Wisdom
for
MODERN MINDS
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
Ancient
Wisdom
for
MODERN MINDS
9(5'$17
+286(
M a l e n y A m s t e rd a m P a l o A l t o
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
ISBN 978-0-9775742-1-6
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication:
Carlopio, James R.
Ancient wisdom for modern minds : a thinking heart and a
feeling mind - words of insight into our selves.
Bibliography.
Includes index.
ISBN 9780977574216.
ISBN 0 9775742 1 0.
1. Personal coaching. 2. Executive coaching.
3. Self-perception. 4. Self-actualization (Psychology).
5. Emotion. 6. Life skills. I.Title.
158.1
2007, James Carlopio; exclusive licence to eContent Management P/L.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced
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Developmental editing: James Davidson
Subject index: James Carlopio and Tom Crvenkovic
Cover design: Jenni Kemp
Cover concept: Catherine O'Connell
Page design and Desk top publishing: Kim Webber
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A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
Foreword
hen asked to review Ancient Wisdom for
Modern Minds, I wasnt sure at first how I
could help. At first it appeared to be a series of what
Id term quotes, blurbs, and affirmations. This didnt
make any sense, particularly because I understood
the author to be a well-regarded academic from one
of Australias top business schools. I then had a
flashback to the MA in business research work I did
almost ten years ago at MGSM, and the words
hermeneutics and deconstruction popped-out! As
a consequence, I understood what the author has
set-out to achieve in presenting the wisdom of the
ancients in a conversational coaching context for
executives, HR managers, employees and reflective
readers undergoing workplace and personal change.
Readers familiar with Positive Psychology may
regard the book as a qualitative data set for a metaanalysis, in an historical context, of four recurring
themes, namely: (a) awareness of self and others;
(b) life, death, health and happiness; (c) wisdom,
communication and learning; and (d) achievement,
goals and effort. The burgeoning Executive and Life
F o re w o rd
F o re w o rd
Contents
Foreword ............................................... v
References ............................................ viii
Preface ................................................... ix
Part 1
Awareness of self and others ................... 1
Part 2
Life and death, health and happiness ...... 35
Part 3
Wisdom, communication and learning .... 69
Part 4
Achievement, goals and effort ............... 91
Epilogue ............................................. 111
Index ................................................... 115
vii
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
References
Bernstein, E. (2006) Therapy that keeps on the sunny
side of life; rising number of therapists focus on
the positive instead of bad parents, other demons.
The Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition):
September 26, D1.
Birkinshaw, J. and Gibson, C. (2004) Building
ambidexterity into an organization. MIT Sloan
Management Review, 45(4): 47-55.
Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R. and McKee, A. (2001) Primal
leadership:The hidden driver of great performance.
Harvard Business Review, 79(11): 42-51.
Latham, G. (2004) The motivational benefits of goalsetting. Academy of Management Executive, 18(4):
126-129.
Lawson,W. (2004) The glee club. Psychology Today, 37
(1): 34.
Locke, E. (2004) Linking goals to monetary incentives.
Academy of Management Executive, 18(4): 130-133.
Roach, D. ,Troboy, L. and Cochran, L. (2006) The effects
of humor and goal setting on individual brainstorming
performance. Academy of Business, 10(1): 31-36.
Sosik, J. and Megerian, L. (1999) Understanding leader
emotional intelligence and performance. Group &
Organization Management, 24(3): 367-390.
Turner, D. and Crawford, M. (1998) Change Power.
B&P Publishing,Warriewood, NSW.
viii
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
Preface
A feeling heart is good; A thinking heart is wise.
illions of people use individual words every
second of the day, while giving their
meaning very little serious thought. Yet collectively, these individual words seem to work for us as
we carry out our daily routines.
As individuals, some words are uniquely informative. If we reflect on them, they can provide us with
insights into ourselves and into the human condition.
The individual words in this book are compiled
into phrases thoughts, reflections and experiences
voiced by ancient sages as coaching conversations.
Their wisdom provides us with insights which help
us through the emotions of change.
So, please come along with me on a journey
experiencing the words in this book. We shall
reflect on the wisdom of these ancient coaches to
discover what we can learn from them about our
selves and our lives.
James Carlopio, PhD
Byron Bay October 2006
ix
9(5'$17
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Awareness of self
and others
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
To love is to expire.
Cleopatra, Egyptian queen (69 BC 30 BC)
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
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A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
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10
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
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A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
13
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15
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A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
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A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
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25
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A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
27
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28
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
30
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
31
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32
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world.
Through this I know the advantage
of taking no action.
Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC 531 BC)
The Way of Lao-Tzu
35
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
36
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
39
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
40
Everything flows.
Heraclitus, Greek philosopher (535 BC 475 BC)
41
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
42
43
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
44
45
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
46
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
Revenge, born of anger and the need for retribution, hurts the vengeful. Revenge does not
right the wrong that has been done and never
helps the vengeful feel better in the long run. If a
wrong is acknowledged it is easier to heal it.
Confronting someone who has done you wrong,
expressing your feelings and letting them know
the consequences of their wrong-doing is not
revenge, it is wisdom. It helps you to recognise
and express your emotions, to gain closure and to
begin the healing process. Forgiveness is the goal.
I have a right to my emotions. I have a right to
be treated fairly and with respect. I also have a
duty to treat others fairly and with respect.
48
49
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
50
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
52
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
55
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
Exercise is essential to mental and physical wellbeing. Studies consistently illustrate that exercise
can help protect us from heart disease and stroke,
some forms of cancer, high blood pressure,
diabetes, obesity, back pain, osteoporosis, and
more. It can also help reduce depression and
anxiety, improve psychological well-being and
help us to better manage stress. If you exercise
your mind, it stays flexible and capable. If you
exercise your body, it stays flexible and capable.
There is no substitute and there is no excuse
justifiable for not exercising. We must do what
ever form of exercise we can do.
I regularly exercise my mind and my body. I am
physically and mentally flexible and capable.
56
57
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
58
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
Our lives are full of ironic and paradoxical situations. We can let them anger and frustrate us. We
can let them depress us and we can become jaded
and cynical. Alternatively, we can learn to live
with them. We can accept them as the jokes of
the Gods and laugh along with them.The choice
is ours.
I choose to see light and humour in my life.
60
61
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
62
63
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
64
65
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
66
67
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
68
Wisdom,
communication
and learning
69
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
wisdom, communication
and learning
isdom allows us to see the truth and to
make good choices.With wisdom we gain
insights into how life works, what life means and
how we should conduct ourselves while we live.
Wisdom helps us achieve, grow and develop both
personally and collectively as families, communities, organisations and societies. Communication
is key for successful relationships and collaboration. We cannot relate, nor fulfil many of our
social and psychological needs without it.
Information and learning are the life-blood of
change. We must be able to learn and to adapt in
order to survive and to flourish. Communication
is necessary to help us resolve conflict, to solve
problems, to achieve goals and to implement
strategy. All of these are necessary components of
a happy, full and productive life. The quotes and
reflections in this section are focused on topics
such as listening, silence, sharing, learning,
knowledge and wisdom, flexibility, patience,
mistakes, diversity and change.
70
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
71
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
72
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
77
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
Wisdom is supreme.
King Solomon, Hebrew monarch (~1000 BC)
78
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
79
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
81
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
In our modern world we are continually bombarded by noise and by inane chatter. Many
people just talk to fill in the silence or to cover
over their insecurity. Often it is better to listen
more and to think more, and to speak less. As we
grow more confident and aware of our Selves, we
can become more comfortable with silence. The
more comfortable we become with silence, the
more opportunities we have to grow our confidence and our awareness.
I am comfortable with silence. I am comfortable
with my Self.
82
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
84
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
85
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
87
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
88
W i s d o m , c o m m u n i c at i o n a n d l e a rn i n g
89
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
90
Achievement,
goals and effort
91
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
Achievement, goals
and effort
oal-setting is one of the most widely supported
and well-accepted performance-improving
mechanisms we know of today (Latham, 2004;
Locke, 2004; Roach, Troboy and Cochran, 2006).
Goal-setting has been shown to be effective in helping improve motivation and performance in areas
ranging from brainstorming to organisational profit,
from loosing weight to getting a job or a mate. Our
beliefs and attitudes impact our behaviour and influence our lives and our worlds in many ways. What
we repeat in our minds to ourselves, hour after hour,
day after day, week after week, profoundly impacts
how successful and happy we are. What we think
forms the boundaries of what we consider to be
possible and impossible.The plans, goals and expectations we set for ourselves and our organisations
affect what we are capable of seeing and achieving.
The quotes and reflections in this section are focused
on topics such as behaviour, performance, adventure
and risk, commitment, accomplishment, planning,
focus, patience, effort and persistence.
92
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
93
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
94
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
96
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
100
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
101
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
103
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
105
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
106
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
107
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
108
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
110
A w a re n e s s o f s e l f a n d o t h e r s
Epilogue
n unpredictable and highly contested environments, individual and organisational success
requires the ability to handle stress and emotions, to
adjust to change more quickly and effectively than
your competitors and continually to grow and
develop your people and critical organisational
resources and capabilities while at the same time,
running your short-term business as usual (Turner
and Crawford, 1998; Birkinshaw and Gibson, 2004).
In order to do this, people need to be able to be in
the present with clarity and power, they must
envision and buy-into a potential future, and they
must also deal with the past, emotions and the
grieving process some people must go through
before they can let go and move on.
Change is an emotional process. People fear
the unknown, being wrong, unaccepted, ridiculed,
embarrassed and, therefore, frequently resist
change out of fear. Many people have also become
understandably cynical about change. We have
seen management tools and techniques come and
go by the dozen (for example,TQM, BPR, downsizing, out-sourcing, CRM) and have come to
think, This too shall pass.
111
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
Epilogue
A n c i e n t W i s d o m f o r t h e m o d e rn m i n d
A c h i e v e m e n t , g o a l s a n d e f f o rt
Index
action
34,37,38,46,87,94,101
achieve; achievement
v,10,31,58,70,92,96,97,
99,100,101,106
adventure 92,94
advice vi,29,85
affluence 41
afraid (also see fear)
62,107
aggressive 83
anger 36,42,48,60
aware; awareness of self
and others v,2,911,13,
16,21,2426,28,30,34,
43,45,47,64,65,68,76,
82,83,86,101,107,109,
113
communicate;
communication
v,15,59,70,72
conscious, consciousness
2,5,9,11,14,17,21,
2426,28,30,34,47,49,
53, 65,83
create; creativity
x,7,40,49,61,100,109,
110
cure 65,77,99,114
balance
28,29,36,38,43,66,78,
102
beauty 31,66,71
believe
4,21,24,31,32,64,87
body 22,5457,65,88
child; children
13,51,58,90,
choice, choose
2,4,7,21,24,26,29,30,
37,47,60,64,72,99
comfort, comfortable
8,82,89,113,114
death v,36,63,89
defend 114
difference, different
14,18,19,47,74,76,104,
107
discuss 51,59,77,112,113
115
familiar 8
fear (also see afraid)
11,19,63,111,112
feel; feelings
ix,2,4,7,14,17,26,27,
36-38,42,47,48,52,53,
59,71,78,84,85,88,104,
112,114
food 25,55,61,64,74
forgive; forgiveness
36,38,40,48,68
friend(s), friendship
1113, 33,63,73,80
fun 58,94,114
give; giving
2,3,5,20,26,29,43,72,
73,85,99,101,109,
112
goal(s)
v,viii,23,43,44,48,70,
92,96,97,100,101,102,
106,110,113
happiness, happy (also see
unhappy)
2,6,21,34,36,38,39,63,
64,70,92
habit(s) 30,73,105
heal; healing
38,39,48,55,65,68,77
health(y)
4,6,20,21,36,38,50,55,
57,66,110,112
Index
heart
ix,17,20,30,50,54,56,
58,64,78,84,104
hope 6,110
humor viii,59
music; musicians 61
impossible 44,92,99,100
influence 26,46,92
ill, illness 57
intimate 108
pain 26,56,65,77,105,114
passion 33,36,45
perspective
14,24,59,76,78,79,86
persuade 75
poet; poets; poetry 45,61
possible; possibility
29,47,66,88,92,93,106
problem(s); problem
solving
21,26,28,59,65,68,70,
77,83,85,98,113,114
projection 53
joke 59,60
joy 14,61,78,89
judgement 84
knowledge
44,45,70,71,83,114
learn; learning
v,x,2,10,11,13,19,23,33,
37,51,53,57,58,60,65,70,
71,73,74,76,80,96,102
lie; lies 36,54
listen; listening
57,70,72,76,82,85,114
logic 38,75,84
love 2,57,12,13,15,18,31,
32, 40,46,57,61,64,86,
108,109
material possessions;
materialistic 64,89
marriage 7,12
medicine 55,56
mind; mindfull
14,16,25,28,34,39,42,
54,56,57,59,61,62,65,
71,73,76,7881,84,85,
92,93,95,104
neighbour 15,52
objective 24
reason 38,65,84,90
recreate, recreation
58,63,65
relationships
2,7,12,70,72,108,109
revenge 37,48
risk 92,94
secure 4,13
self; self acceptance,
awareness, choice,
expressions, love
v,ix,2,3,6,10,12,16,21,
22,24,25,2830,32,37,
40,45,46,40,49,51,54,
64,67,68,71,73,82,86,
87,94,96,104,106
silence 64,70,82
songs 61
116
spirit; spiritual
2,8,10,17,22,38,45,54,
61,65,78,80
stability 8,51
success(full)
2,7,10,70,72,80,92,97,
102,111,112,114
submit
thankful 9,89
think; thinking
ix,2,4,6,9,11,17,24,27,
30,32,3639,42,45,57,
71,75,78,79,81,82,84,
86,88,92,99,104,105,
109,111
thought; thoughts
ix,x,2,4,9,21,26,30,33,
38,47,55,57,74,76,77,
81,85,86,88,99,100,109
truth
24,31,42,54,59,67,70,
75,87
unconscious 30,49,53,83
wine 14
wisdom; wise
ix,14,30,53,57,78,84,
86,89
work
11,16,18,25,38,51,58,
63,72,74,102,103,104,
106,109,112,114
work-life balance
38,51,63
workplace v
words ix,x,14,21,31,39
Yin-yang 95
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Cindy Patuszynski, ForeWord Magazine
Connecting your work to spiritual values ensures that work will also bring meaning and depth into your
life. Coaches often have to assist clients to find that balance, and many clients have jobs that on the
surface contribute to a dispirited life. SoulWork assists clients to seek out life-enhancing work and to
create such a workplace within their current employment.
Rey Carr, Peer Resources Best Coaching Books
What programs address career development in an holistic way, including issues of
meaning and purpose, spirituality, and work within a life?
The value of this book is its practical focus on matching work life to your whole life reassessing your
career and connecting it to the spiritual values that bring your life depth and meaning.
Written for career planners, executive coaches, life change counsellors, human resources/services managers and all those interested in employee development, workplace values, life-career assessment and personal
transformation, this book helps to connect your career to the spiritual values that give your life meaning.
SoulWork: Finding the Work you Love, Loving the Work you Have relates your career to spiritual themes, and aims
to provide advice and supporting people working through their career choices. Updated from 1998, the revised
edition places career choices in the context of holistic personal/spiritual development and internal change.
A spiritual approach to integrating work/career with all life issues.
This book examines the concept of careers within the context of seven themes, including chapters on;
Change; Balance; Energy; Community; Calling; Harmony; Unity; Exercises. Each starts with a story and then
offers career issues, reflections on various aspects of the chapter theme and a set of applications that
includes self-administered questionnaires and exercises.The authors take a systematic approach, use clear
language and examples that many people will be able to relate to.
Attending to how individuals can balance many aspects of their lives including career issues is an
important counseling issue. Harmony which comes from finding satisfying work can help individuals
develop a strong sense of appreciation and understanding of their world and their lives. Richard S. Sharf
This is a great self help book..a very powerful book..There are great summaries at the end of
every chapter, as well as exercises to do that pertain to that chapter. Gina Hinds (Marina CA, USA)
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Send further information on these related titles from eContent Management P/L
SoulWork ISBN 978-0-9775742-3-0
Career as a Journey of Spirit
ISBN 978-0-9775742-5-4