AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING

Authoritarian parenting is where parents establish the rules and expect that children
will follow them without exception. Children have little to no involvement in problemsolving challenges or obstacles.
Instead, parents expect that children will follow all of the rules all the time.
If children challenge the rules or ask why, they are usually told, Because I said so.
Children are not usually given the reasons for the rules and there is little room for any
negotiation. Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of consequences.
Although children who grow up with authoritarian parents tend to follow rules much
of the time, they may develop self-esteem problems. Sometimes children become hostile or
aggressive as they may focus more on being angry at their parents for the punishment rather
than learning how to make decisions and solve-problems.
Authoritarian parenting is one of the four main parenting styles recognized by
researchers. It's characterized by rigid rules and high demands. Authoritarian parents have
high standards and can be highly critical when those standards aren't met. They also tend
to offer less emotional warmth compared to authoritative parents. Read on to find out if
you exhibit any of the characteristics of an authoritarian parent.
Benefits of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style that is characterized by strict discipline,
specific limitations and focus on children. It nurtures discipline virtues in the children and
it also ensures healthy development. Practicing authoritarian parenting provides the
following advantages.
1. Enhances safety
o A huge advantage of undertaking authoritative parenting is that it enhances the
safety of the children. This is attained when parents create rules like a method of
protecting their children. Similar to providing guidance as to which is the correct
path to take, authoritarian parenting offers a clear difference between bad and
good. It enforces consistent rules that show kids that bad mistakes can never
become decent actions, even though mistakes may occur frequently.
2. Better parenting
o Authoritative parents provide a mixture of both understanding and firmness. This
allows them to have better relationships with their children, while maintaining and
asserting high levels of guidelines and expectations. This balanced attitude assists
these parents to effectively deal with difficult kids.

3. Clear goals
o Practicing authoritarian parenting involves the setting of clear and fair rules to
govern the behavior of the children. The rules may be flexible, based on a childs
temperament and also the suitability of the current situations. Children with
authoritative parents are thus aware of what they are expected to do, reducing
chances of error. Actually, likelihood of conflict and disagreement is very low in a
household that uses authoritarian parenting.
4. Creates responsible citizens
o Kids who are brought up using authoritative parenting become highly responsible
citizens when they grow up. They know that there are many limits within freedom
and thus they cannot even think of committing crimes or doing other wrongful
actions.
Even though hyped as a good parenting technique, authoritative parenting does
have some drawbacks. It increases the likelihood of child rebellion, which can
affect the relationship between the parents and their child.
Disadvantages of Authoritarian Parenting
A dictatorial parent, also known as an authoritarian parent, will set strict rules,
guidelines and boundaries within his household. He will provide clear expectations to
the children -- his word is law and the family members can expect to be punished if they
do not follow instructions to the letter. This parent rules the household through
absolute control and expects complete obedience without question to maintain order.
1. Clarity
o In such an authoritarian relationship, the rules are set and not up for
discussion or debate. They are usually well-defined and made perfectly clear to
the entire family. There are no gray areas or confusion as to who is in charge or
what needs to be done. Children have the advantage of knowing exactly what
is expected of them at all times and also what the consequences will be if rules
are not followed explicitly. Household members depend on the parent to
instruct them on all aspects of their home life.
2. Timely and Productive
o When there is no give and take, time is not needed for discussion or argument.
Chores, projects and homework will proceed much more quickly and
efficiently, as no time is necessary for questioning, arguments, suggestions,
changes or lack of leadership. Everyone knows their place and the time frames
in which they are expected to perform assigned duties. This is not unlike the
military, where precision and order are used to keep an orderly and productive
unit ready at all times.

3. Inflexible
o Dictatorial parenting can be very inflexible. The parent will not be open to
alternative methods of conducting household business. Communication in
family meetings and one-on-one communication with family members can be
almost nonexistent and bonding to children extremely minimal. Household
members will not learn how to think for themselves and will rely on other
authorities to make decisions for them later in life. They may become very
introverted and lack self-esteem and any type of spontaneity or creativity.
4. Stunts Independence
o A child who is given instructions on everything he is expected to do will grow
up needing guidance in all areas of his life. He will not be able to think tasks
out for himself and may lack initiative in both starting and completing projects
without supervision. He may also lack confidence in himself and his ability to
think creatively and be unable to contribute fully to his workplace or home life
demands and challenges. A child's spirit can be greatly stifled in such an
autocratic environment, resulting in timidity and an introverted personality.
AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING
Authoritative parents also have rules that children are expected to follow, however,
they allow some exceptions to the rule. They often tell children the reasons for the rules
and they are more willing to consider a childs feelings when setting limits.
Authoritative parents tend to use consequences instead of punishments.
They also use more positive consequences to reinforce good behaviors and may be
more willing than authoritarian parents to use reward systems and praise.
Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They
are often good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own. They often
grow up to be responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions.
Setting limits with kids means setting a guideline for behavior, even when theres not
an official household rule. Since you cant set a rule about everything, limits are those spur
of the moment guidelines that are situational. Although you might not have an official rule
that says, No banging spoons on the table, you might need to say to your child, Stop
banging your spoon please, if hes interrupting conversation at the dinner table.
Sometimes parents struggle to set limits with kids. Feelings of guilt or wanting to
avoid a temper tantrum can get in the way of discipline. However, limits are good for kids.
In addition to reinforcing the six life skills your discipline should be teaching your child,
setting limits is an important part of parenting.

ADVANTAGES OF SETTING LIMITS

OF AN AUTHORITATIVE PARENT
1. Setting Limits Teaches Kids Self-Discipline
Setting limits is a great way to teach self-discipline skills. When you say, Turn
off your video games and do your homework please, you are teaching self-discipline.
Showing your child that life isnt always about having fun shows teaches him to be
responsible.
The eventual goal is for him to learn to do his homework, chores and other
healthy behaviors without reminders. Establishing consistent limits and rules helps
kids learn how to begin being more self-disciplined on their own.
2. Setting Limits Keeps Kids Safe
Limits help kids learn about safety. Although it might be safe for your child to
play outside, he might need limits about what hes allowed to do or where hes
allowed to go when hes playing outside alone. Limits are also needed to keep kids
safe when they are using the internet and when they begin doing activities
independently.
Limits should be change over time as your child matures. Give your child
opportunities to show you that he can be responsible with the limits youve given
him. If hes able to handle the limits youve set, he can show that hes ready to handle
more responsibility. Creating behavior management contracts can be a great way for
a child to show you when hes ready to have less limits.
3. Setting Limits Keeps Kids Healthy
By nature, most kids are impulsive and enjoy immediate gratification.
Therefore, they need adults to teach them how to be healthy. Limits should be set
with a childs eating habits. Without limits, many kids would eat junk food all day.
Setting limits means saying, No, you cant have a third cookie, or You need to eat a
healthy choice first.
Limits should also be set in regards to electronics. Many kids would be content
watching TV or playing on the computer all day long. Set limits with screen time and
encourage a healthy, well-rounded lifestyle. Setting limits with exercise and hygiene
also keeps kids healthy.
4. Setting Limits Teaches Kids to Cope with Uncomfortable Feelings
Sometimes parents hate to set limits because they dont want to make their
child sad or mad. Unfortunately, dealing with uncomfortable feelings is a part of life.
Preventing your child from experiencing normal emotions can be harmful to kids in
the long run.
Just because your child is sad that he cant eat that third cookie doesnt mean
you should give in. Instead, it gives you a great opportunity to teach your child about

feelings and help him find healthy ways to cope with it. This is a great skill that will
help ensure your child has the skills necessary to become a responsible adult.
5. Setting Limits Shows Kids that You Care
When kids dont have any rules, it causes a lot of anxiety for them. Despite the
fact that they often might act as if they want to be the boss, kids dont really want
to be in charge. Instead, they want to know that youre in charge and that youre
competent to help them stay under control.
Often, kids will test limits just to see how adults will react. A child who hits his
brother just to make sure an adult is going to intervene will feel safe when he learns
that his behavior results in consequences. Showing a child that there are negative
consequences for breaking the rules, shows that you are going to let things get out
of control.
It also teaches a child that you love him. Saying to a teen, I care about you and
thats why I am giving you a curfew, might seem to annoy your child. However, it
shows that you are willing to work invest energy into your childs life even if it means
having to tolerate being told youre the meanest parent ever.
Uninvolved
Parenting Style

The parents' needs and wants are always first priority, so that the lack of a good, loving
relationship with the child has a significant negative impact on the child's psychosocial
development.

Most uninvolved parents are unable to encourage, teach or enable their children. They
are often indifferent in their behaviour toward their children and lack the knowledge to
meet their children's even basic needs.

As the parents themselves are often experiencing financial, emotional and social stress,
the impact on their children can be devastating.

Social isolation and lack of friendship and support from relatives often leaves the
children suffering from loneliness, fear and anxiety.
Often uninvolved and neglectful parents are heavily involved in addictive behaviors,
leaving the children to act as their parents caregivers. This creates its own set of
problems for the children's future development.

Effects of the
"Uninvolved Parenting Style"
Children raised by uninvolved parents:
Must learn to provide for themselves
Fear becoming dependent on other people

Are often emotionally withdrawn

Tend to exhibit more delinquency during adolescence
Feel fear, anxiety, or stress due to the lack of family support
Have an increased risk of substance abuse
All or perhaps a combination of these possible effects can emerge from this parenting
style.
Development of a sense of unimportance to the parent
Become emotionally withdrawn from social situations
Develop a sense of loneliness
Show patterns of truancy in school
Patterns of delinquency during adolescence
Prone to develop fear, stress and anxiety disorders
Develop a low self-esteem
Lack self-control
High chance of addiction to drugs and alcohol
Often demonstrate defiance to authority figures such as, parents, teachers and other
adults
Characteristics of the
Uninvolved Parenting Style

Uninvolved parents:
Are emotionally distant from their children
Offer little or no supervision
Show little warmth, love, and affection towards their children
Have few or no expectations or demands for behavior
Don't attend school events and parent-teacher conferences
May intentionally avoid their children
Are often too overwhelmed by their own problems to deal with their children

Uninvolved parents tend to be neglectful. They often do not meet their childrens
basic needs and may expect children to raise themselves. Sometimes this is due to a parents
mental health issues or substance abuse problems. They may also lack knowledge about
parenting and child development or may feel overwhelmed by lifes other problems.
Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing.
There tends to be few, if any, rules or expectations. Children may not receive any nurturing
or guidance and they lack the much need parental attention.

When parents are uninvolved, children tend to lack self-esteem and they perform
poorly academically. They also exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank low in
happiness.

Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style

characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child's needs.
Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often
indifferent, dismissive or even completely neglectful.
These parents have little emotional involvement with their kids. While they provide
for basic needs like food and shelter, they are uninvolved in their children's lives. The
degree of involvement may vary considerably. Some uninvolved parents may be relatively
hands-off with their kids, but may still have some basic limits such as curfews. Others may
be downright neglectful or even reject their children outright.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents don't offer much discipline. They tend to be lenient and may only
step in when there is a serious problem. There may be few consequences for misbehavior
because parents have an attitude of "kids will be kids."

Permissive parents may take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They may
encourage their children to talk with them about their problems but may not discourage a
lot of bad behaviors.
Kids who grow up with permissive parents tend to struggle academically. They may
exhibit more behavioral problems as they will likely not appreciate authority and rules. They
often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness.
The Dangers of
Permissive Parenting
Researchers from around the world have studied what happens to children who grow
up with little discipline.
Studies have identified many drawbacks associated with permissive parents' overly
laid-back approach to parenting. Here are some of the negative outcomes of permissive
parenting:

Children who don't receive enough guidance don't learn problem-solving skills that
help them learn to make good decisions.

Low expectations often lead to low achievement. Kids are less likely to strive to
become better when parents don't encourage them to challenge themselves.

Children may be at an increased risk of obesity when parents dont set limits on food
intake. Permissive parents also arent likely to enforce healthy doses of outdoor play
and exercise.

Permissive parents dont monitor screen time which can lead to excessive television
and computer use. Kids with permissive parents are five times more likely to watch
over four hours of TV each day.
Preschoolers with permissive parents may be at a higher risk of mental health issues
including depression and anxiety.

Children may behave more aggressively. When children arent taught how to deal with
their emotions effectively, they tend to show more aggressive behavior.

Teenagers with permissive parents may be at increased risk of a multitude of behavior

problems. Studies have linked permissive parenting with increased alcohol use, higher
rates of school misconduct, and lower levels of academic achievement.

Characteristics of
Permissive Parenting
1. Parent doesnt put the child on any type of schedule.
Permissive parents give kids control over their time. Kids often pick their own nap
times - which may happen to occur whenever they fall asleep - and they may eat whenever
they feel hungry. Permissive parents don't want their children confined by a rigid schedule
that dictates bedtime, bath time and meal time.
2. The childs day lacks structure.
Permissive parents dont overschedule their children and they dont force kids to
participate in certain activities. They arent likely to set strict limits on screen time, for
example, and they arent likely to worry about how much exercise their kids are getting.
Instead, they let their kids take the lead on how to spend their time.
3. Parents emphasizes the importance of their child being a kid.
Whether their children are jumping on the furniture, or they're racing down the
grocery store aisles, permissive parents are likely to say, Let them be kids. They tend to
have little expectation of mature behavior and have a high tolerance for misbehavior and
silly outbursts.

4. Values the child's freedom over responsibility.

Permissive parents dont give their children many chores or extra responsibilities.
Instead, theyre more likely to allow their children the freedom to have fun, explore their
environment, and make choices about what they want to do.
5. Parents have very few if any real rules.
Permissive parents arent likely to have a list of household rules hanging on the wall.
They don't usually claim to have many steadfast rules and they prefer a more relaxed
environment.
6. Parents wait for their child to ask for help.
Permissive parents certainly dont hover over their children. they don't want to insert
help when it's not needed and they aren't interested in micromanaging a child's
activities.Instead, they believe if their children need or want assistance, theyll ask.
7. Seek the childs opinion on major decisions.
Permissive parents tend to ask questions like, What do you think we should do about
this note your teacher sent home about your behavior today? They may invite their
children to weigh in on major family decisions as well by asking questions such as, Do you
want to move a different house? They may avoid making changes when their children
object and they may go to great lengths to ensure their children dont experience
discomfort.
8. Bribe their child/children.
Permissive parents tend to bribe their children to behave. Unlike rewards - that are
given after good behavior - bribes are given up front with the child promising to behave
later. Permissive parents are often overindulgent.
9. Rarely gives out consequences.
Permissive parents feel bad giving out negative consequences and punishments. They
rarely take away privileges and theyre likely to give in when children protest or throw
temper tantrums. when they do try to set limits, they often don't follow through with
enforcing them if their children don't comply.
10. Would rather be the childs friend rather than an authority figure.
Permissive parents dont really want to be in charge and dont want to be viewed as
mean. They are happy to be seen as a friend rather than the boss. During the teen years,

theyre often viewed as the cool parents because they may be very tolerant of teenage
misbehavior and may even collude with teens to help them break certain rules.
The Effects of
Permissive Parenting
Children raised by permissive parents:

Lack self-discipline
Sometimes have poor social skills
May be self-involved and demanding
May feel insecure due to the lack of boundaries and guidance

Advantages of Permissive Parenting

Relating to your child more as a friend than a parent can give a Mum or dad a greater
understanding of what makes their child tick and as they get older, communication can be
easier. Being positive about what children are doing and saying can raise levels of selfesteem and give them the knowledge that their parents will accept them and love them
whatever they say or do.
Disadvantages of Permissive Parenting
Children of permissive parents have no boundaries, and as discussed above find it
difficult in situations where they have to do as they are told. This can lead to them being
dependent on others to do things for them, and studies have shown that children of
parents who never said the word "No" are more likely to get into trouble with the Police,
drink or drugs when they are older. Children who are used to having things their own way
can also become very frustrated and aggressive when rules are enforced.

SOURCES:

http://discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/a/Types-Of-Discipline-StrategiesAnd-Parenting-Styles.htm

http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/permissive-parenting.htm

discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/fl/The-Consequences-of-PermissiveParenting.htm

http://discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/a/Types-Of-Discipline-StrategiesAnd-Parenting-Styles.htm

http://discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/ss/10-Signs-You-May-be-anAuthoritarian-Parent.htm

http://discipline.about.com/od/establishingrules/tp/Setting-Limits-5-Reasons-Why-It-IsImportant-To-Set-Limits-With-Kids.htm

http://discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/ss/10-Characteristics-of-a-PermissiveParenting-Style.htm

http://benefitof.net/benefits-of-authoritarian-parenting/

http://www.justparents.co.uk/parenting/styles/authoritative-parenting.html

http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/authoritative-parenting-9698.html

http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com/uninvolved-parenting-style.html