The gifts

that come
from
loving a
child with
autism
In many cases, the family of a child with autism
will tell you that when a loved one is diagnosed
with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), it
feels like a carpet being pulled out from beneath
their feet. Julie Knights-Thomson, coordinator
of Fanshawe College's Weekend Autism and
Behavioural Science graduate program, shares
her perspective as both a mother and educator.

The initial emotional impacta mix of fear,

despair, shock, confusion, hopelessness and
angeris overwhelming, and it feels implausible
in those first weeks to move beyond the grief
associated with the diagnosis. Every family,
and each member within that family, will
handle the diagnosis of ASD in their own way:
some marriages will end; some families will
choose non-traditional schooling for their child
to protect them against bullying and social
isolation; some families will double-mortgage
their homes in order to pay for interventions
to help their child; some couples wont pursue
their plan to have more children because they
feel the responsibility of parenting a child with
ASD supersedes all other decisions. Families

experiences with the education system. The

concepts of spontaneity and flexibility vanish,
replaced by rigid schedules, structures, routines
and difficult decisions whether or not to attend
events that may cause additional stress. With
ASD, the once-projected future of the family will
need to be reevaluated and carefully planned to
consider the many unexpected and unwanted
variables now in play.
In spite of these challenges, its important to
acknowledge the flip side of living with this
diagnosis and honour the gifts that come from
loving a child with autism. While the dynamics
of the family are indeed permanently altered
upon hearing the words your child has autism,
the diagnosis is not a death sentence. As the

The initial emotional impacta mix of fear,

despair, shock, confusion, hopelessness and
angeris overwhelming ...

may tell you that when their child received the

diagnosis, they subsequently lost long-time
friendships. They may withdraw from attending
social events for fear of their childs inability to
cope with the sensory environment, the ensuing
meltdown and judgmental stares from others.
Having a child with ASD can impact the whole
family by: changing relationships with relatives,
changing the dynamics of family celebrations
and gatherings, challenging the siblings of a child
with ASD to develop their own identity, separate
from their relationship with and responsibilities
to help care for their differently-abled sibling.
There are many vulnerabilities that arise from an
ASD diagnosis, including: a parents sense of self,
the marital relationship, immediate and extended
family interactions, friendships, meaningful
community involvement and the familys

mom of a beautiful boy with ASD, living with this

diagnosis for 11 of his 13 years, I wish I could reach
back to when our family was first rocked by his
diagnosis so that I could reassure my younger,
terrified self of the growth that would come. I
want her to know that she will be able to find
hope. That she will eventually breathe without
feeling like she is suffocating. That she will be
able to see joy in the diagnosis. I would tell my
younger self that those feelings of despair, guilt,
shame and fear will gradually be joined (and later
minimized) by feelings of accomplishment, hope
and comfort in a new normal. I would find my
younger selfshuffling through life like a zombie,
surviving some days on Diet Coke due to lack of
sleepto tell her that the learning curve will get
easier and the workshops, appointments and
behavioural assessments will lessen.
continued }

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I would tell her to do

a better job of taking
care of her self and to
push back against
the guilt.

} I would tell her that autism will not forever be

woven into every crevice of her life. I would tell her
that she is still whole, and that autism is not going
to define who she is, or who her family is. I would
tell my younger self to surround herself with kind
yet firmly supportive peopleher lifeline when she
felt as though she was drowningwho will guide
her through the many challenges in those early
days and weeks. I would tell her to do a better job
of taking care of herself and to push back against
the guilt.
Eleven years into this diagnosis, I cant imagine
a different way of being, or what life would be
like without our new community of personal and
professional champions we have met along our
shared journey. Our family embraces our son,
diagnosis and all. We are constantly reminded that
autism does not define him. Its only a small layer
of who he is; along with funny, bright, stubborn,
compassionate, creative and complicated. He has
been the greatest gift to our whole family, and has
taught us innumerable life lessons of acceptance,
diversity, patience and humility. We have grown
with his diagnosis, and we thank him for that. He
reminds us to slow down, laugh often, honour the
uniqueness in others, celebrate even the smallest
of accomplishments and take care of each other.

EDUCATION
TOURISM,
&
SOCIAL
HOSPITALITY
SERVICES
& RECREATION

PROGRAMS

CERTIFICATE
Community Integration Through
Co-operative Education
Human Services Foundation

DIPLOMA
The opportunity to make a difference. Its what drives
many of us. From a single kind word to providing the
support needed to overcome an obstacle, one teachable
moment can have an incredible impact on someones life.
Our programs will give you the power to teach and
inspire. You will experience the impact you can have in
the development of a child, a family and a community.
You will show someone how to be optimistic in the face
of adversity. You will feel the gratification of revealing
someones inner-potential, and as a result, unlock
your own.

Developmental Services Worker

PROGRAMS
Developmental
Services Worker
(Accelerated)
Developmental Services Worker (Fast Track)
Early Childhood Education
Early Childhood Education (Accelerated)
Early Childhood Education (Fast Track)
Early Childhood Education
(Fast Track WeekendCollege)
Social Service Worker
Social Service Worker (Fast Track)

ADVANCED DIPLOMA
Child & Youth Care
Child & Youth Care (Fast Track)

DEGREE
Bachelor of Early Childhood Leadership

GRADUATE CERTIFICATE

ABOUT THE EXPERT

Julie Knights-Thomson is a full-time faculty member
at Fanshawe College, and has taught in the School of
Human Services since 2010. Julie currently teaches
in the Autism and Behavioural Science Graduate
Certificate program and has also taught in the Social
Services Worker program. Before Fanshawe, Julie
worked for several years as a social worker for the
Thames Valley District School Board. Passionate
about education, she is excited each day to engage
in the learning process with students.

Autism & Behavioural Science

Autism & Behavioural Science
(WeekendCollege)

APPRENTICESHIP
The professors at Fanshawe College
are influential; they are truly invested
in my life, my education, and most
importantly, my future.

Child Development Practitioner

Developmental Services Worker

Christine Giberson
Development Services Worker - Accelerated

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