IELTS - EFFECT OF CELEBRITIES ON YOUTH

candy07

May 23, 2014 #1

Topic - Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their
achievements . Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young
people .
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Response Young people all over the world are greatly influenced by media and celebrities. These
celebrities are popular among younger generations because of their glamorous
lifestyles . It is agreed that following celebrities can be dangerous for the youth . This
will be proven by looking at how health and personality of young people is affected by
following celebrities as their mentors.
First of all, it is seen that following celebrities blindly affects the health of adolescents .
Many young people indulge themselves in drugs and start smoking at an early age. For
example , in a survey carried out in a university , it was asked to students that why did
they start smoking, then around forty percent of individuals answered that they wanted
to look like their favorite screen actor while smoking cigarettes. This example makes it
clear that imitating celebrities has a negative influence on health of young individuals.
Secondly, it is believed that when youth follows celebrities it affects personality of young
people in a bad way. Adolescents follow not only the make up and attire of their favorite
stars but also their behavior. For instance recently in a poll conducted by an American
magazine it was found that most of the parents and teachers complain that teenagers
use derogatory words and abusive language at home and at schools.So, this example
makes it obvious that these glamorous celebrities have a poor effect on the conduct of
young people.
Thus to conclude , it can be said that when young people follow celebrities ,it affects
their health as well as behavior in a negative way. This has an overall effect on
personality and future of an individual. Therefore it is recommended that young people

should be educated not to follow these celebrities blindly, rather they should focus on
their career so that they may hope for a bright future.

IELTS: CELEBRITY'S ROLE - influence of celebrities

to the youth is as well positive as negative
Anh Nguyen 265
Aug 6, 2014 #1

Please elegant guys in the forum give me a hand with my essay. You are welcome to leave any
of your feedback or even rate my if you do not mind. All of your comments are highly
appreciated. Thank you everybody in advance
Topic: Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for
achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree
or disagree?
It is true that many celebrities nowadays are famous for their glamour and affluence, but not
their hard work, and some people think that they would set a bad example for young
generations. However, I believe that other people deserve to be an example of inspiration on
account of their achievements.
On the one hand, a number of famous people do achieve fame without putting much effort into
their life of work. These people might be known for their glamorous lifestyle and their means. In
addition, some of them also derive the fame from the exploitation of mass media in order to
attract the attention of audiences. A good example would be Paris Hilton, an heiress, who is
famous for nothing but extravagant and dissolute style of living. Therefore, she might spread the
message of a convenient life without much endeavor.
On the other hand, there is still a cluster of famous idols whose accomplishments are the
adequate inspiration for young people. Actor, musicians and sports stars are conventional
models of such celebrities. They always contribute their best talent, determination and ambition
to the success of their job. Take Eminem, a white rapper, as an example, with his great
perseverance, he has earned the name of the greatest alive performer of the black-dominant
genre of music. Consequently, he is obviously an universal symbol of famous individuals who
achieving the success by their adroitness and application

On the whole, it appears to me that the influence of celebrities to the youth are positive as well
as negative.

ELTS - EFFECT OF CELEBRITIES ON YOUTH

candy07 6
May 23, 2014 #1
Topic - Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements .
Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people .
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Response Young people all over the world are greatly influenced by media and celebrities. These
celebrities are popular among younger generations because of their glamorous lifestyles . It is
agreed that following celebrities can be dangerous for the youth . This will be proven by looking
at how health and personality of young people is affected by following celebrities as their
mentors.
First of all, it is seen that following celebrities blindly affects the health of adolescents . Many
young people indulge themselves in drugs and start smoking at an early age. For example , in a
survey carried out in a university , it was asked to students that why did they start smoking, then
around forty percent of individuals answered that they wanted to look like their favorite screen
actor while smoking cigarettes. This example makes it clear that imitating celebrities has a
negative influence on health of young individuals.
Secondly, it is believed that when youth follows celebrities it affects personality of young people
in a bad way. Adolescents follow not only the make up and attire of their favorite stars but also
their behavior. For instance recently in a poll conducted by an American magazine it was found
that most of the parents and teachers complain that teenagers use derogatory words and
abusive language at home and at schools.So, this example makes it obvious that these
glamorous celebrities have a poor effect on the conduct of young people.
Thus to conclude , it can be said that when young people follow celebrities ,it affects their health
as well as behavior in a negative way. This has an overall effect on personality and future of an
individual. Therefore it is recommended that young people should be educated not to follow
these celebrities blindly, rather they should focus on their career so that they may hope for a
bright future.

IELTS: Media coverage of celebrities is having a

negative effect on children.
nguoi_co_doc 10
Sep 2, 2014 #1
Please give me feedback on my essay. Thanks so much ^^
Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on
children.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There are variety different perspectives on the question of whether or not the appearance of
celebrities on mass media is having adverse influence on children. While some people still hold
a conservative view that media coverage of celebrities can effect children's behaviors and
development in a negative way. It is my personal belief that the biographies and achievements
of famous people can benefit children in many ways.
Opponents of the appearance of the famous argue that celebrity scandals damage the
children's perception of success. Some singers, and actors, for example, are infamous for their
abuse of drug and alcohol. However, that is only a small number. Many celebrities inspire and
uplift children through their life and accomplishments and motivate children to gain similar
achievements. Furthermore, a large of number celebrities came from poor families, and had to
face many hardships and overcome many obstacles on their way to fame.
In addition, many celebrities devote their time and resources for the advancement of society.
Indeed, their products such as songs, art pieces, and films contain the undeniable value for
people all around the world. Moreover, some famous people have established charity funds to
help people living in developing countries and those having serious diseases. Bill Gates, for
example, takes actions to help the poor in third world countries, and Angelina Jolie gives
humanitarian aid to help many people from all walk of life.
All in all, it has been proven that celebrities are known as people who have the interests of
society at heart. Celebrities create activities that can benefit communities, especially the
children in many ways. In other words, celebrities not only teach children the way to be
successful but they also raise their knowledge about the world.

vangiespen 1449
Sep 2, 2014 #2

This is a good start to this essay. There is actually room for more discussion. Most specially in
the 2nd paragraph where you were discussing the negative impact that the actions of celebrities
sometimes have on children. That portion would have been helped tremendously if you
mentioned some celebrities who acted negatively in real life and in the process, influenced their
young fans towards negative actions as well. Explaining that the way that the children dress like
gang members and talk tough and disrespectfully are attributes that they pick up from the way
that the media presents this as a part of the celebrity's way of life and thus, is a good thing.
The paragraph about the publicized the positive effect of celebrities is pure genius on your part.
The Angelina Jolie bit, is classic. But Bill Gates is not a celebrity in the true sense of the word so
I would choose someone else for the male counterpart. Perhaps Leonardo Di Caprio? Look up
his foundation. I know he also does a tremendous amount of charity work.
Now, the main problem of this essay is that, all though it is well written and you provided both
sides of the argument, you forgot to take a personal stand on the issue by agreeing or
disagreeing to the statement and explaining why. This could be done in the 4th paragraph of the
essay. It is obvious that you support the stance that the celebrities have a positive effect on the
children. I strongly suggest you present your personal reasons for believing so. Most likely by
mentioning how a particular positively influenced you when you are at an impressionable stage
in your life. Thus making that person a role model to you based upon the way the media
covered the life of the celebrity.
Your last paragraph is also effective. But remember to restate the prompt and reiterate your
thesis in the closing statement. Then your essay will be all set for grammar review :-)
hamedmas 19
Sep 2, 2014 #3
All in all, it has been proven that celebrities are known as people who have attract the
interests (interest is uncountable of society at heart. Celebrities create activities that
can benefit communities, especially the children in many ways. In other words,
celebrities not only teach children the way to be successful ,but they also raise their
knowledge about the world.

your essay is well -organized.;)

hamedmas 19
Sep 2, 2014 #4
Many celebrities inspire and uplift children through their life and accomplishments
and motivate children to gain similar (similar has a vague concept)achievements.
Furthermore, a large of number celebrities came from poor families, and had to face
many hardships (uncountable)and overcome many obstacles on their way to fame.
MarianaS

Sep 2, 2014 #5
Here are some pieces of advice. I hope, they will be helpful )
There are variety different perspectives on the question of whether or not the
appearance of celebrities on mass media is having adverse influence on
children. While some people still hold a conservative view that media coverage of
celebrities can effect children's behaviors and development in a negative way. It is my
personal belief that the biographies and achievements of famous people can benefit
children in many ways.

Do not use while at the beginning of the sentence. Instead, you should insert meanwhile. Here
is perfect video lesson on this grammar topic (Google search by key words engvid meanwhile
and while).
Furthermore, a large of number celebrities came from poor families, and had to face
many hardships and overcome many obstacles on their way to fame.

Good luck!
OP nguoi_co_doc
Sep 2, 2014 #6

10

@vangiespen. thanks so much. I am really appreciated when you tell me to write about
Leonardo Di Caprio. Absolutely, It's better than Bill Gates when I need to give an example about
celebirity.
dumi [Contributor] 1592
Sep 2, 2014 #7
There are variety different perspectives on the question of whether or not the
appearance of celebrities on mass media is having adverse influence on children.

Ok, this is your opening sentence and therefore it should be strong enough to grab your
reader's attention. So, don't write very long sentences. Write a short sentence that comes with
an interesting idea and a good punch. Also try and avoid redundant words in your sentences
that you use to lengthen the sentence.
People have varying views on how the media coverage on celebrities would affect the young
children.
While some people still hold a conservative stereotype view that media coverage of
celebrities it can effect children's behaviors and development in a negative way,
be juang
Sep 3, 2014 #8
While some people still hold a conservative view that media coverage of celebrities can effect
children's behaviors and development in a negative way

over all, its a good essay

parsonsss
Sep 3, 2014 #9
Well written essay to a point but I highly encourage you to follow other peoples advice but great
thou !
Xiaokai Jin 5
Sep 4, 2014 #10
All in all, it has been proven that celebrities are known as people who have the
interests of society at heart. Celebrities create activities that can benefit communities,
especially the children in many ways. In other words, celebrities not only teach
children the way to be successful but they also raise their knowledge about the world.

Hi nguoi! Good essay again. I am going to re-write your essay a little bit. Hope it will be helpful.
1)In other words, celebrities not only teach children the way to be successful but they also raise
their knowledge about the world.
I am not sure it is a great idea that you mentioned that celebrities will raise kids' knowledge
about the world. From my point of view, in the conclusion part, you shouldn't come up with a
new argument which you haven't touched in the previous paragraphs. I observe you talked
about celebrities raising charity and setting themselves as idols to the kids.
So, why don't you write a sentence covering most of the main points you talked about above?
Like, in other words, celebrities not only demonstrate their gird and courage by overcoming the
hardship in their life, but also let the kids realize it is more important to help other people to get
rid of poverty and predicament.
2)Celebrities create activities that can benefit communities, especially the children in many
ways.
Sorry i dont fully understand what this sentence means. Please rectify me if I am wrong here.
Are you saying that celebrities make big contribution to the society from which children benefit
mostly?
I will redo this sentence this way. Celebrities devoted themselves to the communities, especially
by raising charity and helping underpriviledged kids.