Become A Master Communicator PDF

BECOME A
MASTER
COMMUNICATOR
59 quick and easy tips you

can usetodayto become a
standout writer, speaker,
presenter, and listener
Robbie Hyman
robbie hyman
COPYWRITING
www.RobbieHymanCopywriting.com
Sharing, reprinting and re-publishing this e-book

is not only legal but encouraged.
Please, pass it on!
RobbieHymanCopywriting.com
BECOMEAMASTERCOMMUNICATOR
INTRODUCTION
Anyofthesescenariossoundfamiliar?
Youreaskedtogiveastatusupdateatyourcompanysallhandsmeetingandyoure
terrifiedofpublicspeaking.
Youneedtowriteadocumentforseniormanagementandyoujustcantgetstarted.
Youjusthadaconferencecallwithcoworkerstodiscussaprojectandnowyouremore
confusedthanyouwerebeforethecall.
Youreinameetingandyouvejustbeenaskedforyouropinionandyouhaventbeen
payingattentionforseveralminutes.
Imaginehowmuchmoreproductiveandcreativeyoucouldbeifyouwereableto:
Speakpowerfullyinanysetting
Writeclearandpersuasivebusinessdocumentsthatgetresults
Learnthepowerfulskillofreadingandunderstandingbodylanguage
Earnareputationatworkasacharismaticpresenter
Becomethetypeoflistenerpeopleseekoutandwanttoconfidein
Beagreatoneononeconversationalist
Communicateyourthoughts,ideasandneedsclearly
Aboutyou
Afewassumptions:YourereadingacommunicationskillsebookratherthanabookbyStephen
King,soyouremotivated.Youreintelligent.Andyourebusy.
Aboutme
ImRobbieHyman.Hi.Beenwritingprofessionallyfor15years.Teachingcommunicationskills
foralmostthatlong,mostlytobusyprofessionalslikeyou.
Aboutthisebook
Thisbookdistillsthefinestcommunicationskillswisdomintosimplepracticesyoucanuse
today.Turnjustafewofthesetipsintohabits,andyourcommunicationskillswilldramatically
improve.Usethemall,andyoullbecomeastandoutcommunicator.Ivecutoutthefluff,butI
hopeyoullpermitmesomehumorandstoriestomakemypointsmorememorableforyou.
Enjoy!
BECOMEAMASTERWRITER
Tip 1
Tellstories
Inthe1990s,Volvofounditselfwithexcessinventoryofgreencars.Peoplejustdidntwant
them.SotheSalesandMarketingdepartmentscameupwithallsortsofgreatdealsjustfor
greenVolvosandtheystartedselling.
Problemis,nooneinSalesorMarketingtoldtherestoftheorganizationwhattheywereupto.
SowhentheManufacturingandPlanningteamslearnedgreenVolvoswereflyingoffthelots,
theytookitasasignofthecolorspopularity.Andtheyrampedupproductionofgreencars!
Now,considerhowmuchmorelikelyyouaretorememberthatstorythanifIhadsimply
written,Increaseinterdepartmentalcommunicationtoimproveorganizationaleffectiveness.
Storiesengageouremotions.Theymotivateus.Theymakeuslaugh.Theymakeusremember.
Andtheyoftenmakeuswanttorepeatthemtoeveryoneweknow.
Thebestwaytocommunicateanimportantpointorinsightistoputitintostoryform.Ifyou
wantyourwrittendocumentstocompelyourstafforcolleaguesorprospectsorother
constituentstotakeaction,wrapyourpointsandinsightsintogreatstories.
Tip 2
Writewithsmallerwords
TheEnglishlanguagecontainsroughlyamillionwords.Buttheaverageadultknowsonlyabout
10,000ofthem.Simplewordsworkbest.
Manypeoplethinktheirwrittenworkwillappearmoreprofessionalwithacademicorlegal
wordshereinafter,utilize,ascertain.Butstuffywordsliketheseonlycloudyourwriting.
Evenifyourreaderunderstandseveryword,writingwithstiltedjargonslowsyourreaderdown,
makesreadingyourwordslessenjoyable,anddistractsfromyourcoremessage.
Yourewritingtocommunicateinformationandgetyourreaderstoact.Makeiteasyforthem.
Dontwriteitthisway:
Writeitthisway:
Afterendeavoringtoascertainthe
Aftersearchingforthesourceofthe
originsoftheproblemsinthecustomer
problemsinourcustomerservice
servicedepartment,Iamoftheopinion
department,Ithinktheissueispoor
thattheseissuesnecessitatemore
training.Thesolution,Ibelieve,isa
training,and,asperyourrequestfor
bettertrainingprogram.
suggestions,Irecommendthatnew
programsbeimplementedforthwith.
Stuffy:
Replacewith:
Endeavor
Ascertain
Signify
Utilize
Presently
Forthwith
Facilitate
Withinthecurrenttimeframe
Asubstantialmajorityof
Duetothefactthat,Onthegroundsthat
Possessestheabilityto
Itisincumbentupon
Concerningthematterof
Try
Findout
Mean
Use
Now
Now,Soon
Help
Now
Many,Most
Because
Can
Must,Should
About
Contrarytoacommonlyheldbelief,noonewillthinkyourenotsmartbecauseyouwriteusing
small,easytofollowwordsandphrases.Theyllthinkyoureclear.
Tip 3
Writeshortparagraphs
Imagine:Youreturntoyourofficeandfindtwolettersonyourdesk.Oneisaseriesofshort,
twoandthreelineparagraphs.Theotheriswrittenasonelongparagraph,singlespaced,
coveringalmosttheentirepage.Whichwillyoureadfirst?
Useshortparagraphs.
Big,uninterruptedblocksoftextaresuchaturnoffvisuallythatweoftensimplyavoidreading
themaltogether.
Inbusinesswriting,yourgoalistocommunicateyourmessageclearlyandpersuasivelyand
youwontaccomplishthatifyourdocumentlookslikesuchachorethatyourreadersignoreit.
Asageneralrule,trytokeepyourparagraphstofourlinespreferablynomorethanthree.
Tip 4
Writeshortsentences
Canapieceofwritingphysicallyharmitsreader?Yes,ifitfailswhatmastercopywriterBobBly
callsthebreathtest.
HavealookbelowatthefirstsentenceofaDecember2009columnbyCNBChostLarryKudlow.
(Yes,thatsonesentence.)Canyoureaditstraightthroughwithoutstoppingtobreathe?
Despitethehistoricexpansionofthefederalgovernmentsinvolvementin,interventionin,and
controloftheeconomyincludingBailoutNation;takeoversofbanks,carcompanies,insurance
firms,Fannie,Freddie,AIG,GM,Chrysler,andGMAC;largescaletaxthreats;overregulation;an
attemptedtakeoverofthehealthcaresector;ultraeasymoney;adecliningdollar;and
unprecedentedspendinganddebtcreationdespiteallthethingsthatwouldbeexpectedto
destroytheeconomyallthissocialismliteandthedegradingofincentivesandrewardsfor
successdespiteallthis,theU.S.economyhasnotbeendestroyed.
Oftenwhenwerepassionateaboutourtopic,wewritetoomuchineachsentence.Butour
readersneedtoreceiveinformationatareasonablepace.Moreimportant,theyneedoxygen.
Asyoureviewyourwriting,readitaloudandgiveeverysentencethebreathtest.Yourreaders
canttakewhateveractionyouwantthemtotakeiftheyvefallenunconscious.
Tip 5
Leadwiththebottomline
Therecipientsofyourbusinessdocumentsarebusy.Sothefirststatementofanydocumentyou
sendareport,proposal,statusupdate,evenanemailshouldsummarizethedocuments
purposeandcontent.Thisshowsclarityofthoughtandrespectforyourreaderstime.
Anexample:
ThisreportoutlinestheresultsofCustomerServicessurveyoffirsttimecustomerson
theirexperiencewiththecompany.
Or:
Dan:
Iamnotimpressedwiththenewmarketingcampaign.Herearemyreasons:
Manyprofessionalsmissthiseasyopportunitytomaketheirdocumentsmorereadableand
compelling.Instead,theywritelinearlystartingwithanintroduction,buildingtheircasewith
factuponfact,andfinallyexplainingattheendthedocumentsconclusionandpurpose.
Giveawaythepunchlineupfront.Startwithyourconclusionsandthengointoyourfacts.This
notonlyshowsyourreadersyourespecttheirtime,itenablesthemtoreadyourdocumentwith
muchmorecontext,andwithanunderstandingofwhyyouareincludingeachpoint.
Leadingwiththebottomlinealsogivesyoumoreofanopportunitythroughoutthedocument
topersuadeyourreaderofyourargument,ifthatswhatyouretryingtodo.
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Tip 6
Uselists
Whereverpossible,breakyourbusinessdocumentsintolists.Why?Severalreasons(whichIve
brokenintothefollowinglist):
1. Alistmakesyourdocumenteasiertoread,andithelpsyourreadersorganizeyourkey
pointsintheirminds.
2. Listsbreakupthetext.Whereaslong,blockyparagraphsareavisualturnoff,listsare
invitingreaderseyestendtobedrawntolistswhentheyseetheminadocument.
Theymakereadingyourdocumentsamorepleasantexperience.
3. Makinglistsinyourdocumentsactuallyhelpsyoubetterorganizeyourpointsandmake
thosepointsclearertoyourreaders.
Heresanexampleofhoworganizedandreadableyourideascanbeinlistform:
TheSalesandMarketingCustomerTaskForcehasidentifiedthefollowingproblemswith
ourcurrentcustomerserviceprocess:

Thatsentence,andaquickglanceatthebulletsbelowit(assumingtheycontainedtext),would
givethereaderanimmediateunderstandingofwhattoexpectfromthisdocument.
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Tip 7
Dontwriteunnecessarywords
Yourbusinessdocumentshouldbeexactlyaslongasnecessarytoclearlyandpersuasivelymake
yourcaseandnotawordlonger.
ProbablyduetoourtraininginschoolYourpapermustbefivepagestoreceivecredit
manyprofessionalsbelievethatthelongeradocumentis,themoreimportantitwillappear.
Theresevenapositivephraseforthis:Thudfactor.
Butremember,yourreaderstimeisimportanttothem,andkeepingyourdocumenttothe
minimumlengthpossibletocommunicateyourinformationshowsyourespecttheirtime.
Also,thelongeryourdocumentis,themoreofachoreitwillseemtoread.Youdontwantyour
readersopeningupyourdocumentalreadydislikingit.
ThemostfamousspeechinAmericanhistory,LincolnsGettysburgAddress,lastedtwominutes.
PresidentLincolnwasnteventheeventsfeaturedspeaker.ThatwasCongressmanEdward
Everett,andhespokefortwohours.Rememberlearningabouthisspeech?NeitherdoI.
Inyourfirstdraft,includeeverypointandideathatseemsrelevant.Then,inyourreview,
ruthlesslycuteverywordthatdoesntstrengthenyourcaseorotherwisejustifyitsspace.
Abriefdocument,onewithnofat,packsalotmorepunchthanonethatsbloatedwith
unnecessarywords.Makeyourpointandgetout.AndthatsallIhavetosayaboutthis.
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Tip 8
Sumitallup
Thekeytoeffectivewrittencommunicationisclarity.Attheendofanybusinessdocument
(includinganemail),youshouldsummarizethemainpointsyouvemade.
Likewritinginshort,easytoreadparagraphs,providingasummarymakesyourwritingclearer,
showsrespectforyourreaderstimeandincreasesthelikelihoodyourreaderswillactonyour
ideas.
Agoodrule,especiallyinlongerdocumentssuchasreportsorproposals,istoincludeasection
calledSummaryorConclusion,andinthatsectionclearlyandbrieflyrestatethedocuments
mainpoints(ideallyinlistform).
Forshorterdocuments,youshouldincludeashortwrapupstatementthatrestatesyourcase.
Note:Thisendofdocumentsummaryshouldbeinadditiontothesummaryyouincluderightat
thetopofyourdocument.
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Tip 9
Giveyourreadersclearnextsteps
Haveyoueverreadaproposal,salesletteroremailandthought,WhatamIsupposedtodo
now?
Dontassumethat,aftertheyvereadyourdocument,yourreaderswillknowwhatifanyactions
youwantthemtotake.Includeclearactionssteps.Someexamples:
Pleaserespondtothisemailwithyourthoughtsonthenewcampaign.
Sendmeafewdaysandspecifictimesnextweekthatworkforyoutohaveafollow
updiscussion;Illpickoneandsendyouameetinginvitation.
PleaseemailTerryandaskherforanelectroniccopyofthereport.
Callmeat(xxx)xxxxxxxtodiscusshowouragenciescanworktogether.
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Tip 10
Includesomeappropriatehumor
Asayoungwriterlookingforclients,Isentoutaletterthatendedwith:Wantsamplesofmy
writing?Letmeknow.Icansendyouafew,abunch,orenoughtopropopenyourofficedoor.
Notthefunniestthingyouveeverread.Notevenlaughoutloudfunny.Butitservedan
importantpurpose:Ithumanizedmeforprospectiveclients.Manyhiredmefromthispitch
letteralone.Andmanytoldmethattheyenjoyedthislastline.Peopledontexpecttofind
anythingevenremotelyamusinginadocumenttheyreadatwork.Itsanicesurprise.
Wevelearnedinourcareerstothinkofawellwrittendocumentasstilted,formal.Andweve
learnedtowritethatway.Butwhosaysweshouldequatebeingprofessionalwithbeingboring?
Writingwithalittlehumorremindsyourreadersthattheresarealpersonontheotherendof
thedocument.Thatcanmakeahugedifferenceinhowyourreadersjudgebothyourwritten
workandyou.
Ofcourse,whenaddinghumortoaprofessionaldocumentofanytype(email,report,etc.),you
needtokeepinmindsomeimportantrules:
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Dontuseprofanity.
Dontuseoffensiveoroffcolorhumor.
Dontmakethereaderoranyoneelse(exceptyourself)thebuttofyourjoke.
Usehumorsparingly.Yourewritingaprofessionaldocument,notacomediansmonologue.
Startseriously.Youearntherighttobeamusingonlyafteryouvedemonstratedyour
documentsseriousness.
Notsurewhetheralineyouwanttouseisactuallyfunnyenough,orevenappropriate,forthe
documentyourewriting?Askafriendorcolleague.Thenuseyourownbestjudgment.
Andremember:Youcanbeprofessionalandfunny.Putyourselfinyourreadersshoes.Would
youprefertoreadadocumentatworkthatnearlyputyoutosleep,oronethatgaveyouthe
sameinformationbutalsomadeyousmileafewtimes?
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Tip 11
Singletaskyourwriting
Afriendtoldmeanearhorrorstoryaboutanemailhealmostsenttoanadministratoratthe
CityUniversityofNewYork.Ashewaswrappinguphisemaildraft,hisphonerang.Sowhileon
thecall,myfriendtypedhissubjectline,Attn:CUNYadmin.
Atleast,thatswhathemeanttotype.
HewasreadytohitSendwhenhiscallended,andmyfriendluckilyhadachancetogivehis
draftaquickreview.Turnsout,hemissedtheYkeyinCUNYandinsteadtypedanotherletter.
Thelesson:Writingisasingletaskactivity.Studyafterstudyhasshownthatthemultitasking
strategyisamyth.Ourbrainscanbedevotedtoonlysomanymentaltasksatonce.Trysinginga
songwhileaddingacoupleofthreedigitnumbersinyourhead.Orbetteryet,noticehowaman
turnsdownthecarstereowhileheslookingforanaddress.
Whensomeoneismultitasking,theyrelikelydoingmanythingsbadlyatthesametime.And
becausewritingrequiressomuchofyourbrainpower,itssafetosaythatalmostanydistraction
whileyourewritingcanderailthewholeprocess.Sowhenitstimetowrite,write.
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Tip 12
Triplecheckyourwork
Heresanunintentionallyfunnytaglinefromacompanythatsolddataaboutcomputerchips:
Ifyoufindacomponentinourdatabase,itprobablydoesntexist.
Twothingsaremissinghere:
1. Awellplaceddontorcant.
2. Proofreading!
Thiscouldhavebeenaverypowerfulsellingmessageforthiscompanyscomponentdatabase
ifthewriterhadspentjustaminuteortwoproofreadingit.
Thelesson:Whenyourefinishedwriting,putyourdocumentawayforawhileatleastaday,if
possibleandthenproofreaditslowly.Betteryet,haveatrustedfriendorcolleagueproofitfor
you.
Spendmoretimethanyouthinkisnecessarytoreviewanywrittenworkbeforesendingitoutto
theworld.Itsalwaysbettertooverdoyourproofreading.
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Tip 13
Thinklikeyourreader
Mywifeworksforasmallsoftwarecompany.Atonepoint,thebusinessstruggledtostayafloat,
andthestaffknewthatwithoutnewinvestmentthecompanywoulddissolve.
Soimaginewhattheaverageworkerthoughtwhentheyreadthissubjectlineinanemailthat
theCEOsenttothewholecompany:
From:CEO
To:AllEmployees
Subject:Closed
Lookslikebadnews,right?Nope.TheCEOwasenthusiasticallyannouncinganinvestorhad
acquiredthecompany.Itwasthiscompanysavingdealthatclosed.Notthecompany.Phew!
Thelesson:Thatsubjectlinecouldhavegivensomeoneinthecompanyacardiacevent.Hadhe
steppedbacktoconsiderhowhisnervousstaffmightreadhiswords,fromtheirpointofview
theCEOmighthaveusedadifferentsubjectline.Maybe,Greatnewsonthefinancingfront!
Alwaystrytothinklikeyourreaderwhenyouwrite.Yourewritingforthem,afterall,andthe
moreyoucanseethingsfromtheirpointofview,themoreeffectiveyourwritingwillbe.
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Tip 14
Limityourtextsvisualenhancements
Ifyouwanttocallattentiontoapointinawrittendocument,writeyourpointmorestrongly.
Dontdressitupwithcapitalization,italics,bold,underline,differentfontsorcolors,largertype
orothervisualenhancements.
ThiscreateswhatIcalltheransomnoteeffect.
Youveprobablyseendocumentslikethis,withallsortsofeyecatchingfonts andT E X T
E N H A N C E M E N T S .Distracting,isntit?Yourenotsurewhatsimportantorwhat
tofocuson.
Heresagoodruleofthumbforyourtextinadocument:
Useatmosttwofontsfortheentiredocument(perhapsadifferentfontforheaders)
Useonlyafewtypesizes(oneforheaders,theotherforbodycopy)
Useatmosttwotextenhancements(forexample,boldoritalics)
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Afewtipsforemail
Tip 15
Ifyouwantaresponse,sendittoonepersonatatime
Whenyousendasingleemailtosixrecipientsandaskforhelp,yourealmostguaranteednotto
receiveany.
Eachcolleaguewhoreceivesyouremailisbusyandprobablydistractedbyotherissuesatthe
momenttheyopenyourmessage.Soifyoureaskingforhelpinyouremail,andyourrecipients
seefiveothernamesintheTo:field,theylllikelyassumesomeoneelsewillstepup.
Instead,sendyourrequesttoasinglecolleagueatatime.Yourrecipientismuchmorelikelyto
respondtoapersontopersoncommunicationthantoaminimassemail.
Ifyouneedtodothisafewtimestofindsomeonewhowillhelpyou,sobeit.
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Tip 16
Limiteachemailtooneideaortopic
Haveyoueverreceivedanemailaskingforacopyofthenewexpenseform,andalsoasking
whatyouthinkofHRsupdatedvacationpolicy,andendingwithaquestionaboutwhether
youregoingtotheTaskForcemeetingMonday?
WhenIreadanemaillikethis,Imarkitunread,closeit,andavoiditaslongasIcan.
Theseemailsareannoyingbecausetheyforceyoutofigureouthowtoanswerallofthetotally
unrelatedpointsandquestionsinyourresponse.
Giveeachemailyouwriteasinglethingtoaccomplish.Youremailswillgetansweredmuch
morequickly,andyourprofessionalreputationwillincreasetoo.
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Tip 17
Changethesubject!
Sometimesinalongbackandforthemailchain,youandyourrecipientwillchangetopics.
Whenthathappens,itstimetochangethesubjectlineespeciallyifyouretheonewho
introducedthenewtopic.
Thissimplepracticekeepstheemailconversationclearandwillensurethemessagemakes
senseincaseoneofyouforwardsthechaintoathirdparty.
Changingthesubjectlinewhenitsappropriatewillalsohelpyouandyouremailpenpalfind
themessageinthefuture.IfyouvewrittenaclearandlogicalnewsubjectlineNewvacation
policyyoumightbeabletofinditayearlater.Butnotifyoulefttheemailsubjectasre:re:
re:birthdaycakeintheconferenceroom!
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Tip 18
Ifyouwouldntsayitinastaffmeeting,dontputitinemail
Email,likeanydocumentyouwriteandsharewithevenonecolleague,ispublicandpermanent.
Itspublicbecauseassoonasyousendit,itsnolongeryours.Itcouldgoanywhere,toanybody,
atanytime.
Itspermanentbecausetheemailsrecipientsandthepeopletheyforwarditto,andthe
peopletheyforwardittoownitforever.
Thinkingofincludingafunnyinsultaboutyoursupervisororcustomerinanemailtoafriendly
colleague?Rethinkthat.
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Tip 19
EasyontheLOL!
Ittakessolittleefforttosendanemailthatwetendtothinkofitaslessimportant,more
disposable,thanotherformsofbusinesswriting.
Butremember:Yourworkemailisaprofessionaldocumentthatreflectsonyourreputation
anditcanendupanywhere.
Whatifyouincludeagreatideainanemailandacolleagueprintsitoutandputsitonthedesk
ofsomeonewhoseopinionyoucareabout?Doyouwantthatpersontoseethatyouvewritten
wutdewuthkofthiscraaaazyidea?!?orOMGor?
Stillthinkyoucanputlessthoughtandeffortintoyourprofessionalemailsthanintoyourother
documents?LOL!
25
Afewtipstoconquerwritersblock
Tip 20
Stopwaitingforperfection
StephenJ.Cannellisoneofthemostsuccessfulproducersintelevisionhistory.Hescreated
dozensofhitshows(TheRockfordFiles,Wiseguy,TheATeam),andheswrittenhundredsofTV
scripts.Thesecrettohissuccesswillsurpriseyou.
Cannelisdyslexic.Hecanbarelyread.Butasanupandcomingwriter,hesawthisasan
advantage.Why?
Formostofus,writersblockcomesfromafearofputtinganythingonpaperbecauseitmight
notbegoodenough.ButCannellslearningdisabilitymeantheknewthatwhateverhewrote
wouldntbegoodenoughatleastnotwithoutseriousediting.
Soheneverworried.Hejustwrote.
Acceptthatyourfirstdraftwontbeperfect.Whenyoudo,youcanjuststartwriting.Andthe
sooneryoustartwriting,thesooneryoullcompleteyourfirstdraftandcanthenstarteditingit
intoaseconddraft,whichwillbebetter.
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Tip 21
Talkitthrough
Ifyoucantstarttyping,starttalking.Yourdocumentshouldbewritteninaconversationaltone
anyway,sospeakingaboutitisagoodplacetostart.
Inviteacolleagueintoyourofficetolisten,andstartexplainingwhatyouwanttowrite.Toget
thewordsflowing,useanopeninglikethis:Thisdocumentneedsto.
Usingcasuallanguage,explainwhatyouwanttocommunicatewiththedocument.Asyouhear
yourself,youllprobablygrabyourkeyboardseveraltimesandsay,Hey,thatsgood.Ishould
usethat.
Youllneedyourcolleaguetostayandlistenforatleastafewminutessoyoucanbuildyour
rhythm.Thisiswhy,nomatterwhatthedoctorssay,itsagoodideatokeepahugejarofcandy
onyourdesk.
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Tip 22
Addsomethinganythingtotheblankpage
Staringatablankpagecansetoffwritersblockbecauseittriggersthoseselfdefeating
thoughtsthatcanparalyzeuswhenwetrytostartwriting:Itwontbegoodenough.Ihavent
writtenasingleword.Ihavenoideahowtostart.
Whenyoufireupanewdocument,immediatelystarttypingsomething,anything,aboutthe
subjectwhothedocumentsreaderswillbe,whenitsdue,aworkingtitle,acoupleofideas
forsections,anythingyoucanthinkof.
Youreactuallytrickingthepartofyourmindthatsafraidtostart.Insteadofstaringatablank
page,nowyouseeascreenfullofdisorganizedcontent.Youllwanttoedit,cut,rephrase,and
rearrange.Youllsay,Ishouldmovethisupslidethattotheleftboldthetitleturnthese
threepointsintoalist.Suddenly,yourewriting!And,trustme,nowtheideaswillstartflowing.
MoviecriticRogerEbertsays,Themusevisitsduringtheactofcreation,notbefore.Thatshis
cleverwayofsayingthatthewords,theideas,andyourenthusiasmforwhatyourewriting
theyallstartcomingtoyouonlyafteryouvestartedwriting.
(Andifyouthinkthatsprofound,youshouldreadEbertsreviewofDieHardwithaVengeance.)
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Tip 23
Getawayfromyourdesk
Evernoticethatsometimesyourbestideascometoyouwhenyoureintheshower,orlyingin
bed,ordriving?
Whenyoudonthavemanydistractions,yourcreativeideascancometothesurface.So
sometimesthebestwaytostartwritingistofigureoutwhatyourdocumentneedsto
communicate,thenleaveyourdeskandgiveyourmindabreaktoletyourcreativitydoitsjob.
Goforawalk.Talktoacolleagueinthebreakroom.Andhey,ifyouhaveashowerintheoffice,
useit!
Thisisagoodreasontobuildinmoretimetowriteyourworkrelateddocuments.Ifyourenot
facingashortdeadline,youcanwalkawayfromthewriting,stopthinkingaboutitconsciously,
andgivethecreativecentersofyourbrainachancetoworktheirmagic.
Oftenyoullleaveyouroffice,dosomethingelseforjustafewminutesandinspirationwill
strike.Whenthishappens,dropeverythingandrunbacktoyourofficeimmediately.
Unlessyouweretakingashower.
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BECOMEAMASTERPRESENTER
ThefirsttimeIhadtogiveaspeech,Iwassoterrifiedthat,duringmydrivetothemeetinghall,I
consideredslammingmycarintoatreesoIhadagoodexcusetomisstheevent.Andafterthey
satthroughthatspeech,myaudienceprobablywishedIhad.
Asuccessfulpresentationisanextremelytrickytask.Hereareafewtipstohelpyoumakeyour
presentationssuccessfulandmemorableanddelivertheresultsyouwant.
Tip 24
Greetattendeesastheyarrive
Yourpresentationactuallybeginsbeforethemeetingstarts,whenthefirstattendeeentersthe
room.Sogetthereearlyandgreetpeopleastheywalkin.Youllfeelmorerelaxedduringyour
talkifyouvehadaniceexchangewitheachpersonintheroom.
Also,ifthemeetingturnshostilebutyourattendeeshavetalkedwithyoubeforehand,theyre
lesslikelytothrowfoodatyou.(Butjustincase,bringboomerangshapedpastries.)
Note:Forconferencecallpresentations,thismeansgreetingeachnewattendeeastheydialin,
beforeyoubeginthepresentation.
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Tip 25
DontusePowerPoint
Thistipishardtofollow,Iknow.WereexpectedtousePowerPoint.Theproblemis,PowerPoint
drainsthelifeoutofapresentation.Thepresenteradvancesfromoneslidetothenext,reading
whatsonthescreenusuallyatitleandalistofbulletedphrases.
Andtheaudienceleapstoitsfeetandcheers!No,waitthatneverhappens.
Ifyourepresentingyourmanagersanideaforanewprogram,talktothem.Movearoundthe
roomandletthemseeyourenthusiasmforthetopic.Showthemimages,tellthemstories,play
avideoclip.Getthemengagedemotionallythatshowyoumakeapresentationmemorable
andgetresults.
Oneexception:PowerPointcanbeusefulasacanvastodisplayimages,shortphrasesor
numbersthattellyourstory.Inotherwords,usePowerPointonlyasavisualbackdropforyour
talknotasthetalkitself.
IfyouhavenochoicebuttousePowerPoint,IrecommendyoureadtheGarrReynoldsbook
PresentationZen,whichhassomegreatideasabouthowtomakepresentations(evenwith
PowerPoint)powerfulandcompelling.
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Tip 26
DontusePowerPoint
Iknow,butitbearsrepeating.
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Tip 27
Useconcretelanguage
Weremakinggreatprogress,andIthinkwereabouttotakethingstothenextlevel.Ifyou
heardthisinameeting,wouldyouhaveanyideawhatthespeakermeant?
Whatdoesweremakinggreatprogressmean?Areyouhalfwaythere?Threequarters?Just
startingbutpleasedwiththeearlyresults?Andexactlywhatlevelisthenextlevel?
Youllwinyouraudienceovertoyoursideonlywhentheycompletelyunderstandyou.That
meansyouneedtospeakinconcretelanguage,notabstractions.
Fillyourpresentationwithspecifics.Youraudiencewillstayengagedandfocusedandyoull
haveamuchbetterchanceofconvincingthemtoseethingsyourway.
(Andifyoutrytosneakvaguestatementspastyouraudience,dontbesurprisedifanattendee
accidentallyhitshimselfwithoneofyourboomerangcroissants.)
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Tip 28
Tellstories
Iincludedthistipinthesectiononwriting,butstoriesareatleastasimportantacomponentin
yourpresentations.Hereswhy.
Letssayyouregivingapresentationtoyourteamaboutimprovingtheircommunicationskills.
Andletssayyouwanttomakeapointthattheyshouldusesmallerwordsinconversation
especiallyinaprofessionalsetting,andespeciallyiftheyreconsideringawordtheyrenot
absolutelycertainhowtouseorpronounce.
Youcouldsimplytellthemyoursuggestion,asIjustdidabove.Oryoucouldshowthema
memorableexampleofwhatcanhappeniftheydontfollowyouradvice,asinthefollowing
story.
Inarecentboardmeeting,acompanypresidentmistakenlysaidthatanissuewastangenital.
Hemeanttangential,buthepronouncedthewordtangenital.Thispromptedaboard
membertorespond:Please,donttelluswhatcolortheyare!
Whichmethoddoyouthinkyouraudienceismorelikelytorememberandacton?
Tobeaneffectivepresenter,youneedtoengageyouraudienceintellectually,butalso
emotionally.Storiesareoftenthebestwaytoengageouremotions.Whereverpossible,wrap
yourpointsinstoriesthatdirectlytargetemotionsinyouraudiencemakethemamusing,
fascinating,heartbreaking,shocking,orlaughoutloudfunny.
34
Tip 29
Makeeyecontactwithasmanyattendeesasyoucan
Ateachergavemyclassthefollowingadvicebeforewehadtostandupinfrontoftheroomand
giveapresentation:Ifyourenervous,justimaginetheclassnaked.
Thatsuggestionwastotallyunnecessarybecausethiswasjuniorhigh.Everybodywasalready
imaginingeverybodyelsenaked!
Butinadditiontobeingcompletelyredundant,thiswasactuallyterribleadvice.Thesamegoes
forasimilarpublicspeakingmyththatitssmarttolookpastyouraudience,tofindsomeplace
onthebackwall,andstareatitwhileyoutalk.
Thereasonthesearebothbadsuggestionsisthattheyforceyoutoavoidtrulyseeingthe
peopleyourespeakingto.
Whenyouregivingapresentation,yourgoalistoconnectwiththepeopleinyouraudience.
Thebestwaytodothatistolookthemintheeye.
Makedirecteyecontactwithrandommembersofyouraudienceforafewsecondseach.(And
dothistrulyrandomly,lookingatpeopleindifferentareasoftheroom,ratherthansimply
movingfromonepersontothenextineachrow.)
Thismakesyouraudiencefeellikeyouretalkingdirectlytothem,anditllhelpyoufeellesslike
yourepresentingtotheroomandmorelikeyourehavingaseriesofoneononeconversations.
35
Tip 30
Dontapologize
Apologizingforamistakeduringyourpresentationonlybreaksupthemomentumofyourtalk
andcallsmoreattentiontothegoof.
Soitsbestnottosaythingslike,ImsorrylookslikeIhitthebuttontwiceandskippeda
slide.IapologizeforthattypoIjustnoticedonthegraph.ExcusemeIvebeenhaving
somestomachproblems.
Ifyoumakeamistakeespeciallyoneyourecertainthatyouraudiencewillnoticesimply
pointoutthemistakewithoutaddinganapologytoit.Intheexampleaboveaboutskipping
slides,youcanaddressthatproblembysimplysaying,Letmemovebackoneslide.
Dealwiththemistake,andthenmoveonquickly.Youraudiencewillforgetquicklyifthey
noticeatallandyoullsoonregainyourrhythm.
36
Tip 31
Makeyourstatisticspop
WhenIgavepresentationsearlyinmycareer,Iloadedthemupwithstatistics.
IassumedthatincludingallthedatathatledtotheconclusionsIwaspresentingwouldadd
credibilitytothoseconclusions.Anditprobablywouldhaveifanyoneinmyaudiencecould
keepfromfallingasleep.
Ifyouneedtoincludestatsorotherfiguresinyourpresentation,dontsimplylistoffaseriesof
numbers.Thatsboring.Findawaytospicethemup,tomakethemmorememorable.
Snore:
Currentprojectionsfortheupcoming
yearareforabudgetdeficitof$50
million.
37
Moreinteresting:
Weneedtotightenthebelt!Wereon
tracknextyeartobeinthehole
$140,000aday.
Tip 32
Pause
WatchJayLenosmonologueonTheTonightShow.Andnoticethis:Lenokeepstalkingright
throughhispunchlines.Hecantpausetowaitforthelaughter.Why?
Thisiscommonamongcomediansevenwildlysuccessfulones.Theyresoterrifiedofaudience
silencebecausethatmeansajokefailedthattheywontriskshuttingupaftertheydeliver
theirpunchlinetowaitthatsplitsecondforthelaughtertorollin.Theyjustkeeptalking.
Somethingsimilaroftenhappenstoprofessionalswhentheydeliverapresentation.Thespeaker
iseitherinsuchahurrytogetthroughtheirtalk,orthey(likestandupcomics)aresoscaredof
silenceintheroom,thattheytalkasquicklyastheycanandhardlystoptobreathe.
Butoftenthemosteffectiveandvaluablemomentsinyourpresentationarethosewhenyou
arecompletelysilent.Hereafewexamplesofhowpausescanaddpowertoyourpresentations:
Apausecanhelpyoumakeapointmoredramatically,bygivingyouraudienceanextra
secondtoletitsinkin.
Apausealertsyouraudiencethatyouveconcludedonepointandaremovingonto
somethingnew.
Apausegivesyouachancetobreathe,relax,andprepareyourtransitionintoyournext
subject.Thiswillmakeyourintroductiontothenewsubjectmorepowerful.
38
Tip 33
Usevisualaids,handoutsandinteraction
Peopletendtoremember:
10%ofwhattheyread
20%ofwhattheyhear
30%ofwhattheysee
50%ofwhattheyhearandsee
70%ofwhattheysayandwrite
90%ofwhattheysayanddo
Todeliveraneffectiveandmemorablepresentation,youllwanttoengageyouraudienceon
severallevels.Ifpeoplerememberonly20%ofwhattheyhear,yourchancesofcreatingagreat
presentationarenthighifthegatheringconsistssolelyofyoutalkingandtheaudiencelistening.
Addsomevisualaidsforexample,ashockingoramusingorotherwisefascinatingimageon
thescreenandnowyouraudienceisbothhearingandseeing.Thatmorethandoubleswhat
youraudiencewillremember,fromanaverageof20%to50%.
Ifyoucangetthembrainstorming,workingingroups,makingsuggestions,writingideasonthe
boardnowtheyrehearing,seeing,sayinganddoing.Andnowyouregivingaproductiveand
memorablepresentation!
39
Tip 34
Startwithhumor
EconomistandauthorThomasSowelloftengivesspeeches.Beforeoneofthem,thespeaker
introducedDr.SowellbytellingtheaudienceofhismanyimpressivecredentialsPhDin
economics,authorofdozensofbooks,contributingwritertoNewsweekandTheWallStreet
Journal,professoratUCLAandCornellthelistwentonandon.
WhenDr.Sowell,inhisearly70s,tookthepodium,hestartedhisspeechbysaying,Thankyou
forthatgreatintroduction.Itwaslikegettingasneakpreviewofmyownobituary.Thisline
workedwonderfullyforseveralreasons:
1. Sowellpokedfunathimselfinparticular,hisageandlethisaudienceknowhewas
notsomeonewhotookhimselftooseriously.
2. Hisjokewasappropriatetothemoment,becauseitsoundedasifitarose
spontaneously(althoughyoucanbetherehearsedit).
3. Thelinewasfunny.Hemadehisaudiencefeelrelaxedandhappybecausetheyknew
rightfromthisfirstlinethattheywereinforanentertainingtalk.
Justmakesurethehumorisaboutyou,youraudienceoryourtopic(dontuseajokethatstarts
withTwoguyswalkintoabar.),andthatyouarentmakingfunofanyonebutyourself.
Andifyourenotsureitsfunny,dontuseit.Bettertohavenojokethanabadone.
40
Tip 35
DontleavetheQ&Asessionfortheend
Thissoundscounterintuitive;wereusedtohavingaspeakertellustoholdourquestionsuntil
theend.
Butwhenyouholdthequestionsuntilafteryouveconcludedyourtalk,yougiveupcontrolof
theroomattheendofyourpresentationjustasyouraudienceisaboutleaveandmentally
recordtheirfinalmemoriesofyourtalk.
ScheduleaQ&Asessionforabriefperiodjustbeforethelastsectionofyourpresentation.This
allowseveryoneinyouraudienceachancetobeheard,butstillgivesyouthechancetodeliver
thedramaticorinspirationalclosingyouwant.
41
Tip 36
Dontmakethesecommonpresentationmistakes
AccordingtoaGalluppoll,audiencesfoundthefollowingspeakerbehaviorsmostannoying:
Cursing
84%
Mumbling,talkingtoosoftly
80%
Talkingtooloudly
73%
Monotonousorboringvoice
73%
Fillerwordslikeum,youknow,andlike
69%
Anasalwhine
67%
Talkingtoofast
66%
Poorgrammar,mispronouncingwords
63%
Ahighpitchedvoice
61%
42
Afewtipstoconquerstagefright
Tip 37
Drinkroomtemperaturewater
Ifyourenervousbeforegivingapublictalk,thechancesaregoodthatyouregoingtoget
thirsty.
Forobviousreasons,dontreachforalcoholorcoffee.Also,donthaveicewateritcan
constrictyourthroatandmakeithardtospeak.
Tryaglassofroomtemperaturewater.
Also,keepthatwatercloseandaccessibleduringyourpresentation.Ifyourmouthgetsdryor
youjustneedanexcusetotakeatwosecondbreakandyouraudiencewillunderstandifyou
doyoucanalwaystakeasip.
Tip 38
Yawn
Yawningrelievestensionbysendingthesignalthatyouretired,whichsetsthebodyintoaction
tryingtorelaxyou.Sobeforeyourpresentationbegins(wherenoonecanseeyou),havea
yawn.(Justdontdoitduringyourpresentation!)
43
Tip 39
Smile
Smilebeforeandduringyourtalk.Inadditiontobeingagreatwaytoconnectwithyour
audienceandhelpthemtorelax,smiling,likeyawning,canchangeyourphysiology.
Itshardtofeeltensionwhenyouresmiling.
Tip 40
Familiarizeyourselfwiththeroombeforehand
Goearlytotheroomwhereyoullbepresenting.Evenifitsjustaconferenceroominyour
companysoffices,itsstillagoodideatogoinalone,takeyourpositionwhereyoullbegiving
yourtalk,andgetasenseoftheroomandthepointofviewyoullhaveasyouaddressyour
attendees.Thiswillmakeyoumorecomfortableduringyourtalk.
Tip 41
Getstrengthfromthepeopleinthefront
Thepeoplewhositclosesttoyouareeagertobeinvolvedortolearn.Makeplentyofeye
contactwiththem,involvethem(althoughnottotheexclusionoftherestofthegroup),and
theyllgiveyoutheenergyandpositivefeedbackthatyouneed.
44
Tip 42
Rememberyouretheexpert
Ifyourenervousaboutspeakinginfrontofagroup,youcanalwaysremindyourselfofthis
importantfact:Someonethoughtenoughofyourknowledgeandtalenttogatheragroupof
peopletogethertohearwhatyouhavetosay.
Youretheexpert,andyouveearnedthetimeandattentionofyourattendees.
45
BECOMEAMASTERCONVERSATIONALIST
Tip 43
Focusontheotherperson
TheCEOofasmalltechnologycompanyIworkedforoftenheldalldaymeetingswithhissenior
staff.Oneday,hoursintoamarathonmeeting,oneoftheVPs,whohadpassedonallofthe
snacksonthetableandhadntlefttheroomallday,stoodupandheadedforthedoor.
CEO:Whereareyougoing?
VP:Imstarving.Imgoingtograbasnackandbringitback.
CEO:Howcanyoubehungry?Ijustate.
Whatsthepointofthisstory?NotmanyofusareasselfcenteredasthatCEO.Butin
conversation,weareoftentoomefocused.
Ofcourse,yourlistenersthinkaboutthingsfromtheirownpointsofview.Inotherwords,
theyremefocusedtoo.Soifyouretryingtomakeyourselfheardorjusttryingtobea
betterconversationalistamoreeffectivemethodthantryingtorefocusyourlistenersonyou
istojointheirinternaldialogueaboutthemselves.
Inotherwords,tryinconversationtobemoreyoufocused.
46
Thisisntnewadvice.Peoplehaveprobablysuggestedyoufocusedcommunicationsincethe
daysofthecaveman,toavoidconversationslikethis:
CaveMan1:SothereIwas,runningformylifefromthiswoollymammoth
CaveMan2:Hey,Ijustdrewawoollymammothonourcavewalllastnight.
CaveMan1:Pleasedontinterruptme.
Butmostpeoplestillcommunicatewithamefocusedapproach,andtheyoftenboreor
otherwiseturnofftheirlisteners.
Thiscreatesanopportunityforyoutoshine.Ifyoureyoufocusedwhenspeakingwithpeople,
theyllnotice,theyllappreciateit,andtheyllseeyouasagreatcommunicator.
47
Tip 44
Avoidclichsliketheplague
Inarecentconversationwithmywife,Isaidsomeonewastryingtopulltherugoveroureyes.
Wool,shesaid.
Ihadnoideawhatshewastalkingabout.What?
Wool.Itspullthewooloveryoureyesandpulltherugoutfromunderyou.Mywife,
laughingatthispoint,continued:Howwouldsomeonepullarugoveryoureyes,anyway,
unlesstheyweretalkingtoyouwhileyouwerelyingonthefloor?
Oh.Goodpoint.Goodthingwewerealone.
Thisisjustoneofseveralreasonsnottouseclichs.Ifyouusethemincorrectly,theycan
distractyourreaderorlistenerfromwhatyouretryingtosay.Mywifemissedmypointbecause
shewastoobusyrollingonthefloorlaughingwhere,ironically,someoneactuallycouldhave
pulledarugoverhereyes.
Anotherreasonnottospeakinclichsisthattheyrenotyourwords.Yourlistenerwantsto
hearyou.Whenyoudropinaclichdphrase,yourlistenergoesfrombeingcarriedalongby
youruniqueideastosuddenlyhearingsomecenturiesoldthoughtforthethousandthtime.
Itsasthoughyouvetemporarilylefttheconversationandtoldyourlistener,Here,talktomy
GreatAuntMelba.
48
Theresonemorereasontostayawayfromclichs:theyreconversationkillers.
Imagine:youandafriendarehavinganicetalk,andyourfriendsays,Well,thatsthewaythe
ballbounces,orcookiecrumbles,orwhatever.Whatslefttosay?Yourfriendchosetouse
someoneelsesoverusedphraseratherthansaysomethingoriginal.Clearly,yourfriendhas
givenuponthistalk.Thisishowclichsendconversations.Youdontwanttobetheonewho
steersanicechatintoawall.
Youareunique,withauniquelifeanduniqueinsightsgleanedfromthatlife.Thepeopleyou
speakwithwanttohearwhatyouhavetosay,whatnooneelsecansayquitethewayyoucan.
Soavoidclichsliketheplague.Fightthemwitheveryfiberofyourbeing.Donttouchthem
witha10footpole.
49
Tip 45
Watchyourspeakingspeed
Evernoticehowdifficultitcanbetokeepyourmindfromwanderingwhensomeoneistalking
toyou?Theresagoodreason.
Whiletheaveragepersonspeaksat150wordsperminute,hecanlistenatover600wordsper
minute.Soitsunderstandablethatwehaveahardtimefocusingwhenotherpeopletalk.
Youcanusethisknowledgetoyouradvantagewhenyoureengagedinconversation.Bemindful
ofthepaceatwhichyouretalking.Ifyouspeaktooslowly,yourlistenermightstartthinking,
Milk,diapers,airfreshener,oranges.
Atthesametime,ifyoutalksoquicklythatyourlistenercantunderstandyourwordsorfollow
yourtrainofthought,theymightfindthemselvesgivingupandthinking,Milk,diapers.
Findatalkingpacethatscomfortableforyouandthatisntsofastyourlistenercantfollow,
orsoslowyourlistenerlosesinterest.Tryvariousspeakingspeeds.Askatrustedfriendor
colleaguefortheiropiniononwhatworksandwhatdoesnt.Theyreamongthepeoplewho
havetolistentoyou,afterall,soitsintheirbestinteresttobecandidaboutit.
50
Tip 46
Dontfinishtheotherpersonsthought
Havingjustmadethepointthatpeoplecanhearandprocesswordsfourtimesfasterthanthey
canspeak,Ishouldnowpointoutthatoneofthemostannoyingbehaviorsinconversationis
jumpingintoanotherpersonspausetofinishtheirthought.
Ifyouwanttobeknownasagreatconversationalist,youllnevereverdothis.
Whenyoureinaconversationandtheotherpersonpausestothinkofawordorphrase,let
themfinish.Nomatterhowlongittakes.Letthemfinish.Really,letthemfinish.
Theonlyexceptiontothisruleisiftheotherpersonactuallyasksyouforhelpremembering
whatevertheycant.Untilthen,wait.
Whenyoujumpinandfinishtheirthought,youresendingasignaltotheotherpersonthat
yourelosingpatience.Youllalsomakeyourfellowconversationalistuneasyfortherestofthe
discussionafraidofannoyingyouagainbytalkingtooslowlyorpausingfortoolong.
Bycontrast,whenyourepatientandallowtheotherpersonaslongastheyneedtocomplete
theirpoint,theotherpersonwillcomeawayfromyourtalkhavingenjoyeditmuchmore.And
theyremuchmorelikelytofindyouagreatconversationalist.
Andifthepauseisreallylongandnothingelseworks,bitetheinsideofyourlip.
51
Tip 47
Usepreciselanguage
DuringaliveTVreport,acablenewscorrespondentsaidthatacertaincandidateintheIllinois
Senateracehasatonofsupportfromhisparty.
Interesting.Ididntrealizewecouldmeasurepoliticalsupportbythepound.
Youveprobablyheardsimilarstatementsandseentheminwritingmanytimes.Someone
writesaboutusingeveryounceofmyenergyoraboutapersontryingsomethingwithouta
dropofexperience.Dontdothis.
Phrasesliketheseunderminethepowerandeventhecredibilityofyourwords.Thatsbecause
theyrenotprecise.Mostlistenerswontevenbeawareofitconsciously,butwhentheyhear
thesestatementstheylosealittlerespectforthespeaker.
Wedontmeasureexperiencewithateaspoon.Sowhenyousayapersondidnthaveadropof
experience,youdistractyourlistenerfromyourpointevenifforonlyananosecond.You
wantyourlistenerabsorbingandbeingpersuadedbytheforceofyourarguments,notfocusing
onyourchoiceofwords.
Sobeprecise.Itsonewaytoensureyourwordsreceivealotofsupport(ratherthanaton).
52
Tip 48
Acceptacompliment
Oh,Imnottheonewhodeservesthecredit.Thisoldthing?
Isitsodifficulttosay,Thankyou?
Ipreferthephraseofferacompliment,ratherthanthemorecommonpayacompliment.
Thewordoffersuggestswhatsreallygoingonacomplimentrepresentsaverbalgiftsomeone
istryingtogiveyou.Begraciousenoughtoacceptit.
Rejectingacomplimentis,frankly,rude.Doesntmatterwhatyourreasonasenseofmodesty,
discomfortwithbeingthecenterofattention,whatever.Itputsthepersonofferingittoyouin
anuncomfortableposition.Anditmakesthemfeelbad.Whywouldyouwanttodothat?
Justsaythankyou.Itgoesalongway.
53
Tip 49
Dontusefillerwords
Youknow,whenyoutalk,sometimesthenextpointyouwantto,um,make,youknow,doesnt
likecometoyou,uh,rightaway.So,um,Imean,youknow,well,youvegottousesomefiller
words.
Readytostrangleme?
Inconversation,silenceisavaluabletool.Aspeakercanuseawellplacedsecondofsilenceto
makehispointsmorepowerfully.Itcangivethelistenerachancetodigestthelastpointand
readyherselftofullyfocusonthenextone.
Butevenincaseswhereyourenottryingtounderscoreapointoradddramaticflair,silenceis
betterthanallthosefillerwordsIusedinthatfirstparagraphabove.
Ifyouneedafractionofasecondtocomeupwithyournextword,takeit,quietly.Dontadda
seriesofumsanduhsandlikesandyouknowstofilltheair.
Now,chancesareyoudontevenknowyouredoingthis.Sofindout.Askatrustedfriendor
colleague.Makeatapeofyourselfspeaking.Whenyoureinconversations,payattentionto
whetheryouusefillerwordslikethisand,ifyoudo,makeaconsciousefforttostop.
Yourlistenerwillthankyou.
54
Afewtipsfordeliveringbadnews
Tip 50
Statebadnewscandidly
InagreatTVmoment,acaptainonNYPDBlueconfessestohisdetectives,afterbattlingwith
them,Imadeabadcall.Youguysbailedmeout.Thankyou.Whenthecaptainwalksaway,
oneofthedetectives,leadcharacterAndySipowicz,says,Thisguysshowsmesomething.
ThatsaboutasclosetoacomplimentasthenastySipowiczcharacteroffersanyonein200
episodesoftheseries.Andhowdidthecaptainearnsuchhighpraise?Simple:headmitteda
mistakehumbly,candidly,withoutexcuses.
Whenyoudeliverbadnewsopenlyandcandidlyespeciallywhentakingresponsibilityforan
erroryoudisarmyourlisteners.Theyllstillbeupsetwiththemessage,butbybeingcandid
youcanreduceyourrecipientsangertowardyouasthemessenger.
Itshardtobeangrywithsomeonewhohonestlyownsuptoamistake.
Plus,candidlydeliveringbadnewsoranapologycanactuallyraiseyourcredibilityandincrease
therecipientsrespectforyou.
55
Tip 51
Statebadnewsclearly
Afewmonthsago,asoftwarefirmImfamiliarwithrealizedtheywerentgoingtomeeta
deadlinetheyhadpromisedtotheirbiggestclient.
TheCEO,terrifiedofupsettingtheclient,wrotethemanemailtotrytoexplain.Buthewrote
suchaconfusingandjargonfilledmessagethattheclientreaditandthoughtthesoftwarefirm
wouldmeetthedeadline.
Sothecompanyhadtodeliverthebadnewsalloveragain,andtheclientwasfarangrierthe
secondtimebecausetheybelievedtheoriginalemailwasusedtomisleadthem.
Theresnopointmuddyingyourbadnewsmessagewithunclearlanguage.Youcanthidefrom
theinformationyouredelivering.Respectyourreaderandjuststateitplainly.
56
Tip 52
Showempathy
Imagineadepartmentheadgatheringtheirteamtogetherandannouncing,Ourproject
proposalwasdenied.
Ouch.Wouldntyoulovetoworkwiththisperson?
Hearingabadnewsmessagethatcontainsnoempathyonlycompoundsyourlisteners
frustration.
Bytakingjustanextraminutetoconsiderhowyourbadnewswillaffectthepeopleyoure
deliveritto,andexplainingitfromaplaceofempathy,youcantakesomeofthestingoutofthe
message.Imaginegatheringyourteaminaroomandtellingthem:
Youveallshownrealdedicationtoournewprojectproposal.SoIwishIdidnthaveto
deliverthisnewstheinitiativehasbeendenied.
Iwanttotelleachofyouthatyourhardworkthroughouttheprocessshowedmehow
seriouslyyoutookthisinitiative,andyoushouldbeproudoftheworkyouhavedone.
Demonstratetoyourbadnewsrecipientsthatyouunderstandhowthenewswillaffectthem
andthatyouwishtheydidnthavetoreceiveit.
57
Tip 53
Endwithsomethingpositive
Agoodruletorememberwhendeliveringbadnewsisthis:Ifyouhavebadnewsandgood
news,givethebadfirst.Thatwayyoucanendonapositivenote.
Anothergoodrule:Ifyoucan,startandendabadnewsmessagewithsomethingpositive.
Noticethatintheprevioustip,ShowEmpathy,Iactuallysandwichedthebadnewsproposal
deniedbetweentwopositivemessages.Istartedandendedwithacomplimentaboutthe
teamsimpressivework.
Butevenifyoucantfindawaytostartthemessagepositively,youshouldatleastenditwith
somethingpositive.
Imafraidthat,duetodepartmentwidebudgetcuts,wecantissueanyraisesthisyear.
Pleaseknowthatthisisinnowayacommentaryonyourperformance.Ipromisetodo
everythinginmypowertoensurethatnextyearyoureceivetheadditional
compensationyoudeserve.
58
BECOMEAMASTERLISTENER
Tip 54
Listenwithempathy
Thekeytobecomingamasterlisteneristolistenempathically.
Unliketheothertwotypesoflistenerstheindifferentlistener(hesignoringyou)andthepart
timelistener(shestryingtolistenbutgetsdistractedeasily)theempathiclistenerissomeone
peoplelike,respectandwanttospendtimewith.Why?
Becausetheempathiclisteneralwayspayscloseattentiontoallaspectsofthespeakers
messagewords,toneofvoice,bodylanguage.Indoingso,theempathiclistenersendsa
constantstreamofsignalsthatshesinterestedinwhatthespeakerissaying.
Andisntitwonderfulwhenyouretalkingtosomeonetofeelasthoughthatpersonistruly
listening!
Listenwithempathy.Learningtodosoisahugesteptowardbecomingamastercommunicator.
59
Tip 55
Showinterestwithbodylanguage
Staringattheotherpersonwhilehetalksisnotenoughtoshowyoureengagedinthe
conversation.Makeeyecontact,nodappropriately,anduseinterestedlistenerphraseslike,
Right,Iagree,or,Really?
Tip 56
Summarize
Statethemainthrustofthespeakersstatements.So,youthinkyouvegottocallhimbackand
tryagain.
Thisisyetanotherwaytoreinforcetoyourspeakerthatyouvebeenpayingattention,andat
thesametimeitstrengthensyourownunderstandingandmemoryoftheconversation.
Tip 57
Interpret
Offeryourowntakeonwhatthespeakerhassaid.Thisisreallybotheringyou,isntit?
Youllshowyouveheardnotonlythespeakerswordsbutalsoherthoughtsandfeelings.
Thisistheessenceofempathiclistening,anditcanreallyhelpyouconnectwithsomeoneand
enhancetheconversation.
60
Tip 58
Fightoffcompetingthoughts
Remember,forsomestrangereasonwerephysiologicallypredisposedtohaveourminds
wanderwhensomeoneelseistalkingbecausewecanlistenandgetthegistofthepoint
theyremakingsomuchfasterthantheycanactuallyspeakthewords.
Tobeagreatconversationalist,though,youneedtobecompletelypresentinthemoment
whenyourfellowconversationalististalking.Thatmeanslisteningempathicallyandblocking
outthecompetingthoughtsthatwilloftencreepintoyourmind(milk,diapers).
Howcanyoudothis?Twosuggestions:
1. Changeyourphysicalposition.Youveprobablynoticedthatsometimesinmeetings
yourminddriftsandyoulosetrackofthediscussion.(Madefarworseifsomeoneasks
youyouropinion!)Ifyoureleaningbackandnoticeyourmindwandering,leanforward.
Shakethingsupphysicallyandyoullbebroughtbacktothepresentmomentmentally.
2. Askaclarifyingquestion.Ifyoustartlosingtrackofthediscussion,askthepersona
questionthatbringsyoubackintothefold,like,Canyouexplainthatalittlefurther?
Peoplewillnaturallyrepeatalotofthattheyoriginallysaid,andyoullgetcaughtup.
61
Tip 59
Dontforgettheirnames!
Thisisoneofthemostdifficultinterpersonalskillsformostpeopletodevelop,especiallyin
businessbecausewemeetnewpeoplesooften.
Andthesimpleskillofrememberinganacquaintancesoracolleaguesnamecandramatically
increaseyourprofessionalreputation.
Youstoreavastamountofinformationinyourmind:phonenumbers,addresses,birthdays,
ATMcodes.Soyoucanstoreasinglenameforafewseconds.Andyet,whenyoureintroduced
toanewperson,youforgettheirnamealmostimmediately.
Whatsprobablyhappeningis:Yourenotlistening.Asyougotoshakethepersonshand,youre
noticinghisshirt,thinkingofwhattosaynextandyouneveractuallyhearaname.
Howtoremembertheirnames,everytime:
1. Whenyoureintroducedtosomeone,shutoutallthoughtsandlistenforthename.
2. Next,makeapointofrepeatingitoutloudimmediately.Youllhear,ImJoseph,and
asyoushakehands,say,Nicetomeetyou,Joseph.
3. Finally,takeasecondtoconcentratefullyonthepersonsface,andthink,Joseph.
Youllneverforgetitagain.
62

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