Groaning, I closed the Bible and put it down on the nightstand and lay back in my bed..

I just wasnt
feeling it. After a long day at work, dealing with irritable clients and annoying co-workers, it was hard to
focus on any passage of Scripture. My mind still echoed with the whining of clients somehow unable to
comprehend why they actually had to pay for services rendered, and bitchy comments from other
employees who felt that they werent getting the recognition they deserved.
All I want is to find some peace, and to find what direction God has for my life. I cant stand this job much
longer; it was only supposed to be temporary in the first place, and now I feel like Im in quicksand. I
should be involved in some type of ministry, doing something that really matters, making a difference. If I
could only get my spiritual life together, find a consistent walk with God, be victorious, I could just move
on. I could finally be happy, and free of all the petty hassles of life.
And if that doesnt happen, in thirty years time Ill still be trying to explain to indignant clients exactly why
choosing the cheapest setup on the floor isnt a wise decision, and then having to cope with their anger
when they storm back in, complaining they dont get the performance of a model that costs twice as
much. Ill still be dealing with staff members who try to screw over their co-workers, and are never
satisfied with their paycheck.
Why am I still here, still going through the same crap day after day?
There must be some reason. There must be some sin in my life thats keeping me from God, keeping me
from living the life I should be living, a sin creating a separation between God and me.
Mentally, I reviewed the day past, looking for how I might have displeased Him, any thought, word or
action that might have disappointed God, and so put me another step further away from being the
Christian I should be.
The young couple that came in looking for a new laptop she was so pretty, and I couldnt help noticing
how low-cut her top was, and how her
O Lord, I repent! I know that looking on a woman with lust is the same as committing adultery. I humbly
repent of the sin of adultery, and earnestly beg your forgiveness! Im sorry for my sin, which caused you
more pain on the cross. I promise Ill do better! Just forgive me this once more, and Ill never do it again!
What else?
Oh when Bob came to me to complain about Sally stealing one of his sales again I was really
irritated. I just wanted to snap at him, and tell him to confront her and sort it out himself, for once.
Oh God, Im so sorry! Your Word says that if Im angry, its as if Ive committed murder. Please forgive me,
Heavenly Father, if you can. I know its asking a lot, but if you give me another chance, Ill never do it
again.
Even as I made the promise, I wondered how I could ever keep it. But what could I do? As long as Bob
came whining to me, I couldnt help feeling frustrated, and the irritation came welling up. But I would just
have to be strong. Unless of course! There is a way!
Lord God, I prayed earnestly, please change Bob. Instead of running to me, please change his heart so
that he will want to sort things out himself. Please give him the conviction, by Your Holy Spirit, that he
should not come complaining to me, and so cause me to stumble. Thank you, Father.
Encouraged, I picked up my Bible again. I opened it to Psalm 24, and read the words Id highlighted:
Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart

Feeling inspired, and determined to be a better Christian, I switched off the bedside light and closed my
eyes. I fell asleep repeating over and over in my mind as Id been taught to do: Every day, in every way, I
am getting better and better.
I slept.

The next day started well. I managed to find a parking spot within a block of the store, and couldnt help
feeling it was a sign that God was pleased with me, going before me and preparing the way. As I walked
to the store, I noticed an old man sitting on the sidewalk, huddling into himself against the cold. Despite
the number of people hurrying to and fro on the pavement, there was clear space at least a metre around
the man, as if there was an invisible force field around him. Some of the pedestrians glanced his way, but
without exception they all quickly looked away, as if something in another direction had suddenly grabbed
their attention.
I stepped through the doorway of the coffee shop to get my usual morning pick-me-up, and on a sudden
impulse doubled my order. When it came, I left the store and walked over to where the man still sat,
folded in on himself. As I drew near, it became obvious why people were giving him a wide berth the
odour assailing my nostrils made it clear he was unwashed, and he was visibly filthy. Doing my best to
ignore the stench, I made myself smile as I awkwardly reached down, cup of coffee in my outstretched
hand.
Here you go, fella this should help stave off the cold a bit.
When he looked up at me, I was startled. I was expecting the rheumy, bloodshot eyes of a chronic
alcoholic, but the eyes looking back at me were remarkably clear. Besides that, the expression in them
was not that of someone angry and disillusioned with the world, like most transients wore. Nor did they
have the vacant gaze of someone who had mentally checked out, like some of the local street people who
seemed to live in a world of their own creation. These yes were a startling blue, and carried a glint of
humour - and something else. Strangely, his look almost seemed to hold a hint of compassion, almost as
if he were the one who felt sorry for me, rather than the other way around.
Thank you, brother. God bless you. He reached out and took the coffee, holding the cup in both hands
as if to warm them.
Youre welcome. And God bless you too. My smile felt more genuine this time, and it didnt leave my
face as I walked off and headed for Bargain Chips, the computer and electronics store that I managed.
When I walked through the front doors, though, the smile quickly left my face, as the sound of two voices
in disagreement reached my ears.
Bob and Sally - at it again.
I guess my prayer for Bob hadnt worked. Obviously I didnt have enough faith or there must be some
sin in my life. After all, the Bible says that the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective, and
my prayers were obviously neither of those things. I would have to search my heart to see what it was
that had displeased God, and made my prayer so useless.
Well, at least they havent seen me yet. I can duck into my office and have my coffee before I have to sort
out their mess again.
That hope was quickly dashed, as the bickering duo came round the corner and spotted me.
Just the man I wanted to see! You wont believe what she-
Dont listen to the man, hes an idiot! Do you know what he-

Sighing, I pushed the door to my office open with my free hand. As I expected, Bob and Sally followed
me, their voices growing ever louder as each attempted to talk over the other.
The day didnt improve from there. First there was the customer who expected a refund on his laptop that
hed accidentally driven over, and was convinced that such a minor mishap couldnt possibly have
anything to do with why the piece of junk had stopped working. Then there was the lady for whom I ahd
worked out an incredible bargain on the computer she had her heart set on, despite the fact that it was a
top-of-the-line model and she was looking for something to use for email and junk and when I quoted
her the price, expecting at least token thanks, shed screamed in my face that I was a ******* thief, and I
was ripping her off and planning to pocket her money, then proceeded to storm out, informing everyone
she passed that we were a bunch of ******* robbers and she would never shop here ever and they
shouldnt either. Then there was the couple who wandered around the store for an hour or so, while their
three little angels ran riot, covering every available surface with sticky fingerprints and eventually had to
be physically restrained from climbing up the display cabinets, which led to their mother informing the
whole store at the top of her voice that I was a child molester.
With each new outrage, my resolve to remain calm trickled away a bit more, my smile became more
forced until it vanished altogether, and the only way I could retain some semblance of sanity was by
imagining myself visiting each customers home, yelling to their neighbours that they were thieves and
child molesters, then pouring soda on their living room floor.
Later much later - I locked up and left the store - an hour later than usual, thanks to customers who
had shown up at five minutes before closing time and wandered around for ages before leaving without
buying anything, of course.

I sighed. I couldnt put it off any longer before I turned in for the night, I needed to repent before God.
Lord, I prayed. Im so sorry. Please forgive me again for my anger, for my impatience, for my
I stopped. It was no use. Every day repenting the same sins; every day determining to do better, and
every day failing. I was just a failure. Failing to grow as a Christian, failing to find Gods purpose for my
life, failing be the person I had thought I could be.
But what could I do? I was only human. Yet when I was younger, I had seen so much potential. I knew I
could do great things for God. I had dreams of being a great preacher, being a leader in the church. I had
imagined myself living a wonderful, fulfilled life, secure and happy and respected.
Now those dreams lay in shreds. There was no wonderful destiny before me, just a continual cycle of
trying and failing. If I somehow managed to go a couple of days keeping my anger in check, keeping my
mind pure, then the inevitable failure was just that much more crushing.
What could I do? If only I had some sort of guide, somebody to point me in the right direction whenever
my thoughts led me astray, maybe then I would be able to walk that straight and narrow path.
Sighing again, I turned out the light.

Swimming up from the depths of sleep, I opened my eyes a crack. Who turned on the light? And the
singing who? Huh? My thoughts still fuzzy, I decided this must be a dream, and I closed my eyes again.
Awake, thou that sleepest! Ephesians 5:14. It was the most beautiful voice Id ever heard, like a trumpet
come to life. Startled, I opened my eyes wide, and then was forced to close them again in defense against
the searing light.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said the angel, in an irritatingly smug tone of voice.
"What now?" I asked, and I couldn't keep a note of irritation from my voice.
The smile left the angel's face as if it had been wiped off with a cloth.
"Was that anger in your voice?" asked the angel, and his voice now held no hint of smugness. It was cold
and forbidding, and my heart skipped a beat.
Uh-oh.
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all
malice. Ephesians 4: 31."
The golden glow that normally surrounded him had darkened, as if storm clouds had eclipsed the sun.
"But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your
mouth. Colossians 3:8."

"I'm sorry. What is it you wouldn't do?"

The angel glared at me, as if considering whether this was some sort of trick. Then suddenly, the
stormclouds rolled away, revealing a sunny, hail-fellow-well-met grin.
"Salt," he said cheerfully.
"Uh... saaaalt?" I was really confused now.
"Yes." If possible, his smile grew even friendlier.
"Um. Ok."
What?
"You were about to sodium-free bread." He intoned sodium-free as if reciting from a strange language he
had learnt phonetically.
"Uh, yes. Um. Yes?"
The angel's eyes narrowed. "So you confess your sin? Do you repent?"
"Um. Yes?"
"And what is your confession?"
I wracked my brain.
"Uh... "
"And every offering of your grain offering you shall season with salt; you shall not allow the salt of the
covenant of your God to be lacking from your grain offering. With all your offerings you shall offer salt."
His tone of voice was cool and calm and lacking any histrionics, and he remained as physically still as
ever hands clasped piously together, wings furled yet majestic, only the occasional ripple of his brilliant
white robe showing any movement. Yet I flinched as though he had struck me.
"Repent." His tone of voice admitted no compromise.
"Um. I repent."
Again his eyes narrowed.
"I... humbly repent?"
He continued to stare at me, and I felt the heat of his gaze as if it were a physical force. Shaken, I moved
over to the table, picked up the salt, and shook it liberally over my slice of toast with jam. My hands were
trembling as I picked up the toast and bit into it.
Yuck!
"Mmmm... good," I said.
"You're enjoying your breakfast?"
"Oh, yes - delicious!" I said, nodding my head fervently.

The angel started to glow.

Oh, no. Oh please, please, please!
The pain struck, and the toast went flying as I grabbed my head with both hands. Everything seemed to
go dark.
"You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another. Leviticus 19:11."
"I'm sorry! Please, please, make it stop! Please!"
There was nothing but pain. Pain and darkness.
"For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. Hebrews 12:6."
Slowly, the pain began to ease, and my vision returned. I groaned.
"Good," said the angel happily. "Now, eat up. We have much to discuss."
Looking around me, I saw the toast had landed on the floor a couple of metres away from me. Face
down.
"Give us this day our daily bread. Matthew 6:11," said the angel. His dark eyes glinted.
I forced myself not to show the disgust I felt. I walked over, bent down and picked up the slice of toast
and I very carefully didnt just shove it into my mouth. I just took bite, then another, and forced myself to
chew, then swallow, without showing any disgust or distate, or pretense of enjoyment. I swallowed, took
another bite, then another, till I had eaten the whole disgusting mess, and there was nothing left but a foul
taste in my mouth.
Wonderful! cried the angel. Now, let us pray. We shall humble ourselves before God, and ask Him