and/or devise three-coin-toss I Ching names for breasts?)
method of choosing which personality/section to read/write
(prospective title: “The Several States Of Susanna Sandoval”) Exogeologist wakes stranded in a haunted city on an alien
planet, tries to determine reason for mysterious desolation
A set of 13-26 characters living in one apartment complex of once-great metropolis. Artefacts abound. Exogeologist
in QC sharing sexual perversions. Each chapter should focus tries to survive, to find a way home. Allegory on immigrant
on two-three sexual perversions (voyeurism, bestiality, golden experience.
showers, et al) shared by two to four characters. All even-
numbered chapters are set in bedrooms, all odd-numbered Retrospective on local visual artist Bobo S., as new charcoal/
chapters are set somewhere else. First chapter features new B&W photography plates are found posthumously in a folder
neighbour (Charlie?) encountering girl with dog and ice labeled “Ruins”. Plates contain images of burning houses,
cream. Story happens in one weekend, Friday evening rotting food, disassembled furniture, empty streets, crashed
to Sunday morning. Last chapter: an orgy. Last scene: a cars, and most intriguingly: the breasts of an unknown
moneyshot. woman. A mystery.
Factory town built for workers fabricating “dark dream Noli and El Fili as written by Tim Yap (as series of columns)
counterparts” of real world objects/people. One factory hand and/or Ian Casocot (as blog entries)
sees name in last week’s To-Do List, later encounters “dark
dream counterpart self ” as it slowly takes over factory hand’s A letter comes to a young man, mid-20s, out of nowhere,
life (school, parents, lover, eventually work). Existential requesting presence in morgue to claim effects of a man he
concerns arise, a confrontation on a dark hill ensues. does not know, late-50s. Among other things, young man is
Defeated, factory hand leaves town for other neighbouring given a key to the dead man’s house. Young man investigates
factory town. and discovers dead man to be a local comic book artist, also:
his long-lost father, the father he never knew. Young man tries
A retired priest tells all in a paperback confessional recounting to trace father’s life through fragments of narratives: comic
twenty-six distinct sins from twenty-six distinct sinners. strips, annotated travelogue, photographs, and intriguingly,
letters from a girl from Bicol. A travel ensues: chronologically,
This Is The Soundtrack Of Your Life: series of folios of verse biologically, geographically.
written as tribute/retrospective to specific local bands. Each
poem song-specific, each folio album-specific. Ninoy Aquino & the Bullet: a Race (after Zeno’s Arrow
Paradox)
60 61
Service With A Simile a cancer
Junjun Hidalgo scenes from a room
attendant sa information desk
sa isang bookstore
Leaving
Must you go home pillow-haired and bag-eyed in the
“I’m afraid we currently do not have a copy of that book,
middle
sir, but if you’d like, we might have an old copy of it
of the night? Your mouth smells like garlic. Where is your
somewhere in our bargain bins where you’d be akin to a 21st
mouthwash? You left your soap on the sink. It’s crawling
century Raymond Dart, looking through fistfuls of blasted
with roaches.
rock fragments from the Taung Quarries of 1930s South
Africa, not knowing of his destiny to radically challenge
and change all of the long held beliefs about the Eurasian- Moving
centric Evolution of Man by finding an incomplete juvenile The room is small. The window looks out
skull dating back to two million years ago which he names to another room. Where is the mattress?
Australopithecus africanus, thus paving the way to the Someone was here once.
eventual acceptance of the now universally-acknowledged Something happened.
notion that Africa is the cradle of human civilization. Or we
can order you a new copy if that’s what you want.” Moving
Crouching. Standing. I wonder what you’re up to.
Running? My feet ache in midstride.
Waking
The bed is hard on my back. The pillow is lumpy.
Under
the thick blanket, my legs are red and sweaty. I kick off
the covers. The bed is
empty.
Asking
Yes. This is
happening.
Don’t look
away. No.
Do you mind if we go?
62 63
Talking Moving
Your lips are chapped. Your tongue You curve. You cleft.
is dry. Do you need water? Your breath You beat and flutter.
is ragged. Are your teeth chattering? You dip
and rise. You tremble.
Waking
Outside? A bird dopplers Insisting
across the roof. A man calls Say “yes.” Say “no.”
out for his wife. A caged dog barks Say “this is for you.”
at passers-by. A car back Say “soon.” Say “if.”
fires.
Looking
Sleeping Here is a stain from yesterday’s
The electric fan drones, loudly breezing. plan. It is already fading
Across, sheets of paper from my sleeping.
billow, flurry, and drift. Moonlight pours Here is another. I woke up beside it.
through the blinds, sterling There:
on the sheets. I trace your pose with a finger. You shift. are ampersands of our hair,
together.
Reading
Turn the page. It’s been so quiet here. Counting
Turn the page. Has it only been a month? There used to be
Turn the page. more. Before this, we had
none.
Talking There used to be
My sentences die and drop more. Things grow heavy in their
to the floor like small brown birds. They fester in the night. absence.
In the morning, only skeletons remain. There used to be less.
The bones are thin
and dirty white. By tomorrow,
they’re dust.
64 65
Holding Knowing
Your hands are rough. When you clutch too hard, There is an itch. There is a numbness.
you leave half-moons in mine. You should trim There are pins
your nails. You scratch me while sleeping. and needles. There is a throbbing.
The lines are white. There is a stain.
Insisting Washing
Come here. Lay your head down. I am washing my hands
Put your feet up. Do this. Do this. of the suds. My fingers are wrinkled and pale.
I am rinsing the cutlery. The plates dry in the rack
Leaving for three years.
My laces are tied. My bags are packed. They are scratched and chipped.
Where are you?
I cannot wait. I am going. Meeting
Hello.
Giving I don’t know you.
This is frailty. Years from now you
This is pride. will have your fill.
This is a small thing, I don’t know you. Hello.
like a feather.
This is a gift. Erasing
This is for you. I press hard on the page.
The lines
Cleaning are too thick. Your face is
I’m bleaching the tiles. all awry. I thin
I’m soaping the sink. out the lines. I brush
I’m scrubbing the corners. the mess away.
Acid in the drains.
The smell is still here.
66 67
Bourgeois #4
Writing ______ lost ______ of her ______ in a freak ______
To –. accident, back in the ______ when she was still mad for
There are days when I forget. There are nights ______, mad for ______. It took ______ of ______ and
when I remember. It is noon here. ______ of ______ before she was able to ______ again.
From –.
She used to be ______ and ______, the epitome of ______
Drawing before the accident: ______ in the mornings, ______ at
This line is the funny bone noon, ______ in the evenings, and ______ til dawn. She’ll
(shocked). This line is the gall bladder never admit it, not out loud at least, but she was a ______
(burst). This line is the Achilles’ tendon for ______, the local ______ of the now-defunct ______,
(torn). This line is the sternum well-______ all these years. They even co-managed ______,
(cracked). This line is the wisdom tooth one of the most ______ of the Late ______ for a few ______,
(impacted). but that proved to be ______. The two of them actually
______ it as the reason for their seperation. “______ was
Moving something else,” ______ admitted once, in a rare moment
You kick off the covers in a fit. You break of ______. “It was ______ and ______. It was fun while it
the glasses and the plates. You make a fist and lasted.”
you weep and moan. You hit me as hard
as you can. I can’t feel it anymore. Nowadays, she spends most of her days in ______, with
______ by her side, ______ as a ______, only a faint
Looking glimmer of what she once was. She has ______ on her
A small bird perches on a branch by the window. ______ from when she used to ______ all the time. Now
Its feathers are brown with shocks of white. they’re just that: ______.
It grooms itself with nervous energy. What is this anxiety?
It flutters off in a flash. La pastie de la bourgeoisie!!!
68 69
Before she rises she lets the stirring cock crow, just tossing Before she rises she lets the stirring cock crow, just tossing
the end of our story’s progress to “five I’ll snooze some more, the end of our story’s progress to “five I’ll snooze some more,
but four I’ll go: which is it, then?”, the simplest, most honest but four I’ll go: which is it, then?”, the simplest, most honest
query, but then destiny decides to introduce complexity query, but then destiny decides to introduce complexity
through the cock crowing three then returns to sleeping: she through the cock crowing three then returns to sleeping: she
frowns, frowns,
exclaims quietly “what?” while just beside her, awake, exclaims quietly “what?” while just beside her, awake,
humbled queerly by sex that lasted all of the sixth of the humbled queerly by sex that lasted all of the sixth of the
hour just passed, I mumble-grumble, gusts of fake breath hour just passed, I mumble-grumble, gusts of fake breath
tossed for emphasis, after which she asks “are you okay?” to tossed for emphasis, after which she asks “are you okay?” to
which I reply “very”, afterwards I zip-lip, which I reply “very”, afterwards I zip-lip,
intent on a personal (read: intent on a personal (read:
“bitter”) monopoly of joy in the dark, which she then notices “bitter”) monopoly of joy in the dark, which she then notices
after a while, so kindly attempts at a blasé conversation after a while, so kindly attempts at a blasé conversation
about, of all topics, politics, that I attempt to zone out of about, of all topics, politics, that I attempt to zone out of
but really her every word is a tune in my head that I quell in but really her every word is a tune in my head that I quell in
vain with hums as I flex and stretch in bed vain with hums as I flex and stretch in bed
and knowing fully how and knowing fully how
this would hurt, I, amidst talking, just nod out and yawn this would hurt, I, amidst talking, just nod out and yawn
and plop on down again on soft warm cushions and so and plop on down again on soft warm cushions and so
mouth stops talking, brows start furrowing, and with cock mouth stops talking, brows start furrowing, and with cock
still snoozing my victim quits and slips out without a “boo”, still snoozing my victim quits and slips out without a “boo”,
and no fixing this and no fixing this
issue, I, jackass, continue to pretend to doze in issue, I, jackass, continue to pretend to doze in
bed, one eye open to this fox by my feet, watch her pick up bed, one eye open to this fox by my feet, watch her pick up
stuff and refit armour and brush hair and teeth, each and stuff and refit armour and brush hair and teeth, each and
every action a feather in air and as she finishes she stands every action a feather in air and as she finishes she stands
upright and shoes in both hands, without shake or wave, upright and shoes in both hands, without shake or wave,
tiptoes out of this book’s chapter, shutting door, spiriting tiptoes out of this book’s chapter, shutting door, spiriting
body out farther than before, as I remain peeping from body out farther than before, as I remain peeping from
behind cushions once warm now turning frigid by the quiet behind cushions once warm now turning frigid by the quiet
morning wind, and right outside, the cock, now awake, just morning wind, and right outside, the cock, now awake, just
for her, crows four. for her, crows four.
70 71
frowns, frowns,
72 73
frowns, frowns,
74 75
frowns, frowns,
76 77
frowns, frowns,
78 79
frowns, frowns,
80 81
frowns, frowns,
82 83
frowns, frowns,
84 85
frowns, frowns,
86 87
frowns, frowns,
88 89
frowns, frowns,
90 91
Kasama Ko
Sa Isang Aircon Bus
Si Marieton Pacheco
Kasama ko sa isang aircon bus si Marieton Pacheco. Papunta “Anung hitsura niya? Magkamukha ba kayo?” Kinakalikot
kami sa Bulacan, dadalaw sa kanyang mga magulang na ni Marieton Pacheco ang balbas ko. “Hindi, hindi kami
nagbayad ng kanyang apat na taon sa unibersidad para magkamukha,” ang sagot ko sa kanya. Matawa-tawa siya sa
makapagtapos ng MassComm. Sabado ng hapon at mataas sagot ko, pagkatapos ay bumalik siya sa pagkalikot ng balbas
na ang araw sa labas ng bintana. ko. “May balbas ba siya?”
Nakaparada kami kung saan dating nakatayo ang People’s Kinalikot ko ang makinis at kalbong baba ni Marieton
Park. Hawak ni Marieton Pacheco ang aking kamay, at Pacheco, at pinag-isipan kung ano pang bahagi ng kanyang
hawak ko naman ang sa kanya. Hawak niya ang kamay ko na katawan ang di tinutubuan ng buhok. Ikinuwento ko sa
parang nakababatang kapatid, at pareho kaming naglalakad kanya kung paano nagkuwento ang tatay ko tungkol sa mga
sa loob ng isang haunted house sa Star City. Pinag-iisipan babae at ang kanilang pagmamahal sa mga balbas-saradong
ko na kilitiin ang kanyang palad nang tanungin niya ako lalake. Napapa-isip kasi sila kung ano pang ibang bahagi ng
tungkol sa tatay ko. katawan ng lalake ang tinutubuan ng buhok. “Pero siyempre,
kuwento lang yun. Ako mismo, di naniniwala dun.”
“Close ba kayong dalawa?” Hinintay niya ang sagot ko nang
nakangiti. Tahimik na nakinig si Marieton Pacheco sa kuwento ko.
Dumungaw siya sa bintana, pataas sa de-lobong Champola
“Hindi naman kami nangingisada kada-Sabado, o kung sa ibabaw ng gusali sa tapat ng lugar kung saan dati’y
ano man. Kilala niya kung sino’ng bagong girlfriend ko, at nakatayo ang People’s Park. Tila naubusan na ito ng lasa,
paminsan-minsan ay tinatawagan niya ako. Pero hanggang dalawang taon na ang nakaraan. Tumango si Marieton
dun lang,” sagot ko sa kanya. Kalahati dun di totoo. Dati’y Pacheco, tila sinasabing “Okey yun, okey yun.” Lumingon
sabay kaming nangingisda ng tatay ko tuwing Sabado, sa siya ulit sa akin, humigpit ang hawak sa kamay ko habang
tabi ng isang lawa sa Novaliches na may baybaying dati- kami’y nagtitigan. “Wala akong problema kung gusto mong
rati’y dinadaan-daanan niya habang nakamotorsiklo nung magpatubo ng balbas, kung ano man ang rason mo. Pero
bata pa siya’t nagrerebelde. Maraming karpa at hito noon sa puwede bang pangakuan mo akong ... di ka magpapatubo
lawa, pero di puwedeng kainin. Inilalagay namin ang mga ng bigote?”
huli namin sa isang timba ng tubig mula sa lawa at pagkagat
ng dilim ay dali-dali naman naming ibinabalik. Nag-umpisa Hinawakan ko ang kanyang mga kamay, tinitigan siya sabay
kami manghuli nung limang taon pa lang ako at tumigil nangako na mananatiling kalbo ang nguso ko habambuhay.
lang kami nang nahirapan na kaming pumunta sa lawa—
kung ano mang mga palusot ang ibinibigay niya. “Di rin naman ako ganun kagaling magpatubo ng bigote e,”
dagdag ko.
92 93
Service With A Simile
“Salamat at hindi mo ako tinanong kung bakit. Salamat Eva Grace Groyon
sa pag-intindi,” ang sabi ni Marieton Pacheco sa akin.
guest relations officer
Hinalikan ko siya’t niyakap at pahabol na sinabing “Kahit
ano, Marieton Pacheco, basta ikaw.” sa isang nightclub
Ngumiti si Marieton Pacheco, sabay yakap sa akin. “Para sa seventy-five pesos, puwede mo akong ma-table at
Nagpaulan ng halik sa ngusong ginawa sana para tubuan ng makasama na kunwari’y magsyota tayo, puwede tayong
bigote, ngayon ay tutubuan ng Pag-Ibig. mag-usap tungkol sa kahit ano, lilipad ang talakayan natin
na tila isang space shuttle na bumubulusok nang pitong
milya kada segundo sa asul at maalinsangang himpapawid
patungo sa dilim at lamig ng kalawakan, ngunit bago pa
nito marating ang rurok ng escape velocity ay mabubutas
ang tangke ng isa sa tatlong rocket payload nito at sa isang
dumadagundong na kulog ay sasabog ang space shuttle at
mag-iiwan ng mala-ulap na tore ng usok kasama ang kauna-
unahan sanang babaeng astronaut sa kasaysayan ng mundo
na ngayon ay abo na lamang na dahan-dahan at tahimik na
hihimlay sa tuktok ng ulo mo.”
94 95
Filipino Words
Found Within
Finnegans Wake
“His atake is...” “... where you smugs to bagot.”
(FW 97.25) (FW 345.15)
trans. “attack” trans. “bored”
“... ever knows as yayas is yayas how it was...” “... of silent power, susu glouglou...”
(FW 101.19) (FW 345.19)
trans. “nannies” trans. “boobs, boobies, breasts, edible snails”
“... for Pearlfal sea, (ur, uri, uria!) stood forth,...” “... his bigotes...”
(FW 102.7) (FW 352.27)
trans. “kind, sort, class” trans. “moustaches”
“... boys of wetford hail him as babu,...” “... an Mansianhase parak...”

(FW 133.28) (FW 491.18)
trans. “goodbye (GayLingo)” trans. “cops, police (Slang, e.g. “fuzz” = “parak”,
“pigs” = “buwaya [trans. “alligator, crocodile”]”)”
“... Tarara boom decay.”
(FW 247.28) “Wordherfhull Ohldhbhoy!”
trans. “words for a local dance craze being promoted by (FW 624.23)
a daily noontime variety gameshow on a local TV station trans. “regional spelling of ‘Boy’, a local nickname for the
where the proper (read “crazier yet remaining in tune and lower-class males, also a source of annoyance for the middle-
rhythm”) dancing and singing performance of said song is class to upper-middle-class Filipinos”
rewarded by money and/or street/baranggay/school fame,
albeit for a limited time only (see Andy Warhol’s Fifteen
Minutes Of Fame), a source of annoyance for the middle-
class to upper-middleclass Filipinos”
96 97
Further Finnegan Find Notes On These Pages
the Jumbled-Up Words Texticles collects the first odd-half-decade’s worth of results
from my still continuing active reading and writing of dagli.
for the Verse of the Numa-Numa Dance
I choose to use the term “dagli” in place of “flash fiction”
as the latter is more often than not defined by word count,
“Minneha, minnehi, minaaehe, minneho!”
while the former, being essentially the basic unit of the prose
(FW 206.15-16)
version of balagtasan, implies the presence of discourse and
a certain amount of orality and verbiage, which are of more
interest and immediacy to me. These dagli are my noisy
rebuttals to the ongoing silent debate on the potentials of
fiction and prose in short form.
Renege Genre
Based on Ernest Hemingway’s six-word story concept,
used here to play around with the various tropes of
typical genre writing. These were written for the cover of
an anthology I edited called Sais, a 96-page collection of
six-word stories rendered to artful life by six artists and
designers. I wasn’t able to get that book published in early
2008 as planned as it’s to be in full-colour and it turned out
I didn’t have enough money for it. Does anyone have 60k
Php to spare?
LOMOPO series
The nine dagli following “Renege Genre” were written
under writing instructions for a 2008 collaborative project
sponsored by a local design studio called Team Manila, who
are also in charge of Lomo Embassy Philippines. A lomo is
a plastic toy camera with Russian Espionage roots, being
originally designed for Russian spies during the Cold War.
It was made to be able to take photos without using any
flash that might give away ongoing espionage work, utilising
only whatever available light in the area, however minimum,
98 99
resulting in a certain aesthetic of high contrast ethereal Roldan for our collective Haruki Murakami blog Elephant
almost-incidental photographs. Lomo made a comeback in Still Missing, now defunct.
the Late Nineties as a hipster accessory, now available in
candy pop colours and multiple-lens variants. Appropriate Gestures
I applied the lomo’s camera obscura process of taking Written for Francis Martinez’ CW100 class back in 2002-
photographs to writing the pieces by formulating words 2003. He called this piece “speculative fiction.” I’ve always
using only the available letters from the actual writing thought this was a natural next step from my Ink Polaroid
instructions given to me by Team Manila. The LOMOPO craze from a year before. I turned this one into a twelve-page
pieces are essentially stories written via anagrams. komix.
Bourgeoisie series Belen’s Last Summer Afternoon Popsicle

These pieces were written in December 2003 as base texts Another one from the CW100 class, written under the
for a hypertext concept I never got around to doing. The instruction that we write an erotic piece instigated by the most
blanks are, of course, meant to be filled in by the reader. The unerotic thing, mine being the trilling tin can music of ice
insistent phrase repeated throughout the pieces, “La pastie cream vendors. Written somewhere midway from my initial
de la bourgeoisie!!!” roughly translates to “The pains (or Luis Katigbak phase to my secondary Richard Brautigan
perils) of the bourgeoisie!!!” in apish French. I got it from phase. I translated this into a more libidinous Filipino for
Belle & Sebastian, which was also a very influential set of an antho of erotica, but the book never materialised.
writers. They got me started back in 2001, especially the
bassist Stuart David, with his Ink Polaroids concept (see Catholicism In Contemporary Philippine Society
Exercise #2 from “Fourteen Exercises”). Yet another one from the CW100 class. The most
Brautigan of my pieces, influenced by repeated readings of
Marieton Pacheco series his short story collection Revenge Of The Lawn (Dell, 196?),
Borne out of close readings of Raymond Carver and a really important book from a very important writer of my
Yasunari Kawabata, whose “palm-of-the-hand stories” were extrauniversity education.
instrumental in my initial understanding of how to make The book is chockfull of happenings written as
dagli work, which is basically just letting things happen, and elevated from the merely literal situation, stories almost as
letting them reach towards meaning, which pretty much metaphorical essays, even beyond that, what I later found
defines poetry, too. Dagli, it seems, is the middleground out to be called ’Pataphor, as invented by Alfred Jarry with
where poetry and prose meet. his seminal piece “The Passion Considered As An Uphill
Quite possibly the oldest pieces here, circa early 2002, Bicycle Race,” which is, in brief, the Crucifixion of Christ
written under a writing exercise formulated with Indira as a bicycle race. The ’Pataphor is what happens when a
Endaya, Luis Katigbak, Baryon Posadas, and Bernice metaphor is extended into the actual reality of the story. A
100 101
more down-to-earth example, written by yours truly, would Ilang Librong Mababasa Sa Libreria ...
turn My thesis statement about scifi and fantasy being
literature driven by Ideas. Also an acknowledgement of their
Love is like a red, red rose (a simile, I know, but bear with transgressive politicised pulpy past. Written using Komikasi.
me here) com’s utterly fun utterly excellent Talecraft cards (Komikasi,
2006), a deck of cards made to help initiate genre writing.
into I’ve been waiting for someone to do something like Talecraft,
very Robert Coover, in a way, especially with his royal
She cut my love off by the stem and on its petals she counted whodunnit? piece from McSweeney’s no. 16 (McSweeney’s,
down “love/unlove” until all that was left was a bald green bud 2005) presented as a deck of cards, the outcome of which
of something-or-the-other casually tossed over her shoulder. would change upon each shuffle. The variations aren’t
limitless, but plenty enough to be of note. An example of
a sustained unblinking metaphor, really, which seems to me what I call Modular Lit, or Lego Lit. More on that in my
to be a novel way of writing interesting dagli that are striving notes for “a cancer.”
towards something more than mere meaning.
Natin99
Mula Sa Probinsya, Habang Nagbabakasyon A convergence of concerns:
An example of Exercises #1 and #14 from “Fourteen 1) The main narrative chunks are made up of
Exercises,” using pieces from a zine I edited for UP student embellishments from half-paragraphs cut out from the 86th
writing org UP UGAT (UP Ugnayan ng Manunulat) called printing of the fifth edition of the Guzman - Laksamana
Bagito #3: Mula Sa Probinsya, Habang Nagbabakasyon - Guzman translation of Jose Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere
(UP UGAT, 2004), where it was first published. I cleaned (National Bookstore, 1947). I vertically cut out randomly-
it up for Milflores Publishing’s Mga Kuwentong Paspasan, chosen half-paragraphs and put them in the middle of an
as edited by Vince Groyon (Milflores Publishing, 2007). empty page and proceeded to write around them, filling in
Heavily influenced by Sherman Alexie’s excellent excellent the blanks, the proverbial “writing outside the box.”
“Captivity,” which was where I got the idea for Exercise #14
2) The italicised vignettes were written using the Talecraft
in the first place. Part of a novel in progress.
cards, written a la Felix Feneon’s Novels In Three Lines (New
York Review Books, 2007), a collection of ephemera written
Pinoy SpecFic sequence
by Feneon for the newspaper Le Matin back in 1906.
... for a lack of a better term for it. Largely written as They were essentially the daily newsbites of good and bad
reaction to a week-long online argument/debate with some happenings in and around France. Over a thousand of these
English-language specfic writers, late 2008, specifically are printed in the book. Another blueprint for effective
about the lack of Pinoy-lingo representation and real world narrative reduction.
politics in their rather productive output.
102 103
I combined the two seperate projects and came up with a dedicated name at the position corresponding to that of the
piece on Fortean millennial fever and late twentieth century line. A reverse acrostic. Essentially an erasure concept.
TV culture. The title is from an Eraserheads song. Late Back then, I thought I was writing poetry, not knowing
2008. it was actually autobiography. Funny how things go. Late
2008.
a cancer
A story I’ve been trying to write since 2004, finally Filipino Words Found Within Finnegans Wake
finished somewhat late 2008, about events that happened My own humble contribution to Joycean scholarship. It’s
in the Early and Late Nineties. Autobiographical, in a way, funny because it’s true.
but more by vicarious than actual living.
The writing is a result of my elaboration on my thoughts ~
on Modular Lit, or Lego Lit, basically a print representation
of hypertext reading and writing, where there is no real And so it goes.
center of the story, no real beginning or end, where one can
start anywhere and end everywhere. A story working off of ADAM DAVID
an accumulation of elements rather than through the more 29 November 2008
regular linear presentation of movements and events. Loosely Project Four, Cubao
based on what might end up as my life-long interest in Chaos
Math, ie, the infinite in the finite, more importantly the
seemingly elementary fractal known as Koch’s Snowflake,
a pattern of increasing complexity growing within a set
limited parameter, yet another blueprint for potentially new
things, like maybe a crime novel ...
Before she rises

Again, the infinite in the finite. A series of erasures
arranged in an ever decreasing wordcount as the narrative
and the relationship diminishes to muteness.
The original base text is a beautiful outlaw, written for
an altogether different project. A beautiful outlaw is a poetic
form where a name of a person or thing is addressed through
a process of deletion. Each line should ideally include all the
letters of the alphabet except for the letter appearing in the
104 105

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ilang piling dagli

the El Bimbo Variations

the Long Weekend

Abecediarya: a pornographic novel

the Industry of Cheese

Service With A Simile - 2 Bourgeois #1 - 17

Sweet Bangungot Sa Lavandera Ko,

Usoserong Makulet Appropriate Gestures - 20

Last Song Syndrome Service With A Simile - 30

Ilang Librong Mababasa Sa Libreria

Service With A Simile - 62

Before she rises - 70

Service With A Simile - 95

Further Finnegan Find - 98

Notes On These Pages - 99

#1: First Line Pick-Up: Choose a set of works from an

#2: Ink Polaroids: Take a photo with a pen: write a descriptive

#3: Time Shuffle: Write about a specific place close to you

He’d say with a ______: “______ was ______ back in those

Inilapag ko ang aking labada at lumuhod sa tabi ni

She fingers the circular bump of the object in her pocket,

“This should be a cinch for you, you’ve dealt with worse

She fingers the circular bump of the object in her pocket,

“Where’d you get this, anyway?” she asks with a frown.

Nakatayo ako sa harap ng iyong apartment, mainit ang

Nakatayo ako sa harap ng iyong apartment, nagbibilang,

Isang oras na lang, luluwas na ang bus. Malayo pa ang

POOTGEE-NUH. KUTILUWAG-GO WY YAYA LU POOKI-MU KEPYASMO

GUOU-PREEK-SUK: EEIOUOU SETU UPOTSUI.

STWEEER, PROOFTU PAT-EENGU SETU, NIMKUKUOUOU.

Wency Espiritu Ang Birheng Agta

Habulan: Patungong Buwan

Minsan May Isang Kuwento…

Salamat sa teknolohiya ng Fingerprint Identification, ang

Sina Jordan at Joseph, kambal, ay natagpuang patay sa kanilang

Isang akyat-bahay ang may nahanap na diyamante sa loob

Pagdating rito ng Mahal na Birhen ng Walang Hanggang

La pastie de la bourgeoisie!!! If I Die On A Combat Zone, Box Me Up And Ship Me Home:

“... boys of wetford hail him as babu,...” “... an Mansianhase parak...”

Bourgeoisie series Belen’s Last Summer Afternoon Popsicle

Before she rises

Anda mungkin juga menyukai

He’d say with a : “ was __ back in those