Building Self-Esteem in

Children
Parental Workshop
27th November 2015

What we want is Western Science coupled with

Vedanta, Brahmacharya as the guiding motto,
also Shraddha and faith in one's own Self.

The Teaching Of Innocence

SEVEN PRINCIPLES
1. Everything is possible
2. If you want to get something, give it.
3. When you make a choice, you change the
future.
4. Dont say no, go with the flow.
5. Every time you wish or want, you plant a
seed.
6. Enjoy the journey.
7. You are here for a reason.

Learning and Knowledge

Learning what to Learn V/s Learning How to learn
Knowledge - Theoretical - Information based Understanding
Knowledge - Exponential - Experiential - Elevates the
mind to higher level. One never forgets - like eating
a Vanilla Ice cream or Alphanso mango or chocolate
Comparison between the two concepts of
knowledge.
We may study about the different classification and
types of Mango Trees, but we would not experience
how would it tastes unless we eat it.

What is Self-Esteem?
How a child feels
about him/herself
How s/he feels
accepted by others
Feeling
loveable
Feeling
capable

The tale of Thomas Mead

The tale of Thomas Mead

The tale of Thomas Mead

Why is it important ?
It is important because..
1. It helps children to feel good
about themselves
2. It builds their self confidence
3. It helps them better
understand their own
problems
4. It will cause them to have
better social skills
5. More self respect
6. More respect for others
7. Have better control over
emotions

Every child has,

at birth,
a greater potential
intelligence than
Leonardo Da Vinci,
Isaac Newton,
or Einstein
Glenn Doman
ever used.Author of Teach To Multiply Your Babys
Intelligence

10

Vedantic Philosophy at VKE

Learning How To
Learn? Education is
the manifestation
of the perfection
already in man.
No knowledge
comes- Swami
fromVivekananda
outside

That system which

aims at educating
our boys in the
same manner as that
of the man who
battered his ass,
being advised that it
could thereby be
turned into horse,
should be abolished.

Owing to undue
domination exercised
by the parents, our
boys do not get free
scope of growth.
- Swami Vivekananda

You cannot teach a child

any more than you can
grow a plant. The plant
develops its own nature.
The child also teaches
itself. But you can help it
to go forward in its own
way
- Swami Vivekananda

The 5 Areas of Self Esteem

Spiritual : How you feel about your religious
beliefs or your place in the BIG Picture.
Intellectual : How you feel about your ability
to think and solve problems.
Emotional : How you feel about your
feelings and how you express them.
Social : How you feel about your ability to
get along with others.
Physical : How you feel about your body and
health.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Self-Esteem

A child whose self-esteem is

Healthy
Enjoys interacting with
others
Is comfortable in social
settings
Is comfortable doing
things on his/her own
Faces challenges
Doesnt belittle him/herself
Is optimistic
Is aware of own strengths
and weaknesses

Unhealthy

Is afraid to try new things

Speaks negatively about
him/herself
Has a low frustration
tolerance
Gives up easily
Is easily disappointed in
him/herself
Is pessimistic
Views setbacks as
permanent and
devastating

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
1. Love Your Children
for Who They Are
.

.
.

Encourage small
achievements rather
than point out their
mistakes or failures
Enhance the qualities
they have; dont blame
them for lacking others
Reward effort and
completion rather than
outcomes

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
2.

Encourage Your Childs

Talents
Encourage your child to try in
order to build his/her confidence
Set realistic expectations
Avoid comparisons with others
Recognize his/her improvement

However, dont expect your child to

excel in sports, academics, music,
just because you did.

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
3.

Give Your Children

Importance
Respect their likes and dislikes
Ask for their opinion
Encourage your child to be part
of decision-making, particularly
as it concerns him/her
Show interest in their activities

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
4.

Give Responsibility
Assign chores that your child can accomplish
daily
Completing chores gives a sense of self-worth
and confidence in his/her abilities
Allows child to make an important contribution
to the family

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
5.

Set Rules and

Consequences

Having rules helps a child

feel secure
Helps a child know what is
expected of him/her
Helping your child set selflimits builds self-esteem
and self-understanding
Be firm (not harsh) and
consistent

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
6.

Establish Routines

Children feel more secure

when they have set routines
which are predictable
Routines help children
understand what is expected
of them and how to reach
those expectations

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
7. Monitor Your Childs

Friendships
By 6 years old, peer influence
becomes increasingly important
Help your child recognise peers
who build-up self-worth rather
than tear it down
Help your child develop his/her
own value system and
recognise peers who share
those values

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
8.

Allow Children to Express

Their Feelings

Teach/prompt your child to express

their feelings through words
Listen to your child with a closed
mouth
Be available to them and validate
their feelings by restating what
theyve said
Be aware that listening/validating their
feelings can be enough of a response

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
9.

Be A Positive Mirror

How your child perceives

him/herself largely depends upon
how you perceive him/her
Value them for who they are and
not just how they perform
Tell children what they can do
instead of what not to do
Be a good role model for self-esteem: avoid
putting yourself down, or beating yourself
up if you make a mistake; send a message
that its okay not to be perfect

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
10. Play with Your Child

Play time gives the message

you are worth my time and
you are valuable
Child-initiated play increases
self-worth (Mom likes to
play the things I do) and
holds his/her attention longer
Give him/her your undivided
attention

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
11.Monitor your parenting style
Dont fall into the trap of the permissive
parent
. Help your child understand that s/he cant always
get his/her way
. Encourage social competence through give &
take, together and separate time (especially
important for parents of an only child)
. Avoid exclusive child- centred decision-making
. Show respect for the authority figures in your
childs world.

Ways to Build Self-Esteem and

Confidence
12. Be Spontaneous and
Affectionate

Give hugs and praise frequently

Surprise them for no reason in
particular
Be playful and genuine

Competency
Helping children develop self-esteem is a
matter of helping them gather evidence that
they are competent, capable, successful right
now and being loved by others. Tell them the
most important friend is God, loves you,
through your Mother, Father, Brother, Sister &
Friends.

When children are allowed to do

things for themselves, they feel
proud and competent.

How would you handle the following

situations:
Sham says, I cant do math. Im stupid!
Seema tells you that someone in her class said
her butterfly project was ugly.
John tells you he doesnt have any friends
because all the boys in his class play soccer and
he doesnt know how.

Ways to Build Self-Esteem

Love your children for who they are
Be grateful to God and keep telling
yourself that your children are
Gods gift to you
See, encourage, and not seek your childs talents
Give your children importance
Give responsibility
Set rules and consequences
Establish Spirituality & practice to set routines
Guide & monitor your childs friends
Allow children to express their feelings
Be a positive mirror
Play with your child
Be spontaneous and affectionate

If you do not allow

one to become a
lion, one will
become a fox.
-Swami Vivekananda

If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again

If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd stop playing serious,
and seriously play.
I'd build self-esteem first,
I would run through more fields
and the house later.
and gaze at more stars.
I'd finger-paint more,
I'd do more hugging
and point the finger less.
and less tugging.
I would do less correcting
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more
and more connecting.
often.
I'd take my eyes off my watch
I would be firm less often,
and watch with my eyes.
and affirm much more.
I would care to know less
I'd model less about the love of power,
and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. And more about the power of Love.
~ by Diane Loomans

IB Learner Profile Coupled with Vedant

The Steps of a Child

If a child lives with
Criticism, He learns to condemn.
hostility, He learns to fight.
ridicule, He learns to be shy.
shame, He learns to feel guilty.
tolerance, He learns to be patient.
encouragement, He learns confidence.
praise, He learns to appreciate.
fairness, He learns justice.
approval, He learns to like himself.
acceptance and friendship, He learns to
find love in the world.
- Dorothy Law Nolte

This 21 Century Belongs To India

Did you know that India was the wealthiest
country in this Globe?
Subsequently India went down and down - Why?
India is rising once again. The Economy of India
is the tenth-largest in the world by nominal GDP
and the third-largest by
purchasing power parity (PPP).

God Talks with Arjuna

THE BHAGAVAD GITA

Sri Sri Paramhansa Yogananda

At the time India was

conquered by Western
colonial powers,
according to historian
Dr. J.T. Sunderland,
she was the wealthiest
nation on the globe.

Let us remember, wrote the eminent historian and

philosopher Will Durant (in The Case for India, New
York: Simon and Schuster, 1930), that India was the
motherland of our race, and Sanskrit the mother of
Europes languages; that she was the mother of our
philosophy, mother, through the Arabs, of much of
our mathematics, motherof the ideals embodied in
Christianity, mother, through the village community,
of self-government and democracy. Mother India in
many ways the mother of us all.
God Talks with Arjuna THE BHAGAVAD GITA
Sri Sri Paramhansa Yogananda

42

World religious authority Huston Smith recalls that in the

1950s the eminent British historian Toynbee predicted
that in the 21st century, India the conquered would
conquer her conquerors.

21st Century Does Belong to India

But who are these Indians who are going to make
India number one in the globe, is it you and me?
A piece of steel can be converted into a nail for
the concrete wall of our home. That cost may be
of 10 rupees? It could also be converted into a
spring for Rolex watch which could cost maybe
60,000 rupees.
Your child is a gift from God, what you make out
of him is your gift back to God.

Thank You!!