Journal: Bibliotheca Sacra

Volume: BSAC 135:539 (Jul 1978)

Article: Cultural Aspects of Marriage in the Ancient World
Author: Edwin M. Yamauchi

Cultural Aspects of Marriage in the Ancient World / - Edwin M. Yamauchi

[Edwin M. Yamauchi, Professor of History, Miami University, Oxford, Ohio.]
One of the most important and difficult tasks in the interpretation of the Scriptures in general and of the
passages that deal with women and marriage in particular, is the need to discern which elements are cultural,
temporary, and variable, and which ones are transcultural, timeless, and universal.1
This comparative study focuses on the historical and cultural aspects of betrothal and marriage in the ancient
societies which were contemporary with biblical writers, and on the biblical perspective on women and
marriage.

Preparations for Marriage

The Age and Consent of the Spouses
In ancient Mesopotamia marriages were arranged by parents. The Code of Eshnunna (no. 27, ca. 1900 B.C.)
invalidates a marriage which lacked the permission of the brides parents. Old Babylonian texts indicate that
the consent of the bride was not necessary.
In Egypt girls were married between the ages of twelve and fourteen, and young men between fourteen and
twenty. Judging from the many Egyptian love songs, romantic love played an important role in the choice of
life-mates. Legally, however, the brides father was the one who drew up the contract with the groom.
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 242
In Greece girls were married as early as twelve, but more usually between fourteen and twenty. Men hardly
ever married before their service as military ephebes from eighteen to twenty, and usually wed when they
were closer to thirty. A woman was always subject to a male or legal guardian. She was therefore the
object of marriage negotiations and her consent was not required. Marriage was viewed as the means for the
continuation of families; it was not usually the result of romance. Aristotle spoke of the growth of
(friendship) rather than (passionate love) between husband and wife.
In Rome by the time of Augustus the legal minimum age for marriage for girls was set at twelve, and for
boys at fourteen. A study of 145 inscriptions revealed that more than half of the wives, who were mainly
from the upper middle class, were married by age fifteen.2 Since dowries were expected, wealthy girls were
married earlier than poorer girls. As a girl who was not yet married at nineteen was considered an old
maid, anxious parents would often increase the dowries and publicize this fact to attract suitors. Grooms
were generally men in their twenties, with an average age of twenty-five.
In the early history of Rome fathers exercised an absolute authority over their children, and females were
always under a mans potestas or tutelage. Fathers sometimes married off their daughters without consulting
their wives. In the Late Republic, however, women became more and more liberated.
In the Old Testament no minimum age is stated as desirable for marriage. A was a nubile, adolescent
girl of marriageable age.3 Marriage was arranged by the parents; a mother could play a role (Gen 21:21;
27:46), but a father could act alone (38:6). Though it was not essential, the brides consent was at times

asked for (Gen 24:5, 58). Romance was involved in some of the matches (Gen 29:20; Judg 14:13; 1 Sam
18:20; cf. Song of Sol). In the apocryphal Tobit (6:17) Tobias fell in love with Sarah and yearned deeply for
her.
In the Jewish Talmud marriage was recommended for girls at the age of puberty, which would be at twelve
or twelve and one-half (Yeb. 62b). Males were advised to marry between fourteen
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 243
and eighteen. In Talmudic law a girl before the age of twelve and one-half could not refuse a marriage
decided on by her father. After that age her assent was essential (Kidd. 2b).4 Sepulchral inscriptions of
Jewish families buried in the catacombs at Rome give the actual ages of brides in six cases; two married at
twelve, two at fifteen, one between fifteen and sixteen, and one between sixteen and seventeen.5
The New Testament includes no explicit reference to minimum ages for marriage. A possible interpretation
of 1 Corinthians 7:36 is that this passage concerns a father who is anxious about his daughter who is
, i.e., past the flower of her age (AV), too old for marriage (Jerusalem Bible), or getting
along in years (NIV).
Early Christians followed the Roman precedent in accepting twelve as the minimum legal age for girls and
fourteen for boys. The study by Hopkins of 180 Christian inscriptions revealed that the modal age of
Christian brides was from fifteen to eighteen as compared with the modal age of pagan brides which was
from twelve to fifteen. Christian parents selected the groom, though the daughter had the right to refuse the
groom or even to refuse to marry. According to canon law no marriage is valid without the consent of both
partners.

Betrothal and Gifts

In Mesopotamia the betrothal was effected by the presentation of appropriate gifts. The violation of a
betrothed maiden was considered a capital offense as she was legally considered a wife (Hammurabi
Code, no. 130). The betrothal was sealed by the transfer of the terhatu (bride price) from the groom to the
father of the bride. In the Old Babylonian period this averaged ten shekels. A shekel was a months wage.
The sheriqtu (dowry) was given by the father of the bride to his daughter. From the Old Babylonian period
the dowry was commonly larger than the bride price. In the case of a divorce the wife could take her dowry
with her if she were blameless.
No evidence of betrothals or of a bride price as such exists in Egypt. A gift made by the husband to the
wife, first attested in the twentieth dynasty, may be a rudiment of an original sum given to
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 244
the father of the bride. After the Twenty-sixth Dynasty it became a nominal sum, and in the Ptolemaic period
a mere formality. In deeds dating from 517 B.C. to the Ptolemaic period certain money to become a wife
was given by the bride to her husband. The dowry remained the wifes property and was retained by her in
case of a divorce.6
In the early Greek period a necessary preliminary to marriage was the or betrothal.7 The father
of the bride promised his daughter to the groom before witnesses; the girls presence was not required. In
Hellenistic times the disappeared. The dowry ( or ) consisted of money, and goods
given to the bride by her family which was to remain hers. Plato wished to abolish dowries in order to
prevent insolence on the part of wives (Laws 6.742c).
Roman marriages were usually but not necessarily preceded by a betrothal or sponsalia, which could involve
children as young as seven years of age. In the presence of witnesses the male sponsus placed an iron ring
on the fourth finger of his sponsa and kissed her. Aulus Gellius explained that the ring was placed on this

finger as it was in direct communication with the heart. The dos (dowry) was a very important factor in
most marriages. The size of it would be fixed after hard bargaining between the families. Unless the wife
stipulated the return of the dowry, the husband legally acquired full ownership of the dowry.8
Betrothal in the Old Testament created a legally binding relationship. Even before the marriage Jacob called
Rachel ( my wife) (Gen 29:21; cf. Deut 22:2324; 2 Sam 3:14). The ( bride price) represented
compensation rather than actual purchase.9 In its three occurrences this Hebrew word is mistranslated by the
Authorized Version as dowry. In Genesis 34:12 Shechem is willing to pay any for Dinah. In Exodus
22:1617 one who has seduced an unbetrothed virgin has to pay her . In 1 Samuel 18:25 Saul demands a
of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines for his daughter. Instead of silver or goods an act of valor or of
service was at times performed to win a bride (Gen 29;
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 245
Josh 15:1617; 1 Samuel 17:25). The ( literally, parting gifts) are mentioned but twice in the Old
Testament, in Micah 1:14 and in 1 Kings 9:16. In the latter passage the pharaoh presented the city of Gezer
to Solomon as his daughters dowry.
In the Rabbinical period the bride price became purely nominal. Hillel maintained that anything worth a
peruta (the smallest copper coin) was sufficient. In this period ordinarily a year intervened between the
betrothal or qiddushin (literally, consecration) and the nuptials. Rab Judah held that a man should not
betroth a woman until he had seen her (Kidd 41a). Once made the betrothal was legally binding and could
not be broken except by death or by divorce (Yeb 2.6; Gitt 6.2).
The serious legal implications of betrothal are evidenced in the fact that when Joseph discovered before his
wedding that Mary was pregnant, he could have publicly denounced her as an adulteress but was disposed to
divorce her privately (Matt 1:19).
The early Christians followed the Roman sponsalia. The settlement recording the transmission of the dowry
was read before ten witnesses. Such a betrothal agreement could not be broken without discredit. The
espoused parties were kept carefully apart until the wedding.

The Celebration of the Marriage

Contracts
The Hammurabi Code (no. 128) rules that a woman is not a wife without a riksatu (contract). This is
usually taken as a written document, though Greengus has argued that the agreement may have been oral.10
Some Nuzi contracts obliged the wife who was barren to provide her husband with a handmaid to bear
children (cf. Gen 16).
Although Egyptian contracts begin with the phrase, I have made you my wife, most of these documents
are primarily proprietary in character, dealing with the disposition of property. Many of them were drawn up
after the couples already had children.
Greek marriage contracts dating at the earliest from the late fourth century B.C. have been preserved on
papyri from Egypt. One document reads, Dionysios will feed and clothe Isidora; he will not maltreat her,
nor outrage her, nor repudiate her, nor introduce any other woman (into the house). His wife was not to
leave the
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 246
house either by day or night without his consent, or else she would lose her dowry.11

In Rome no ceremonies of a legal character were required to form a valid marriage. All that was necessary
was the intention to form a lasting union. In the early part of the Roman Empire, contracts listing the dowry,
called tabulae nuptiales, were inscribed as a record of the marriages.
Exodus 21:10 notes the husbands obligation to provide his wife with her food, her clothing, and her
conjugal rights. There is no reference to a marriage contract in the Old Testament. But the apocryphal Tobit
(7:14) includes a reference to the inscribing of such a contract.
In the second century A.D. Rabbi Meir made the provision of a ( writ) by the husband obligatory
(Ket 5.1). The Jewish husband was held responsible for his wifes medical treatment, for the support of her
daughters until they were married, for the provision of an inheritance for her sons, and for giving her a
respectable funeral (Ket 4.11-12).
Three complete marriage and four fragmentary contracts in Aramaic from the fifth century B.C. have been
found at the Jewish garrison at Elephantine in Egypt. One of these (Kraeling 2) records the formula, She is
my wife and I am her husband from this day for ever. Aramaic and Greek contracts from the second
century A.D. have been found at Murabaat and Nahal Hever on the western shore of the Dead Sea. A
Murabaat papyrus (Benoit 20) reads, You have become my wife according to the Law of Mo[ses].

Ceremonies
In Mesopotamia, marriage was a civil affair which required no religious sanctions. The wedding was
celebrated in Sumer and Assyria by the act of anointing. During the wedding the brides face was covered.
The Middle Assyrian Laws (no. 40) prescribed severe penalties for wives who went out on the streets
unveiled, and conversely for harlots who presumed to veil themselves.
No evidence exists that any religious ceremonies were involved in Egyptian weddings. The father of the
bride conducted her, accompanied
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 247
with rich gifts, to the grooms home where a great feast was held.
In Greece prior to the wedding the bride offered up her toys, dedicated a lock of her hair, and was purified
with a nuptial bath. For the wedding the bride wore a veil, and the groom was dressed in bright garments.
After a feast at her fathers house she was borne on a wagon and accompanied by the groom and guests in a
merry torch-lit procession to her new home. As she entered it, nuts and dry figs were thrown at her as tokens
of fecundity. Outside the bridal chamber friends sang nuptial songs to the god of marriage.
Among the Romans the most auspicious seasons for weddings were April and the second half of June.
Before the wedding the bride would surrender her toys and her childhood dress to the household gods. On
the morning of the wedding a priest would sacrifice a pig. The bride would be dressed in a white tunic of
flannel or muslin. She wore a veil of bright orange which left her face exposed. The bride placed her right
hand in the right hand of the groom and said something like, Where you are Gaius, I will be Gaia. The
wedding feast was paid for by the groom.
The ceremonies were completed by the formal transfer of the bride to her new home. The groom went ahead
and scattered walnuts about him to the children. He would carry the bride over the threshold to prevent her
from stumbling, which would have been an unlucky omen.
In the Old Testament the groom was attired with a wreath or matrimonial crown (Isa 61:10; Song of Sol.
3:11). The bride was beautifully dressed, adorned with jewels, and veiled (Ps 45:1314; Isa 61:10; Jer 2:32).
The wedding feast might last a day (Gen 29:22), a week (Judg 14:12), or according to the Apocrypha even
two weeks (Tob. 8:20; 10:7). The bride was then accompanied to her home in a gay procession with music

and singing (Ps 78:63; Jer 7:34; 16:9). The bride was blessed with the benediction that she might bear many
children (Gen 24:60; Ruth 4:11).
In the New Testament era the wedding feast, given by the grooms family, would be attended by guests
suitably attired (Matt 22:212). Jesus performed his first recorded miracle at the marriage feast at Cana of
Galilee (John 2:111). The procession to the grooms home took place late at night (Matt 25:113; Luke
12:3538). Friends of the bridal parties, called the children of the bridechamber, played important roles in
the nuptial festivities
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 248
(Matt 9:15); John the Baptist called himself the friend of the bridegroom in relation to Christ (John
3:29).12
The early church retained many elements of the Roman wedding. The brides veil was purple and white.
Instead of the pagan sacrifice Christians substituted the celebration of the Lords Supper. In Byzantine times
the promise to love was added to marriage contracts. Bishop Ambrose permitted decorous celebrations,
but denounced the wanton behavior at pagan weddings.13
Though Ignatius counseled, It befits that those marrying and being given in marriage should enter upon
their union with the approval of the bishop so that their marriage may be according to the Lord and not from
lust (To Polycarp 5), neither episcopal approval nor ecclesiastical blessing was necessary to validate
marriages in the early church. It was not until the fifth century that ecclesiastical benediction became a
universal custom, and in the sixth century a special form of marriage service became common.

The Significance of Marriage

Marriage in the Creative Order
God created man and woman, and instituted marriage for companionship and intimate fellowship. God
created Eve to be an for Adam, literally, a helper opposite him or a helper corresponding to him
(Gen 2:18). The medieval Jewish commentator Rashi explained, if he is worthy, she will be a help; if not,
she will be against him. The context makes it clear that Adams need for companionship could not be
satisfied by the beasts of the field. God therefore fashioned a creature who would be his counterpart, who
would aid him and meet his various needs.
This means that marriage is not viewed primarily as a tribal affair designed to continue the clan as in some
societies, but as a relationship between two individuals for companionship and intimate fellowship. Genesis
2:24 is a key verse often cited in the New Testament (Matt 19:5; Mark 10:7; 1 Cor 6:16; Eph 5:31):
Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one
flesh. The consent of the bride, which was not always expected in ancient societies, was established by the
church as a necessary condition for marriage.
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 249
God ordained marriage for the procreation of children. An important but not the only purpose of marriage is
the procreation of and the raising of children (Gen 1:28; Eph 6:14). This means, on the one hand, that
sexual union in marriage is beautiful and honorable (Heb 13:4), and, on the other hand, that sexual
gratification was not designed as an end in itself.
The Gnostics held two contrary, nonbiblical misconceptions of sex and marriage: asceticism and
licentiousness. Most of the Gnosticsheretics who emphasized the dualistic opposition between the
spiritual and the material worldsviewed sex as inherently evil and adopted an ascetical denigration of

marriage. They deplored the procreation of children as an act which brought more souls into the bondage of
the flesh.14
Many of the church fathers also adopted negative attitudes toward the sexual aspects of marriage. Tertullian
remarked, Marriage, forsooth, is better because burning is worse! How much better it is neither to marry
nor to burn!15 Christians in Syria adopted Encratite views which promoted spiritual marriages without
sexual relations.16
This trend led to an exaggerated regard for virginity and celibacy as more virtuous states than marriage. In
A.D. 305 the Canons of Elvira in Spain forbade members of the clergy from having relations with their
wives. The Nicene Council in 325 ruled that no priest should marry after ordination.17
At the other extreme were some Gnostics, such as Basilides and Carpocrates, who adopted a licentious
attitude toward sex. Their rationale was that their essential spiritual natures could not be contaminated by
what was done in their physical bodies any more than pearls could be sullied by mud. Such a rationalization
is clearly condemned by the biblical view that believers bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor
6:1220).18
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 250

Marriage in the Framework of Christs Redemption

Marriage is a divine vocation. Marriage should not be undertaken simply under social or parental
compulsion. It must be viewed as a divine calling to a full-time vocation and a lifelong commitment.
Abrahams servant who was sent to fetch a bride for Isaac made his mission a matter of earnest prayer for
divine guidance (Gen 24). Christian men and women should do no less in regard to the subject of marriage.
Paul recognized that the calling to be married or to remain unmarried was in either case a gift (1 Cor 7:7). In
his own case Paul, who under the circumstances was more probably a widower than a bachelor, chose to
remain unmarried for the sake of his ministry. He regarded this decision as a sacrifice since other apostles
had their wives (1 Cor 9:5).
Havergal, who bequeathed a treasure of hymns, made that difficult decision several times. Though frail in
health, she was a brilliant, beautiful, and talented woman. During the course of her life, Frances Ridley
Havergal refused several offers of marriage. More than once she severed a friendship which cost her keen
pain to renounce, because it seemed to hinder her complete consecration.19
Each individual Christian should ascertain Gods will for his or her life, asking God to lead him to the right
partner, or to grant him the grace to remain single.
Marriage is a spiritual as well as a nuptial relationship. The Old Testament interdiction of mixed marriages
was aimed not so much at ethnic miscegenation as against spiritual adulteration. Moses, for example,
married a Cushite woman, that is, a Negro from the Sudan, against the objections of Aaron and Miriam
(Num 12:1). In spite of the prohibition against marriage with Moabites (Deut 23:3), the devotion of the
Moabitess Ruth to Naomi and to her God gained Ruth an honored status as an ancestress of David (Ruth
4:17) and of Christ (Matt 1:5).
Marriages with non-Jews were condemned as leading to spiritual apostasy (Gen 24:3; Judg 3:56), as seen
most clearly in the case of Solomon and his numerous foreign wives (Neh 13:26). In the postexilic period
mixed marriages were severely condemned by Ezra (Ezra 910) and Nehemiah (Neh 1013). The baneful
results of intermarriage are evident in the fate of the Israelites from the northern kingdom. They were
completely assimilated into the
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 251

society of their pagan Assyrian captors and became the ten lost tribes.
The New Testament warns against marriages with non-Christians (2 Cor 6:14), and widows are explicitly
advised to marry within the faith (1 Cor 7:39). Ambrose warned, There can be no unity of love where there
is no unity of faith. Tertullian in his treatise Ad Uxorem (To His Wife) listed the problems that a Christian
wife encountered when she married a pagan: her husband objected to her devotions and duties, and forced
her to perform pagan ceremonies.
Tertullian conceded that matters were different in a marriage where the wife became converted to Christ, as
her mate would be impressed by her transformation. In such cases, Paul advised the Christian wife to stay
with her unbelieving husband especially for the sake of the children (1 Cor 7:1314). Peter admonished the
wife to win her husband without a word, i.e., by her exemplary behavior (1 Pet 3:12).
Marriage calls for Christlike love and concern. The Christian marriage must not be simply a matter of warm
( (friendship) or passionate (romantic love), but rather a relationship steeped in (the
sacrificial love of Christ).20 The husband is called on to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and the
wife is called on to submit to her husband as the church is subject to Christ (Eph 5:2225).
But how is this subjection of the wife to her husband to be reconciled with Galatians 3:28, which holds that
in Christ there is neither male nor female for all are one in Him? Some writers, such as Scanzoni and
Hardesty, influenced by the current womens liberation movement, have argued forcefully that Pauls
statements about a wifes subordination are altogether cultural and relative.21
It is certainly true that in respect to legal standing and social mores the degree and manner in which
Christian wives are kept in submission are inevitably culturally conditioned. A Christian husband,
however, who suppresses or subjugates his wife violates the command to love her as his own self (Eph
5:28).
The command for wives to submit to their husbands (Eph 5:22; Col 3:18; 1 Pet 3:1) is based on redemptive
relationships and the creative order (1 Tim 2:1115). It does not imply
BSac 135:539 (Jul 78) p. 252
subjection or inferiority on the wifes part. The biblically enjoined submission is temporal, and is part of the
larger concept of Christian meekness and humility in submitting to each other (Eph 5:21; 1 Pet 5:5).
Clement recognized that women are equal to men in everything though different in vocation and function.
To be a mother and a housewife is not to be a drudge or a drone. In Gods sight there can be no higher
calling. Ambrose, who believed that the two sexes were complementary, admonished husbands not to
dominate his wife: Let a husband guide his wife like a director, honor her as a partner of his life, share with
her as a joint heir of grace (Epistula 63.107).
E. O. James, commenting on the subordination of wives to their husbands in Christian marriage, concludes:
The obedience demanded of the wife, however, was based on the underlying theological conceptions in
which human relationships were interpreted in terms of Gods relationship with man. Thus, for the Christian
obedience was the supreme virtue valuable for its own sake when freely given not from weakness but from
strength, as exemplified in the perfect self-oblation of Christ wherein was manifested the highest expression
of love.22

Cf. the authors Christianity and Cultural Differences, Christianity Today, June 23, 1973, pp. 5-8; and
Culture, in Dictionary of Christian Ethics, ed. Carl F. H. Henry (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1973),

pp. 158-59; and the exchange of letters with Nancy Hardesty in Christianity Today, August 11, 1972. pp. 2829.
2

M. K. Hopkins, The Age of Roman Girls at Marriage, Population Studies 18 (196465): 309-27.

G. J. Wenham, Btulah a girl of marriageable age, Vetus Testamentum 22 (1972): 326-48.

Isaac Levy, Marriage Preliminaries, Jewish Marriage, ed. Peter Elman (London: Soncino Press, 1967),
pp. 47-48.
5

H. J. Leon, The Jews of Ancient Rome (New York: Jewish Publication Society, 1960), pp. 230-31.

P. W. Pestman, Marriage and Matrimonial Property in Ancient Egypt (Leiden: E. J. Brill, 1961), pp. 32-37.

A. Harrison, The Law of Athens, vol. 1, The Family and Property (Oxford University Press, 1968), p. 8.

P. Corbett, The Roman Law of Marriage (1930; reprint ed., Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1969), pp. 177-81.

Millar Burrows, The Basis of Israelite Marriage (New Haven, CT: American Oriental Society, 1938), pp.
13-15.
10

Samuel Greengus, The Old Babylonian Marriage Contract, Journal of the American Oriental Society 89
(1969): 505-32.
11

H. J. Wolff, Written and Unwritten Marriages in Hellenistic and Postclassical Roman Law (Haverford,
CT: American Philological Association, 1939), pp. 100-101; idem, Marriage Law and Family Organization
in Ancient Athens, Tradio 2 (1944): 53-65; cf. W. Gomme, The Position of Women in Athens in the 5th
and 4th Centuries, Classical Philology 20 (1925): 10-15.
12

Richard A. Batey, New Testament Nuptial Imagery (Leiden: E. J. Brill, 1971), pp. 47-50.

13

W. J. Dooley, Marriage according to St. Ambrose (Washington, DC: Catholic University of America,
1948), p. 13.
14

Edwin M. Yamauchi, Gnostic Ethics and Mandaean Origins (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press,
1970), pp. 31-34.
15

Tertullian Ad Uxorem (To His Wife) 1. 3, cited in Tertullians Treatises on Marriage and Remarriage,
trans. W. le Saint (Westminster, MO: Newman Press, 1956).
16

S. Brock, Early Syrian Asceticism, Numen 20 (1973): 1-19.

17

Charles A. Frazee, The Origins of Clerical Celibacy in the Westem Church, Church History 41 (1972):
149-67.
18

On the abuse of sex in cultic prostitution in both the Old Testament era and the New Testament era, see
Edwin M. Yamauchi, Cultic Prostitution: A Case Study in Cultural Diffusion, in Orient and Occident
(Cyrus H. Gordon Festschrift), ed. Harry A. Hoffner (Kevalaer: Butzon und Bercker, 1973), pp. 213-22.
19

T. H. Darlow, Frances Ridley Havergal (New York: Fleming H. Revell, 1927), p. 56.

20

Cf. C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (New York: Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, 1971), esp. chaps. 5 and 6.

21

Letha Scanzoni and Nancy Hardesty, All Were Meant to Be (Waco, TX: Word Books, 1974).

22

E. O. James, Marriage and Society (Atlantic Highlands, NJ: Hutchinsons University Library, 1952]), p.
99.