Anda di halaman 1dari 9

Bible Facts About Divorce.

Fakta2 mengenai perceraian dalam alkitab


There are specific Biblical and spiritual facts that govern marriage, divorce and remarriage. Some
of these facts identified in this book are:
Secara spesifik dalam Alkitab dan fakta rohani mengatur: perkawinan, prceraian dan perkawinan
kembali, yang diindentifikasikan sebagai berikut:

Divorce itself is not wrong or sin unless it is used for selfish pleasure!
Perceraian sendiri tidaklah salah atau dosa jika tidak digunakan untuk kesenangan pribadi
God loves the individuals who make up the marriage more than He loves the marriage

institution!
Tuhan mengasihi individu yang menikah/married lebih dari lembaga perkawinan itu sendiri.
God did not say, "I hate divorce" to ALL divorces; some He calls for, others are needed!
Tuhan tidak katakana Saya benci perceraian kepada SEMUA perceraian; melainkan

sebagian Dia minta dan yang lain diperlukan


The Bible tells that "widows" are women who have been divorced or deserted, as well as

those whose husbands are dead. Widows should be cared for by the Church!
Alkitab katakan, janda adalah para wanita yang diceraikan atau ditinggalkan, berlaku juga

untuk yang suaminya meninggal. Janda-janda harus di perhatikan gereja.


God hates a divorce when His approval is on the marriage . When God disapproves of the

marriage, His approval is on the divorce!


Tuhan benci perceraian ketika dia menyetujui pernikahan, Ketika Tuhan tidak menyetujui

perkawinan, dia juga menyetujui perceraian.


A Biblical remarriage was always God's heart!
Pernikahan kembali dalam Alkitab adalah hati Tuhan
God revokes the right to divorce in certain situations. Meaning, the right to divorce has
Allah mengutuk hak untuk bercerai dalam kondisi tertentu, artinya kebenaran perceraian..

Can Divorced Christians Remarry? Absolutely!


Dapatkah perceraian Kristen Kawin lagi? Tentu!
Can divorced christians remarry? Yes, of course! Forbidding
someone to remarry after they're divorced is bad doctrine.
Marriage after being divorced is our heavenly Father's heart!
(Take notice of a wrong translation of only one single word
(apoluo) that puts a divorced person in bondage.)
Dapatkah org Kristen yang bercerai kawin lagi? Ya, tentu.
Melarang seseorang kawin lagi setelah perceraian adalah doktrin
yang keliru. Perkawinan setelah perceraian adalah hati Bapa
surgawi. (Ambil catatan, terjemahan lama hanya satu kalimat

tunggal apoluo yang meletakkan org yang bercerai dalam satu


ikatan)
9io
Divorce and Remarriage
Now the Spirit [of God] expressly says that in latter times [the days we live in now] some will
DEPART FROM THE FAITH, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking
lies ...FORBIDDING TO MARRY (1Timothy 4:1,3).
Sekarang Roh Tuhan secara nyata berkata bahwa jaman akhir (waktu dimana kita hidup
sekarang) sebagian akan meninggal iman, ..
Forbidding [someone] to marry after they have been divorced is a doctrine of the devil. The
Bible is not saying that these people who hold to this belief are not true Christians, but that they
teach out of ignorance they don't understand God's heart in the Scriptures. Understanding
God's heart only comes from the Holy Spirit revealing Him to us. Whenever we do not understand
God's heart in the Scriptures, we have departed from sound doctrine.
This Scripture could not be talking about forbidding to marry in general. Nobody would listen to
such nonsense preached. The desire that God put in man to have a companion and sexual
partner is too great, especially if they were married before. In order that we dont fall into
...sexual immorality, let EACH MAN have his own wife, and let EACH WOMAN have her own
husband (1Corinthians 7:2). [For] IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN SHOULD BE ALONE
(Genesis 2:18a).
The erroneous doctrine of forbidding one to marry after a divorce has been preached and taught
in many churches. It has violated the conscience and hearts of those whove been divorced,
driving them into a constant state of confusion and negatively impacting their lives. The only way
for these people to come out of that confused state is to leave the church, and many have done
just that. Not only do they leave the church to remarry, they also need to be able to make the right
decision to divorce when its necessary in order to save themselves and their families before all is
destroyed.
Pengajaran yang salah akan membuat sesorang takut untuk melangka ke pernikahan setelah
perceraian dan diajar dan dididik dalam beberapa gereja.
In order to understand that there IS marriage after divorce, we will examine the Scriptures in
Matthew 19:3-12 focusing on the usage of the Greek word, apoluo. The Greek word apoluo thats
translated divorce or to put away is a general word. Its primary usage is: to send (apoluo)
someone home when its getting late.11 When two people are leaving each other there is a
separation. Apoluo is a separation in general, which does not involve the legal aspect of a
permanent separation like a divorce. The common usage is seen in the Scripture When it was

evening, His disciples came to Him, saying This is a deserted place, and the hour is already late.
SEND (apoluo) the multitudes away, that they may go unto the villages and buy themselves
food (Matthew 14:15). The Greek word apoluo doesnt have a legal aspect to it. Its just a
common word that means, Im going to go or, away from, to separate. Because of our wrong
beliefs about divorce, this key word was purposely translated (incorrectly) so it would not conflict
with our beliefs.
When used concerning a marriage it means a separation and NOT a divorce. If a spouse
separates intending never to return, then the next step comes into play; the spouse obtains a
certificate of divorce. This is what the confrontation between Jesus and the Pharisees (the
religious lawyers of His day) was about in Matthew 19:3-12. The legal question was, Do you just
separate, OR do you separate AND give a certificate of divorce? The Greek word used for
divorce in these Scriptures means, to send away or separate from, NOT a finalized legal
divorce.
The lawyers of Gods law tested Jesus. Their motive was to justify when they only separated from
their wives and remarried without ever getting a divorce. They asked Him if God accepts a
separation to get remarried without a divorce certificate for just any reason. Jesus responded that
when a male and female come together in a marriage union, ...they are no longer two BUT
ONE (Matthew 19:6a). Because the couple is still united, He doesnt want man (the marriage
partners) to just separate from each other and get remarried without a divorce. A SEPARATION
ALONE DOES NOT BREAK THE MARRIAGE UNION. IT TAKES A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE,
ALSO. So the question was NOT, Can a spouse DIVORCE their mate for any reason, but Can
a spouse get a SEPARATION from their mate for any reason and then remarry while just
separated.
When a husband just leaves his wife for another woman without ever giving her a certificate of
divorce, this keeps the wife in limbo. She could not go back to her husband because he doesnt
want her; and she couldnt go and become another mans wife as Moses commanded because
she is not legally divorced (See Deuteronomy 24:1-2). If she did remarry without a legal divorce,
she and the man who married her would be committing adultery. This is why Jesus said,
...whoever separates (apoluo) from his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another,
commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is [just] separated (apoluo) commits adultery
(Matthew 19:9 My Translation).
Because the Pharisees hearts were so hard They said to Him [Jesus], WHY then did Moses
COMMAND to give a certificate of divorce AND to put her away [separate]? (Matthew 19:7).
They agreed with the part of the law that said that you could leave your wife, but they didnt
understand that it was not right to keep their wives from getting remarried. A spouse with a
hardened heart will not give the other spouse a divorce. They will want to control the person. A
person who truly loves unconditionally will always give you a way out: an option not to love.
So it is with God; He always gives us the choice to not love Him. As we choose to love Him, its
true love. At times the reason a marriage isnt a truly unconditional loving marriage is because the
partners feel that there is never a way out, if needed. If the marriage partners knew that there was

a godly way to escape from a failing marriage it would give the couple the freedom to choose to
love, even when its not convenient.
Jesus said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, PERMITTED you to divorce
[separate from] your wives, but from the beginning IT [being separated without a divorce] WAS
NOT SO (Matthew 19:8). Notice in verse seven that Moses COMMANDED them to give a
certificate of divorce AND to separate (put away) their wives. But in verse eight, because their
hearts were so hardened against their spouse, Moses PERMITTED them to just separate without
the husband giving the wife a certificate of divorce. The reason Moses commanded that a
certificate of divorce be given was to guarantee that the wife could get remarried. Simply, Moses
commanded to give a certificate of divorce AND to separate. But because of the hardness of their
hearts, Moses permitted them to separate only. The permission to separate and remarry without a
divorce was limited to sexual immorality. If the wife was unfaithful, the husband could leave
without ever being officially divorced by giving her a certificate of divorcement, and go take
another woman as his wife. But if there was no sexual immorality involved, the husband could
NOT separate from his wife without getting a divorce first. If he didnt get a divorce and went to
live with another woman or got remarried, they were committing adultery.
Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed [for selfish reasons]. Are you loosed
[divorced] from a wife? [In my opinion says Paul, the Apostle] do not seek a wife. BUT EVEN IF
YOU DO MARRY, YOU HAVE NOT SINNED; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned
(1Corinthians 7:26-28a). Notice that the virgin AND the person loosed [divorced] are both put
in the same category they have not sinned by getting married. BOTH THE PERSON WHO
WAS NEVER MARRIED AND THE PERSON WHO WAS DIVORCED ARE WITHOUT SIN IF
THEY MARRY.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 tells of a situation where a man married a woman and then divorced her.
This woman then married another man. The Scriptures go on to state that if the second marriage
ends by her husband writing ...her a certificate of divorce ...OR if the latter husband dies
(Deuteronomy 24:3,4), she could not remarry the first man she divorced because she had already
married someone else. Therefore, if our spouse dies, or if we were divorced, we can get married
again. Divorce and death are equal before God. The only stipulation in this Scripture is that if this
is the second marriage, we cannot go back to the first spouse and remarry them because we
married someone else after we divorced them

Mempertimbangkan Perceraian
Sumber Bahan
Judul Buku/Buletin

: Buku Pegangan Pelayanan

Penulis/Narasumber : Billy Graham


Penerbit

: Persekutuan Pembaca Alkitab, 1993

Halaman

: 192 - 194

AYAT ALKITAB
Roma 7:2

1Petrus 3:7 1Korintus 7:3-4

Amsal 18:22 Filipi 2:3-5


LATAR BELAKANG
Perceraian, yaitu pemutusan ikatan nikah secara hukum, merupakan penyimpangan dari maksud
Allah, tidak disokong Alkitab kecuali dalam batas-batas kondisi tertentu. Perceraian adalah akibat
dosa dari salah satu atau kedua belah pihak pasangan suami istri itu. Kerap kali, kedua pihak
sama bersalah. Kesombongan dan pementingan diri sendiri, sering menambah andil pada
keadaan yang mendorong terjadinya perceraian.
Perceraian sering dihasilkan oleh kehendak yang kaku.
"Kata Yesus kepada mereka: 'Karena ketegaran hatimu Musa mengizinkan kamu menceraikan
istrimu, tetapi sejak semula tidaklah demikian.'" (Matius 19:8). Perceraian bukan maksud asli
Allah bagi pernikahan.
Walaupun diputar balik bagaimanapun, Alkitab tidak membenarkan perceraian. Alkitab
menandaskan:
"Sebab itu seorang laki-laki akan meninggalkan ayahnya dan ibunya dan bersatu dengan istrinya,
sehingga keduanya menjadi satu daging." (Kejadian 2:24). Rasul Paulus menulis: "Kepada
orang- orang yang telah kawin aku - tidak, bukan aku, tetapi Tuhan - perintahkan, supaya
seorang suami tidak boleh menceraikan istrinya." (1Korintus 7:10)
"Bukankah Allah yang Esa menjadikan mereka daging dan roh? Dan apakah yang dikendaki
kesatuan itu? Keturunan ilahi! Jadi jagalah dirimu! Dan janganlah orang tidak setia terhadap istri
dari masa mudanya. Sebab Aku membenci perceraian, Firman Tuhan, Allah Israel - juga orang
yang menutupi pakaiannya dengan kekerasan, Firman Tuhan semesta alam. Maka jagalah dirimu
dan janganlah berkhianat!" (Maleakhi 3:15-16)
Perceraian diizinkan, terbatas pada kondisi-kondisi berikut:
1. Bila teman hidup melakukan pelanggaran seks seperti perzinahan atau homoseks, dan
tidak berniat untuk bertobat atau mencari pengampunan Allah, atau meninggalkan
dosanya dan kembali setia kepada istri atau suaminya. (Lihat Matius 19:9).
2. Bila salah satu meninggalkan pasangannya, khususnya bila pasangan yang tidak
beriman meninggalkan pasangannya yang Kristen. (Lihat 1Korintus 7:15)
Jika sebelum menerima Kristus, seseorang telah menikah dan kemudian bercerai, dia harus
tetap dalam keadaannya itu. Jika seseorang sempat menikah ulang, dia harus berupaya agar
perkawinannya yang kedua itu berhasil. Meninggalkan pasangan yang kedua untuk kembali pada
pasangan yang pertama, adalah salah. Dua kesalahan tidak menciptakan kebenaran!

Berpasangan dengan yang bukan Kristen, bukanlah alasan untuk bercerai. Sebaliknya, yang
Kristen dianjurkan untuk hidup berdamai dengan pasangannya yang bukan Kristen, untuk
memenangkannya ke dalam iman pada Kristus (1Korintus 7:12-16).
Perhitungkan resikonya:
1. Senang atau tidak senangkah Allah?
2. Perceraian itu akan menganggu kelangsungan hidup dan membawa pengaruh buruk
pada orang lain (anak-anak, orang tua, sanak keluarga), atau tidak?
3. Sungguhkah ia akan menyelesaikan masalah, atau akan menciptakan masalah-masalah
baru? Perceraian adalah suatu pengalaman emosional buruk yang membekas dalam.
Gunakan segala sumber untuk mencari jalan keluar:
1. Mulailah berusaha dari diri sendiri, mencari jalan keluar dengan penuh kerendahan hati
dan semangat mengampuni. (Lihat Matius 18:21-22)
2. Mintalah dan ikuti secara serius, bimbingan pernikahan Kristen dari pusat bimbingan
Kristen atau dari pendeta.
3. Jika perlu, mulailah dengan mencoba hidup terpisah dalam usaha mencari perbaikan
terutama dalam kasus penyiksaan jasmani dan mental, homoseks, alkohol, kecanduan,
dan sebagainya. Dalam kasus ini pemisahan sementara sangat dianjurkan.
STRATEGI UNTUK MEMBIMBING
1. Tunjukkan sikap kasih dan memperhatikan. Yakinkan dia bahwa Anda senang berbicara
dengannya dan berusaha mencarikan jalan keluar. Anda ingin bertindak sebagai sahabat
yang membagikan wawasan yang Anda miliki.
2. Dengarkan dengan penuh perhatian. Silakan dia menceritakan kasihnya dan
menyalurkan perasaannya, sampai Anda merasa telah mengerti situasinya.
3. Jangan bersikap sebagai hakim. Jangan memihak. Sasaran Anda adalah menyampaikan
sudut pandang Alkitab dan menantangnya untuk mengambil keputusan sendiri dan
menerima akibatnya sepanjang hidup seterusnya. Ingat teladan Tuhan Yesus. Dengan
lembut Dia melayani si perempuan Samaria, walaupun diketahui-Nya bahwa dia telah
bersuami lima orang dan yang terakhir hidup bukan dengan suaminya. Dia menyatakan
diri-Nya sebagai Juruselamat dan menawarkan "air hidup" kepadanya. (Yohanes 4:9-42)
4. Katakan padanya, bahwa bila ingin menerima pertolongan dari Allah, dia harus
menyerahkan dirinya kepada Kristus dengan segala konsekuensinya. Penyerahan diri itu
harus tetap, tidak tergantung pada pemecahan masalahnya. Tanyakan apakah dia
pernah menerima Yesus Kristus sebagai Tuhan dan Juruselamat pribadinya.
5. Sesudah menerima Kristus, dia berhak menantikan pertolongan dari Tuhan. Orang itu
kini akan memiliki dimensi dan sudut pandang hidup yang baru, yang akan sangat
membantunya dalam mencari pemecahan masalah. Dia bisa bergantung pada sumber
pertolongan dan pengertian yang ada dalam Firman Tuhan, yang seharusnya mulai
dibaca dan dipelajarinya. Orang itu pun bisa membawa seluruh permasalahannya
kepada Allah dalam doa. Doa dan penelaahan Alkitab akan menciptakan pengaruh pada

penyesuaian sikap-sikap kepribadiannya dan akan membantu dia mencari penyelesaian


dengan pasangan hidupnya, melalui pertobatan dan pengakuan.
6. Anjurkan dia untuk berupaya mencari segala kemungkinan untuk mendapatkan jalan
keluar yang sesuai dengan Alkitab.
7. Berdoalah dengannya, agar Allah memulihkan kembali hidup dan pernikahannya.

Under what conditions may Christians divorce and remarry? In earlier generations,
this question was very seldom raised, simply because divorce was almost never encountered
among Christians and was unusual even in the general population. Today, however, it has
become a very real problem in evangelical Christian circles. Infidelity is no longer rare, even
among Christian leaders, and one can hear almost weekly of some new pastoral "affair" and its
traumatic effect on his church. With such examples in the leadership, it is bound to be even more
common among the ordinary members, and the resulting decline in the stability of the Christian
home today is surely one of the more alarming signs of the times.
In the past, attempts to deal with this question on a Biblical basis have tended to be somewhat
academic, probably because the very idea of divorce was so alien to the expositor's own
experiences. Nowadays, however, since the tragedy of divorce has spread so widely that almost
every Christian has encountered it not only in his church but also among his close friends and
relatives, it is vitally important that we seek to deal with it both Biblically and sympathetically.
First of all, the divine standard for marriage is lifelong commitment to one's spouse, and
nothing else. Even though divorce was permitted in some cases under the Old Testament
economy, Christ made it plain that this was not God's ideal. When He was asked this very
question, "He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the
beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and
mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more
twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew
19:4-6).
This seems very comprehensive and conclusive, yet He immediately followed up this statement
with the following apparent exception: "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for
fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:9; see also Matthew 5:31, 32).
It does seem from this statement that the discovery of extramarital unchastity on the part of one'
spouse is here given as a possible grounds for divorce. God does place a high value on
faithfulness, on the part of both bride and bridegroom, as a basis for a happy and lasting
marriage. Fornication is condemned as a sin in both Old and New Testaments.
In this day of widespread sexual license, however, this provision might well become a rather
common ground for divorce, even among Christians. It does, indeed, dilute the principle of "one

flesh" used by God to describe a true marriage. "What? Know ye not that he which is joined to an
harlot is one body? For two, saith He, shall be one flesh . . . Flee fornication. Every sin that a man
doeth is without the body: but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (I
Corinthians 6:16, 18). This passage, incidentally, suggests that a woman who submits to
extramarital sex becomes, in God's sight, a harlot, whether she yields her body for money or
some other reason that she sees as profitable to herself.
On the other hand, it is noteworthy that Jesus, evidently on a different occasion, did not give
fornication as an excuse for divorce. "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another,
committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth
adultery" (Luke 16:18). If there is any doubt, this also applies to wives. "And if a woman shall put
away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10:12).
Since the lord would not contradict Himself, we should conclude that, while there may be some
situations in which extramarital sex would create such problems in a marriage that divorce would
be better than continuing in an unhealthy or even dangerous relationship, in general it would be
better to forgive earlier indiscretions (if accompanied by repentance and present faithfulness)
rather than to break up what might otherwise still be a good marriage.
In both cases, however, Christ warned that remarriage after divorce amounts to adultery, a sin
which is explicitly forbidden by God's seventh Commandment. Both divorce and remarriage,
therefore, are extremely serious steps, and both violate the divine principle of permanent union
and faithfulness in marriage.
But this is not the whole story. "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in
mercy . . . For He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust" (Psalm 103:8, 14). "If
we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" (I John 1:9). This promise is
specifically for Christians, and includes even the sin of adultery, if there is genuine repentance.
The Lord made this very clear in His dealing with the woman who "was taken in adultery, in the
very act" (John 8:4). He reminded her accusers that they also were sinners and had no warrant to
punish her. Then He told the woman: "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John
8:11).
He in no way condoned her sin, but He did forgive her sin, when she gave evidence of godly
sorrow and determination not to sin again in this way. Under such conditions, His followers would
do well to follow His example. At least in this particular context, He put no further conditions on
her freedom, either to return to her husband if he would have her, or to marry another if she were
already divorced.
There is one other important Biblical factor to consider in divorce-and-remarriage situations. A
Christian should never marry a non-Christian, as this almost inevitably leads to serious friction in
the home later on unless the unsaved partner can, by God's grace, be won to Christ. "Be ye not
unequally yoked together with unbelievers" (II Corinthians 6:14).

Nevertheless, many Christians insist on doing this very thing. And then what? Also, a person may
become a believer after marriage, with the partner still unsaved. In either case, there is an
unequal yoke, and the Christian husband or wife may come to desire release from this yoke. The
Apostle Paul commands in this case: "If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be
pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that
believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him." (I Corinthians 7:12,
13). The next verse indicates this is especially important for the sake of the children, who are
often the ones hurt most by a divorce.
But suppose the unsaved spouse is the one who insists on a divorce. "If the unbelieving depart,
let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to
peace" (I Corinthians 7:15).
This obviously means that the Christian husband or wife is then at liberty to remarry. In fact, if
there are children involved, and if a caring Christian spouse can be found, it would be good to
remarry, for children need the love and guidance of both a father and mother, provided, of course,
that the stepmother or stepfather is "in the Lord" (I Corinthians 7:39) and desires to assume such
a responsibility.
By extension, these principles could be applied to other situations that the Scriptures do not cover
explicitly. As noted above, God is able and willing to forgive all sins, including even the sin of
getting a divorce for trivial reasons. He has called us to peace, not legal bondage, and He can
make a good marriage and a happy home no matter what the previous history of the people
involved may have been, provided that true repentance, proper restitution, and genuine saving
faith and sincere desire to serve the Lord now exist in their lives.
These are all second-best choices, however. For young people who have not yet gotten involved
in such mistakes, it is far better -- for now and forever -- to seek God's best, the ideal marriage He
planned from the beginning. Such a marriage is a foretaste of heaven, for it is a picture of the
heavenly bridegroom and His chaste Bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).