My New Journey

Part 1 Oct. 2015

I heard somewhere, a long time ago that 1 in 5 will

be affected by cancer in their lifetime. I always
found this statistic to be both incredible and
frightening; not that I obsessed
about it but I would often find myself standing in a
room, realize there were 5 of us and think, which
one of us? Kind of an emotional Russian Roulette if
you will, but I always quickly shoved THAT thought
under the rug. Gatherings are about fun not
statistics.
Welp, that darn statistic nabbed me. I am writing to
you all to not only keep you in the loop but also to
raise our awareness. Our genetics, with our family
history is something to pay special attention to
with early screenings. There is a history of Polyps
on my moms side and so much cancer and
autoimmune disease on my Dad's side.
Last week I was diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer.

Let's back up (no pun, no pun at all here). I have a

great GP who is very proactive. He's the most
decorated GP in Southern California. He has
encouraged me to get a colonoscopy since I turned
50. Seven years ago. I procrastinated. Why? I'm a
big fan of eating, I'm busy, I get nauseous when I'm
even late for a meal. I snack on almonds and dried
fruit to ward off hunger, I hate sugary drinks which
I thought I'd have to drink, I get HANGRY. I did NOT
want to go 24 hours without food. I did, though get
my bloodwork done each year and because my Dr.
always sent an at home fecal test, I obediently
completed those. All good. All clear each time.
Finally, this year though Dr. Alamshaw (my GP)
said, "OK Brenda, no more procrastination, you
must get your colonoscopy this year." He has only
retained a selective few patients as he was
promoted to head of all patient care. He is an avid
cyclist, supports The Roger Milikin Race and has
become like family, following Collins cycling
career. I didn't want to lose him by not behaving as
a good patient. I agreed to get one after I returned
from my trip to Richmond in September or... maybe
October...November. I also sent in my annual fecal
test. Four days later, the day before I was to leave
for Richmond I got a call that there was occult
blood in my sample. Was my Dr. tricking me to
make sure I came in? Nah a Dr. can't and would

never do that. Now my colonoscopy was

mandatory. So I scheduled for 10/8th after I
returned. Had I had symptoms? Well, yes, I had,
but only in the last 6 to 8 weeks. A change in bowel
movements, shape content etc. I had not really
seen blood, not that I was sure of because I drink
beet juice sometimes. I've actually been proud of
my healthy poop; on time, swift and nicely
formed!! I'm a good, balanced meals, lots of
vegetables, plenty of proper fiber kind of eater. So I
was concerned that there was a recent change
without my diet having changed. Gross, I know, but
sometimes it's good to share.
So October 8th, the colonoscopy (by the way, a
liquid diet and prep was so tolerable that I was
shocked) was performed and after the procedure I
was immediately told there was a large mass.
Approximately 8 cm into the rectum traveling just
barely to the colon. I will need chemo, radiation
and surgery. All this news even before the
pathology report. Dave was not a fan of Dr. Patel,
the GI Dr. delivering such sure news without
medical proof. He is a 17 year veteran of this
procedure and he knows what he sees. I
appreciated it. It gave me time to gather
information through research and talk to a friend in
the medical field so that I could better understand
terminology, statistics, staging and treatment

options. I was immediately assigned a cancer care

adviser, a somewhat new program at Kaiser. She
called me at 8 am the next morning to let me know
the process of tests, had my appointments already
scheduled and lots of good personal advice. What a
great program.
So, I got the CT scan which is to check for
metastasis. Next Dave, Katie and I met with my
surgeon, a Colorectal Cancer specialist, Dr. Bryan
Loh who trained at Sloan Kettering. He seems to be
up on all the latest options, he is 40ish and quite
informed. He informed me the CT scan came back
quite clear in the lungs with a small noticeable spot
in the liver, the first place colorectal cancer travels
to quickly. However, after the 3rd radiology read of
the CT scan it was noted that there is notable
shadow on the liver so we will check that again
next week along with an Endorectal Ultrasound to
determine how deep into the wall the mass has
grown. This will help to decide if I will have
radiation, chemo, a waiting period then surgery or
chemo, surgery and possibly more chemo if
needed but not radiation after surgery as that
would destroy the resection. The good news is that
it appears I will definitely keep the sphincter
muscle (look that one up) although I will lose a
major portion of the rectum and a bit of colon. I will
have a colostomy bag short term, hopefully only

short term. He feels at this point it's hard to

properly stage it. He took a 3rd very deep biopsy
grab in the office exam. Ouch. (2 were taken the
day of the colonoscopy but small grabs) It's large
but not stage 4, yet it's not a 1 or 2...so I'm just
guessing it's a 3? Or a really big 2? He will of
course remove all surrounding lymph nodes and
then after surgery the mass will be better
evaluated again.
So, that's it for now. Everything is subject to
change with each new test result. I am extremely
tired. Fighting daily stress headaches from research
and just sharing my story with family and friends. I
feel like a have a fever inside my body with aches,
but mainly I'm sore from all the tests, pumping me
full of air, vacuuming, biopsies etc. I have of course
tried to think, what did I do wrong? I asked my Dr.,
is it the glass of wine each night while I cook
dinner? I mean, I drink water all day and only water
with dinner. I eat a low sugar diet. I have a
conservativeahemyou knowthat lifestyle. I
eat well and walk 4 to 5 miles a day, usually much
more. Why? No he said, "Brenda, all of Italy would
have Colon Cancer if that were the case. It's likely
just your genetic lottery. Stop asking why, it's
nothing you did wrong. We will get through this
with treatment, good nutrition and support. Katie,
Collin and Dave have been a great source of

support. Katie helped with questions, her medical

terminology class is coming in quite handy. For the
next few days, I'm going to sleep. In spite of
fatigue, I feel pretty confident that this will all go
well. We will update you all next week. Now get
yer butts in there for your colonoscopy! It's a
Nationally mandated pre-screening requiring all
insurers to provide it at an affordable cost. Mine
was free.
While I have struggled with whether to share
something so personal, I eventually decided I had
to. I will be absent from a lot of daily schedules. I
am also now a walking PSA for early screening. I
didnt look sick, who knew I was?
Love you all bunches,
Brenda
*UPDATE- After more scans and the Endorectal Ultrasound Ive been staged
as a T3b MNX1,
basically Stage 3. The surrounding lymph nodes are affected.
First meeting with The Oncology team for radiation and
chemotherapy is set for
next week. I will keep you updated, but with a sentence, no more
long letters.