Resilience

THE

TO COME BACK.
January 2016

FORGIVENESS:
Laughing & Loving Again
by Tenisha Howard, MAEd - Exceptional Childrens Teacher

There are so many times that we make up our mind about a situation according to what we see in the natural. We decide not to pray and
trust what God is saying because it is contrary to what you see.

Forgiveness is a promise to no longer remember ones sin and
to cease holding it against them.
We take Gods forgiveness for granted every day! Forgiveness is a
verb, an action that you may have to do more than once to see the
manifestation of Gods word in the other person. Even in the mist of turmoil, you must seek God and act as if his word is already done.
When we accept what God says, we can put the hurt, mistrust, and
deception behind us because we are standing on Gods word. In the mist of a
pending divorce, I chose to follow the natural but the entire time God was showing and telling me his will. Instead of praying, I handed my heart and emotions
over to the natural. That opened the door for the enemy to cause more division.
When I finally let go and allowed God to move He did. For so many years I
have heard people say I forgive but I dont forget. If you cant forget then you
havent really forgiven. Just as God forgets our sins when we truly repent (turn
away and not go back) we must do the same.
True forgiveness allows you to start new, laugh and love again without fear. It
allows you to be a living example of the word.

How Resilient
is your hair?

by Karmelita Stevens, Educator & Healthy Hair Specialist - Hair Rehab Studio, Cary NC

If you would, lets reflect back for a minute. Do you remember when you
were little getting your hair fixed? Ponytails, cornrows, beaded braids, barrettes &
ribbons. Ok....as we got older we began to experiment more with haircuts, up-do
styles, color, relaxers, perms and the list goes on. Our hair strands have been resilient
through all the experimenting we have tried. It has stayed with us during all the pulling, combing, tugging, brushing & manipulating.

Now that were a little older, some may notice thinning, breakage, shedding and
even hair loss. In these cases, somewhere down the line we have compromised the resilience of our hair.
Merriam Webster defines Resilience as: the ability of something to return to its original
shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.
Elasticity is an important factor in building the resilience in hair. Resilience is similar to elasticity when thinking of hair. Elasticity is hairs ability to stretch (when wet or dry) and return back
to its original state. To maintain and build hairs resilience we must be proactive & consistent with a
hair regimen.

Here are just a few important tips for maintaining hairs resilience & overall health:

1. Protein treatments-Hair is made of a protein called Keratin. Keratin protein for hair is like calcium for our bones.

4.

When hair is shedding or breaking, protein is need to strengthen the hair. Consult with your stylist about adding protein
treatments to your hair care regimen, if needed.
2. Hydration-Our body is made of up of about 60% water and loses water through urine & sweat. Drink
8 glasses of water or more daily. Replenishing our body with water hydrates the hair and scalp.
3. Trimming ends-This tip, by far, is one of the most important. If your ends are not trimmed regularly your hair
strand travels upward and breaks off; this leaves short hair patches throughout your head. Your ends should be
trimmed by a licensed professional every 8-12 weeks.
Vitamins-Hair, Skin & Nail Vitamins are essential for resilience and growth. Along with your daily multivitamin, hair
vitamins give your body the necessities for strong healthy hair.

JANUARY IS THYROID DISEASE AWARENESS MONTH

Your thyroid is a small gland found at the base of your neck. Your thyroid makes thyroid hormone. Thyroid hormone controls many activities in your body, including how fast you burn calories and how fast your heart beats.
Diseases of the thyroid cause it to make either too much or too little of the hormone. Women are
more likely than men to have thyroid diseases, especially right after pregnancy and after menopause.

For more information visit www.womenshealth.gov or call the Helpline at 800-994-9662 for information and resources.

S.H.E. Inspires

January 2016

MY Story
by Yolanda LeJean Henderson , Music Teacher
CEO, Execute Performing Art After-school
Enrichment Program

When I think about the word resilience the first thing that
comes to mind is the ability to continue in the midst of opposition. The dictionary says that being resilient means that you are
able to return to the original form after being bent, compressed
or stretched. When I look at my life and all of the things that
Ive been through I look at it as just that, something that I have
gone THROUGH. I was raised in the church and therefore I
always knew about God, but it wasnt until age 16 that I started
to experience God through worship and understand His love for
me. I was molested at the age of 15 and this traumatic experience
really shaped how I looked at life. It also shaped how I looked at
men. As I began dating I always seemed to attract the same type
of guy; controlling, manipulative, abuse and
most were victims of abuse as well. This
thing that I was going through was called a
cycle, a repeated pattern that I experienced
with various men that continued for about 10
years. During those years I continue to be a
very active member in church as a worship leader and in 2005 I
became a minister. You may ask, how can one attend church but
not receive change for themselves and my answer would be that
there is a process that we all have to go through, and there is a
story that we must live out before we are able to help ourselves
or others. I believe that though the abuse was afflicted on me at
age 15 that there was purpose in my pain. I believe that if God
hadnt place resilience in me that I would have died a long time
ago but there was something in me that wanted more, more out
of life, more from myself and more from God. That cycle of abuse
was broken in my life in 2010 at a service. My Bishop (Danny
G. Newton) was preaching at a revival and the presence of God
fell heavily on all that were in the room, the young and the old. I

clearly heard God say that the cycle had ended. After leaving a life
of abuse behind me I still had to deal with the aftermath. I was
diagnosed with PTSD in 2012 after being in counseling. I had
to deal with the anxiety, the fear of something happening again.
The regret, the guilt, the shame, I had to deal with it all. I had to
overcome it all and I needed God more than ever and He was
there, He kept me going even when I felt like there was nothing
else left of me. Then the healing started, I started to learn to love
myself again, to care about me and to live for me. But I did that
through helping others, I started a support group for abuse victims
called SCT: Survive, Conquer and Triumph. I understood that in
helping others, I was also healing. Then I eventually finished my
book, Breaking The Cycle of Abuse which will
be released Spring 2016. I knew that someone
needed to hear my story, they needed to see
someone that overcame what they are currently in. I just want to encourage someone
that has been hurt or abused to know that this
is not the end of your life and that God has the power to turn your
life around and to put you back on your feet after being knocked
down for so long. You can stand again, you can love again and
you can heal. That same resilience that was in and is in me is
in you too. Now life hasnt been easy but its been worth it and
this is only the beginning if you choose to look at the now. Your
past does not have to rule you and you are not what youve been
through but you are stronger because of it. Choose to live a life of
freedom, you can choose to be happy, choose to live, to live according to the life that God has created for you. You have purpose
and you will find that in God. So choose today to live that life on
purpose, and to not just survive but embrace life as the beautiful
thing that it is.

THE PURPOSE
BEHIND MY PURSUIT

by Shanae Godley, MPH, Public Health Program Consultant

If you quit now, Momma will roll
over in her grave, my sister exclaimed
as we ventured back to Greenville. With
tears in my eyes and pain in my heart, I
had no clue how I was going to finish my
freshman year of college at ECU. I had just
spent Spring Break shopping and resting,
and taking the occasional trip to the nursing home to visit my Mom. The doctors
were saying that the breast cancer reoccurred and had spread to her lungs. They
were concerned that she wouldnt hold on
much longer.
Well, she didnt. The weekend I was
expected to return from Spring Break my
Momma died, and to make matters worse
my older sister had stopped by the nursing
home that evening to check on her; only
to find her lifeless body lying there, alone.
I dont know which was harder, my sister
making the phone call to tell me or me
receiving the news. Either way, it hit my
heart like a ton of bricks. I felt for my sister.
I cried for my mother. But, at the time I
had to be strong for my Grandmother, who
sat in the next room with no clue of her
daughters passing.

That moment changed everything. I
cant go back to school, I thought. This
is no time to leave my sister, my nephew,
and certainly not Grandma. Besides, there
is no way I can face the world now. What
was I going to do without my Momma?
She was the only person in the world who
stood up for me. She understood me as a

person. Of her four kids, I lived with her

the longest. I saw her make it through drug
abuse and multiple abusive relationships.
I saw her finish school at the Technical
College and become a professional. I was
there when she had my little brother and
bought him home for me to love. She was
my advocate. And now, shes gone.

The next week of my life, while all
of my friends were returning to college,
was spent planning for the funeral, writing
obituaries and choosing caskets, arguing
with my family over what dress she would
wear, and hoping that my younger siblings
would bounce back from this. I faced the
hardest thing ever as I watched the casket
close. I would never hear her voice, see
her smile, or watch her dance again. I
would never eat her cooking or read her
letters with the most gorgeous handwriting
I had ever seen. I lost all joy.
Well, a week had passed. My siblings
and I had made it through and family was
heading home, which meant it was time
for me to return, too. Nae, my sister said
as she kept her eyes on the road. You
will finish school! You have been through
too much to quit now. Momma would not
want you to quit, and Im not letting you.
Her pep talk went on for 45 minutes from
Scotland Neck to Greenville. She was serious about this, and I knew it. The last time
she talked to me this long was when she
fussed me out for writing on her favorite pair of jeans. We hadnt always been

the best of friends, but this was a game

changer for both of us.

She made it clear to me that returning to school meant one thing, It was
up to me to make Momma proudto
keep goingto succeed. And, so, thats
what I did. I worked harder! From leadership roles within my dorm to being hired
by University Housing Services, I stayed
busy. From ECU Ambassadors to becoming a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, I
met some amazing people and served the
community. I advocated for change in the
lives of others, pursued my dreams and I
wanted to believe more than anything that
I did it all for Momma. Ive always wanted
to make her proud.

On May 10, 2003, when I crossed the
stage at Minges Coliseum to receive my
Bachelor of Science degree with honors,
I knew that I had done just that. I knew
that she was pleased. I knew Momma was
proud of me, and not so much with me
finishing; she had seen me walk across
stages before. Momma was
pleased with my
relentless attempt to
succeed beyond
adversity. Its the
lesson she had
been trying to
teach me all of
my life.