The Impact of Parents Separation / Divorce on Children:

Three Case Studies

One of the problems a society might face is the increasing number of marital
separation and divorce. This causes somewhat disturbing effects for a family. In this
research, we would tackle on how a family can contribute to the characteristics of a child.
Furthermore, we will be defining what is separation and divorce, its causes, and the
influences it brings to a childs emotional, social, and mental development.
Socialization begins at home. Children learn who they are, what they can and
should expect in life, and how to behave toward others in their society. (Popenoe, 1983)
The parents are the first people that children will look up to. Their behaviours will be
absorbed by their children. This means that the children are the extension of the parents
where how a parent acts, what they believe in, and what they say are instilled in every
childs character.
A major function of the family is to provide love and affection to its members.
The lack of this love and affection may harm the physical, intellectual, and emotional
growth as well as the social development of a child. If affection and companionship are
missing, there is often little to hold the family together. (Popenoe, 1983) Through the
provision of love and affection of a parent, it helps the children to prepare for their
growth. They obtain self-esteem and security in a nurtured environment. It is what
contributes to the emotional stability and high intelligence of a child. More so, a childs
perspective of marriage becomes distorted as he observes how the relationship of his
parents dissolves.
Separation is where two people, originally living together or have been married,
lives in different places. Legal separation is an action taken by one spouse who believes
that the marriage has no more hope of working. Sometimes, separation is followed by
divorce which is defined as the legal and/ or formal dissolution of a marriage. A divorce
is a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, especially one that
releases the marriage partners from all matrimonial obligations (dictionary.com).

There are conditions in which parents are not able to handle. This is when they
consider separation, then later divorce. One of the causes that lead to circumstances like
these is the lack of commitment of one or both of the partners. (Respondent A) This does
not necessarily mean infidelity, but the amount of effort one puts into the relationship.
Consider a wife that puts effort in cooking for her husband when he comes home for
dinner and the husband was to come home and go straight to sleep. This is when one
party feels that their relationship may be lopsided.
Another more repressing cause is infidelity. Emotional infidelity occurs as one
partner gives in to the emotional intimacy another person, outside the relationship, offers,
which in turn would result into sexual intimacy. As this goes on, they will maintain a
secret relationship in order to arouse the excitement he/she finds lacking from his partner.
(Meyers, 2011)
A divorce is a traumatic event for any family. Each person has their own ways to
deal with this kind of problem. For most of the children, a divorce can cause emotional
and psychological trauma. (Bowerman) Children are the most affected when parents
resort to divorce. Additional stress such as problems with school and peers and
adjustments to new surroundings form because of this distressing event. (Turner and
West, 2006) Stressful events are hard for children to process because of their innocence
and immaturity. Their reactions and behavior can vary from subtle to explosive. (Order in
the Quart!, 2011) The effects of divorce could greatly affect and weaken the relationship
of a child and his parents. With a child constantly seeking for attention, it may cause poor
attitude, low self-esteem, and many more. Divorce can be sad and confusing for children.
At any age, kids may feel uncertain or angry at the prospect of their parents separating.
(Kemp, Smith, and Segal, 2013) When separation occurs, it is very typical for children to
be unhappy and want their parents to remain together. That unhappiness can translate into
behavioural problems and a sense of loss. (Nickson, 2014)
Parents who have a hard time coping with divorce also affects how their
children will adjust. However, parents that have a very good handle on divorce will be
able to influence how a child can adjust to this event. Emotional tones and relational
confusion bring about issues to the adjustment problems of a child. Other than this

factors, a childs age can also be another factor to contribute to his/her reactions in
dealing with the separation and/or divorce. Children respond differently in regards to the
different stages of development they experience the separation of their parents. (Turner
and West, 2006) Divorce and separation of parents tend to intensify the childs
dependence and to accelerate the adolescents independence. It often elicits a more
regressive response in the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent.
(Pichardt, Ph.D., 2011)
Children from birth to the age of 2 years old are very dependent. A child at this
age has a very different concept than an adult because they have already developed a
strong physical and emotional dependence on both their parents. (An Australian
Government Initiative, 2010) In a separation, there never is an equal amount of time for
each parent to spend with the children. There will always be that one parent that gets to
interact with the children more than the other. This is when the children of that separation
develop a stronger relationship with the parent whom he/she has more communication
with.
Children at the age of 5 to 8 years old can already understand the meaning of
divorce, enough to become sad or depressed. (Kelly 1988, cited in Di Bias 1996; Hodges
1991) This is when their stage of development allows them to comprehend more about
their surroundings. They are more aware; yet they do not fully understand the situation,
let alone its severity. This is why many children still wish their parents would reconcile.
Studies show that children at this age suffer in school and in their social relationships.
(Demo and Adcock 1988, and Bloom and Dawson 1991, cited in Di Bias 1996)
Adolescents are less dependent on the family. Therefore, divorce would seem to
be less significant to them than the other early stages of growth. Their self-esteem may
drop and lead them to question their own future ability to maintain a long-term
relationship with a partner. Adolescents may become delinquents or may result to suicide.
(McKinnon and Wallerstein 1986, cited in Di Bias 1996)
Divorce and separation stem from a number of reason and each reason has its own
degree of severity. As a conflict occurs in the marriage of two people, it may lead to
misunderstanding, separation, and sometimes, divorce. This event give possible negative

reactions to a child that can affect many areas of his life. Since parents have a huge
influence on the children, their separation would bring out emotional and psychological
stress to the children. Separation which sometimes leads to divorce is never easy for
children to adapt to.

References
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Meyers, Seth, and Katie Gilbert. "How to Define Emotional Infidelity: Different Types
Cheating." Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. N.p.,
2011. Web. 15 Sept. 2014. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is2020/201106/how-define-emotional-infidelity-different-types-cheating>.
Nickson, Chris. "The Psychological Effect of Separation on Children." The
Psychological Effect of Separation on Children. SeparatedDads, 27 Aug. 2014.
Web. 15 Sept. 2014. <http://www.separateddads.co.uk/psychological-effectseparation-children.html>.
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