The Empath
Chapter 1
Gloria Steinem
bed?
that he couldn’t shake and that had made him toss and
had felt that some terrible news was coming today. His
about to go down.
for them to somehow get back on their feet and right the
them.
Kim sat with her eyes staring straight ahead and her
enough.
protect the child. He was sure her story was true, having
likely the case. He dialed the police and began the very
fact that he was now well into his 30’s, he drifted further
under the covers and saw that she was fully clothed. A
Still, they talked and laughed for the next hour over
had no idea.
Chapter 2
empathy. My whole life I’ve felt like this but I’m not
sure I’ve ever met another one. Until now that is.”
He took a long pause and took this woman in. Who the
“I’m not sure why you’re dropping the y off of the term
And with that she threw a ten dollar bill on the table
“I’m sure you will,” she said as she whirled out of the
others.
life.”
therapist.
up.
lair. She had great reverence for Dr. Paul and the work
he did, and her use of the term doctor without his name
Chapter 3
he could muster.
yellowing papers and old books from the 60’s and 70’s.
chase.
“Jesus you don’t fuck around, Ok, here’s the thing. I met
this woman the other day, and I haven’t been able to get
different than any girl I’ve ever met. She had a hyper-
thing?”
serious eyes. They knew each other well, and John knew
the two of them, as John had often question the idea that
did as well.
longer bear this pain, but also not bear the thought of
exceptional.”
generation.
usually a sure sign that he had been out too late the night
before, and sizing him up, John figured he may very well
slowly out of his mind, Dr. Paul once again took notice
smile.
19
young patient had been sitting and waiting for him in the
waiting room.
dealt with more than his share of sexual abuse cases, and
practice.
always wondered if this was the right field for you, and
20
How do you live with it? That’s why I’m here. I’m
“Which is?”
would point you and lead you and encourage you, but he
her at a bar and gotten only her first name. What was so
ordered a beer.
23
Chapter 4
had told him half of her life story, and was on the verge
trying not to think about what Dr. Paul had said about
going through.
He left the bar after leaving a big tip and giving the
John thought a lot about the women in his life, and how
Sure they had had their problems growing up, but now
really.
loveless reality for himself. It was the one area of his life
one of hope.
with the issue of Kim, his young patient who had been
emotionally.
from giving Kim his full attention which he was sure she
John that Kim had thus far been very unresponsive to her
29
there with her arms folded, and once again felt a sharp
trauma.
talk to you and see if you could tell me a little a bit about
She looked up and noticed him for the first time since
“I know a place that has ice cream right down the street,
her father was doing was not alright. He new a large part
try and help her through this. He didn’t want to ruin the
clear .
have sex with each other, it’s the law. I know it must be
weird for you to have to leave your house and have all
between you and your dad. None of this was your fault
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Chapter 5
still didn’t know what he wanted, and until she did, she
mind.
“The thing was,” she went on. “Other kids were starting
“It seems like a part of you might not have been ready to
“Well I never fit in with al the other kids, you know that.
have sex made me feel like there was something just for
have yet.”
36
have that the other kids don’t have yet. For one thing
talk, and maybe one day we can figure some more of this
out,”
girl, that he could barely contain his own tears, and soon
for her to see that he was also vulnerable to. His words
true, and it was his default mode not just with children,
think this was a good idea. She wanted to feel safe very
badly, that was clear, but she had also embedded the idea
how I feel and that I could talk to her about anything that
I wanted.”
John felt a sharp pain as she said this and then thought
but more like a murmur in his heart that made him feel
short of breath.
alone.”
39
Chapter 6
healing.
tossed and turned for a week now and once again felt
His first move the next day was to call Dr. Paul,
annoyed receptionist.
with a laugh.
41
in disappointment.
difficult road. His first wife had been the great love of
When she had died his life was thrown into a tailspin he
time.
intertwined; what made you use that word and what are
self-absorbed.
very much to help Kim in any way I can, but I can’t help
Kim.”
44
word, just one, that you think of when you hear the word
answer.”
Chapter 7
get to know her better and hoped this phone call was
problems, that was the easy part. The tough part was
understanding.
was the character that rang the truest for him. He gave
felt the same way about therapy, but had a much more
the list were Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers, who had
in a session.
and john had read the book several times. The rub of the
its core was a future-oriented fear. That was the tack that
Chapter 8
got to five the feel good chemicals took over and John
very busy bar. The John that was out at two in the
His last stop of the night was at a dingy little jazz place
some cool music and put this day into the books. He was
wrong.
was sure. He felt something very sharp hit his side, and
54
reply.
“Uh yea, you too buddy, that’s why I asked to come in,
today.”
walk away.
56
asked
said sharply.
Chapter 9
talk about difficult things, and didn’t let himself off the
hook so easily.
turned out she did in fact want to talk. Her name was
Kristin and she had recently lost her father. She had been
drinking a lot, staying out late, and had been with a lot
people and to forget for a while the pain that came from
58
issues with.
the hell that really meant, but clearly that didn’t solve
Chapter 10
him that a therapist’s best tool was his own feelings and
stories to.
describe them.
day, but this wasn’t the case with John. What if he was
and suffering day after day and not have it take a toll, it
and how he had always felt things very deeply but also
kid and they had gone to the river for the day for a
rock near the river, and then was hit with an amazing
John like hours. That was the first time John had felt it.
life, pain, and loss. He could feel that the boy on the rock
But it was too late. The boy hurled himself into the
boy flail in the water, and literally lost his own breath
into the water to try and help him. The boy eventually
but John knew the boy would never be the same again.
about this incident that seemed to propel him into the life
Chapter 11
Rev. DebraRae
of notoriety as an author.
power.
Where had this left him? Alone, for one, although this
didn’t think this was how people were meant to live, and
him consider how this idea had impacted his own life.
Chapter 12
him up, she began to laugh along with him, and soon the
schoolgirls.
asked suspiciously.
73
they all began to laugh, and John was very glad to see he
originally feared.
in the ass, but seeing as how you made nice with my girl
out there, I’m gonna cut you a little slack,” Dr. Paul said
with a smile.
“Um, John when I told you to find the girl, that wasn’t
transformation?”
74
quite sure you stole it from someone else, but the point
your books, you always know just the right thing to say,
pal, and you know goddamn well I’m not gonna tell you
Chapter 13
right now.
investment.
Love and pain, love and pain, he couldn’t get this phrase
Chapter 14
about fear, but now for the first time he thought about it
heart’s “destiny?”
John thought about this for most of the day, and for
increase his love of the larger world? Were the two not
rejected that idea for most of his life, believing that the
subject.
John
83
empath may also play into this, but was also very careful
what the actual science of this may be, and if there was
before, and had observed how their brains did not seem
to have to sneak into the Apple fields and eat this fruit
how upset his grandfather had been that his wife had fed
would recede into the distance and let him get some
sleep.
come back. This phrase now popped into his head. What
will find the strength is there. Any disaster that you can
flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see
life you have now. You'll see that this is really true.
Chapter 15
sure of it. He was going to see Kim today, and that was
on the horizon.
he barely knew her. Even still, his feelings for her were
strong.
knew that Kim has been badly damaged, but it was his
“So you seem happy today Kim and it’s sure nice to see
“Well the thing is, I met this boy. He’s 14 and he’s really
for this second but resisted the urge to pump Kim for
know.
91
“Kim tell me about this boy. How did you meet him?”
“Yea, I could see why you’d feel like that. I just hope
promise.”
Chapter 16
scared.
lot more tests were needed, but it looked like John would
finally arrived.
important.
was up, and the phrase “pending doom” that was in his
finishing his calls, John fell into a very deep sleep. His
directly into the home, and before John could get out of
Strange bedfellows.
98
Chapter 17
“Must have been quite a dream John,” Dr. Paul said with
a laugh.
you, but, how in the world did you know I was here?”
since she started school with us, and she was very
explained.
John looked over at Dr. Paul and saw the slightest bit of
“I’m gonna let you guys talk for a minute John,” Dr.
And with that Dr. Paul made his exit, leaving John
in her presence.
“Did he say that? I’m not totally sure I would call him
of loss.”
“He lost the great love of his life about 10 years ago, and
way to do it. Man, I don’t know why I’m telling you all
Chapter 18
to make up for all of the time they had wasted over the
into John’s bed and laid beside him. It was one of the
and held each other until it finally came time for her to
come to an end.
“So what happens next?” John said as she got her things
together.
his reply.
103
his facial expressions over the years, and knew that his
your life when your body gets old and gets sick. For the
fear here, but this woman just feels right to me. I know
I’ve said that before, and maybe this feeling could fade,
heavy breath.
be going. Really think about it. What could trip you up?
therapy for a while when I’m trying to figure all this out.
Chapter 19
slipping away.
goals.
taken the time to see how this worked in his own life. It
spent his time until then was what really counted. She
was not amused, and was asking the question with all
Chapter 20
He called for a cab and thought about this all the way
think she could just drop everything in her life for him.
felt she knew how strongly he felt for her. Still, he had
113
met her at a bar the first time they met and they had
are destined to live this same life over and over again,
you the other day, and honestly it scared the shit out of
felt for her a great deal, having been down the same road
Chapter 21
looked at John and then grabbed him and pulled him into
“Um, Stephanie, it’s not that I’m not happy to see you,
“Ok, ok, here you go,” he said, twisting the bottle lose
and pouring her a small glass. “But could you at least let
felt for her, and as she spoke, it dawned on him that she
red flag to him, but a big part of him was able to look at
her and visualize sitting together when they were 80. But
her face. “I hope I’m still making love with you when
Chapter 22
a wonderful memory.
slowly, and then she set the trey down and crawled into
change.
124
“I spoke with her on the phone the other day and she
of dad.”
125
acting like a dad the other day when she was telling me
lot as well. You see kids that are so tough on the outside
sex was the only way that she could get love from a
“And John”
“Yeah?”
“I’m in this for the long haul if that eases your mind a
little.”
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Chapter 23
together was quite a site for her, and as she walked over
to the car to get in, she couldn’t help but tease them a
little.
couldn’t help but notice that the way she called him
lost on him.
empath as well?
driver.”
women’s stuff.”
but also felt glad that Stephanie was also here to answer
want to talk about that are just between us, that still
131
that’s O.k. too. Just know that we both care about you
And with that John took his cue and hobbled over to
together, and for perhaps the first time in his life didn’t
up arm and arm to see how he was doing. They hit him
was still Kim’s therapist, and that they had a great deal
Chapter 24
therapist for years, but was just now starting to see how
about, but for now he was very much trying to trust and
134
As they rode home, John reached over and put his arm
and kind she was with Kim endeared her to him even
our own without falling down half the time. It’s a fair
each other, but the more I think about it the more I think
“Uh I’d have to plead the fifth on that one, but my guess
was ready to sleep with you that first night. Then you
after you left I had this song stuck in my head all day. It
whole life I’ve loved that song. It’s about a guy who has
She pulled the car over to the side of the road, and
reached over and pulled John into her arms and they
began to rain.
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Chapter 25
laughing and holding each other, and John could feel the
worry and concern his patients had felt for him when he
had with Dr. Paul about how feeling a deep sense of love
beings.
therapy, and for the first time felt a shift in the way he
effectiveness as a therapist.
she was 17, and had talked often about how she would
never experience anything like the love she felt for him
that it was possible you will find love again and that you
can and will have all kinds of new experiences. But you
what you were saying all these months. Daryl was your
life, and all of your love was invested in him. I’m sorry
better listener.”
over this time we’ve known each other. You’ve been the
to you.
“What is it?”
Chapter 26
bit more worn out than usual, and figured it was in part
because it was his first day back after his wreck. There
of himself that had been sealed shut for most of his life.
his office.
guess what I’m saying is that for all of the shit I give
myself.”
one of the first things you ever said to me was that one
when Dr. Paul began regaling him with stories about his
ride home couldn’t shake the feeling that Dr. Paul was in
Chapter 27
crosses alone.
150
as comforted him.
Paul was not the kind of man to ask for help, but also
people you love when they are trying to push you away.
you courage.” John felt like for the first time in his
had taken Fridays off to sit and drink his wine and
the truth.
would ask what the hell you are doing here, but I
bitch.”
doctors are not quite sure how much longer I’ve got.
Chapter 28
beautiful woman.
and told him she was sorry about Dr. Paul. He was
quite familiar with the process, and assured John that she
bar at the front of the room, where the patrons could sit
right at the piano and sing along with the songs with all
quite some time singing along with all of the music from
again.
Please enjoy.”
the first record she had ever purchased. More and more
it felt like they had been waiting for each other their
whole lives.
other’s arms.
very alone, and stopping at the bar car to ease his pain
pushed the button to get off at the next stop, but it was to
Chapter 29
his mother had called him the next morning and told him
his father had died during the night. It was the most
dreams.
about.
personal responsibility for his life and find his own way.
frustrating.
Walker, who told him Kim had been in her room the
entire day and was refusing to come out even for meals.
happened.
just chat for a minute, and we can even get out of here if
you?”
over and pulled her into a hug as she began to cry, softly
Chapter 30
the way she told him that one of her younger foster
brothers had tried to pull her shirt off as she was lying
was not like she hadn’t done this before. John became
he couldn’t get the idea out of his head that life was
meet him for dinner that evening, as he felt that she was
to figure out.
could sit and talk for hours. He had spent many nights
only saw her at certain points during the week, she also
liked the new ones that they did later on. All day this
from the new series and it was called Little Boy Lost. It
was about this woman who keeps running into this little
crossroads in her life, and we later find out that this little
my little girl lost, and if I don’t save her now, than she is
when I was Kim’s age for the first time, and in a strange
John was taken aback by her speech, but also felt like
she has just said out loud something that had been
right now, he also felt like he had been preparing for this
so sorry that you were hurt when you were a little girl,”
make you a promise right now. I will help you take care
Chapter 31
proposition.
the paintings had been taken down off the wall. There
a glass of Ccotch.”
back. “But Jesus let me have a minute to take this all in.
kid.”
wise old owl shit with me. Just sit down and relax for a
are you feeling right now? I’ve got 30 more years of this
Your tenure here has sure as shit been worth it for me.”
but I think I’m just gonna take that for what it’s worth.
went. I saw that guy for a year, and didn’t feel like he
predicted this outcome for him, but yet here was this
heart and mind for years. I guess I just wasn’t ready for
tears.
for Paul, but for tonight was content to let him take the
intuition was telling him this might be the last time they
Chapter 32
you in.”
180
me, but maybe you can tell me what you’re doing here.
Not that I’m not glad to see you. I am. It just all sounded
dream for years about the farm, but I’ve never really
181
“Well John I hope you find what you’re looking for,” his
“Well I’m happy for you John,” she replied with a sad
that I was never able to show you how to go about it. I’m
Chapter 33
hadn’t been to this farm since the age of 13, and his
sample some of the state’s best wines and laugh and talk
again.
roads in the area, and finding the right one was really
nothing.
There in the back was the old trailer where his great-
“Used to live here when? I’m almost 13, and I’ve lived
spend the summer here the days felt like they lasted
spiral back at the boy, and laughed when it flew ten feet
country out here. Tell them how much you love it out
190
book.
wider.
your books over the years. Come in,” she said as she
wanted to come back here and see this place again and
little? I’d love to see the old barn and the corn fields and
all of it.
193
love for the place that he did. They spent the afternoon
to the top and took it all in. For miles there was nothing
quiet it all felt to him, just like it had when he was a kid.
You can’t go home again. John knew that, but all the
Chapter 34
bought the farm to get away from all of the hustle and
bustle of living in the big city. Now years later Sara had
country.
strange curiosity.
married woman did you know that dad was never going
know.”
don’t know?”
dad John, after all you barely knew him. He had a very
have a lot of his spirit, but you also have a lot more. I
guess the best advice I can give you is no not settle for
the idea that some flaw you have is just the way you are.
get stuck where you are standing for the rest of your life.
197
so close.”
the house, and also felt a little sad he had missed out on
wine and sat and talked. Being around her and retracing
some of his old steps had been not only very comforting,
198
such a nice break from the noise of Chicago, and they sat
shocked to find that they were fans of his work and new
a few minutes and were off, and John laughed out loud
hometown.
hear.
200
Chapter 35
this peace.
off, and they talked for the next half hour on the air
father.
knew your dad pretty well John, and he was the same
of what the caller had said regarding his own life. Self
and the caller had reminded John that some of this self
for a drink, and she was more than happy to oblige. They
arrived, and she had a few choice words for him about
they leave, but John had other ideas. A couple of his old
evening.
for the small crowd that had joined he and his friends,
again.
Chapter 36
way back for not being there, and waited till he got home
plane reservations.
John did his best to explain where he was when she had
consequences.
best to assure her that her presence in his life was the
feel close to her, as she was the only thing in his life that
his father, but for John, Dr. Paul did so much more for
him than his own father, that he knew the effects of this
him.
Chapter 37
knew, and anyone that had actually known Dr. Paul had
Paul and I spoke often at the end of his life, and one
patients, love for our jobs, love for our partners, and
that’s the kind of man Paul was. I hope I can honor his
214
for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found
the legend.
and hate and sorrow and grief and despair and the
the way it’s always been since I was that cocky kid
Chapter 38
him about starting therapy with him now that Paul had
place that let him feel close to his old mentor by himself.
that he had to deal with. Paul was the man he had always
work though.
of the ways his old mentor had touched his life. The jazz
has helped him lose time and get utterly lost in his
Chicago.
about his meeting with Dr. Paul a while back when they
afternoon.
He had met her only once over the years, and knew she
house and saw the big suitcase sitting there in the middle
that night. John was relieved to find that she was happy
vigilant and resist the urge to push her away from her
tendency to do this.
mind. His trip home, as well his night in the bar the night
222
sense of guilt for not having been there. After they had
and I was the only family he really had. What you may
left to you. His house, his practice, and a large part of his
fine with it. You were truly like a son to him and I can
had also given him a letter to read from her brother, but
Chapter 39
and as he made his way into the parking lot at the Cook
#16509.
for him. This was the man who had forever stolen a little
don’t mind I’d like to talk about Kim and her future. I
227
composure.
228
do with the time I have left. One of the things that has
doc?”
“Well Tom, I’ll tell you, that makes me feel a little dirty,
care of your daughter and keep her safe from the bad
daughter.”
John knew this pattern, and could see from the look on
least some part of him that understood that this was the
see that. I’m glad you are talking to a doctor about all of
this place, I’m asking you to trust me that this is the right
thing. I’ll pay the money you ask to help you out, that I
Chapter 40
began to read;
Dear John,
get the fuck over it. If I have taught you anything, you
out of your head that easily. I’m going to haunt you for a
while.
alone for quite some time now and over the last decade
with you and seeing the changes you are making in your
me proud,
Paul.
that the external changes were easy. The hard part came
to fade.
of feelings.
Dr. Paul meant hen her talked about being with the
very new to him, and also the thing he loved about being
night talking about Dr. Paul, Kim, and all of the things
Chapter 41
possible.
“Hey, nice to see you honey. Sorry I’ve been away for a
while.”
actually means.”
and tell you that I meant every word of what I have said
happy life, and lately I’ve been getting this really strong
this, and one of the things that will happen is that he will
you mean when you say legal guardian. Does that mean
“Well Kim, I can’t say anything about your dad for sure
be pleased.
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Chapter 42
years before.
loved the farm a great deal, his wife had continued to put
on the phone, and John felt a little sad for Don and the
country.
his adult life. One of the things that struck him most
her. I
traveling to see the farm, and that was what John had
about taking them all out there for a visit to see the farm
airplane for the first time. She had never been more than
her.
asked.
while. It’s been a long winter for all of us, and I thought
and on TV, but I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance,”
she replied.
“Well, I for one would love to see all of the places that
of them.
248
things she could use in her art. They sat there for some
they wanted to do. John reached into his coat pocket and
him feel. It was the first time since he was a child that
Chapter 43
something that was right for all of us. I know all of our
“John you always know just the right thing to say, and
respond,” she said. “No man has ever said the things you
scares me. I feel all those same things for you, and feel
been missing my entire life, and now for the first time in
pocket and felt for this,” John said as he handed her the
letter he had kept from Dr. Paul. “It’s the last thing Paul
exactly what you just talked about. The thing that I want
same place. You and Paul and Kim have all provided me
a little scared about how much loving you gives you the
late and hanging out with strange women when you were
the same.”
The falling in love is the easy part for most people, but
to learn about what love really is, and that in this regard
always been the best student, and I’ll be the first one to
know that I will try and listen more and talk less, as we
reached up and touched his face and stared into his eyes,
took him by the hand and led her towards her bedroom.
Chapter 44